IN Magazine: May/June 2018

MAY / JUNE 2018

flying the rainbow flag with Pride Best books for LGBT families

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inmagazine.ca PUBLISHER Patricia Salib GUEST EDITOR Christopher Turner ART DIRECTOR Prairie Koo FASHION DIRECTOR Danyl Geneciran SENIOR WRITER Paul Gallant CONTRIBUTORS Steven Bereznai, Mathieu Chantelois, Erica Cupido, Christian Dare, Colin Druhan, Adriana Ermter, Paul Gallant, Ruth Hanley, Courtney Hardwick, Andrew Hunter, Karen Kwan, Herson Nebaya, Michael Pihach, Al Ramsay, Mitchel Raphael, Arjie Salongo, Adam Segal, Doug Wallace, Ashley L. Williams, Casey Williams, Marianne Wisenthal DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Reggie Lanuza MARKETING AND PROMOTIONS MANAGER Bradley Blaylock MARKETING AND SPONSORSHIP MANAGER Jumol Royes CONTROLLER Jackie Zhao

May / June 2018

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Contents

82 issue 82 may / june 2018

INFRONT

06 | Eat Well, Look Better Super foods to eat and rub onto your skin for optimum health 08 | Top “Gay Wheels” Counting down the best of the best, according to our friends at Gaywheels.com

09 | Sex Work Is My Prerogative Why do we look down on sex workers, when they’re just doing what people love doing...and making money from it?

Miss Vangie: The moment that sparked a million memes

14 | Flying the Flag...This Month and Year-Round TD’s Forever Proud campaign is READY for Pride Month 16 | ON THE TOWN Scenes from the party circuit 17 | Helping Entrepreneurs Get Closer To Their Dreams Win your way to Canada’s largest start-up event, Startupfest

FEATURES

18 | Let’s Talk About Pansexuality We chat with Morag Yule about pansexuality, sexual identity in the 21st century and...Miley Cyrus 20 | Best Books for LGBT Families These seven books will have your kids clamouring for bedtime

10 | Flying The Rainbow Flag With Purpose Where the rainbow flag came from and what it means to fly it with Pride

22 | The Gay Guide Has Spoken Matthew Dempsey talks gay friending and how to be a happy homo

12 | Sugar High One of the common addictions? Sugar. The sweet stuff has been compared to drugs— here’s how to break your habit

24 | The Two Sides Of Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman UnReal’s breakout star on reality TV, playing gay characters and following his instincts

13 | Overcoming Loneliness After a Death While it’s normal to feel lonely after a partner’s death, it’s also important to take steps to reclaim your happiness

28 | Groundbreaking Love, Simon is a Landmark Teen Classic The first mainstream teen romantic comedy to feature a gay lead character

30 | Embrace Diversity This International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia Taking the fight against intolerance one day at a time 31 | Instagram Phenom Luke Austin Photographer Luke Austin talks Instagram, intimacy and his explorations of bodies, race and identity 34 | Big Ben Beats Is Toronto ready for a serious dose of music and muscles?

44 | A Brave Warrior Of The Heart Love, Scott is the true story of Scott Jones, a gay man who was left paralyzed after a homophobic attack 46 | Tucking Into Singapore This island country knows that the way to my heart is unequivocally through my stomach 50 | FLASHBACK: June 28, 1970 in LGBT history The idea of a gay pride parade is born

FASHION 35 | Ladies, Show Your Pride: “The Betty G” Shoe Make a statement with Pride-inspired shoes 36 | ISLAND ZEN This season, update your wardrobe with chic, island-inspired summer essentials 5

EAT WELL, LOOK BETTER Super foods to eat and rub onto your skin for optimum health

By Adriana Ermter

In his brand new book The TB12 Method: How to Achieve a Lifetime of Sustained Peak Performance, New England Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady, otherwise known as Mr. Giselle Bündchen, outlines his personalized self-help manual for optimum health, exercise and nutrition.

May / June 2018

“The regimen I follow is a mix of Eastern and Western philosophies,” preaches the larger-than-life Brady in his book. “Some of these principles have been around for thousands of years. My nutritional regimen may seem restrictive to some people, but to me it feels unnatural to eat any other way.”

say that the skin never lies and is the mirror of the body, reflecting the truth of what is happening on the inside,” says Cooper. “So it’s critical for skin health that we include great skincare habits into our healthy practices.”

With approximately 10 per cent of the nutrients we ingest making their way to the surface, dermatologists and skincare companies now incorporate key nutritional items into lotions, creams and more to enhance their internal/external aesthetic impact. Ingredients such as chia seed extract fights free radicals generated by pollution, and repairs cellular damage to help reduce the signs of aging. Rice bran and ginger exfoliate dead skin cells to brighten your skin and promote cellular renewal. Tamarind seed extract works to retain moisture in your dermis to keep your epidermis hydrated, while rosemary and oatmeal act as an anti-inflammatory, diminishing red itchy skin and healing wounds such as shaving nicks and cuts as well as acne blemishes. Cooper adds that renowned super foods, such as blueberries, rhubarb and green tea, are also a rich source of antioxidants, and that vitamins A, B, C, D, E and F, as well as vegetable enzymes, coconut oil and gel, all work to assist your skin’s cellular turnover to keep you looking healthy and young.

Brady’s TB12 Method advocates a plant-based, locally sourced, organic diet complete with foods such as artichokes, dandelion greens and escarole, and shuns high-caloric and inflammatory foods like sugar, carbohydrates and packaged goods that can wreak havoc on your body and skin. While promoting natural living plus beautifying and health-inducing foods is not a new concept, Brady’s point of view—not to mention his attractive physique and clear-skinned complexion—inspires, making us take a closer look at how certain foods can benefit the body inside and out thanks to their anti-inflammatory and cell-rejuvenating properties when simultaneously eaten and rubbed onto our skin.

“The skin is a brilliant organ and has the built-in ability to recover, renew and repair itself,” says Cooper. “So selecting Charmaine Cooper, the master educator for Dermalogica and The a line of skin care that contains ingredients to deliver these International Dermal Institute, agrees with Brady. She believes properties directly to the skin, along with choosing healthy many natural ingredients benefit your internal organs first, before eating habits that nourish the body within, will all support their skin-enhancing attributes are seen on your face. “We often your optimal health.”

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l o o k ing g o o d

Five Must-Have, Super Food Skincare Products

Dermalogica Sound Sleep Cocoon $108 for 50 mL, available online at www.dermalogica.ca The tamarind seed extract and vitamin C-infused night treatment hydrates and brightens your skin while you sleep.

Farmacy New Dawn Mask Medley Gel Masks $32 for 3 sheet masks, available exclusively at Sephora These non-greasy, one-use-only sheet masks have been soaked in rhubarb, coconut and vegetable enzymes to hydrate, firm, brighten and smooth away the appearance of fine lines.

Olay Cleansing Infusion Crushed Ginger Facial Cleanser From $11 for 150 mL, available at Shoppers Drug Mart fresh and invigorating, this ginger- and citrus-based face wash gently eliminates dirt, grime and dead skin cells from your skin to leave you with a youthful glow.

Aveeno Ultra-Calming Nourishing Night Cream $20 for 48 mL, available at Shoppers Drug Mart Nourishing and soothing oats along with calming feverfew plant replace red, dry and itchy skin with a smooth, hydrated epidermis.

Pretty Cosmetics In Harmony Balancing Cream $35 for 30 mL, available online at prettycosmetics.ca Lightweight, easily absorbed and conditioning, this day cream is replete with hydrating coconut oil and balancing rosemary extract.

ADRIANA ERMTER is a Toronto-based, lifestyle-magazine pro who has travelled the globe, writing about must-spritz fragrances, child poverty, beauty and grooming.

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WHEELS

TOP “GAY WHEELS” Counting down the best of the best, according to our friends at Gaywheels.com

By Casey Williams

At Gaywheels.com, they drive all types of vehicles from every brand, but the top five brands researched on the site are Nissan, Subaru, Fiat, Mazda and Jeep. We do appreciate authenticity and beauty, which may explain the affection. Within those brands, there are some exceptional new models worth driving. Here are the best from among the most popular.

2018 Nissan Leaf Autonomous self-driving cars are the future for most automakers, but not Nissan. That’s because the all-electric Leaf is already there. Beneath its sleek new skin is a bank of lithium-ion batteries that give the car a range of 242 km and generate a peppy 147 horsepower. You can nearly drive the car with one pedal, but Nissan’s ProPilot Assist system uses adaptive cruise control and cameras to maintain a safe speed and automatically keep the car in its lane—even around curves. Manage charging through your smartphone.

Base price: $35,998 2019 Subaru Ascent For those Subaru fans who need more space, there’s a bigger ride from this LGBT-friendly brand. Able to seat seven or eight passengers in three rows of seats, the Ascent can be equipped with heated leather seats, Harman Kardon audio, 3-zone climate control, and Wi-Fi. Subaru’s EyeSight crash avoidance system with stereo cameras is superb. Step into a 260 horsepower turbocharged four-cylinder Boxer engine connected to torque-vectoring all-wheel-drive. X-Mode hill descent control handles moderate off-roading.

Base price: $35,995 2018 Fiat 500X Urbana Edition It bears a strong family resemblance to the cute 500 microcar, but the 500X crossover is much more useful. It’s still very stylish in Urbana Edition trim, with black instrument bezels, cloth bucket seats with copper embossing, 18-inch gloss black wheels and black exterior trim. Beats audio rocks. On urban or extra-urban roadways, the 2.4-litre four-cylinder engine, connected to all-wheel-drive through a nine-speed transmission, delivers 180 horsepower and uses just 7.8 L/100 km.

Base price: $31,590 2018 Mazda3 Sport Mazda proves that a car can be gorgeous, efficient and inexpensive—all while feeling special. Embracing the brand’s flowing Kodo design ethos with crisp sheetmetal details is fit for an art gallery, but the five-door body makes it incredibly practical. Interiors with joywheel-controlled touchscreen infotainment and contrasting colours look fit for an Audi.

A full suite of crash avoidance tech is available. The base 155 horsepower four-cylinder engine delivers 6.4 L/100 km. Step up to the 184 horsepower 2.5-litre engine for more fun.

Base price: $19,900

May / June 2018

2019 Jeep Cherokee

A redesigned front brings styling closer to the Grand Cherokee, but behind the grille is an all-new turbocharged four-cylinder engine generating 270 horsepower and employing auto stop/start and a nine-speed transmission to maximize fuel economy. A next-generation four-wheel-drive system enhances Jeep’s famous off-road capability. Configure it for Snow,Sport, Sand/Mud or Rocks. Get it with a dual-pane sunroof, Apple CarPlay, Android Auto and 19-inch wheels.

Base price: $29,995 8

CASEY WILLIAMS is a contributing writer for Gaywheels.com. He contributes to the New York-based LGBT magazine Metrosource and the

INChicago MAGAZINE Tribune. He and his husband live in Indianapolis, where Williams contributes videos and reviews to wfyi.org, the area’s PBS/NPR station.

se x

Sex Work Is My Prerogative

Why do we look down on sex workers, when they’re just doing what people love doing…and making money from it?

By Ashley L. Williams

From the beginning of time, sex has been a means of survival. It’s currency, it’s trade, it’s pleasure, it’s life. Sex work is one of the oldest jobs that has carried down through time...yet there’s still such a stigma around it. We understand that not everyone chooses this life, and those who are forced into it are a completely different conversation—but for a moment, can we just talk about those who are sex workers, on their own terms, their own way...

in the lifestyle for a while, is to always make your own safety the priority. Pay someone to drive you to and from every appointment; and notify someone (or multiple people) of where you’re going and how long your appointment is supposed to last, because if something seems off, they can notify police. Also, never let someone lay a hand on you without consent; whether it’s “playful” or not, you are a human who deserves respect.

We’ll let you in on a secret: people enjoy sex! Whether you have sex with someone you love or with someone you’ve just met, you’re still having sex. It’s a natural part of life—and if someone is able to make some money from doing what everyone else is doing, why are we looking down on them for it?

Above all else, make sure you’re having fun.

What makes you stand out in the industry?

Being androgynous means that I can offer more services. I’ve never really related with just one gender. I am whatever I want to be, and when I’m with a client, I’m whatever they need me to be.

A Paradise of my own Introduced to a life they call sin, Created my own paradise, pleasures within A profession not always full of glitz and glamour— a risk you must be willing to take to dance with the Devil.

Sure I have scares, but it’s mostly been good I meet all sorts of people, as a sex worker should.

I made my bed and laid in it, I’m comfy and sound.

Here in my Paradise, I am a Queen newly found Not the life I had dreamt of, but the life that I love My body, my choice... I won’t silence my voice.

My life revolves around Sex work, I stand loud and proud My prerogative is my choice, of which I am allowed.

What advice can you offer someone who is considering sex work?

Of course, this industry isn’t always nice to you.… My advice to people who are just starting out, or even people who have been

I was introduced to a life they call sin, Created my own paradise, pleasures within.

–Anonymous

I was able to talk to someone who has been in the lifestyle for six years. They shared with me a poem (see right) they had written about what sex work means to them (they wished to remain anonymous for this article). Here’s what they had to say about their life.

ASHLEY L. WILLIAMS is an essential part of the team at Seduction Love Boutique, being one of two main contributors to the Toronto stores’ marketing department as well as a dedicated sales manager. Seduction has proudly served the community since 1998; follow it on Instagram: @SeductionTO.

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Flying The Rainbow Flag With Purpose

Where the rainbow flag came from and what it means to fly it with Pride

By Colin Druhan

May / June 2018

“My dearest friend in the world is gone,” wrote prominent HIV/ AIDS and LGBTQ+ rights activist Cleve Jones on Facebook in March of 2017 following the death of the man who had given the world the iconic rainbow flag. “I can’t stop crying. I love you forever Gilbert Baker.” The first rainbow flag was a hand-sewn piece created by Baker and dozens of volunteers for his friend Harvey Milk to use at the San Francisco Gay Freedom Day parade in 1978. Those marching and celebrating at the event did not know that just months later Milk would be tragically assassinated and that the rainbow flag would go on to become a globally recognized symbol of pride, community, and the struggle for LGBTQ+ rights.

“Since the creation of the rainbow flag, there has been an acceptance of it as a unifying symbol by the LGBTQ+ community. Businesses, restaurants, homes and street signage display the rainbow to signify that the premises, places and spaces are LGBTQ+ safe spaces,” says Dennis Findlay, president of the Board of Directors of the Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives (CLGA). Such an important symbol warrants examination of where it came from, and what it means to fly a rainbow flag with pride.

The colours of the flag each have a meaning, originally ascribed by Baker. Red for life, orange for healing, yellow for sunlight, green for nature, indigo for serenity and violet for spirit. Although nobody owns the image of the flag, a version with these colours is widely recognized as the most common composition. As is the case with 10

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many iconic images that are not trademarked, the rainbow flag has been used in a variety of ways by individuals, organizations and businesses to amplify their own message of LGBTQ+ inclusion. In 2017, the City of Philadelphia’s Office of LGBT Affairs created a version of the flag that included black and brown stripes. It was part of a campaign called “More Color More Pride,” an initiative that sought to promote the inclusion of people of colour in Pride activities in Philadelphia. While the conversation about the initiative was sometimes polarizing, the move drew focus to the very real issue of racial discrimination and cultural exclusion within LGBTQ2+ communities and events that exists beyond just one city. The reaction online was fierce, with some supporting and adopting Philadelphia’s version of the flag, and others feeling the symbol should not be altered in any way.

The fact is that the flag has undergone several changes throughout the years, and has transformed with agility based on the various challenges LGBTQ2+ people have faced. The original design included the colours pink, symbolizing sex, and turquoise, symbolizing magic. This version of the flag had been hand-dyed and hand-sewn. However, pink and turquoise were removed from the design by Baker when demand for the rainbow flag warranted mass production and dyes of those colours were not widely available. The adjustment, made to increase access to the symbol, actually helped propel it forward to become the icon it is today. In the 1980s, various community groups, who were advocating for more to be done to confront

Gilbert Baker, designer of the rainbow flag (1951-2017)

the AIDS epidemic, added black stripes to the rainbow flag.

One version, dubbed the Victory Over AIDS Flag, placed the black stripe below the other colours to symbolize that the community’s pride and unity would one day overcome the struggles associated with HIV/AIDS. These transformations mirror the trajectory of other symbols that have changed and grown over time to reflect the broad diversity of the community, such as the acronyms used to represent various identities. While it was once common to hear only about “gay rights,” one can now find acronyms like LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQ2+ (or even longer ones) being used around the world.

Because the rainbow flag is not trademarked, there are no formal criteria for businesses that display it. However, Christopher Hudspeth, vice chair of the Church-Wellesley Village BIA in Toronto, says, “I think it’s expected that the business [that displays the flag] will not just be welcoming, but will adhere to employment practices that are in line with promoting people within our community.” Individuals, community organizations and brands that employ the rainbow flag and associated imagery therefore need to consider how it is being used and whether they are acting authentically. “If people are going to use a symbol that represents a community, then they must adhere to the values that the flag represents,” says Raegan Swanson, executive director of the CLGA. “Unless they are actually practising inclusivity that considers intersectionality throughout their business practices, then they are misrepresenting themselves as allies.”

As more companies embrace the rainbow flag by incorporating its colours into their logo, using it in advertisements and waving it on parade floats, it rests on the LGBTQ+ community to ensure that this image of our movement is being used appropriately and with purpose. Many larger employers support LGBTQ2+ employee resource groups (ERGs) and spaces for LGBTQ+ employees to come together to create an inclusive work environment. The best employers lean on ERGs and outside community groups to make recommendations about how to incorporate the flag into Pride activities authentically so that workers can not only show pride for their community, but appreciation for the strides their employer has taken to include them as well as LGBTQ+ clients and customers.

When you enter a business that displays the rainbow flag this Pride season, ask the people who work there what the symbol means to their employer. Inquire as to what the business is doing to support LGBTQ+ workers and how they are working to bring down barriers to employment for members of our community. Ask whether their efforts take into account the experiences of LGBTQ+ women, people who are trans and LGBTQ+ people of colour.

Considering the long history of people who have fought—often at great personal sacrifice—for the rights of LGBTQ+ people, and the considerable challenges that our community continues to face, displaying the rainbow flag could be considered a badge of honour.

A lot of companies want LGBTQ+ dollars this Pride season. Before you spend, make sure the flag is being flown with purpose.

COLIN DRUHAN is the executive director of Pride at Work Canada, a not-for-profit organization that empowers employees to foster workplace cultures that recognize LGBT employees. For more information, visit prideatwork.ca.

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H E A LT H & W E LL N E S S

SUGAR HIGH

One of the common addictions? Sugar. The sweet stuff has been compared to drugs— here’s how to break your habit

By Karen Kwan

That heady rush. There’s no denying it feels fantastic…that is, until you start to come off of the high—which may have you clamouring for another hit. No, it’s not drugs we’re talking about, but rather an addiction too many of us have: sugar. The average Canadian consumes 88 pounds of sugar annually, which translates to about one in every five calories we consume. This is much higher than the World Health Organization recommendation to limit sugar to less than 10 per cent of our daily calories.

Nutritionist Sherry Strong knows sugar addiction well. When she was a chef, she admits to thinking she had a licence to eat sugar, and as a result doubled in size. Fed up with feeling flat, fat and depressed, she decided this was not how life was meant to be and got off the sugar roller coaster. The Vancouver-based founder of the nutrition company Return to Food now helps people develop a healthy relationship with food, including programs to get you off sugar. We checked in with her to get her insight on breaking sugar addiction.

May / June 2018

What are a few signs you’re addicted to sugar?

There are many different symptoms. Anything from feeling flat and depressed and tired to experiencing that 3 pm slump—if you’re always thinking about something to eat, or if you’re experiencing brain fog, for example.

Are there ways we consume sugar without even realizing it?

Yes, it’s not just eating a sweet treat like cake or ice cream. There are lots of ways of getting sugar into the body with savoury foods.

No one thinks beef jerky is a sweet treat. They think, ‘Oh, I’ll eat this beef jerky to control sugar cravings,’ but some of them include 33 per cent refined sugar. Smoothies at juice bars, too. How they can make some of those smoothies so cheap is because 60 to 70 12

per cent of it is juice from concentrate. Sure, they can add greens so it looks green and healthy, but mostly that smoothie is just sugar.

What’s the first step in dealing with sugar addiction then?

Certain things trigger our sugar consumption, so it starts with awareness of what is triggering us. This is as important as how much sugar we are eating. It may be stress at work, certain people in our lives, or even reading crime novels. I have had clients addicted to crime novels and reading them created unrest within themselves. They didn’t make the connection at first, but they were eating sugar to compensate for the discomfort that came from reading these books.

So how would you recommend starting to consume less sugar?

Should one go cold turkey?

I don’t recommend going cold turkey to give up sugar. There’s only one per cent of the population who can go cold turkey. We have a process of identifying where you are malnourished mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically. For someone approaching this on their own, I’d recommend focusing on eating things that are seasonal, local, organic and whole—think of the acronym SLOW. Bring into your diet foods that fit that criteria and aren’t processed, and you will start to nourish the body.

But since we need sugar to survive, how do we balance it out?

We don’t need sugar to survive. We need food to survive. What we need are nutrients—vitamins and minerals and phytonutrients.

And the nutrients we need are also carried with sugar. Sugar is nature’s way of delivery, to ensure we eat the fruit that delivers those nutrients we need. Obviously we need a certain amount of energy to run efficiently, but a paradigm shift needs to happen. We do not need to seek out sugar.

KAREN KWAN is a freelance health, travel and lifestyle writer based in Toronto. Follow her on Twitter at @healthswellness and on Instagram at @healthandswellness.

IN MAGAZINE

While it’s normal to feel lonely after a partner’s death, it’s also important to take steps to reclaim your happiness

By Adam Segal

Dear Adam, I am nearly 70 years old and had an incredible 35-year relationship with my partner, who passed away one year ago. I know what we had was extraordinary, and feel so lucky to have lived those years with him. I spent the first months after his death in a heavy depression. After some time and lots of support from friends, I’ve come closer to accepting what’s happened and have even started dating. I’ve noticed a pattern where I meet a new guy, get very excited and start picturing a life with him—only to find out that we aren’t a match and feeling stupid to have thought otherwise. I want to be more realistic, but I get so hopeful that I stop thinking clearly. It’s been ages since I’ve dated so I’m shaky about how to go about this without making myself feel even more lonely. Any tips? —Serge Dear Serge, I’m sure you are tired of hearing this—but I want to express how sorry I am that you have suffered such a substantial loss. You are right to recognize just how special your relationship with your partner was, and I can imagine that losing him was disorienting and heartbreaking. It makes sense to me that, as you begin to feel the grief soften, you are beginning to wonder about new relationship possibilities. It’s a good sign that your appetite for dating has

emerged—it means the darkest clouds of depression are parting.

You have some awareness already of how fraught dating can be—and of your tendency to get smitten before you really know someone well enough to justify it. For anyone in the dating pool, there’s always disappointment when we think someone could be a good fit, only to realize there’s no real spark. For you, unfortunately, it will sting even more because these limp experiences will highlight just how fantastic your relationship was, and will magnify fears of never finding something special again.

None of this means that you can’t date—or that dating can only happen once the grief is magically eradicated. What will be vital, though, is that you approach dating with the wisdom that it will be evocative at times and exhausting at others. See if you can stay curious about the new folks you meet—don’t assume they’ll be your next great love and also don’t catastrophize if it fizzles out.

Nothing can take away just how meaningful that decades-long relationship was to you. There’s no doubt that you will find yourself comparing new fellas with your previous partner—but dating opens the door for you to embark on something entirely new, and it’s likely worth the strife.

ADAM SEGAL, writer and therapist, works in private practice in downtown Toronto. Ask him your relationship or mental-health questions at @relationship@inmagazine.ca.

OUR PASSION IS INTENSE. A profound need for answers and a devotion to progress permeates everything we do. We have a burning desire to make a real difference for people living with HIV, and we’re not afraid to show it.

Our core values run deep. www.viivhealthcare.ca | @viivhc

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Re l a t i o nshi p s

Overcoming Loneliness After a Death

M o ne y $ t y l e

Flying the Flag…This Month and Year-Round TD’s Forever Proud campaign is READY for Pride Month

By Al Ramsay

Forever Proud. It’s the iconic rainbow symbol but in circular form. It’s TD’s LGBTQ2+ symbol. You’ve heard it. You’ve seen it. You might even have walked through it during Pride. Where did this symbol come from? What does it mean? And, most importantly, why is it so crucial to the success of TD’s support of the LGBTQ2+ community?

May / June 2018

TD has had a long history of championing inclusion and diversity— which includes the LGBTQ2+ community. In fact, we were the first bank in Canada to introduce same-sex benefits in the workplace (way back in 1994), and we’ve continued to forge ahead—it’s now in our DNA. However, it was not always that way. Not too long ago, employees at TD didn’t feel they could bring their whole selves to work. Even with our policies in place to protect them, they simply didn’t feel included. In fact, we had embarrassingly low take-up rates for our same-sex benefits.

Everyone knows when someone is, or somewhere feels, inclusive.

Our turning point came back in 2004. Ed Clark, our then president and CEO, kicked into gear what we now call Diversity 2.0 at TD.

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He formed our Diversity Leadership Council, and got his entire senior executive team on board to chair one of six initiatives supporting various diverse groups—including LGBTQ2+. Bharat Masrani, our current president and CEO, has taken the baton and embedded it in our DNA. From the get-go, we knew we had to be different to make change.

Inclusion and diversity had to be the business imperative for substantive change. It’s not only the right thing to do from a humanistic standpoint but it makes good business sense—from acquiring the best talent and supporting our employees to achieve their full potential, to authentically supporting our communities where we live, work and do business with our customers.

Supporting Pride festivals has always been and continues to be a cornerstone of our support for the LGBTQ2+ community, and it all started back in 2005, when TD was the first major bank in Canada to sponsor a Pride festival. We sponsored Pride Toronto and forged ahead—we now sponsor 57 Pride festivals from Florida to the Northwest Territories plus more than 100 LGBTQ2+ grassroots community initiatives across Canada—and counting!

The success of these partnerships relies heavily on our employees.

They’ve always been the heart and soul of our Inclusion and Diversity efforts—that’s true for every initiative at TD. We are proud to say that we have one of the largest employee Pride networks in Canada, where our LGBTQ2+ employees and their allies come together year-round to help foster an inclusive environment within the workplace and in our communities.

Unique roles—another first in the financial industry in Canada From a customer standpoint, I’m fortunate to lead a dedicated team that serves our LGBTQ2+ customers to provide the best financial advice and deliver legendary client experience. Our roles are unique in that they are one of a kind in the financial industry in Canada. We have the best jobs because we get to work side by side with our customers, employees and the community at large.

And there is no better time to do that than during Pride season.

We are READY to celebrate with our friends and customers as we’ve been doing for decades! However, when the last confetti

floats to the ground and the last Pride festival for the year has been completed, TD support for the LGBTQ2+ will kick into another gear, because we understand that in order to be a genuine partner, our support for our employees, customers and the community at large has to be year-round.

It cannot be Pride for a day. It must be Pride 365, which is why we’ll be…#ForeverProud.

To kick off its Pride celebrations, TD has recently launched its Forever Proud video, which highlights some of its LGBTQ2+

employees and community partners. To view this video, please visit inmagazine.ca.

AL RAMSAY is TD Bank Group’s regional manager, LGBTQ2+ Business Development, and leads a team of expert advisors dedicated to serving the LGBTQ2+ community. For more information or to book a meeting, he can be reached at al.ramsay@td.com or follow him on Twitter at @AlRamsay_TD.

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Scenes From The Party Circuit

By Michael Pihach

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Black Diamond Ball at Fairmont Royal York (photos by Mitchel Raphael) 1: Al Ramsay, Shawn Cuffie, Hollywood Jade, 2: Liberty Silver, 3: Mya, 4: Cleopatra Roberts.

Firefly Pub at The 519 5: Ticky Ty, Sandy Duperval, 6: Timothy Chan, Ryan Sanders, 7: Mark Salameh, Derek de Nobrega, 8: Catherine Le, Matt Donley.

Snap at the Toronto Reference Library’s Bram & Bluma Appel Salon (photos courtesy of the AIDS Committee of Toronto) 9: Simon Clements, Perry Tung, Eric Lau, Nicole Larade-Tung, 10: John Maxwell, Thomas Brasch, John Larsson, 11: Scott Mullin, 12: Louis Dimitracopoulos.

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a d v e r t o r ia l

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Helping Entrepreneurs Get Closer To Their Dreams Win your way to Canada’s largest start-up event, Startupfest

Born in San Francisco, SKYY’s beginning was inspired by an entrepreneur in search of a better vodka. Disappointed with what was available on the market, Maurice Kanbar, a serial entrepreneur, set out to create a superior-tasting vodka with fewer impurities. A better, smoother, and purer vodka. Ignoring his critics and never taking no for an answer, his ingenious spirit is embodied in SKYY. Twenty-six years later, SKYY Vodka is still celebrating its beginnings, and wants to share with all those who are willing to approach each day as an opportunity to make their mark. Partnering with Canada’s largest start-up event, Startupfest, SKYY Vodka wants to help one lucky entrepreneur get closer to their dreams by awarding an all-access and all-expenses-paid trip to the annual event!

HAVE AN IDEA? A DREAM? SKYY WANTS TO GIVE YOU THE ULTIMATE START UP EXPERIENCE.

In 2016, over $500,000 worth of investments and prizes were awarded at Startupfest—and now SKYY Vodka wants to give you the chance to make your dreams into a reality. If you are selected this year, SKYY will send you plus a guest to Montreal, where you will have the opportunity to pitch your great idea to several investors, for the chance at some real money!

Don’t miss your chance to connect with industry leaders and get your project off the ground. For more details and to enter, please visit www.startupfestival.com.

BORN IN SAN FRANCISCO TM

@skyycanada

@skyyvodka.ca

PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY.

Startupfest, which will be held this year in Montreal July 10-14, is a week-long gathering of some of the best entrepreneurs, founders, investors, and mentors from around the world. It features inspiring talks given by seasoned entrepreneurs, informative how-to sessions, keynote speakers, and interactive panels—not to mention tons of tangible investment opportunities and prizes from top accelerators to world-renowned venture capitalists.

Must be legal drinking age. Contest closes May 22, 2018.

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se x u a l i t y

Let’s Talk About Pansexuality We chat with Morag Yule about pansexuality, sexual identity in the 21st century and…Miley Cyrus

By Andrew Hunter

May / June 2018

The expansive rainbow of LGBT+ terms and identifications, however puzzling at times, is one of the most beautiful things about being a member (or ally!) of the community—there are essentially no limits to how people can express their individual sexual preferences.

Having said this, there are one or two identifications that don’t get as much, well, press coverage as the others.

Love her or hate her, one has to give Miley Cyrus (yes, that Miley Cyrus) credit for introducing a public dialogue about pansexuality.

The songstress came out as pansexual in 2016 after becoming involved with an LGBT+ centre in Los Angeles and deeply relating to the stories she heard from young people. Cue Whitney Houston’s Greatest Love Of All… We chatted with Morag Yule, a psychologist at Toronto’s Sexuality Centre, about pansexuality and its place in the LGBT+ alphabet.

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Firstly, what is pansexuality?

Generally, the term pansexual is used to describe a person who experiences sexual attraction to any person, regardless of gender or sex. I would differentiate this from ‘panromantic,’ which I would define to mean someone who experiences romantic attraction to any person, regardless of gender or sex. I do think that sometimes people use the term ‘pansexual’ to refer to both pansexual and panromantic as I would define them.

What is the difference between pansexuality, bisexuality and omnisexuality?

Bisexuality refers to a person who is sexually attracted to both men and women, and excludes attraction to individuals who are outside of this dichotomy. There is a lot of overlap between the constructs of pansexuality and omnisexuality, in that both terms describe experiencing sexual attraction towards ‘all’ genders

(pan- and omni- mean ‘all’ in Greek and Latin, respectively). As far as I understand, the difference in identifying as pansexual vs. omnisexual is about whether or not a person’s gender is relevant to the sexual attraction. Pansexuality is about attraction to someone regardless of their gender, as in gender is not relevant at all in sexual attraction. For omnisexuality, on the other hand, gender is still relevant in sexual attraction, and the person can experience sexual attraction to all genders.

Why is pansexuality an identification that is often realized later in life and not during an individual’s adolescence?

I would suspect that this is because our culture is set up in a very binary way, as in people are generally seen to be attracted to either males or females, or both. We do not have everyday language to describe the experience of being attracted to all genders, and it might often be the case that people aren’t aware that more than two genders exist. It may only be later on in life, through exposure to a wider range of experiences and people, that individuals come to realize that they are attracted to all genders.

Jewellery as unique as the individual who wears it!

In your opinion, why has pansexuality become such a prominent identification for those using dating apps? Have celebrities like Miley Cyrus made this sexual identification trendy?

I think that, in part, it is because of celebrities like Miley Cyrus. In addition, there has been an increase in people openly identifying as genders other than male and female, which then allows people the opportunity to notice the experience of sexual attraction to the entire range of gender identities. A combination of these two things has given more people the chance to experience sexual attraction to non-binary individuals, as well as the language to describe this attraction.

Is pansexuality a topic that you’ve explored in your research or with your patients?

I study asexuality, which is a lack of sexual attraction to anyone, and pansexuality is not something I’ve explored directly in my research.

However, panromanticism is experienced frequently in the asexual community, so this is something that has come up in my research in terms of sexual attraction and romantic attraction not necessarily being in alignment (i.e., a research participant might identify as asexual and panromantic).

Morag Yule received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of British Columbia and completed her clinical internship at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) in Toronto. She has extensive training in and experience with gender identity issues and sexual dysfunctions, including problems with sexual desire, trouble experiencing sexual arousal and orgasm, and sexual pain. She is especially recognized for her groundbreaking studies of asexuality and its assessment.

Where can you go for support?

QMUNITY in Vancouver has supports of all sexual orientations, as does the Sherbourne Health Centre in Toronto. University LGBTQA+ groups are often great places to find support for all orientations, and Pride organizations are becoming more and more inclusive. Finding online communities can also be very supportive, and does not rely on geographic proximity.

Andrew Hunter is a Toronto-based writer and educator. He’s a tennis player, runner and kickass uncle. He learned stuff at Royal Roads University, Seneca College and The London School of Journalism. You can find him at your local dive bar ostensibly writing a novel.

138 CUMBERLAND STREET (OLD YORK LANE) TORONTO 19 416-927-8181 – CARRERAYCARRERA.CA

f ami l y

Best Books for LGBT Families These seven books will have your kids clamouring for bedtime

By Marianne Wisenthal

Looking for bedtime stories that reflect your own family? Here is an inspiring reading list of books that celebrate diversity, inclusivity and, most importantly, self-acceptance:

Morris Micklewhite and the Tangerine Dress by Christine Baldacchino; pictures by Isabelle Malenfant Ages 4 to 7 Morris Micklewhite’s absolute favourite thing to do is to play dress-up, but “astronauts don’t wear dresses,” the other boys tell him. So Morris decides to make his own spaceship, proving that bright orange dresses make space walks even more exciting. This is an uplifting read for any kid (or grown-up) who dances to the tune of their own drummer. $15.29

May / June 2018

A Family Is a Family Is a Family by Sara O’Leary; illustrated by Qin Leng Ages 4 to 7 Every family is special, no matter what its shape or size. When a teacher asks the students in her class to describe their own families, the children’s answers are all different.

From step-siblings and same-sex parents to foster moms and adoptive dads, O’Leary’s award-winning book reinforces the idea that the true definition of family is one where there’s plenty of love and affection. $15.61

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Be Who You Are! by Todd Parr Ages 3 to 6 All of Parr’s books are like a giant rainbow-hued hug. With its themes of joy and self-acceptance, this drag queen storytime favourite encourages children to feel good about themselves.

Simple but powerful, Be Who You Are! is filled with the author’s trademark colourful drawings while teaching kids to be brave, to be funny, to share their feelings and, most of all, to accept themselves as unique. $20.29

Stella Brings the Family by Miriam B. Schiffer; illustrations by Holly Clifton-Brown Ages 5 to 8 When Stella’s class decides to have a Mother’s Day party, she wonders whom she will invite. Daddy reads her bedtime stories, Papa packs her lunch, and both give kisses when she’s hurt, so why is she feeling so worried? On the day of the party, Stella makes a bold decision proving that many people in a child’s life can play a loving central role. $19.42

In Our Mothers’ House by Patricia Polacco Ages 5 to 7 Meema and Marmee live with their three adopted children in a big old house where they dance, build a tree house and read bedtime stories. When the mothers have a confrontation with a narrow-minded neighbour, the street rallies around to show its support. Told from the perspective of the kids, this warm and wonderful story depicts a multicultural family where each member is nurtured and loved. $19.30

The Zero Dads Club by Angel Adeyoha; illustrated by Aubrey Williams Ages 4 to 8 Kids can see themselves and their own families reflected in the books produced by Toronto-based micropress Flamingo Rampant. In The Zero Dads Club, Akilah and Kai’s Grade 1 class is tasked with making a craft for Father’s Day. Instead of opting out, the duo decides to form a club for kids, like themselves, who don’t have a father in their life.

Each child makes their own beautiful card that fetes the Mammas, Babas, Abuelas and Tias who lovingly take care of them. $15.95

M is for Mustache: A Pride ABC Book by Catherine Hernandez; illustrated by Marisa Firebaugh Ages 4 to 8 From A for Ally: “speaking up for people who need someone on their side,” to Z for zzzz: “the sound I make after mama and I end our long march,” M is for Mustache is told from the perspective of a girl experiencing Toronto Pride Day with her larger-than-life family.

Inspired by the author’s own daughter, the book celebrates being who you are and not being afraid. $15.95

MARIANNE WISENTHAL is a Toronto-based writer and content strategist. When she’s not wrangling words with aplomb you can find her singing show tunes with her community choir.

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OP I N I O N

The Gay Guide Has Spoken Matthew Dempsey talks gay friending and how to be a happy homo

By Jumol Royes

L.A.-based psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey isn’t a morning person, but he’s no slacker either. In his private practice, he works with clients in the LGBTQ community—primarily gay men—conducting sessions both in person and online. He practises mindfulness, keeps a gratitude journal and regularly hits the gym. And yet he still finds time to post inspirational quotes on Instagram and tackle important issues of the day via his YouTube channel.

IN chatted with Dempsey, who was recently crowned the “hottest psychotherapist on the block” by Instinctmagazine.com, about gay friending and how to be a happy homo.

How would you best describe what you do?

I think the easiest way to describe it is talk therapy. People come in with whatever issues they’re struggling with or ways they feel stuck, and I just help them process and understand things in a way that can hopefully be helpful for them so they can feel better and have more of the life that they’re looking for.

May / June 2018

Your YouTube video, The Art of Gay Friending, highlights the challenges people who identify as LGBTQ, specifically gay men, face in finding and sustaining healthy friendships. How do we attract good friends and become a good friend to other people?

I would say it’s very much like Gandhi: be the change you want to see. If you want to attract people who are really positive, openhearted and loving, it means having to practise those things yourself. It can be really hard if you’re looking around and you don’t see many examples of that, especially as gay men or generally in the LGBTQ community, so it’s hard to know exactly what that looks like and how to do it. My suggestion: look inward and see

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what ways you might be able to promote your own positivity and then that naturally has a ripple effect. It’s the law of attraction; you start attracting people who are likeminded and share similar values.

You say that as gay people, we need second families. What does that mean?

If we’re incredibly fortunate, we have a biological family that overwhelmingly loves and supports who we are, and that’s best-case scenario. As we know, that doesn’t happen for everybody.

But regardless of where we fall, even if we have the most supportive and loving people within our families, there’s still the experience of having to come out and identify as gay or as part of the queer community, and that’s an experience the majority of our families don’t understand or know how to relate to. That’s why it’s really important when we make friends within our community that they become this second family, because they’re people who do understand that part of us and can help guide us. As close as I am with my mom, she’s not taking me to my first bathhouse! And if we have shitty, unaccepting, ignorant biological families, we definitely need the support of the community and to be able to connect with people, because family is a natural thing we all need so if we don’t have it anymore, we absolutely need to find it someplace else.

Let’s talk about your latest video: 5 Ways to Be a Happy Homo.

What gets in the way of us being happy?

When you grow up in a world that doesn’t immediately validate who you are as a gay or queer person, there’s no way that’s not going to negatively influence how you see yourself, feel about yourself and move through the world. The biggest hurdle for us to overcome, post coming out, is how to dig deeper and find the

ways that shame still exists, and uncover that and start challenging that. And then that’s how we eventually can find greater happiness, when we’re investing in ourselves more authentically and in a more meaningful way.

you’re doing that and you get goosebumps just thinking about the thing, or you get excited, you get charged and you invest time into that thing, then you’re reinforcing to yourself that the things I care about, matter. Ergo, I matter. That’s why it’s really important.

One of your keys to being happy is play. Why is it important to connect with the things that make us light up?

It’s so important because when we find that thing that does make us light up, and we’re not even paying attention to time anymore and we’re just having fun doing it, that’s self-expression. And when

You love a good quote—your Instagram is full of them—so what’s your favourite?

One of the ones I spout out the most, and I’m just stealing it from Oprah who’s stealing it from Maya Angelou, is: when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

JUMOL ROYES is IN’s Marketing and Sponsorship Manager and a Toronto-based PR and communications strategist with a keen interest in personal development and transformation. Follow him on Twitter @Jumol.

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COV E R

The Two Sides Of Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman UnReal’s breakout star on reality TV, playing gay characters and following his instincts

May / June 2018

By Erica Cupido

Speaking with Canadian actor Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman is like a You begin every episode of your podcast by asking your guest, spiritual lesson and motivational seminar all in one. Throughout ‘Who are you?’ So let’s start there. our conversation, the star of Lifetime Canada’s UnReal, 33, seems I am becoming more and more of myself with each passing day. But to be just as driven to find roles that resonate with him, as he is who am I? I feel like such a jerk now for putting all of my guests confident that the right opportunities will come his way. Growing on the spot! I’m a human being trying to figure it out, trying to up in the small town of Rimbey, Alta., where he would frequently navigate my way through this world in the best way I know how, perform for his family, Bowyer-Chapman recalls, “[They] would tell and learning lessons along the way. me, ‘We’re going to send you to Hollywood.’ I figured if it was a place filled with other little weirdos like me, then I belonged there.” When did you realize that acting could align with activism, or provide opportunities to talk about things that matter to you?

They certainly had the right instinct. Today, Bowyer-Chapman is There wasn’t a moment of realization. It was a slow, steady based in L.A., has been described as one of Canada’s top rising stars progression. People thought it was interesting or different that I

by The Hollywood Reporter, and has worked alongside Constance was an openly gay man playing queer characters. It’s just who I am Zimmer, Robert DeNiro and Zac Efron. For three seasons, we’ve and the types of stories that I’m drawn to. As people have become watched him play ambitious producer Jay on UnReal, the dark, more interested in the work that I’m doing, there have been Emmy-nominated drama about a reality TV dating show called more opportunities to talk about my own views, perspective and Everlasting. Its latest season changed the formula by featuring a the LGBTQ community. Some people call that activism and I will female ‘suitress’ and her 25 potential matches, who also provided gladly wear that title.

Jay with romantic options of his own. With a fourth season already wrapped, he says that seeing the show return to its feminist roots Were you always explicit about wanting to play gay characters? in the third season has made him fall in love with his day job all I didn’t come out to my agent or my family. They’ve always over again. known that I’m gay. I was 21 years old when I did my first movie, so from that point forward I was very clear about the types of When he’s not on set, Bowyer-Chapman has appeared as a guest characters I wanted to play, and the types of projects I wanted to judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race and RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars. align myself with.

He also launched his own podcast this year—JBC Presents: Conversations with Others—on which he chats about the experience Was it challenging to find roles that you connected with early of otherness with friends like Janet Mock, Aubrey Plaza, Jussie in your career?

Smollett and more. With the smooth-voiced actor as host, their It was 2005, 2006, and there was far less content being created discussions often turn to intentions, self-care and how his guests for the LGBTQ community. When I would say that I wanted to have learned to embrace their individuality. play gay characters, it seemed like a pretty lofty goal. But it was something that was important to me. It took many years for me Whether we’re talking about his podcast or his early experiences to surround myself with a group of people who not only saw my as a budding model-turned-actor, there seems to be a recurring vision, but shared it, supported it and helped clear a path for me to theme throughout our conversation. Bowyer-Chapman sums it live my life and do my job in a way that felt right for me. up when asked whether there’s a philosophy behind his Instagram of all things (prompted by the fact that he seems to be positively Was it difficult for you to set that precedent with your team beaming in every single shot). “Spread love, it’s the Brooklyn way!” as a young actor? he says. “There’s no real intention, other than the same one behind For the most part, I feel that it’s more painful to hold in my thoughts, the podcast—to celebrate yourself and spread a message of love.” opinions and emotions than to just share them with the world. But I Spoken like a true spiritual guru. also have to recognize that there is courage in being honest, because

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Photo: Leonardo Corredor

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Photos: Russ Lamoureux

you put yourself in a position where you will be criticized, judged or disagreed with. That’s a vulnerable place to be in. So far, the only regrets I have had are when I’ve had instincts that I didn’t follow.

May / June 2018

Let’s talk about UnReal. Your character, Jay, was initially a womanizer before the creators rewrote him as a gay man. Having played the original version, how did you feel when they told you he was being rewritten with you in mind?

I was beyond emotional. I was in my apartment in Brooklyn when [executive producer] Marti Noxon called me and told me that she wanted to rewrite the character after me and make him an openly gay character. To have her accept and value who I am as a human being enough to shape a character around me, was just an extraordinary dream come true. It was validation for me to continue following my instincts, because that is what led me to be myself behind the scenes.

We saw Jay finally have opportunities to hook up in Season 3, since the season revolved around Everlasting’s first ‘suitress’ and her 25 male contestants. Were you happy to delve into that side of your character?

I felt that it was necessary to explore that part of Jay’s life. As a fully fleshed out human being, he’s of course going to be having romance, love and sex. To edit that out wouldn’t have made sense.

Having so many men on the show, it made sense that Jay would be able to explore his sexuality and do it in a way that [worked] for the story.

We also got to see him trying to get his own show off the ground. He pitches series that would encourage the audience to 26

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reevaluate their ideas about gender and expression. Do you think that’s lacking in reality TV? You know, I think that [his ideas] exist on different platforms, and elements of them exist on different shows, but not combined together as a celebration of otherness in a way that he wants it represented. I think the show could be about gay culture, Black culture, queer culture, dance culture, and combine all of those things in a way that makes it palatable, educational and entertaining along the way.

The show films in Vancouver, but you now call L.A. home. Is it strange to be a Canadian in the US right now?

I think it’s always been strange to be a Canadian living in the US. The countries are geographically so close but couldn’t be more different politically, historically different. The very foundation on which this country was built is that of the violence and oppression of slavery. That just isn’t the case with Canada. I feel like so much of the energy that [the US] was founded with has seeped into the culture when it comes to patriarchy, misogyny, racism, homophobia and class systems. It’s something that I’m aware of on a daily basis. It makes me very blessed to know that I can always call Canada home—and I can always come back.

Do you think Canadians still have a lot of work to do in terms of advocating on behalf of the LGBTQ community?

I do. I think there’s a level of complacency in Canada that exists around LGBTQ rights. I think there are many strides to be made socially and culturally. Conversations are not really had in smaller communities around queerness and gayness. There needs to be an education put in place for people who may not have access or

exposure to queer culture. Lack of exposure leads to ignorance, and ignorance leads to no good.

Let’s shift gears to talk about your time as a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. What’s something we don’t know about the way the judging panel works?

That it is a long day of shooting. Those queens are up on that stage for up to six hours in full makeup and full wardrobe! I give it up to them for that. If you can stand in heels for six hours and still look that gorgeous—you’re doing something right.

How did RuPaul help get your podcast, Conversations with Others, started?

Well, RuPaul’s What’s the Tee? is one of my favourite podcasts.

I just love the level of spirituality, comedy, irreverence and deep, soulful conversation that happens over the course of every episode. After recording my first episode of What’s the Tee?, the producers pulled me aside and asked me if I wanted to do my own show. I just had to figure out the type of show I like listening to. I came back to them and presented them with Conversations with Others.

What does otherness mean to you?

The very definition of otherness is any of those who fall outside the status quo. Essentially straight, white men are the status quo and everybody else falls outside of it. To have the opportunity to have discussions with people whose stories aren’t necessarily told, and to celebrate the things about them that make them others, is the greatest blessing and most beautiful opportunity.

I love having those conversations.

Were there any episodes that were especially enlightening for you?

The one episode I did with someone who isn’t a celebrity was one of my favourites. Sharon Pink is one of my best friends. She is a queer social worker, counsellor and witch. She’s amazing. She practises witchcraft, reads tarot cards and is a really beautiful, spiritual Earth child. She’s also a huge advocate and representative in the queer community. She works with sex workers in Vancouver and is a counsellor for women who have experienced sexual trauma. She inspired me to be me.

When did you first become friends?

I met her when I was in my late teens, early 20s, and she brought me to my first drag king show and my first drag queen show. She really destigmatized a lot of issues around sexuality, queerness and the LGBTQ community that had been said to me for so many years. She really broadened my perspective in many ways. I wouldn’t be who I am if it weren’t for her.

You’ve already wrapped filming on Unreal’s forthcoming fourth season, and have finished recording the first season of your podcast. What’s next?

I guess we will see! I’m going to take a minute to get back to myself and go on a European vacation this summer with my partner, Andrew [celebrity hairstylist Andrew Fitzsimons]. I am, at this point, not willing to throw everything against the wall and see what sticks. I’m very intentional in the moves that I make in my personal and professional life. Whatever it is that vibes with my frequency next, will be whatever that is.

ERICA CUPIDO is a pop culture-obsessed freelance writer and editor based in Toronto. Her work has appeared in Flare, Hello! Canada and more. Find out what she’s watching, reading and listening to by following @ericacupido_ on social media.

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film

Groundbreaking Love, Simon is a Landmark Teen Classic The first mainstream teen romantic comedy to feature a gay lead character

By Steven Bereznai

May / June 2018

Photos: Fox 2000 Pictures / Temple Hill Productions

The new coming of age/coming out flick Love, Simon is being hailed as “groundbreaking.” It’s a rare descriptor for a romantic comedy—as confirmed by a Google search. Love, Simon shares the mantle with Obvious Child (2014), which, against the odds, successfully pairs hilarity, casual sex and abortion.

doesn’t reciprocate, overshares from parents and school officials (including the hilarious vice principal, played by Tony Hale, who laments his Tindr dating fails), and a series of comedic near misses as Simon tries to figure out who is on the other end of the faceless online exchange.

So what makes Love, Simon earn such praise? I’ve been watching coming out movies since before I came out, ranging from depressing (yet beautiful) subtitled French films seen in sticky repertoire cinemas to the UK’s cheeky Beautiful Thing, Canada’s stunning Lilies and, more recently, sassy G.B.F. and heart-wrenching Oscar winner Moonlight. All touched me in different ways; some inspired me to touch myself.

Viewers of Will and Grace, Glee, and one of my all-time favourite young adult coming out story arcs on Ugly Betty will have seen small-screen variations on the Love, Simon treatment.

Yet Love, Simon stands, not above, but apart from these and other examples of young adult coming out tales, including fellow LGBTQ romantic comedies. Based on the novel Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda, Love, Simon is the story of closeted 17-year-old Simon Spier, a teen who believes that “everyone deserves a great love story”—including him.

He gets his chance when a schoolmate comes out anonymously online, and they begin a clandestine email correspondence. As Simon becomes more invested in this mystery man, gay takes on traditional romantic comedy ensue: best friend girl crushes that he 28

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But, despite narrative precedent, Love, Simon stands out. It’s the first gay teen movie to be produced by a major film studio (20th Century Fox), and it has a relatively wide release (2,400 theatres in the US) and a sizable budget (US$17 million). It’s directed by the openly gay Greg Berlanti, who has brought TV viewers a range of LGBTQ storylines as a producer of Riverdale, Arrow and Dawson’s Creek.

Berlanti’s big screen oeuvre is definitely finding its audience. I saw Love, Simon a few weeks after it came out. The theatre was three-quarters full—not bad for a Wednesday night—with a smattering of gay men and a large contingent of women. As one woman left, she declared, “That was awesome.”

Love, Simon is also striking a chord among stars, from openly gay

actors like Matt Bomer and Neil Patrick Harris to New Orlando City midfielder Sacha Kljestan and his wife, Jamie Lee Darley.

They all loved it so much, they bought out theatres to make the film more available to people who might not otherwise be able to see it.

Some might not immediately understand what the fuss is about.

In Love, Simon, Berlanti may nudge boundaries, but he doesn’t push them, not the way LGBTQ directors like Gregg Araki have done—see his “Teen Apocalypse Trilogy” or Mysterious Skin (fun fact: Araki directed the oh-so-magnificent ‘The Wrestler’ episode in this season of Riverdale).

enough to drive). But, like Riverdale’s gay character Kevin Keller, Simon is an easy-to-take introduction to gay teen tribulations for mainstream audiences.

Weirdly, that is what makes Love, Simon groundbreaking. It’s funny, it’s awkward, and, with a few tweaks, Simon, played by Nick Robinson, could be Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed.

In fact, odes to ’90s rom coms abound. I’m reminded of how I felt when I saw raunch com Not Another Gay Movie, thinking, “Finally, a version of American Pie for people like me.”

Love, Simon mentions Grindr (Simon’s dad offers to join in solidarity because he thinks it’s the gay version of Facebook), but the movie avoids the messiness (literal and figurative) of where a hookup app can lead; a moment of teen bullying is quickly quashed by the lesbian drama teacher; and, while Simon’s friends turn on him, it’s not because he’s gay—it’s because he was selfishly messing with their dating lives.

Love, Simon proves itself by pulling at heartstrings in a way that reminded me of what it was like to be in the closet, the ache of crushes and first love, and the awkwardness of coming out—without the triggers of suicidal motifs, fear of bashings, or seeing parents kicking their queer kid out of their home. As much as movies like Araki’s road trip, HIV bender The Living End blew my mind when I first came out, there was something refreshing about Love, Simon’s light touch.

There is a downside to a movie that’s so safe and sanitary. The title character is not as universally representative as he seems to think (Simon declares himself to be like everyone else, but many people won’t relate to the suburb of mini-mansions he calls home nor his parents handing him the keys to his own car when he’s old

The result is a thoroughly entertaining addition to the world of gay films, one that’s reportedly inspiring teens to come out while the movie’s still playing (the more thoughtful moviegoers are waiting until the credits roll). It almost makes me wish I could go back in the closet so I could come out again.

Steven Bereznai is the award-winning, bestselling author of the young adult dystopian novel I Want Superpowers and the gay teen superhero series Queeroes.

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I D A H OT

Embrace Diversity This International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia Taking the fight against intolerance one day at a time

By Courtney Hardwick

There’s no denying that acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals has improved in the past couple of decades. Many countries have legalized same-sex marriage, there are more out celebrities and athletes setting a good example, and businesses and the media are changing their polices in order to be more inclusive. That being said, intolerance, prejudice and discrimination still exist, which is why we still need to bring awareness to all the ways we can do better.

May 17 this year marks the 15th International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, a worldwide celebration of sexual and gender diversities. It was established to help draw the attention of policy makers, opinion leaders, social movements, the media and the public to the violence and discrimination still faced

by LGBTQ+ people all over the world.

May / June 2018

Now celebrated in more than 130 countries, it was originally called the International Day against Homophobia (or IDAHOT) but was expanded in 2009 to include transphobia and in 2015 to include biphobia. The date of May 17 was deliberately chosen to commemorate the World Health Organization’s 1990 decision to stop classifying homosexuality as a mental disorder.

Every year, the day is given a global theme or issue to focus on.

This year, the theme is “Alliances for Solidarity.” Accepting and giving help wherever it is needed is the only way to ensure safety and acceptance for any and all minority groups. According to the IDAHOT board, “This focus should also be a welcome reminder of the need for solidarity within the communities of sexual and

gender minorities, as the rights of one specific group cannot be solidly secured if the rights of other groups are left unchallenged.”

Canada has a reputation for being a country where LGBTQ+ individuals can feel safe and accepted, but there are always opportunities to improve even further. Last year, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau released a statement recognizing IDAHOT, saying, “Everyone deserves to live free of stigma, persecution and discrimination—no matter who they are or whom they love. Today is about ensuring that all people—regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity—feel safe and secure, and empowered to freely express themselves.”

Events in hundreds of countries around the world will take place in recognition of this year’s IDAHOT, interpreting the theme in a way that means the most to them. The goal—with the help of LGBTQ+ individuals and their allies—is to not only bring awareness to the ways discrimination is still affecting the lives of thousands of people, but also expose the ways our society is supporting that discrimination.

Understanding where we’re going wrong is the first step towards making acceptance not just an ideal that is expected of us, but something we do naturally. The goal is for every gender and sexual identity to be “the norm,” and that means everyone standing together to support each other. Maybe there will always be people who don’t accept anything but binary representations of gender and sexual orientation, but the least we can do is work towards making them the minority.

COURTNEY HARDWICK is a Toronto-based freelance writer. Her work has appeared online at AmongMen, Complex Canada, Elle Canada and TheBolde.

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I N T E RV I E W

Instagram Phenom Luke Austin Photographer Luke Austin talks Instagram, intimacy and his explorations of bodies, race and identity

By Christian Dare

Many people like to complain that Instagram has become a social media platform filled with bought followers and people thirsty for more and more likes. Sure, you could say that Instagram has led to more gay men indulging in some sort of shirtless-selfies narcissism.

And you could say that it contributes to more LGBTQ people feeling the pressure to fit within some mainstream aesthetic of the ideal body. But the promise of Instragram, an open ‘democratic’ platform, allows for many artists to gain exposure and fans. Artists (and their communities) that are often underrepresented within the mainstream art industry can flourish on the app. Further, it allows those of us who feel we aren’t shown within mainstream representation to finally see ourselves. This is the realm in which photographer Luke Austin operates.

Austin started out as a photographer shooting bands and musicians before his work turned more inward with portraits (and a few self-portraits) representing his own community. And he gained traction, and his subjects, through the social media platform. He has travelled the globe finding and shooting his subjects (and often crashing at their pads) thanks to the app. But his work quickly turned into more than beautiful images of gay men. He has gone from simply being a photographer with a large Instagram following to a published photographer exploring notions of identities. His latest book, LEWA, is an exploration of masculinity, race and sexuality through photographs.

now than it was eight years ago. In the beginning it felt like it was for creatives, the community felt small and the feedback was great.

Now it’s more orientated towards marketing yourself and creating yourself as a brand. Self-portraits are the most popular content.

When I post my portraiture work they feel overlooked, and as an artist it’s sometimes tough to see work you love not received very well. You start to think it’s not good and I think that was pushing me to make work that I knew would be liked on Instagram, and that’s just crazy. So I haven’t been posting new work on the app, allowing me to work on it without checking ‘likes.’

You shot over 100 men in different cities all over the world in a few short months—which is a feat in itself. But how do you manage to capture such intimacy with people you have just met?

My favourite feedback about my portraits is about the light and the intimacy, so thank you. But in saying that, I’m not sure how it happens, ’cause sometimes a shoot is as quick as half an hour with a complete stranger. I guess I like to make them feel as comfortable as possible.

And the fact that most of the models are in their bedrooms is straight

We sat down with Austin to learn about him and his process.

How did you get into photography?

I began creating work with a ‘professional’ camera in 2004. I won a competition in Rolling Stone magazine to win an AAA photo pass to Big Day Out [Australia’s Coachella]. So I got myself a Canon SLR and shot all the bands from the side of the stage, which was amazing. I then continued shooting bands, musicians, music festivals and shows. I wanted to be a top music photographer in Sydney but after a couple of years I began taking portraits of my friends and now my focus is portraiture.

Many of your models are just people you have met though Instagram. What made you decide to use Instagram? How does being an ‘Instagram Star’ inform your work?

In 2010 my best friend in Sydney said to me, ‘Have you seen this new app Instagram? It’s kinda like Facebook but JUST images.’ And I remember thinking that’s ridiculous, we already have MySpace, Facebook and Flickr, and I don’t need any more social media. Cut to eight years later and it’s a force to be reckoned with ha. I’ve actually been struggling with using it for the past year. It’s a different app Photos: Luke Austin

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up intimacy. I love images of men lounging in chairs, lying back on beds etc.… So I just try to capture an intimate connection in that setting. We chat, I watch the model’s mannerisms and I grab an in-between moment when they aren’t ‘thinking’ too much.

May / June 2018

Are people as open to sharing their spaces as studios as they are posing for you?

Most of the time, yes. I often get ‘no, my place is awful,’ but we shoot there and we get some great portraits. People feel comfortable in their own spaces. I also love the challenge ’cause I never know what lighting situation I’m going to get. I also shoot at my apartment if people would rather that.

I am sure many people draw parallels between you and Robert Mapplethorpe, but I see a lot of Nan Goldin and some hints of Cindy Sherman in your work. But who really inspires you and your work?

I think the Mapplethorpe one is too easy and not really thought about. It’s because of the latest book (LEWA). So we are both white men who released a book of photos of Black men, but I think that’s where the similarities end. I’ve always loved David Armstrong, Paul Jasmin, Peter Hujar and early Annie Leibovitz work.

What made you decide to tackle issues around race and masculinity and queerness?

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I really don’t think about it when choosing men to photograph. I’ve always just taken portraits of the men around me and no matter what their shape or size. I shoot in a gentle, sometimes feminine way, and 98 per cent of the time they’re gay men. I guess it became a ‘thing’ when I started to notice that the people of colour weren’t getting the same ‘likes’ as the white guys on my Instagram. I think without really thinking about it too much, that pushed me to photograph more p.o.c. [people of colour], to the point now where I rarely photograph white men. There are already plenty of accounts on Instagram that feature ONLY white men.

I am particularly drawn to your explorations of the self through your self-portraits. What made you decide to include yourself as subject and not simply photographer?

I really like taking self-portraits. Usually it’s to express how I’m feeling at a certain point. Or I came across a beautiful location and had no model to shoot there, so I put myself in the shot. Most of the time I cover my face because it’s more about just having a human element in the photo as a shape and a point of interest or something for the light to play with as opposed to me creating a mood with facial expressions.

In the mini book Femme, you play with notions around gender and performance via a wig. What made you decide to play around with ‘feminine’ objects like a wig?

I think gay men love a ‘girl hair moment’ and it was interesting for me to play around with photographing these men as themselves but with big, stylized, typically girl hair. Would they sit differently?

Would anything change? I had some of the men put on a skirt.

What was really interesting is that book was the least popular, by far. I think we are comfortable looking at drag queens who do the full look, but men with just the hair was a problem.

The ‘gay’ world seems to be fascinated with ideal bodies but you seem to purposely try to showcase other versions of ‘ideal’ bodies. Was that intentional or simply haphazard?

Not intentional. I think about what I was doing back in 2007 in Sydney and I remember wanting to photograph muscles because I didn’t have them and was always drawn to that. I also think it’s too easy to photograph bodies that are stereotypically perfect and muscular. Whether it’s good or bad photography, gay men love a photo of a cut muscular dude with abs. As I have progressed and my work has changed, I focus more on the face and care less about what the body is doing.

I photograph a lot of really skinny men, average bodies, gym worked, and up to body builder-type muscles. But I don’t pick men based on their bodies. Also, I think a lot of people think I only photograph ‘ideal bodies’ ’cause I’m good at capturing each model in their best light. So if you quickly flick through my Instagram it looks like everyone has the ideal body, but there is actually a great range there.

When you started shooting men, did you think your work would evolve into explorations of bodies, race and identity?

Nope. Not at all. It was just a hobby really, and capturing my friends if they’d let me. Honestly, I’m still not really sure what I’m doing.

I’ve spent a lot of the last year reflecting on my work, what I’m making, and why I’m making it. I think the last 10 years went by so fast and it got to this point where I’m like ‘okay, so you’re taking these beautiful portraits of queer men, but why?’ None of the new stuff is on Instagram but that’s what I’m exploring now.

So what’s next?

Now that LEWA is done and out, I can get back into finishing Mini Beau Book 10. It will be the final book in the series and it will be portraits of trans men. I think trans men are underrepresented, especially in the gay world that focuses so much on passing trans women, so it’s been great meeting and taking portraits of these men. And just continuing to explore my own personal portraiture work, which hopefully will end up as a show of some sort at my gallery here in Los Angeles.

You can check out more work by Austin at www.lukeaustinphoto.com, or, if you aren’t already, you can follow Austin on Instagram @lukeaustinphoto.

CHRISTIAN DARE is a freelance writer who spends his time between Toronto and New Orleans. He writes for numerous publications and is known for his writings on pop culture, lifestyle and design. He occasionally appears on daytime TV when not hunting for a great pair of shoes or design piece.

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Big Ben Beats Is Toronto ready for a serious dose of music and muscles?

By Mathieu Chantelois

DJ Ben Bakson is taking over the world. But don’t let his good looks fool you—his music does all the heavy lifting. Catch up with this Berlin DJ before his big Canadian debut at the 10th anniversary of Toronto Pride’s legendary outdoor TreeHouse Party.

TreeHouse will be your first gig in Canada. How are you feeling?

A debut is always something very special. I have met many great people from Canada while playing in parties around the world, and I am happy to visit a few of them in Toronto this summer.

Therefore, excitement seems to be the right word.

I’m very happy to be introduced to the Canadian scene via one of the largest parties in Toronto, one that gathers thousands of people to party for a good cause. I have been told that Barbara Hall Park transforms into a true magical forest, and I am looking forward to experiencing this vibe.

What does Pride mean to you in 2018?

Gay rights have positively evolved and I am truly enjoying my life being openly gay. Unfortunately, that is not the case for everybody, and there is still a lot of injustice and unfair laws. In 2018, we need to focus on full equality; there is still work to be done.

What are you proud of?

I started professional DJing more than a year ago, so I am one of the newest faces on the scene. Nevertheless, I am already headlining big events in the USA, Brazil and Asia, and in many cities in Europe.

What makes me proud is not only my success in such a short period of time, but it’s also the direct feedback I get from my fans. I love the direct exchange with all of them and am really flattered about the great positive feedback I receive. Making many people happy on the dance floor, giving them motivation in the gym, or a great time at a house party…that makes me feel proud.

What should your new Canadian fans know about you?

I would describe myself as a very positive, happy, trustful, loving and open-minded person, who lives his life to the fullest.

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‘You only live once’ is my motto. I love to travel as much as possible; I love to meet new people around the globe. Those experiences enrich my life very much and I am very thankful for the opportunity I have to live exactly the way I want to live my life.

Who are your biggest musical influences?

I have very talented colleagues I really admire, be it for their productions, their great musical taste or their technical skills. I love the way Dan Slater projects his positive energy onto the dance floor, like a big ball of sunshine filled with great music. Phil Romano’s music and mixing technique are always just on-point and amazing. The incredible Brazilian DJs, Allan Natal with his amazing productions, and Anne Louise whose sets are full of beats that just 34

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never stop! There are, of course, many other talented DJs in the world who I like and admire, but those four come first to my mind.

The lineup for TreeHouse is also very inspiring: Isaac Escalante, GSP, Hector Romero and Angel Moraes. I can’t think of a better mix to create the ultimate day party.

What makes an event a great party?

First, the music! The selection, the mixing, and the communication with the dance floor. If the DJ does not feel the crowd, the party will for sure not be great. He has to feel the crowd and adapt his sound to the vibe spontaneously.

Second, the venue. So many things to consider: the location, the right temperature on the dance floor, the bar service, the toilets, the lights. All these factors have to be on-point for a perfect experience.

If any of those does not work, it can turn a great party into a bad one. If you have to queue one hour to go to the bathroom, even the best DJ won’t make you happy.

And finally, the crowd. When you gather the right people, you can create a good party easily.

Do you think being a good-looking DJ is an advantage? Or a curse?

Both! When I announced that I would start DJing professionally, a lot of people did not take it seriously. Some even said I only got my gigs because of my looks. I have the trust of some major party producers and have an important and growing number of fans.

Those serious producers are not booking a DJ for their looks, but because of the high quality of the music.

How do you want to make people feel on the dance floor?

I want the crowd to smile, laugh, enjoy time with their friends and sing along to the songs they love. I want to bring them to ecstasy through my music and make them enjoy the moment to its fullest.

Toronto Pride’s TreeHouse Party, in support of The 519 Church Street Community Centre, takes place on Sunday, June 24, from 1 pm until midnight at Barbara Hall Park. Free entrance.

sh o p p ing

Ladies, Show Your Pride: “The Betty G” Shoe Make a statement with Pride-inspired shoes

Pride month is almost upon us so it’s time to pull your rainbow gear out of the closet, slip it on and get ready to make a fierce summer fashion statement.

Inspired by LGBTQ communities around the world, Canada’s Browns Shoes has released these Pride-inspired shoes that will serve as reminders that the fight for tolerance, diversity and equality is ongoing.

Browns’ rainbow-inspired women’s shoe is called the Betty G and it’s from one of the brand’s most beloved exclusive collections, The Wishbone Collection. Accompanying the shoe is an interchangeable handbag bag strap. The guitar-inspired rainbow strap adds more than a little pizzazz to an everyday bag.

“Browns is a proud supporter of the LGBTQ community today, every day and always,” says Julia Brownstein, Senior Buyer–Women with Browns Shoes.

The Pride-inspired Betty G shoes for women ($198) are available now at select Browns stores across the country and at BrownsShoes.com. The rainbow handbag strap ($35) will be available mid-May at select Browns stores across Canada and at BrownsShoes.com.

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ISLAND ZEN

This season, update your wardrobe with chic, island-inspired summer essentials

May / June 2018

Photography: Herson Nebaya Styling: Arjie Salongo Models: Tanya V. & Marko

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Button down shirt: R. Laurel

Button down shirt: Chloe Pants: R. Laurel Boots: Balenciaga

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FASHION May / June 2018

Blazer and pants: R. Laurel Shoes: Dr. Martens 38

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On Marko: Blazer and pants: R. Laurel On Tanya: Top and skirt pants: R. Laurel Boots: Balenciaga 39

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May / June 2018

FASHION

Fashi o n Sweater: Ralph Lauren Pants: Dolce & Gabbana On Tanya: Dress: R. Laurel Boots: Balenciaga On Marko: Crop top and pants: R. Laurel

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May / June 2018

On Tanya: Dress: R. Laurel Cuffs: Jun Ablaza On Marko: Button down shirt and pants: R. Laurel

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FASHION

Top and skirt pants: R. Laurel Boots: Balenciaga

Top and skirt pants: R. Laurel Boots: Balenciaga

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I nsigh t

A Brave Warrior Of The Heart Love, Scott is the true story of Scott Jones, a gay man who was left paralyzed after a homophobic attack

By Paul Gallant

Nobody, but nobody, wants to be the “gay man” in a newspaper headline when the sentence ends “left paralyzed in vicious New Glasgow attack.”

to, Jones does not follow the traditional victims’ script. He has already publicly forgiven his attacker, and in the documentary—a tender, poetic and life-affirming piece of work—he talks about wanting to open a conversation with him. These are the kinds of tendencies, whether instinctual or hard-won, which cause real change to happen in our world.

“I don’t want people to pity me or look at my disability as something to be pitied,” says Jones. He grew up in B.C. until his family moved to rural Nova Scotia when he was 10. “I’ve been picked on so much throughout my childhood and high school years, I was just always on guard.”

I have started with the horrible factual details of this crime—which conjure a grim and fear-inducing possibility for any LGBT person, even in this day and age—in order to more quickly direct your attention to Jones himself, a sparkling marvel of resilience and compassion. The subject of the documentary Love, Scott, which debuted this spring at BFI Flare: London LGBT Film Festival and which will screen at this year’s Inside Out film fest in Toron-

While the doc was still being made, Jones moved to Toronto and is currently finishing up a master’s in music education, which he’ll follow up with a Ph.D. Jones actually met filmmaker Laura Marie Wayne when they were both music students at Mount Allison University in Sackville, New Brunswick. They both studied piano and became close friends, staying up late baring their souls to each other. Their emotionally supportive and philosophical

May / June 2018

But that is the situation that musician Scott Jones found thrust upon him one October night back in 2013 when, out celebrating the opening of a friend’s new art studio, he was stabbed in the back, slashed in the throat and left for dead on a street outside a nightclub in Pictou County, Nova Scotia. The stabbing severed Jones’ spinal cord, leaving him a paraplegic. The attacker, who was 19 at the time, is currently serving a 10-year sentence after pleading guilty to attempted murder.

Scott Jones directing a performance by VOX: A Choir for Social Change

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relationship would become key to Jones’ recovery and to enriching the documentary itself. “You can see in the film our ability to go deep really quickly with certain things,” says Jones.

Wayne flew to Jones’ side days after the attack, camera in hand. “It was a gut response,” Wayne tells me. “Some part of me just knew to bring my camera, even though, at that time, we didn’t know we were going to make this film. But I knew the camera was important.

I knew there was an opportunity for some kind of justice through the camera. I also knew it would be a way for healing. Somehow, when we had the camera, he got to be the ultimate authority of the story.”

Over the course of three and a half years, Wayne, who is now living in Costa Rica, spent time with Jones and his family, listening to him and being with him as he rebuilt his life.

“She slept in my bed,” laughs Jones. “It was a wonderful organic process that was an extension of our friendship. I think of it now with such fondness because Laura and this film allowed me to process some hard, painful emotions associated with this attack. I knew, even if it was painful, I would come out of it with a deeper understanding.” Ever the optimist, Jones also saw it as a way to spend more time with a friend he considers to be “a slippery fish, always slipping through my fingers.”

Although the documentary follows Jones’ very singular experiences, it’s structured as an essay by Wayne, which wasn’t the original plan.

But by doing so, the filmmaker was able to tie Jones’ story to a larger one about the criminal justice system. The film is certainly more personal than political, but it’s critical of the reluctance to declare the crime a hate crime. Since 1996, sexual orientation has been on a list of categories where a judge can sentence more

harshly if a crime has been motivated by hate towards a group. But it’s been invoked in only a handful of cases.

“It’s not only the court systems that are failing, it’s at the level of policing,” says Wayne. In Jones’ case, the question of homophobia just wasn’t important to the police. “What was important was that they had someone, they had a confession,” says Wayne. “This part about why he was targeted—they didn’t have the right questions.

That wasn’t a priority for them.” Yet that larger question of motivation is the one that puts the onus for such crimes on a homophobic society, which must work collectively to cure itself, rather than merely on an individual’s spontaneous action. (For his part, at the sentencing, the attacker told Jones: “I’m sorry I put you in that chair. I don’t know why I did it. I’m sorry.”)

Music is obviously an enormously large part of Jones’ life, and of the documentary itself, which features a soundtrack by the Icelandic band Sigur Rós, as well as scenes of Jones working with the Halifax-based VOX choir. With a mission to eliminate homophobia and transphobia, the choir grew out of the Don’t Be Afraid campaign, which Jones founded not long after the attack.

Watching the choir sing a version of Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work,” it’s a real struggle not to tear up. During our chat, Wayne asks Jones to sing me a few lines of the song and he does so in a heartbeat: “I know you’ve got a little life in you yet / I know you’ve got a lot of strength left.” But it doesn’t make me want to cry. It makes me want to hear more.

The Inside Out LGBT Film Festival runs from May 24 to June 3. Check out www.insideout.ca after May 4 for screening times and tickets.

PAUL GALLANT is a Toronto-based writer and editor who writes about travel, innovation, city building, social issues (particularly LGBT issues) and 45 business for a variety of national and international publications. He’s done time as lead editor at the loop magazine in Vancouver as well as Xtra and fab in Toronto, and is currently executive editor at BOLD magazine.

travel

Tucking Into Singapore

This island country knows that the way to my heart is unequivocally through my stomach

By Doug Wallace

May / June 2018

Normally, I can barely manage to choke down some yogurt for breakfast. Although I live to eat—ask anyone—breakfast is just not my jam. But in Singapore, where it is okay to have ribs for breakfast, floating alongside a head of roast garlic in a creamy pepper broth with rice and croutons, I am in heaven. Apparently, dinner for breakfast I can get right into.

Soya Sauce Chicken Rice & Noodle became the first hawker stall to be awarded a Michelin star. The signature dish goes for just $2.50.

Impress your date with Grandma’s cooking You don’t have to go low-end to get real home cooking; you can find it right on up the food chain, all the way to some of Singapore’s top-rated restaurants.

We had heard that Singapore is a big food town, with a couple of dozen Michelin stars, but we weren’t expecting our pants to be At Alley on 25 at the Andaz Singapore, the street-dining experience too tight to wear home two weeks later. The place is a foodie’s is woven into the hotel’s food and beverage concept with a wet dream—and one big melting pot: the Peranakan community meandering design that mimics the street market. Poking your head comprises people with mixed Chinese/Malaysian/Indonesian around corners reveals small kitchen stations whipping up rice, and heritage, and the culinary diversity mimics this multiculturalism. My noodle-and-meat dishes or charcoal-grilled fare. rib breakfast at Po, the restaurant at the charming The Warehouse Hotel, was just a typical workingman’s start to the day centuries At Wild Rocket, Chef Willin Low—one of the pioneers of this mix ago, but it merely scratched the breakfast surface. Throughout town, of modern and traditional cooking—pulls from the pages of history I abandon the bacon-and-eggs route every morning, devouring and from his own past. “I was a student in England and I missed chwee kueh—steamed rice cakes topped with hot preserved radish food from home,” he says. “I couldn’t find all the ingredients to relish—and chee cheong fun—steamed stuffed rice rolls done up make it, so I mixed and matched. It never looked like Singapore with hoisin sauce. Fun is right! The artisanal street coffee, known food, but when I ate it, it always reminded me of home.” Willin’s as kopi, is beyond good, its beans roasted with sugar and butter. experience parallels that of those from China and India who couldn’t It comes with condensed or evaporated milk and there are about find the ingredients they needed to make their traditional dishes 15 different ways to order it, so you can customize it to your taste when they immigrated, and just had to wing it. for strength and sweetness. One version even has a pat of butter on the bottom.

“When we first opened, everyone was asking us, ‘What’s your cuisine?’

And I said, ‘I just cook what I eat.’ But everyone started calling us No surprise then that we soon begin stretching out the hem of our fusion, which is not wrong—Singaporean food is fusion—but ’80s T-shirts when dressing in the morning, thinking, Uh-oh, shoulda fusion was done so badly, it was confusion,” Willin says. “I didn’t packed the mediums. want to be associated with that, so I said, ‘Well, I’m a modern Singaporean and this is how I eat, so we’ll call the cuisine Modern The homespun comfort-food adventure continues throughout the day, Singaporean.’ We take traditional flavours and serve them on a as we move on to the hawker stalls—neighbourhood food courts different platform and maybe use different ingredients.” with rows of little kiosks selling their own particular specialties: fried rice and fried noodle dishes with chicken or pork, curried fish, We happily work our way through a gado gado salad with spiced curried noodle soup, flatbread with curried dhal, coconut rice, and peanut ice cream, a heavenly beef ravioli with ginger and spring “carrot cake,” which is neither carrot nor cake, but a sort of omelette onion sauce, and red snapper floating in a coconut milk-scented with diced turnip and pickled veg. Singaporeans are spoiled for curry sauce. It is all so sublime. “We were worried people were choice when it comes to this homemade traditional food. No one going to say, ‘What have you done to our traditional food? You’ve needs to cook at home when you can have an incredible meal ruined it,’” Willin says. He needn’t have worried. for three dollars. Case in point: one outlet sells the world’s least expensive Michelin-star meal. In 2016, Hawker Chan’s Hong Kong The culinary magic continues a couple of nights later—on

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Photos: Doug Wallace, Tim Stewart and Darren 47 Soh

travel Valentine’s Day yet—at Candlenut, the world’s first Michelin-starred Peranakan restaurant. Here, Chef Malcolm Lee works an equally successful and similar angle, adding a contemporary twist to traditional cooking. “We want to keep it relevant and interesting, yet still keep that connection to the past, to the essence of Peranakan cooking,” Malcolm says. He looks around at the tables full of Valentines and smiles. “Getting young couples to come here and eat Peranakan food on a special occasion makes me feel good.”

We try a blue swimmer crab curry with turmeric and galangal (a ginger-like root), and a beef rib rendang with spicy fried coconut flakes. I begin to eat slower and slower, not because I’m reaching break-point, but because I want the experience to last as long as possible. We were warned in advance to save room for the black nut ice cream, which comes with a variety of chocolate trimmings. My Valentine practically rolls out of the restaurant in his little bow tie.

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It’s at this point in our culinary journey through Singapore that I notice our dress shirts are button-stretching at the chest. We actually get on the treadmill a couple of mornings, something I have never done in my life. I’m not sure it helped much.

Make every night Chili Crab Night We make a pact to go to the best place in town for chili crab, and the consensus leads us to No Signboard Seafood in the Geylang district. The restaurant’s name harkens back to the early days when the owners couldn’t afford a sign. And then when they could, there was no need: the name stuck and now there are four locations. There’s no fuss here; it’s like one big outdoor patio with plastic chairs, and they are all full. A server brings along big bottles of beers in a cart, and halfway through drinking mine, I find her at my elbow again, this time to transfer our unfinished beer into fresh, frosted mugs.

Such service! When the famous crab comes, we accept bibs and

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dig in. It’s insanely good, but I should have used something bigger than a bib—like a barber cloth—and my trousers have to go in the wash when we get home. (Crab fail.)

With all the amazing food everywhere you look, it’s no wonder Singaporeans have distinct opinions on where to get the best crab or buns or laksa or chicken rice or coffee…or anything. Discussing food is a national pastime, a water-cooler topic hashed through daily. They can even argue about which branch of a supermarket chain is better than its other locations.

The populace also seems to be fascinated with—toast. There’s a toast café on practically every corner serving the renowned kaya toast: toasted sandwiches filled with a thick slice of cold butter and a gooey, sweet layer of kaya jam (a coconut jam made from coconut milk and eggs) plus sugar and pandan leaf. This is then served with a hard-boiled egg. The main purveyor, Ya Kun Kaya Toast, has more than 40 outlets across town. That’s a lot of toast, and you can have it any time of day—whenever you need a toast hug.

Since returning home, I’ve been scouring the international aisle in my local grocery store looking for ingredients I’m seeing in the cookbook I bought while I was away. I’ve also been salivating over Willin’s Instagram account, which is filled with images of his food adventures at home and abroad.

In the end, I didn’t actually balloon up as I had originally thought, with just three extra kilograms to contend with between now and shirts-off season. I think I can handle it.

When You Go February to October is the dry season in Singapore, and November to January is the green season, which sees more rain. Go to VisitSingapore.com and SingaporeAir.com for more info.

DOUG WALLACE is the editor and publisher of travel resource TravelRight.Today.

WORKPLaCeS TO COnSIDeR Celebrating diversity and inclusion in the workplace.

For information on the Workplaces To Consider Program, contact: info@inmagazine.ca in partnership with

LEGAL NOTICE

Were you directly affected by the LGBT Purge in the Canadian Armed Forces, RCMP or Federal Public Service?

A proposed settlement may affect you. Please read this notice carefully.

The Canadian Federal Government and certain current or former members of the Canadian Armed Forces (“CAF”), the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (“RCMP”) and employees of the Federal Public Service (“FPS”) who were affected by the LGBT Purge have reached a proposed settlement of class action lawsuits.

The “LGBT Purge” refers to actions taken by the Federal Government of Canada to identify, investigate, sanction, and in some cases, terminate the employment of or discharge of LGBTQ2 members of the CAF, RCMP or FPS. The class action lawsuits were commenced by Todd Ross, Martine Roy, and Alida Satalic (the “Representative Plaintiffs”). The Federal Government of Canada is called “Canada.”

The proposed settlement must first be approved by the Federal Court before there is any money or benefits available to members of the class.

WHO IS INCLUDED? The proposed settlement provides for certain benefits and compensation to the following individuals (“Class Members”): All current or former members of the CAF, current or former members of the RCMP, and current or former Employees of the FPS, who were alive as of October 31, 2016 and who faced threat of sanction, were investigated, were sanctioned, or who were discharged or released from the CAF or RCMP or terminated from the FPS, or who resigned from the FPS, in connection with the LGBT Purge, by reason of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression between December 1, 1955 and June 20, 1996.

Family members of individuals who are deceased, but who would otherwise fall within one of the above classes, are not Class Members and are not eligible for compensation. They may however, apply for and may be found to be eligible to receive individual recognition measures.

If the settlement is approved, all Class Members except those who validly “Opt Out” of the Settlement will be bound by the proposed settlement, will be covered by the releases in the proposed settlement, and will not have the right to sue Canada for harms caused by the LGBT Purge.

WHAT DOES THE PROPOSED SETTLEMENT PROVIDE? If approved, the settlement provides: (a) Broad based reconciliation and memorialization measures to be funded by Canada in an amount not less than $15 million; (b) Individual reconciliation and recognition measures consisting of (i) an award to be created and called the Canada Pride Citation; and (ii) a personal letter of apology; and (c) Individual Compensation for those who were directly affected by the official policies.

All Class Members are eligible for individual reconciliation and recognition measures.

Only those Class Members who establish that they were investigated, sanctioned, discharged or terminated, are eligible to claim Individual Compensation. The range of Individual Compensation for most class members will be between $5,000 and $50,000. Class Members who experienced exceptional harm such as PTSD or who were sexually assaulted may be eligible for additional amounts.

HOW DO I GET THIS MONEY AND THESE BENEFITS? If the proposed settlement is approved by the Federal Court, you may make a claim for money and/or for individual reconciliation and recognition measures. To do so, you must complete a Claim Form and send it to the Claims Office during the Claims Period. More information on how to make a claim will be available if the proposed settlement is approved.

HOW MUCH MONEY WILL I GET? Your payment will depend on the type of harm you suffered and how many eligible Class Members submit claims in the proposed settlement. The details are explained in the proposed settlement agreement. A copy of the settlement agreement is available here: www.lgbtpurgesettlement.com.

The lawyers who represent the Class are also seeking approval of legal fees in the amount of $15,000,000 plus tax. The legal fees will be paid by Canada in addition to the compensation paid to eligible Class Members. The Federal Court will decide if the amount of the legal fees is fair and reasonable.

WHAT IF I DON’T AGREE WITH THE PROPOSED SETTLEMENT? Class Members can participate in the settlement approval hearing. If you do not agree with the proposed settlement, you can do one of the two things set out below. (1) Object in writing: Write a letter that includes your name, address and telephone number and explain why you object to the proposed settlement or use the Objection Form which can be found at www.lgbtpurgesettlement.com. You must mail your Objection Form before May 31, 2018 to: LGBT Purge Class Action, c/o Deloitte, Bay Adelaide East, 8 Adelaide Street West, Suite 200, Toronto ON, M5H 0A9 or lgbtpurge@deloitte.ca. (2) Object in person at the approval hearing: You can attend the Federal Court in Ottawa, 90 Sparks Street, Ottawa, Ontario on June 18 and 19, 2018 at 10:00 a.m. to participate in the proceeding and voice your concerns. You must also submit an Objection Form in writing if you want to object in person at the approval hearing.

If you do nothing: If you do not object in writing or in person and the settlement is approved, you will automatically be included in the settlement and be bound by the terms summarized above. There will be no other opportunity to object. If you have commenced a legal proceeding against Canada relating to the LGBT Purge, and you do not discontinue it before the expiry of the time for opting out, you will be deemed to have Opted Out of the settlement.

WANT MORE INFORMATION? Visit www.lgbtpurgesettlement.com, call 1-833-346-6178, email lgbtpurge@deloitte.ca, or write to LGBT Purge Class Action, c/o Deloitte, Bay Adelaide East, 8 Adelaide Street West, Suite 200, Toronto ON, M5H 0A9.

DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO WAS AFFECTED BY THE LGBT PURGE? Please share this information with them.

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FLASHBACK June 28, 1970 IN LGBT HISTORY Â The idea of a gay pride parade is born Â

On the morning of June 28, 1970, community members in New York City met at 53 Christopher Street near the Stonewall and marched up 6th Avenue to Central Park to recognize the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

May / June 2018

Part political rally, part attempt to build a safe community for homosexuals and lesbians, the march started with only a few hundred people at Stonewall, but by the time it concluded in Central Park it had grown to a crowd of several thousand.

This event was then known as Christopher Street Gay Liberation Day, and is now considered the first gay pride parade.

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Money confidence starts with money conversations.

May / June 2018

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