GRAND, Vol IV Ed IV, Winter 21-22 by Island Parent Group

GRAND Vol. IV, Ed. IV

grandmag.ca

Giving Where We Live Who’s the Boss?

The art of reasoning

Grandparent (& Grandkid) Getaways

Cultivating Wonder

Your donations help Family Services of Greater Victoria provide the following professional programs and services to families in the region.

FAMILY SERVICES OF GREATER VICTORIA

PROGRAMS AND SERVICES Caught in the Middle Counselling/Therapy Services Art/Play Therapy Techniques Facilitated Parent–Child Connection In-Person & Telehealth Services

Mediation for Couples New Ways for Families® Parent Support & Resources Separation Resource Services Support for Grandparents

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Build a legacy and Help Transform lives Consider giving a lasting gift to help local families build a strong foundation for a brighter future.

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Vol. IV, Ed. IV 3

Just Kidding

T i ck ets & i n fo a r e a va i l a b l e on l i n e a t: www.th eatreon e.ca J u st Ki d d i ng fo r K i d s i s a t hr ee-s ho w se ries f o r y o ung c hildren intro duc ing them to t h e mag i c o f t heat r e, p r o v i d i ng pare nts, grandpare nts, and o ther c aregiv e rs an e n t ert ai n i ng , o f t en ed uc at i o nal alternativ e f o r f amily ente rtainme nt.

RA IN CIT Y IMP ROV

JAN. 29, 20 22 | 1 :0 0 PM MALASPINA TH E ATRE Fast - paced, hilarious, and highly int eract iv e ! Every show feat ures fun, inclusiv e improv sc e nes using willing v olunt eers and a variet y of div erse audience suggest io ns.

P E NNY P OM P OM

APR. 9, 20 22 | 1 :0 0 PM MALASPINA TH E ATRE Thi s show for y o ung children is co lo urful, musical and int eract iv e and fo cuses o n t he i mpo rt ance o f creat iv it y and selfe mpowerment .

A BIRDY TOLD ME SO -

K E LLY H AINE S

MAY 28, 20 22 | 1 :0 0 PM MALASPINA TH E ATRE

Ve nt riloquist , puppet eer, and family e ntert ainer K ellie Haines combines wit t y re part ee wit h liv ing and breat hing puppet c haract ers ev ery o ne can relat e t o !

Questions: | office@theatreone.ca | 250-754-7587 4 GRAND

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CONTENTS

6 7 Grand: Ideas + Inspiration 8 Cultivating Wonder The importance of passing along

the ability to feel wonder in the face of life’s beauty. RACHEL DUNSTAN MULLER

Where We Live 10 Giving What to know about community foundations and leaving a legacy. SALT SPRING ISLAND FOUNDATION

Don’t Save 12 Savour, How to live a life of no regrets. JACQUI GRAHAM

(& Grandkid) 14 Grandparent Getaways Hit the road and check out some of the many family-friendly Island destinations.

Health Tips 16 10HowMental to start the New Year in the right state of mind. DR. TYLER R. BLACK

Books for 18 Choosing Children & Teens What to look for when considering storybooks and the age-appropriate genres the young readers in your life. THE CANADIAN CHILDREN’S BOOK CENTRE

Apple a Day 20 An Three recipes to make and share with your grandchildren. EMILLIE PARRISH

Learned 22 Lessons from Homeschooling The upside of high expectations. TIM COLLINS

the Boss? 24 Who’s Teaching our grandchildren about accountability.

Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old

ot only is that the title of a new book by Steven Petrow and Roseann Foley Henry, but it is also a way to take inventory of life so far and a road map of how to best approach what’s left. A self-proclaimed “highly judgmental, unapologetically honest accounting of all the things our elders are doing wrong”—from double spacing after a period to blathering on about our aches and pains, making us part of what Petrow calls the “organ recital”—Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old provides a practical list of the do’s and don’ts of aging. Don’t hoard. Do let your hair go gray. Don’t bore relatives, or complete strangers, with tales of aches and pains. Do ask for help when you need it—so reading glasses when your vision starts to fail. Don’t drive until long after you’ve become a danger to others. Do make friends with people

younger—and older—than you. Don’t eat dinner at 4pm. Don’t avoid looking at yourself naked in the mirror. And don’t fall prey to “everyday ageism”—including everything from dismissive quips about not being able to use a smart phone properly to jokes about losing memories or hearing. “This reinforces the stereotype that old is bad and young is good,” says Petrow. “According to the World Health Organization, older adults who hold negative views about their own aging live, on average, 7.5 years less than people with positive views.” That means, ageism is as harmful to our health as smoking, he adds. Getting older is a privilege. Live each day with that in mind. As Gabriel García Márquez once wrote: “It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old; they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.”

SUSAN GNUCCI Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca

ON THE COVER Layla B (1) & Jacqueline Neligan

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Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca

Vol. IV, Ed. IV

grandmag.ca

Giving Where We Live Who’s the Boss?

The art of reasoning

Grandparent (& Grandkid) Getaways

Photo by Ashley Marston ashleymarstonbirth photography.com instagram.com/ ashleymarstonphotography

grandmag.ca

Cultivating Wonder

Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca RaeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager raeleigh@islandparent.ca GRAND, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a digital publication that honours and supports grandparents by providing information on resources and businesses for families and a forum for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. 518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5

250-388-6905 grandmag.ca

A proud member of

BC Vol. IV, Ed. IV 5

Ideas + Inspiration

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Queer at Sea:

Tales from the 2SLGBTQ+ Community This new exhibit at the Maritime Museum of BC opens on May 17, 2022 and runs through the the summer. Queer and trans communities have long been a part of BC’s maritime history and culture. This exhibit will showcase those histories and culture, celebrate the roles and contributions queer and trans people have made to BC’s maritime sectors, and will acknowledge work that remains to eliminate discrimination against the 2SLGBTQ+ community in the marine sectors. The Museum is seeking input from queer and trans individuals who are willing to voluntarily share their stories for use in the exhibit. The deadline for sharing your story is March 4. To share your story, complete the online form at mmbc.bc.ca.

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P is for 100 Percent

Commemorative Terry Fox Sash

One hundred percent of royalties from P Is for Puffin will be donated to Wildlife Conservation Network (WCN) to protect the endangered species that inspired this book. WCN protects endangered wildlife by supporting conservationists who ensure wildlife and people coexist and thrive. WCN finds conservationists who deploy the most effective solutions to save wildlife and their habitats and provides them with financial and technical resources to bring those solutions to life. Wildlife Conservation Network sends 100 percent of designated donations directly to the field to ensure maximum impact. wildnet.org.

Métis Nation British Columbia (MNBC) and the Fox Family have partnered to create a limited-edition commemorative Terry Fox Sash. The sash, available online, is now available for order. The product will ship in mid-December. All proceeds of the sash will go directly to the Terry Fox Foundation. A sash with a commemorative patch of Terry will also be available from the Terry Fox Foundation. shop.terryfox.org and metisnation-british-columbia. myshopify.com.

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Transportation Solutions

A Shift In Thinking

Infant & Child First Aid

John Lithgow on Storyline Online

F.A.S.T. Track, a Funding Accelerator for Seniors Transportation, arose out of a need to create forward-thinking transportation solutions for older Canadians Transportation providers of all types, sizes and systems, and those who provide various supports to seniors transportation in Canada, are invited to build their community profile at fasttrackcanada.org. Respondents will answer questions about the current services that are available in their community and will be asked to identify what gaps and barriers exist. Submissions are currently being accepted online at fasttrackcanada.org. The deadline for applications is January 21, 2022.

Creatively United’s founder, Frances Litman, has been chosen as one of 12 finalists selected to speak Saturday, February 19 between 1 and 5 pm at TEDxSurrey at the 1,000+ seat Bell Performing Arts Centre in Surrey, BC. TEDxSurrey is widely recognized as the premier TEDx event in Western Canada. The theme for TEDxSurrey 2022 is A Shift in Thinking. For speaker and ticket information, please visit tedxsurrey.ca.

This course consists of an online, self-paced module (approximately 1 hour), followed by an in-class practical skills component (2 hours), and will prepare you to recognize and treat infant illnesses and injuries, including mild and severe choking, infant CPR, childhood fevers, infant seizures, poisoning, allergic reactions and injury/illness prevention. The in-class portion will be led by a certified instructor from Alert First-Aid and will provide you with a chance to practice these skills and ask questions. $100 for two people. For dates and times, visit motheringtouch.ca.

Hear John Lithgow read his ninth children’s book, Never Play Music Right Next to the Zoo, for Storyline Online®, the beloved children’s literacy program. Lithgow takes his audience to an outdoor classical music concert that’s just a hop skip and a trot away from a local zoo, and when the animal residents get an earful of song, anything can, and does, happen! An Emmy-nominated program of the non-profit SAGAFTRA Foundation, Storyline Online streams 65 videos at no cost to children, parents and educators worldwide. For more information, visit storylineonline.net.

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Vol. IV, Ed. IV 7

GRANDparenting

Cultivating Wonder If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement, and mystery of the world we live in...If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life. – Rachel Carson, American biologist

t was the perfect autumn morning for a forest stroll, with crisp leaves underfoot and an electric blue sky above our heads. While the walk itself was pleasurable, my grandchildren, their parents, and their grandfather and I

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were on a mission: to see the salmon spawning in our local stream. The water was running high after several days of torrential rain, and the fish proved elusive at first. But one by one we began to spot them. They were an impressive sight, muscling their way against the current. I couldn’t help but feel a touch of awe as I watched them fighting their way upstream, wild creatures playing their part in a cycle that stretches back for millions of years. If I pass on anything to my grandchildren, I hope it’s this: the ability to feel wonder in the face of life’s beauty. For wonder in turn brings all kinds of good things. It stimulates curiosity and creativity. It inspires gratitude, reverence, and a sense that we are part of something much vaster than ourselves. And did my grandchildren—ages 3, 4 and 6—feel some measure of wonder as they stood beside me at the water’s edge? I don’t know; I didn’t ask. Wonder isn’t something that can be taught or measured like memorizing the alphabet. In fact to pressure a child to feel wonder would be the surest way to send it fleeing. Wonder is itself like a wild salmon. We know when and where we’re most likely to find it, but there’s no guarantee it will show up. We can only pay attention and be grateful when it does appear. Children have a natural capacity for wonder. The world is still new after all, and so they see everything with fresh and inquisitive eyes. But given the screens and other distractions that increasingly compete for their attention, we as the adults who love them need to be intentional in the experiences we provide our youngest generation. Here on Vancouver Island, we are spoiled for natural wonders: the salmon spawning in our rivers, the sea grandmag.ca

lions barking in our bays, the eagles soaring above our estuaries – even whales swimming off our coast. And if the wildlife doesn’t show up, there’s always the scenery to fall back on, from the hidden treasures of Horne Lake Caves, to the spectacular geological formations of Port Renfrew’s Botanical Beach, to the big waves of Tofino or the ancient trees of Avatar Grove. While it’s still many months away, glowing phytoplankton on a moonless summer night is one Island wonder I will be actively pursuing. When tiny marine algae called dinoflagellates are present near the surface of the water, any agitation (a kayak paddle, swirling stick or thrown pebble) will make them sparkle and glow. It’s well worth staying up late for this magical experience, and finding a dark bay away from the light pollution of urban development. And if it happens to be mid-August and you’re already up, you might also want to position yourself and your grandchildren to watch the Perseid Meteor Shower. In my experience, wonder shows up most reliably in moments of attention and stillness. While I challenge anyone not to fill at least a stirring of awe under a clear night sky filled with “falling stars,” or beside a 1,000 year-old Cedar tree with a circumference of 11 metres, size and scale aren’t essential when courting wonder. Small things can be just as effective, especially for young children: hermit crabs or anemones in a tidal pool; dragonflies skimming over the surface of a pond; toes dipped in a shallow stream; the first salmon, or thimble, or huckleberry of the season; the first snowflake caught on the tongue. As much as I’m personally drawn to the natural world, it’s far from the only source of wonder, of course. Any beaugrandmag.ca

tiful or moving experience can inspire it, from a striking artwork, to a stirring piece of music, to the tug of a kitestring as a colourful kite dips and soars overhead. What matters most is that we are ready and receptive to experience the gift being offered, that fragile moment when the universe cracks open just wide enough to give us a glimpse of something shining. Attitude is everything when it comes to cultivating wonder. We can help our grandchildren by modeling our own attentiveness and delight when we see or hear or feel something that moves us deeply. Our own awe serves as a signal that there’s something worth paying attention to. It gives our grandkids permission to feel and express deep emotion as well, as they discover and explore the world. What moves our grandchildren may turn out to be very different from what moves us. And that’s a wonder in itself—how unique each one of us is. I for one can’t wait to learn each of my grandchildren’s “wonder” languages.

Rachel Dunstan Muller is a children’s author, storyteller, podcaster and grandmother. You can find her two podcasts Hintertales: Stories from the Margins of History and Sticks and Stones and Stories through her website at racheldunstanmuller.com, or wherever you normally get your podcasts.

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 9

Money & Finances

Giving Where We Live Community foundations and your legacy

ost of us don’t approach the task of preparing a will with great enthusiasm, but instead with the sober realization that we are taking steps to make life easier for our loved ones after we are gone. As we engage in estate planning, we consider many factors—personal, legal and financial—in order to ensure that the transfer of assets will proceed according to our wishes and with minimal complications.

A will can also be a powerful instrument that allows us to support and preserve the ideals, causes and charities that are important to us. According to Will Power, an education campaign designed to inspire and empower Canadians to leave a bequest 10 GRAND

to charity, only 5 per cent of us do so. Yet, imagine what our favourite charities could accomplish if more Canadians left them a small bequest. And it’s not only charities that benefit; charitable gifts made in a will can reduce the amount of taxes levied against your estate. If you are considering leaving a charitable bequest, it’s well worth having a closer look at your local community foundation. More than 90 per cent of Canadians are served by a community foundation, with a national total of 191, and British Columbia leads the country with 49. Community foundations are charitable, non-profit organizations that serve geographically defined communities, building endowment funds in order to give grants to projects that improve the local quality of life. Community foundations are governed by local boards and generally supported by donations pooled from within the community. They vary greatly in size and scope, from the Vancouver Foundation, which makes a huge impact province-wide, to foundations operating on a much smaller scale, offering targeted grants that build healthier and more livable communities. “All community foundations are true examples of neighbours helping neighbours,” says Kate Merry, Salt Spring Island Foundation board member and chair of the Donor Relations Committee. “Many rely on volunteers to do much of their work, which means that they maintain strong grassroots connections to their communities.” grandmag.ca

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foundations will also provide sample clauses for your will to use in consultation with your advisors. • Discuss your plans with your financial and legal advisors to ensure that you will benefit from maximum tax advantages. This could include the option of naming a charity as a beneficiary of your RRSP, RRIF or TFSA. • Discuss your plans with your family. This will make your future wishes clear and more likely to be implemented without challenge, and it involves your partner, children, grandchildren or other beneficiaries in your philanthropic goals. The COVID-19 pandemic has reinforced the importance of a healthy and caring community. We all benefit from strong and resilient local infrastructure and charities that assist

with medical, social, environmental and food security needs. Many of us now work where we live. Community foundations offer the opportunity to give where we live and to leave an enduring legacy for future generations. To find your local community foundation to speak to about your legacy, visit communityfoundations.ca/ find-a-community-foundation.

The Salt Spring Island Foundation is trusted agent of philanthropy that has built an endowment fund through the generosity of their supporters, who are rewarded by the knowledge that their contributions are well invested through long-term financial growth and by the lasting benefits their grants deliver throughout Salt Spring Island.

BA BI E S G R

B E ST B A BY G IF

Endowment funds allow community foundations to assist with long-term needs, such as mental health support, affordable housing, food security and community infrastructure, as well as projects in many other areas. But community foundations also support funds that meet immediate needs, which has been critically important to the survival of charities during the COVID-19 pandemic. With deep community connections, they partner with donors and other local organizations to encourage community action, stimulate new ideas, build participation and strengthen philanthropy. Community foundations offer personal and flexible service, helping donors to meet their goals while offering tax advantages. If you choose to leave a legacy to a community foundation, you can specify that it be pooled with other gifts in a permanent endowment fund or spent within a shorter period of time. Grants given by community foundations generally assist a wide range of initiatives, but there are also field of interest funds that address specific areas—children and youth, arts and culture, the environment and mental health, to name just a few. Depending on the amount of your bequest, you may be able to designate a field of interest fund or even a specific charity as a recipient. Alternatively, you can allow the community foundation to choose where your funds can best meet a pressing community need. Kate Merry offers a few tips for those considering a legacy to a community foundation: • Meet with representatives of your community foundation to learn more about their work and to ensure that gifts are structured in the best possible way to fulfil your wishes. Each community foundation has its own policies and guidelines. Community

GROWTH-SPURT FRIENDLY CLOTHING FOR BABIES & KIDS

www.sugarsandwich.com Vol. IV, Ed. IV 11

GRANDparenting

Savour, Don’t Save A

Jacqui Graham has six grown kids and eight delightful grandkids. If she had known how much fun grandkids would be, she would have had them first!

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uthor Erma Bombeck wrote humorous and insightful essays about family life. One has particular meaning for me. In it, looking back on her life, she recalls with regret a pretty candle, never lit, that melted in storage, and a set of china carefully packed away. “If I could live my life over again,” she says, “I would have used those pretty dishes—and not only on special occasions but every day.” My mother was a proponent of the “save rather than savour” approach to life. When she passed away she left behind a sideboard full of gold-rimmed china dishes that had never been used, silver cutlery that never graced a table, and delicate lace tablecloths that never replaced the worn, torn, Scotch-taped dime-store plastic table cover. From closets and cupboards and shelves my dad and I unearthed boxes of gifts bought but never sent; piles of books unread; bins of fabric and unopened patterns she meant to sew for the grandkids; cookbooks with pristine pages.

We found a shoebox containing several dozen “happy birthday” cards she purchased over the years to send to her 11 grandchildren. Sadly, they never made it to the mailbox. Nor did she ever “get around” to phoning the kids. One day a young son asked me “Why does Grandma hate us?” Shocked, I said “Grandma doesn’t hate you, sweetheart, she loves you very much.” “Then why doesn’t she ever call or visit us?” he replied. My heart ached as I explained that Grandma lived far away, was very busy, and was sure to call soon. How could I explain to him that Grandma was just bogged down in a morass of inertia? My mother’s life was an endless bucket list of things she didn’t get around to: vacations to exotic locales planned but never realized; art classes embarked upon but abandoned; family genealogy questioned but never researched; and - saddest of all - a cobweb-draped motorcycle in the garage. Her past was littered with plans aborted, opportunities missed, dreams

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unfulfilled. “I was gonna....” was her constant mantra. My dad joked that her epitaph should read “She was gonna.” From an early age I was determined that my path would be different. I would seize the day! At age 19 I ran away with the love of my life. Our wedding registry list included an axe and a Coleman stove. (Some people ignored the list and gave us frivolous items such as china, crystal glasses and silver cutlery. We thanked them anyway.) Our honeymoon took place in a tent on Long Beach, Vancouver Island. Over the years we had many adventures: visiting New York City in the company of a 19-month-old baby and an elderly, diminutive East Indian holy man in orange robes (don’t ask); selling our first home to finance the purchase of a small town newspaper; raising six kids in that small town; taking our brood abroad to New Zealand, Scotland and Europe; and, upon retirement, leaving that small town after what my husband called “40 years in the wilderness” to start over in the Comox Valley. It was while packing for this move that I realized just how much stuff I had accumulated in those 40 years! Shelves of books unread; bins of fabric and patterns never sewn; cookbooks with pristine pages. An idle sewing machine. A piano coated with dust. Notebooks crammed with songs written but unsung. And, yes—birthday cards in a shoebox! And I realized just how often I am guilty of saying “I was gonna...” Well, no more. As I reluctantly enter a new chapter of life called “widowhood,” I have the opportunity to turn “I was gonna” into “Look, Ma! No regrets!” Shake off the cobwebs! Burn the pretty candle! Break out the crystal, the silver, the lace! Love those grandkids! Send those cards! Dust off that piano! Record those songs! Plan that trip to Tahiti! Life is to be savoured, not saved. I want my epitaph to read “Beloved wife, mother, grandmother. She shared her strengths, her talents, her love. She savoured life. She truly did it all.” grandmag.ca

Flush only the 3Ps: pee, poo and toilet paper.

flexibility for different learning styles optional hands-on learning activities support from a certified teacher gentle and constructive feedback

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 13

Road Trip

Grandparent (& Grandkid) Getaways Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean you can’t hit the road and take a trip to one of the many family-friendly Island destinations. So pack up your day bag—or plan for an overnighter—and check out the following places to go.

See Sidney by the Sea

1. Shaw Centre for the Salish Sea. This world-class aquarium and learning centre is the largest aquarium on Vancouver Island—and the only aquarium in Greater Victoria. Print the online scavenger hunt and activity sheets and then bring them with you when you visit the Centre. salishseacentre.org 2. Sidney Museum. Check out the Lego Expo, on until May 2021. Dozens of Star Wars-themed Lego models provide a special focus for this exhibit, rounded out by hundreds of other Lego models including Hogwarts Castle and Lego model of the Bugatti Chiron automobile. sidneymuseum.ca 3. Glass Beach. At the foot of Beacon Avenue, turn right and walk past the first set of stairs to the second and there you have it, Glass Beach! Bring a bucket and plan on spending an hour or so digging through the sand to find all sorts of glass and pottery pieces.

2. The Raptors. Get closer than you ever imagined to these exciting, intelligent birds of prey and learn about their world and how we all benefit when they survive and thrive. Experience a hands-on experience, and witness these amazing birds of prey as they demonstrate their flying skills and fascinating personalities. pnwraptors.com 3. Malahat Skywalk. The views from the lookout—250m above sea level—are spectacular. See Mt. Baker, Finlayson Arm, the Saanich Peninsula, and islands in two countries. Explore the West Coast from a whole new perspective and then choose your descent with a return walk down the ramp or take the fast route on our Spiral Slide. malahatskywalk.com

Count on Cowichan

1. Murals of Chemainus. Follow the yellow footsteps to discover more than

Don’t Forget About Duncan (and what’s close by)

1. Hand of Man Museum of Natural History, Cultural Arts and Conservation. Experience culture and beliefs of ancient civilizations that have survived millenia. Learn about global efforts towards conservation through education and awareness. handofmanmuseum.com 14 GRAND

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Mt. Washington with a complimentary tour. 9:30am and 1pm. mountwashington.ca

Play Around in Port Alberni

54 murals and nine sculptures depicting Chemainus’ colourful past. There are 44 murals in Historical Series, five in the Emily Carr-inspired Series and six art pieces in the Community Mural Series. Play the piano in the new mural In Tune With Nature and take a stroll through the Chemainus Labyrinth. art-bc.com 2. Cowichan Bay. How can you go wrong with an old-fashioned ice cream and retro candy shop? You can’t! Stop by the Udder Guy’s Ice Cream shop and reminisce about all of the nostalgic sweets you enjoyed when you were your grandkid’s age then stroll the seaside walk to see what you can see. originaludderguys.com 3. BC Forest Discovery Centre. 100 acres of discovery, education and fun. Ride the rails and check out the exhibits. Forest Forever is the newest exhibit and tells the story of modern forestry innovation in B.C. Ride one of the historic trains over the Somenos Lake Trestle and enjoy views of the 100-acre museum from the train. bcforestdiscoverycentre.com

the Centre’s exhibit and then winding its way to the banks of the Puntledge River. courtenaymuseum.ca 2. Elk Falls Suspension Bridge. A thundering waterfall and some of the finest year-round salmon fishing in Canada are just two of the reasons Elk Falls is one of the most popular provincial parks on Vancouver Island. Explore the extensive networks of forest trails and the nearby Quinsam Salmon. campbellriver.travel/ attractions/elkfalls 3. Mt. Washington. First time at Mt. Washington? Take a Snow Tour and leave your cares and the trail maps behind. Snow Hosts will show you the best ski and snowboarding spots on

1. The Donut Shop. Hungry? Try one of “The best donuts on Vancouver Island.” Located on Harbour Quay in Port Alberni, the Donut Shop offers a tempting array of designer donuts. And as grandparents, isn’t it our duty to spoil our grandkids every once in a while?! facebook.com/PAdonutshop 2. McLean Mill Historic Park. McLean Mill is the perfect placed for a stroll any time of year. Whether it’s to take in the history or to go for scenic walk with your grandkids or fury baby, you won’t be disappointed. The surroundings are breathtaking. Grab the family, bring a picnic and make it a day at the Mill. The site is open for self-guided tours at all times, maps are available at the Mill Store. mcleanmill.ca 3. Coombs Country Market. The Old Country Market started as a roadside fruit stand providing fresh produce to travellers heading to the west coast of Vancouver Island. Over the years it has evolved into a landmark of Coombs, with a mixture of shops and eateries for locals and visitors alike. Oh yeah, and there are goats… on the roof! oldcountrymarket.com

Come as You Are to Comox-Campbell River

1. Courtenay and District Museum & Palaeontology Centre. Dig for dinosaur fossils and check out a cast of B.C.’s first recorded Elasmosaur. If you have time, sign up for a fossil tour— Tuesdays to Saturday at 9am—beginning at grandmag.ca

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 15

Mind

10 Mental Health Tips

tart the New Year in the right state of mind. Here from Dr. Tyler R. Black, Medical Director of Emergency Psychiatry at BC Children’s Hospital are the top 10 health tips to help grandparents help their grandchildren navigate the “new normal.”

Connectedness matters more than the medium

While traditions, travel, and gatherings have changed, connections are connections. Communication like video calls, online games together, phone calls, cards and letters, are great ways to keep the connectedness of families going strong. For kids, online connection IS real life connection. Take advantage of this!

Listen without judgment

A struggling child doesn’t need to be told what to do. A struggling child needs to be understood, needs to understand that they are cared for, and it is always better when they are part of the planning to help with the problem. Many grandparents dive into “oh are you sad? you should exercise!” and might not understand that a body problem or an insecurity makes that advice painful rather than helpful. Try this approach: “Thanks for sharing, is there anything you can think of that I could do to help with that?”

Remember “the antenna problem”

Kids are amazing antennas—they pick up on so many emotions, ideas, and challenges. However, they are horrible receivers. They will frequently misinterpret the meaning, overamplify the seriousness of a problem, or just completely get it wrong. When you are feeling something, your child is feeling you feel it! Don’t “hide” your emotions or pretend that it’s not real—you can be transparent, vulnerable and reassuring all at the same time.

This is a great learning moment for taking care of each other

Remind children that the reason things are hard right now is so that other people can be safer—people you and your child care about. Teachers. Parents. Grandparents. Aunts. Doctors. The awesome people at the supermarket. Children understand the importance of helping others. The marginalized, racialized and underprivileged bear the worst of this pandemic—what a great time to model and teach charitable work and efforts.

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School is important, but it’s not THAT important

If a day is particularly overwhelming, it’s ok to have a “sick day” to recover mentally. Consider this your doctor’s note. The pretense we put on that “perfect attendance” neglects the fact that we all, at some point, have taken a sick day to recover when we weren’t up to going in. Worldwide soul-crushing pandemics count too. Let’s focus on connection, play, kidstuff, mental health and the basics of education.

Traditions are new to them!

Yes, your family tradition may be disrupted, and you’ve had decades worth, but new traditions can be started! Kids have an incredible ability to adapt to “normal” and you can harness this if you don’t sound bummed or disrupted by it.

Keep an eye on irritability, sleep and appetite

Young kids are notorious for not recognizing the signs of extreme stress, but their body tells the score. A change in sleep, appetite and general irritability are signs of distress and should be taken seriously. At a calm moment, explore what’s happening.

Don’t discard technology

Yes, there is a stigma about kids and technology use. However, that stigma is not borne out by evidence. The best evidence tells us that technology use is a healthy part of a child’s life and does not cause serious harm or mental illness. While some kids can overuse, rarely is the technology itself the problem. During this time of limited connection, getting in the way of online friend groups, online play, social media sharing and entertainment may not be the protector you think it is. It’s great to make sure kids have access to more than just tech (exercise, crafts, chores, etc), but carving tech out of a 2021 kid’s life is putting them at a big disadvantage going forward.

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Take care of yourself

It’s so hard to read this if you’re in an overwhelmed position. It might mean asking someone for help. But taking care of yourself and your mental health is NOT optional. It may be time to take a quick inventory on your stressors, your help available and who your network is, and start working to make some changes. If you aren’t in a position to trim anything, I know this rings hollow, but friends and family are a great place to start. If you are in a position of privilege or space, use it to help others. As a physician, I will ironically say to myself “physician, heal thyself.” For you, grandparent, I shall say “grandparent, give caregiving to yourself.”

Pick your battles

If you are overwhelmed, if your grandchild is stressed and they want to stay up a few more minutes, finish a show or keep using the iPad, give yourself a break. We all know the “perfect” grandparent response and the, “I need to get through this moment” grandparent response. Sometimes the “perfect” response is not the best one to choose. You need to have the capacity and reserve to deal with the fallout of a trivial intervention. Take a quick moment and decide if you can pick the best response for you, and don’t worry about trying to be the “perfect parent.”

Dr. Tyler R. Black, MD, FRCPC, is a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Suicidologist who has been in clinical practice for over 12 years. For 10 years, he was the Medical Director of Emergency Psychiatry at BC Children’s Hospital. Twitter: @tylerblack32, tylerblack.com.

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 17

Mind

Choosing Books for Children & Teens

hen faced with the sea of possibilities in choosing children’s books, there are a few basics you should consider to help you evaluate the quality and suitability of a book. Here from the Canadian

readers alike will find these books appealing. Comic books are essentially longer versions of the short strips you tend to find in newspapers, and graphic novels are more complex, booklength comic books. The illustrations found in these books are intricate and encourage children and young adults to appreciate the melding of language and visual art. Comic books and graphic novels cover a variety of genres, including autobiography, biography, historical fiction, humour, fantasy, non-fiction and superhero.

Books for Reluctant Readers

Encourage the reluctant readers in your life to read wherever and whenever they can. In addition to a steady diet of good books, comics, newspapers, magazines and reviews of movies on the Internet are all great ways to get even the most reluctant reader interested in reading!

Historical Fiction

The Canadian Children’s Book Centre (CCBC) is a national, not-for-profit organization dedicated to encouraging, promoting and supporting the reading, writing, illustrating and publishing of Canadian books for young readers. Visit bookcentre.ca. 18 GRAND

Children’s Book Centre are some of the things to look for when considering storybooks and the genres that are appropriate for the young readers in your life.

Historical fiction lets children imagine what it was like to live in the past, in Canada or anywhere in the world. It gives them the opportunity to ask questions about history and dig for more information. It also provides children with a more personal understanding of different time periods and the world’s significant events. Whether a child wants to learn about World War I, the Middle Ages or the Great Depression, historical fiction can be the perfect time machine.

Comic Books & Graphic Novels

Information Books

Because comic books and graphic novels tell stories using words and pictures, both avid and reluctant

We often think of information books (also known as non-fiction books) as the perfect books for a school research grandmag.ca

project—and they are! But they also cover every topic from current events to sports to cooking! Good information books make factual information exciting and interesting. Vivid biographies or true tales of adventure can fire the imagination as powerfully as a good novel. Factual books can entertain and inspire, move readers to tears and laughter—and teach along the way.

Things-to-Do Books

Rainy days, quiet weekends and lazy afternoons don’t have to be boring— especially when there are things-to-do books for kids! A variety of craft and hobby books exist for children of all ages and can teach them how to make jewellery, draw cartoons, cook healthy snacks, and more! These books are fun to read and introduce children to new hobbies, activities and experiences. Some things-to-do books provide step-by-step instructions for exciting activities that can be done with items found around the house, while others require special materials that need to be purchased beforehand. There are even things-to-do books that already come with all the materials needed to carry out the projects.

Poetry

From extolling the virtues of pizza to discussing alligator pies to telling about giants with colds, poems can cover every topic under the sun. Earpleasing rhymes, strong rhythms and laugh-out-loud punchlines make for kidapproved poetry. A good poem is fun to chant aloud over and over and helps children gain reading and performance skills. Reading poetry every day to children can make them more excited about words and language. Also, encouraging children to write their own poetry can offer them an avenue for self-expression.

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Fantasy Novels

Imagine exploring a world filled with magic, wizards, talking animals and make-believe creatures on a Saturday afternoon without ever having to leave your house… For young readers who love fairy tales, fantasy, science fiction and horror novels are a natural extension. Well-written fantasy novels allow children to expand their imaginations by introducing them to fictional, dream-like worlds that have their own politics, economics, religions and customs. While these worlds often seem quite different from our own, they are usually just enchanted versions of the world we are used to.

Mystery and Detective Fiction

Calling all armchair spies, detectives and gumshoes! If your child likes a good mystery, there are several great Canadian mystery and whodunit books out there that are perfect for kids of all ages. Mystery and detective novels not only entertain readers, but they also help them practise their critical-thinking skills. They capture the reader’s attention with exciting suspenseful, clever and believable plotlines as well as likable, intelligent detective characters.

Read…

Make books and reading a part of your children’s lives right from the start. And set aside regular time to read to your children from infancy to adolescence.

Lead the Way…

Make regular visits to your local library and bookstore to help your children find the best books available.

And Set an Example…

When children see adults enjoying a good book, they get a very important message—you never outgrow books!

Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units

Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

Peninsula Saanich Saltspring Island Sooke Victoria West Shore

250-544-2400 250-519-5100 250-538-4880 250-519-3487 250-388-2200 250-519-3490

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Central Island Health Units

Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum Port Alberni Tofino

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-739-5845 250-947-8242 250-731-1315 250-725-4020

North Island Health Units

Campbell River Courtenay Kyuquot Health Ctr ‘Namgis Health Ctr Port Hardy

250-850-2110 250-331-8520 250-332-5289 250-974-5522 250-902-6071

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes. Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits

Vol. IV, Ed. IV 19

Cooking with Grandkids

An Apple a Day

here are a lot of fruits that can be grown locally. While berries and Okanagan stone fruit are abundant in the summer, by the time winter rolls around, apples are the only widely available BC grown fruit. Luckily, they are incredibly flavourful and versatile. They can be sweet with the taste of flowers or tart and tangy. Some apples are crisp and firm where others are soft and perfect for cooking. Here are three recipes that feature this most humble, everyday fruit.

Apple Almond Salad

Carrot Apple Soup

The Waldorf salad is the classic apple salad. However, apples are a delicious addition to all sorts of salad. This green salad combines the sweetness of apples, with the nutty crunch of almonds and creamy goat cheese. Simple and delicious, it is sure to be a favourite.

This carrot apple soup is based on a classic cream soup, however it uses cashews instead of cream. This not only makes it dairy-free and vegan, it also packs in a lot of protein, fibre and healthy fats. It also means that this soup is hearty enough for a one-dish meal. Perfect for busy weeknights!

Dressing 4 Tbsp olive oil 2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar 2 tsp Dijon mustard Pinch of salt and black pepper Salad 2 apples (a firm, tart variety, like Granny Smith) 1 cup of slivered almonds 6 cups of mixed salad greens (about 1 head of lettuce) 1⁄2 cup crumbled goat cheese or feta

Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria and Saturna Island. She is the author of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog: BerriesAndBarnacles.com. 20 GRAND

Mix the salad dressing ingredients in the bottom of a large bowl. Thinly slice the apples and chop into bitesized pieces. Add them to the salad dressing and toss to combine. Toast the slivered almonds in a dry pan until just starting to brown. Remove them immediately and set aside. Wash and dry the salad greens. Tear the greens into bite-sized pieces and add to the bowl. Toss with the salad dressing. Serve the salad, then top each serving with some toasted almonds and a bit of crumbled cheese.

1 medium-sized onion 8 carrots 2 apples (a sweet variety like a spartan) 1 celery rib 1 Tbsp vegetable oil 6 cups of low-sodium broth 3⁄4 cup of cashews 1⁄2 tsp of sage 1 bay leaf Salt and pepper, to taste Roughly chop the onions, carrots, apples and celery. They will be pureed at the end, so they don’t need to be finely diced. Heat the oil in a large soup pot. Add all the vegetables and the apples. Cook until the onion is soft, about 5 minutes. Add the broth, cashews, sage and bay leaf. Bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, cover and simmer for 20 minutes, until the carrots and cashews are soft. Turn off the heat and remove the bay leaf. Puree the soup, either with a stick blender or in a blender or food processor. The cashews should be soft enough that they will completely disappear. Taste and add salt and pepper as needed. The amount needed will depend on the saltiness of the broth.

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COMMUNITY OPTIONS

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supportssupports quality summer programming for families with children quality programming facing disabilities within your community.

for families with children facing DONATE disabilities within your community.

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Italian Apple Cake This Italian apple cake, called torta di mele, is beautiful and delicious. It’s also very easy to make! Serve with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream for a fancy dessert. Or enjoy it with a cup of coffee at brunch. 1⁄2

cup of melted butter cup of honey 1 cup of milk 3 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract Zest of 1 lemon 13⁄4 cups flour 1 tsp baking powder 3 apples (a sweet variety, like gala) 1⁄2

Preheat the oven to 350° F. Grease and flour an 8-inch round cake pan. Mix the melted butter and honey together in a large bowl. Stir in the milk, then beat in the eggs, vanilla and lemon zest. Add the flour and baking powder. Stir to combine. Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan. Next, prepare the apples. Peel and core the apples. Thinly slice them, then arrange the slices on the top of the cake. You will need to overlap the slices. Just press the bottom ones lightly into the cake batter to make a layer of apples. Bake for 40–50 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean and the apples are browning. Cool slightly before serving. If it is not sweet enough, then serve with a dusting of icing sugar.

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Have you ever wondered about the future and gifts promotes being kids summer! whatYou it might bring tokids families withthis family members with a disability? You can make a difference by https://cocf.ca/get-involved/donations/ designating Community Options for Children and Families as your charity of choice when considering leaving a gift through your will or any other gift planning instrument (gifts of stock). Community Options has supported tens of thousands of families in the community over the past 30+ supports quality summer programming for families withfor children years—supporting a better quality of life facing disabilities within your community. families on Southern Vancouver Island.

supports quality summer programming for families with children disabilities within your supports qualfacing ity summer programmi ng forcommunity. families with children

facing disabilities within your community.

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DONATE You gifts promotes kids being kids this summer! TODAY! DONATE

For more information, please contact TODAY! Kathleen Burton, Executive Director 250.380.6363 You gifts promotes kids beingext kids205 this summer!

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You gifts promotes kids being kids this summer!

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Vol. IV, Ed. IV 21

GRANDparenting

Lessons Learned from Homeschooling

“G

rampa? Whatcha doing?” It was my granddaughter, Randi, standing behind me as I read the latest instalment of Frazz on the GoComics website. “Um, I was just working,” I replied. “Doesn’t look like work,” she said with a look that mimicked the look my daughter gives me when I say something stupid. “Can we do some of that math that we did when you were teaching me? I really liked those questions, and we never get to do them at school. Math is sort of boring there right now.” The math that she was talking about had been a point of contention during the period that I was teaching Randi. For six months after the schools closed because of the pandemic, I was conscripted as a replacement Grade Five teacher and, surprisingly, while it was a role that I first dreaded, I came to love it. A little context, though. When I started my teaching duties, I did all the research to find out what Randi was supposed to be learning at her grade level find out how she was doing. To my dismay, I found that my granddaughter—who I had always considered reasonably bright—was hopelessly behind in maths, testing at about a Grade 3 level. It only made me feel a little better when I spoke to the parents of some of her classmates and discovered that Randi wasn’t alone in being behind. So that was our starting point and for the next six months we worked on a full range of subjects for about three

Tim Collins is a writer and freelance journalist living and working in Victoria. 22 GRAND

hours a day. Some days, Randi wanted to go longer. After a month, Randi had caught up to expectations in math. She’d come to realize that there is a certain poetry to mathematics and that most of our dayto-day challenges can be expressed and solved using numbers. Sensing her enthusiasm, I moved beyond the Grade 5 curriculum and started teaching her simple algebra and geometry. By the end of the third month, she was expressing word problems as algebraic equations and asking for speed tests so she could show off to her mom. “She doesn’t have to know that stuff yet,” my daughter growled. “You’re showing her math that she won’t be doing until Grade 8 or 9.” My response was to cite George W. Bush—something that, I assure you, I rarely do—when he railed against the “soft bigotry of low expectations.” The point is that Randi could understand so much more. And it wasn’t only math. We explored history, discussing topics that ranged from early humans and how Darwinian evolution explained the world. We talked about politics, past wars, science, history, and even modern political events.

“Why do people have different skin colours, anyway?” “Has there always been racism?” “What was the Roman Empire and why does anyone still care about it?” She was full of questions and, together, we embarked on a sprawling journey of discovery. It was fun and it was a rare day that she didn’t bounce into my office, anxious to pick up from where we’d left off the day before. But then the schools opened, and Randi was equally excited to go off to Grade 6, a new school and a bevy of friends that call themselves “the squad.” Those were experiences I couldn’t duplicate. I learned a lot from the half year of playing teacher. I learned that one can’t assume that your child is learning as they should. I learned that we don’t give our children enough credit. They need to be challenged. As for Randi and me, we still have our talks about what’s going on in the world and, sometimes, we still play with math. I’m working on getting her to read “Frazz” as well. You can learn a lot from the comics. grandmag.ca

McTavish Academy of Art

GRAND, Vol IV Ed IV, Winter 21-22

Articles inside

Who’s the Boss?

An Apple a Day

Choosing Books for Children & Teens

Savour, Don’t Save

Cultivating Wonder

Grandparent (& Grandkid Getaways

Lessons Learned from Homeschooling

10 Mental Health Tips

7 Grand: Ideas + Inspiration