Washed Away Noemie Picard French-United World College of South East Asia, Singapore (2st Place)
“Nuna?” the boy called. He was small, about four years old with soft shaggy brown hair and dark sleepy eyes. “Hm?” The girl looked up from her book, she was pretty, with shiny black hair and a round youthful face, her eyes, however, were dark and weary, adding a couple of years to her age. Dark eyes are always filled with secrets, I thought to myself. The boy was lying on the only mattress in the centre of the room, next to the mattress was a chest of drawers with a mirror balanced on top. Bordering the rest of the walls were two chairs, a tall lamp and a small fan. Tangled between the boy’s legs was a flower print duvet, partially thrown off onto the warm wooden floor. The girl sighed, closing her book before climbing over to the mattress where she adjusted her brother’s blanket. “What’s rain like?” the boy murmured whilst the girl gently smoothed his hair back. Her fingers paused mid-stroke while she recalled the cool wetness of the raindrops falling from the sky in thousands of watery globes, how when the sun arose a spectrum of colour would reflect across the sky, how after every storm, the ground would smell richer and look flatter than before. Her eye discoursed and a small smile appeared on her face before she turned back to her brother. “Remember when you cried, Jun-sung? Rain is like the sky crying, falling from the clouds.” she sat down on the warm wooden floors next to the mattress. “You heard it today, right? When I went out?” “Mm-hm.” the boy stretched himself, his chubby hands clamped into fists. “It was loud, like Aboji’s stomach.” the girl smiled for a fraction of a second. It was hard to think about Aboji, her late father. Because you’re a liar, I whispered into her ear. She gritted her teeth, not saying a word, focusing on her brother only. “Does rain hurt?” Jun-sung asked, his blinks became more laborious.
“Sometimes, it’s so strong and heavy it does hurt,” the girl explained, “sometimes when it’s very thin and sharp it can sting you… but rain can also be very light and soft,” she let her memories run loose, remembering what her late mother had once told her. “Many people believe that rain represents new beginnings, the rain washes away the good and bad things, it’s a new start-” The boy yawned, cutting her short. “Time to sleep, Jun-Sung.” she pulled the covers up to his chin, kissing his small forehead gently. “One day…” Jun-Sung spoke between yawns, “When the bad men are gone, I’ll go outside and play in the rain…” he fell asleep mid-sentence. The girl was glad, she had never been good at covering up her emotions, her face was undeniably guilt-ridden, covered up badly with a small tentative smile. You should feel ashamed, I whispered harshly. Angrily. The girl exhaled strongly through her nose, she stood up and returned to her chair, ignoring me completely, before picking up her book again. A moment later, I followed. She continued reading, her eyes skimming the paper and never looking up. Ignorance doesn’t make me go away, Nari. I blew into the book, the pages flicked across so quickly that Nari had no time to react, we ended back at the front page. Small letters that didn’t match the print of the paper were written across the blank page. Sa rang ha nin Nari (To Nari), From Omoni, Take good care of your brother, he depends on you, Always know that Omma and Aboji love You very very much. You will be Such A good sister to your brother, I’m Fairly sure that you’ll get along fine, Everywhere you go, Omoni and Aboji will look after you,
Her eyes skimmed down the message before she began flipping her way back through the book, searching for her lost page. Why do you ignore your mother? Nari flipped through a page, never once looking up to acknowledge me. I slapped the book out of her hands.
“Stop that,” Why do you refuse to take care of your brother properly? “You don’t know what you’re talking about, I listen to my Omoni,” she said shutting me off. Turning away, I heard her murmur, “How would you know what she meant, you aren’t even human.” I’m in a ghost form, aren’t I? That means I was once human. She let out an aggravated grumble, flicking through her book again “I don’t need your help. I don’t need you to school me either on how to take care of my brother or honour my parents so why don’t you just leave?” I can’t do that, “Oh yeah? Why not? I never asked for you to be here,” I didn’t ask either, “Then why are you here?” Because you need me, “No. I. Don’t.” Then why do you keep yourself in here alone with him? Nari gritted her teeth annoyed. “Shut up and leave me alone,” Silence. No, I dodged out of the way quickly, her book sailed through the air and smacked the wall behind me, sliding down and bumping onto the mattress, inches away from Jun-Sung’s head. Nari froze, waiting for Jun-Sung to react, he stirred slightly but didn’t wake up. Nari sighed in relief, tip toe-running over to pick up her book, I followed. “I'm doing it for our safety,” Nari said quietly, “For me and Jun-Sung,” she snapped the book shut, placing it on top of a dresser where all the photographs were kept, they were covered in white cloths that had gone grey with dust that had been collected over the years. Does he need it?...or do you? I asked softly, her hand halted over the dresser while she took my question into consideration. She caught my gaze in the mirror for a fraction of a second but it only made
her straighten up and walk swiftly through me. Her body sank right into mine, it didn’t hurt, nothing could hurt me. But it was her clear reminder saying that I was still a ghost and couldn’t force her physically into doing anything. She was quiet as she arranged her pillow and blanket next to Jun-Sung’s sleeping body. I watched her quietly, never moving, still waiting for an answer. “How do you think we've survived this long? Because we stay inside,” Her words were as sharp as the click of the lamp as she switched it off, but even so, there was still that faltering note of uncertainty. “Good night.” Nari lay down, turned her back to me and faced Jun-Sung who was already fast asleep, unaware of anything. I watched Nari as her breathing slowly became deeper and more even until it was almost in sync with Jun-Sung. Nari curled up in a ball, her expression no longer angry but peaceful and stress-free. When she was asleep she lost a couple of years and reduced back to her vulnerable twelve-year-old self. Jun-Sung was splayed out next to her, with one hand on Nari’s cheek, and the other flung over his head, he still always carried that young exciting wonderment of the world outside. I drifted over, brushing my fingertips across his forehead, filling his dreams with the forgotten world outside, The pinenut smell of the forests, the iced-cap mountains he loved to watch on the television set, the soft rain in the early morning splattering onto a pond, creating infinite ripples. I wished that I could give him more, not just sight and hearing, but also taste, smell, and touch. And not just these memories that I collected, but his own ones, the ones that would last his whole life and not just a single night. Sensing that he was now completely zonked out, I crept into the next room. This part of the house served as a kitchen and a living room, the only thing separating the two sides was the change of floor from wooden planks to white tiles. Glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one was following me, I drifted over to the radio. With a quick tweak and a small push, the radio suddenly came to life. “Cases of the Coronavirus have been seen to decrease to the last couple of hundreds thanks to the new vaccine recently released about three months ago. Those who are still unwell are said to be on a steady road to recovery and should be healthy in a couple of weeks.” The door behind me flung open and Nari came charging out, every muscle in her face was tensed and angry, but she walked swiftly and calmly over to the radio before slamming her hand onto the ‘off’ button. I locked my eyes on the button keeping it as stiff as possible against her jabbing finger. “Are you crazy?!” she hissed, “You’ll wake up Jun-Sung!” He’s asleep, She tried to push me, but her hands slid right through, I grabbed the radio, hopping on top of the tv set where I turned the sound up higher.
“... the unfortunate event that took place internationally on the 15th of July three years ago orphaning millions and destroying the trust between populations has taken its toll on the country.” “Turn. It. Off!” Nari lunged at me with a rolling pin grabbed off the kitchen table, it swung right through me making contact with the radio. It sailed through the air, the man still chattering about the 7/15 incident before smashing into the wall and raining down in pieces on the carpet. Nari fell to her knees, holding the broken chunks of metal. “You idiot,” she muttered angrily, “that was a present from my father to my mom,” her eyes grew shiny as she tried to piece the radio together. Her breathing grew more strong and angry, her hands clenched the metal pieces tighter and tighter each time she failed to piece it back together correctly. Nari? No answer. Nari, C’mon. I was just“I’m going to bed,” she announced. She walked over to the bedroom door, “try not to break anything else,” she gripped the door handle and yanked at it. It didn’t budge. Twisting it harder, she tried to open it again… it stayed tightly shut. Puzzled, she looked around, her eyes landing on me, on my gaze focused on the door handle. “What are you doing?” she twisted the door handle as hard as she could. “Stop it… Stop!” No, I stayed stone-faced, even when her face flushed pink and her hands folded into fists. Go on, I remained composed, Hit me, I won’t feel anything, it’d probably do more damage to you than me. Her hands loosened promptly, though her eyes remained narrowed with anger. Defeated, she leaned against the wall and slid down into a seated position with her knees drawn up to her chest. “Make this quick,” Nari ordered. I rolled my eyes at her surly attitude. Why do you make it so difficult, Nari? She shrugged “It’d be easier without you here,” Good,
“What do you mean good?” she spluttered, It’s good that I make it harder for you, Nari’s mouth fell open, there was a moment where she struggled to find words to speak. “Well, I-... Why do you care anyway?” she attacked, “Hm? Because you have nothing better to do? You don’t have any say in my brother’s life.” It’s not his life I’m concerned about. She opened her mouth again, ready to retort my words with harsher ones. There was no sound… hesitation. She snapped her mouth shut again. It’s yours, She snorted, using the movement to toss her head away from looking at me. “I don’t need help,” she tucked her hair behind her ear. Denying it never helps, you realise that right? “I’m not denying anything!” aggravated Nari, I let the silence envelop the space, even so, her words still echoed, filling the silence. She buried her face into her lap, frustrated and tired. Her shoulders were still, but I could see the tension in her back, refraining from the body-juddering sobs. I drifted closer to her, the ends of my cloak were just under a foot away from her calves. She suddenly sat up raising her hands above her head and slapping them onto her knees. “Look,” she looked at me through tear-filled eyes, less than a blink away from spilling over. “My parents told me to keep me and my brother safe, I’m honouring their words as any good child would.” she sniffled, wiping her nose with the edge of her sleeve. A small rumble far off in the distance echoed around the house, the lights flickered gently followed by a crackle of thunder. I looked up at the ceiling, picturing thick grey clouds crowding together, forced by the wind. I pictured the pieces of water vapour smashing into one another growing heavier and heavier, building up into tiny orbs of water. I looked over at Nari, based on her expression, I could see she was thinking of the same thing. “A storm is coming,” she whispered beneath her breath,
Yeah, I guess there is, I crouched down so that I was sitting next to her. We let the rumbles fill in several moments of silence, the sounds filled me with memories of my past life. I grew up in a bomb shelter, I suddenly blurted out. Nari looked at me, intrigued and confused. I never went out, even after the war ended because there were still so many germans around. I paused, waiting for Nari to say some snarky comment, but she was quiet, listening intently. Then one day, my parents didn’t return, they had left to go on a raid, clothes, blankets, food and money. They promised to be back in a couple of days but I never saw them again. I left because there was no more food, and eventually… My limited knowledge of the outside world cost me. I didn’t even know how to start or work a conversation! “You lived in a shelter for twelve years?” Nari asked in disbelief. No, I remember before the shelter, when I was five years old. That’s why I thought that bombs were thunderstorms. I smiled slightly, remembering my human foolishness. But I was wrong obviously. A flash of lightning cued a series of pitter-pattering on the tiled roofs. Soft at first, like the sound of wind or tiny footsteps running across, then louder, large drum sticks, pounding at the roof, accompanied by a rumble of thunder and finished off with the trickling of water as the rain ran off the side of the house. “I don’t want to lose Jun-Sung too.” Nari suddenly said, I looked over, her gaze met me halfway, she was crying properly now, tears spilling out of her eyes, she didn’t bother to wipe them away. “I know that Aboji and Omoni are dead, I saw the 7/15, I knew it then.” her words began to break, sobs cutting in at various moments. You’re scared, She sniffled sounding like she was holding a chuckle, “Yeah, I am,” she smiled weakly, “Jun-Sung’s all I have left, if he dies, I won’t have a purpose anymore.” the rain poured harder, making it more difficult to hear. We waited for the noise to die down, crashing of thunder and the thumping of the wind. What if you died, Nari? I asked I remembered the falling pit sensation when my parents didn’t come home. What becomes of Jun-Sung? Nari covered her eyes with the heels of her hands, “I don’t know…” Jun-Sung won’t stay little forever, Nari, he’ll start to become curious, as I did. He’ll find a way to get out. Nari stayed still, not reacting to my words, but I could tell she was listening. Your stories are great, but one day, they won’t work anymore.
“How do I tell him? How do I let him know that everything I told him about the bad men and our parents was a lie?” Nari asked desperately, she looked at the door behind her. “He’s still just a little boy.” It’s not my position to say, Another rumble of thunder made the house tremble slightly, the rain picked up its pace, falling more rapidly than before. I thought back to Jun-Sung’s question about rain and how Nari had answered. “New beginnings…” Nari murmured, I nodded in return, thinking of the same thing. The bedroom door opened, Nari tripped backwards but caught herself in time. “Nuna,” It was Jun-Sung, still in his pyjamas, his hair ruffled and eyes puffy with sleep. He crawled into Nari’s arms. “The bad men, they came to me in my sleep, they’re breaking the house.” He said. Nari looked at me wide-eyed, I nodded in reassurance. Hesitantly, she stroked Jun-Sung’s hair back and sat him up on her lap. “No bad men can hurt you, Jun-Sung, they have to go through me first.” she smiled pulling Jun-Sung into a hug. “Can you hear the rain outside?” she asked, her voice muffled in his clothes. “Yeah,” Jun-Sung shuddered, “It’s scary,” “Is it now?” Nari asked, playing up, a mischievous smile appeared on her face. “Should we go and play with it?” Jun-Sung looked at her cautiously, his brow furrowed with confusion. “Come on,” Nari picked up Jun-Sung and went to the door, he clung tightly to her shoulders, bewildered by the sudden change in her attitude. The door had a simple latch that needed only a tiny flick, the door was blown open by the wind and Nari and Jun-Sung were met with a spray of cold water. “Nari!” Jun-Sung exclaimed in shock, “The bad men will get us! We have to go back!” he wailed. He struggled to get out of Nari’s arms. “Jun-Sung! Jun-Sung! Look at Nuna,” Nari, tipped his chin upwards to face the dark sky filled with falling rain, it roared and flashed white, spraying more water onto them. “The bad men won’t hurt you, remember what I told you? Rain means new beginnings, this is a new beginning.” She spread her arm out in front of them, emphasizing harder. “And this time,” she looked straight into Jun-Sung’s eyes, “there are no more bad men.” Jun-Sung turned away, looking at this new and strange beginning before his eyes, a beginning of adventures, a beginning of possibilities, a beginning of a whole new queer world full of wonders and answers.
“Do you want to go and celebrate our new beginning?” Nari asked, Jun-Sung nodded eagerly and they both stepped out under the rain, washing away the past beneath their feet and dancing towards the future of their new beginning.
Translations Nuna - Older sister Omoni - Mother Aboji - Father Sa rang ha nin Nari - Korean form of saying “dear (name)” used mostly for people of close relation.