May 2017 Island Parent Magazine by Island Parent Group

Island Parent Celebrating

29 Years

The Resource Publication for Vancouver Island Parents

May 2017

Books for the Maternally Inclined

New & Expectant Parents

Products â&#x20AC;&#x2030;& Services

Yo! Mama

tips, Advice & Ramblings

Shop online at momease.ca!

Experience the precision of customized vision

Pregnant Women & New Mums Every mom-to-be experiences hormone fluctuations, but what most don’t know, is that these changes can cause them to develop conditions such as blurred vision, dry eye and severe changes to vision, which may be the first sign of a more serious condition such as Gestational Diabetes. Visual symptoms to watch for include severe fluctuating or blurring of vision, occasional double vision, loss of visual field, and flashes and floaters within the eyes.

After Delivery:

Dr. Joslin, Dr. Morin & Associates Doctors of Optometry

STROLLERS • HIGH CHAIRS • CAR SEATS • SLEEP AIDS CARRIERS • SWINGS • CLOTHING • SHOES • TOYS • BOOKS PLAYARDS • SKINCARE • DIAPER BAGS • FURNITURE

1581 Hillside Ave, Victoria

778•265•5651

Across the street from Hillside Centre Call to schedule your personalized baby registry consultation

Curiosity • Diversity Exploration • Nature Play-Oriented Learning

Langford: #105–814 Goldstream Ave 250-474-4567 www.langfordoptometrists.com Sooke: #5–6726 West Coast Rd 250-642-4311 www.sookeoptometrists.com

New Patients Welcome

Doctors of Optometry recommend that women wait between six and nine months after delivery before making changes to their prescription to ensure their eyes have fully adjusted. Schedule an eye exam for your baby for a time when he/she is well rested, so that they are relaxed and happy. Fill out any required paperwork at home if possible and bring it with you on the day of your appointment. You may also want to bring along a familiar toy to calm your baby if they start getting fussy.

St. Joseph’s Elementary School

Register Now for September 2017 St. Joseph’s Elementary School has limited space in all grades (K–7), as well as space in our licensed Group Day Care and Preschool Program. Applications are available on-line or from the school office. St. Joseph’s offers a rigorous academic program in a Catholic Christian atmosphere.

3905 Haro Road, Victoria BC

250-477-3731 arbutusgrove.ca

757 West Burnside Road 250 479 1232 www.stjosephschool.ca

Come Grow With Us!

Bring in

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u Summe Yo r

I belong here, celebrating summer.

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at r e Gen

Saanich has everything you need to stay active, fit and engaged this summer with 4 recreation centres offering hundreds of programs. Register TODAY for best selection of camps and program dates and times. ACTIVE LIVING GUIDE

Effective July to August 2017

Cedar Hill Recreation Centre G. R. Pearkes Recreation Centre Gordon Head Recreation Centre Saanich Commonwealth Place

250-475-7121 250-475-5400 250-475-7100 250-475-7600

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May 2017â&#x20AC;&#x192; 3

24 It’s BioBlitz Time

Features 14 Rachel Dunstan Muller:

The Pianists 16 Colleen Davis: Double Whammy 18 Jenny Hyslop: Well…This is Awkward 20 Products & Services for New Parents 23 Yo! Mama 24 Athena George: It’s BioBlitz Time 27 Books for the Maternally Inclined 34 Tim Collins: Just Be Nice In Every Issue Island Parent Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Party Directory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24, 25 Family Calendar. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Around the Island. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Family Services Directory. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46, 47 Preschool & Child Care Directory . . . . . . . . . . . 48, 49 Business & Professional Directory. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

Sue Fast

Editor editor@islandparent.ca

10.

Island Parent Magazine 830–A Pembroke Street Victoria, BC V8T 1H9 250-388-6905 islandparent.ca

Linda Frear

Columns 5 Sue Fast: Editor’s Note 12 Erin Skillen:

Post-Married Mommy 36 Emillie Parrish: Cooking With Kids 38 Valérie Poirier: Healthy Families, Happy Families 40 Ashley Degraaf: Is There an App for This? 42 Greg Pratt: Dadspeak 44 Diana Hurschler: New Parent Pages 50 Laura Trunkey: Maternity & Beyond 52 Katie Turner: Nature Notes 54 Allison Rees: Cut It Out!

RaeLeigh Buchanan

Mark Warner

Office Manager & Sales sales@islandparent.ca

Advertising Consultant raeleigh@islandparent.ca

Publisher/Owner publisher@islandparent.ca

Design & Layout Eacrett Graphic Design

Printed by Black Press

ISSN 0838-5505

Next Issue:

June

Advertising Booking Deadline: May 17

Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a monthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher. Annual mail subscriptions (12 issues) are available for $35 (GST included). Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398.

On the Cover

Willow C-R. (5 months). Photo by PR Photo Creations, prphotocreations.com

4 Island Parent Magazine

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0–12 Years Old in 2:45 Minutes

s if there wasn’t already enough pressure to photograph your new baby’s every move and major milestone— awake and asleep— now there’s the added pressure of having to continue doing so well into your offspring’s young adulthood. That’s what Dutch filmmaker Frans Hofmeester did every week in his four-minute timelapse video of his daughter, Lotte, growing up—from when she was a newborn in 1999 to when she turned 12 years old. His 2012 video has 8.2 million views to date; it’s been shown on CNN and Jay Leno and continues to draw global attention. Hofmeester, who also filmed his son,Vince, growing up explained in an op-ed in The Guardian that he made these time-lapse videos because he was desperate to keep his memories intact. That, and the filming provided a way for him to bond with his kids. “Sometimes the children wouldn’t want to be filmed,” admits Hofmeester. “Each week it

gave me the opportunity to talk to my kids, to get to know their likes and dislikes. I’d say: ‘Tell me what you did last week, what you did at school. Tell me about the nicest thing that happened, or the saddest thing.’” The online video is a short cut of a longer film, not public, that runs 30 minutes and includes footage of Lotte talking. “It’s much more personal,” he adds. Hofmeester isn’t alone when it comes to creating childhood play-by-plays. British dad, Ian McLeod, took a photo of his son, Cory, almost every day from when he was born until he turned 21. McLeod then spent three months scanning more than 7,500 pictures to create his six-minute time-lapse video. His son took up where his dad left off, vowing to continue documenting the rest of his life. If you’ve convinced yourself by now that, oh, okay, you could manage to film your child—or three—once a week for the next 21 years, MIT cognitive scientist Deb Roy just raised the bar.

According to an article in Fast Company, Roy “blew the curve for flip-cam packing proud pops” by capturing his son’s every movement and word—90,000 hours worth of footage—with a series of fisheye-lens cameras installed in every room.

Sue Fast Editor’s Note Sure it was all done in the name of science—Roy says the purpose of the footage is to help understand how we learn language—but 90,000 hours? And here I thought 3,000 iPhone photos were a lot. With the bar set so high these days, I’m just glad that two out of four of my kids are redheads. That’s left me a little flexibility over the years to pass off one child’s photos for the other’s if they complain they’re underrepresented in the family photo album. Here’s to happy memories together—documented or not. And to a Happy Mother’s Day.

ENTER IN STORE FOR A CHANCE TO WIN an Organic Baby Sleep System from Resthouse plus a Mom and Baby Care Kit from the Matraea Centre

Now carrying Naturpedic crib mattresses and bedding

Contest details at resthouse.ca matraea.com Draw May 11th

126 STATION STREET, DUNCAN 1-844-855-REST (7378) NOW OPEN SUNDAYS, 11–4 PM

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A Natural Sleep Starts at the Very Beginning May 2017 5

Island Parent Notes

fer two options for How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will talk, a 6-week program running Wednesday mornSupporting One-parent Families ings, 9:30-11:30am or Thursday evenings, 1Up Single Parent Resource Centre will 6:30-8:30pm. For a full list of workshops offer Lighthouse Parent (for parents of and their descriptions, visit 1-up.ca. For children 0-5yrs) on Wednesday evenings, more information, phone 250-385-1114. 6:30-8:30pm, from May 3-24. Lighthouse Parent is a four-week parenting program to Hike for Hospice 2017 help parents understand how to hold and Mark your calendar and start fundraising be the light for their family. Whether we with your family, friends, or group for the realize it or not, we have learned how to Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Hike for parent from our parents and grandparents Hospice on Sunday, May 7. This nationor extended family. And since the techniques wide event is designed to bring together of yesterday are not necessarily the most individuals and organizations to raise funds enlightened for today’s child, we can find and awareness for hospice and palliative ourselves dealing with unanticipated and care. The hike will take place in several unnecessary conflict with our children. communities across Vancouver Island and Lighthouse Parent (for moms and dads of is open to everyone. 6-12 year olds) runs Wednesday evenings, Victoria residents meet at Fisherman’s 6:30-8:30pm, May 31-June 21. If you’re Wharf Park for the 6th Annual Hike for looking for a longer session, the eight-week Hospice. Gather a team of friends and Extended Lighthouse Parent runs Tuesday family, challenge your co-workers or join evenings, 6:30-8:30pm, from May 9-June as an individual to help support end-of-life 27. Moms With Moms, a new eight-week care in your community. program, runs Monday mornings, 10amCheck-in and entertainment starts at noon from May 1-June 26. Dads With Dads 9am and the walk begins at 10am. A runs Tuesday evenings, 6:30-8:30pm, April scenic 3.5km loop—accessible for all ages 25-June 13. Starting mid-May, 1Up will of- and abilities—will take participants from

the Inner Harbour to the ocean and back again, raising critical funds and awareness for Victoria Hospice along the way. Visit victoriahospice.org. Nanaimo and area residents meet at Maffeo Sutton Park for A Walk to Remember and Picnic in the Park on May 7. Registration will begin at 10am and the hike starts at 11am. Afterwards, participants are invited to the Picnic in the Park from noon-2pm. Gather pledges, gather a team. Wear your company logo. Leashed pets are welcome. To register, phone Nanaimo Hospice Community Society at 250-591-8811. For links to online fundraising or to print a pledge sheet, visit nanaimohospice.com.

35th Annual Mother’s Day Musical Garden Tour

Strolling through beautiful gardens, carried along by wonderful music—is there truly any better way to spend the day with a woman you love? This Mother’s Day weekend, May 13 and 14, you are invited to visit gorgeous gardens and enjoy spring with the Victoria Conservatory of Music (VCM) at the 35th Annual Mother’s Day Garden Tour from 10am-4pm. Your two-day pass grants exclusive passage to 10 hand-picked,

Advertising Feature

Island Montessori

ight years ago, after over 35 years in public schools in Victoria, Island Montessori moved to our current location in beautiful rural West Saanich. We are surrounded by a magical forest with a lovely walk up to a wooden yurt perched on moss-covered ground. From our classroom windows we can see swans gliding in the wetlands across the road. Deer wander the large lawn in front of the school, rabbits and frogs hop about, and an owl hoots in the early morning hours. We have a large fenced play area and plenty of opportunities for nature walks. We have a small garden where we plant seasonal vegetables and flowers and enjoy watching the apple trees blossom and bear fruit. It is a special place connecting children to nature and their surrounding community. Island Montessori is a non-profit daycare and preschool that has been serving Victoria children and their families for over 40 years. We offer an enriched, inclusive preschool program based on Montessori principles

6 Island Parent Magazine

and practices that meet the needs of the individual child, no matter their developmental level. Our flexible full-time (2, 3 and 5 days/week) preschool programs, a morning-only preschool program, as well as Before- and After-school Care are designed to offer convenience to all families. Our staff provide a warm, nurturing and supportive atmosphere in the classroom and each child is seen as an individual with

their own unique learning style and needs. Our inclusive programs ensure that every child is included and given the support they need and deserve. Our Pre-k program includes additional guided learning for reading, printing, as well as number recognition and competency. Special activities both at school and in the community support learning outcomes and build school spirit providing for a family-type environment where everyone knows everyone. We look forward to welcoming you to our school family!

Preschool Spaces Available

• before and after

Open House

• small class sizes

May 13 from 10am–1pm

school care

• supportive and

caring staff

• excellent academic

foundation

• Kodaly music

A local non-profit for all children (Since 1973) 5575 West Saanich Rd info@islandmontessori.com 250 592 4411 www.islandmontessori.com

program

• lovely rural location

connecting children to nature

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enchanting oases to revel in the inspiration and joy of gardening while enjoying music from VCM students, faculty and guest musicians. And don’t miss the plant sale. The gardens range from exotic to native, established and new, country acreage to city spaces. Many visitors come armed with cameras to take away ideas for their own gardens. All come to enjoy the beauty and hear the music presented by the students and faculty of the VCM. The Victoria Mother’s Day Garden Tour has been an important fund raising event for the Victoria Conservatory of Music since 1982. Participants are invited to have their gardening questions answered by an on-site Master Gardener, and purchase their season’s plants at the ever-popular plant sale and bid on outstanding planters in this year’s silent auction. Tickets may be purchased online at vcm.bc.ca/victoria-garden-tour or in person at the VCM front desk, 900 Johnson St in Victoria. All proceeds support the Victoria Conservatory of Music.

Mother’s Day Paint-In & Craft Fair at Royal Roads

Celebrate Mother’s Day at the 22nd annual Mother’s Day Paint-In and Craft Fair on Sunday May 14 from 10am-4pm at Royal Roads University, located in Hatley Park National Historic Site, and experience a community outdoor festival where more than 3,000 visitors are expected. Wander among the spring blossoms of Hatley Park’s gardens, enjoy free tours of Hatley Castle, take in the wide variety of live musical entertainment throughout the day on the main stage and challenge your children’s creativity with fun activities and crafts provided by West Shore Parks and Recreation and local entertainers. Other highlights will include a variety of family entertainment, main-stage performances, children’s entertainment and the opportunity to join a 30-minute guided tour

Selkirk Waterfront Festival

of Hatley Castle. The museum and gift shop will also be open in the lower level of Hatley Castle. Admission and parking are free. For more information, visit royalroads.ca/ event/mothers-day-paint-and-craft-fair-1.

Victoria Children’s Choir Auditions

The Victoria Children’s Choir (VCC) invites kids aged 10-16 to audition for the 2017-2018 season. Children ages 7-9 are invited to register for the Prelude Choir—a non-auditioned ensemble that introduces choral music in a fun and interactive setting. VCC’s programs offer: • opportunities to perform in exclusive events and concerts, and with respected artists • a new singing challenge, and the training to conquer that challenge • a way to develop natural talents • greater self-confidence • social experiences that teach teamwork, respect and motivation The Concert Choir and Recital Choir will learn a variety of masterpieces and modern arrangements that teach vocal technique at an international-performance level. As the choristers’ abilities grow, so will their knowledge and affection for all music—an appreciation easily shared among families as a whole. Kids and teens who audition should be keen to contribute to the choir, have a good musical ear, pleasant voice in terms of resonance and breath support, and an ability to read. With numerous rehearsals, performances, camps, and tours, choristers need to be in good physical health to fully participate in choir activities. To reserve an audition on May 27 and June 10, visit victoriachildrenschoir.ca/ get-involved/singwithvictoriachildrenschoir-auditions or email vcc@victoriachildrenschoir.ca. Find out more about the audition process and the VCC programs at victoriachildrenschoir.ca.

The Selkirk Waterfront Festival is an annual event hosted by the Burnside Gorge Community Association and will be held on Saturday May 27, from 10am-3pm. Don’t miss this free, fun-filled, multi-cultural family event that offers something for everyone. Highlights include carnival-style rides, fun inflatables, facepainting, and balloon twisting in the Family Fun Zone. There’s the international food court where you can explore taste sensations from around the world (Mexican, Hungarian, Polish, Greek, East Indian and carnival treats), and the Artisan Craft Market with fine artwork and handicrafts for sale. Groove to the sounds of local performers. There are lots of opportunities to get involved with this great festival: as a vendor, volunteer or sponsor. For more information contact Burnside Gorge Community Centre at 250-388-5251, or email info@ burnsidegorge.ca. IslandParent.ca

Yoga, Support and Fun! May 2017 Schedule

975 Fort Street,Victoria | 250-595-4905

Classes, activities and support groups for Parents, Babies and Toddlers. All classes are drop-in. wn and try them out! Come on down

Sunday

Prenatal Yoga 10:30am Postnatal Yoga 12 noon

Monday

Songs & Rhymes for or Babies & Tod T Toddlers10:15am dlers10:15am Mommy & Baby Yoga 1pm Baby Massage 2:30pm Yoga for Labour & Birth 5:15pm

Tuesday

Fun in French 10:15am New Baby Group (0-4mos) 11:15am Mom & Baby Strength & Stretch 1:00pm Prenatal Strength & Stretch 5:15pm

Wednesday

Motherhood Circle 10:30am (by registration) Older Baby Group (4-9mo) 1:00pm Prenatal Yoga 5:15pm

Thursday

Toddler Yoga 10:15am Mom & Baby Yoga 11:30am Mobile Baby Group (9-18mos)1:00pm Prenatal Yoga 5:15pm

Friday

Prenatal Yoga 10:15am Sing and Sign with Baby 12 noon Pregnancy Happy Hour 5:00pm

Find more information on all of our classes and groups, on our website at www.motheringtouch.ca.

MotherFest est

A Pampering Party for or Moms Celebrate Mothers’ Dayy with massage, reﬂexology, es, acupuncture, mini manicures, eyebrow threading, usic & prizes! snacks, live music Each mini-treatment only $5! Friday, May 12 - 2-7pm The place for new and expectant parents | www.motheringtouch.ca

May 2017 7

Touch A Truck

REGISTER TODAY! Save 10% with Early Bird Registration until May 1st! Leadership Programs Summer Sleepover Camps Summer Day Camps CampPringle.com • 250-743-2189 • registrar@camppringle.com 8 Island Parent Magazine

This spring, Victoria’s Team 4 Hope is hosting the 6th Annual Touch a Truck for Pediatric Cancer Research on May 28 from 11am-3pm at Panorama Recreation Centre, 1885 Forest Park Drive, North Saanich. Children and their families are invited to get behind the wheel and explore vehicles of all kinds, including firetrucks, police cars, excavators, cement trucks and more. New this year: Victoria Police ERT armored vehicle and the Games2U Hamster Ball Track. This fun-filled afternoon also includes a host of family activities and a BBQ. In the past 5 years, Team 4 Hope’s Touch a Truck has raised over $50,000 for critical neuroblastoma research. The Team 4 Hope is a local running and fundraising team dedicated to raising awareness of childhood cancer, namely Neuroblastoma. Neuroblastoma is an aggressive and deadly nervous system tumor that is usually diagnosed in children age six and younger. It affects approximately 70 children in Canada per year. The chance for survival is grim, as Neuroblastoma often comes back after treatment. After relapse, there is no standard treatment protocol and no cure. As of 2017, there were 11 children in the Victoria area who had been affected by Neuroblastoma. Six of these children are currently in remission and five have passed away. We lost two of our local children to Neuroblastoma in 2015 alone. Since Team 4 Hope’s founding six years ago, the team raised over $370,000 for Neuroblastoma research, with an average of over 83 per cent of funds going directly to support new projects at research facilities in B.C., including the BC Cancer Agency and the Child and Family Research Institute at the world-renowned BC Children’s Hospital in Vancouver. Join the Team 4 Hope at Touch a Truck 2017 for Pediatric Cancer Research to help give hope to children battling Neuroblastoma. Tickets, on sale now, are $15 per family (in advance), $20 per family (at the door) or $10 for individual tickets (at the door). For tickets, visit team4hope.com or visit Kidding Around Children’s Store (cash only at this location) at #3a-9769 5th St in Sidney.

World Partnership Walk

Celebrate the 33rd annual World Partnership Walk on Sunday, May 28 at the University of Victoria (UVic). This is Canada’s largest event in support of international development. IslandParent.ca

The Walk starts at UVic’s Petch Fountain (by McPherson Library), and meanders along the beautiful Alumni Chip Trail, through Finnerty Gardens and along the ridge above Mystic Vale. There will be food, a kid’s play area and a Global Village to learn about how we as Canadians are contributing to programs in Africa and Asia. Every dollar raised helps bring hope to people and communities who need it the most. Donations made to the World Partnership Walk support Aga Khan Foundation Canada’s programs in Africa and Asia—initiatives that enable women and men to lift themselves and their children out of poverty, creating strong, vibrant communities able to lead their own development. The World Partnership Walk is a green initiative, so bring your water bottle, and help make this walk environmentally friendly. Same-day registration begins at 10am or register online at worldpartnershipwalk. com. Opening ceremonies start at 11am.

Bike to Work Week

The Greater Victoria Bike to Work Week (BTWW) has been spinning its wheels for more than two decades and is proud to announce this year’s event, running May 29–June 4. The wheels are in motion planning events throughout the week to celebrate one of the capital region’s most supported and recognized free community events attracting over 7,000 commuter cyclists each year, including about 12,000 new cyclists since inception. Register for your chance to win one of many great prizes. Unique to Greater Victoria Bike to Work Week are the cycling skills courses for adults, youth and children, sponsored by the Capital Region District’s Ride On! program. These courses are fun, informative, build confidence and introduce participants to the cycling community. For information on BTWW registration, bike safety, and for other BTWW resources, visit biketowork.ca/victoria.

It’s All Relative at Royal BC Museum

Can you choose your family? Or is it determined by blood? This is the central question of the Royal BC Museum’s newest feature exhibition, Family: Bonds and Belonging, open June 2-October 31. Visitors are challenged to dismantle traditional ideas of what family is, to kick down the “white picket fence” surrounding the

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conventional concept of family and build a broader definition. Looking at historic and contemporary First Nations, settler and recent immigrant families together, visitors can draw connections between different manifestations of family. They will discover the universal themes that unite families across these differences. The story of family is told through seemingly innocuous objects: everyday items that are the witnesses to our lives. Some are familiar and some aren’t, depending on what life experiences visitors bring to the exhibition. The exhibition explores the positive and negative aspects of family; the joy and the pain that these bonds can elicit. On this journey, delve into your own idea of family, learn about others and discover tools to begin your own genealogical research. Visitors can engage with the exhibition on social media with #RBCMFamily to share their own family photos and impressions of the exhibition. A companion book The Language of Family: Stories of Bonds and Belonging, will be available June 1. Twenty contributors from across British Columbia share their vastly differing perspectives on what family means in this collection of personal narratives, poems and essays. The Royal BC Museum is hosting a complimentary exhibition about a great Canadian hero, Terry Fox. Terry Fox’s family set an inspiring example of the incredible strength of family bonds. Learn more about the young man who inspired the nation with his Marathon of Hope. The exhibition is on display from now until October 1. For more information and a full calendar of exhibition-related special events, including summer kids camps, visit royalbcmuseum.bc.ca.

Ban the Single-Use Plastic Bottle

Butchart Gardens has stopped selling all single-use plastic water bottles as an extension of their existing environmental practices. Instead, The Gardens is encouraging visitors to bring their own water bottles to fill at one of four double-filtered water stations located around The Gardens. Each water station boasts a drinking fountain, bottle filler and a doggy water dish. The initiative is meant to drive awareness of the threat plastic poses to the environment, in particular single-use plastic water bottles.

Pregnant? Pregnancy is a state of health. Midwives recognize what an extraordinary time this is in your life and we are available to support you through your childbearing year. Covered by Your BC Health Care BC’s Medical Services Plan pays for midwifery care, including in-home check-ups in labour and after you’ve had your baby. You can self-refer to a midwife.

Quality Care Studies show that midwifery clients have lower rates of episiotomies, infection, Caesarean sections, forceps and vacuum deliveries and newborns that require resuscitation.

Choice of Hospital or Home Birth Continuity of Care Comprehensive Care Breastfeeding Education & Support We would be pleased to schedule an appointment to answer your questions about midwifery care.

midwivesinvictoria.ca May 2017 9

According to Ottawa’s Polaris Institute, bottled water is 240-10,000 times more expensive than tap water and the amount of oil used for the production of bottled water in 2010 was the equivalent to putting 1 million cars on the road. Forgot your water bottle? The Butchart Gardens will have reusable ‘keepsake’ water bottles for sale for $3.95, the cost of purchasing a single-use serving. For more information, visit butchartgardens.com.

Magic Wand for Grad Wear

Magic Wand for grads will make dreams come true by allowing students to borrow (for a minimal fee) rather than buy a dress or tux—including all accessories. No stu-

Dyslexia is thought to be genetic and hereditary and represents from 80-90 per cent of all learning disabilities. Victoria speech-language pathologist, Marlene Lewis, recently recognized with a Community Champion Award from Scientific Learning, helps readers using Fast ForWord and Reading Assistant, and has resources and information available at end-dyslexia.org. Lewis is a member and past president of the BC Association of Dealing with Dyslexia What is dyslexia? According to dyslex- Speech-Language Pathologists and Audiiaassociation.ca, dyslexia is a difficulty with ologists. In 2015 she received an award for the alphabet, reading, writing and spelling her co-authored paper: First Nations Elders’ in spite of normal or above-normal intel- and Parents’ Views on Supporting Their ligence, conventional teaching methods, Children’s Language Development. For and adequate sociocultural opportunity. more information, phone 250-474-6368.•

dent should miss their grad when there is the Magic Wand! All outfits are current styles and new or like-new. Complete outfits include: new and like-new dresses, suits, tuxedos, shoes, and accessories. If you’ve already graduated, recycle your outfit by donating it. To find out more, visit themagicwandproject.ca and email esurerus@telus.net for an appointment.

Free Admission to Fort Rodd Hill & Fisgard Lighthouse

March or run; spy or signal your position; climb or go underground at Fort Rodd Hill, a 100-year-old coast artillery fort. Tour through secret bunkers, military command posts and original 19th century buildings, on active duty from 1895 to 1956. Read the personal stories of soldiers and their families. Grab the wheel as a “master mariner” at Fisgard Lighthouse, the oldest on the Canadian west coast, and wander through a rare Garry Oak meadow. Participate in special events planned for the summer and stay overnight in one of the oTENTik tents. Located only 15 minutes west of downtown Victoria. Phone 250-478-5849 or visit pc.gc.ca/fortroddhill. Free admission in 2017.

10 Island Parent Magazine

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GIVE-A-$HEET You Can “Bridge People to Nature”

DID YOU KNOW... Your donation to Phase II of the

“Bridges to Nature” Floating Boardwalk Campaign Will ~ no matter the size ~

* Each $heet of ﬁberglass decking will cost aprox $500 * Each $ection of the Phase II ﬂoating Boardwalk Project will cost aprox $5,000 $800,000 is required to span the lake

Make a Difference

Call 250.479.0211 or visit swanlake.bc.ca to donate

“Give-a-$HEET” and help Bridge People to Nature Today! IslandParent.ca

May 2017 11

Community Board Making our Community a Better Place to Live

1Up Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre 1-up.ca Art Gallery of Greater Victoria aggv.ca Child Care Resource & Referral childcarevictoria.ca Kaleidoscope Theatre kaleidoscope.bc.ca Royal BC Museum royalbcmuseum.bc.ca TriStars Training tristarstraining.com Victoria Children’s Choir VictoriaChildrensChoir.ca Victoria Conservatory of Music vcm.bc.ca Enquire about non-profit brochure or magazine distribution in Greater Victoria:

publisher@islandparent.ca 12 Island Parent Magazine

Things Women & Men Say

ho better to give relationship advice than a single, divorcing woman, right! Right? Hear me out. Part of processing the end of my marriage has been speaking with others about their situations, whether they’re married, common-law, divorced or re-married. Every relationship has its own complex set of challenges that are unique to the people involved, but there seems to be a layer of common issues chewing away at the majority of long-term partnerships. Some of them applied to my marriage, some didn’t. But over and over I hear the same problems. The crazy part is—they seem kind of fixable.

Sex & Romance

Men tell me: She never wants to have sex. Women tell me: He’s not affectionate unless he wants sex. Porn has changed big time. What’s out there now definitely doesn’t resemble the Playboy mags we got our hands on while growing up. Most porn presents an unrealistic ideal for appearance and activities that tired moms can’t match, even if they wanted to try. BUT while men might like porn and partake during a dry spell at home, few of them actually expect it in real life. Most of them say they don’t want their partner to look or behave like a porn star—they just want her to want to have sex with them sometimes and have it. They don’t care if she’s carrying extra weight or wearing sweat pants—they just want to be wanted and not have to initiate all the time. When a guy tells me there isn’t enough sex in his relationship I ask what the last romantic thing he did for her was. The look they get on their faces in that moment is hilarious. It’s not rocket science. The average woman likes some affection and romance. And like the sex, the romance doesn’t have to be complicated either. Flowers are a bit cliché, but surprising her with something else she might love, even if it only cost a buck, can go far. It’s not about the thing. It’s about you thinking about her. Organize babysitting and kidnap her for a date night. If you notice she looks beautiful, say it out loud. Simple stuff. More often than not doing nice things for one another—like we all did at the beginning before kids and years of pet peeves—can inspire nice things to come back at you.

Cultivating desire goes a long way to each partner getting more of the sex and romance they want in their relationship.

Cleaning

Women tell me: I do all the cleaning. Men tell me: I do half the cleaning but it’s never good enough. If you can afford to hire a cleaner, do it. It’s a lot cheaper than marriage counselling. If you can’t, then find a way to split the chores in an equitable way that takes into consideration all else that each partner is contributing—child care, work, kid organization, etc. Agree on who is responsible for what and just do it. Don’t announce when you have completed a chore. Do not keep score. Just do what you agreed to do and move forward. And do it well. Accept that your partner might not do it the way you would, but is it good enough by any rational standard? Your relationship matters more than a streak on the mirror. It just does.

The Mental Weight of the Household

Men tell me: She nags me about stuff. Women tell me: He has no idea what I do. Cleaning, making meals and school drop offs are all visible parts of domestic life and with any luck they are being shared fairly. But there is an invisible layer of work that often goes unnoticed and underappreciated: paying bills, booking appointments, finding child care, knowing what colour shirt has to be worn on a certain day at school, when registration opens for extracurriculars, remembering who needs shots when and what gift your child’s friend would like for her birthday. There is a whole world of tasks that suck up a ton of mental energy. Juggling all of that USUALLY seems to fall on the woman’s shoulders (not always, but I’m generalizing based on my unofficial research). This work, and its value to the family, going un- or underappreciated is a pain point for a lot of moms. Sometimes we ask for help. Most of the time we just do it quietly and then unleash our fury when you want props for cleaning the toilet while we have just finished a colour-coded schedule for summer camps, which we have registered and paid for without help.

IslandParent.ca

It’s not fair for one person to do all of this without getting a break on other tasks. It’s also not fair to punish someone for not helping when we didn’t ask. What’s important is that both parties recognize that this layer of work exists, needs to be balanced in the overall schematic of family life.

Erin Skillen Post-Married Mommy

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Losing Your Individuality in the Coupledom

Women tell me: He gets annoyed when I want to go out without him. Men tell me: She gets annoyed when I want to go out without her. Being part of a loving couple can be one of the greatest things we experience in life but it’s incredibly easy to lose yourself within it. Some people want to be together all the time and that’s great if both partners feel that way. What’s important to remember is not everyone wants to hand over their individuality and have it fully absorbed by the roles of partner and parent. It’s healthy to have friends you see on your own, go do a hobby you love, or simply take a walk alone if that’s what refuels you. It would take a professional to explain why some people get antsy when their partners want to do stuff solo, but I suspect it comes from jealousy, envy or fear. Often the fear of losing our partner means we hold them as close as possible, even suffocating them. Or we’re struck with FOMO—fear of missing out. They’re having fun and I’m stuck at home with the kids! WTF! But making time and space for non-couple and non-parental activities is essential for most people to stay connected with themselves and subsequently be a better parent and partner.

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The Bottom Line

Be kind to one another. Do what you say you will as well as you can. Give each other a break sometimes. Don’t take what you have for granted. Because the little stuff does matter and it adds up before you know it—for the good or for the bad.

Erin Skillen is a coffee-addicted mom and media producer in Victoria. To ditch stress she shakes her booty to Beyoncé, spins around in a giant metal hoop and writes romantic comedies with another mom. IslandParent.ca

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May 2017 13

how ambivalent she was about signing up for the Music Festival last fall. Performing in public isn’t easy when you’re 10, and she’s had some anxiety issues this year. But she

The Pianists

e arrive at the venue for the Upper Island Music Festival seconds before the morning session is scheduled to begin. Coming from a smaller community, I’d forgotten how challenging it can be to find appropriate parking (i.e. for longer than two hours) so close to Nanaimo’s downtown core. I pay the modest admission fee, and my 10-year-old daughter and I slip into a wooden pew at the back of the tiered sanctuary of St. Andrew’s Church. We have a clear view of the grand piano in the centre below. I’m hopeful that watching her peers’ fingers travel up and down the keys will be a sufficient distraction for my daughter, who has to wait nearly two hours before her own turn on the bench. This is her first music festival. Her hand grips mine as the adjudicator is introduced; I whisper reassurances, and remind her how proud I am that she’s here. A handsome four-year-old in a black suit and bowtie is called up first, but instead of ascending the steps to the piano he clings to his mother’s legs. No amount of coaxing will persuade him to let go. The scene drags on for

a long minute, then there’s a whispered consultation and the session organizer announces that the reluctant boy will have another opportunity to play later in the morning. Things proceed more smoothly from this point. The next participants are a few years older, and make their way to the front without protest. I’m surprised at how few false notes I hear in their short pieces, how fluidly many of these young pianists play. A few take their bows with practised confidence when they’re finished; most scurry back to their seats with flushed faces and sheepish half-smiles. There’s a brief pause at the end of each category while the adjudicator makes her notes and then descends to the front to address the audience. She’s a generous woman in a flamingo-pink sweater, with encouraging suggestions for each participant. I glance around as she speaks, at the other moms and dads and grandparents assembled. We represent a cross-section of ages and cultures, but we are all beaming proudly. As the morning progresses, I check in with my daughter. She seems reasonably calm given

Rachel Dunstan Muller says a hesitant yes. She’s done a lot of work in the intervening months. Not just weekly lessons and daily practises, but breathing and mindfulness exercises too. There’s a new drama when the well-dressed four-year-old is called up for the next category. He’s no longer attached to his mother’s legs, but now he refuses to surrender his music book to the adjudicator. There’s a brief stare-down, and then his mother gently wrestles the book from his hand and tugs him toward the piano. I can feel the sympathy in the room—for the embarrassed mom, for the frightened child. We hold our breath, waiting for the silent tableau to play out. And then suddenly the boy is seated at the bench, his fingers resting

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on the keys with his mother crouched behind him for support. There’s a pregnant pause, and he begins. The first bars are surprisingly confident, but then he falters and has to start again. Once he’s underway a second time his little fingers fly—through three separate pieces. My daughter turns, her eyebrows raised. His mastery has caught us both off guard. The program continues, and I begin to feel my own butterflies. These children are good. It’s a genuine pleasure to listen to the music rippling from their young hands. But the more impressed I become with my daughter’s peers, the more anxiety I begin to feel about her imminent performance. Is the piece she chose sufficiently impressive? Did I encourage her to practice enough? Many of the other girls are wearing taffeta and sequins; is she under-dressed in her cotton skirt? My daughter is the tenth and last participant in her category. I glance over frequently as the others take their turns, and am reassured by what I see. My daughter is watching her peers with a generous sense of wonder. They are good, and she can see it. But instead of anxiety or envy, I see admiration and pride in her eyes. She’s proud of herself for showing up, and proud to be included among this talented group. Her name is called, and my breath catches. She introduces herself and her piece with a shy dignity, and takes her seat at the piano. I’m still holding my breath when the last note evaporates. And then the tears are falling. My daughter isn’t a prize contender—not this time, at least—but she played her piece competently, and I am so, so proud. She worked hard to prepare for this moment, pushing herself way beyond her comfort zone. The adjudicator seems to sense this; her words for my daughter are kind. At the very beginning of the morning the adjudicator had some words for us parents as well. She commended us for giving our children the gift of music, “the gift of a lifetime.” She talked about how music is good for young brains, how playing an instrument increases spatial reasoning and awareness. She described its value as a universal language in a world of diverse cultures, and how it gives pleasure both to the one producing it and to the listener. She told us that music gives our children an outlet for self-expression, and allows them to experience beauty through art. All of this is true, and more. This morning music made our children shine like stars.

Rachel Dunstan Muller is the mother of five, and a children’s author. Her previous articles can be found at islandparent.ca. IslandParent.ca

May 2017 15

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Island Parent Magazine

s a new parent, finding you-time is a bit like playing Tetris. Between baby’s meals, your own meals, naps, diaper changes, crying spells and keeping house, the notion of self-care seems like it won’t fit. But as the weeks go by, you start to spot little (minuscule!) moments in your day where you could be doing something for the sole purpose of pleasing yourself. At the dawn of 2017 I started sharing on Facebook the titles and my ratings of the books I’ve recently read. I’m currently averaging one book per five days. People keep asking me how the heck I have time to myself with an active toddler tearing the joint apart. Well, simply put, I make me-time a priority (and chores less of one). I’ve found a self-care system that works well for me based on my hobbies. Carving out portions of my day to focus on myself has improved my mood, my well-being and, funnily enough, my ability to give my daughter my undivided attention. Here are a few things that work for me. Hopefully you can find a tidbit or two that will fit nicely into your lifestyle. If you’re a bookworm, get an e-reader. Seriously. My newborn daughter took threeto four-hour naps in my arms for weeks on end. I was literally nap-trapped. (I watched all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls in less than a month. Yikes.) I soon learned that turning a book page without disturbing my sweet sleeping baby was like doing yoga in a body cast. After a frantic request, my husband brought home a (waterproof!) Kobo. All I have to do to “turn” a page is extend my free thumb. Once you’ve invested in the device, get a library card if you don’t already have one. Our local libraries have countless titles in e-book format that you can check-out and renew just like regular books. Unfortunately e-readers do not come in old-book-smell yet. My email to the Kobo people is in progress. Take the edge off chores. We all do it— housework when the baby’s asleep. Boo, hiss. If you’re past the sleep-when-the-babysleeps phase, you can easily make chores fun by popping in some earbuds. Once a week I load up my iPod with a handful of IslandParent.ca

my favourite podcasts so that I can listen to something funny or interesting while I do the dishes, fold laundry or make supper. Suddenly, I’ve crossed everything off my to-do list and I barely felt it. If you’re not the podcast type, audio books are a great alternative. You have to pay a bit more attention to audio books than podcasts so they’re better for when

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Colleen Davis ACTIVITIES MAY INCLUDE: you’re doing a mindless task. Like e-books, audio books can be borrowed from your local library. Double-up on the fun. Can’t choose between two (or three!) you-time go-to’s? You may not have to. If walking is part of your self-care routine, both podcasts and audio books are fantastic choices for a long walk with baby. (Be careful to move your earbud cord well out of the way if you are carrying your little one.) Are you a gym junkie? On cardio days both podcasts and audio books are a great alternative to your workout playlist. Stick with the tunes if you need to count reps. Two of my self-care methods are colouring and knitting. A new package of finetipped felt pens easily makes me swoon. I’m like a cat in a yarn store over a new skein of wool. Obviously I can’t colour and knit at the same time (I don’t think), but—and you may be sensing a pattern here—this is the perfect time to listen to a podcast. If you’re working on a complex knitting/ sewing/crochet pattern, save the book for a bubble bath. You may not have the same interests as I do but my point is this: you can find ways to maximize your free time, no matter what you like to do. Heck, you can even turn chores into you-time. Witchcraft! New parenthood is hard. Really hard. (And truly amazing.) It’s the little moments of peace we create for ourselves that keep us sane. Whatever makes your heart full, or sparks your imagination, or inspires you to create—that’s also your baby. Both need your attention. Colleen Davis is a newly appointed stay-athome-mom from Victoria. She is a voracious reader and single-handedly keeps the breakfast cereal industry afloat. IslandParent.ca

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Well…This is Awkward But maybe it doesn’t have to be

ou know those questions your kids spring on you out of the blue? I’m referring to those queries in the realm of sex, drugs, and other such PG-13 topics. Those questions. I love them. LOVE ’em. Few moments bring me greater joy than when I get to stop scrubbing a casserole dish, remove my son’s menstrual cup-hat, look him in his big blues eyes, and describe the intricacies of how and why uteri slough their linings once a month. I’ve met a few other weirdos like me who start acting like 12-week-old golden retrievers when their kids bring up juicy subjects. “Do we get to talk about puberty now? Do we, do we, do-we-do-we-do-we?!” But most parents I know find it all pretty awkward and maybe even a bit stressful trying to navigate those tricky waters. And I’ve certainly stumbled more than a few times when particularly heavy topics have come up. So how do we answer our sweet inquisitive offspring with minimal stuttering and sweating? I’ve never Googled it to get a professional point of view, but as a mere layparent, I’ve figured out a few tricks that have served me well over the years, and might just minimize possible trauma for both parties. See what you think: 1. Make it more of a conversation than a lecture. Acknowledge their curiosity and ask questions back. “It sure is an interesting phenomenon, eh? What made you curious about that?” 2. Try to stick to short answers, one question at a time. I’ll be the first to admit that I forget this one often. If asked, “How does the baby get out of the uterus?” I could simply answer, “Usually it goes through the mom’s vagina.” But it’s also likely that I launch into a 20-minute rant about the medicalization of childbirth, possibly peppered with a few gripes about people saying “vagina” when they mean “vulva.” Cut to my daughter staring into space, then popping out a nonsequitur about the Ghostbusters movie. Like so many things in life, keeping it simple is usually best. 3. Recognize differing points of view. For example, “In our family, grownups and kids sometimes have a bath together. Other families might like more privacy.” 4. I like to encourage my kids to empathize as much as possible. When I point out that people who make not-so-hot choices

18 Island Parent Magazine

are usually not actually bad people, we often end up having particularly thoughtful conversations. 5. Sometimes I get my kids to answer their questions themselves. This usually works best for the big philosophical questions, like death and the afterlife. “What do you think happens after we die?” If they still don’t have a clue, I fill them in on my thoughts, then try to keep the conversation going so I can bring it back to their own ideas. This is another good time to recognize other points of view. 6. How about the issue of proper terminology? I’m all about testicles and rectums, but for some reason I still struggle to say “breasts” instead of “boobs.” I’m working on that one. And I suspect in our household, we’ll always say “poop” and “bum” instead of “feces” and “buttocks.” I suppose I’m finding a happy medium wherein I avoid the crude and the cutesy, but still use commonly used words that would be acceptable if my kids repeat them on a school playground. On a side note, there are fewer things cuter than a 3-year-old talking about her “utewuth.” 7. Use books! There are so many incredible books out there to help you tackle the hard stuff. Libraries often have a great selection. I like to make sure I have a good read through it first to make sure I share the point of view the book presents. In the last few years, some great kids’ body/sex books have come out that address topics like same-sex relationships and gender identity. 8. Use other resources. My son loved watching some (thoroughly vetted) YouTube childbirth videos in preparation for the arrival of our second kid. And why not ask other close family members and friends to get in on conversations? If your child asks “Why doesn’t Uncle Alex drink wine with you guys when he comes over?”, Uncle Alex might like the opportunity to explain in his own words. It would probably be a good idea to check with him first though. 9. What if a kid who’s not your own asks you an awkward question? My standby line is “That’s something that parents usually like to talk about with their own kids. Why don’t you try talking to your parents about that?” Then I give the mom(s) and/or dad(s) the head’s up. 10. Sometimes those questions delve into topics that could be too intense for little ones. I say trust your good old gut on this

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one. Is it merely an uncomfortable question, or is it one that your kid might truly not be ready to understand? If you stick to giving answers, one question at a time, the topic might move along naturally. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that

Jenny Hyslop on the sidewalk?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a syringeâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a syringe?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usually used to put medicine in people.â&#x20AC;? And that might be the end of the topic (likely after thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a discussion about not touching them). But what if â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why is it on the sidewalk?â&#x20AC;? follows? I say go ahead and say â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know,â&#x20AC;? if thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as far as it feels okay to go. Because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still totally the truth. Or at least enough truth for the time being. And if the questions continue, you could say something along the lines of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kind of hard to explain. I think we should talk about this again when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in Grade 3.â&#x20AC;? What do you think? Makes it sound kind of fun, right? Just a little? So you might not ever revel in doing the condom-on-a-cucumber demo, but maybe youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be able to answer â&#x20AC;&#x153;talk to my kids about the drugs Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve triedâ&#x20AC;? over â&#x20AC;&#x153;get a filling at the dentistâ&#x20AC;? in a game of Would You Rather. Overall, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m doing my best to create open-ended, open-minded discussions that will evolve over the years. My goal is that my now-young kids will keep coming to me and my husband with their questions when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re teenagers. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not naive; I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t expect that my daughter will only have the occasional beer once she hits 19, or that my son wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ever check out porn. But I hope that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know exactly what to do when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had some impromptu drinks after driving somewhere. And I hope theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll realize that pornography sex is a strange and unreal depiction of the real thing. Because such conversations have been going on for so long in our house that they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even remember when they first learned these things. That info is just there, mingling in their brains alongside multiplication tables and celebrity trivia, and perhaps a vague image of their nut-job mom with an excited glint in her eye.

Jenny Hyslop is a yoga instructor/kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; music teacher/artist/writer/comedian/collector and seller of vintage odds/mama of two. She lives in a wee island community and loves to continuously add titles to her bio. IslandParent.ca

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20 Island Parent Magazine

Products & Services for New Parents Abra-Kid-Abra carries new and used clothing, shoes, boots, dress-up, dancewear, furniture and equipment. Children’s car seat and infant furniture and equipment is available to rent. 2005 Oak Bay Avenue, Victoria. abrakidabravictoriabc.com. The Burnside Gorge Community Association offers Parent and Tot drop-in programs throughout the week that are free or lowcost. Drop-ins allow parents to meet other parents while their children play, learn and meet other children. Other Family Centre programs include: Fun for Little Ones, Kindergym, Toddler Art, and a Community Family Dinner. For program days, times, and drop-in fees please visit burnsidegorge.ca or call 250-388-5251. Child Care Resource & Referral. May is Child Care Month. The BC government proclaims the month of May as Child Care Month in honour of the many child care providers and early childhood educators dedicated to the well-being of children throughout the province. Child Care providers across the province provide a valuable service for families and high quality child care enriches a child’s early learning experience. May 18 is Child Care Provider Appreciation Day to acknowledge and celebrate the significant contribution of child care providers and early childhood educators and the important supportive role they play to a family. Thank you! bclaws.ca/civix/ document/id/proclamations/proclamations/ ChldCareMnth2017. Kool & Child. For your child’s first teddy bear, teether, or book, check out our great selection of infant and toddler toys. We also carry an extensive collection of games, toys, and puzzles, for all members of your family—from siblings to grandparents, or even yourself. Come explore our store! 102-2517 Bowen Road, Nanaimo. 1-888-390-1775. koolandchild.com.

Momease Baby Boutique specializes in innovative and functional baby gear and parenting accessories. Centrally located in Victoria, we offer a wide selection of items including strollers, car seats, carriers, cribs, clothing, shoes, toys, books and more. We are passionate about helping you navigate the road to parenthood and beyond, so whether it’s creating a personalized baby gift registry, or a first outing with your newborn, we love spending time with new or expectant parents. Visit us at our bright and bustling boutique at 1581 Hillside Avenue (778-265-5651), right across from Hillside Centre, or shop online at momease.ca. Mothering Touch Centre is the comprehensive resource centre for new and expectant parents. We offer support through every stage of pregnancy and early parenthood: childbirth preparation, pre-and post-natal yoga, breastfeeding support, parenting classes, parent-and-baby groups, and baby massage. Our friendly staff inform and support parents and grandparents as they select cloth diapers, nursing bras, breastpumps and breastfeeding accessories and much more. Drop in for a chat, nurse your baby in our lounge, and experience the warmth of the Mothering Touch. 975 Fort St. 250-5954905. motheringtouch.ca. In opening Resthouse we wanted to help people solve their sleep issues as well as offer truly healthy mattresses and bedding. Resthouse provides sleep solutions that range from: custom fitted head pillows; natural bedding and wool comforters that promote temperature regulation; body pillows that assist those healing from injuries or people with alignment issues; plus carefully curated luxurious mattresses made from the finest quality ingredients. Resthouse also carries a full line of children and baby mattresses and bedding. At Resthouse our cornerstones are: transparent information, certified safe products and a passionate knowledgeable staff. We believe that everyone deserves a

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safe a healthy sleep. 126 Station St, Duncan. 1-844-855-REST (7378). Spina Biﬁda. Something so small can make such a big difference. Folic acid reduces the risk of birth defects such as spina bifida. It is found in some foods, but for most women, eating fortified food is not enough. To reach the recommended daily level you will need a vitamin supplement and it should be taken at least three months before pregnancy. Help protect your baby before it is born by getting enough folic acid daily. sbhabc.org. Parents, have you heard that Thrifty Foods has a virtual store? We know you don’t always have time to get to the grocery store, so we’re ready to help you. You make the selections and your shopper chooses the best quality products and packages your groceries just like you would so they arrive to you in excellent condition. The convenience of Thrifty Foods Online Shopping is that you can shop any time of the day that suits you or your baby. Pay online with a credit card or pay upon pickup or delivery of your groceries with VISA, MasterCard, Amex, “SmileCard” or Debit. Visit thriftyfoods. com and let us do the shopping for you.

r e m Sum g o r p g n i n i a tr

Whether it’s diapers or decor, TJ’s The Kiddies Store is the place to go for all your baby needs. Welcoming your new baby into the world is a wonderful and challenging experience; so many decisions and so little time. Our friendly and knowledgeable staff is ready to help make your decisions as stress-free as possible. Our selection varies from furniture sets to safety items and everything in between. TJ’s is also a great place for gifts—with a baby registry and many wonderful gift ideas you will be able to find the right thing to make any new parent happy. We’re easy to find at 3045-c Douglas St. (enter off Larch St)… we’re under Sleep Country. 250-386-2229. Mark your calendars for September 30 and October 1, 2017. The 11th annual Vancouver Island Baby Fair is happening at Pearkes Rec Centre. Celebrate your growing family with us. Come visit an arena of exhibitors, a full lineup of main stage presentations, children’s performers, great shopping, parenting resources, fantastic prizes, our popular photo contest, baby races & more, for families ranging from pregnancy through preschool. Exhibitor registration begins May 15. Go to VancouverIslandBabyFair.com for details or call 250-686-5693.

Welcome Wagon’s New Parent Market reaches new mothers with greetings and congratulations personally presented at home after the birth of their babies. A package of pertinent information on civic and community services is presented, followed by a directory of our sponsors and token gifts from participating businesses, and where appropriate, printed invitations for the family to redeem at their place of business. We also do Baby Showers for expectant moms. There we provide civic and educational information. It is given to her before baby is born. For more information please visit welcomewagon.ca or call 1-866-518-7287.•

Let my family show your family the way home

Abra-Kid-Abra

Choosing the right Real Estate Agent just got easier!

ram

Canadian Forces Sailing Association

www.cfsaesq.ca

1001 Maple Bank Road

irals

R Colville

CFB Esquimalt Dockyard

ESQ M

Week

Adm

F SA ON

A AL T SQU

To registerADULT call: COURSES

Evenings

Tues & Thurs. DND NON- Adult Colwood Activity COST DNDCentre CANSail

June 2 June 25

June 29 July 22

250-363-1009 Mon. & Wed.

$300

$330

Basic

June 30 July 23

courseIntro information: Tues For & Thurs. to the sport of sailing & seamanship. Covers a range to cfsaesq.ca/training/summer_training_program.html, July 28 Tues & Thurs. suit all experience levels. Aug 20

email sailinginstructor@cfsaesq.ca, phone 250-385-8873 Fri. eve. and We follow of instruction Aug the Sail Canada CANSail curriculum Adult CANSail 7, 8, 9

• A great selection of kids’ clothing • Dress-up for girls and boys • Shoes…Pedipeds, Stride Rite…and More • Rainwear and rainboots…TUFFO – MUDDYBUDDY, now up to size 5 • Large selection of books

Courses for all ages, from beginner level to Advanced.

Maplebank Rd

Sat. & Sun. daytime

Look for CFSA

IslandParent.ca on Facebook!

$300

$330

Victoria Midwives. Midwives care for women throughout pregnancy, birth and for six weeks postpartum. Midwives offer personalized care and provide education and counselling that address the physical, emotional, and cultural needs of women and their families. Midwives offer a choice of birthplace either in hospital, or at home. Midwives provide breastfeeding support, ensure the mother is recovering from the birth, and monitor the baby’s growth. Midwifery care is covered by your care card. See our ad on page 9. midwivesinvictoria.ca.

As a 3rd generation Realtor, born and raised in Victoria, I am dedicated to providing the highest level of service and look forward to assisting you with all your Real Estate needs.

Paula Wensley

Oﬃce: 250-388-5882 Cell: 778-678-7387

Pwensley@macrealty.com Paulawensley.com

Car Seats, Cribs, Play-n-Pak, High Chairs and more available for short term rentals Now Accepting Maternity & Summer Consignment New & Used Toys, Clothing & Furniture Visit our new location: 2005 Oak Bay Ave • 778 265 5430

Advanced

Progress to Advanced sailing skills. Basics course prerequisite.

May 2017

2016 Child Care Award of Excellence for Leadership: Lexie Biegun

Come to our

OPEN House!

Sunday, May 21 1 to 3pm Are you on our waitlist? Looking for childcare in the future? Please RSVP to lexieslittlebears@gmail.com

1931 Millstream Road Meet the educators, walk through our property! Visit all 3 centres. See what everyone is talking about! Newly renovated and always EXPANDING! Reggio-Influenced, Nature Based Daycare Infant/Toddler and Preschool Programs

www.lexieslittlebears.ca 22 Island Parent Magazine

Waitlist: 250-590-3603 IslandParent.ca

Yo! Mama

Wisdom, Tips, Advice & Ramblings “My mother’s gifts of courage to me were both large and small. The latter are woven so subtly into the fabric of my psyche that I can hardly distinguish where she stops and I begin.” Maya Angelou on motherhood

Top 10 Baby names of 2017...so far (from babycenter.com) : 1. Emma & Liam • 2. Olivia & Noah • 3. Isabella & Mason • 4. Ava & Oliver • 5. Mia & Elijah 6. Sophia & Lucas • 7. Charlotte & Ethan • 8. Amelia & Aiden • 9. Harper & James • 5. Aria & Logan

10 Things I Quit Doing To Make My Life More Enjoyable 1. Complaining 2. Expecting Things 3. Worrying About What I Can’t Control 4. Being Hard on Myself 5. Activities

6. Doing Laundry on the Weekends 7. Constantly Cleaning 8. Doing Dishes on Friday and Saturday Nights 9. The Internet 10. Arguing With My Spouse Over Who Is More Tired

From 10 Things I Quit Doing To Make My Life More Enjoyable by Christina Antus on Scary Mommy, scarymommy.com.

I Fed my Kids Pop tarts for lunch

6 other things I did (or didn’t do) today that just made me an okay mom: 1. I let Nexflix be their babysitter today. I’m so glad they only charge $10 a month instead of by the hour or we would be B-R-O-K-E. 2. I let them eat waaaay too much Easter candy. My theory: if they eat it, I won’t. 3. I told them “just a minute” about 2,846 times today. 4. Instead of “no” all day long I said “yes” to pretty much everything. And I’m pretty sure that is why there is now hand soap all over my dining room floor. 5. I let my 4-year-old daughter spend the day bottomless (undies and pants) because she just plainly likes to be naked. Don’t worry. We’ve spent the entire day in the house. 6. I don’t feel bad about this list. I’m not going to make myself out to be someone I am not. And on Mondays, I am not super-mom. My kids, of course, don’t even realize that I’m not my best mom-self today. In their eyes, I’m mom of the year every day. Well, almost every day. They’re not fans of me forcing them to eat their veggies or cleaning up their toys on Tuesdays or Thursdays. From I Fed My Kids Pop-Tarts For Lunch (And 11 Others Ways I Was An Okay Mom Today) by Angela Fry on Huffington Post huffingtonpost.com.

IslandParent.ca

#inthetrenches

jennifer armstrong photography • jenniferarmstrongphotography.com instagram.com/jenniferarmstrongphotography

Stephanie Oriz @Six_Pack_Mom It takes my toddler son four minutes to put his shoes on, yet he can delete three apps & open Netflix on my iPhone in 12 seconds.

Melissa McCartney @ToastyGiraffe Me: *sings along to radio*

3yo: why don’t you let it sing all by itself?

Tragic Ally @Tragicallyhere My son was crying and asked, “why doesn’t the dog have to wear pants?” And it’s like, I don’t even know. So now I’m putting pants on the dog.

Cray at Home Ma @cray_at_home_ma I tucked my kids in last night and said, “See you in the morning!” and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise.

Lurkin’ Mom @LurkathomeMom Me: Can you guys cooperate if I take you to the store? 5yo: Do we have to decide right now?

Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Icing Cake:

Frosting:

2 cups all purpose flour 11⁄2 cups sugar 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon 3 cups grated carrots 1 cup vegetable oil 4 eggs

3 oz cream cheese (half a brick) cup butter

1 tsp vanilla 2 cups icing sugar (confectioner’s sugar)

1⁄4

Cake: Mix dry ingredients together and set aside. In a separate bowl, combine oil, eggs and carrots. Stir dry ingridients into oil mixture. Beat with electric beaters or a whisk until well mixed. Pour into a sprayed 9×13" baking dish, and bake at 325ºF for 50–60 minutes. Frosting: Cream together butter and cream cheese. Add vanilla. Gradually add icing sugar and mix until smooth. Ice cooled cake. Enjoy!

May 2017

It’s BioBlitz Time

ant to kick-off your summer early? Get outside during Canadian Environment Week. Gulf Islands National Park Reserve invites your family to a free, 24-hour BioBlitz on Pender Island on Friday, June 9 from 4 p.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, June 10. What’s a BioBlitz? During a BioBlitz, experts help the public to find as many different types of plants and animals as possible in a set amount of time. The BioBlitz on Pender Island will be divided into two main activities: the BioBlitz Family Festival with drop-in activities for all ages, and Species Surveys for adults and families with children older than 12. The BioBlitz Family Festival engages families in hands-on science. On Friday night, hunt for insects and fish with bright lights. On Saturday, roam between three stations. At the Sea Station, drag nets for creatures and touch animals brought up from the deep by divers. At the Lake Station, check traps for newts and dip with nets for aquatic insects. At the Forest Station, check slug traps and make a pooter, a small jar to catch bugs safely. Enjoy a bonus at the Forest Station: a campfire and S’more fixings.

Throughout the event, use your smartphone or camera to take photos of all the creatures you find. Make these photo observations during species surveys, at the family festival or while exploring on your own. Upload your photos to inaturalist.ca (using the free Wi-Fi at Basecamp) and help create a biodiversity snap-shot. Your observations will become part of an online record that could be used for future decisions in the park reserve. Have fun and help inventory plants and animals for a national protected area. You’ll learn from not only Parks Canada experts, but also from the staff of many collaborating organizations. Meet scientists, naturalists and interpreters from the Royal BC Museum, Beatty Biodiversity Museum, Ocean Networks Canada, Vancouver Aquarium, Shaw Centre for the Salish Sea, Marine Life

Island Parent Magazine

Sanctuaries Society, Pender Island Field Naturalists and Victoria Natural History Society. Registered participants can choose to camp for free at the BioBlitz Basecamp at the Pender Islands School on Friday or simply hop aboard BC Ferries and come over to the island for a day-trip on Saturday.

Athena George Registration is required for this free event. To register for the Parks Canada BioBlitz on Pender Island, June 9 to 10, go to BioBlitz2017gulfislands.eventbrite.ca or call 250-654-4000 or 1-877-852-3100. Check out the other free programs at Gulf National Park Reserve this summer. Join A Taste of Camping on Saturday, July 29 at MacDonald Park in Sidney from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Parks Canada and Mountain Equipment Co-op will show you how to cook with everything from tin foil to a Dutch oven. Sample delicious camping food. During July and August bring your family to a campfire program at MacDonald Park on Saturday nights from 7 to 8 p.m. or make a trip to Saturna Island to join an interpreter in a farewell tribute to Granny, the famous southern resident killer whale, on Saturday afternoons at East Point from 2 to 2:30 p.m. (pc.gc.ca/gulfislands) As part of Canada’s 150th birthday celebrations, Parks Canada is holding BioBlitz events across the country. Jump into more outdoor fun with two other local events this spring. BioBlitz in the Meadow at Fort Rodd Hill National Historic Site runs from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, May 13. Register online at BioBlitz2017frh-en.eventbrite.ca or call 1-877-737-3783. West Coast Quest BioBlitz at Pacific Rim National Park Reserve goes from noon Saturday, May 20 to noon Sunday, May 21. Register online at PacRimBioBlitz2017.eventbrite.ca or 1-888-773-8888. See you at the BioBlitz!

Athena George organizes BioBlitz events and leads programs as an interpreter at Gulf Islands National Park Reserve. She loves finding ways to get children excited about nature.

Spa Parties • Rockin’ Pop-star • Spa-Jamma My Pick ‘n’ Mix Party • Neon Lights Dance Party Enchanted Fairy • Princess Party • Magical Mermaids BFF Mini Parties & more

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victoriagymnastics.com May 2017 25

Books for the maternally Inclined Thanks to our intrepid band of reviewer mamas—Serena Beck, Jerri Carson, Amalia Colussi, and Christina Van Starkenburg—who sought a quiet couple of minutes/hours here and there to tirelessly, uh, okay, gleefully read, and sometimes re-read, the following assortment of motherhood books. The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandhal Before picking up this book, I heard lots of good things about The Danish Way. It did not disappoint. Alexander and Sandahl use their experiences as mothers living in Denmark to bring to life the research about the differences in the way Danes and Americans parent their children, and how those differences cause Danish children to be much happier than American children. The authors focus on six distinct differences—which can be easily remembered using the acronym PARENT—to teach American parents (and Canadian ones, too) how they can mimic Danish parenting techniques and stop the cycle that’s seen antidepressant use increase 400 per cent. While Alexander and Sandahl include some fictional dialogue to illustrate a few different points, I found the tone of the conversation unnatural and, in turn, unhelpful. However, at the end of each chapter Alexander and Sandahl include practical and helpful tips for parents who want to integrate the Danish methods into their parenting. Overall, this is a great book for parents who want to become more understanding of their children’s emotions and help them become more resilient. The book is easy to understand, quick to read, and parents can start implementing changes after just one chapter. CVS

ders for human lifespans, but our health is paying a price in ailments tied to unhealthy or inadequate levels of microbes in our guts. A little dirt, particularly on our kids, would do us a world of good. After covering the role of microbes in pregnancy, birth, breast/bottle feeding, solid foods and beyond, the book turns to modern-day “epidemics” like obesity, Celiac Disease, diabetes and more. Did you know that, according to the book, our gut bacteria can affect anxiety, depression, social recognition, and stress responses? Let Them Eat Dirt is a quick, informative read that’s easy to absorb. Each chapter closes with a list of do’s and don’ts—which actually double as handy chapter summaries. In clear, simple writing, the authors give all the dirt on the hyper cleanliness afflicting many of us, and what we can do about it. AC

Breathe, Mama, Breathe: 5-Minute Mindfulness for Busy Moms by Shonda Moralis When I practice yoga once a week, I am more patient with my children. Since I’ve started practicing the principles and mindful exercises in Moralis’ book Breathe, Mama, Breathe, I definitely feel as if I am operating less on autopilot, which is explained as driving somewhere and then realizing you had “no recollection of passing familiar landmarks along the way.” Other benefits of practicing mindfulness include being presLet Them eat Dirt: Saving Your Child ent in the moment, reacting with less anxiety from an Oversanitized World by B. Brett and stress (for example being more aware of your feelings and reactions), improving Finlay and Marie-Claire Arrieta Allergies and food sensitivities, “super- your immune system and helping you feel bugs” and antibacteria-resistance, child- “a greater sense of connection, gratitude, hood obesity and diabetes. Ever wondered and peace.” Moralis’ book taught me how to be what you could do about all of the above? mindful and present for myself and my Then this book is for you. The basic idea—yes, you guessed it from family even while completing the most the title—is that cleanliness has done won- mundane tasks. After reading this book, IslandParent.ca

you’ll feel more mindful almost any time of the day—no matter how busy you are. Moralis draws on practical and realistic examples and expectations that all parents can relate to. One common scenario: yelling at your children or rushing your children when you’re running late. After each section in the book, there is a mindfulness exercise. For example, you can practice being mindful while hugging your child, eating, drinking wine or coffee, exercising, enjoying nature, or even while doing laundry. One of my favourite exercises is the “SNAP Break”— Stop, Notice, Accept, and Pay attention to your breath. A SNAP break can stop you from taking out any anger or stress from your day on your family. “The To-Do List Mindful Break” also hit home because I have a tendency to overfill my list with too many tasks for one day. The next time I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I’ll take five minutes to breathe, and to follow one of her meditations. SB

The Kiddies Store

P I PA • Rear-facing for infants 4–35 lbs, up to 32" • True lock™ installation makes set up swift and simple with rigid latch system • Ultra-durable lightweight shell—weighs just 7.7 lbs • Removable, full coverage two position and protective UPF 50+ canopy with flip out eyeshade • Lightweight carry handle is ergonomically designed to tote with ease • Premium micro knit fabric with certified Oeko-Tex fabric • Mesh Peek-a-boo window

3045–C Douglas St., Victoria, BC V8T 4N2 250-386-2229 www.tjskids.com

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IslandParent.ca

Serving the Families of Vancouver Island for Over 23 Years

Dougla

Project Kid: Crafts that Go by Amanda Kingloff Project Kid: Crafts that Go! by Amanda Kingloff is an incredible book that is stuffed with 60 imaginative projects that will guarantee your kids endless hours of fun. Most of the projects can be made with basic craft supplies or materials you already have around the house, so you can have hours of family-friendly fun without having to go shopping and spending a lot of money. The theme of the book is transportation with awe-inspiring projects such as “jewelry box cars,” “sassy circus train,” “sponge tugboat,” and “space ranger helmet and goggles.” Step-by-step photos will enable your child to work independently on the projects. As well, there is a comprehensive guide of all the supplies needed for each project and the instructions are easy to understand. You can create playful decorations, costumes and pretend-play items. I’ve always been partial to water and boats, so my favourite section of Project Kid: Crafts that Go! is the “Water” section. This section is full of awesome projects such as “Coast Guard life jacket,” which is made from large bubble wrap and orange duct tape. You can also make your own origami boat, or make an underwater shadow puppet theatre, complete with fish, sharks and submarines. Project Kid: Crafts that Go! is an impressive resource for all things fun; you’re guaranteed to find a new, cool adventure in crafting every time you turn the page. JC

Larch St.

Entrance off Larch St.

T.J.’S

May 2017 27

Family Calendar

For calendar updates throughout the month visit IslandParent.ca

M A Y

Our Generous Sponsors WEDNESDAY

Hamster Balls at Brentwood Teen Lounge. Have a ball rolling around inside one of Games 2U Victoria’s Brown Bear, Brown Bear Everywhere at Central giant inflatable hamster balls. 6-8pm. 1233 Clarke Branch Library. Celebrate the 50th anniversary of Rd. 250-656-7271. panoramarecreation.ca. Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See? with Games Night at Nellie Esquimalt Branch Library. an interactive storytime and craft in honour of this Gather ‘round an old-fashioned board game, or play iconic picture book and other works by author Eric computer games among friends. For 13-18 year olds. Carle. For ages 3-5. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl. 6:30-8:30pm. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information. GVPL (4875) for more information.

THURSDAY

SATURDAY

Free Comic Book Day at Central Branch Library. Visit the Central Branch and take part in Free Comic Book Day festivities. Get a free comic book—or two if you dress up like your favourite character—enter to win awesome stuff, and check out the library’s selection of comics, manga and graphic novels. Teen Writer’s Reception at Nellie McClung Branch While supplies last. Everyone welcome. 9am-noon Library. Come for an evening of original creative drop in. 250-940-GVPL (4875). gvpl.ca. writing by local teens. Winners of the Teen Writing Contest will read aloud from their short stories Riverside Walk at Sooke Potholes Regional Park. and poems and receive their prizes, and contest Here’s a chance to explore Sooke Potholes Regional participants will be celebrated as new writers. Park with a CRD Regional Parks naturalist. Wear Everyone welcome. 7-8:30pm. Register at gvpl.ca sturdy footwear, pack a snack and water. Meet in or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information. parking lot #3 at 10am. 8+ years. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks. May the Force Be With You at Nellie McClung Branch Library. Join us in a galaxy not so far away for Star Wars-inspired stories, activities and crafts. For ages 8-12. 3:30-4:30pm. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

FRIDAY

Lego Stories at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Listen to stories while you create Lego masterpieces to display in the library windows. Ages 5 years and up. 3:30-4:30pm.

28 Island Parent Magazine

Family Song Circle at Nellie McClung Branch Library. Try your voice at familiar and new songs, and learn rounds, call and response songs, and simple harmonies. Singing led by Nanacy Dobbs. For children and their families. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

Asian Heritage Month: Tai Chi Kung Fu Fan at Oak Bay Branch Library. Listen to a traditional Chinese story told by local storyteller Su Ma, then practice Tai Chi Kung Fu Fan, a series of Tai Chi movements and special techniques using a large fan. If you have a favourite fan, please bring it. No experience necessary. For ages 6 and up; parents and caregivers are encouraged to attend. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information. Star Wars Day at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Calling all young padawans, Jedi Knights and Star Wars fans for a Star Wars celebration. Play games, listen to a story and have your picture taken with members of the 501st Legion. Come in costume for a chance to win prizes. All ages welcome. 10:30-11:30am.

SATURDAY

th to SUNDAY

Fairfield Artists Studio Tour in Fairfield. A selfguided tour of 27 local artists’ studios. For a map, visit fairfieldartistsstudiotour.com/map.htm.

SUNDAY

Victoria’s Ultimate Hobby & Toy Fair at Pearkes Arena. Over 200 tables with action figures, vintage toys, models, trains, comics, Barbie, dolls, bears, Lego, video games, Star Wars, GI Joe, Transformers, diecast cars, Hot Wheels, vinyl records and more. Local food vendors. Special guests. Free door prize entry with admission. Dress in costume for an extra

IslandParent.ca

door prize entry. Silent auction for the MS Society. Charity Carnival Games with all proceeds for BC Children’s Hospital. General admission: 9am-3pm, $5/adults; kids free. Early Bird entry for the serious collector: 8am-9am, $15. ultimatetoyfair.com for more details.

FRIDAY

M is for Mandala at Juan de Fuca Branch Library. Team up to create a mammoth mandala, a geometric pattern representing the universe, using objects found in nature—sand, pebbles, sticks and sea glass. Then, make a mandala paper design to Feelin’ Out Frogs at Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park. take home. For ages 6-9. 2:30-3:30pm. Register at Spring is in full swing, and so are the frogs. Join gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more a CRD Regional Parks naturalist in exploring the information. fabulous lives of the frogs that live in Elk/ Beaver Lake, including why they sing, their lifecycle and SATURDAY TH their adaptations. Meet at the grassy area adjacent to the picnic shelter in the Filter Beds parking lot Spring Sensory Snoop at Francis/King Regional at 10am. 5+ years. BC Transit #70 or #75. 250-478- Park. Bring your preschooler to celebrate spring 3344. crd.bc.ca/parks. at Francis/King. Wake up your senses on a wander through the forest. Look for spring colours, listen for birds calling, smell forest perfume and more. MONDAY TH Meet at the Nature Centre off Munn Rd at 10am. 5 Pro-D Day Swim at Panorama Recreation. Pow! Zap! years and under. 250-478-3344. crd.bc.ca/parks. Ka-boom! Come to the pool for a superhero-themed swim. Includes superhero-themed games, relay Family Song Circle at Oak Bay Branch Library. See races, scavenger hunts and more. 1-3pm. 1885 Forest SAT 6 for details. For children and their families. Park Drive. 250-656-7271. panoramarecreation.ca. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940GVPL (4875) for more information.

WEDNESDAY

Emergency Preparedness Workshop at Victoria City Hall Antechamber. Learn about the hazards that can affect Victoria, what to include in your emergency kits, what you can do to protect your home from an earthquake, and how to reunite with your loved ones after a disaster. Free. 1-3pm. Register at emvic@victoria.ca, or call 250-920-3373. VictoriaReady.ca.

Asian Heritage Month: Tai Chi Kung Fu Fan at Nellie McClung Branch Library. See SAT 6 for details. For ages 6 and up; parents and caregivers are encouraged to attend. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

SUNDAY

Mother’s Day Free Admission at Panorama Recreation. Celebrate Mother’s Day. Moms receive free DigiLab Drop-in at Langford Heritage Branch admission to drop-in activities such as swimming, Library. Explore your artistic side with crafting weight room and fitness classes. 1885 Forest Park supplies, and try out cool new tech-like filmaking Dr. 250-656-7271. panoramarecreation.ca. equipment and Makey Makey kits. For ages 13-18. 3:30-5:30pm drop in. For more info visit gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875).

MONDAY

Stories on Fern The Victoria Storytellers Guild welcomes you to hear and tell stories. Tea and goodies. Doors open at 7:15pm, stories start at 7:30pm. 1831 Fern St (park on Begbie). $5; $3/students. victoriastorytellers.org.

TUESDAY

Jan Thomas’ Silly Stories at Esquimalt Branch Library. If your little one loves giggling along to silly stories, join us for a Jan Thomas storytime and craft with a spotlight on the beloved rhyming dust bunnies. For ages 3-5. 10:30-11:30am. Register at gvpl.ca or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information.

THURSDAY

Giggles & Wiggles at Nellie McClung Branch. Little listeners with extra energy will enjoy action-filled stories, songs and rhymes followed by free play and stations. For young children and their families; children under 3 must be accompanied by an adult. 10:30-11am drop-in. 250-940-GVPL (4875). gvpl.ca.

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Connect with us May 2017 29

FRIDAY

WEDNESDAY

Lego Stories at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Listen to stories while you create Lego masterpieces to display in the library windows. Ages 5 years and up. 3:30-4:30pm.

SATURDAY

Mobile Skate Park at Greenglade Teen Lounge. Includes ramps, rails, boxes and quarter pipes. Bring your skateboard, scooter or BMX bike and helmet to give this equipment a try. Waivers must be signed by parent/guardian prior to use and helmets are mandatory. 6-8pm. 2151 Lannon Way. 250-656-7271. panoramarecreation.ca.

SUNDAY

Egg-cellent Adventures at Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary. Birds lay them. Reptiles, inEmergency Preparedness Workshop at Victoria sects and fish do too! Come witness some amazing City Hall Antechamber. See MON 6 for details. egg-speriments, discover the many different eggs Free. 7-9pm. Register at emvic@victoria.ca, or call displayed, and use tools to get a closer look at these marvels. Explore the lifecycles of some egg-laying 250-920-3373. VictoriaReady.ca. creatures through games and crafts. So put all your eggs in one basket, and join in for some Egg-cellent SATURDAY th Adventures. All ages. Admission by donation. NoonMobile Skate Park at Greenglade Teen Lounge. 4pm. 3873 Swan Lake Rd. 250-479-0211. Includes ramps, rails, boxes and quarter pipes. Bring your skateboard, scooter or BMX bike and helmet to give this equipment a try. Waivers must be signed by parent/guardian prior to use and helmets are mandatory. 6-8pm. 2151 Lannon Way. 250-656-7271. panoramarecreation.ca. BABIES, TODDLERS & PRESCHOOL

O n g oin g

SUNDAY

Baby Times, Toddler Time & Family Storytime at the Greater Victoria Public Library. Parents and Family Sunday at Art Gallery of Greater Victoria. 15th Annual Biorgional Fair at Oak & Orca School. caregivers are welcome and encouraged to particiInspired by Close to Home: Local and Regional Come for a celebration of local ecology and culture. pate with their children. Drop in; space is limited. Artists in the AGGV Collection. Enjoy an afternoon Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s activities, penny arcade, craft table, Admission is on a first-come, first-served basis. For a of hands-on art making for the whole family. 2-4pm. bake and book sales, silent auction of local and complete schedule of drop-in programs, visit gvpl.ca 1040 Moss St. 250-384-4171. aggv.ca. eco-friendly items, bioregional displays and crafts. or call 250-940-GVPL (4875) for more information. 11am-3pm. 2738 Higgins St. 250-383-6609. Good Morning Storytime at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Bring your littlest ones to the library for stories, songs, rhymes and movement. Ages 0-5. Thursdays 10:15-11am until May 25. 250-656-0944.

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teens Saanich Teen Council at Sidney/North Saanich Branch Library. Teens ages 13-18 years looking for an interesting volunteer opportunity are invited to join the Sidney/North Saanich Library Teen Council. Work on special library projects, meet other teens, have fun, boost your resume, and earn volunteer hours. Send an email to sidney@virl.bc.ca with “Teen Council” in the subject line to join the email list.

FAMILIES Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Support Circles in Victoria. A safe supportive place to meet others in a similar situation and to share information and resources. For information about groups near you, please call 250-384-8042. Also offers a province-wide toll-free information and support line for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. Call 1-855474-9777 or email grgline@parentsupportbc.ca. Parent Support Circles. Parenting isn’t always easy. sometimes it helps to talk things through with other parents. At the Parent Support Services Society of BC, we believe that every parent is the expert of her/his own family. For more information about groups near you, please call 250-384-8042 or 1-877-345-9777 or visit parentsupportbc.ca. Young Parent Drop-In at the Downtown Y. Free breakfast and drop-in for young parents in the community. Socialize with other young parents, enjoy a kids’ craft, let your little one explore the fully-equipped playroom, or have a look in the ‘free store’ for gently used children’s items and household supplies. Information available for local resources, advocacy and counselling support. The Y Young Moms Program also runs groups such as Mother Goose, Nobody’s Perfect, and Food Skills for Families. Thursdays 10am-noon. 250-382-1004.

Kids’ Dentist

Dr. Anita Gadzinska-Myers

is a Board Certified Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry and has a Fellowship in Special Needs Dentistry for children • Accepting new patients now (infants to teenagers) • Referral not needed • Member of Cleft Lip and Palate Team

Special Services:

short wait list • intravenous sedation • hospital dentistry • nitrous oxide

Victoria Pediatric Dental Centre 206–1830 Oak Bay Ave Westmont Ad_MAR_Island Parent_film1_OUTLINES.pdf

www.victoriapediatricdentalcentre.ca

2017-03-16

11:18 AM

250-383-2133

Monthly Dyslexia Information Sessions. Ending dyslexia is now possible. Learn about the latest developments in neuroscience and programs to end dyslexia quickly and with lasting results. Free information sessions held monthly with Marlene Lewis, award-winning registered speech pathologist. Please phone 250-474-6368 for details, or visit end-dyslexia.com.• C

CMY

IslandParent.ca

May 2017 31

Around

friday

The Island M A Y

Visit IslandParent.ca for these and other events and resources for families from Cowichan Valley north to Campbell River and west to Tofino

MONDAY

ST TO SUNDAY

SUNDAY

Youth Week Teen Swim at Ravensong Aquatic Centre. Celebrate Youth Week with a free swim. Youth 13-18 years can celebrate with a wild, wet and active swim with friends. 7-9pm. Free. 250-752-5014. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. Nanaimo Community Home Learners Monthly Meet-up at Oliver Woods Community Centre. Resource library, gym time, parent support, special events throughout the year. 1-4pm. $5/drop-in fee per family or $20 year-long membership. nanaimocommunityhomelearners.org.

SATURDAY

Silly Spiders at Lindley Valley Parking Lot. Are your spidey senses tingling? Explore the amazing world of spiders and what they eat, the types of webs they spin and why. This is a parent-participation course and is great for home schooled children. For 3-6 year olds. 9-10am. $8/person. 250-752-5200. Learn to Fish at Louden Park, Long Lake, Nanaimo. Join the Freshwater Fisheries Society of BC and learn the basics of freshwater fishing. Rapala fishing rods are provided, and program runs rain or shine. Parent participation required. 1-3pm. Free. 250-756-5200.

Take a Hike for Families at Beach Estates Ravine. Nanaimo offers spectacular hiking and wonderful Beaks & Feet & Birds Up Close at Buttertubs Marsh. scenery. Introduce your children to the great outDid you know a bird’s beak is specially suited for the doors in this family-friendly hike and explore some kind of food it eats, and the feet of a woodpecker of the mysteries and history of our parks. Rain or are very different from the feet of a chickadee? shine. No dogs. Participants must provide their Learn about bird body parts and how they help us own transportation. $8/adults; $5/children 8-15. identify them. Visit Buttertubs Marsh bird banding 250-756-5200. station with biologist Dr. Eric Demers from VIU and MONDAY st see the birds up close. 6+ years. 9-11am. $15/person. FRIDAY TH Youth Week Ultimate Frisbee at Bowen West 250-756-5200. Soccer Field. Try out this awesome sport for free. Pro-D Day Swim at Ravensong Aquatic Centre. Please pre-register. 5:30-7:30pm. 250-756-5200. The Great Garage Sale at Oceanside Place The diving board, rope swing and a pool toy will Arena. Clean out that attic and sell no longer be available for you to enjoy. Everyone welcome. needed items. 9am-1pm. Free. 250-248-3252. 1:30-2:30pm. Reduced admission rate. 250-752TUESDAY nd rdn.bc.ca/recreation. 5014. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. Youth Week Wheelie Event at Oceanside Place Arena. Bring your skateboard, scooter, roller blades, Super Saturday at Campbell River Art Gallery. SATURDAY th or roller skates for a wheelie event. Ethyn Smith will Painted bottles a la Valri Peyser. 1-3pm. Free. 250give tips to emerging skateboarders and Jordan 287-2261. crartgallery.ca. Jungle Book Family Swim at Ravensong Aquatic Elves will give tips to emerging bladers. Come by Centre. Get ready to rumble in the jungle. You will and check out the portable skate obstacles. Hel- Dive-in Movie at Nanaimo Aquatic Centre. Hey have a howling good swimming time with jungle mets required. For 11-18 year olds. 4:30-6pm. Free. teens, this is all about celebrating you! Come to music, dancing, and swinging on the Tarzan rope. rdnyouth.ca or contact Kelly Valade at 250-248- the pool for a movie in the warm waters. $3. 7-9pm. 10am-noon. Regular admission rate. 250-752-5014. 250-756-5200. 3252. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. Youth Week in Parksville. A national celebration of youth. A week of interaction and celebration intended to build a strong connection between young people and their community. To find out more, and to get involved, visit rdnyouth.ca, or contact Kelly Valade at 250-248-3252.

WEDNESDAY

saturday

Glow in the Dark Skate at Frank Crane Arena. Skate Move for Health Day Swim at Ravensong Aquatic in the atmosphere of dimmed lighting and special Centre. Come for a swim and celebrate Move for effects. 6:30-8pm. Health Day, an international event promoting active living. Everyone welcome. 1:30-5pm. Regular admission. 250-248-3252. rdn.bc.ca/recreation. WEDNESDAY rd TO

Thursday

Youth Week Pickleball Clinic and Tournament at Oceanside Place Arena. Learn how to play the game in the pickleball clinic on the first day, and then compete in a round robin tournament on the second day. Enter the draw to win the grand prize of a GoPro, which will be drawn during the tournament. For 13-17 year olds. 3:30-6pm. $15/person. 250-248-3252. rdn.bc.ca/recreation.

32 Island Parent Magazine

The Intertidal Zone Tour at Moorecroft Regional Park. Take a walk with a certified Park Naturalist and learn about the incredible natural world we have around us. On this tour, you will explore the intertidal zone of Vancouver Island’s east shores. From barnacles to the “love cycle” of the sea cucumber, you don’t want to miss this interesting session in the tide pools. Children 6 years + can register and attend with an adult. 11:30am-1:30pm. $16/person. 250-248-3252. rdn.bc.ca/recreation.

SUNDAY

Starlight Skate at Nanaimo Ice Centre. An opportunity to come out and enjoy the soft light “stars” and passive LED glow lights. This is a great night out for families after dinner. Regular admission rates. 7-9pm. 250-756-5200.

SATURDAY

Bumbling Bees at Bowen Park Lower Picnic Shelter. Learn about the fuzzier cousin of the honeybee. There are 20 different bumblebee species on the Island. Find out how you can help the declining bumblebee population. Learn what flowers will attract them to your garden, and participate in an exciting kid-friendly project to count the bees. 6+ years. 10-11:30am. $12/person. 250-756-5200.

IslandParent.ca

sunDaY

under the surface at Pipers Lagoon Park. Did you know that there is a mysterious world living beneath the surface of our oceans and streams? Search for these critters and learn about the life surrounding the shoreline. This is a parent participation course and is great for home-schooled children. 3-6 year olds: 1-2pm; 6+ years: 2-3:30pm. $8/person. 250-756-5200.

Summer Kids Camps 2017

learn to Fish at Colliery Dam Park, Nanaimo. See SuN 14 for details. Parent participation required. 1-3pm. Free. 250-756-5200.

tuesDaY

Day Programs & Overnight Camps

storywalk at Maffeo Sutton Park. Come for a selfguided, interactive park activity on the 150th day of the year, and enjoy the book Moose by robert Munsch. Free. 11am-1pm drop in.

ONgOINg PresCHool Family storytime at Cowichan Library, Duncan. Bring the whole family for stories, songs, rhymes and fun. For ages 0-5. Tuesdays 10:30-11:30am. 2687 James St. krumohr@virl.bc.ca.

FamIlY Drop-In science studio at NS3 Science Studio. Children can explore the many features of the Science Studio including KEVA blocks, marble wall, air field, wind tunnel, and a variety of discovery boxes. $4/child; adults free. Thursdays and Saturdays 10amnoon. Schedule subject to change, so please check nanaimoscience.org for most current schedule. 4355 Jingle Pot rd. 778-971-6893.

coastalbliss.ca

1 800 896 9525

coastalbliss@shaw.ca

Emmanuel Preschool 2121 Cedar Hill Cross Road (by entrance to UVic) Children learn through play in our all inclusive, non-denominational Christian preschool. Great facility; outdoor play area and a gym for rainy day play! Two teachers with ECE certifi cation plus an assistant teacher to help with special needs children. A competent and caring teaching team!

Class Options for 2017–2018: Mon/Wed/Fri morning class Tues/Thurs morning class 5 mornings a week

Phone 250-598-0573 preschool@emmanuelvictoria.ca

www.emmanuelpreschool.ca

Family Pool Party Fridays at Beban Pool. End the hard work week with a party at the pool. 7-9pm Friday until June 30. 250-756-5200. lions Free skate at Frank Crane Arena. Every Sunday 2-3:30pm. 250-756-5200. Golden shoe Hunt in Oceanside. This year, celebrate the rDN’s 50th anniversary by exploring some of our oldest and most historical regional and community parks in electoral areas A to H. Clues and instructions for the locations of the shoes will be posted weekly to rdn.bc.ca/recreation, rDN Facebook, and RDN Twitter until May 20.•

IslandParent.ca

May 2017

Island Parent ‘Just Be Nice’ on for Vancouver Island

Celebrating

29 Years

The Resource Publicati

Parents

May 2017

Books for the Maternally Inclined

New & Expectant Parents

Products & Services

Yo! Mama

Tips, Advice & Ramblings

Please visit any of our valued partners to pick up your latest copy of Island Parent. GREATER VICTORIA Thrifty Foods Fairway Market Real Canadian Superstore Save-On-Foods (except Westside) Lifestyle Market Country Grocer (Esquimalt & Royal Oak) Quality Foods Market on Yates & Millstream Western Foods Recreation Centres Public Libraries Serious Coffee Victoria Gymnastics SOOKE Western Foods Village Foods Seaparc Recreation DUNCAN Thrifty Foods Save-On-Foods Real Canadian Superstore 49th Parallel Public Library

CHEMAINUS 49th Parallel Public Library SHAWNIGAN LAKE Aitken & Fraser Grocery Community Centre Kerry Park Recreation LADYSMITH Save-On-Foods 49th Parallel Public Library NANAIMO Thrifty Foods Fairway Market Quality Foods Save-On-Foods PARKSVILLE Thrifty Foods Quality Foods Parksville Centre

For a complete list of where you can find a copy of Island Parent Magazine, go to

islandparent.ca 250-388-6905 34

Island Parent Magazine

A wrong-headed approach

was with my eight-year-old granddaughter, heading into the big-box discount store when I saw an elderly lady, complete with one of those four-footed canes the elderly sometimes use, shuffling her way into the store—through the exit. I didn’t think for a moment the scenario could possibly create a conflict, but I was wrong. “Hey, lady! What part of exit do you not understand? You’re in the @#$% way!” The yelling came from a 20-somethingyear-old who was trying to leave the store and found that he and his shopping cart had to stop for a moment to allow the woman with the cane to pass. The angry young man was with a female companion of roughly the same age who looked equally annoyed and urged her man to push on through. The elderly woman, somewhat flustered, did her best to clear the way, letting the young couple speed ahead with an acceleration I’d not witnessed since a Black Friday sale stampede for discount electronics. That’s when they found me standing in their path. “Excuse me,” I said. “I noticed that you were very rude to this lady, and I wanted to point out that she is at least three times your age and obviously struggling to get around. I really think an apology might be in order.” I gave them my friendliest smile, but it seemed to have no effect. They wheeled their cart around me, spewing expletives in their wake like a toxic exhaust. The incident is only one of many I’ve witnessed over the past few months, incidents that have left me wondering if civility is dead, and what impact this lack of common courtesy will have on my grandchildren. Will they, too, grow to be intolerant trolls, blustering their way through society, oblivious to the concept of common courtesy? Certainly we’re all swimming against a rising tide of incivility. Superficial pettiness and backstabbing dominate TV reality shows, celebrity chefs are made famous for bullying behaviour we wouldn’t tolerate from a six-year-old, and the political grotesques who dominate the airwaves and

social media speak to a shocking lowering of the behavioural bar. About five years ago a movement urging school kids to “Just Be Nice” started in Michigan and, unfortunately, if you asked me, it seems to have gained traction as an

Tim Collins anti-bullying tactic and an effective way to promote a “safe and civil society.” The idea is that if we tell kids to just be nice, it will solve the problem. Similarly, in Canada, kids are urged to don pink T-shirts one day a year in an effort to stop bullying. It all seems woefully inadequate if we are to reverse the damage we grown-ups have done and help our children to a better society—one where old men and women can go in the exit without fear of abuse. “Just be nice” is reminiscent of the “just say no” approach we took on drugs a few decades ago, and we know how well that turned out. Perhaps, instead, we all need to start standing up to incivility and provide both role models and guidance to our kids. I’ve come up with a few tips based on my total lack of formal training in the field of child psychology and behavioural science. Still, they seem to make sense.

1. Teach Kids Manners

I know it seems old-fashioned to say please, thank you and may I, but it creates a baseline for behaviour. From there you can move into teaching your kids about holding doors open for others, excusing oneself after burping, and putting the phone away when you’re with a real person. They’re all social norms designed to smooth the corners of communal society and though they’re largely on life support these days, my hope is they can be revived.

IslandParent.ca

2. Model the Behaviours You Hope to See

Children, especially young children, will follow your lead. If you see someone who is different, or is in need of assistance, show your children how to respond with grace. Answer questions about what you’ve done in a plain manner. And, if you happen to see some particularly bad behaviour on television, social media, or in public, point it out to your child and explain why it’s not acceptable. Acceptance of bad behaviour amounts to approval and children can recognize hypocrisy, even if they can’t put a name to the phenomenon.

3. Realize You are not Alone on the Planet; Teach Kids the Same

Much of the incivility we experience comes from a lack of awareness and empathy for others. Teach your children, by example, to be aware of and courteous to others. If someone is struggling with a task, help them out. And, if your actions are negatively impacting others, stop, give your head a rattle, and change what you’re doing. And don’t be afraid to admit to your child that you might have just screwed up.

Glenlyon Norfolk School Marine Adventure Program Looking for a fantastic, adventurous and safe kayak program for your tween or teen? The GNS Marine Adventure Program is beginning its 22nd season offering five- to six-day sea kayak camps for teens and youth. To register, visit http://www.mygns.ca/marine-adventure.

dtyrrell@mygns.ca

250.370.6852

Synchronized Swimming Summer

CAMP

July 10-14 OR Aug 21-25 Boys or Girls ages 8-12 9am-4pm $225 water & land activities

4. Return Respect with Respect

Children will never learn to respect others if they are not treated with respect. They have opinions and their own self image and cutting them off in mid-sentence or discounting their point of view teaches them it’s alright to treat others in the same way. Recognize good behaviour, and admit when you’ve fallen short and try to do better.

victoriasynchro.com

email: jennifervicsynchro@gmail.com

5. Draw a Line in the Sand

Excusing bad behaviour by your children with the “kids will be kids” attitude is just bad parenting. I prefer the “sometimes kids will be kids but when they are rude or mean to others they’re going to think the wrath of God has fallen on their rude little heads” approach. Bad behaviour has to come with consequences, along with a subsequent discussion of what your little darling has done wrong. Perhaps if enough of us follow these simple guidelines, by the time we’re struggling through the exit doors with our own canes, the next crop of young people we meet will be more understanding.

Tim Collins is a writer and freelance journalist living and working in Victoria. IslandParent.ca

May 2017 35

Food Fights

Bleiddyn del Villar Bellis Artistic Director Fellow & Examiner CSC-CICB Enrico Cecchetti Final Diploma

S 2017 Children’s Summer Camps Photo credit: David Cooper

Storybook Ballet Programs for ages 4-10 Kinder Camp Ages 4-6

July 4-7 or July 24-28

Children’s Camp Ages 6-10

July 10-14 or July 17-21

250-590-6752 admin@victoriaacademyofballet.ca victoriaacademyofballet.ca

If You Are

Moving Expecting a Baby Planning a Wedding A Grandparent A New Business/Executive Interested In a New Career

Contact Welcome Wagon Today! Victoria & Vancouver Island 1-866-518-7287 Nanaimo 250-756-9794 Or online at: welcomewagon.ca

36 Island Parent Magazine

leep, toilet training and food are three things that strike fear in the hearts of most parents. If you’ve ever wondered why children all over the globe seem to grow and thrive on all sorts of spicy and exotic foods but you can only longingly remember eating Pad Thai and vindaloo, then you are not alone. Food fads, fights and phases are all too common among children. There are a huge number of ways that kids express food preferences. From the kid who will only eat white foods, to the kid who refuses to eat anything besides Marmite sandwiches, it is almost mind-blowing the things they come up with to keep parents on their toes. In my case, I had one kid who went through a phase of only wanting sweet and starchy foods, and another kid who still doesn’t like mixing foods with different textures. And then there’s the Emmy-nominated performances that ensue whenever I accidentally serve them something with a strong flavour. Onions, garlic, spices and herbs are all drama-worthy in our house. So what is a parent to do? Here’s the advice from the Dietitians of Canada distilled down to five points: 1. It is your job, as the parent, to serve healthy meals. It is their job, as the child, to choose what they are going to eat. 2. Set regular meal and snack times (three meals and two to three snacks). Only offer water to drink between meals and snacks. This makes sure that your kids are hungry at meal times. 3. Eat together, turning meals into a family activity. 4. Don’t make special food for your child. Serve the same food to everyone; however, make sure to serve at least one food that you know your child will like (such as bread, crackers or milk) so that they won’t go hungry. 5. Let your child choose what and how much to eat. If they don’t eat anything, remind them that there will only be water until the next mealtime. I have a few piece of additional advice, based on canvasing my personal parenting resources: 1. If your kid only eats dessert, stop serving dessert. That way they won’t fill up on “treats.” (You can still eat your treats when they aren’t looking.) 2. Let them be free to grow up and change

their food preferences. This is all about the language you use to discuss food with your child. Don’t label them as a “picky eater.” Don’t tell them that they won’t like certain foods. Don’t talk about your kid’s food preferences with other people. Avoid turning their food preferences into a part of their personality. Remember, it’s just a phase that they will grow out of.

Emillie Parrish Cooking With Kids 3. Keep serving “exotic foods,” just don’t add the heat. Stick a bottle of hot sauce or sriracha on the table for the adults and a bottle of ketchup for the kids. (Surprisingly, ketchup tastes good with most foods). 4. Involve your kids in gardening, shopping and cooking. Food always tastes best when you’ve helped to prepare it! Here are two meals that hide the usual culprits of pickiness: vegetables and protein.

Green Pancakes

Kids tend to enjoy food they can pick up with their fingers and eat with various different toppings. Adults will like this recipe because it’s an easy way to include some protein and veggies. Though the recipe calls for leafy greens, you could use any puréed vegetable, though your pancakes might not be green. This recipe is easy enough for all budding chefs. Young children can help with measuring and operating the blender, and older children can help cook the pancakes. 3 eggs 1 cup of cottage cheese 2 Tbsp oil 1⁄2 cup chickpea flour (or regular flour) 1⁄2 tsp salt 1 bunch of greens (chard or spinach) or 1⁄4 cup of puréed vegetables Optional flavours: 3 Tbsp of diced onion and 1 clove of garlic 1. Place all the ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.

IslandParent.ca

Join us for FuN and ADVENTuRE at Burnside Gorge

Exciting weekly themes and out-trips!

2. Warm a frying pan on medium heat. Pour in 1⁄4 cup of the batter. 3. Flip the pancake when it is bubbling in the middle and dry around the edges then cook the other side for about 1 minute. 4. Serve with butter, cheese, yogurt, sour cream, sliced tomatoes or hummus. If you omit the onion and garlic, then you could serve the pancake with the usual sweet toppings.

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Adventure Day Camp Ages 10–15

Burnside Fun n’ sun

Licensed Day Camp Ages 5–11

SPACE IS LIMITED – REGISTER NOW!

Granola Cookies

These protein-rich cookies are both sustaining and delicious. And baking cookies is a great way to get kids into the kitchen. The recipe calls for 11⁄2 cups of added ingredients. For a healthy option, go with nuts and seeds. For a treat, use chocolate chips. 2⁄3

cup dried red lentils 2 cups water 1 cup sugar 3⁄4 cup butter 2 eggs 2 tsp vanilla extract 2 cups oat flour (or whole wheat) 1 tsp baking soda 11⁄2 tsp ground cinnamon 1 cup finely grated carrot (or apple) 11⁄2 cups added ingredients (a mix of nuts, seeds, chocolate chips or dried fruit)

FALCON

GYMNASTICS CENTRE

IslandParent.ca

Summer Sault Gymnastics Camp 2017 Call for more information:

250-479-6424

July 10 to September 1, 2017

School Age Recreational – Half Days morning or afternoon and Full Days, ages 5–14.

For more information visit our website at www.falcongymnastics.com We also have: • The best gymnastics and most affordable classes. • The best Birthday Parties in town. 208 – 721 Vanalman Ave, Victoria, BC V8Z 3B6 250-479-6424 www.falcongymnastics.com info@falcongymnastics.com

1. Bring red lentils and 2 cups of water to a boil and simmer until soft (about 15 minutes). Drain and allow to cool while you mix the rest of the ingredients. 2. Preheat the oven to 375˚F. 3. Cream butter and sugar together. When blended, beat in the egg and vanilla. 4. Stir in the flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Mix until smooth. 5. Stir in the remaining ingredients, including the cooled lentils. 6. Drop spoonfuls onto a cookie sheet about 2 cm apart. Bake for 15–18 minutes, until the underside starts to brown. Emillie Parrish loves having adventures with her two busy children. She lives in Victoria and is the author of the fermentation-based blog fermentingforfoodies.com.

250 -388-5251

For more information visit www.burnsidegorge.ca

Get Closer

the-raptors.com

Duncan, BC

250-746-0372 May 2017

Plagiocephaly

Baby ‘flat head’ and how to prevent it Healthy Families, Happy Families

Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt Gulf Islands

250-519-5311 250-539-3099

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)

Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-642-5464 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490

Central Island Health Units Duncan Ladysmith Lake Cowichan Nanaimo Nanaimo Princess Royal Parksville/ Qualicum

250-709-3050 250-755-3342 250-749-6878 250-755-3342 250-755-3342

Port Alberni Tofino

250-731-1315 250-725-4020

250-947-8242

North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071

viha.ca/prevention_services/ 38 Island Parent Magazine

id you know that up until about one year of age, the bones in your baby’s head are more thin and flexible? This makes your baby’s head very soft and easy to mold. If your baby prefers to look in one direction or if your baby is always on his or her back, part of his or her skull may become flat. This flattening is caused by constant pressure on one part of the skull and is called positional plagiocephaly. Your baby can also develop a flat spot if he or she spends a long period of time in a car seat or a reclining seat (for example, a bouncy/vibrating chair, swing). Plagiocephaly does not affect how a baby’s brain develops, however it can affect a baby’s appearance by causing the head and face to develop unevenly. The good news is that you can prevent this quite easily. All you have to do is change your baby’s position often throughout the day and minimize the total amount of time that is spent in positioning devices that puts pressure on your baby’s head.

Here are a few tips:

• Have your baby sleep on his or her back but make sure your baby’s head is in a different position each time (turned to the right, turned to the left, straight ahead). You can try turning your baby’s head once they are asleep. Or try switching the end of the crib that you put your baby down in each night since babies prefer to look out towards the room or towards their parent. • Play with your baby on his or her tummy and sides 3-5 times per day. To keep your baby on his or her side to play, put a firm rolled up towel or blanket behind his or her back. • Change the position of mobiles or toys so that your baby is not always looking to the same side. • Hold, carry, and feed your baby on both sides. • Limit the amount of time your baby spends in a swing, bouncy seat, or car seat. Instead try positions that do not put pres-

sure on your baby’s head. For example, try using a carrier or having baby sit on your lap, on the floor surrounded by pillows, or highchair depending on your baby’s age. Talk to your doctor if you notice that your baby is always looking to one side, tilts his or her head to one side, or resists turning

Valérie Poirier Ch ild Youth & Family Public Health

Happy Families, Healthy Families

their head to one side. This could be caused by tight neck muscles called torticollis. If this is the case, your baby may need to see a physiotherapist for stretching and neck exercises. If left untreated, the neck tightness could cause the plagiocephaly to get worse.

But my baby hates tummy time!

Lots of “tummy time” while your baby is awake will help prevent plagiocephaly and also help your baby develop healthy upper body strength. Here are ways to help your baby learn to love playtime on their tummy: • Lay your baby on his or her tummy on your chest or your lap. • Put your baby on his or her tummy frequently during the day for short periods of time (like at every diaper change for a couple of minutes). Add a little extra time each day. • Give your baby interesting things to look at when they are on his or her tummy like bright toys, rattle or toy mirror. • Use a firm surface like a carpeted floor or play mat and give your baby support by placing a small rolled up towel under his or her chest. Prop your baby’s arms in front of the towel. • Try to keep the time on their tummy positive. If they protest, roll them off, smile and play, and then roll them back onto their tummies again. It takes time to build up

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their strength for them to really like tummy time. They will get there!

What if my baby already has a flat spot?

If your baby has a noticeable flat spot you may still be able to reshape it. Talk to your doctor, public health nurse, or physiotherapist about repositioning your baby when he or she is awake or during supervised naps. This is called counterpositioning. Counter-positioning is when you place your baby in a position that takes the pressure off of the flat spot so that your baby’s head can round out as he or she grows. This works best when your child is less than six months old because the skull is still soft and your baby is more likely to stay in one position. If your child is older than six months of age and has a severe flat spot and an uneven face, it might be possible to get some correction using a custom-fitted helmet or headband. This treatment works best if started around six months of age and must be started before 12 months of age since the bones of the head fuse and become harder as babies get older.

How do I counter-position my baby?

If your baby is not yet able to roll on their own, make sure you are in the room at all times while in this position whether baby is awake or asleep. • Place your baby ¼ turned from their back on the round side of their head. • Prepare a tight roll 3" in diameter made of two to three receiving blankets or a bath towel—you can use tape to keep its shape. The roll should be the length of your baby’s body. • Place the roll behind your baby’s back and head so that the shoulder is off the ground; the flattened area of the head should not be touching the ground. • If your baby is wriggling out of this position, a large beanbag can be placed in front of their tummy. Or you can wrap a second baby blanket tightly under their arms (arms and legs should be free), and tuck the ends under their tummy and under the roll. • Place toys so your baby has something interesting to look at.

Valérie Poirier is a Physiotherapy Clinical Lead in the Physiotherapy Department at the Queen Alexandra Centre for Children’s Health in Victoria. IslandParent.ca

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Island Parent Magazine

on’t dare brag about your child. Or tell someone they’re sleeping well. Better yet, don’t share with that other mom in the grocery store lineup that your child hasn’t started having tantrums yet. There seems to be an unwritten rule in the parenting world about these kinds of conversations. If you haven’t figured out why yet, you must keep reading. It’s rather unfortunate, there’s some kind of Guard of Parenting Humility (hanging out in the universe somewhere at a safe distance, but close enough) waiting for slip-ups like that. It loves to bite parents in the butt. I’ve been thinking about this because I’ve had a few bites before—ouch!—quite a few, actually, so far in my parenting career. Just when you think you have all the bases covered or you’ve mastered one of the many aspects of child wrangling, a malfunctioning behaviour, awful sleep pattern or a safety concern, something else will emerge. It happens all the time to the best of us. But why? What’s so wrong with bragging about a good day? Or saying you’re feeling rested. Or telling someone you’ve overcome Billy’s biting problem? Why can’t we be proud and positive without this kind of punishment? Can’t we just be happy? Apparently, not too happy. So what’s going on in the universe? I’m a firm believer in karma in general, and was even before I had children. According to Wikipedia, karma means action, work or deed. “It also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect). Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering.”

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But karma doesn’t quite fit the scenarios I’m referring to, unless you declared your child sleeps wonderful just out of spite to your over-tired friend and well, that’s just cruel. You deserve the bad karma you receive. What about Murphy’s Law? Essentially, it states: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong at the worst possible moment.” Makes sense especially when it comes to parenting, right? But that doesn’t quite fit either.

Ashley Degraaf Is There an App for This? Whatever the phenomenon is, I believe it’s simply the universe disciplining us parents in order to keep our egos in check. Also to remind us to be more humble. Maybe it’s also meant to be a lesson never to judge anyone else’s parenting style. And to remember that with children, “never a dull moment” as my dad always reminds me, is very true. I know any time I’ve ever had negative thoughts about another parent’s choice and especially if I’ve voiced them, it tends to backfire. However, I usually pick up on it. I recognize the moment and then, staring up to the Guard of Parenting Humility, smile and acknowledge I totally deserved that. Over the years, I’ve learned when I’m particularly happy about an accomplishment of ours, a milestone or good feeling, I will share that positivity without fear but usually with a disclaimer. It goes something a little like this: “Wow, I feel like I have so much energy today, both kids are sleeping better at night. Jack’s stopped having his nightmares. However, that could change any day.” I don’t jinx myself. I try not to get on my high horse. I knock on wood lots. But I also try not to sound like a Debbie Downer. There’s a fine line.

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Ashley Degraaf is a freelance writer based out of the Cowichan Valley. She enjoys channeling her inner momma while chronicling her daily adventures with her children.

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Now & Then

t’s interesting, being a dad. Most weekday mornings, I drop the kids off at school. As I walk through the halls, I take a minute to enjoy the serenity and excitement of 8:40 a.m. elementary school, and then as soon as the outside air hits my face, I instantly enter into work Our Academy Programs are the mode and start thinking of my day as I perfect combination of outdoor fun walk to my office. and professional instruction. From I often steal one look back at the school, private instruction to group camps, up at the windows where the kids’ days have our programs are tailor-made for already begun; I wonder what’s happened all-ages and abilities. after I’ve left, who’s having fun, who’s nervous. Then I turn around and am rushed Choose from golf, tennis, or cycling. into adulthood. Throughout the work day, my job is pretty busy and it takes most of my mental energy. B E A R M O U N TA I N . C A But the kids pop into my mind sometimes. And as I go through the unpredictable motions of a day in the life of a newspaper 2 5 0.74 4 . 2 3 2 7 | 1 9 9 9 C O U N T RY C L U B WAY, V I C TO R I A B C editor, juggling and jumping and generally enjoying the chaos, sometimes I think about my kids off at school and hope they’re enjoying themselves. It’s a strange feeling, at BMR_ACADEMY_ISLAND PARENT_2017 Camps.indd 1 2017-02-14 11:27 AM times, not having them beside me. Some days at my job, people get upset by things in the newspaper and I have to Island Parent is looking for articles for upcoming issues. Some of our deal with it. Sometimes I have to make best content comes from people just like you—Vancouver Island parents tough decisions about running stories. I who are passionate about their families and are dealing with the day to love it all, and sometimes I contrast the innocence of the kids at school with some day issues of raising children in our community. Share your experiences, of the significantly more grown-up situayour thoughts on a particular issue, your ideas on places to see or projtions that come up at work. From time to ects to do—anything related to parenting. time I imagine my kids when they’re older, Check our Writer’s Guidelines at islandparent.ca for specific information dealing with conflict at a job, and I wonon submissions. We’d love to hear from you. Please email submissions der if there’s the playground equivalency to editor@islandparent.ca. of “this person’s going to be upset with

Send Us Your Stories!

42 Island Parent Magazine

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me if we run this story” going on. If so, I have no idea how it’d play out, but I’d bet it’d probably have something to do with Shopkins or Superman. It’s hard and it stings a bit; you want to protect your kids, and being at work is a reminder that everything isn’t always pleasant as we get through our days as adults. But it’s also exciting. I start thinking about what my kids will do as they get older, what lines of work they’ll end up in, how they’ll spend their days. Will they need to be making decisions on the job and will I ever pop into their head as they do, with some wise words I imparted to them years ago that will guide them through the task at hand? That’s sort of the gut-churning end of this train of thought, usually, because it kinda scares me. I think most dads are a bit less confident than we’d like to admit when it comes to our parenting. The reality is none of us knows what we’re doing, everyone’s winging it, and, give or take, we’re all do-

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ing an okay job. We all just hope that, yes, the kids stop now and then to think of us when they’re adults, doing the things we’re doing now, and think, “You know, Dad did alright.” But for now, it’s enough to just enjoy that moment of elementary-school-hallway peace, that feeling of being proud of them for being off by themselves at school as they start to navigate the world without parents around. I hope that one day they’ll think of me as fondly as I think of them when I’m in non-parent mode, when I’m what at times feels like worlds away from them. And I hope that when I get home from work after being a world away, they’re still not grown up, which will be a relief. I’m challenged to a superhero fight by the boy and a game of checkers by the girl, and it’s time for me to Our put off adult life a little bit—for me and for them—and pick the best battles of my day.

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Nursing Strike

removing milk thoroughly, mom’s breasts will produce the milk that baby needs

baby who refuses to breastfeed and is not in the process of being weaned is said to be on a “nursing strike.” Nursing strikes comes on very suddenly after a baby has been happily nursing for some time. The strike can last anywhere from two to five days, or it can last longer. Sometimes parents can mistake a nursing strike as the baby wanting to self-wean. If you are not wanting or ready to wean your baby but your baby has started refusing to breastfeed, take heart. It can be an upsetting and confusing time, but with a bit of patience and detective work you can get breastfeeding back on track.

• Keep up milk supply while encouraging baby to nurse. Pump or express your milk by hand every few hours (about as often as baby had been nursing). This will prevent

• cold or stuffy nose which makes it difficult to breathe while nursing Milestone times, such as walking or crawling, and stressful times such as teething or illness can cause baby to be less interested in nursing. So can: • major disruption in baby’s nursing routine or schedule • teething baby who has bitten mom and been startled by her reaction A change of smell or taste can also affect a baby’s interest in nursing. Possible causes: • change in soap or other toiletry that causes you to smell different to your baby • a change in the taste of your milk, possibly caused by a vitamin supplement, medication or hormonal change like pregWhat causes a nursing strike? There can be many reasons for a nurs- nancy or period starting A big factor in a baby not nursing as ing strike. The baby could be experiencing pain or discomfort of some sort including: much is a reduced milk supply: • if milk supply is reduced, baby may • mouth pain from teething or infection become less interested in nursing, and desuch as thrush (yeast) or cold sore • ear infection which may cause pressure creased nursing will lead to an even lower milk supply or pain while nursing • as long as baby is nursing on cue and

44 Island Parent Magazine

What to do:

Diana Hurschler New Parent Pages plugged ducts and engorgement, and provide baby with milk he needs. If you are worried that your baby is not taking enough milk, keep track of wet diapers. Five to seven disposable; six to eight cloth diapers per day indicate baby is receiving enough. • Give baby lots of skin-to-skin contact (have a bath together), extra attention and physical contact and offer breast often. • Keep baby close in between nursing attempts (in a sling/carrier). • Keep routine as normal as possible during the strike.

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• Offer milk in a sippy cup, bottle, spoon, eyedropper or feeding syringe. Only use bottles to feed baby when separated from mom. Use a newborn-flow (slower flow) nipple to reduce the risk that baby will grow to prefer the fast flow of a bottle. Use a cup if a baby is older than six months. Eliminate or reduce pacifier use when with baby so that baby’s desire to suck encourages him to nurse more often. • Try nursing when baby is sleepy. • Visit doctor to rule out medical reasons.

Tips to avoid early weaning:

• Nurse in motion, sing, tell stories, play finger games, wear a bright teething necklace that holds their attention. • If you are phasing out the nighttime nursing, make a conscious effort to increase the daytime feeds. • Nurse in an environment free of distractions. Babies six to nine months old are very distractible, and may prefer to snack. If baby is given a bottle or sippy cup frequently, he will discover that he can crawl around with it and not miss a thing, whereas nursing generally requires keeping still and not looking around for a few minutes. For this reason, some babies

develop a preference for bottle or cup during this developmental stage, so avoid allowing baby to move around while drinking from bottles/sippy cups. These same babies may increase their night feedings to make up for their busy days. • If milk supply is an issue, try to avoid anything that would interfere with supply: scheduled feedings, pacifier overuse, sleep training. If mom is trying to lose weight but suddenly and drastically instead of gradually, mom’s calorie intake can result in decreased milk supply. Medications or herbs can also reduce milk supply (for example, hormonal contraceptives). Early introduction of solids (before six months), or rapid increase in solids/decreasing milk too quickly—can mean baby will be too full for milk. Generally, offer breastmilk first, then increase solid foods gradually to introduce new tastes and textures. Do not let solids become more important than breastmilk during the first year. Other liquids such as water or juice are not necessary. Our society tends to have the expectation that babies can and should become independent as quickly as possible—sleeping alone, sleeping through the night, potty training, and weaning. As a result, babies

are often pushed towards these milestones before they may be emotionally or physically ready. It is important to understand the difference between self-weaning and a temporary developmental stage, so that moms can make an informed decision about how to move forward. It is easy to think that a nursing strike is a baby self-weaning but it is uncommon that a baby under a year old who has been successfully breastfeeding is ready to give up nursing. A baby who is self-weaning is typically well over a year old. They get most of their nutritional requirements from solid foods, they can drink well from a cup and they cut down on nursing gradually. Weaning led by the child occurs when they no longer have a need to nurse, either nutritionally or emotionally. A nursing strike can be upsetting for your baby as well as you. With patience and persistence, you should be able get back to your breastfeeding routine.

Diana Hurschler, RN BscN, childbirth educator, certified breastfeeding counselor, has been helping families in their childbearing years and beyond since 1998. Diana is the proud mama of four little ones. Email diana@hurschler.com.

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May 2017 45

Family Services Directory

Community Options for Children and Families offers recreational support groups for Children and Youth age 6-18 who have a brother or sister with a disability. The Sibshop Program allows children and youth to connect with peers who understand what This directory, sponsored by Thrifty Foods, features not for profit it is like to be a Sib. Sibkids (age 6-12) and Sibteens agencies and organizations serving children, youth and families. (age 13-18) are play and activity based designed to provide opportunity for participants to share in a comfortable and safe environment. For further 1Up, Victoria Single Parent Resource Centre (1- help finding a job? Need employees? Contact us info call 250-380-6363 or communityoptions.bc.ca. up.ca) provides support, education and resources for FREE assistance! 9860 Third St. Sidney. 250for parents in the Greater Victoria area through 656-0134. beaconcs.ca. End Dyslexia. Does your child have trouble reading free counselling, volunteer training, a mentoring or is behind in reading? Is your child bright, but is program for single moms, and a support group for Boys & Girls Club Services offer after-school not learning as quickly as you would like? Get ready dads, as well as a variety of integrated life skills and evening social, educational and recreational for September now with Summer Reading Camps and parenting courses which are open to the whole programming for children and youth at 5 locations from the convenience of your own home! Use community, with fees on a sliding scale. For single (Colwood, Langford, VicWest, Central Saanich and research-based programs with fast, lasting results parent members, the Centre provides free toys and Esquimalt) and summer camps both in Esquimalt while working with award-winning speech-language books, a clothing room and bread pantry. Donations and at our Outdoor Centre in Metchosin. We also of- pathologist, Marlene Lewis, who brings many years of gently-used clothing, small household items, and fer support to parents through our Parents Together of experience and proven results in improving readtoys are welcome. Hours: Mon., Tue., Thu., Fri.: 9–4, program and parent workshops. For more informa- ing for children, teens and adults. To learn more & Wednesdays: 12–7. Location: 602 Gorge Road tion on all programs and services visit bgcvic.org or please visit end-dyslexia.com or call 250-474-6368. East. Phone: 250-385-1114. call 250-384-9133. Family Services of Greater Victoria (formerly BC Beacon Community Services is a community- Canucks Autism Network (CAN) provides high- Families in Transition) is a non profit agency that has based, non-profit agency dedicated to helping quality, adapted sports, recreational and social been serving families since 1978. We provide a full people and improving lives on southern Vancouver programs for kids, teens and young adults living range of services to the whole family in supportIsland and the southern Gulf Islands. Beacon thrift with autism on Vancouver Island. Shawnigan Lake: ing their relationship and through separation and shops fund important LOCAL community services Multisport day camp, bike clinics and family camp. divorce. Counseling, mediation, legal information and programs. Beacon also offers: child, youth and Victoria: Swim, soccer, skate and physical literacy. and a range of group programs are available for family services (including the Peninsula Early Years Nanaimo: Swim and physical literacy. Family events children, youth and adults on a sliding fee scale. Call Centre and child care); counselling; employment take place throughout the year! Become a member us at 250-386-4331 or visit fsgv.org. We can help. services and training for people of all ages; home for only $25/year at canucksautism.ca/join. Call support care; volunteer services and opportunities; 604-685-4049, email info@canucksautism.ca or HappyBaby Sleep Solutions helps families creaffordable housing/care/supports for seniors and visit canucksautism.ca/VancouverIsland for more ate healthy sleep habits in babies and children so people with disabilities. For Home Support, please information. everyone is well rested and happy. Sukkie Sandhu, call 250-658-6407. For other programs: 250-656M.Ed., has worked with hundreds of families locally 0134. beaconcs.ca. CHOICES Adoption & Counselling is a licensed, in Victoria and worldwide. Sukkie is a Registered professional, non-profit agency that provides Clinical Counsellor so the cost of a sleep consultaBeacon Community Services Employment services to adoptive parents, birth-parents, and tion may be covered under your extended medical Programs. Beacon Community Services offers a adoptees. CHOICES arranges adoptions domesti- plan. For more information visit happybabysleepfull menu of employment services on the Saanich cally and internationally. We are committed to pro- solutions.com or call 250-857-1408 for a FREE Peninsula and Gulf Islands. We’ve been helping viding a comprehensive, client-centered adoption evaluation. Let’s get started! people find work since 1982! Our programs build on service which best meets the needs of everyone a person’s strengths and resolve barriers to finding in the adoption constellation. Please contact us at HeadWay Victoria Epilepsy & Parkinson’s Centre and keeping employment. We also work with our choices@choicesadoption.ca, or call 250-479-9811 supports families living with seizures by offering employer network to support job seekers. Need for further information. parent workshops three times a year, educational

46 Island Parent Magazine

IslandParent.ca

presentations in schools and community groups as well as providing tutoring sessions and one-to-one professional consultations to help your child live up to their highest potential. Keep up to date with the latest research about treatments, lifestyle, and safety issues for your child. We can be reached at headwayvictoria.com, or you can reach the Epilepsy Program Coordinator directly at 250-475-6677. Inter-Cultural Association of Greater Victoria (ICA) is a registered charity and nonprofit helping individuals and organizations to connect across cultures. Programs offered include immigrant and refugee services, parenting programs, employment services, interpretation and translation, diversity workshops and training, English language training, volunteer placements, youth programs and tutoring, seniors groups, and inter-cultural arts programming. Located at 930 Balmoral Road, 250-388-4728 info@ icavictoria.org, icavictoria.org. LDABC The Learning Curve (previously The Learning Disabilities Assn.) supports, educates and advocates for children with learning disabilities and related challenges. Individual and group support, education and consultation is available for children, youth, parents, caregivers and professionals. Please visit our website @ ldasvi.bc.ca or call us for more information or to book an appointment: 250 370 9513. Power To Be inspires people living with barriers or disabilities to explore their limitless abilities through inclusive adventures rooted in nature. With programs for children, youth and adults, year-round adventures include kayaking, canoeing, camping, hiking and more. Visit powertobe.ca or call 250385-2363 to learn more. Sooke-West Shore Early Years Centres provide information to families about children and family services, supports, child development and parenting. The Early Years Navigator will assist families with referral information for local early years programming, child care, public health, special needs intervention services, and social supports. The Sooke-West Shore Early Years Centres are hosted by Sooke Family Resource Society and located at the Child, Youth, and Family Centres in both Sooke and the West Shore and can be reached at 250217-9243. Additional information can be accessed at sfrs.ca/early-years-centre. Victoria Immigrant and Refugee Centre Society (VIRCS) supports immigrants and refugees living in Greater Victoria. Services are free and include oneon-one counselling, parent education workshops, youth life skills classes, a preschool program, art therapy, language classes and academic support, employment help, computer classes and fun community events like free yoga, tai chi, dance and cooking classes. Visit us online at vircs.bc.ca or phone 250-361-9433. IslandParent.ca

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May 2017 47

PresCHool & CHIlD Care Directory Central saanICH

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Chrysalis Child Care ...............................250-652-0815 A nurturing and stimulating environment for a small group of 21⁄2–5 year old children . Qualified ECE promotes learning through play . chrysalischildcare .ca .

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Licenced group childcare for children ages 12 months to 5 years old. Open 6:30am-5:30pm. leap forward dance school offers weekday and Saturday dance classes for children ages 2 and up. 2758 Peatt Road, Langford

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Miles of Smiles Nature Junior Kindergarten .......................................... 778-265-4374 Come See Why learning In Nature Rocks! Reggio Inﬂuenced Philosophy ages 3-5 . have Your Child Become a Nature Detective today! Email mosnjk@hotmail .com .

CorDova BaY Carrot Seed Preschool ............................250-658-2331 Where children can discover, imagine, construct and learn through play . Wondrous natural playground . carrotseedpreschool .com . Cordova Bay Preschool........................... 250-658-3441 A bright and cheerful parent participation preschool with a philosophy of learning through play . 4 yr olds - m/W/F 9:151:15; 3 yr olds - t/th 9:15-12:15 . cordovabaypreschool .org .

esQuImalt Ciara Early Childhood Centre ..................250-386-7369 Education and Fun hand in hand! Exceptional care for ages 1-5yrs . Inclusive nature inspired kindergarten readiness program with Christian values . Facebook .com/ CiaraEarlyChildhoodCentre . Island Kids Academy Esquimalt ..............250-381-2929 high quality child care (ages 1-5) . Enriched Curriculum Includes music Classes and Character Development using the Virtues Project . Part -time spaces available . Islandkids .ca . La Pré-Maternelle Appletree Preschool .....250-479-0292 A French Immersion Program. 30 months to school age . licensed Christian centre . prematernelleappletree .com .

Child Care

Resource & Referral vancouverislandccrr.ca ccrr.bc.ca 48

Island Parent Magazine

Only seconds past luxurious Bear Mountain our highly respected outdoor program will not disappoint! Our “Nurture through Nature” facility is rooted from the Reggio-Emilia philosophies, allowing the children to use their environment as the “third teacher.” Located on 2 acres of forest land, your child will learn and grow in a natural surrounding of tress and wildlife! Newly expanded, we NOW have more spaces available for your Infant/ Toddlers and Pre-Kindergarten aged children. We use the trees from our own property to build the furniture and some of the toys in all three centres. The children enjoy yoga, music, Spanish, signlanguage and an outdoor classroom. In 2016, Lexie Biegun won the BC Provincial Gov’t award of Excellence for Child Care Providers. Please visit our Facebook page for current info and pics.

lexieslittlebears.ca

250-590-3603 Cub House waitlist: 778-432-3600

metCHosIn West-Mont Montessori School ................250-474-2626 Exceptional preschool montessori instruction in a beautiful natural environment . Ages 30 months and up . Providing a balanced approach to incorporating French, music, Art and Nature . Stop by and experience what it is like to be part of a community devoted to the development of the whole child . open house: thursdays 9-11 am . west-mont .ca .

• Half day and Full day Preschool Programs • Children’s learning is nurtured and supported through exploration, discovery, play and creative expression 3905 Haro Road, Victoria BC

250-477-3731 arbutusgrove.ca Camosun College Child Care Services........250-370-4880 Quality licensed facilities on both campuses providing children, newborn to 5 years, with rich early learning experiences in a learn through play environment . camosun .ca/childcare . Full o’ Beans Preschool .............................. 250-360-1148 We offer ‘learn through play’ programming designed to foster your child’s natural curiosity and imagination . Flexible scheduling, 2 .5 and 4 hour programs, qualified staff . Registration is ongoing! saanichneighbourhoodplace .com . Island Montessori House ....................250-592-4411 Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool and After School Care programs . lovely rural setting with a focus on nature and outdoor environmental activities . islandmontessori .com . Lambrick Park Preschool & Childcare....... 250-477-8131 Gordon head’s parent-participation preschool and childcare center . Flexible hours m-F 9am-3pm & drop-ins offered . Play based learning and outdoor play . Allergy friendly . Celebrating 40 years . lambrickparkpreschool .ca .

nortH saanICH In The Garden Childcare Centre ............. 250-654-0306 A GREAt PlACE to GRoW . offering preschool, full day care, before and after school care for children aged 2 .5 to 12 years old . open all year . Now offering Infant and toddler Care .

oaK BaY Emmanuel Preschool ............................. 250-598-0573 Children learn through play in our non-denominational Christian preschool near uVic . Bright attractive setting . emmanuelpreschool .ca . Gonzales Co-op Preschool ...................... 250-727-1003 An imaginative Reggio Emilia inspired learning-through-Play community that focuses on nature, music, and arts . gonzalescooppreschool .com . Recreation Oak Bay ................................250-370-7200 Fully licensed, ECE Daycare, Preschool and Nature Preschool . Play based, child led learning . Afterschool care available .

The Society of St. Vincent de Paul has opened a brand new licensed child care facility in Royal Oak at 4353 West Saanich Road. We currently have openings in our over 36 months program operating Monday to Friday. For more information call 250-727-0007 and ask for Maureen Hall, Manager or email us at info@svdpvictoria.com

Looking for child care? Need help with subsidy forms? Taking care of children? Need child care training? Your community’s best source of child care information and resources. Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 Sooke: 250-642-5152 Westshore: 250-391-4324 Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 PaciﬁcCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273 Funded by the Province of Bc

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Montessori Educare.................................250-881-8666 Beautiful learning environment in Broadmead and Saanichton. 30 months to 5 years. All year round. montessorieducare@shaw.ca. montessorieducare.com.

Licenced group childcare for children ages 1 to 12 years old

Neighbourhood Junior Kindergarten....... 250-479-4410 Welcoming, culturally sensitive parent participation program in Lakehill School. Morning and afternoon. For 3s and 4s. See website for details. neighbourhood juniorkindergarten.com

Open 6:30am–5:30pm

Oakcrest Preschool................................ 250-472-0668 A welcoming, nurturing environment with a large, bright facility. Learn through play with 2 caring ECEs. oakcrestpreschool.org.

Pre-School Junior Kindergarten PaciﬁcChristian.ca 250-479-4532 Educational Excellence to the Glory of God Rainbows & Dreams Preschool................ 250-479-1966 Small classes for 3-5 yr olds in a safe nurturing environment. Children learn through play and fun–developing a sense of confidence, independence and creativity. Highly qualified ECE teacher. Ready Set Grow Preschool....................... 250-472-1530 Inside Hillcrest Elm. in Gordon Head, we help children transition to Kindergarten. Licensed Preschool with highly qualified, warm ECE. heoscmanager@gmail.com. St. Joseph’s Catholic Preschool................... 250-479-1237 • A Christian child centre for 3–5 year olds. • A warm nurturing and challenging program • Offered by St. Joseph’s Catholic School. Wiseways Preschool & Daycare................ 250-477-1312 Quality, fully licensed, Christian preschool/daycare for 3–4 year olds. Experienced team of ECEs. Spacious facilities include large playground and indoor gym. Subsidized fees welcome. Call for a tour. wisewaysvictoria.com.

SIDNEY Positive Path Early Learning....................250-655-7244 Located near the library and Sidney School, our program has earned a stellar reputation for quality child care and is growing as fast as the children we care for. Space is available for your child to embark on a journey of active exploration and discovery, enjoying a natural outdoor playground and an expansive indoor learning space. Experienced educators foster a lifelong quest for knowledge and guide children with Christian values and virtues. positivepath@shaw.ca. Storyoga Preschool................................. 778-679-4004 Embracing and empowering children exactly as they are. Storyoga Preschool is a nature and yoga based program located in Sidney, BC. storyoga.com.

VICTORIA

v Comprehensive programs for Preschool through Grade 8 v Delivering academic excellence through music, dance, drama and visual arts v Outstanding educators, locations and facilities

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533

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Offering Before & After school care for Vic West Elementary School

babiestobigkids.com 250-590-2722 info@babiestobigkids.com

949 Fullerton Ave

Castleview Child Care............................. 250-595-5355 Learning Through Play & Discovery. Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958. Morning or full-time care. castleviewchildcarecentre.com. Centennial Day Care............................... 250-386-6832 Exceptional childcare and education 35+ years. Nature inspired, play based program. NEW central, “green” building. centennialdaycare.ca. Christ Church Cathedral Childcare and Junior Kindergarten.......................... 250-383-5132 ECE and Specialist teachers provide an outstanding all-day, licensed program for 3–5 year olds. Spacious, renovated facility with a huge backyard in Fairfield. cathedralschool.ca. Little Paws Preschool...............................250-384-3211 A program designed to enhance children’s creativity, interdependence, independence and to expand self-expression. Website: vnfc.ca.

View Royal Preschool..............................250-479-8067 Exciting inclusive program in a safe and exceptional care environment. 3-5 year olds. Outside play and themes enrich this program. Full/part-time spaces available. viewroyalpreschool.com.

DUNCAN International Montessori Academy of Canada................................................. 250-737-1119 Offers an enriching environment for preschool children 2-4.9 years with potty training. Nurturing young minds, keeping the spirit free. intmontessori.ca. Parkside Academy..................................... 250-746-1711 Providing high quality early learning and care from infancy to 12 years of age, in a stimulating, respectful, nurturing, nature based environment with fully educated and passionate early childhood educators. Visit parksideacademy.ca or find us on Facebook. Queen Margaret’s School.......................... 250-746-4185 Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed nurturing curriculum to develop the whole child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. qms.bc.ca. Queen of Angels Early Learning Centre...... 250-701-0433 We believe that the development of the whole child (physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually) encourages each individual to develop to their full potential. We offer an enriched full day program for 3–5 year olds based on Kindergarten readiness.

Nightingale Preschool and Junior Kindergarten Ltd....................250-595-7544 We offer education through creativity and play, providing rich learning experiences through a well sourced and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com. Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca.

Sunrise Waldorf School Preschool..............250-743-7253 In a warm environment, this nature and play-based program enlivens and nurtures the growing child. sunrisewaldorfschool.org.

Rainbow Express Daycare....................... 250-382-2314 A nurturing environment for children to learn through play and discovery in a natural setting. ECEs and specialist teachers. rainbowexpressdaycare.com. Close to city centre.

St. Joseph’s Preschool..............................250-246-3191 An enriching preschool program allowing children to grow as individuals in a safe and nurturing Christian environment.

Chemainus

Nanaimo

Positive and supportive program motivating children to learn, discover and grow through play. Kindness Curriculum, Jolly Phonics and Active Outdoor Play!

250-383-7445 rossbaypreschool@shaw.ca The Sir James Douglas Playschool.......... 250-389-0500 Fun, creative and educational ECE program for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life long skills. Come play and learn in our bright and modern centre in Fairfield. Victoria Montessori................................ 250-380-0534 Unique, innovative learning environment combining the best of Montessori and Learning Through Play. Open yr. round. 30mths–K. victoriamontessori.com.

VIEW ROYAL Island Kids Academy View Royal.............250-727-2929 High quality child care (ages 1-5). Preschool curriculum offered within a warm, caring child care environment. Character development using the Virtues Project. Access to community programs including swimming, skating, Victoria Conservatory of Music. Part-time spaces available. islandkids.ca. View Royal Childcare...............................250-479-8067 Preschool structured, high quality childcare. Victoria Conservatory of Music classes. Part time spaces available. 2.5-5year olds. viewroyalpreschool@live.com.

Aspengrove School.................................. 250-618-2201 Aspengrove School in Nanaimo, an independent school offering Junior Kindergarten for 3 & 4 year olds. Play-based learning, rooted in the same International Baccalaureate (IB) curriculum taught in our Kindergarten-Grade 12 classes.

Qualicum Beach Children’s Discovery Centre.....................250-752-4343 Our program recognizes the uniqueness of each child and provides a nurturing, safe and creative learning environment. Licensed preschool, group care and out of school care. Early Childhood Educators. childrensdiscovery centre.ca. childrensdiscoverycentre@hotmail.com. Little Star Children’s Centre.....................250-752-4554 Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth friendly preschool education inspired by nature. Infused with fun and creative daily yoga practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca

Port Alberni John Paul II Catholic School.....................250-723-0637 “Where children grow and learn through play.” We provide a program that will inspire development physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively, creatively and spiritually.

May 2017 49

unless he was mobile. That flight went a little less well. Those first couple years of parenthood I still felt embarrassed when Angus cried in public, as if I wasn’t doing my job properly. As if there was something I could do to enforce excellent behaviour on my tod-

Kids on a Plane

got rid of my Facebook account a couple years ago. It was a healthy decision, since whenever I logged on I would find myself flipping through vacation snapshots of people I hadn’t spoken to in years or reading about exceptionally gifted children. It is phenomenal how much time one can waste perusing illustrated reports of other people’s remarkable offspring and I was proud of myself for signing out for good. Unfortunately it wasn’t really for good. Mike still has an account and of course I know his password. These days luckily I have a bit more restraint. I try to limit my browsing to Saturday Night Live sketches and Trump articles, but sometimes other things slip through and I end up stewing about some “friend’s” opinionated post. Last week the one that got under my skin was about kids on airplanes. Specifically, it was a friend of Mike’s complaining about how loud his trip

to Denver was because there were babies on the plane. And then a dozen others chiming in with their sympathetic comments: “The problem is parents do not control their kids,” “it’s the mom just sitting there,” “my parents would never have allowed me to…” “if you foresee they will be a behaviour problem, just don’t bring them.” Multiple likes for all of these, my own fingers itching to employ Mike’s “angry” emoticon. We have flown with Angus twice. When he was just over a year, we flew to London. It was a red-eye on the way there, and Angus spent the entire flight either sleeping or breastfeeding. He cried a little on descent, but still when the old couple in front of us debarked they congratulated us on our well-behaved baby. We were winning at international travel! One month later for our return flight, Angus and I both had raging sinus infections. Worse, he had learned to walk and was thoroughly discontented

Laura Trunkey Maternity & Beyond dler who was locked up with hundreds of strangers against his will, exhausted, ears popping, throat dry, seemingly too hot and too cold at once. I thought those parents who made goody bags for their fellow passengers of earplugs, candy and a pre-emptive apology notes were brilliant. If only I had the foresight! It somehow made sense to me that I was not only responsible for the happiness of my child, but the contentment of everyone else within earshot. We flew again with Angus just a couple months ago. Angus is almost six and by

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50 Island Parent Magazine

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outward appearances he is old enough to be reasoned with and to be quiet when he’s told to be. But he’s also a kid with autism who needs to wear noise-cancelling headphones when I run the vacuum, and often grips the handles of his booster seat when the car goes around a curve. Think of the sound of your vacuum. Then think of the sound of an airplane. Imagine your car turning a curve, then imagine the 18-seater Beechcraft between Calgary and Lethbridge that feels like a 20-minute roller coaster ride. That Angus only screamed for seven minutes of that final leg was a miracle. But believe me, the childless people on that flight had it better than I did. They could close their eyes and put on their noise-cancelling headphones, while I had a kid screaming into my ear while ripping at his favourite security blanket—my hair. The other passengers might have been uncomfortable, but I was nauseous with worry for my son. And not a one received a goodie bag with a little note explaining that my child is autistic. Because they didn’t need to know. Because babies cry, toddlers wiggle and sometimes older kids have other things going on that aren’t readily apparent. None of this suggests bad parenting. If someone needs earplugs and candy in order to fly in the proximately of children, they should bring their own. We parents have enough crammed into our carry-ons as it is.

Laura Trunkey is mother to the amazing Angus and the author of a forthcoming short fiction collection from House of Anansi. Email laurajtrunkey@gmail.com.

Abra-Kid-Abra.................... 21 Arbutus Grove.................. IFC Artistic Statement............. 40 Babies to Big Kids.............. 41 Ballet Victoria............... 15, 33 Bear Mountain...................42 Brown Henderson Melbye...........................43 Bumble & Hive...................43 Burnside Gorge Community Centre........37 Camp Pringle.......................8 Camp Qwanoes................ BC Canadian Forces Sailing Association.................... 21 Child Care Resource & Referral...................... 50 Christ Church Cathedral.... 19 City Centre Park..................17 Coastal Adventures...........33

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Freshwater Fun

ne, two, three…splash! The first plunge of the season takes great courage. Cool water and fresh air, followed by warm sun, makes you feel amazing! My family is always so much calmer after exploring one of our freshwater playgrounds. If I had to pick a favourite body of water, it might be a crystal clear lake nestled in the mountains. But not all lakes are clear or by the mountains. Despite the Mediterraneanlike climate, our capital region has many bodies of water in all shapes and sizes, each with its unique character and history: • Elk/Beaver Lake Regional Park is a popular spot and is many visitors’ first impression of Victoria as they admire the sparkling water from the Pat Bay Highway. It is a recreational haven with easy access for paddle sports and swimming. • Durrance Lake, in Mount Work Regional Park, has clear water that is stocked with rainbow trout great for fishing, and little beaches scattered along the shore that are perfect for a picnic. • Thetis Lake Regional Park, with its gradual sloping beach, is great for children and has lots of parking, making it ideal for larger groups. • Matheson Lake Regional Park is a jewel that’s off the beaten track. It has a cozy beach that’s perfect for children, with an island to swim to. There are many other less well-known freshwater hangouts to explore, like Killarney and Pease, to name a few. We are not the only creatures who gather at fresh water; it is a requirement for a diverse community of plants and animals, too. These rich habitats provide a wonderful

52 Island Parent Magazine

opportunity to bathe in nature. Amazing discoveries happen when children explore the waters’ edge as they come face-to-face with a dragonfly in flight, or if they are lucky, encounter a rough-skinned newt. If you have spent time around freshwater, then you probably have encountered newts. Rough-skinned newts could be considered the unofficial mascot of our moist forests and freshwater habitat. They are the most common and widespread amphibian in our region, found crawling around during the day on land, and swimming in the shallows, making them pretty hard to miss.

touch. That said, it is best to enjoy them with your eyes only, as we can inadvertently make them sick with our germs or sunscreen-slick hands.

Katie Turner Nature Notes

Dragonflies zig zag across freshwater beating their wings at speeds of up to 100 kilometres-an-hour. You will hear them before you see them, and you might even become a landing spot for one of these giant insects. Keep in mind that dragonflies do not have stingers, and therefore cannot sting. They do have a mouth and can bite their prey, but won’t bite humans. These fast flying acrobatic insects are airborne briefly as adults, because most of their life is spent deep in freshwater. We have many suitable habitats in our region, so from May until the end of summer, we are surrounded by these shimmering bejewelled dragons of the pond. Our freshwater is important for recreation, scenery, habitat, and water supply—we can’t live without it. If you want a close-up view of a rough-skinned newt, visit the Frances/King Regional Park Nature Centre on Saturdays and Sundays from noon to 4 p.m. You can also join a nature outing this summer to catch dragonflies flit, watch turtles bask, see herons hunt and encounter other creatures that depend on One of the reasons newts are active dur- healthy fresh water habitats in our CRD ing daylight hours is that they are protected Regional Parks system. Visit crd.bc.ca/ from predators by their highly poisonous parks-events for the calendar of events. skin. Newts have the most potent skin toxin of any amphibian in North America. Yikes! Katie Turner is a park interpreter with the Capital Don’t worry, though, they are harmless to Regional District.

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May 2017â&#x20AC;&#x192; 53

Take Turns Communicating

e have all had the experience of being in a conversation where we are dying to be heard, but neither we nor the other person listens. We have something to say which we consider very important. While the other person is speaking, we are waiting impatiently, rehearsing what

we are going to say so that we don’t forget it, and reacting emotionally to parts of what the other person says. When we get our turn to speak, we are not heard because the other person is doing the same thing that we are. So

we end up in a repetitive conversation, where both members speak but no one listens. If this looks familiar, you might want to Cut It Out! There are three components to effective communication: listening, speaking and taking turns. When we really want to be heard, what we are asking for is that the other person really understands what we are saying. This can only happen if they know how. In order to get your need met, you may have to say, “I would like you to tell me what you are hearing me say.” If the person is willing, they might need to attempt to understand you several times. Much of the time on the first round of listening, we don’t actually hear what the other person is saying. Instead we tend to hear what is on our mind. If we are feeling insecure, we hear a put down. If we are feeling worried, we hear what we fear. If we are excited, we hear what we want to hear. While this may be a bit of work, it is worth it. Understanding, connection, empathy and

respect are needs that we all share and are important parts of healthy relationships. In order to get these needs met, you have to take full responsibility for this happening. Giving up only leads to failed relationships.

Allison Rees Cut It Out! Speaker and Listener Exchange Places When:

• The speaker feels s/he has been heard and understood • The speaker has finished what s/he has to say • The speaker can no longer formulate his/ her thoughts • The speaker wants to hear the other person’s viewpoint • The listener’s own thoughts or feelings are making him/her unable to listen.

LIFE Seminars has two books available, Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. See lifeseminars.com.

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54 Island Parent Magazine

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