Homesickness
Now what?
Real life story & Tips
Hello! My name is Isa Hebben and I have been abroad to London from September 2015 until January 2016. In these 5 months I have learned how it is to deal with homesickness. Because this was an hard period for me, which I happily ‘survived’ and made into a very precious period, I taught about writing this brochure. Therefore this brochure goes about my own ‘real life’ story, tips which could help you (which I have undergo myself) and a small piece about all the good things I have experienced through going on with my time abroad. Homesickness is not something you should be afraid or ashamed of, it is a serious illness which (almost only) you can fight against. Off course you can get help from the outside, but is starts with you. I have been there, crying on my bed because I really wanted to go home and go back to my normal and safe life but at the same time not wanted to give up and disappointed myself and everyone who has supported me on my trip. Because I could not find enough information on the internet which could help me, I have decided to write this brochure. Therefore this brochure is not only for someone who has homesickness, but also for people who want to go abroad but do not yet know what they can expect, for people who know people which are abroad and of course for people who just want to know something about homesickness. For all you guys there is (hopefully) some useful information in this brochure. I wish you all the joy and luck during reading this brochure and hopefully I can help someone with this.
xxx Isa
My own story If someone asks me now, after I have been abroad for 5 months, how London was. I can only say: ‘ The beginning was hard but at the end it was so much worth it!’. I have been abroad for 5 months, not very far away as you can read, I went to London. I have chosen for this city because I think London is the New York of Europa, to improve my English skills, to learn to live on my own and because I really wanted to go abroad, but was to scared to go far away. Because I am a very busy person, I have done everything last minute (to be honest I have packed my bags at 9 pm on Sunday and left my home on 5 am the day after). This was because I did not gave myself enough time in the last few weeks, I came back from my holiday two weeks before and have participated into an soccer week the week before I went abroad. Looking back at my journey, I think this was already the first mistake I had made.
When I came in London, I was very excited and wanted to do everything at the same time (I think I can describe this with the feeling you have when you visit a new holiday location for the first time). Only the first day I had already seen all of the highlights from London, and came late back in my hotel and very tired. The second day my internship started, because I did not had already a sleeping place for myself, this day was only about searching for an place. Happily at the end of the day I had two visitings. One of these visitings was extremely terrible (Read: doors kicked down, dirty bathroom and kitchen, lots of different temperaments in an environment and stuff on the ground you do not even dare to touch). After this I went to the second place, which was a heaven.
All alone, but still no time for myself. The landlord was a bit strange, but everything was so clean. Through this big difference, I immediately choose for the second home, which I can call my
second mistake. During my stay with the crazy landlord, I needed to do a lot of strange things for her (cleaning the garden, working for her charity and helping her with her online shop), because she couldn’t do this. But because I did not get paid for this and it was very hard to understand, I didn’t had any time left for myself. Through this I felt very alone and stressed. These symptoms should have warned me to look for a new place to stay, but unfortunately I was to scared to start over again. Happily I know from myself that I am a surviver and went through with everything and my internship was a very nice place to stay and work. Through this I have survived my stay abroad and I have learned a lot from it. But to be honest, I couldn’t enjoy it enough through the feeling that there was nowhere a place I could feel home. Even tough this experience was so beautiful, I really want to go abroad another time soon. But also through this experience I know I want to stay somewhere where I can feel safe and have a laugh!
How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodby so hard. - Winnie the Pooh -
Tips 1
Start early with backing your bags Through this you know for sure you don’t forget anything which seems at first something not important, but ends up very special.
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Give yourself a lot of freedom in the last week of being home. Don’t forget to think about yourself, only because you want to be with everyone before you go. Through this it can be that you miss everyone else much harder.
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Invite friends and family When you are not too far away from your home country, or when you have very rich friends, it is always good to invite them over to your ‘new’ home. It is not only good to have a great time together, but it is also great to show all the experiences you have been throug.
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Find a good home With this I mean, this home needs to feel as your own home. (Mostly) you pay for this room, therefore it is important that you can be yourself in your own room. When you do not feel relaxed at your home, it is better to search for something else because other wise you cannot take a break from everything.
Search and read as many as you can about your destination Not only so you know wherever you need to go to, but when you have already learned about the city your are going, you get earlier the feeling that you already know the place which gives you more the feeling of being home.
Speak with people who have been/ are abroad about the city where you are going to. Through changing experiences you can learn a lot.
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Keep in contact with your family and friends In this time, 2016, we (almost) all have access to the Internet, use this! Through all different kinds of programs you can keep in contact with your friends and family. You can exchange all the beautiful things you have experienced and you can follow everything what’s going on at home (trust me, almost everything at home keeps the same). But when you are having contact with family or friends, keep it positive. It is very hard for friends and family to hear how hard it is for you, and through this you keep your feelings the same. Off course it is always good to speak about all the difficulties you have struggled with, but after this, keep it positive!
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Try to find a hobby to do Because you probably get a lot more spare time being abroad as being at home. It is an opportunity for yourself to improve any of your skills. Try to improve your skills in cooking, photography, writing or something complete different!
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Go to the gym, write When you find it very hard to get a good feeling abroad. It is very useful to go to the gym. have a run or do something else which needs a lot of energy. Through these things you can make your head empty and get a new start with thinking. Also, it feels always very good when you are burning calories! But when you are really not an active person, you can also get this feeling by writing everything down where you are thinking of. Through this the change is high that you get another point of view towards everything and through this get a better mood.
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Make friends Off course it is hard to go and make friends on your own. But through searching on the web, being outside a lot, go to the gym or go out, you can already get to know a lot potential friends. Those friends do not need to be for ever, but how cool is it to have friends (a free sleeping place) across the world.
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