iPolitics holiday edition

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Publisher & executive editor James Baxter Deputy editor, news Ian Shelton Deputy editor, opinion Doug Beazley Reporters Sonya Bell | Labour and environment Eric Beauchesne | Economy Colin Horgan | Politics James Munson | Energy and mining BJ Siekierski | International trade Laura Stone | Justice, health and aboriginal issues Elizabeth Thompson | Senior political reporter Michelle Zilio | Foreign affairs Columnists Lawrence Martin, Michael Harris, Fen Osler Hampson, Peter Clark, Don Lenihan, Tasha Kheiriddin Alpheus Danelia Bolivar Graphic designer Jessie Willms Photographer Cynthia Munster Web editors Laura Beaulne-Stuebing Deane McRobie Marketing and sales Sally Douglas | Deputy publisher Callie Sanderson | Account manager Zoe Teale | Account manager John Butterfield | COO 45 O’Connor St, Suite 530, World Exchange Plaza Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, K1P 1A4 Phone: 613-216-9638 | Toll-Free: 1-877-271-9615 Who we are: iPolitics is independent, non-partisan and committed to providing timely, relevant, insightful content to those whose professional or personal interests require that they stay on top of political developments in Ottawa and the provinces. Working in a spirit of neutral inquiry, our daily news service includes coverage of the legislative, regulatory, political, and policy developments that matter most to businesspeople, professionals, politicians and public servants (at all levels), political activists, and the more politically attuned. Here are just some of the features you’ll find on our site every day: THE MORNING BRIEF: Our daily newsletter drives conversations about federal and provincial politics. Delivered to your inbox by 6 a.m., it reveals all you need to know about the issues before they make headlines. THE ALPHEUS DAILY WATCH: An insider’s guide to the day’s events on Parliament Hill. BREAKING STORIES: Our news team makes iPolitics a go-to site for political news as it is happening. We cover the wrangling while exploring the intersection of politics with Bay Street, international finance, civil society, interest groups and the media. FEATURED OPINION: Every day on the website you’ll find someone eager to start a debate. COMMITTEE WATCH: In updated reports throughout the day, iPolitics and The Alpheus Group deliver a comprehensive picture of the discussions and debates in and around meeting rooms on the Hill.

Good morning to you. Today is International April Fool’s in December Day. It’s almost Christmas and the Conservatives were in a giving mood last week — and we don’t just mean to their favourite constituencies. While admitting that there are gaping holes in Canadian legislation that needed to be closed, the Harper government gave China’s CNOOC and Malaysian giant Petronas free passes in their respective bids to take over Alberta-based Nexen and Progress Energy. In his speech, Prime Minister Stephen Harper said the deals are proof positive that Canada is open for business, at least until the rules can be changed in 2013. Journalists in Ottawa were heartened by signs of a thaw between the PMO and the press gallery with the big announcement. Not only did Harper agree to answer multiple questions about the deals, but he dropped the news at 5 p.m. on a regular r u n- of-t he -m i l l Friday, not even ahead of a long weekend. “A story of this importance could easily have come on Christmas Eve,” said one relieved scribe. Still with the CNOOC and Petronas deals, Canadian investors have about $21 billion more to spend on Christmas presents. Priceless? The little dance Finance Minister Jim Flaherty is doing in his office. But what took so long? Reports suggest the deals were only approved after Pierre Poutine confirmed the Chinese would proceed to hack into NDP leader Thomas Mulcair’s email and plant love notes from Russian operative Tatiana Romanova. Buoyed by their success in passing omnibus finance

and justice legislation in 2012, the prime minister is expected in his pre-taped year-end interviews to declare 2013 The Year of the Omnibus and confirm plans to convene Parliament for just one week in March to pass the budget and another in October to pass everything else. With their newfound free time, his caucus members will be preparing glowing character witness testimonials for Dean Del Mastro and Peter Penashue. Meanwhile, Liberal leadership hopeful Justin Trudeau is expected to stage a one-man show in early 2013. “Every Which Way But Lose (Part Deux).” It is a selfpenned effort to clarify his nuanced views on key policy issues, including the gun registry, climate change and foreign ownership. Admission is free for anyone willing to sign themselves up as Liberal supporters. Goldfish with a valid email address are also welcome. Toronto MPP Eric Hoskins has jumped out to an early lead in the Ontario Liberal leadership race. At the end of the first week of December, Hoskins had already raked in more than $112,000, while former Winnipeg mayor Glen Murray has garnered $94,150. That’s no joke, so where’s the punch line? Gerard Kennedy, the man who gave the Liberals Stéphane Dion as leader, has raised just $20,000. Back on Parliament Hill, public servants mapping out a new House of Commons seating plan to incorporate the 30 extra desks that will be necessary with the 2015 expansion are facing a tricky dilemma: do they make sure Conservative House leader Peter Van Loan sits far, far away from New Democrats Tom Mulcair and Nathan Cullen? Or would it be better for CPAC ratings to put them nose to nose? The committee has formed

Twas the Night Before Christmas Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the ridings Members wished voters on Main Street good tidings “Have you maxed out your federal donation this year? It’s $1200, sign your name here!”

a sub-committee to study the issue. With the U.N. climate change conference in Doha successfully extending the Kyoto Protocol through to 2020, Environment Minister Peter Kent is reportedly seeking a publisher for his memoirs: An Inconvenient Legacy.

Today in Featured Opinions: —Scott Clark and Pete DeVries wonder where has all the money gone? —Aboriginal Affairs Minister John Duncan says it wasn’t to his department; —Lawrence Martin asks where is the public outrage about everything?; —Tasha Kheiridden says Conservatives “aren’t so bad;”

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—Michael Harris says “Oh yes they are;” And finally, Defence Minister Peter MacKay insists all is not lost with the F-35 program. Since the new aircraft is single-engine and the soon-to-be retired F-18s have two, MacKay said the gover n ment can put off buying new engines until 2027. The remaining F-18 engines will be squeezed into the Snowbirds’ Tudor aircraft in order to keep the 431 Squadron flying as Canada’s first cost-neutral demonstration team. “We’re taking austerity to new heights,” MacKay quipped before sheepishly searching his audience for a laugh. Where’s Marc Garneau when you need him? And with that, you’re off. Have a great holiday season and safe and happy New Year.


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Pan-partisan holiday feast

Lanttulaatikko Megan Leslie, Member of Parliament for Halifax, is a first generation Finnish-Canadian. She also claims the title of our country’s 2nd Finnish-Canadian MP. “I grew up [in northern Ontario] immersed in Finnish traditions, including traditional meals,” says Leslie. “At Christmas (Joulua) we would always have kinkku (ham), potatoes, and lanttulaatikko, which is a turnip dish. I make this every year for my family, taking over from where my Mummu left off.”

Ingredients: 1 yellow turnip, medium size 2 tbsp. of butter ¼ cup of whipping cream Salt and pepper to taste ½ tsp. of nutmeg 1 beaten egg 2 tbsp. of molasses 1/4 cup bread crumbs

Holderville traditional potato stuffing and turkey Ingredients: 5 lbs potatoes 6 onions 1 loaf white bread 1 egg 1 tsp baking soda Butter 1 lb bacon Sage and poultry seasoning to taste Salt and pepper to taste

Ed Holder is London West’s personable and lively MP. He shares his family’s traditional recipe for turkey and potato stuffing, coupled together here because they harmoniously become one in the oven. Holder’s mother was from Cape Breton and father from Holderville, NB. “You can’t make this stuff up,” he says. As you can imagine, he insists on using New Brunswick potatoes for the stuffing, but will allow for PEI potatoes to be used if the chef is, “in a pinch.” We’ ll star t w it h t he stuf f ing. Note: t his stuf f ing (or dressing) is to be cooked inside t he bird.

Take five pounds (5 lbs.) of potatoes. Boil them with skin on. Peel them while they are still hot. Yes, that is peel them right after boiling. Set aside. Take six medium-sized onions. Peel and dice them. Set aside. Grab a loaf of dry (almost stale) plain white bread. Use hands to

Oysters à la Wayne Easter

Bélanger’s beigli

Ingredients: Choice Malpeque oysters Lemon juice Pepper Tabasco (optional) Ice

Mauril Bélanger is the MP for the riding of Ottawa-Vanier. According to his wife, Catherine, “a traditional Hungarian Christmas Eve dinner is not complete without beigli.” She shares her family recipe for this delectable rolled pastry and offers two choices for the filling: poppy seed and walnut (available online). Chefs will be relieved to know that this dish can be made days before it is served, alleviating some kitchen pressure on December 24th. If followed properly, this beigli takes some time, but it will be well worth it once you taste the final product.

The Honourable Wayne Easter represents the constituents of Malpeque, Prince Edward Island. He knows a thing or two about oysters. He shares some of his best practices on how to serve and slurp this shelled Christmas appetizer. “First one must go with Choice Malpeque oysters,” he declares. Easter recommends resting the shucked and open oyster — still in shell — on crushed ice. It enhances the taste. He also notes the importance of keeping it simple. Respect the salty flavour and texture oysters naturally offer. Try to stay away from sharp spices and other overpowering addons. Decorate the oyster with a little pepper and a squirt of lemon juice. For the adventurous soul, add a dash of seafood sauce or tabasco.

Ingredients: 200 g ground poppy seed 150 g castor sugar mixed in 100 ml water 1 sachet (10g) of vanilla sugar 50 g raisins soaked in 50 ml rum grated rind of a well-washed lemon and lemon juice 1 coffee-spoon ground cinnamon 1 large Mcintosh apple peeled and grated Prepare the poppy seed filling: Bring the water with the sugar in it to the boil. Remove the

pull apart every inch of that loaf. Set aside. Ensure you have salt, pepper, sage and poultry seasoning within arm’s reach. Grab the biggest bowl you can find. Toss in half of the hot potatoes. Throw in half of the onions and half of the bread. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add sage and poultry seasoning to taste. Use a hand masher to grind it all together. Then add one egg and a tsp. of “magic” baking powder. Throw in the rest of the stillhot potatoes, onions and bread. Proceed to mash it and continue adding salt, pepper, sage and poultry seasoning to taste. The

spices will cause the stuffing to darken. Grab your turkey (already cleaned) and fill it with the potato stuffing, as much as will fit. You can sew the bird shut but remember to use proper cooking thread. Rub butter over the turkey and sprinkle it with salt and pepper. Delicately adorn the bird with bacon strips. On top of that, pour a little oil. The bacon juices will eventually find their way to the potato dressing. Cover with tinfoil and cook in the oven as per the proper instructions for turkey weight. Enjoy the culinary experience, all the way from Holderville!

mixture from the heat and pour onto the ground poppy seed. Mix in the drained raisins, the vanilla sugar and ground cinnamon and apple. Add grated rind of a lemon and 1 tablespoon of its juice.

Knead the loaves. Roll them out into a 1/2 cm thick rectangle on a floured board. Spread filling onto the dough, leave out a 2-3 cm strip at the longer side. Fold back a 2-3 cm strip at the shorter sides (prevents the stuffing from coming out). Roll the dough up and place them in buttered oven dish. Brush the top of the rolls with slightly beaten egg yolk and let them rest for 30 minutes. Spread the rolls with egg white. Let rolls rest for another half an hour. Prick the top and the sides of the rolls with a fork, it prevents cracking. Bake the beigli in preheated oven at 180°C for about 40 minutes until the top achieves a nice brown colour. In the first 20 minutes do not open the oven. Let pastry cool in the oven dish. Cut the rolls into slices if you want to serve them immediately. Otherwise wrap the rolls in cling wrap and store them in cool, dry place. You can store them for 2-3 weeks, or freeze them.

Ingredients: 500 g flour 150 ml sour cream 250 g butter 1 tablespoon sugar 20 g fresh yeast 1 egg 50 g castor sugar A pinch of salt Prepare the dough: Warm the sour cream a bit. It should be lukewarm. Add the egg to the sour cream and mix it. Crumble yeast in the mixture. Add diced butter to the flour, sprinkle it with 50g castor sugar and a pinch of salt. Mix in sour cream with the yeast in it and knead a dough. Make 4 loaves, wrap them up in cling wrap and let them rest in the fridge for at least 2 hours (even better, if you leave it there for a whole night).

Cube and boil the turnip until soft. Cool, and mash. Combine all other ingredients with turnip mash. Add enough bread crumbs to absorb liquid. Place mixture in a casserole dish. Press down evenly with the tines of a fork, leaving a scored pattern. Bake at 350 F for 30 minutes.

Charleston Light Dragoon punch Elizabeth May, leader of the Green Party, shares a traditional family recipe for festive punch, one her grandfather would call the, “iron fist in the velvet glove.” “My grandfather prepared the punch weeks ahead in large casks. My mother figured out when she grew up that this was his way of being able to sip it for a long time assessing how it was aging.” The punch can be made — by any novice mixologist — the very same day guests are expected. May remembers her mother crafting the concoction for Christmas parties. “I have continued the tradition by serving it on the 12th night, January 6.”

Ingredients: 4 quarts of black tea 4 cups sugar 1 quart and one cup lemon juice 1 quart dark rum (Jamaican) 4 quarts California Brandy (any non-gourmet brandy) ½ pint peach (or apricot) brandy Club Soda Combine the black tea and lemon juice mixture, stirring in sugar while still hot. Add the alcohol. Set aside or bottle for later use. In a punch bowl place blocks of ice and garnishes of lemon and orange peels. Pour in equal parts of the tea-brandyrum mixture with club soda.


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1 tsp salt 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1 1/2 tsp cloves

3 cups grated carrots

1 1/2 tsp nutmeg

3 cups flour

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

2 cups brown sugar

Christmas pudding Speaker of the House, Andrew Scheer and his wife, Jill, share a traditional family Christmas pudding recipe with iPolitics. Jill remembers eating it as a kid. “It even smells like Christmas,” she notes. Her grandmother still sends jars of it over on Christmas day. This simple recipe, sauce and all, is sure to make any novice chef seem like a pro in front of family. The best part — it doesn’t require heavy machinery.

Ingredients: 3 cups grated carrots 3 cups peeled, grated potatoes 2 cups packed brown sugar 1 1/2 cups melted margarine 1 1/2 tsp baking soda (mixed with 1/4 cup water)

3 cups raisins

3 cups grated potatoes

1 tsp salt 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1 1/2 tsp cloves 1 1/2 tsp nutmeg 3 cups raisins 3 cups flour

allow the roaster to become dry. Store jars of pudding in the fridge. Serve warm.

Combine carrots, potatoes, brown sugar and margarine. Add spices, soda mixture and salt. Stir the raisins into the flour, then add the flour/raisin mixture, one cup at a time into the potato/carrot mixture. Stir until everything is combined. Place the mixture into glass jars (fill each jar 1/2 full). Place the jars, with the lids on loosely, into a roaster. Add water to the roaster until the jars are sitting in 2 inches of water. Put the lid on the roaster. Steam in a 300 degree oven for 3 hours. Never

Ingredients: 3/4 cup brown sugar 2 tbsp corn starch 1 1/2 cups water

Christmas Pudding Sauce

Combine in a saucepan. Warm over medium heat until mixture boils. Stir constantly. Remove from heat and stir in:

Spiced Pumpkin Crème Brûlées Kimberlee Rivet is Stornoway’s 28-year-old star chef. Her culinary talents continue to wow guests at the official residence of the leader of the Opposition. Rivet shares her delicious take on crème brûlée. This dish made mouths water at Thomas and Catherine Mulcair’s recent Christmas gathering for media.

Ingredients: 8 egg yolks 2 eggs 8 oz granulated sugar 1 vanilla bean, scraped 3 cups 35% cream 10 oz pumpkin puree 2 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp nutmeg 1/2 tsp ground ginger 1/4 tsp allspice Instructions: In a bowl, whisk eggs, sugar. Set aside. In a saucepan, whisk remaining ingredients and heat gently. Once warm, slowly temper warm liquid into egg and sugar mixture while whisking continuously. Once mixture is homogeneous, pour into oven-safe ramekins and bake in a bain-marie at 350 degrees F for 15 minutes. Chill then sprinkle with granulated sugar and brûlée using a torch.

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Wining with Rempel For an expert take on what to sip, few Hill dwellers can compare to Michelle Rempel. The junior environment minister is a trained sommelier and doesn’t mince words on wine. What are your top three Canadian wines? Norman Hardie “L” Series Pinot Noir – Prince Edward County / Niagara: Norman makes elegant and wonderfully finessed wine. With fruit grown in Prince Edward County, with its limestone soils and cool climate that makes it a bit like Burgundy’s long lost cousin, this wine shows everything that Canadian wine can hope to aspire to. Lively acidity supports sophisticated fruit integrated into a frame of beautifully nuanced oak notes. Malivoire “Moira” Chardonnay–Niagara: Situated on Niagara’s Beamsville Bench, this, simply put, is excellent wine. Many get turned off chardonnay because of subpar fruit that is covered with “punch in your face” oak. Shiraz Mottiar, their winemaker, not only resists this urge, (producing) a wine with racy acidity, yummy green fruit notes, and just the right amount of well-done oak. Tantalus Reisling Icewine – Oakanagan: If racy acidity and unctuous, sinful sweetness in perfect balance is the holy grail

1/4 cup butter 1 tsp vanilla

of a dessert wine, this icewine does not disappoint. Made from some of the older reisling

Serve warm over Christmas pudding.

vines in the region, Tantalus’s focus on quality production gives some of Canada’s best

Red, white or Welch’s Hill picks to help you dodge the plonk Olesia Plokhii

With a blanket of snow pulling a curtain over activities on the Hill and members returning to their ridings to celebrate the holidays comes an inevitable houseguest, prone to make himself a little more useful this time of year: that tall, inviting glass of wine. But please, no thinking, you say; just tell me what to buy. So we will. In fact, we’ve done one better — we’ve asked some Hill lawmakers and staff to share with us their favorites. So sit back, relax, and pour a big glass. There’s no better place to start than with MP Dan Albas of the Okanagan. He lives in wine country and sponsored Bill C-311, which became law this June and amended an old prohibition-era law that barred the import of wine across provincial borders. But the law still lets

provinces have the final say on the imports and Ontario’s LCBO isn’t playing nice. The liquor board says it will lose too much money from the new deal. Albas told iPolitics he wished everyone would just get along and drink together. Without him, however. “I seldom drink alcohol,” the MP admitted last week. Still, always a good sport, Albas said he’s “sampled” a few wines in his day. His neighbouring MP, Ron Cannan from Kelowna, who is the original architect Albas’ bill, is a little different. He’ll drink until the glass is empty, especially if it’s a Gray Monk red. On the other side of the political aisle, leadership hopeful Justin Trudeau told iPolitics his favorite bottle was the Mission Hill Oculus — that’s Peter Kent’s top pick too. The environment minister said his best wine-induced memory was

“drinking a South African grand cru white wine on a beach near George, South Africa…eating oysters right off the rocks.” Stopped in mid stride in the deepest halls of Parliament Hill on Wednesday, Edmonton NDP MP Linda Duncan said her favorite was a U.S. or Australian Shiraz. NDP deputy communications director Valérie Dufour, a certified sommelier, crowns Italy’s Antinori Tignanello as her number one. “I really like wine,” she enthused. “I have been obsessed by wine ever since I went to France when I was 20.” Her Canadian favorite is the Gewürztraminer from Malivoire. As for our favorite lone ranger, Elizabeth May, picked a Garry Oaks Pinot Noir as her sacred companion on a chilly night. Bloc Québécois Leader Daniel Paillé’s favourite wines are from the Beaujolais region of France. But the question of favorite wines was the easiest for Conservative MP Harold Albrecht. “Welch’s,” he said, beaming. “I

Non-voters shrugged from the warmth of their beds, While visions of Obama danced in their heads. Santa’s sleigh was packed up ready to go Off for a trip ‘round the world like Garneau!

don’t drink.” Better for him. Because so many good wines means tough picking. But if price is your deal breaker, best to ask a journalist. A quick poll of the iPolitics news room turned up the Louis Latour Chardonnay d’Ardeche, Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc for whites; while Folonari Valpolicella Classico Veneto and sub-$8 Mezzomondo Negroamaro Salento are popular reds. As for what is on Ottawa’s party tables? When the Mulcairs opened Stornoway to journalists shortly before the break, Coyote’s Run Estate Winery’s 2011 Cabernet Merlot and a Henry of Pelham 2010 Riesling filled the guests’ glasses. Meanwhile, when Liberals convened for the party’s seasonal shindig, they chose between bottles of Trebbiano Malvasia Villa Ginnetti and Centurio Sangiovese Monte Pulciano’s Merlot. We go to print before the Harpers host the press gallery at 24 Sussex Drive, but hopefully we’ve inspired them to raise the bar.

icewine. Top three wines in general? Impossible question. I certainly gravitate towards certain regions. but wine is to be enjoyed with food, and should fit one’s mood. For me, a hot summer afternoon on the porch demands a chilled, fruity rose, just as a hearty beef stew on a winter’s evening looks to a throaty brunello. White or red? Do you like full bodied or light? Loaded questions! Depends on food, mood, temperature, situation, and company. However, if my cellar had a default font it would be “Pinot Noir, Nuit St. George, 95pts.” Do you cook for wine or is it just for drinking? Cook with what you drink, and life is too short to drink bad wine. Favourite wine-induced memory? Having a glass of Biondi-Santi brunello on the outskirts of Montalcino town square on a perfect summer evening, with the cyprus trees of Tuscany on the horizon.


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Caption contest

Never buy your MP socks Elizabeth Thompson There were the non-slip socks with cartoon characters. The heated socks with a nine-volt battery. Wool socks that scratch and itch. If you want to impress that special member of Parliament with a Christmas gift it seems it is best to steer clear of socks. An informal and highly unscientific poll of a handful of MPs by iPolitics found that socks were cited the most often when MPs were asked about the best — and the worst — presents they have ever received. “The worst Christmas have got to be the winter socks with a nine-volt battery in them,” recalled Mathieu Ravignat, NDP MP for the riding of Pontiac. “That was given to me because my feet get cold when I play hockey outside but I have to say, that was probably the worst gift.” Hedy Fry, Liberal MP for Vancouver Centre, also counts a pair of socks as one of the most disappointing things she has found under her Christmas tree. “The worst gift I ever got was a pair of socks with little funny things on the bottom in which I could walk around the house without slipping and they were obviously for a small child because they were tiny, they didn’t fit me and they had all these weird little characters, cartoon characters on it... I never used it.”

Green Party Leader Elizabeth May said she is grateful for any gift — but when she was a child she was not quite as grateful for socks. “There were always those Christmas’s where one of my aunts thought the proper present would be wool socks and no one really wants to open a beautifully wrapped present Christmas morning to find socks.” However, May clearly remembers the best Christmas present she ever received, a house her mother made for her teddy bears to play. “My Mom was really, really creative and one year for Christmas she made me a tree trunk bear house. She actually sculpted with papier mache, a three story log that when you opened it with a zipper (so there were no unsightly latches to mar the bark of the tree) inside there was a kitchen on the ground floor, a living room for the bears in the middle and a little bedroom upstairs and it was the most remarkable work of art and it was also my little playhouse for bears.” Treasury Board President Tony Clement’s favorite gift came from his family. “Recently, I had a combined Christmas, 50th birthday and generally for the whole year

Here’s the deal, take a good look at this selection of a few of the year’s head-turning political pics, then head over to our Facebook page and share your funniest alternative captions. Why? Because this is politics, and if you can’t laugh, you’re sure to cry. Your gut-busting cut lines can also be emailed to info@ipolitics.ca

present with my new Fender Stratocaster guitar. So, that was pretty awesome.” Clement’s least favorite gift also came from a family member. “My sister she goes out of the way to find things out of the ordinary which kind of works but sometimes doesn’t. I actually think this was kind of cool but she gave my wife and I one of those nesting dolls with the image of me as the top one, my wife as the next one then our three kids. You don’t know where to put something like that.”


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NICE

He’s making a list, checking it twice, and declaring politicians naughty or nice. Santa got a good kick out of some of the fall session’s parliamentary antics, but other stories changed his “Hohoho” to a “Nonono.” Who will escape the dreaded lump of coal? Who needs to make some New Year’s Resolutions? Here’s how the scandals stacked up at the end of 2012.

SANTA SAYS HOHOHO

Do you have any metal on you, Captain Hook? The airport-like security at 24 Sussex Drive for trick-or-treaters was a little much this Halloween, but at least Stephen Harper wasn’t giving away toothbrushes. That Santa wouldn’t forgive.

The in-flight incident between Sen. Rod Zimmer and his wife Maygan was a source of international intrigue and delight just ahead of the fall sitting. The most serious charges were eventually dropped, so Santa shouldn’t hold a grudge — as long as they don’t try to ride in his sleigh.

HARPER vs. FUN

GARNEAU vs. THUNDER

Bob Rae, have you actually seen Stephen Harper’s Grade 2 report cards? We don’t think so. But Santa will probably forgive you for joking around with reporters about what you imagine RAE VS. they say.

HARPER’S INABILITY TO GET ALONG WITH OTHER KIDS

Marc Garneau’s push to siphon off the long-overdue MP pension reform section from the government’s budget bill and finalize it won over Peter Van Loan — while leaving the New Democrats scrambling to reclaim some thunder.

Supporting the troops generally gets one in the good books. But Peter Goldring’s defence of a video created by some members of the Canadian Forces, which featured one soldier painted in brown face pretending to be Osama bin Laden’s brother, was a doozy. “This video was meant as nothing more than a little black humour intended for a private audience,” he argued.

GOLDRING vs. TASTE

PBO Kevin Page is prepared to fight the good fight and take the government to court over its failure to turn over details about budgetary cuts. The big downside of Tony Clement digging in his heels is pretty ironic ­— a costly court battle over budget restraint, featuring taxpayer-funded lawyers.

PAGE vs. CLEMENT

Santa has heard enough rhetoric about the War of 1812, Peter MacKay.

Jim Flaherty played nice this fall by handing his budget bill over for study at multiple committees. But opposition MPs are still concerned yo u didn’t really listen to their recommendations, particularly around the protection of Canada’s lakes and rivers.

SANTA SAYS NONONO

An oversimplified guide to the fall sitting

S FLAHERTY vs. THE LAKE

Peter Penashue has some explaining to do — why was he doing more free flying during the last election campaign than Rudolph?

It’s hard to pick the one person who most disappointed Santa by waging a very insincere and unproductive war over a carbon tax. But Stella Ambler gets the coal for her Halloween denouncement of the NDP’s “evil $21 billion carbon tax,” warning it would “raise the cost of celebrating Halloween.”

Even Santa TRUDEAU, McGUINTY gets a kick vs. out of the BE AL RTA Liberals. Just a couple ill-conceived comments about Alberta Centre. He’s coming with a pair of cowboy hats for David McGuinty and this Christmas to put them in a nation-building spirit.

Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty left the door open on his federal Liberal leadership ambitions just long enough to distract reporters from the legislature’s prorogation. Clever elf.

In one of the most-watched parliamentary votes of the sitting, Status of Women Minister AMBROSE vs. Rona STATUS OF WOMEN Ambrose stood up and cast a vote in favour of returning to a debate about when life begins. She’s still never agreed to discuss why.

NAUGHTY

When out on the Hill was a great burst of noise, Elizabeth May said “Decorum please, boys!” On the lawn with Santa, their hands on his sleigh Were party leaders Harper, Mulcair and Rae

Rob Anders — still incapable of keeping his foot out of his mouth. This fall, Santa cringed when Anders told a reporter that ANDERS he thinks Tom Mulcair hastened Jack Layton’s death.

vs. ANDERS

Between falling behind on child support payments and being questioned on his Senate housing allowance, if anyone needs to make some New Year’s resolutions this holiday, it’s Sen. Patrick Brazeau. “I will not call reporters bitches. I will not call reporters bitches.”


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H O L I DAY S U B S CR I P T I O N S P E CI A L : $ 0 .9 9 F O R T H E F I RS T F O U R W E E K S

Deck the halls of power iPolitics’ photojournalist Cynthia Münster hits the town with Social Columnist Elizabeth Gray-Smith to capture the best moments on the Hill and off. Here’s a taste of some Senators, MPs and staffers spreading holiday cheer. All photos by iPolitics’ Cynthia Münster.

1) Kiran and her husband Conservative MP Tim Uppal. 2) A well-trimmed tree at the Trees of Hope reception at the Chateau Laurier. 3) Like old friends (and recent rivals), Marc Garneau and Justin Trudeau greet each other at the Liberal Christmas party. 4) NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair and Catherine Pinhas welcome guests at Stornoway. 5) Stephen Carter and Liberal leadership candidate Martha Hall Findlay. 6) Lisa Thibodeau, Senator Dennis Dawson, Julie McCarthy and David Sheppard at Senator Mercer’s festive drop-in.

They each had a gift sack and issued a plea, “Deliver these instead, to the voters from me?” No federal commissioner could settle this clash, And Santa couldn’t risk a funding slash.


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Surviving the cabinet Christmas dinner: A fiction in five rules James Munson Scene: A diesel generator runs outside of 24 Sussex Drive as limosines and Hummers sit parked outside. Ministers gather around a long dinner table. Disparate conversation quiets as the Prime Minister takes seat at table’s head. Harper: My friends, it’s times like this that remind me of what Christmas is all about - jobs, growth and prosperity for all, with a little bit of gravy on the side for your friends. Minister laugh. (Except for Poilievre, who doesn’t get it.) Harper: As you know, it’s been a year of great accomplishments. We put through regulatory reform for resources (nods to Joe Oliver), signed trade agreements (nods to Ed Fast), and approved CNOOC’s takeover while putting in new foreign takeover rules (nods to Christian Paradis). Soon, we’ll launch our mandatory diesel generation requirements, which, as you can surely hear and maybe even smell, is currently already here in place in my home. Ministers turn their heads and smile to each other. Harper: But, we’ve also had to make some concessions. In keeping out strategic partnership with China, or as I like to call it, Chinada, in healthy form, we’ve had to make some changes. So without further wait, and considering it’s around eight o’clock on a Friday evening, I’d like to introduce the newest member of cabinet, Minister of Chinese Affairs, Hu Jintao. Chair swoops into position at Harper’s right, with a smiling Hu Jintao seated comfortably in place. He turns his head towards the ministers. Hu: Hi guys. Ministers look at each with confused facial expressions. Rule #1: The only thing that shouldn’t surprise you in cabinet are surprises. They are the PMO’s MO, and be ready to be woken up in your sleep by a sudden policy change — if you can still sleep. Awkward silence. Jason Kenney: Um, well I’m going to have to see your papers at some point Hu. Nothing personal, we’ve just got to see if you have been charged with any crimes, you know, back home. Hu: What are you, a reporter with The New York Times? I’m Canadian now, right boss? (Looks to Harper.) Harper: Yeah, something like that.

Tony Clement: Um, what riding does he have? Harper: Remember that earthquake in Haida Gwaii? We’ve actually just created a new island – and a new riding. We’re calling it Laureen. It’s built completely with excess bitumen sand from Alberta, the greatest province between Saskatchewan and British Columbia. No one lives in Laureen, so we’re giving the seat to Hu. He’s going to pretty much be in charge of energy, so it’s all very symbolic. Oliver, from further down the table: Um, so, I welcome our newest cabinet member, but I kind of feel like Hu is treading on my turf a little bit. Harper: And you’d be right. Oliver: Well, I would have liked… Harpe, interruptingr: You’re in charge of mining now. Hu’s on energy. Read the card. Card magically appears on Oliver’s dinner plate. Oliver: Well, I… Harper: Read. The. Card. Oliver, picks up card and stares at it: “Mining represents 18 per cent of Canada’s annual…” Harper: Okay stop. Memorize it later. Or don’t memorize it. Read it in public for the first time so people get bored. Harper pulls out Blackberry and texts Andrew Macdougall: “Keep an eye (and ears) on Joe. He’s getting new-guy envy.” Macdougall: “No prob, boss. The satellites are realligning.” Rule #2: Due to the slow degradation of his brain’s ability to process words anyone other than he is speaking, the prime minister, if spoken to without advance warning, may enter into a passive aggressive rage, ensuring some kind of future retribution. Beware and send an email to media relations well before even thinking of opening your mouth.

Harper: It’s time for grace and the oath to the Queen. Rusty? John Baird says grace. In Latin. Then finishes with oath to the Queen. In haughty English. Servers, all Philipino, walk in carrying the dinner’s appetizers, entrée’s and deserts all at once. Harper, speaking to Hu: Foreign skilled workers program. (Hu nods approvingly.) Mackay: This is a little rushed, isn’t it? Harper: What are you, an elitist? Serving everything together is way more efficient. And I like mixing the flavours, together. It’s fusion. In your mouth. And from one culture instead of seven. Mackay frowns as everyone digs in. Shea, with mouthful of potatoes: What the hell is this? (Pulls a set of keys from her month.) Maxime Bernier: Zut alors! Those are mine. (Snatches them from Shea.) Things go so crazy over the holidays. Harper frowns. Moore: So how’s that hockey book going, boss? Harper: I’ll get you to translate it when I’m finished, James. In the meantime, why don’t you make an NHL and lock it up. Vic Toews, Rob Nicholson and Julian Fantino in unison, each, holding a pair of handcuffs: Who needs to locked up? Hu: Why do I need to be locked up? Harper, with his head in his hands: No one needs to be locked up. Just eat. Rule #4: Do not corner the PM about his hockey book. It upsets him. Despite what the lockout looks like, hockey’s not finished. So why should the book be?

Harper: If you don’t like it Joe, just remember: repeating is believing. James Moore speaking softly: Repeating is believing… Repeating is believing…. Ministers begin chanting in unison: Repeating is believing! Repeating is believing! Repeating is belie… Harper: Christ, stop it! Not at the dinner table. Hu (CPC—Laureen, BC) to Harper: Nice work.

Filipino workers remove dishes. Ministers check their Blackberries and prepare to leave. Harper: Well, in honour of our new minister, we’ll use bowing to great each other from now on. Hand shaking is a little too intimate for colleagues, I think. Peter Van Loan: And dirty. Harper: And dirty. Everyone pushes back their chairs and bows over, and then simultaneously looks over to Hu’s seat for approval, but the chair is empty. Shea: Where the hell did Hu go? Generator’s buzzing goes quiet. Lights go out. Kenney: Jesus, we’ve been (© Ezra Levant)

Rule #3: Ingratiate yourself, but don’t grovel. It might make him almost feel loved, which scares him.

Rule #5: Government is the worst kind of state-owned enterprise. Never let it get in the way of a good deal.

So he took the sacks and agreed to assist Though no kid had put these requests on their list. From the Tories, a hundred net new jobs. “We’re too young to work!” came the children’s sobs

9

Ottawa’s best dressed Dressed for success, these ten parliamentarians have proven time and again that every day on the Hill is worthy of a fine outfit.

Slick in a bowtie. This is no clip on, he can tie a perfect bow each time. From the hair, down the shoes, he is styling from head to toe.

Each time Raitt is spotted at a party, she is wearing a fabulous number. The variety in her outfits and her ability to pull it off perfectly each time earns her a spot in the best dressed.

Could be because she has access to Toronto fashion, MP Adams always delivers on style.

Always dapper, this MP enjoys adding the occasionaal red accent to his outfits.

Trudeau can’t not make the best dressed list. Whether it’s casual in his riding or suited for the House, it’s effortless every time. She looks like a Deborah Harry from her Blondie days. At the Press Gallery dinner, she wowed the crowd in her 80’s-inspired ensemble.

Dewar makes the list because, simply, his suits fit and fit well. This is an element of style that many often forget.

Bernier, a man of many fine exquisitely-tailored suits.

One word: chic.

She brings a lively style to the Hill that is not only youthful and refreshing, it represents her personality. Her jewelry collection is pretty awesome too.


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2013: What MPs should be resolving for the new year

April’s boxing match against Justin Trudeau left Brazeau with a bruised eye but, more importantly, a hurt ego.

After facilitating two grueling omnibus budget bills in 2012, the Speaker of the House might have to get in shape for another marathon vote.

The Defence Minister might find extra work breaking up spats in the House of Commons in 2013.

The Conservative backbencher probably should do a bit more chewing rather than talking next time he meets a reporter for lunch.

The Alberta opposition leader appeared to endorse feeding recalled meat from the XL Foods Inc. plant to the hungry, after she retweeted an individual who suggested the idea in October.

The Government House leader should challenge his NDP counterpart in the ring, not the House of Commons.

The sitting Toronto mayor says he will run for leadership again if he loses his conflict of interest appeal and council calls a byelection.

Premier Dad might go into teaching.

Blood, sex and guts: The Kevin Bosch tour of Parliament Laura Stone We’re standing outside room 103S in the basement of Centre Block, which is now Conservative MP Steven Fletcher’s office, the minister of state for transport It’s a fairly nondescript space in a fairly nondescript part of Parliament — wood door, white halls, sterile end-of-the-night-at-the-bar lights. But that is not why Kevin Bosch has led us here. Armed with a black binder featuring the laminated pages of mistresses past, the 41-year-old Liberal researcher is about to share a highlight passed down to him from security guard lore. “This is the story of the naked MP,” he begins. It was the early 1980s. A Liberal politician — who shall go unnamed — was “having relations” with his assistant in his office. And then someone walked in on them. “He jumped up, apparently holding a towel but not really using it all that much, and decided to run after this woman who walked in,” Bosch says, somewhat giddily. “That woman had the good sense to run away. He came back to his office and his paramour had locked the door behind him here. “He couldn’t get in. He’s standing naked in the hallway and had no choice but to walk around there, find the guards, and ask the guards to let him back in to the office.” Welcome to the Bosch tour to Parliament, featuring a healthy dose of sex, blood and guts.

For a couple years now, Bosch has been playing underground guide — imparting knowledge gleaned from his 14-year career on the Hill, his love of history and a nose for the naughty. Bosch does it in his spare time and for an apparent altruistic reason: he just loves Parliament. “It’s a wonderful place,” he says. “I sort of consider it the crossroads of Canada. People from all across the country come and do their term in business. So it’s not surprising there’s all sorts of fun and interesting stories.” The tour begins with blood. We meet on Sparks Street in front of a nail salon called her Esthetician. It’s also the spot where, on his way back from a 2 a.m. fisheries debate, politician Thomas D’Arcy McGee was assassinated on April 7, 1868. His purported killer, Patrick James Whalen, was the last person to be hanged in Canada. We move on to the spot in front of the eternal flame, where in 1972 an American named Arthur Bremer planned to kill then-U.S. President Richard Nixon, who was visiting Ottawa. He was thwarted by a police officer who walked into his shot. Once inside Parliament, it’s all about the mistresses. Bosch enters the Senate foyer to talk about the portraits of “the three randy kings,” sons of George III: George IV, William IV, and Prince Frederic the Duke of York. Don’t even get Bosch started on Edward VII, Queen Victoria’s oldest son. “He was known to have had at least, believe it or not, 56 documented mistresses.” Bosch likes to point out the

details often missed. Standing in the foyer, he tells us that after the Great Fire of Parliament on Feb. 3 1916, stone masons from Europe rebuilt Centre Block in the following two years. They wanted to sign their names on the walls, so they would be remembered. But they were told they couldn’t. “They were supposed to carve viking heads in this hall right here,” says Bosch, pointing upward. “But if you’ll notice, this one has glasses and a beret ... They carved their own heads.” Upstairs, outside the gallery, Bosch opens his binder. Time for some trivia. “This is a list of five things that have been thrown down in the House of Commons,” he says. “One of them is not true:” Live bats; $20 bills; ox blood; human excrement; aftershave in a green Buddha shaped bottle. Then Bosch moves on to the guts. Paul Joseph Chartier — bankrupt and failed in love — smuggled 10 sticks of dynamite and a pipe bomb into the public gallery on May 16, 1966. But when he went to light the bomb in the bathroom, he mistimed things. “Instead of blowing up the House of Commons, he blew himself up,” says Bosch. After the naked MP story, it’s time for the tour to wrap up. We head down two levels, 40 feet below ground, to the piece de resistance: The secret Coke machine. Tour’s over. But Bosch does have one discretion. “I try not to tell too many stories about the living.”


iPOLITICS.ca — POLITICS IS PERSONAL

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featured review

The Myth of the Muslim Tide: Do immigrants threaten the west? DOUG SAUNDERS

The story that we have all started to hear louder and louder since the September 11 terrorist attacks in 2001, writes Doug Saunders in his new book The Myth of the Muslim Tide: Do Immigrants Threaten the West?, goes like this: Muslim immigrants are different than other groups; they reproduce faster and will soon be the majority in some Western countries – a problem because their loyalties lie with Islam, and not their host society; their regard of religion as a political ideology makes it difficult for them to assimilate; and, “a line of shared belief connects the moderate Muslim believer to the radical Islamist.” This, Saunders explains, is a notion pushed by a number of right-wing commentators like Pamela Gellar, Mark Steyn, or Bruce Bawer (among others) on blogs and in articles and books for much of the last decade. It was what Newt Gingrich was talking about in 2010 when he warned of that “stealth jihadis use political, cultural, societal, religious, intellectual tools… to replace Western civilization with a radical imposition of Sharia.” And it’s the same theoretical basis for the manifesto Anders Behring Breivik sent to a list of friends prior to shooting scores of young Norwegian Labour Party campers on an island not far from Oslo an hour or so after blowing up a federal building. But is any of it true? In short, no. Not much of it, anyway, according to Saunders, who breaks down a number of popular ideas about the incoming “Muslim tide” and reveals them to be either completely false or, at best, half-truths. Are Western countries bound to be overrun by a wave of new Muslim children from immigrant families? Likely not, considering the declining birth rates of second-generation Muslim women in Western nations. Are more immigrants in the future going to be Muslim? That probably depends on the continued economic successes — or failures — of Western countries, as immigrants tend to look for opportunity. Do Muslims identify more with their faith first and nationality second? No, and certainly in the United States, no more than Evangelicals do. Is terrorism a natural extension of Islam? Not according to statistics. Saunders quotes a Demos study that looked at Islamic religious radicals and convicted terrorists in both Britain and Canada. The study “found that radical religious believers and terrorists were very distinct and different people.” “The sons of immigrants who turn to violent jihad are, ironically enough, driven by a world view that is exactly the same as that of the Muslim-tide activists,” Saunders writes. “They believe that there are two irreconcilable civilizations, one trying to dominate the other by infiltration and aggression, and that they must fight to protect their traditions and values from the outsiders. This vision, from either perspective, is false and dangerous.” Is integration of Muslims a problem? Yes, in some cases. Though perhaps not simply because they are Muslim, and more because of ingrained systemic issues that tend to isolate a number of people, regardless of religion. “They exhibit no signs of any desire to become a ‘parallel society,’ either culturally or economically – but there are circumstances that could be creating one by default,” Saunders writes. In practice, growing diversity can be a challenge to existing freedoms and the “social practices and shared understandings that historically have sustained those freedoms,” Timothy Garton Ash argued recently in the New York Review of Books. “Anyone with eyes to see must recognize that we are far from a condition of rainbow nation bliss.” But learning how to “defend and enhance the freedoms of an open society in conditions of growing diversity,” Garton Ash writes, “requires close attention to the details of policy on education, housing, the labor market, welfare, culture, political representation, and so on.” Recognizing and addressing all of this is not just a task for those who write public policy. “It is the personal responsibility of every one of us who lives in such a society,” Garton Ash says. “The character of everyday interactions, at school, at work, on the street, in the café, will affect the attitudes of migrants and postmigrants at least as much as any high policy. Small slights alienate, small courtesies integrate.” A thorough reading of Myth of the Muslim Tide could probably be considered to be one of the latter. —Colin Horgan From the Dippers, a carbon price (not a tax!) To the next generation that still sounded lax. From the Grits, invitations to their leadership bash “But who or what is a George Takach?”

Inside the NDP War Room James S. McLean

‘Credibility’ risks sounding like a quaint notion in the cynical world of federal politics, but it takes centre stage in Concordia journalism professor James S. McLean’s descriptively titled Inside the NDP War Room. Through a sociological look at the operations of the New Democrats’ 2006 election campaign nerve centre in Ottawa, the former CBC journalist looks to provide a theoretically based understanding of what drives the modern political messaging machine. The nuts-and-bolts description make for interesting reading and while they may not of themselves appear new to anyone who’s been paying attention, McLean does offer a structured way in which to understand them for anybody willing to do the mental legwork to understand his approach. —Ian Shelton So Near Yet So Far: The Public and Hidden Worlds of Canada Geoffrey Hale

Geoffrey Hale’s So Near Yet So Far offers an original look at the public and behind-the-scenes work of Canada-US relations, but it’s probably not a pool-side read for a holiday vacation. Hale’s informative work reads more like a textbook, suited for the trade, foreign policy, and energy and resource buffs. While Hale makes reference to Canada-US relations in the 1970s, ‘80s and ‘90s, the majority of his critiques focus on the post-9/11 bilateral relationship. He writes that Canada has taken a “default approach” to bilateral relations since 2001, reacting to American

policies rather than working to initiate relations. Among Hale’s many policy recommendations, he suggests a multilevel strategy that appeals to both the Canadian and American public as well as the complicated maze of the US Congress, executive and interest groups – all of which influence American foreign policy in their own ways. Hale calls for a close but not excessively “cozy” relationship with the US. In an effort to move away from the risks of becoming a singlesource exporter to the US, Hale suggests Canada consider other trading partners, like China or India. So Near Yet So Far is a thoughtfully-organized read, using short chapters, concise lists and tightlywritten conclusions to drive Hale’s points home. —Michelle Zilio Dominance & Decline: Making Sense of Recent Canadian Elections Elisabeth Gidengil, Neil Nevitte, André Blais, Joanna Everitt, Patrick Fournier

What happened to the Canadian political landscape over the four elections since 2000? The decline of the Liberals, the rise of the Conservatives, and the emergence of the NDP: Did it all signal a tectonic shift in the national political plates? And what propelled that shift? These are the questions the five authors of Dominance and Decline: Making Sense of Recent Canadian Elections look to answer. As a comprehensive guide to the last decade of Canadian politics, Dominance and Decline serves as a good reference for those seeking to review how the sponsorship scandal cratered the Liberal vote, and how

in the vacuum it created, the upstart Conservatives were able to don the image of economic stewardship. All the while, the NDP won back the union vote (and more) and started to make itself a serious player. After successive majority governments, the last decade was one of the most interesting in Canadian political history. Dominance and Decline shows us why. —Colin Horgan Tell the Newfoundlanders: The True Story of Newfoundland’s Confederation with Canada Greg malone

It is commonly held that the entry of Newfoundland to Canada was a welcome development for the people of the island, but in Don’t Tell the Newfoundlanders: The True Story of Newfoundland’s Confederation with Canada, Greg Malone seeks to set the record straight. Newfoundlanders, he says, played no active role in joining Canada. Instead, confederation was the result of top-secret scheming by British and Canadian authorities. Malone’s resentment of those past British and Canadian authorities is an obvious undercurrent to the book, but he makes it clear his book is a revision of popular history. And his real-life activism points him on a strongly nationalistic bent. This is most apparent than the book’s conclusion, where he states that history has the potential to “make us free” and redefine the provinces’ place in confederation. Where it matters most—providing the reader with groundwork to re-examine the history books— Malone succeeds in crafting a compelling, passionate historical narrative. —Jessie Willms


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13

OPINIONS

2012: The year conservatives lost their mojo by: paul adams

There was a time when the Conservatives would have acted without hesitation on the CNOOC plan to buy Nexen. They might have said firmly they weren’t going to let Communist China into the oilpatch. Or they might have declared that Canada was “open for business”. Either way, they would have made the decision quickly, in absolute selfconfidence, and would have gaped dumbfounded at anyone who couldn’t see the self-evident logic of their position. For half a century, the most striking thing about conservatives was their astonishing sense of certainty. Barry Goldwater, conservative archetype, was utterly unbowed by the fact that the revulsion his ideas inspired somehow managed to make the unlikely figure of Lyndon Johnson the most popular presidential candidate ever. Ronald Reagan was completely unperturbed when his tax cuts and defence spending drove the deficit to unprecedented peace-time heights. Margaret Thatcher paid no notice to the seemingly embarrassing circumstance that her policies initially drove government spending as a proportion of GDP, in part because they reduced GDP. Mike Harris, too, was shrouded in an invisible force field, impenetrable to stubborn facts, contrary argument or cries of pain. Particularly cries of pain. But something has happened since roughly 2008 and the advent of the financial crisis. Insidiously, contradiction, compromise and occasionally even self-doubt have wormed their way into the conservative mind. George W. Bush was the very definition of the self-confidence of the intellectually innocent. No weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? No problem. But Bush had a remarkable personality change as the towers of Wall Street figuratively crumbled. When he announced a $700 billion bailout for the banks, he surrounded himself with advisors — as if to say it hadn’t been hisidea. In interviews on the subject he was a study in dissociation, as if he were listening to himself from a corner of the room, incredulous at his own words. Stephen Harper famously recommended the financial crisis as a “buying opportunity” in the midst of the 2008 election campaign. His finance minister, Jim Flaherty, seemed equally unconcerned, disavowing any intention to stimulate the economy. Two months later Flaherty was back with a budget based on a huge deficit. Harper and Flaherty soon became the unlikely champions of Canada’s bank regulations. South of the border in 2011, conservative Republicans ended up choosing a presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, who had never been a reliable conservative himself but was determined to play one on TV. Ten minutes after he lost, he ceased to have a scintilla of pull on the party he had so recently led — unlike Goldwater, whose spell lasted a generation. Nobody can say quite yet what the Republicans will do next. Here in Canada we now have a Conservative government that wants us to believe it is pro-immigration, even pro-gay rights. In the meantime, it’s hesitating agonizingly over whether to allow a Chinese governmentcontrolled corporation into the oilpatch. These are all signs of a loss of self-confidence similar to that which plagued liberals and social democrats in the 1970s and 1980s as their plans for a Keynesian welfare state started going badly awry. In recent years progressives have begun to recover themselves — most particularly since the Kyoto round of climate change protocols started to fall apart, and the 2008 financial crisis. They have clear goals once again, of reducing inequality and greenhouse gas emissions. Canadian progressives have structural problems, of course, that American Democrats and British Labourites do not: they are divided into warring party sects that undercut one another and allow the Harper Conservatives to thrive. But if progressives could get their act together, they might see that they have conservatives at a point of ideological uncertainty that they have not exhibited for a generation.

All the stockings sat untouched by the fire Nothing in them at all for the kids to admire An omnibus budget, again, why! What can a War of 1812 quarter buy?

AP/Carolyn Kaster

An infinite loop of disaster: Fiscal cliff 2013 Matt Miller, The Washington Post Don’t tell the kids yet, but there’s a chance the United States is about to enter a political twilight zone previously deemed by science (or at least punditry) to be nothing more than a theoretical possibility. Call it the Endless Cliff Hypothesis. ECH holds that, under certain rare circumstances in a democracy, it’s possible to reach a perfectly dysfunctional political equilibrium that perpetuates itself. It’s the political equivalent of the grim equilibrium Keynes famously described, in which an economy becomes stuck in a state of depressed demand and high unemployment that can continue indefinitely unless external forces intervene. In today’s stalemate it means the United States would simply roll from “fiscal cliff” to fiscal cliff without end. Crazy as it sounds, an infinite loop of fiscal cliffs is now within view. Here’s the scenario. Recall that all this started in the summer of 2011, when gridlock in the debt talks and the later breakdown of the supercommittee led to creation of the cliff we now face. It seems almost certain that any new deal that is struck, either before Jan. 1 or some time afterward, will involve some minor near-term “action” or “down payment” combined with the creation of a new fiscal cliff of unpleasant consequences, to be triggered sometime in 2013 if a broader deal on tax and entitlement reform is not reached. This, because a divided Washington needs “a forcing device” to instigate action. But what will have changed in 2013 to produce a different outcome? Arguably nothing. And so we have the prospect of another deal with illusory progress later in 2013, along with the creation of the next

forcing device. Which eventually forces the next sham deal and the creation of the next forcing device. And so on. Endless forcing devices that force the creation of new forcing devices. Cliffs that bequeath future cliffs. Let’s look at how we got here. The United States’ two major parties have been trending toward parliamentary-style behaviour, with more party-line votes and ideological unity. Yet our political institutions don’t feature a parliamentary system’s ability to actually govern. The minority veto in the Senate and a divided government, with the GOP controlling the House, means determined voices can block action. The gerrymandered districts that let the House stay in GOP hands, even though Democrats won a majority of votes in last month’s congressional races, further clogs the arteries. What might break the cycle? In the case of Keynes’ depressed economy, the answer was to boost demand through government spending to jolt the economy toward a new equilibrium at higher levels of output and jobs. Is a political equivalent available? Obviously a stock market meltdown would do the trick, as it did between the first House thumbsdown on the Troubled Assets Relief Program (TARP) in September 2008, and the bill’s passage days later, after an 800-point drop in the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Or we could see a creditor day of reckoning, as with Greece. But unlike the banks’ situation on the eve of TARP, or Greece running out of cash, the debt situation the U.S. faces is not urgent in the near term. In the near term, our problem is slow growth and desperately high unemployment. So markets and creditors might find they can grow accustomed to a new

equilibrium level of hijinks and theater in Washington (so long as the self-induced recession the cliff threatens is kicked down the road, as it will be). No, if we do enter the Endless Cliff scenario, it may be that only elections have the power to shock us out of it. Americans may have to try one-party rule (and its Senate corollary, filibuster reform) to align our officials’ parliamentary behavior with an ability to govern and be held accountable.

The United States’ two major parties have been trending toward parliamentary-style behaviour, with more party-line votes and ideological unity. Yet our political institutions don’t feature a parliamentary system’s ability to actually govern. This is all theoretical. ECH may be a unicorn or a mirage. And if it does happen, the boon for political science and late-night comedy would be dwarfed by the damage to America’s standing in the world. But don’t say it can’t happen. Who would have thought we’d ever have a hostage crisis over the United States’ debt ceiling and a ratings downgrade? If, fiscally speaking, you thought Rod Serling was waiting in the wings in the summer of 2011, by now his cigarette is lit, his script is written and the camera’s red light is about to blink on.

Matt Miller is a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress Action Fund and co-host of public radio’s “Left, Right & Center.”


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CABC congratulates all the participants in our Fall Policy Forum in Ottawa, especially US Ambassador David Jacobson and Canadian Ambassador Gary Doer. Save the date for next year: CABC’s 19th annual conference scheduled for Nov. 5 2013


iPOLITICS.ca — POLITICS IS PERSONAL

15

The Christmas funnies

Parliament 2013: The sitting by the stars

November 23—December 21

Excitable and extroverted, it’s almost impossible to keep the Sagittarius down. But this year, financial management and fundraising are going to occupy your time like the 99 per cent once occupied parks. Soldier through, saucy Sagittarius. Your colleagues need your wit, and the country needs your metaphors.

May 22 — June 21

Expressive and quick-witted, the Gemini always injects new life into a party — like a Lady Gaga song. It is a promising characteristic in a leader, though best appreciated at a gathering with more than one person. Look among your colleagues in 2013. Could you convince one to come join your party?

December 22—January 20

The stars present you with the possibility of a promotion this year, charismatic Capricorn. But others in your midst have their eye on the same position - though few have taken notice. Teamwork will be important as you move ahead — actual teamwork, not just letting people touch you.

June 22 — July 23

After years of your boss attempting to shrink the scope of your portfolio at every turn, you finally have a chance to shine this year in a job at the top of the world. As you begin to work with a new set of colleagues in 2013, remember this: nothing breaks the ice like a good box of baked goods — healthy schmealthy.

January 21—February 19

February 20—March 20

The planets show growth ahead for the artsy Aquarius in 2013. But what exactly is growing? Is it the indignation at federal service cuts? Your record collection? While others eye your festive ties, eye the bottom line. You’ll only ever have 140 characters to defend a wrong move.

Gentle Pisces, you are easygoing and accepting of others around you, however alien. But you have made a commitment in 2013 that means boldly going to new frontiers and beyond. Professional and personal skills will be put to the test. Win over your undecided colleagues by picking up a new, youth-friendly hobby, like skateboarding.

July 24—August 23

August 24—September 23

Dramatic, creative and outgoing, the Leo brings a lot to the table. This spring, you’ll be able to put your feet up on a table when the stars will set you free from the intensive work and travel schedule you’ve been maintaining. With your newfound leisure time, indulge in some Calvin and Hobbes.

The Mayans were right, Canadians sighed, No toys, all ploys, it’s over, worldwide. “We need inspiration. We cannot wait. Let’s bring back Mark Carney, before it’s too late!”

The Virgo is dedicated to serving, which does not go unnoticed (or unrewarded) by others. Your commitment to a new way of doing things will come in handy as issues pile up on your desk, courtesy of the usual suspects. Green is this sign’s lucky colour in 2013.

March 21—April 20

Nothing holds back the boisterous Aries. Not even the presence of, say, cameras or a voice recorder. But fear not, Aries, the new year is a good time to turn over a new leaf. This is the time to make major decisions about highly contentious policies or petitions that you may be backing. Don’t let 2013’s clean slate slide away.

September 24—October 23

The Libra, known for balance, will have to do just that in 2013. A life-changing event is expected in your private life and pretty much always predicted in your professional one. If you stay alert to new opportunities, you may find a solution to all your work-related problems. (Hint: it rhymes with Bavro Barrow.)

April 21—May 21

The Taurus is a lot like a majority Conservative government — strong and stable. But it’s time to ditch that reliability and embrace your creative side this year. Consider tackling those long-delayed home renovations in 2013.

October 24—November 22

If you want to sit back and sip some Dom Pérignon, no one’s going to argue after the 2012 you’ve had. In the new year, you’ll have some tough decisions to make on future policy and partners. But keep an eye on your health — it can’t be good for your system to smile through your inner rage so regularly.



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