IN Magazine: September/October 2021

CELEBRATING CANADA’S LGBTQ2

LIFESTYLE

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

BILAL BAIG IS BREAKING BOUNDARIES SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MADE US BLUNTER TALKING ABOUT SEX, BUT ALSO MORE LIGHTHEARTED WHEN YOU DARE TO DREAM BIGGER THAN “PREFERENCE” 1

DOVATO IS My Choice

WHAT’s yours?

Is it time to rethink your treatment options?

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

DOVATO.CA DOVATO is dolutegravir + lamivudine in one pill

by

ViiV Healthcare ULC 245 Armand-Frappier Boulevard Laval, Quebec H7V 4A7 450-680-4810

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Trademarks are owned by or licensed to the ViiV Healthcare group of companies. ©2021 ViiV Healthcare group of companies or its licensor.

Code: PM-CA-DLL-JRNA-210002-E Date: 06-2021

Pill and bottle not actual size.

Stock photo. Posed by model.

CONTENTS

102

Canada's Quinn is officially the first openly transgender, non-binary athlete to win an Olympic medal

Issue 102 September / October 2021 INFRONT

05 | METROLINX MAKES PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION A SYMBOL OF PRIDE Keep an eye out for the latest Pride-themed GO Bus in the GTHA 06 | THE SOAP WARS Bar soaps have been making a comeback

08 | ARE YOU A GOOD ALLY TO YOURSELF? And by “yourself,” I mean all the other letters in the acronym 10 | GET SOCIAL Does venturing out to socialize post-pandemic seem daunting? This expert advice will help 11 | FIFE HOUSE: A PERSONAL JOURNEY TO BUILD CHANGE A conversation about Fife House’s muchneeded Homeless Outreach Program 12 | FROM FASHION TO TRAIL, CARS EXPRESS THEIR COLOURS Connecting an iconic scene from The Devil Wears Prada to the automotive industry 13 | LGBT HISTORY MONTH: A CELEBRATION OF OUR HISTORY Reflections from a member of the LGBTQ2S+ community who was given a second chance

16 | THE CATEGORY IS…TRAUMA DUMPING ON THE RUNWAY? Drag Race’s search for the total package includes revealing your deepest vulnerabilities on national TV during challenges

49 | PENTICTON: AN UNEXPECTED DESTINATION FOR CANADIAN LGBTQ+ TRAVELLERS Eat, drink and be merry in the beauty of the Okanagan Valley

18 | SEX AND COVID: INNOVATIONS AT THE END OF THE WORLD Support the sex worker movement in Canada

50 | FLASHBACK: OCTOBER 25, 1991 IN LGBTQ HISTORY Diana, Princess Of Wales visits Toronto’s Casey House

20 | THE SACRED CAMARADERIE OF FUCK-BUDDIES Some people are frankly not ready to be in a serious relationship…so….

22 | WHEN YOU DARE TO DREAM BIGGER THAN “PREFERENCE” It’s obvious that racist attitudes in love and sex are rooted in structural racism, 24 | BILAL BAIG IS BREAKING BOUNDARIES Baig's groundbreaking series Sort Of, which deals with the struggles of trying to reconcile all the labels we create for ourselves, will premiere on CBC’s streaming service this October 42 | CANADA IS A LEADER IN LGBTQ RIGHTS ADVOCACY – BUT IT COULD BE DOING A LOT MORE There is a lot to be proud of, but there is still plenty of room to do more

FEATURES

44 | SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MADE US BLUNTER TALKING ABOUT SEX, BUT ALSO MORE LIGHTHEARTED TikTok has introduced a new nonjudgmental, conversational style for sexuality

14 | SIX SONGS TO ADD TO THE PLAYLIST FOR YOUR BEST GAY LIFE Discover life lessons in the song titles of iconic pop divas

46 | IN LOVE WITH LYON In the undisputed gastronomic capital of the world, I eat as much and as slowly as possible, savouring every second

FASHION 28 | ANIMAL THERAPY Hunky animal wrangler Seth from Hands on Exotics slips on pieces from a few fashionforward brands and poses with some of his friends 32 | BONSAI Beautiful designs and opulent fabrics pay homage to East Asia this season

THIS ISSUE OF IN MAGAZINE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY

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inmagazine.ca PUBLISHER Patricia Salib GUEST EDITOR Christopher Turner ART DIRECTOR Georges Sarkis COPY EDITOR Ruth Hanley SENIOR COLUMNISTS Paul Gallant, Jumol Royes CONTRIBUTORS Miguel Arenillas, Luis Augusto Nobre, Kamla A. Blake, Jesse Boland, Adriana Ermter, Bianca Guzzo, Thomas Iglesias Trombetta, Gelareh Kamazani, Karen Kwan, Paul Langill, Ivan Otis, Brian Phillips, Erynn Puffer, Josh Rimer, Jumol Royes, Doug Wallace, Casey Williams, Jaime Woo, Sandra Yang, Adam Zivo DIRECTOR OF MARKETING AND SPONSORSHIPS Bradley Blaylock CONTROLLER Jackie Zhao

ADVERTISING & OTHER INQUIRIES (416) 800-4449 ext 100 info@inmagazine.ca

EDITORIAL INQUIRIES (416) 800-4449 ext 201 editor@inmagazine.ca

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

IN Magazine is published six times per year by The Mint Media Group. All rights reserved.

Visit www.inmagazine.ca daily for LGBTQ content 180 John St, Suite #509 Toronto, Ontario, M5T 1X5

ON THE COVER: BILAL BAIG PHOTOGRAPHER: GREG WONG

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COMMUNITY

M E T RO L I N X M A K E S P U B L I C T R A N S P O R TAT I O N A SYM B O L O F P R I D E

Keep an eye out for the latest Pride-themed GO bus in the GTHA

From Toronto to Kitchener to Niagara Falls and beyond, Metrolinx takes passengers all over Ontario aboard GO Transit and UP Express.

Travelling many routes means being seen by a lot of people, and GO bus wraps have been a great way for Metrolinx to promote its commitment to the LGBTQ+ community, equality, and embracing everything that Pride represents.

Since the first one-of-a-kind GO Transit bus wrap hit the streets in 2014, Metrolinx has continued to unveil new Pride-themed designs.

Created by the in-house creative team at Metrolinx, each bus wrap is all about celebrating what it means to be inclusive all year-round.

“The annual Pride bus design is one of the most fun projects we take on every year. Seriously, not just saying that!” says Lorne Kinsella, creative director, brand, identity & creative at Metrolinx.

“Developing a visual metaphor that expresses how important this community is to us and to Metrolinx is always rewarding, and we absolutely love seeing the designs roaring along a roadway!”

The Pride bus wrap design for this year features artwork inspired by the Progress Flag: a traditional six-colour rainbow joined by white, pink and light blue chevrons to represent the transgender community, and black and brown chevrons to represent marginalized LGBTQ+ communities of colour along with those lost to HIV/ AIDS or those currently living with it.

The chevrons represent forward movement, which Metrolinx views as its organizational commitment within the realm of diversity and inclusion. The purple stream flowing through ribbons intertwining with the GO logo work to signify that this is an ongoing journey for the organization.

The wrapped buses stay on the road 365 days a year, to reinforce to riders – and everyone who sees the message – that Metrolinx is committed to offering safe travel free from discrimination and inclusive of every single person across the GTHA. The 2019 Pride Bus, which is still in service, travelled 108,000 kilometres in 2020 and approximately 63,739 kilometres so far this year, and has been through 40 different municipalities. Metrolinx expects the brand new 2021 Pride bus to cover just as much ground – if not more.

The Pride buses are a representation of Metrolinx’s support for the LGBTQ+ community and a reminder that the public transportation network, stations and vehicles are meant to be safe spaces that the public can rely on.

See if you can spot the new 2021 Pride bus on your route!

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LOOKING GOOD

The

Wars Bar soaps have been making a comeback

By Adriana Ermter

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

This year’s Friends reunion, “The One Where They Get Back Together,” commemorating the 1990s’ hit television sitcom’s 25th anniversary, brought back a lot of memories that, in unexpected ways, felt relevant right now. Particularly the episode “The One Where Joey Moves Out,” when Chandler confronts his roommate Joey about the bar soap they share in the shower.

Chandler: (talking about Joey finishing his cereal, licking his spoon and putting it back in the silverware drawer) The spoon.

You licked and, and you put. You licked and you put!

Joey: Yeah, so?

Chandler: Well, don’t you see how gross that is? I mean, that’s like you using my toothbrush. (Joey looks sheepish) You used my toothbrush?

Joey: Well, that was only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.

Chandler: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.

Joey: Hey, why can’t we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?

Chandler: Because soap is soap. It’s self-cleaning.

Joey: All right, well, next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.

Yup, it was the ’90s and while most households were, like the fictional characters Chandler and Joey, still sharing the aforementioned bar, 6

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shower gels were also beginning to pop up in stores everywhere.

And they were gaining popularity over their solid counterparts.

Big name brands such as The Body Shop, Crabtree & Evelyn and Bath & Body Works had a fun and fanciful plethora of fresh, citrus, floral and baked goods-smelling liquid options that were too good to ignore; they soon had consumers’ attention and buying loyalty.

Whether the general public had viewed the Friends episode or not, people were starting to rethink the way they sudsed up in the shower.

This mindset continued to expand over the next two decades and, according to a 2016 research report by US research group Mintel, was the cause for bar soap sales to fall, thanks to 60 per cent of consumers ages 18 to 24 and 31 per cent of consumers 65 years and older believing bar soaps were germ magnets. An additional 55 per cent of all consumers simply found liquid soaps to be more convenient. A cleansing trend quickly turned into the new norm and put foaming and gooey liquid pump-based options front and centre, forcing bar soaps into the background.

Since 2020, however, bar soaps have been making a comeback. A big one, too, with the Kline Group’s Cosmetics & Toiletries USA reporting a resurgence in their popularity, with a record sales growth of 6.5 per cent in 2020. The report attributes this to the increased need for hand and body hygiene during the 2019-tocurrent COVID-19 global pandemic.

Time…which since early 2019 has often felt like an eternity, with everyone confined indoors focusing on constantly, consistently lathering, rinsing and repeating their handwashing routine. It has also caused many to wonder which type of soap – bar or liquid – is better.

FOCUS ON FORMULA While bar and liquid soaps are certainly different in appearance, they are more similar than you’d think, at least when it comes to their formulations. “Surfactants, or surface active agents, are a key ingredient in both bar soap and washes,” explain Malin and Goetz. “Surfactants act like a magnet attracting water to one side and dirt, oil and debris to the other. They cleanse the skin of daily dirt and grime.”

Additionally, both bar and liquid versions can contain olive, coconut, palm kernel, soy palm, castor, apricot, avocado, almond, jojoba, hemp, nut or seed oils (just to name a few) to reduce bacteria and create the bubbles that appear when you lather up. Hydrating ingredients such as vitamin E and cocoa, mango or shea butters are also often included to provide moisture to the skin. Water and glycerin (albeit liquid glycerin for liquid soaps) and fragrance, essential oils and colour can also be found in each option’s formulas.

The core difference between the two is that bar soaps are typically made from animal fat or vegetable oils and then mixed with an alkali, while liquid soaps tend to be predominantly petroleum based and created with emulsifying agents and stabilizers to keep their ingredients from separating in the bottle.

approved or otherwise, most liquid soaps are more costly on the environment,” agrees Dr. Solish. “Bar soaps win, hands over feet.

Plus, they’re usually inexpensive and are simply wrapped in paper, while liquid soaps are frequently contained in plastic, pump-based containers.”

Clearly, when it comes to the packaging debate, bar soaps come out on top. That said, favourites such as Dove, Irish Spring, Cerave, Crate 61, Dr. Squatch, Avène and Schmidt’s are sold in additional packaging like cardboard boxes, while brands with liquid options such as Molton Brown, Diptyque, Lothantique and The Unscented Company use recyclable, glass dispensers. Many more brands, such as Dial, L’Occitane en Provence, Mrs. Meyers, method and CleanCult have reduced their plastic waste by creating biodegradable pouches, tubs and aluminum containers replete with their soapy formulas, empowering consumers to refill their existing dispensers.

Still, even if you opt for a refill, bar soaps last longer. “You don’t have to replenish them as often as a gel cleanser,” affirm Malin and Goetz. “They’re extremely environmentally responsible. No plastic to chuck into the recycling bin hoping it finds its way to a recycling centre. So they save space at home and on the planet.

The other nice thing about a bar soap is that you know exactly how much you have left. No frustration pumping a bottle trying to squeeze out the last bit of gel.”

CUSTOM CREATIONS Yes, there are loads of fresh, sporty and clean-scented hand-andbody washes and bar soaps to choose from. Yet, when you want to curate the way you smell, shower gels take the lead. Designer fragrance houses and cult beauty and grooming brands, such as Acqua di Parma, Chanel, Le Labo, Byredo, Hugo Boss and Malin+Goetz can transform your bathroom into a spa and get you squeaky clean all at the same time. But what they truly specialize in is their ability to personalize your wash routine.

Capitalizing on your mood and emotions and how you want to express yourself that day, liquid washes can be used in place of or to build upon a signature scent, cologne or perfume. Tapping into your senses and having a fragrance linger on your skin is a key benefit to using a luxury liquid soap, one that bar soaps just can’t replicate.

Yet contrary to myth, both are equally efficient and safe at eliminating dirt, debris, germs and bacteria. “It’s all about the lather,” explains Dr. Nowell Solish, a cosmetic dermatologist and dermatologic surgeon, the director of dermatologic surgery at the University “We like the tactile act of picking up a bar of soap to wash; it always of Toronto and the founder of his eponymous clinic in Toronto. feels so nice and thorough between our hands, and we like that the bar “When you work up a lather, you spend more time lifting up the literally washes itself clean when you rinse it under water,” explain dirt and micro-organisms, cleaning away the oil and dead skin Malin and Goetz. “But we also love a multi-purpose product, like cells that stick to the skin, removing the bacteria growing on it and our washes. They can be used to both cleanse and bathe, and, as a any odours that have formed. The oil-based portion of each soap’s bonus, run the pump under the faucet for an aromatic foaming bath.” formulation attracts the membranes that contain viruses and kills them. Then the water washes it all down the drain.” Just don’t use So who wins? “As long as you’re thoroughly washing your hands a foam-based liquid, warns Dr. Solish: their lack of ability to create every time you come inside from being outdoors or in the car, at more lather when emulsified in your hands directly correlates to work or wherever, and you’re lathering up for a solid minute before their inability to thoroughly clean. rinsing off, you can use either product,” says Dr. Solish, affirming that the soap wars choice boils down to personal preference.

ENVIRONMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS According to a 2019 study by the Institute of Environmental “We can’t pick a favourite,” Malin and Goetz agree. “The key Engineering, more than 40 per cent of consumers buying skincare differences between hand-and-body washes and bar soaps are the products are concerned about environmental factors. Additionally, textures, performance and sensorial experience due to the unique the study notes that liquid soaps leave a 25 per cent larger carbon chemical makeup.” So, ultimately, it’s up to you to decide. footprint than bar soaps. “Regardless of whether they’re dermatologist ADRIANA ERMTER is a Toronto-based, lifestyle-magazine pro who has travelled the globe writing about must-spritz fragrances, child poverty, beauty and grooming.

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LOOKING GOOD

“Bar soaps were a wonderful luxury during self-quarantine, as well as now,” affirm Matthew Malin and Andrew Goetz, the founders of Malin+Goetz, a beauty company based in New York City. The 17-year-old cult brand is renowned globally for both its bar and liquid soaps, among other skincare offerings. “A good bar soap is the minimalist’s dream,” continue Malin and Goetz. “It does not take up a lot of space when being used and it can look really pretty in its wrapping. They help freshen the bathroom even when you are not using them and they last practically forever, so they offer the greatest luxury of all time.”

PRIDE AT WORK

ARE YOU A GOOD ALLY TO YOURSELF? And by “yourself,” I mean all the other letters in the acronym

By Luis Augusto Nobre

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

Dear reader, Allyship is something that I’ve been thinking about for a while, and I was considering the best format to express it. We might be overwhelmed with the current communication formats: emails, social media posts, SMS, TikTok dances.… So I decided to be a little bit old-fashioned and write a letter to you. I believe that we can connect on this subject and, together, explore how we can become better allies to all members of the LGBTQ2+ communities. I will touch on what I have learned so far in my journey, and I’m willing to learn with and from you about what we can do.

It is pretty common to expect allyship from people who aren’t members of the LGBTQ2+ communities. I’ve been in many meetings and events where straight people say they are allies who support us. However, in many of those social interactions, I feel they are saying that without a strong commitment – it’s meaningless, like a statement that they aren’t including themselves in that discussion, that they will be more listeners, observers rather than social actors.

Maybe you have experienced something similar or have the same feeling related to a relative, a friend or a co-worker.

I could mention the difference between being a real ally and simply being someone who passively supports the changes to promote LGBTQ2+ inclusion. But this letter isn’t for them. This letter is addressed to you. I want to connect with you and see if you, who see yourself in the spectrum of the LGBTQ2+ acronym, are a true ally to those who are fighting the battles to win rights and spaces for all of us. This message is addressed to you who don’t 8

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think that trans inclusion is important because trans folks don’t represent you. These words are for you who feel superior because of your gender identity, gender expression and sexual behaviour, and don’t see that you are reproducing misogyny and biases against our own communities.

Yes, I am addressing this letter to you because we need you if we want to change the world. You are indispensable to live the changes that we want to make and create a better society for all of us, with a strong sense of belonging, equity and justice. It’s really important to have you and your understanding that we won’t live in a better world if some people from our LGBTQ2+ communities still face challenges and inequalities. You might consider yourself protected, but you have to remember that the rights and freedoms you enjoy today came about because many other folks have long been fighting for our rights and liberty. So, protection must include them, and it must include those who don’t know how to fight but nonetheless have the right to exist and be respected.

Before advancing my ideas and giving some context, I thought about many topics to write about here and to share with you…but if I did all that, I would end up with a book, not a letter. That’s why I’m telling you I won’t explore all the letters in the acronym LGBTQ2+. I am choosing only three to start this conversation. The other letters can come in a future message, or you might explore them by yourself (and I hope for that). Take this letter as your starting point if you haven’t yet thought about being a better ally

T is the first letter I will call your attention to. Trans folks are the ones who face the most inequalities, challenges and violence, and many of them don’t have support within LGBTQ2+ communities.

I consider myself an empathic cis-queer person, and I do my best to acknowledge that many of my rights came from trans people, such as Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, two important names in the Stonewall Riots. Unlike some acquaintances who don’t recognize that their rights come from trans activists and people, I’m aware that I owe a lot to them. So I don’t waste any opportunities to talk about trans inclusion when I hear an inappropriate comment. I know that you can do more for our trans fellows, so please continue learning, celebrating trans content and artists, celebrating new trans inclusion policies, and hiring trans folks.

B is the second letter I’ll discuss. Bisexual folks are vulnerable, and many of them face biases from both straight and queer people.

Those biases are even reflected in the workplace, affecting their professional careers and salaries. I’ve heard many times that bisexuals are hiding themselves in the closet or just aren’t brave enough to be gay or lesbian, for example. Because we still reproduce heteronormativity models, people have a hard time accepting that there are in fact infinite numbers between 0 and 1. Fun fact: all of us understand the infinite numbers in mathematics, but we continue keeping the binarity for human relations and judging those who are multiple.

I wasn’t sure which other letter from the acronym I should include in this message to you – there are so many important options. I ended up choosing the plus symbol. It includes a lot, but I call your (and my) attention to the letter A in particular. A for Asexual.

(The other A, for Ally, is the theme of this whole communication.)

Asexual people have been among us in a big silence and pressure.

Many of the day-to-day conversations we have could create discomfort for them, and we might not pay attention to details that they are silently sharing with us. I know that I have created some embarrassing situations for asexual folks because I keep reproducing exclusionary models without noticing. That’s why it is important to me to write about it, because I’m also saying to myself that I must become a better ally to asexual people (and to those who consider themselves in the asexuality spectrum).

Learning more about trans, bi and asexual inclusion not only helps me to continue my work in diversity and inclusion, but it opens my eyes to new realities that aren’t mine and calls me to continue honouring the queer legacy. It applies to the whole acronym and to the different identities in each letter. This is a journey of selfknowledge, and I’m discovering my unique identity, modelling my own queerness, and building my empathy with topics that normally I wouldn’t probably care about because I wouldn’t consider them to be my immediate reality. However, they are my immediate reality. They are your immediate reality as well. Together, we have the strength and power to make the changes necessary for more inclusive societies.

So can I have you on board in this allyship journey?

Yours truly, Luis LUIS AUGUSTO NOBRE is the marketing and communications coordinator of Pride at Work Canada/Fierté au travail Canada, a leading national non-profit organization that promotes workplace inclusion on the grounds of gender expression, gender identity and sexual orientation. For more information, visit prideatwork.ca.

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PRIDE AT WORK

to our fellows. And please consider their intersectionalities as this is the beginning of your journey.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

GET SOCIAL

Does venturing out to socialize post-pandemic seem daunting? This expert advice will help

By Karen Kwan

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

As much of the world continues to reopen after the pandemic after ease when you’re there,” says Cheng. It’s important to remember such a long time living in isolation, it would be natural to assume the factors you can control in these scenarios, she says, so you’re not that the idea of being able to hang out again with your friends and forcing yourself into doing something you aren’t comfortable with. family, and to see colleagues at the office, is a huge and welcome relief. But after spending so many months not socializing, the Acknowledge your discomfort and get support truth is that many people are experiencing social anxiety about the Know that these feelings are normal, and sit with these emotions. prospect of having to make small talk again. “That’s very normal “Remind yourself that it’s okay and don’t internalize these feelings,” to feel anxious about this when you haven’t seen other people in says Cheng. Talk to close friends or family about what you find such a long time,” says Vera Cheng, a psychotherapist based in daunting: they can be a good source of support, she says. If your Toronto. Here, we dive into how to ease back into being social anxiety is not lessening over time, she adds, you may want to seek again if you’re feeling uncomfortable with it after such a long hiatus. professional support on how to cope.

Know that other people are feeling anxious about socializing again, too It can be comforting to know you’re all in the same boat.

“Acknowledge that you’re not the only one to feel this way and, in fact, other people might feel more anxious than you,” says Cheng, who runs her private counselling practice, Talk Therapy with Vera, in Toronto. She says it’s key to remember this if, for example, friends decline to meet in person. “Don’t take it personally. Lower your expectations and look for ways to make everyone feel more comfortable,” she says.

Share your concerns with others If you’re invited to a social gathering, consider speaking to the host about feeling uncomfortable, and get more details so you can prepare for the event. “Ask how many people are attending, and know that you can leave early if you’re starting to feel too ill at

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Prepare for your social interactions Try to go with the flow, says Cheng, but if you’re feeling especially nervous, practise some deep breathing. Have a few open-ended questions ready if “How are you doing?” gets a curt “I’m good.”

You can ask if they’ve picked up any hobbies in the past year, for example. But at the same time, Cheng warns against preparing too much. “If you think too much about it, it may give you more anxiety to be overthinking about how everything is going to happen.”

Ramp up slowly Don’t fill your calendar every day with a get-together if that makes you want to run and hide. “Listen to your gut and set boundaries,” says Cheng. You might start with one small gathering a week and eventually add more. “Be patient with yourself. If you push too hard, you will just get more anxious about it.”

KAREN KWAN is a freelance health, travel and lifestyle writer based in Toronto.

Follow her on Twitter at @healthswellness and on Instagram at @healthandswellness.

COMMUNITY

FA IPFE RE H O U S E : SONAL JOURNEY TO BUILD CHANGE

A conversation with a stabilization worker in Fife House’s much-needed Homeless Outreach Program Fife House is Canada’s largest provider of supportive residential programming and housing services for individuals and families living with HIV. It has 700 housing units in Toronto, including seven residential housing sites. We talked with Glen Hart, a housing stabilization worker in Fife House’s Homeless Outreach Program.

people living with HIV because stigma and discrimination still exist here, and they need a safe place [where they can] live without fear. For these clients, moving into their own apartment is such a relief. Finally, they have their own home where they can begin their new life in Canada.

Glen, tell us about the work of the Fife House Homeless Outreach Program and why you are passionate about the work you do.

The Homeless Outreach Program supports people living with HIV in the community, to help them find housing and maintain it. We work with people who are chronically homeless as well as those newly homeless due to major life changes like the loss of a job or relationship, a health challenge or coming to a new country. We work with people fleeing violence, HIV stigma and discrimination.

Tell us about what it was like for you moving these clients into their new home.

The day I moved the first client into his new home was the most rewarding day I’ve experienced as a housing stabilization worker.

To witness someone who has been homeless moving into their new home, and knowing that I played a small part in it, is very gratifying.

All the clients who have moved in are so happy to have a safe, healthy place to call home. This housing is going to be transformative for their life and give them the opportunity to flourish.

As a person living with HIV who has also experienced homelessness, this work is very personal for me. When I was homeless, what saved my life was the support I received from workers in the HIV community. I consider it an honour to be able to provide for others the very services that I needed 15 years ago. That lived experience is what informs and motivates my work now. Working with clients to obtain safe and appropriate housing feels like a full circle moment for me.

What is the link between housing and a good quality of life for people living with HIV? People living with HIV need safe, secure housing to maintain their health. HIV is very treatable, but for our clients who are homeless and living with mental health and/or substance use challenges, HIV can still be life-threatening. Daily, we work with clients who need connection to health care, medication and intensive support to stabilize their health and help them secure housing that meets their needs. With that, these clients have an opportunity to get their health back on track and go on to live long and healthy lives.

Tell us about the work that Fife House is doing to move chronically homeless clients into housing.

Thanks to our partnerships with the City of Toronto and St. Clare’s Multifaith, Fife House recently had the opportunity to move five chronically homeless clients into their own supportive housing apartments. Many of these clients are newcomers to Canada, fleeing from countries where they experienced HIV stigma and discrimination. After arriving in Canada, they had to stay in shelters and rely on social assistance. With social assistance rates as low as they are, it is extremely difficult to find housing where you do not have to share with others. This can be very challenging for

How did the pandemic impact your community?

A significant number of Fife House residents and clients are living with mental health challenges, and the isolation of the pandemic was especially difficult for them. Access to technology has been crucial to help them maintain their connections to healthcare providers, family and friends. Thanks to the generous support of ViiV Healthcare Canada, we purchased iPads for our residents and clients to use for virtual appointments with their doctors and psychiatrists, and video calls with friends and family. We at Fife House are grateful to the many organizations, foundations and individual donors that make our life-changing work possible and help improve access to care.

For more information on Fife House, visit www.fifehouse.org.

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WHEELS

FROM FASHION TO TRAIL, CARS EXPRESS THEIR COLOURS Connecting one of the most iconic scenes in The Devil Wears Prada to the automotive industry

By Casey Williams

There’s that great scene in The Devil Wears Prada where Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep), in a diabolical monologue, lectures Andy Sachs (Anne Hathaway) about how haute couture colors ended up on her “blue” bargain bin sweater.

“But what you don’t know,” she lectures, “is that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise, it’s not lapis, it’s actually cerulean.” She goes on to explain how cerulean began with a collection of Oscar de la Renta gowns, then showed up in the collections of eight other designers, after which it filtered down to the wider world through department stores.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

It’s not much different with automotive paint colours…except designers have to know what will be hot five years hence instead of just next year. For Subaru, the signature colour for the automaker’s all-capable 2022 Outback Wilderness wagon isn’t just blue, it’s Geyser Blue. Finding the perfect colour was not easy.

but it’s also true. Highland Green on a Mustang instantly recalls Steve McQueen in the movie Bullitt. Toyota’s Sea Glass Pearl silvery green is the de rigeur colour for environmentally friendly vehicles.

Automakers will soon offer an ever-expanding palette of hues. “It’s a really exciting time, with tech getting into cars at a faster pace, especially electric vehicles,” Riedel says. “Colour and design language are shifting. Millennials are used to customization.

Apple is making a huge splash with new coloured iPhones. That’s influencing automotive.”

Shedding the first two decades of this century, silver is trending down while other colours rise. “We are in kind of a pastel moment due to COVID,” Riedel says. “People are wanting softer, soothing colours. As we come out of the pandemic, we’ll see bright, optimistic, more saturated colours.”

Rally Blue, which identifies Subaru’s rally-ready WRX, has staying “Haute couture houses are a good place to start,” says Nicole Riedel, power. Geyser Blue could become an equally heroic colour for the carline planning manager for Subaru Outback, Legacy and Ascent. brand’s all-capable crossovers.

“For the Outback, we also look at outdoor wear – anywhere our target customers are looking. We look as far as six years out, compared “Colours should tell a story; we’re passionate about it,” Riedel says. to two to three years for other industries.”

“It’s important for customers to know a lot of thought goes into vehicles that accompany their hobbies and adventures.”

They must, because it can take that long to develop a new model, and early in that process, engineers must know requirements for suppliers and manufacturing. To gain insight, designers look to Europe, Asia and beyond.

“Fashion week for us is the auto shows, New York especially,” Riedel says. “We also get out to the high-end home decor shows.

Even seeing what people are wearing on the streets is informational.

We check as it goes from couture to home decor, then maybe as it shifts to high-end cars, then to mass fashion. REI and Patagonia are important for us. If it started with Chanel and ended in REI, we’re in a good place.”

Rare colours endure. Black will forever be associated with the Model T. “All Corvettes Are Red” was a book by James Schefter,

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CASEY WILLIAMS is a contributing writer for Gaywheels.com. He contributes to the New York-based LGBT magazine Metrosource and the Chicago Tribune. He and his husband live in Indianapolis, where Williams contributes videos and reviews to wfyi.org, the area’s PBS/NPR station.

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OPINION

LGBT History Month: A Celebration Of Our History

Reflections from a member of the LGBTQ2S+ community who was given a second chance

By Elton McDuffus

LGBT History Month – or Rainbow History Month, as I personally dub it – is dedicated to recognizing important moments in the history of LGBTQ2S+ people’s lives. The month-long observance of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender history highlights the roles of LGBTQ2S+ people in observing, advocating, creating and promoting a just society for all. It has taken place every October since it was created in 1994 by Rodney Wilson, a high school history teacher in Missouri.

Significant days in LGBT History Month include Spirit Day on October 20 (which was started by Canadian Brittany McMillan), National Coming Out Day on October 11 and, south of the border, the commemoration of the First March on Washington, DC, which took place on October 14, 1979.

attacks because of their sexuality, and my heart breaks when I think about my slain friends. I wish they were here with me to celebrate being free, unashamed to express their creative side and able to live a safe and long life.

Life in Canada is amazing: hence my drive to continue to be visible, celebrating LGBT History Month and promoting the importance of LGBTQ2S+ rights. In a way it’s odd that, in 2021, we should still have to celebrate a special month – as every day should be LGBTQ2S+ Day – but until then, I look forward to Pride Month, LGBT History Month and other events that celebrate the lives and freedom of LGBTQ2S+ people’s lives.

I take pride in celebrating each of these events every year, and consciously promote them, educating and encouraging my friends and co-workers to do the same…even if it’s simply watching an LGBTQ2S+-themed movie or wearing the colour purple for Spirit Day. Some might ask why these are so important to me and why I have such a drive to bring awareness and visibility to this month and its events. I grew up in Jamaica, a very decorated and celebrated place for its food, weather, track and field, people, music, beaches and overall culture. However, as a gay man, I was never celebrated for simply being ME. I was often chastised by people – both strangers and those who knew me – if and when I did not fit into the masculine or patriarchal society that country is built on. Imagine being bullied and teased, attacked and harassed for just being perceived to be gay, let alone confirming and celebrating such an identity.

I was constantly attacked, harassed and threatened because I was a gay man in a country that continues to criminalize, with its Buggery Law, gay men who choose to engage in same-sex intimacy.

This further supports the culture that hurts and threatens and even murders LGBTQ2S+ people. And that is why I had to flee and seek refuge in Canada for a safe life.

Thanks to the Rainbow Railroad, I was given a second chance at life and a second chance to celebrate MYSELF. I can now say who I am without fear, without looking over my shoulder, without suffering moments of PTSD. I am celebrated, I am loved, and I can enjoy this newfound freedom to be, to be happy, just being LGBTQ2S+ (GAY)!

I often feel guilty about having such a level of freedom and comfortability to be ME. I have lost so many friends to violent

ELTON MCDUFFUS is a purpose-driven, creative fashion blogger and an advocate for social justice and change.

Born on Jamaican soil, he uses his talents to attend to the vulnerable populations: people affected by homelessness, mental health concerns and addictions. He’s passionate about life, travelling and simply dressing up.

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PERSPECTIVE

To Add To The Playlist For Your Discover life lessons in the song titles of iconic pop divas

By Jumol Royes

When you hear the names Whitney, Mariah, Tina, Céline, Shania and Cher, one word immediately comes to mind: divas.

The very first VH1 Divas concert debuted back in 1998 and aired annually, with a few breaks in between, before taking its final bow in 2016. The concerts featured iconic performances by some of the top female vocalists of the day delivering a musical master class and showing off their impressive range and skills (if you’re too young to remember or you just want to reminisce, that’s what YouTube is for).

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

Music has the power to move, inspire, transform and heal, and you’ve probably experienced the soul-stirring, mood-shifting, can’t-stop-toe-tapping effect that accompanies any listening session that includes one of the aforementioned chanteuses belting out a classic hit. But behind the music of these vocal powerhouses are timeless messages that still resonate today.

Listen closely to the lyrics in the song titles of these oldies but goodies sung by our most beloved pop divas and you might hear some lessons to live by for your best gay life.

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PERSPECTIVE “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston “That’s the Way It Is” by Céline Dion Chances are you’ve been in a bar or a nightclub when this song We often think that life would be so much simpler and less stressful comes on and the scene pretty much always plays out the same way: if we could just control our circumstances. Unfortunately, that’s you grab your friends, flock to the dance floor and start singing out not how it works. Mental health and addiction treatment programs loud at the top of your lungs (boy, does this bring back memories teach that recovery is a non-linear process and it’s essential to learn of my first foray to a TIFF after-party). We’re social beings who how to surf and ride the waves. If we’re constantly waging war with match each other’s energy, and we usually don’t even need to think ourselves and the world around us, that creates resistance – and about it. The next time you receive some good news or you’re in what we resist, persists. We then end up getting more of what we an exceptionally upbeat mood, call a friend who could use a little say we don’t want and less of what we do want. Be flexible and pick-me-up. Sharing is caring. Share your joy and your pleasure. willing to go with the flow. Right now, it’s like this.

“Emotions” by Mariah Carey Let’s be honest, though; there are times when not even a phone call from our BFF is enough to lift our spirits. Given everything we’ve been through over the course of the past year and a half, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why some of us are feeling disinterested, disappointed and discouraged. When we expand our emotional vocabulary and embrace the concept of emodiversity (the variety and abundance of emotions), we develop our emotional intelligence and become better equipped to navigate moments of struggle and resilience. Feel all the feels. Sometimes it’s okay to not be okay.

“That Don’t Impress Me Much” by Shania Twain I recently found myself spending too much time mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and realized that it was taking a toll on me IRL. My feed was overpopulated with pictures of half-naked white guys with six-pack abs chilling on a beach at an exclusive resort, or doing something equally fabulous. I don’t know about you, but that’s not my lived reality. So I decided to start following more body-positive content creators and queer people of colour. I also turned off the app’s notifications on my iPhone. Don’t be overly impressed by the Instagays, and stop trying to keep up with them. Do you, boo.

“What’s Love Got to Do with It” by Tina Turner “Believe” by Cher Music is strongly associated with memory, and this Tina Turner We live in a world where proof and evidence reign supreme. If we mega-hit is one of the first pop songs I can recall listening to as a can’t see, hear, smell, taste or touch it, or easily explain it, we’re child of the ’80s. Back then, I didn’t know much about love, nor told to dismiss it. The problem with this perspective is that it doesn’t did I give it much thought. But after having my heart broken a time really tell the full story. Athletes know that training and practice are or two by beautiful boys who treated me badly, then coming to important, but it’s their ability to dig deep and believe they can do terms with trauma as an adult and bearing witness to the cruel and it that allows them to achieve peak performance and pushes them unnecessary pain and suffering inflicted upon the most vulnerable across the finish line. Entrepreneurs value sweat equity and risk among us, what I know for sure is that one of the biggest problems taking, but it’s their unwavering belief in themselves and their ideas in the world today is a lack of love. Learn to love yourself first, that makes success a reality. Conventional wisdom says that “seeing and then extend that love outwards to others. What’s love got to is believing,” but maybe we got it mixed up. “Believing is seeing” do with it? Everything. has always worked better for me, so I’m going to trust my gut.

JUMOL ROYES is a Toronto-area storyteller, communications strategist and glass-half-full kinda guy. He writes about compassion, community, identity and belonging. His guilty pleasure is watching the Real Housewives. Follow him on Twitter at @Jumol and on Instagram at @jumolroyes.

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The Category Is…

TRAUMA DUMPING ON THE RUNWAY? Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve…and Trauma? Drag Race’s search for the total package includes revealing your deepest vulnerabilities on national TV during challenges, a practice that has continued to divide fans

By Bianca Guzzo

If there’s something RuPaul’s Drag Race has become really good at, it’s pumping out new content for loyal fans three or four times a year. While this has resulted in an endless supply of entertainment, it also means the debate of quality over quantity is one that comes up a lot among Drag Race fans online. In the haste to produce new and fresh content, creators don’t want to give fans the same-old predictable challenges…so sometimes we get new and exciting ones. Some of them are great additions to the show’s repertoire of iconic weekly challenges, and some of them (let’s be honest here) are flops.

Viewers of the show will also be familiar with what happens at the end of the second-last episode of each season. Ru holds up a photo of each finalist queen as a toddler, and then asks each what they would tell their younger selves. While the segment usually tugs at the heartstrings of viewers who have been watching these queens’ journeys from the beginning of the season, long-time fans have started taking it for what it is: the final competition to see who can produce the best mascara-stained tear and inspirational quote to show the judges who is the most vulnerable, and therefore most deserving of the crown.

In a mid-season episode of the show’s sixth All Stars run this past summer, an entire episode was focused on a talk show challenge.

The challenge’s objective was for the queens to dig deep and get personal with a pre-selected topic. At the end of the episode, a few of the queens (who had never been in the bottom before) were told their optimistic performance in the challenge was off-putting and made judges uncomfortable. One of them ended up being sent home despite having one of the best looks on the runway that week.

This sparked a debate among Drag Race fans on Twitter about the subject matter of the episode, and the direction the challenges were taking on the show. Was this new challenge a step in the right direction with getting to know the queens on a personal level, or was the show exploiting its contestants’ trauma for entertainment?

Like the “what would you tell your younger self” segments, the Pink Table Talk challenge in All Stars 6 elaborates on the concept of the chats the queens have in front of their vanities, but with the intention to cut deeper. On paper, the talk show challenge makes sense, especially with the direction the show seems to be taking with what Ru, and the production, expect from the queens.

Drag Race has never been a simple pageant, but now more than ever, the show strives to crown a well-rounded queen. She has to produce the gag-worthy looks and pull at viewers’ heartstrings to gain the popular vote from judges and fans. But the Pink Table Talk challenge, and subsequent elimination, rubbed the majority of fans the wrong way.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

Sharing personal stories isn’t something new to the franchise. It’s something that usually happens when the queens are getting ready for the main stage in the last half of each episode. They have talked about everything in these four- to seven-minute sections: about abuse, about race and, for some, about living with HIV. While some of the stories are heavier, there are also stories of joy.

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The challenge saw the remaining nine queens split into three groups to discuss different hot topics: Sex, Motherhood and Body. One of the most common criticisms of the episode among fans was that the conversations didn’t feel completely genuine due to the fact that they were cut and pasted together in editing. But the overall production value of the challenge was also disappointing to viewers, who are used to seeing over-the-top campy sets built for challenges

The Pink Table Talk challenge was designed to show fans a different side of the queens, while also giving them an opportunity to be vulnerable as they shared personal stories related to the topics. The majority of the queens did share very personal stories about body image, gender identity and living with HIV. But there were a few – mainly Jan and Scarlet Envy – whose usual upbeat performance during the challenge saw them up for elimination following critiques from the judges at the end of the episode. That unfairly puts queens in jeopardy for either not wanting to share their trauma on an internationally televised competition reality show – or, worse, being punished for not having the “right” life experiences to make a big enough statement in a challenge. Scarlet, for example, was critiqued for “putting on a show” when she described how much she loved having two moms, while her teammates were praised for opening up about their strained relationships with their mothers.

Judging and critiquing on challenges like these becomes sticky, because comparing people’s experiences and trauma can turn into a challenge in and of itself. The thing with trauma is that it shouldn’t be compared, which makes the decision to judge challenges based on the amount or depth of trauma the queens are willing to share on the show hard to get behind as a fan of the queens, and the show. Ultimately, it creates an expectation for future contestants that they need to share things they may be uncomfortable with sharing in order to be taken as a serious competitor.

There are benefits to sharing a personal story when you have such a large platform, especially when the person sharing is willing to start a conversation. It can be empowering, and important. But sharing a personal story like that should be on each individual’s terms. When the objective of the challenge is to share something deeply personal to get ahead on a reality competition show, it starts to look a lot like the production is using the contestant’s trauma for entertainment or as part of the competition, and that feels a little gross.

So, while some of these stories do start great conversations within the 2SLGBTQI+ community and beyond, it needs to happen organically, and with genuine intentions…not to gain extra points

in a challenge. Drag is fun, and it’s full of heart, but the constant need for queens to “dig deeper” and share has cast a shadow over the colourful and camp competition.

Anyone who has been a fan of the Drag Race franchise for a while knows how ruthless the fandom can get. Sometimes when a queen does open up on the main stage, the reception isn’t always warm and fuzzy. Take All Star Roxxxy Andrews, for example. During critiques, Roxxxy broke down explaining that when she was three, her mother left her and her sister at a bus stop. Fans of the show have been debating whether Roxxxy brought it up because she was scared of being eliminated that week, and they knew it would pull at Ru’s heartstrings. Regardless of why Roxxxy mentioned it, it’s been given the internet meme treatment thousands of times over, which can make it a little intimidating for anyone else to share a personal story on a reality television show.

It’s always nice to think you know some personal information about a public figure you support. It’s human nature to want to connect with anybody through shared personal experiences, but ultimately it should be up to the person sharing them, at the time of their choosing. For example, Trinity K. Bonet brought up her HIV status multiple times through the sixth season of All Stars, always mentioning how important it was to her to speak on the topic to kickstart a discussion. But the expectation the show has created for queens to share their vulnerability in order to be seen as “real” or taken seriously by judges is harmful and leaves a bad taste in viewers’ mouths.

As Drag Race continues to grow, and more is expected from queens as they compete for the crown, there needs to be a balance between the two ideas: on the one hand, that queens can share what they want, that important conversations can happen on the show, and that they should be as genuine as possible, and on the other hand, that all of this should happen without the expectation that their trauma should be shared simply for challenges or for the entertainment of others.

Shared similar experiences with trauma can and will always bring people closer together and start important conversations, which is something folks in the 2SLGBTQI+ community are familiar with. But sharing these personal stories should never come at the expense of your time and standing on a reality competition show.

There are so many different ways you can share your Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent with the world, and it doesn’t always have to include oversharing on camera.

BIANCA GUZZO is a writer based out of the GTA. She spends her free time watching Trixie Mattel makeup tutorials, though she has yet to nail the look.

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in the past. The set for this challenge was just a round pink table in the middle of the plain main stage. No ambient lighting, no elaborate set pieces built to accompany the challenge. It was like the most boring video podcast you could find on YouTube. At the end of the day, a set is a superficial addition to a challenge, and the criticisms from fans about the actual content of the challenge opens up the conversation for what might really happening on the show.

SEX

SEX AND COVID:

INNOVATIONS AT THE END OF THE WORLD Support the sex worker movement in Canada

By Thomas Iglesias Trombetta

Locked in but never disconnected, many of us have been forced by COVID-19 to innovate in the face of uncertainty. Whether due to financial instability, a desire to explore one’s sexuality, or a need to express art through content creation, many have migrated to OnlyFans (OF).

But how has this pandemic changed how we interact sexually with one another? How have sex workers adapted through a global lockdown? We interviewed eight sex workers on what they wish others knew about sex work and those who do it.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

Many, like Sarah and Drew, started their OF journey during the pandemic. Drew, a 23-year-old gay man who is a recent graduate in Edmonton, had been thinking about OF for about one year before actually starting. “It was never really a necessity at that point…but when COVID hit and I was at a place of job uncertainty, I had a lot of free time, and decided to go full throttle and actually start it [OF].”

Sarah, an artist and social justice advocate from Alberta, began by creating and posting boudoir and semi-nude content on her social media. “It was about taking back my power. When you grow up as a South Asian woman, sexuality isn’t really something that is celebrated or applauded, so it was my way of breaking into sex positivity. OnlyFans was something I thought about for a long time since I was already taking that content, but held off for so long. I was nervous about the stigma.”

Dirk, also from Edmonton, started off with Chatterbate and then got into OF. Although he makes less money on OF, Dirk says Chatterbate is a harder platform to moderate when it comes to boundaries and harassment. OF became the better option given their tools that allow for stronger moderation agency. It was easier to hide his identiy on OF, which was important given that the lockdown, financial instability and the possible loss of employment made him move back with his parents. COVID really “forced” Dirk to evolve, and OF has been a slow progression for him.

OF also appeared to accommodate for different audiences and kinks, really allowing creators to perform what they actually want to and are comfortable with. Zero, who’s finishing his graduate studies and working full time, says that “a lot of fans like heavier kinks, like knife play, leather, pups, dominatrix, and also shibari.”

Both Zero and Sarah choose not to show their genitals on their OnlyFans, since that’s not something they’re interested in, which has not impacted their ability to engage an audience.

Getting into sex work can feel like an isolating experience, as very few resources and supports are available. Molly Jo Parton, a selfdescribed super-nerdy introvert from Toronto, started in-person sex work after her sociology undergraduate degree. “I went on a few dates with somebody who ended up telling me they do sex work.

It’s something that I’ve always been interested in, but I never knew anyone into it or how to start – it’s not like there’s an easy guide.

I wish I had started so much earlier, but all of the fear I had went away pretty quickly.”

Sarah was lucky enough to be employed during the pandemic, but her partner was not: “Employment stability was rough.… We lost a lot of income and I thought to myself, ‘What can I do to It is perhaps the perception and treatment of sex work as being supplement this income loss?’ and ‘Would this be good for me, my ‘less than’ that has made for a very protective community of sex mental health?’” When Sarah began on OF, her partner was very workers who look after each other. Given the difficulty of accessing supportive about the boundaries she set and even gave her a ring light. basic employment protections and resources, this community 18

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As has become obvious through the copious amount of screen time that’s now part of our routines, the pandemic represented a change in the way we all live and work (no matter what our line of employment). Our need for connection and intimacy, however, did not change. In fact, as a result of months in social isolation, many of us have never been hornier for reciprocal care and touch.

These ‘new’ demands for intimacy and connection started to be reflected, in their own ways, within sex work.

Perhaps to nobody’s surprise, isolation has really highlighted that we’re social beings who crave connection, feelings of belonging and community. Sadie is a full-time sex worker from Alberta. She’s on OF, SextPanther, StreamMate and ManyVids, but she prefers more interaction-based platforms.

“On SextPanther – my main platform, where people can pay by message just to talk – it can get to a point where we’re connecting, we’ve got some chemistry, and it’s actually really enjoyable for both of us. And I will sell a monthly package for a girlfriend experience, and then someone can message me whenever they want, they can share pictures, they can flirt. It’s actually really fun for me as long as I like the person. And, honestly, only people that I like ask for it, because the chemistry has to be real for it to work. That has been my favourite thing, getting to know people and being the person they turn to when they wanna chat. Obviously more sexual stuff comes up, but it’s definitely more than that; it’s a genuine connection.”

Although most of Molly Jo’s in-person clients have been cis and straight-passing guys, she also sees a lot of couples and goes on dates with people from any gender and sexuality. About two months before the pandemic really hit, she started online sex work through OF, ManyVids and PlexStorm, but she prefers in-person dates: “There’s the intimacy and connection, [and] I’m also touchy-feely, so I like being able to touch people. It pays more, and I don’t have to go through editing videos and all of the extra work that comes with online stuff.”

On the other side of the spectrum, Ryley started off their sex work journey three years ago as a stripper at a club, and now does camming and OF. Like others, Ryley found that virtual spaces provided an opportunity to better set their boundaries in their own terms. On online platforms, they say, “I was more able to create content based on what I wanted to show. And [I had] a little bit more agency in terms of my clients.”

How does the rise in virtual sex work spaces impact the future of the profession? When asked how she sees the future of sex work, Naira Kitty, an OF creator, says, “I see [OF] opening a lot more sites like it. Now, a bigger conversation is being had to decriminalize sex work. It’s just the start of people legitimizing this form of work. I’m very excited.”

Although the need to innovate to more of an online context may have sparked new opportunities and spaces for connection, it has simultaneously created new barriers, for a field of work already marginalized and criminalized. In a society that already looks down

on sex workers, social media can play a role that further censors and oppresses groups not seen as profitable.

Critically reflecting how sex work interacts with media, Naira adds: “It is the sex workers and the true allies who have been able to build this community and do so much work to push it to a place where we’re now able to have these conversations. As much as I love Instagram, it is a huge business tool today. The concept of ‘influencer’ and ‘lifestyle’ started from, I think, queer and Black sex workers…. On every level, sex workers using their social media to maybe advertise ‘come down to the strip club’ or advertise their outfits, right? And now it’s become this huge business; being an influencer is a career now. And…the irony is that Instagram makes money off of that now. They’re now censoring the sex workers that are working from the ground up, but allow for certain creators who they can benefit off of to post similar – if not more explicit – things, because they may be a celebrity, and Instagram is probably making money off of them.… The problem with that is that it puts a lot of smaller creators and sex work creators at risk. Because when you make your money online, your social media platforms are part of your business, your audience, and that reach. The censorship and the shadow banning of those creators essentially hurts their livelihood. Most of those creators that are censored on these apps are queer, racialized sex workers.”

Undeniably, we could have been more prepared for this pandemic, by doing things that sex workers have advocated for decades, such as de-criminalizing sex work and ensuring sex workers are protected like any other worker. Ryley says, “I think we need more access to sexual education. Not just LGBTQ+ folks, but also how to explore sexuality in a pandemic. There are still many elements of sexual well-being that go on whether you’re behind a screen or in person. We see all of this information about how to practise safe sex, but safe sex goes beyond protection and testing and these other things. I would love to see more support in terms of sexual and mental well-being, not just for sex work, but sex in general.”

During the pandemic, when many services became appointmentonly, access to HIV and STI testing was more limited due to lack of walk-in options. “The big issue with COVID is that the access to walk-in services and anonymous HIV testing has become a lot harder to find,” says Molly Jo. Finally, providing some advice on what helped her stay well during the pandemic, Molly Jo says, “Getting tested pretty regularly is something that I’ve always done. It is really helpful in terms of keeping the sexual wellness side, but it also helps with your mind, not to worry about it. That’s also kind of why I got prescribed PrEP, to take more control over my body – which, this last year with COVID, I felt like I had no control over. Both mentally, physically, all of it, it felt really good.”

Pay sex workers. Respect sex workers. Support the sex worker movement in Canada.

This article was written in collaboration with Freddie, a virtual service that is making HIV PrEP accessible and inclusive through virtual care.

THOMAS IGLESIAS TROMBETTA (they/he) is an immigrant from São Paulo, Brasil, based in Alberta. Thomas has been working in PrEP health promotion, LGBTQ2S+ advocacy, as well as research. They are passionate about gender and sexuality liberation social movements. Today, Thomas is the community manager at Freddie, a virtual service offering HIV PrEP to LGBTQ2S+ communities.

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has been keeping itself safe from stigma and violence. Many OF creators, and sex workers in general, have claimed that they felt empowered to start off in the field because of the support and relationships they built.

RELATIONSHIPS

THE

SACRED CAMARADERIE OF

FUCK-BUDDIES Some people are frankly not ready to be in a serious relationship…so….

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

By Jesse Boland

“A friend to breed is a friend indeed,” or however the saying goes.

For those of us who find ourselves floating through the banal purgatory between romantic relationships while simultaneously feeling exhausted by the tumultuous roller coaster of casual dating, it can be comforting to find stability in a regular fucking. Therein lies the beauty of an adored fuck-buddy, where the relationship 20

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is rooted solely in the purpose of sex, with no expectations for further intimacies outside of the allotted dick-appointment time slot.

Without putting too much significance on labels when it comes to human sexuality, it is important to first spell out the difference between a fuck-buddy and a “friends with benefits.” Friends with

For those of you who are reading this and re-evaluating your current standings with your recurring sexual partners, here’s the easiest way to think of it: if you view the partner in question as more of a pal you love spending time with but also enjoy having the occasional romp with, that is a friend with benefits. If it is someone whose company you strongly enjoy but only see within the confines of a bedroom/living room/kitchen/stairwell of the Ryerson library/wherever else spontaneous sex may occur, that is what we call a fuck-buddy.

What if you’re reading this and thinking, “But wait a minute, Jesse.

I know someone who I hook up with a lot and have weekend-long sleepovers with, but we also sometimes hang out one-on-one for walks and dinner where we don’t even have sex. What’s that called?” Congratulations, my friend, you have just found out you are dating someone. Please prepare them a lovely shrimp alfredo for dinner this weekend, and introduce them to your mother already.

Frankly, many single people are not ready to be in a serious relationship at this given moment in their lives, whether because of their hectic work life, their current emotional state, or simply because they can’t even understand themselves so certainly can’t expect another person to figure them out. But with that being said, the hoe life is also not for the faint of heart (or sphincter).

Mercurial promiscuity carries with it a draining exhaustion from the chronically repetitive cycle of small talk, having to answer what you’re “into,” and synchronizing of each other’s schedules to determine when you are both mutually free to meet up. And that’s before you even get to the fun exhaustion!

So therein lies the question: where are single people expected to find their sought-after intimacy? Are affection, tenderness, physical pleasure, sensuality and erotic excitement privileges awarded only to those who are fortunate enough to have found a kindred spirit, while the rest of us continue to search for ours? Is loneliness not a harrowing enough affliction to bear that it must also be married by relentless horniness?

What makes the dalliance of a fuck-buddy relationship so fantastical is the simplistic bond over sharing the gift of erotic pleasure with another person without the peripheral expectations that may come from a romantic relationship or a friends with benefits situation.

Instead, it offers a rare freedom for two individuals to test the boundaries of their sexual imagination with a partner with whom they have established a supportive trust. This can be a wonderful opportunity for individuals to redefine their own sexual identity in ways they had not dared before: for tops to practise bottoming; for subs to explore being dominant; for cumdumpster pig-bottoms to actually cuddle for once. All of that can vastly expand one’s

sexual repertoire and sense of identity as a sensual being, which will lead to being a significantly better sexual partner for future relationships down the line.

What perhaps is most vital from a fuck-buddy relationship is the testing of setting and understanding boundaries with one another not just as sexual partners but as respectful adults. While their role in your life may be solely for your own sexual gratification, your fuck-buddy is in fact an actual human being with their own lives outside of the confines of your boudoir. They’re not just a piece of meat (even if they like it when you call them that during sex).

As with all relationships, consistent communication is the backbone of a healthy fuck-buddy dynamic, to ensure that you are both on the same page and that both parties understand the expectations within the relationship. Too often people see the role of a fuckbuddy as a stepping stone before evolving into a more serious romantic connection – which is definitely possible – but if that’s what you think, it is imperative to make sure your partner is of the same understanding. Otherwise, you are essentially Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character in 500 Days of Summer, who (as Twitter discourse likes to remind us every six months) is actually the real villain of that film!

Sadly, it must also be remembered that fuck-buddy relationships are inherently finite and must eventually reach their post-climax conclusion. Whether it’s because one of you begins a serious relationship with another person, or the passion runs out between the two of you, or things just get too complicated (and don’t think that can’t happen because it’s “just” hooking up), it eventually comes time to stop getting up to get them a towel and to just throw in the towel already.

Most people are surprised at just how devastating this separation can feel, but why shouldn’t it be? You felt sad when your favourite barista at the Starbucks on your block transferred to another location on the other side of town, so why wouldn’t you feel bummed at the loss of someone who made you cum on the regular? Your fuck-buddy was someone your brain associated with feelings of immense pleasure and excitement for a lengthy period of time, and it’s practically impossible for you to feel a withdrawal of serotonin from never again feeling the titillating buzz in your pocket from their “come over” text trickling through your phone up your thigh.

You’re allowed to feel sad that someone you didn’t see yourself having a future with isn’t in your present anymore.

Ultimately, some people are meant to come into our lives for a good time and not a long time. Whether they were a placeholder until something more serious came along, or a sense of comfort when you sought the warm embrace of another person’s touch, or just someone who could write the lyrics to “O Canada” on your asshole with their tongue, our fuck-buddies brought something into our lives that we needed most at that moment. Often they’re some of the more overlooked characters in our lives, who will not be mentioned during stories told to our grandchildren or immortalized in safe-for-work photos together, but they are nonetheless people who we established a rare kinship with on the basis of trust, respect and intimacy. They allowed us to be free and to feel beautiful while we were with them, and requested only that we do the same. After all, a fuck-buddy who isn’t your buddy is just a real fucker.

JESSE BOLAND is that gay kid in class who your English teacher always believed in. He’s a graduate of English at Ryerson University with a passion for giving a voice to people who don’t have data on their phones and who chases his dreams by foot because he never got his driver’s licence.

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benefits refers to two pre-existing friends who, in addition to enjoying the regular social activities that come with friendship, consciously choose to participate in sexual intercourse with one another without expanding into something more romantic and intimate. A fuck-buddy, on the other hand, refers to an individual with whom the foundation of your relationship is based solely on sexual rendezvous without branching out into something more emotionally intimate such as a romantic partnership or platonic friendship – simply put, it’s someone you enjoy hooking up with but who is also cool to chat with as well. In essence, a fuck-buddy is almost more of an acquaintance with benefits.

SEXUAL RACISM

Dream When You Dare To

Bigger Than “Preference” It’s obvious that racist attitudes in love and sex are rooted in structural racism, and yet people tend to (and maybe prefer to?) personalize it: “Oh, it’s just my preference”

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

By Jaime Woo

Recently I was asked for my dream celebrity threesome. A flurry of names popped into my head: Idris Elba! Patti Harrison! Gael Garcia Bernal! Kade Gottlieb! All great choices, but in the end I had to whittle down my choices: Harry Shum Jr., whom I’ve crushed on since he premiered on Glee’s fourth episode, and Ludi Lin, recently of Mortal Kombat and the 2019 Black Mirror episode “Striking Vipers.” The visual of Harry, Ludi and I – maybe after a long bike ride, sweaty in our gear.… I had to stop writing for a spell just to recover from the thought of it.

The first Mortal Kombat film came out in 1995, as did the Sega arcade game Fighting Vipers, which the Black Mirror episode’s 22

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title nods to. I was in high school, and the celebrity who soaked up a lot of my attention was Chris O’Donnell, who personified peak twink as Robin in Batman Forever. The year before it was Brad Pitt, in Interview with a Vampire; the year after, it was all about Leonardo DiCaprio, dripping wet, in Romeo & Juliet. Can you say “trend alert”?

There’s no denying the magnetism of these men, and yet my tastes back then ran a tad same-y. Growing up in the suburbs outside Toronto, they were built in the same vein as the jocks and student council presidents of my high school. Like many ’90s kids, I grew up watching the puckish Zack Morris on Saved By The Bell, whose

Thinking back, I remember very few crushes on men of colour even though I myself am of Asian descent, and if you’d asked me why, I’d have confidently said, “I just don’t find them that attractive.”

Imagine how silly I would have felt knowing that Mark-Paul Gosselaar is biracial with Indonesian heritage. Speaking with Jimmy Fallon, the actor quipped, “People don’t know that Zack Morris is half-Asian!”

What’s interesting is that I internalized the idea so strongly that I believed it stemmed from within. The feelings seemed indisputable: looking at one type of person aroused me, while looking at another didn’t. What would it mean to not be able to trust my own sense of attraction? It would take a handful of years to reboot my ideas around attraction, and then many more after that to understand how societal norms informed the perceptions I absorbed.

“ Our upbringing can literally make us see things differently.”

Many of my Asian friends and family would date people of Asian descent, and, in my 20s, it wasn’t uncommon for me to be asked (by Asians and non-Asians alike) why I didn’t. At first, I’d get defensive, feeling like I was doing something wrong, and then I switched tactics and tried to play it off as a joke. “I wish I was lucky enough to be attracted to Asians, but I’m just not!” At some point, though, I had been asked the question often enough to actually consider it. Why didn’t I find Asian men attractive?

It didn’t feel satisfying enough for me to simply file it as “just a preference.” After all, preferences have to come from somewhere.

I love Motown music because growing up I listened to it nonstop in my parents’ car, and to this day whenever the Supremes or the Temptations come on, my heart swells. The music reminds me of those idyllic childhood days. I’m frugal because my grandparents came to Canada with near-nothing, and their penny-pinching snaked through my parents and then to me.

That doesn’t mean we’re devoid of free will and are simply making choices based on our histories. However, it’s equally unwise to ignore that we are the sum of our experiences. If I didn’t understand what it meant for my grandmother to be a poor, racialized immigrant, I might dismiss her tendency to worry, rather than seeing it as an intelligent response to the uncertainty she faced in Canada – and how, given that she helped to raise me, that habitual worry at times has seeped into my own behaviour.

Our upbringing can literally make us see things differently. One of my favourite facts to learn this year was how the Russian language distinguishes between light blue and dark blue, making them distinct colours, similar to the way English speakers separate pink and red. Would we say that the difference between pink and red is a personal preference, or is it wrapped up in our cultural understanding of the world?

Without inspecting the forces that have shaped us, we can mistake external influences for our own. It’s only been in my 30s that I started to examine how history shaped my early lack of desire for people who looked like me.

Anti-Asian sentiment reaches far back in Canada to the 1880s, during the time of migrant labourers working in BC on the railroad, extending to the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1923. For Chinese people specifically, it wasn’t until the introduction of the points system in the mid-1960s that immigration became more accessible. It’s necessary to ask: what does it mean for a group of people to face such antipathy in a nation, and how does that trickle down to those living under its laws?

It was a similar story down south. “Yellow peril” forced the creation of Chinatowns, and led to the lynchings of Filipino migrant labourers, as well as hate crimes against the Japanese during both the Second World War and in the 1980s, when the American automobile industry suffered from increased competition from the likes of Mitsubishi, Honda and Nissan. I didn’t know any of this growing up, but there’s a throughline of Asian immigrants not belonging that I understood every time I was told to go back where I came from.

It took me much introspection to understand that this antipathy was not directed just towards me as an individual, but to anyone who looked like me. It was systemic prejudice – and when I reflected on how it wasn’t just specific people of Asian descent I lacked desire for, but an entire category of people, that’s when it clicked.

I had to confront that I was upholding a belief that wasn’t my own, because there’s no plausible reason why anyone should write off the appeal of literally billions of people.

An enlightening separation is between exhibiting racist behaviour and being a racist. No one wants to be viewed as a racist, so much so that many of us will label how our desires are shaped by a racist culture as just a meaningless preference. It’s embarrassing to acknowledge that something like who we find attractive can be manipulated. But it was freeing for me to realize that living under a racist structure means I will reflect some of that through my actions –the key then is to work to actively dismantle that structure.

Once I let go of that embarrassment, it opened up a world of possibility. I began to examine how I felt about other racialized groups, about body types, about disabilities, about age, about expressions of femininity and masculinity. It made me realize how much I had to gain by letting go of a fixed mindset around desire.

It didn’t happen overnight. How could it, when I was bathed in those noxious ideas for decades? In shedding those oppressive ideas, those “preferences,” instead of feeling less like myself, I feel like myself more than ever – and I like myself more than ever. And should Harry Shum Jr. or Ludi Lin come calling (or Idris or Patti or Gael or Kade or Mark-Paul or Dashaun Wesley or Kanoa Igarashi or Jacob Collier or Flume…honestly, the list is long!), I’m ready.

JAIME WOO is a writer based in Toronto, focusing on the intersection of technology and culture. He’s best-known for his Lambda Literary-nominated book, Meet Grindr, dissecting how the design of the infamous app influences user behaviour.

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blond hair evoked the same desirability as Marilyn Monroe, Farrah Fawcett and Pamela Anderson.

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BILAL BAIG

IS IS BREAKING BREAKING BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES Baig's groundbreaking series Sort Of, which deals with the struggles of trying to reconcile all the labels we create for ourselves, will premiere on CBC’s streaming service this October

Photo by Maxholio

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

By Christopher Turner

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“We know that LGBTQ audiences are a powerful and invested audience – and a quickly growing one – as we see more and more Bilal Baig is helping to change the future of representation on people empowered to live their authentic lives. The power, passion Canadian television. Baig – who is Muslim, identifies as queer and growth of LGBTQ audiences proves that if studios wish to be and transfeminine, and uses they/them pronouns – will make successful in retaining and expanding fans, they must tell meaningful history when CBC’s Sort Of debuts this fall, making Baig the queer and trans stories,” Megan Townsend, GLAAD’s director of first queer/trans actor of South Asian and Muslim backgrounds to entertainment research and analysis, said in a statement at the time. be cast in the lead role of a Canadian primetime television series.

It’s an important step in Canada’s television journey, which has GLAAD has previously praised the quality inclusion storylines of been consistently growing in the maturity of its stories so that all Canadian TV shows that air in the US – particularly shows like audiences can better relate.

Degrassi, Sophie and Schitt’s Creek. But there is still an increased demand for new content that represents and invests in marginalized As diversity has continued to grow across media over the past communities. CBC has arguably been leading the way with regular decade, we’ve definitely seen LGBTQ representation blossoming characters in scripted primetime series who identify as part of the on screens. Of course, while we’re seeing more diversity and LGBTQ community. They will be taking that lead a step further in inclusion efforts everywhere – from the workplace to what we see October, when Sort Of premieres on their streaming service, CBC on TV – there's still a long way to go.

Gem, followed by the series broadcasting on television beginning in November.

South of the border, GLAAD’s ‘Where We Are On TV’ reports annually on the quantity and quality of queer representation on The show is a half-hour comedy-drama that follows Sabi (played screens, reminding everyone that representation matters. In their by Baig) as they navigate life as a 25-year-old nonbinary person 2021 report, which looked at all 44 major films released in 2020, living in Toronto. As well as starring, Baig also serves as cothe advocacy group found that overall LGBTQ representation creator, executive producer and writer. Not too bad for their first increased among the major studio films; however, for the fourth foray into television. year in a row, there were no transgender or nonbinary characters in theatrical releases. While the report noted that television had Baig grew up in Mississauga; their first play, Acha Bacha, had its progressed in both its inclusion and portrayal of transgender and world premiere in 2018 and has been published by Playwrights nonbinary people, the major film studios seem to remain stagnant. Canada Press. A writer by nature, in recent years they have helped develop and facilitate creative community-based programs and workshops for youth in under-resourced neighbourhoods in Toronto through non-profits such as Story Planet, Rivers of Hope, Unit 2 and the Paprika Festival.

We spoke to Baig this summer while they were coming out of the pandemic-enforced lockdown, finishing up production on the show and preparing for the fall launch. Here’s what they had to say about life, finding inspiration and authenticity, and, of course, CBC’s groundbreaking Sort Of. Tell us about Sort Of. Sabi – played by me! – works as a bartender at a queer bookstore bar and as a nanny for a family whose world changes when the mother of the family they nanny for gets into a serious bike accident. Along the way, Sabi also faces truths in their own biological family, in their friendship life and their romantic life too. A coming-of-age story, my series is about how each and every one of us is in transition.

And you worked together with Fab Filippo, who some of our readers may remember from Queer As Folk?

Yes! Fab and I co-created the show, and Fab directed six out of eight of the episodes.

Photo by Keri Anderson

How did the show come about?

Fab and I worked on a play together as actors, and through that process learnt about each other that we both write as well. We were curious about what it could mean to create a television show together, and when Fab proposed that the lead character should be inspired by me, I asked him where he would be in the storytelling.

That’s when the character of Paul [the father of the family Sabi nannies for] emerged, and after that point, story ideas flowed between the two of us. We shot a sizzle [a short pitch video to Bilal Baig (as Sabi)

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The category is…breaking boundaries.

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give the idea a visual] over two days with the support of Sienna Films and a few months after that, we were greenlit by CBC for an eight-episode series order.

Who was your inspiration for Sabi?

Aspects of my life, as well as Fab’s life, definitely served as inspiration for the story. Elements of the story as well as the character of Sabi – who was initially based entirely on me – really transformed through the process in the writers’ room, where we had multiple perspectives informing the world of the show. Ultimately, during filming, playing Sabi really felt like playing a character, and I loved that!

From what I’ve seen so far, Sabi is out there living their most authentic life. I’m wondering what does living your most authentic life mean to you, personally?

To me, living your most authentic life means making choices that are always honest and real. It requires me to constantly be discovering who I am, being open to change all the time at any second, and it means giving myself the time and space to really make sure my actions are grounded in integrity.

What advice would you give to someone wanting to live a more authentic life?

Oh, I’m such a bad advice-giver! I’m more of a listener and question-asker. The best answer I’ve got is probably asking yourself who you want to be in the world and what you want to do. If your current reality doesn’t align with the answers that come up for you, perhaps beginning to take the first steps to start to feel some alignment between who you are and who you want to be might be something to consider. Easier said than done, I know!

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Back to Sort Of.… Why did you decide to set the series in Toronto and not, say, Berlin?

At the most fundamental level, Fab and I are both Torontonians, so it just felt right to set the show in the city we know. On a story level, Toronto is where all of Sabi’s worlds – that they, for the most part, have compartmentalized – can deliciously collide: nanny world, queer/trans world, Pakistani mom world. It felt very natural to explore these worlds intersecting with one another in a city where so much is going on and so many different people live together.

You’ve included real members of Toronto's queer community as extras on the show and used a lot of music created by Canadian queer artists. Was that important to you?

Yes, that was so important! It comes back to authenticity. We wanted these queer and trans spaces to feel real. We wanted to showcase the beauty of our communities. And we wanted the music to feel fresh and full of energy, and we wanted it to be in sync with the specific tone of the show, and that tone is somewhat hard to put in a neat box – and that was definitely intentional!

Okay…I have to ask.… What are some of your favourite Canadian TV shows?

I probably have commitment issues because I have a hard time seeing shows all the way to the end – trust me, I’m working on it! – though I did consume Orphan Black pretty quickly. As a kid, I remember Radio Free Roscoe having a big impact on me. I loved how dramatic their teen lives were and loved how rebellious they seemed because they started their own underground radio station in their high school!

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What was it like switching from theatre to TV? It was definitely an adjustment. Such different mediums that operate at such different paces. Writing-wise, it feels like there are more rules around how to structure a TV episode versus a play. Performance-wise, filming out of order while also being the lead of the show was a completely new experience for me! It was absolutely challenging, but really thrilling too.

As we know, our community as a whole regularly experiences a disproportionate amount of harassment and violence. Thinking about recent events, I’m wondering about your thoughts on using your voice and your platform right now?

I’m currently in the process of working with a designer to build my own website. One of its functions is to highlight the work I do, which includes my community work. On the site, we’ll feature trans women and other trans-feminine people and the amazing things they’re doing for their communities. And we’ll also have a ‘community bulletin’ page, which will highlight resources and amplify organizations committed to supporting trans folks, as well as informing folks of cool and fun events that may be of interest to them. I think there is such power and responsibility in having a public platform, and I’d like to share what I care about with anyone who’s down to learn more!

What do you want people to know about you that they might not already know?

I’m pretty shy and nervous and mostly pretty introverted! Approach with caution!

What’s next for you?

I’ve got some plays that I’ve been writing for a few years I’d like to return to. But I also love procrastination. Beyond that, I’m keeping it pretty low-key and prioritizing rest and slowing down as much as possible!

Who is inspiring you these days?

I think I’ve probably watched every video of Alexandria OcasioCortez speaking that’s out there on YouTube. Laverne Cox represents all that is good and pure in this world to me. My trans and nonbinary friends inspire me. I worked with several young students virtually through my community-based work these past few months, and it really inspired me to see them showing up to our workshops while navigating school and life in a pandemic.

What do you want viewers to take away from the series and from your work overall?

Sort Of explores the idea of what it means to truly be seen by someone else. My greatest hope is that viewers can see themselves in these characters or, conversely, feel seen by the characters. And it’d be so cool if when we see each other, we see the person in front of us the way they want to be seen, the way they deserve to be seen.

Sort Of premieres on CBC's streaming service, CBC Gem, beginning Tuesday, October 5. The series then broadcasts on CBC TV with back-to-back episodes beginning Tuesday, November 9, at 9 pm local (9:30 pm NT). ...

Photo by Yann Gracia

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CHRISTOPHER TURNER acted as guest editor for this issue of IN Magazine. He is a Toronto-based writer, editor and lifelong fashionisto with a passion for pop culture and sneakers. Follow him on social media at @Turnstylin.

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Animal Therapy Hunky animal wrangler Seth Falk from Hands on Exotics, who also moonlights as one of your favourite Pit Crew members from Canada's Drag Race, slips on pieces from a few fashion forward brands and poses with a few of his friends PHOTOGRAPHER: Miguel Arenillas WARDROBE STYLIST: Kamla A. Blake WARDROBE STYLIST ASSISTANT: Erynn Puffer MAKEUP ARTIST: Sandra Yang

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ANIMALS PROVIDED BY: Hands on Exotics (www.handsonexotics.com)

FASHION

Seth with Van Gogh and Sophia, two live red-tailed cockatoos JACKET: Kwesiya PANTS: Kwesiya

Seth with Artemius, a live African lion DRESS: Maasai Market 29

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Seth with a South African giraffe (taxidermy), provided by Skull store JACKET: Gervacy PANTS: Gervacy

FASHION Seth with Dracula, a live Brazilian salmon pink birdeater tarantula JACKET: Kwesiya 31

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PHOTOGRAPHER: Ivan Otis CREATIVE DIRECTOR: Paul Langill WARDROBE STYLIST & MAKEUP ARTIST: Gelareh Kamazani HAIR STYLIST AND WIG DESIGNER: Brian Phillips For World Salon MODELS: Anna (Plutino Models), Jo (B&M Models), Justin Shin (Ciotti Models) Special thanks to Studio311.ca

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Intricate Prints Beautiful designs and opulent fabrics pay homage to East Asia this season

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PRECIOUS STONE EARRINGS: Rita Tesolin GENDER-NEUTRAL LONG-SLEEVED BODY GLOVE SWEATERS: House Of Dwir

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e

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JACKET AND PANTS: Vandal BODYSUIT: Victoria's Secret BRACELET: Rita Tesolin

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FASHION

GENDER-NEUTRAL LONG-SLEEVE DRESS SHIRT: House Of Dwir PANTS: LeatherCult NECK SCARF: Chinatown

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PRECIOUS STONE NECKLACE: Rita Tesolin GENDER-NEUTRAL SHEER BLOUSE: Hilary Macmillan

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FASHION

TWO-TONED VEGAN LEATHER JACKET: Xian Clothing PANTS: Hip And Bone NECKLACE: Rita Tesolin HEAD SCARF: Chinatown 37

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TWO TONED VEGAN LEATHER JACKET: Xian Clothing TRIBAL ACCESSORIES: Rita Tesolin HEAD BAND: Chinatown

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FASHION

GENDER-NEUTRAL BLACK LACE TOP: Sandra Mansour VEGAN LEATHER BELTED COAT: Hilary Macmillan SKIRT: Silvian Heach WATCH: Adidas PRECIOUS STONE EARRINGS AND BRACELET: Rita Tesolin INDIGO SATIN GLOVES: Topshop GRAPE STOCKINGS: H&M

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JACKET: Windsmoor BLOUSE: Huntington SKIRT: Hilary Macmillan TIGHTS AND SOCKS: H&M SATIN GLOVES: Topshop WATCH: Disney 40 IN MAGAZINE BROOCH: Rita Tesolin SHOES: Aldo

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JACKET: Shelli Oh BLOUSE: House Of Dwir PANTS: Xian Clothing PRECIOUS STONE NECKLACE: Rita Tesolin 41

POLITICS & CULTURE

Canada Is A Leader In LGBTQ Rights Advocacy – But It Could Be Doing A Lot More There is a lot to be proud of, but there is still plenty of room to do more

By Adam Zivo

Over the past few decades, LGBTQ rights have become entrenched within much of the Global North. Though a backlash against these rights has seriously undermined progress in some areas, particularly in Eastern Europe, social acceptance of LGBTQ people has been reassuringly resilient – with the exception of trans rights, which remain contentious. As a result, some Western countries have begun exploring supporting LGBTQ rights abroad by integrating them within larger foreign policy and international development frameworks.

Since the early 2010s, and in the past five years especially, Canada has been a leader in international LGBTQ rights advocacy. Despite this leadership, Canada’s commitments in this area are still in their infancy. Few actual barriers stand in the way of the Canadian government offering more support for international advocacy – and so much more can, and should, be done.

In the early 2010s, Canada began supporting global LGBTQ rights by vocally criticizing foreign states that oppress queer communities. This was epitomized by Canada’s condemnation of Russia – a country which, in 2013, passed several anti-LGBTQ laws that functionally criminalized public LGBTQ existence (and crushed related rights activism). To a lesser extent, Canada also condemned African states that were similarly homophobic, such as Uganda, and engaged in quiet diplomacy in situations where public condemnation would be counterproductive.

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Supplementing this, Canada’s embassies began providing aid to foreign activists, though in a manner that was highly decentralized and lacked a strategic vision. The core of this support drew from the Canadian Fund For Local Initiatives (CFLI), which enables Canadian embassies to finance small-scale projects with grants that have an average value of $27,000. In 2014, Canada included LGBTQ rights as a priority area for CFLI grants. Consequently, at least $700,000 was disbursed that year, often in support of awareness campaigns that either targeted prejudices or called attention to local, pro-LGBTQ services.

Canada’s embassies supplemented their financial patronage with other kinds of support, such as providing space for LGBTQ activists to convene and organize programming. The value of this should not be underestimated in homophobic countries, where safe places to gather are hard to find. Some embassies also went out of their way to invite LGBTQ activists to non-LGBTQ embassy events, bolstering their credibility by making them more visible within diplomatic and political circles.

That Canada began championing LGBTQ rights abroad during the Harper years may be surprising to some, but it is not altogether shocking. John Baird, who served as minister of foreign affairs from 2011 to 2015, is a gay man and, prior to retiring from politics, was known for being an outspoken advocate on gay rights. The ability of well-positioned individuals to shift party priorities is very real, as was seen more recently by the activism of Eric Duncan, 42

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an openly gay conservative MP who was instrumental in turning Conservatives into loud critics of Canada’s gay blood ban.

Yet the influence of one person can only go so far And, looking at things more broadly, Harperite pro-LGBTQ diplomacy can likely also be explained by conservative commitments to moral absolutism and patriotism. Unconstrained by cultural relativism, condemnations of foreign human rights abuses can align with conservative values by affirming national moral supremacy (for better and worse).

The real problem with the Harperite approach, though, was that it was predominantly reactive and mostly concerned itself with the most egregious forms of oppression. Sure, Harper’s Canada would stand up for LGBTQ communities fearing imminent violence, but it had few tools to proactively support foreign LGBTQ communities beyond this. Crucially, it did not seek to nurture activist capacities and autonomy. The funding provided by the CFLI grants was simply too small, and, being project-specific, could not support the kind of long-term strategic planning needed to cultivate human rights movements in hostile environments.

To use a metaphor: Harper’s Canada held a shield above foreign activists, but did not provide them with the food they needed so they could eventually hold this shield themselves.

So in came the Trudeau government – the emphatic and proud patron of the marginalized. Based on the rhetoric used by this government, one would expect exploding investment into global LGBTQ advocacy. Yet, for years, the status quo remained largely the same. The prime minister made well-meaning speeches about the importance of LGBTQ rights, but provided few concrete commitments behind his words as embassies continued to fill funding gaps in whatever small ways they could.

New financial support eventually arrived, but it was belated and much smaller than it ought to have been.

Comparing funding for LGBTQ and women’s rights In 2019, four years after being elected with a majority government and in response to persistent lobbying by Canadian LGBTQ activists, the Trudeau government announced a commitment of $30 million towards global LGBTQ rights, which would be spread out over five years (so an annual average of $6 million). Afterwards, federal funding for global LGBTQ advocacy would be increased to $10 million. This funding pot, which falls within Canada’s international aid budget and is slated to begin being disbursed in 2021, is approximately five times larger than funding provided by the CFLI (which is still ongoing).

Crucially, large swaths of this new funding are earmarked for projects that could build organizing capacity for international rights advocates, empowering them to become influential political players within their own countries. A total of $10 million is dedicated towards

LGBTQ advisor position, was defeated in the 2019 election, the role disappeared with him.

Canada has also had an LGBTQ2 Secretariat since 2017, but it Though this new funding is commendable and a vast improvement is tucked away within Heritage Canada, and, as such, it has a on the previous status quo, it is still insufficient. Six million domestic focus and lacks the political clout needed to effectively dollars a year may sound formidable, but Canada’s total annual champion LGBTQ issues abroad. According to Dignity Network international development budget is approximately $5 billion – so Canada, a better alternative would be to create an analogous entity, dedicated LGBTQ funding constitutes only 0.12 per cent of that or leadership position, within Global Affairs Canada (a department pie. In contrast, Canada’s Feminist International Assistance Policy, within the federal government that oversees international relations) launched in 2017, aims to commit 15 per cent of all Canadian – but that has not happened, despite lobbying from civil society. international aid to projects that specifically support women and gender equality.

In general, Powell argues that Canada needs to create more senior positions that can oversee the global LGBTQ file and, Granted, women compose a much larger proportion of the population more importantly, are designed to be durable so that Canada’s than LGBTQ people do (50 per cent versus 3.3 per cent), but the commitments to global LGBTQ advocacy remain stable even as funding gap remains even when adjusting for population differences: governments change over time. calculated per capita, LGBTQ-related programs receive only 12 per cent as much funding as feminist programming. This isn’t meant to Better tools for emergency evacuations frame things as a competition – especially given the intersections Powell notes that Canada could also better support LGBTQ between feminist and LGBTQ advocacy – but is only meant to communities abroad by providing more tools for emergency showcase how woefully low Canada’s investments into global evacuation of queer folks whose safety is threatened. He argues LGBTQ advocacy remain. that, as things stand now, Canadian support for persecuted LGBTQ communities tends to be too reactive, predominantly kicking Doug Kerr, executive director of Dignity Network Canada (a in when civil society actors in Canada aggressively lobby for national alliance of civil society organizations concerned with intervention. Powell would like to see more proactive policies international LGBTQ rights), characterizes Canada’s $30 million that provide LGBTQ people with clear paths for immigration and commitment as a promising start, but wants to see funding shorter wait times. substantially increased. Dignity Network Canada is advocating that Canada increase its LGBTQ commitments to 0.4 per cent of In July, Canada announced a new, dedicated refugee stream for its international development budget – more than tripling current human rights defenders. Through this program, Canada will be able funding and putting it on par with expenditure levels seen in to resettle up to 250 human rights defenders per year, including countries like Sweden and the Netherlands. their families. This program may prove to be invaluable for global LGBTQ activist circles, as it slightly reduces the risk of engaging One way that funding could be boosted, according to Kerr, is to in advocacy abroad. To be an LGBTQ activist in a homophobic integrate LGBTQ programming into Canada’s Feminist International country is to make oneself a target for violence. When activists Assistance Policy – which is something that Dignity Network know that they can flee to Canada if necessary, it provides a fail-safe Canada is currently lobbying for. Since feminist projects are better that may make them more comfortable with engaging in activism funded, allowing some of their budget to flow into LGBTQ projects that would otherwise be intolerably dangerous. could hypercharge support for queer communities without diluting Canada’s impact on more traditional kinds of feminist advocacy. We need more than words All of these suggestions reinforce the idea that Canada, though Call for a special LGBTQ ambassador/champion evidently a global leader in championing LGBTQ rights, could be Funding isn’t the only area where there can be improvement. doing much more. While Canada provides ample rhetorical support Dignity Network Canada is also advocating for Canada to appoint for global LGBTQ communities in all kinds of multilateral fora, a special LGBTQ ambassador who can champion LGBTQ issues its funding commitments remain far lower than what is provided internationally. This type of position has existed in the United by some of its allies. Its embassies continue to support activists States since 2015 (though it was left unfilled under the Trump around the world, but, in the absence of a larger strategic plan, this administration). The United Kingdom similarly appointed its first support is ultimately haphazard and inefficient. The only senior Special Envoy for LGBTQ issues in 2021 – and, tellingly, tasked LGBTQ-specific advocacy position that exists within the federal this envoy with working with the UK’s Minister for Women and government is relatively insulated from the instabilities of electoral Equalities to tackle global discrimination (a salient point for making politics, but it is also situated within a part of the bureaucracy Canadian feminist funding inclusive of LGBTQ issues). that has negligible influence on foreign policy. Meanwhile, there are no senior LGBTQ-specific policy positions within the federal Kimahli Powell, executive director of Rainbow Railroad, an government to oversee international LGBTQ issues. organization that helps LGBTQ people escape state-sponsored violence, agrees about the need for a special ambassador. He notes Canadians should be proud of their country’s leadership on LGBTQ that Canada had a special LGBTQ advisor to the prime minister rights, proud of how far Canada has come within the past 10 years, between 2016 and 2019, but, problematically, that role was and proud to live in a country where these rights receive crossdesigned for an MP, which made it vulnerable to political winds. partisan support. Yet pride should not distract Canadians from When Randy Boissonnault, the Liberal MP who held the special asking for more – because more is not just possible, but necessary.

ADAM ZIVO is IN Magazine’s politics and culture columnist. He is a Toronto-based social entrepreneur, photographer and analyst best known for founding the LoveisLoveisLove campaign.

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strengthening links between global activists, particularly between Canadian civil society actors and their global counterparts, so they can learn from one another and share resources where possible.

INSIGHT

SOCIAL MEDIA

HAS MADE US BLUNTER TALKING ABOUT SEX, BUT ALSO MORE LIGHTHEARTED TikTok has introduced a new nonjudgmental, conversational style for sexuality

By Paul Gallant

I knew the short-video social media app TikTok was doing something weird to the culture when I started seeing videos of teenage guys shamelessly joking with their mothers about getting “wrecked” by their boyfriends as their mothers either rolled their eyes at their sons or egged them on.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

The videos – so short, so simple – presumed a lot about these people: that these young gay guys were not only out to their families, but out about their sexual activity to their families and out about exactly which sexual activities/positions they were down with. The videos also suggest that the parents are comfortable wondering aloud about what might have caused their son to be walking funny. And all participants involved seemed not only to be casual about the mechanics of anal sex, but also unashamed at having millions of viewers see them chatting and joking about it.

to think about it. So I’d categorize sex and relationship gurus as “elites,” no matter how many dirty words they use.

Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram have done little, in my opinion, to evolve sex talk. Twitter contains both the educational and the pornographic categories of it – too much of both, probably. But TikTok has introduced a new lighthearted, nonjudgmental conversational style for sexuality. The easy-going approach often comes across more like people are talking about a meal, bad drivers or amateur softball than, say, pegging, masturbating or negotiating threesomes. Watching 15-second TikTok videos for a couple of hours can provide a map of the steamy side of contemporary queer life more vividly than a TV series, movie or novel.

Over the course of history, human cultures have vacillated back and forth between being uptight or explicit in how we talk about sex. In Volume 1 of his History of Sexuality, the late philosopher Michel Foucault wrote that at the beginning of the 17th century, “sexual practices had little need of secrecy; words were said without undue reticence, and things were done without too much concealment; one had a tolerant familiarity with the illicit.” Then, in the Victoria era that dominated the 19th century, “silence became the rule. The legitimate and procreative couple laid down the law.”

TikTok is not where you’d predict this would be happening. Owned by a Chinese company, it’s one of the most censorious social media platforms. But I think it’s the very constraint of that censorship that has forced content creators to frame queer sexual content in different ways. They have to be clever, they have to be playful, and then the algorithms push that clever and playful content to the top.

Creators communicate their ideas in such a devious way that, even if a creator doesn’t use a single word related to his genitalia, he can, at the end of the video, look at the camera, shrug and leave the viewer to come to the conclusion: “Oh, he’s saying he has a dick so big that his boyfriend dumped him!”

I would sort modern sex talk into roughly three categories: sex talk of the streets, which can be vulgar and salacious, often more about showing off than expressing real desire or wisdom; sex talk of the sheets, that is, between people having sex and therefore more functional than conversational; and sex talk of the elites, which is the clinical talk of educators, officials and counsellors, where “facilitating lubrication of the rectum” has all the lusty thrill of “during congealing, soot particles begin to stack,” from an automotive repair manual.

There is a learning curve to interpreting all the subliminal exhibitionism. When the #marrymejulietchallenge of last year started to show up on my “For You Page,” I first thought, “These guys are being corny with this old Taylor Swift song.” When Taylor sings “pulled out a ring,” the guys in the videos do a pantomime gesture like they’re opening a ring box. Then I noticed the pelvic thrusting part of #marrymejulietchallenge and how so many of the guys doing the dance were freeballing in their grey track pants. A TikTok’s purported purpose isn’t always the reason it’s popular.

Even in the era of the internet, and its supposed ability to empower TikTok censorship has produced mysterious phrases like “g4y” (easy people to share ideas and feelings previously considered unshareable, to decode), “Charmander” (a reference to a Pokéman character that these categories have held sway, though they sometimes overlap one creator substitutes for “cock”) and “babies” (in place of, um, in the realm of fan fiction, when misguided writers use grandiose cum). The literal words are usually innocent, but if you know the clinical language while grasping for erotic effect, and in the realm of code, the images placed in your head can be explicit and visceral. pornography, where functional sex talk becomes bravado, e.g., “Take that massive dick, bitch!” Modern advice columnists can be a little “When you consume your own seed,” says the text on Stevenstemjr69’s raunchy, sure, but always have an ethical POV: certain behaviours TikTok. “Don’t you feel silly, don’t you feel stupid, don’t you feel a are framed as “wrong” and others are “right.” The Dan Savages little ashamed.” Then he gives a “tiny bit” hand gesture. In another, and Daniel M. Laverys of the world never just put something out Stevenstemjr69 “wakes up ready go hard at the gym,” then “gets there to allow readers or listeners to decide for themselves what cheeks clapped instead.” In yet another, the text says, “To all the 44

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INSIGHT people who don’t have to slip a finger in to finish,” with the video And there’s still lot of boasting. Palm Springs couple Cam and ending with Steven turning to the camera and lip-syncing the words, Alex, @gaybrostube, are always posting about their insatiability: “I’m jealous,” to an extract from the Julia Michaels song “Issues.” “What’s the most down-bad you’ve ever been?” “I’ll start. One time he was travelling and I was so down-bad I beat off to his bit emoji.”

Sorry if that was confusing. Yes, it’s hard to recap TikToks, which mesh spoken word, text, gestures, snippets from popular songs Cam and Alex have an OnlyFans page, where you pay a monthly and spoken-word audio to get their point across. The audio, in fact, fee to watch more explicit content from them – which takes us to is passed around like a favourite bottle of poppers, with various another aspect of TikTok that makes it so easygoing about sex. So creators lip-syncing to the same soundtrack or adding unexpected many TikTok creators are porn stars, wannabe porn stars, actors, video images to well-known audio. This “passing around” of content personal trainers and life coaches, all of whom use the videos as – with the same formats and scripts repeated hundreds, perhaps commercials to attract customers for their paid work. And what do thousands, of times – can make twisted ideas seem downright these professions have in common? They’re dominated by attention normal. The first time you hear a creator joking about spitting on seekers and show-offs (might I say narcissists?). Most of them are his boyfriend, it might be startling. But TikTok loves to give you hardwired shameless – why wouldn’t they tell the world about a more of the same. So when the same piece of music and the same bad experience they had eating ass? And who but an obsessed format repeats the idea for days, a TikTok consumer might finally performer is going to spend so much of their awake time making end up thinking: I guess everybody’s doing it. The first teenager videos? For better or worse, these unabashed self-promoters now who talked about “getting wrecked” in front of his parents set up set the limits on what’s acceptable. a template for hundreds or thousands of others to do so, and at a certain point, people’s comfort levels change.

As crass as queer TikTok can be, we may be better off knowing the ways tops act selfishly or what makes bottoms impatient. Accessible There are a lot of top/bottom jokes on queer TikTok, which can honesty could, ultimately, help us get more of what we want out sometimes be quite graphic, with hot guys talking about their of our sex lives. As @spencer_wi puts it, addressing two tops who douching regimes or oral sex techniques. @butterflyxboy: “What’s “don’t want to top:” “I always follow what my heart says and my the difference between a mosquito and me? A mosquito stops heart says double penetration so bye.” sucking after you slap it.”

PAUL GALLANT is a Toronto-based writer and editor who writes about travel, innovation, city building, social issues (particularly LGBT issues) and business for a variety of national and international publications.

He’s done time as lead editor at the loop magazine in Vancouver as well as Xtra and fab in Toronto.

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TRAVEL

Lyon

In Love with

In the undisputed gastronomic capital of the world, I eat as much and as slowly as possible, savouring every second

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

By Doug Wallace

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I’m in Lyon, France, at the beyond-hip Mama Shelter boutique hotel, one of 15 in a growing international chain of chic hospitality, and I can’t stop looking at my cartoon self in the mirror. Such a clever selfie-promo ploy.

France’s third-largest city (after Paris and Marseille) is the starting point of my week-long river cruise down the Rhone on the Scenic Sapphire. I’ve arrived a bit early in order to (a) beat the jet lag before I embark, and (b) eat until I explode or develop the gout, whichever comes first.

There are more restaurants per head in this city of half a million than anywhere else in France – around 4,000. Its advanced culinary reputation is anchored to the 20 Michelin-star restaurants and to the traditional bouchons (bistros serving Lyonnaise specialties like sausages, duck pâté, roast pork and the famous fish dumplings or quenelles).

The biggest reason for all this gastro-adventure boils down to geography: Lyon is simply in just the right spot, at the confluence of the Rhone and Saône rivers, so it has been a hub for travellers for centuries, extending its gracious hospitality long before train travel became commonplace. Add to that the abundance of agricultural ingredients nearby: fresh fish, Bresse chicken and Charolais beef from the north, fresh vegetables and olive oil from the south, and pork from the mountains to the west. For wine, they’ve got the Beaujolais region to the north and the Côtes du Rhône to the south.

Perfect culinary storm, really – and despite the fact that I slept on a plane, I’m going out for lunch ASAP. I planned this all in advance, of course My first stop is walking distance from Mama Shelter, just over the river to the historic Brasserie Georges. I’m there right when the doors open at 11:30 so I can have my choice of the red leather banquettes amid the glamorous art deco interior. The restaurant has been filling diners with traditional French fare since 1836, with chair plaques commemorating some of the more famous

Left: Looking out over Lyon

faces: Jules Verne, the Lumière brothers, Auguste Rodin, Jean-Paul Sartre, Ernest Hemingway, Edith Piaf, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Collette, and so on.

I always select the prix-fixe in places like this, both for value and because it’s always a good bet. This is a busy lunch crowd, so the pace is swift, but the waiter senses I’m a lingering tourist and doesn’t rush me through a simple but succulent green salad, perfectly spiced steak tartare and pommes frites with mayonnaise – a trifecta I swear will be my death-row last meal. I wash it all down with a half bottle of grenache.

After a steak at lunch comes the lie-down, of course, but I use the jet lag as the excuse for kicking the maid out of my room so I can nap. She looks down at my distended stomach and quickly back up to my eyes with a little half-smile. She knows. No translations necessary; my belly is the language of lunch.

Two hours later, the alarm wakes me from a deep coma, one I force myself out of in order to better reset my inner clock. If I stay up until at least 10, I should be all right. I spend the rest of the afternoon thinking about dinner, but also exploring the neighbourhood of the 7th arrondissement, combing the socially diverse La Guillotière and the up-and-coming Jean-Macé, a district that is now luring students and young adults to its sprouting shops and restaurants, parks and pools.

As dinner hour approaches (even though it’s only been six hours since my steak-fest), I take my time staking out an outdoor table on Rue Pléney in front of Léon de Lyon and ready myself for another helping of traditional comfort fare. This place is also an icon, open since 1904, and it’s a hit with both tourists and locals (including French President Macron, apparently). I sink into a bowl of vichyssoise, remembering Edith Bunker telling Archie that if you heat it up, it cries. I then go with the Bresse chicken, poultry so famous it has its own appellation. After dozing off in a food daydream twirling my wine, trying to pinpoint the accents of the other diners, I cram a chocolate éclair filled with strawberries into my pie hole. Thenceforward, I am toast. The gay bars will have to wait for another day.

Above: Place Saint-Jean

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A Sylvester the Cat mask lends a bit of quirk to this hotel room, to be sure. I put it on immediately, wondering if anyone washes it.

TRAVEL

Time for a little sightseeing The next day, I’m off to breathe in the past. Lyon was founded by the Romans 2,000 years ago, evolving into a market town in the Middle Ages and eventually a leader in the silk industry in the mid1500s. The medieval and Renaissance auras of Old Lyon – one of the largest Renaissance-era areas in Europe after Venice – deliver narrow laneways, serene courtyards, artisanal ateliers and ample cafés in which to sit and watch the world go by.

I opt for a guided walking tour, which takes me through the neighbourhoods of Saint-Jean and Saint-Georges, and treats me to a traditional puppet show. We check out the traboules, secret corridors through buildings linking the cross streets in the Old City, built because there were few connecting streets running perpendicular to the river. They provide interesting tales for the tourists, being famously credited with helping to foil the Germans in their bid to take over Lyon during the Second World War. I pop into the Lyon Cathedral for a whiff of Gothic goodness before finding a seat at Daniel & Denise Saint-Jean, a small bouchon, where my napkin has a button hole so I can pin it to my shirt. I love it here, I whisper to myself. I have a Salade Lyonnaise and vow to make it myself at home: frisée, giant lardons each the size of my thumb, crispy croutons, a poached egg and a warm mustard vinaigrette. I follow this with the classic Quenelle Lyonnaise au brochet: souffléd pike dumplings baked in a crayfish cream sauce.

I try to hike it off with a trek up Fourvière hill, for the incredible views and for the Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière, both gorgeous in the extreme. I also make my way through the canvases and antiquities at Musée des Beaux Arts, which is housed in a former convent, and is considered the best museum in France next to the Louvre. More hills follow, up the slopes of the boho La Croix-Rousse neighbourhood, where all the silk weaving used to take place. I wander in and out of the cool shops and make mental notes of the bars I’d like to visit another time.

Saving the best for last Joining up with travel companions for my upcoming cruise, one being a food writer, we surrender to a Michelin-star treat: La Mère Brazier. It’s named after Eugénie Brazier, who became the first person to get six stars, three each at two restaurants, including the one I am now sitting in. Bought by Mathieu Viannay in 2007, the restaurant still features Brazier’s classic dishes on the menu.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

What seems like an army of waiters kills us with kindness in the form of extra courses that aren’t on the menu. This is what keeps people coming back: yes, it’s expensive, but the value is over the top. This is also why I can’t have normal pants.

Delicate artichokes and lighter-than-air foie gras are followed by even more pike mousse ringed with lobster and vegetables. A soothing pause is supplanted by perfect veal sweetbreads done Grenobloise style – butter, capers, parsley and lemon. I had spotted the cheese cart on my way in, hoping it would be part of the lineup… and it is, hosted by the cheese cart guy, cute as a pin. The Grand Marnier soufflé is a fine finish, but the cheese guy takes my cake.

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DOUG WALLACE is the editor and publisher of travel resource TravelRight.Today.

TRAVEL

PENTICTON: AN UNEXPECTED DESTINATION FOR CANADIAN LGBTQ+ TRAVELLERS Eat, drink and be merry in the beauty of the Okanagan Valley

By Josh Rimer

If the past year and a half has taught us anything about travel, it’s that the ability to easily move around the world can disappear in an instant. While international travel is the first thing to get restricted when new variants arise, travelling within our own country can be a safer and less stressful alternative for ensuring our trips go ahead as planned (although, depending on conditions, you may still need to check to be sure there are no restrictions at your destination).

The big Canadian cities are certainly options, but there are also some smaller hidden gems that have a lot more to offer than you might expect. Case in point: Penticton, BC. Uniquely situated between two lakes, Penticton has hot summers and dry winters, and gets more than 2,000 hours of sunshine per year. It takes about an hour to fly to the Penticton airport from Vancouver (on two airlines), and you can get there from Toronto in under five hours. It’s a city with a small-town feel that is easy to get to and welcomes everyone, including the LGBTQ community.

There is a gay nude section at Three Mile Beach, but Penticton is mostly a destination for the queer traveller who enjoys everything from outdoor activities in beautiful nature to delicious food and drink from a variety of restaurants, wineries, cideries and especially breweries. Although it’s home to only around 35,000 people, Penticton has the highest brewery-per-capita ratio in Canada, and will be adding to this impressive number once the eighth brewery is completed this fall.

Perhaps the most obvious choice for where to stay while visiting would be the Penticton Lakeside Resort and Conference Centre. It’s in a perfect location right on the waterfront, with its own private beach area and easy access to the walking path along Okanagan

Lake Beach. With 274 rooms, panoramic views, restaurants, lakeside patios and amenities like a gym, pool and hot tub, it isn’t hard to see why it’s such a popular spot to book.

When it comes to food, you would probably be surprised at the number of options available. Whether you want to take a sandwich on freshly made bread from the Joy Road Pop Up Bakeshop when you head out on an excursion, enjoy some top-rated maple bacon poutine on the Slackwater Brewing patio after a day out on the trails, or treat yourself to a farm-to-table dinner made from ingredients in the on-site garden at the upscale Bogner’s of Penticton, there really is something for every taste and mood.

There is also no shortage of options for adult beverages, many of which are locally sourced. The Naramata Bench has some of the highest acclaimed Okanagan wineries (more than 40 of them just within a 20-minute drive), and there is even one right in downtown Penticton (Time Winery) with a delicious food menu. Of course, you could also try the aforementioned craft breweries, and even some cideries – like La Petite Abeille, which is a great place to stop for a bubbly cider from their hand-picked fruits when you’re biking along the Kettle Valley Rail Trail with an e-bike from Hoodoo Adventures.

Keep in mind that this is the kind of city you could visit without a car, because so much of it can be explored virtually ‘fuel free’ by foot, pedal or paddle. So whether you’re looking for some outdoor adventure kayaking along the lake on a guided tour or just want to enjoy the flavours of the area in a welcoming environment, Penticton could be the perfect escape you never even knew you were looking for.

JOSH RIMER is a travel writer and content creator based in Vancouver, BC. He may be best known for his video segments on YouTube and OUTtv, but he was also Mr. Gay Canada 2019. Follow him on social media at @JoshRimer.

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FLASHBACK Diana, Princess Of Wales Visits Toronto’s Casey House (October 25, 1991)

In the late 1980s and early 1990s, Diana, Princess of Wales famously did her part to help destigmatize HIV and AIDS by openly embracing AIDS patients around the world. In fact, in April 1987, when speculation around transmission of the virus was rife, Diana was invited to open Britain’s first HIV/AIDS ward at London Middlesex Hospital. A photograph from that day, which made front-page news around the world, showed her shaking hands with HIV-positive patients without wearing gloves. That simple action would publicly challenge the notion that HIV/AIDS was passed from person to person by touch.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2021

In the following years, Diana went on to make headlines for several bedside visits she made to patients living with the disease at a number of hospitals around the world. During a 1991 visit to Canada – when she signed the famous Canadian AIDS quilt that was on display at the Textile Museum of Canada in Toronto – Diana also spent time on an unseasonably warm day in late October at Toronto’s Casey House, a hospice for people living with HIV that opened in 1988.

Media were to be excluded during Diana’s visit to the hospice on October 25, 1991, but there was one pre-arranged photo-op just inside the front door with a man, much marked by the

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disease but well enough to be out of bed. Instead of sitting in a chair, which had been placed a discreet distance from the man, Diana moved the chair closer, and put her hand on his.

With the media gone but crowds gathering outside, Diana reportedly went from room to room and spent time with all 13 residents as well as all of the staff. She stayed longer than planned, and when the images from that day were published, they undeniably helped change the narrative of HIV and AIDS in Canada and beyond.

“Casey House continues to be thankful for Princess Diana’s historic visit,” Casey House’s CEO Joanne Simons tells IN. “It was a special moment for everyone in the house that day, particularly the clients in our care, and did much to dispel myths around HIV transmission. Unfortunately, stigma persists, so we continue to bring attention to misinformation about HIV and the impact it has on those who live with it.”

“HIV does not make people dangerous to know, so you can shake their hands and give them a hug,” Diana famously said at the Children and AIDS Conference in April 1991. “Heaven knows they need it.”

Images courtesy of Casey House

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