Cultivating Creativity
The Family Favourite results are in! Who has the best products, services and experiences? We asked and you answered. Developed to recognize quality family retailers and service providers in our community. Our readers were invited to vote online at westcoastfamilies.com for their family favourites in 35 categories. The response was phenomenal! Thank you to everyone who voted and sent us such wonderful feedback. We have tallied your votes—here are your 2024 WestCoast Families Family Favourites!
Family Favourites Favourite Outing
LIVE SPORTING EVENT
Winner: BC Lions Football
Runners Up: Vancouver Canucks, Vancouver Whitecaps
CAMPGROUND
Winner: Golden Ears
Runners Up: Cultus Lake, Manning Park
ATTRACTION
Winner: Playland/PNE
Runners Up: Vancouver Aquarium, Science World
FAMILY GETAWAY
Winner: Harrison Hot Springs
Runners Up: Whistler, Manning Park
HIKE
Winner: Grouse Grind
Runners Up: Golden Ears, Lynn Canyon Suspension Bridge
PLAYGROUND
Winner: Terra Nova
Runners Up: Douglas Park, Rainbow Park
PARK
Winner: Stanley Park
Runners Up: Capilano Suspension Bridge Park, Terra Nova
BEACH
Winner: Centennial Beach
Runners Up: Crescent Beach, Jericho Beach
Favourite Retail Store
CHILDREN’S CLOTHING
Winner: Beansprouts
Runners Up: Petit Villain, Children’s Place
BABY
Winner: Beansprouts
Runners Up: Steveston Maternity, Active Baby (Langley)
TOYS
Winner: Granville Island Kids Market
Runners Up: Splash, Dilly Dally
CONSIGNMENT
Winner: Beansprouts
Runners Up: Once Upon a Child, Mine and Yours
FARMERS MARKET
Winner: Trout Lake Park
Runners Up: Langley, New Westminster
BOOKS
Winner: Humpty Dumpty Books
Runners Up: Black Bond Books, Bookman
PET STORE
Winner: Tisol Arbutus
Runners Up: Bone and Biscuit, Pet Food N’ More
GARDEN CENTRE
Winner: Triple Tree
Runners Up: Figaro’s, Wing Wong Farms
BICYCLE SHOP
Winner: R.A.D. Cycle
Runners Up: Bicycle Sport Pacific, Granville Island Bike Shop
Favourite Children , s...
PRESCHOOL/CHILDCARE
Winner: Music Works
Runners Up: Monkey Tree Montessori, Little Paws Outdoor Classroom
ARTS OR THEATRE PROGRAM
Winner: Chorus & Clouds
Runners Up: Arts Umbrella, Place Des Arts
BIRTHDAY PARTY LOCATION
Winner: Chorus & Clouds
Runners Up: Crash Crawley, Go Bananas
SUMMER CAMP
Winner: Camp Qwanoes
Runners Up: Steamoji, Timberline
OVERNIGHT CAMP
Winner: Sasamat Outdoor Centre
Runners Up: Camp Elphinstone, Camp Luther
RECREATION CENTRE
Winner: Hillcrest Community Centre
Runners Up: Guildford Rec Centre, Maple Ridge Rec Centre
Favourite Personal Service
ESTHETIC SALON
Winner: Vivid
Runners Up: Wild Orange, Spa Utopia
OPTOMETRIST
Winner: Westwood Eye Doctors
Runners Up: New West Optometry, Insight Optometry
ORTHODONTICS
Winner: Maple Ridge Dentistry for Kids
Runners Up: Broadway Dental, North Shore Orthodontics
HAIR
Winner: Trims 4 Tots
Runners Up: Heartbreaker Salon, On the Fringe
DAY SPA
Winner: Spa Utopia
Runner Up: Wild Orange
DENTIST
Winner: Smile Town Burnaby
Runners Up: AARM Dental, Broadway Dental
PHYSIOTHERAPIST
Winner: Metrotown Physio
Runners Up: Trinity Physiotherapy, HealthOne
Favourite Food Service
FOOD TRUCK
Winner: Taco Fino
Runners Up: Mom’s Grilled Cheese, Shameless Buns
ICE CREAM SHOP
Winner: Rocky Point Ice Cream
Runners Up: Earnest Ice Cream, Rain or Shine
HAMBURGERS
Winner: Fatburger
Runners Up: 5 Guys Burgers and Fries, Meet on Main
PIZZA
Winner: San Remo
Runners Up: Pomodoro, AJ’s Brooklyn Pizza Joint
FOOD PREP SERVICE
Winner: Fresh Prep
Runner Up: Hello Fresh
Vol 32, Ed 2
Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@westcoastfamilies.com
Stacie Gaetz Editor editor@westcoastfamilies.com
RaeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager raeleigh@westcoastfamilies.com
Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@westcoastfamilies.com
On the Cover Amy Shaw Photography amyshawphotography.com
WestCoast Families, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a bimonthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on resources and businesses for west coast families. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher.
For distribution inquiries, please email publisher@westcoastfamilies.com
Mailing Address 518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5 250 388 6905 A proud member of BC
WestCoastFamilies.com
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Fall Into Creativity
The world of a parent is often split up into very specific seasons:
• Winter means decorating for the holidays, entertaining family and Christmas shopping.
• Spring requires registering for summer camp, driving to sports and tying up loose ends before school is out.
• Summer is part camp, part camping, part “when the heck do these kids go back to school?!”
• Fall is probably the most clearly defined season for caregivers. It’s all about “back-to-school.” Early bedtimes, packing lunches and helping with homework.
However, autumn doesn’t have to be all academic. It is also one of the most colourful seasons we experience in BC, and it lends itself to creativity, imagination and selfexpression.
Back-to-school brings with it a certain expectation of “getting back to work” but there are ways to incorporate creativity and imagination into all parts of your life this season.
Reinvigorate a room in your house, like the playroom or
office, so it inspires innovation and originality. Get creative in where you explore this fall. Research a new area to hike in, take the dog a different way for your daily walk, go autumn camping, discover a playground you have never explored before. While you are outside, challenge your kids to find leaves that are every colour of the rainbow and then create a gorgeous collage (and hang it in your revamped room!).
Not all creativity or art can be found on a canvas; listen to some new music; dance like no one is watching; start a journal; write, direct, act in and film a play. Learn a new skill, make your own videogame, bake a cheesecake—try something new!
Although fall is traditionally seen as the time to hunker down and learn, we say there is no reason you can’t find new, creative, inventive, imaginative and extraordinary ways to do so.
– Stacie Gaetz
Howlover Canada
Take an unforgettable, spooky Halloween journey at Flyover Canada at Canada Place from October 3 to October 31. Join Biker Mama and her ghoulish friends on this epic, chilling adventure. Buy your tickets online, and make sure you ask about the BC resident discount.
flyovercanada.com
Community Tree Planting
Get your family outdoors and give back to nature this fall by planting trees. Help grow Surrey’s urban forests and meet up with the community at various parks and areas this fall. Everyone is welcome, all events are on a drop-in basis and training and tools are provided
surrey.ca
Cineplex Family Favourites
Head to your local Cineplex theatre on Saturdays for a new family friendly movie each week. Tickets for these showings are only $3.99 per person, so it’s an inexpensive way for the whole family to be entertained on a rainy day and leaves plenty of money in your wallet for some popcorn and candy.
cineplex.com
Science BC Fall Classes
Perfect for homeschooling families, teachers who want to supplement their science units or students in grades 5 through 10 who want to delve deeper into all aspects of science, Science BC has just released their full calendar of fall programs. These live, online classes spark interest and make science come alive.
sciencebc.ca
Zero Latency
Already the biggest VR experience in Vancouver, Zero Latency now has a location in Langley! Book your free-roam immersive Virtual Reality gaming experience for your family, friends, staff or as a birthday party. Already offering a large variety of games and VR experiences, watch for new ones coming this fall.
zerolatencybc.com
Fresh Finds
The rainy, cool, fall season is here! Be prepared with cozy clothing, new skincare and some brand new flavours.
Herschel Rain Jacket
You may already know the Vancouver-based Herschel brand for their well-crafted, stylish backpacks and other accessories, but they also sell a variety of clothing for the whole family. Perfect for the Lower Mainland’s rainy season, this classic-style rain jacket is water-resistant, windproof, stretchy and even has a zipper with a storm flap as well as a three-piece hood with a structured brim. herschel.ca
SECTION 35
SECTION 35 is an Indigenous-owned streetwear brand which has been featured in Vogue, Complex and other publications. Working from the unceded Sto:lo Territory (Chilliwack), founder and creative director Justin Jacob Louis uses art and fashion to tell his people’s stories. Treat yourself to a custom-designed sweater, sweatpants or hat to help beat the fall chill. sectionthirtyfive.com
Grandpa J’s Seasonings
Award-winning and full of flavour—this is the seasoning brand Ryan Reynolds gave a shout-out to on Instagram! Created in 1995 by a Vancouver master chef, the company was taken over by his nieces after his death, and these powerful Burnaby women have hustled to get it into stores all over BC. Available in several mouth-watering flavours, these no-msg spice blends are perfect for meat, potatoes, eggs and anything else you can think of. grandpajs.com
Chella
Handcrafted with care and consciousness in Vancouver, Chella is a small start-up business run by inspired young entrepreneurs. Their goal is to find the most unique recipes in the world. They have searched the far corners of the Earth to bring you delicious, natural treats made with zero preservatives and natural ingredients. These three varieties of delicious, historical snacks will soon become a favourite with your family.
chellasnacks.com
Deew Skincare
Created in Vancouver, this small-batch, vegan, cruelty-free skincare promises to leave your skin rejuvenated and radiant. Formulated with certified organic cannabis sativa seed oil and other natural, clean ingredients, these fragrance-free balms are a great way to calm inflamed skin, add needed moisture, help you sleep and recover from anything life throws at you.
youdeewyou.com
Freedom in the Forest Risky Play in the Great Outdoors
Camping is a weekend getaway I’ve enjoyed since I was young. The freedom of running through campsites, dodging trees and bedtime being determined by the setting sun are memories I cherish.
Now that I’m a parent, I know just how much effort goes into planning and executing a camping trip. In the days leading up, as I make copious lists of food, bedding, clothing and dishware, I inevitably wonder why I made this plan when a rented cabin would have been so much easier. For a weekend trip, we take enough food for all our meals, lots of snacks and then a few extra snacks, bedding, flashlights, camping chairs and dish buckets that make their way from the list into the back of the car.
Clothing I pack lightly, as I’m a firm believer that the same pants two days in a row around a campsite is totally acceptable. I throw a frisbee, some trucks, a bedtime story and a few sand toys into the back and I know that’s all we’ll need. Entertainment is something we’re never short on at a campsite. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the dreaded summer b-word (bored) when we have the forest as our temporary backyard.
We pull into the campsite, car doors open and the kids roll out dumping a lap full of crumbs left over from car snacks. We quickly set some boundaries, clearly outlining the big tree not to pass and the bush to stay to one side of. We give clear instructions that before any outhouse visits, you need to inform a grown-up. Gravel roads are not to be run on. Lots of nods from the kids and they’re off. They find friends in the neighbouring campsites and immediately begin building forts, sourcing branches to swing from and wooded areas to explore. As I watch them run off, I remember the “risky play” article I read and assure myself playing with sticks and getting dirt embedded in their fingernails is good for them.
As my husband and I start setting up the tent, we can see the kids choose their home base for the weekend. They run back for a piece of tarp, a rope and their beach chairs. They climb the larger rock and declare it their patio. They find logs on the forest floor for walls and use the tarp and leaves as a roof. They explore their surroundings weaving tales of predators to hide from and local berries that’ll keep them nourished. Hours later when we call them for dinner, they arrive with stories of adventure,
details on fort design and very dirty t-shirts. They’ve developed a community with other kids where everyone has responsibilities and a role to play. There are few places my children will entertain themselves with minimal equipment for such a long stretch of time. Getting them out of the house and into the woods gets their creativity flowing in ways a city park doesn’t. The natural and unstructured set up of the forest gives them creative control over their environment that indoor play places and bouncy gyms don’t offer. The unpredictable nature of the forest ensures play is constantly
evolving. Limits are tested when a log is too heavy or a stick out of reach. When a branch won’t hold the tarp in place, it becomes an eagle, trying to get inside and nab precious goldfish crackers. When friends are called back to their campsite, they’re off on a quest with the promise to return with marshmallows.
Sticky sap and tear-inducing splinters become the enemies and parents are called in to wipe hands and dry tears as needed. Most of the time though, I’m fascinated by the kids’ ability to adapt and work with the available and ever-changing natural elements. Watching them trust their bodies when climbing and work together on creative solutions for tree attachments offers a different style of play than we see year-round at neighbourhood parks. The kids show cooperation and independence as they bring their games to life. There’s a freedom in the forest and a willingness to design, try and then try again that impresses me. We decline requests to take sleeping bags into the forest—a beach towel will do—and refuse the appeal for the axe, but I admire that they asked.
These long days of climbing, building, imagining and working together are memories the kids refer to throughout the year, wondering if their base will have been destroyed by snow, wind or forest creatures. Their recollections of their creations may be a bit grander and sturdier than mine, but the sense of accomplishment is warranted. Watching the kids play in the forest playground is a throwback to my own childhood and a true delight to witness, but the best part isn’t seeing the structures take form. Once marshmallows are finished, hands are wiped and stories are read, sleepy heads hit the pillow and immediately the kids are off to dreamland continuing what they started in the woods. Bedtime, after a full day of dirt and imagination, is a parent’s dream.
Jenn Wint is a writer and public relations specialist passionate about sharing stories that connect people, communities and local businesses. She lives in East Vancouver with her husband, son, daughter and two kitties. Follow her @jenn_wint.
10 Enlightening Nature Experiences
The Lower Mainland of BC offers a wealth of naturebased opportunities for families all year round. Get your kids excited about nature and the world they live in, teach them that exploring and learning is fun and best of all— make great memories as a family!
Teach Navigation Skills
Teaching children basic navigation skills, including how to use a map and compass, can come in handy in the future. Plan a treasure hunt or a geocaching adventure to make learning fun and practical. There are lots of apps and websites that can help you get started.
Go Camping
Many provincial parks in the Lower Mainland offer family friendly camping opportunities. Camping trips provide a great way to immerse yourself and your kids in nature and learn what it’s like to cook, eat, sleep and play outdoors for a few days.
Have a Nature Scavenger Hunt
Finding unique things in nature is cool! Organize a nature scavenger hunt where children search for specific natural items like leaves, rocks, flowers and feathers. This activity enhances observational skills and encourages exploration of their surroundings. Many books and websites are available to help you find lists of interesting things that you can discover in your area.
Seek Indigenous Knowledge
Explore the rich Indigenous heritage of the Lower Mainland by learning about the traditional ecological knowledge of local First Nations. Visit places like the Museum of Anthropology at UBC or participate in guided tours that explain the cultural significance of the land and its natural resources. Visit your local library to pick up books written by Indigenous people and learn about their lands and experiences.
Create Pollinator Gardens
Involve children in creating a pollinator garden to attract bees, butterflies and other beneficial insects. They can learn about the importance of pollinators in ecosystems and how to support their habitats. If you don’t have the room to do this at your home, or need help getting started, find a local pollination garden or garden centre in your area for advice.
Explore Flora and Fauna
On the Lower Mainland, we are lucky to have many opportunities to explore nature. Forests and parks offer the chance for children to learn about local flora and fauna. In coastal areas, children can explore tidal pools, learn about marine life and understand the importance of coastal ecosystems. Mountains and trails teach children about the local geology, plant life and wildlife. At community gardens and farms, children can learn about plant growth, organic farming and the importance of local food systems.
Encourage Nature Photography
Teach children the basics of nature photography by providing them with cameras or smartphones to capture images of plants, animals and landscapes. This activity enhances their observation skills and encourages them to appreciate the beauty of nature. Many local photographers offer lessons or tips online to get you started.
Start a Nature Journal
Encourage children to keep a nature journal during camping trips and their days out in parks, on mountains or at beaches.
They can document their observations, make sketches and reflect on their outdoor experiences. Have them describe or draw the birds they see—and try to identify them—as well as all other creatures, trees and anything else that catches their eye. Nature journaling enhances their observational skills and helps them develop a deeper appreciation for the natural world.
Attend Eco-Based Programs and Camps
Many nature sanctuaries and parks departments offer eco-camps or marine programs for children and teens. These camps feature nature hikes, wildlife observation, environmental games and arts and crafts. The programs are designed to foster a love for nature and teach children about the importance of ecological conservation. These camps are often looking for teens to lead the programs, which teaches them leadership skills in addition to nature learning.
Find Family Adventure Tours
Most nature parks and eco-centres in the Lower Mainland
offer both guided tours and options for self-exploration. A few of these places include the Stanley Park Ecology Society, Lynn Canyon Ecology Centre, UBC Botanical Garden and the Burnaby Lake Nature House.
Families can also borrow eco-kits from Stanley Park Ecology Society, which include tools and guides for self-led explorations. Kits are themed around topics like bird watching, bug hunting and plant identification, making it easy for families to engage in hands-on learning at their own pace.
At the Burnaby Lake Nature House, families can join citizen science projects, such as bird counts and water-quality monitoring.
These activities engage families in scientific research and contribute to the conservation of local ecosystems.
Erika Palmer is a writer living with her husband and daughter. She believes most problems can be solved with a good cup of tea and a huge piece of chocolate.
Lessons
Too Much, Too Soon? When and how to talk to your kids about sexuality
Acommon fear parents, families and caregivers have is that talking to our kids about sexuality at younger ages exposes them to more information than they are ready for. In the two decades I have taught sexual health education, I have had more than a handful of parents hold their breath while bashfully confessing that they are reluctant to have “the talk” with their kids because they are worried that it’s “too much, too soon.”
This reluctance is usually rooted in the fear that providing kids with honest, appropriate information creates curiosity and threatens their innocence. Time for a big sigh of relief because global research has repeatedly proven the opposite to be true! When children are given access to accurate information that supports their specific stage of development, they gain the ability to comfortably understand and accept themselves and use this knowledge to make positive decisions throughout their lifetime.
One of the most helpful ways to move through feelings of reluctance is to leave behind the idea of “the talk” as a singular event, and approach these conversations (yes, plural!) as a collection of mini talks that will blend together over the years to form a solid foundation.
Preschool
Preschool kids are comfortable and curious learners; they are keen to learn because they are full of curiosity, imagination and energy, which helps them soak up the information without feeling shy or embarrassed. Begin with accurate language for all body parts,
especially the genitals. It is easiest and most natural to use the accurate language with them when we help them with toileting and bathing—using a simple phrase such as “let’s use this cloth to clean the outside of your vulva/penis.” It is also essential, as we prepare them to be in the company and care of others, that we teach them they are in charge of their own body and who they decide to share it with. This means they get to choose who they share affection (hugs and kisses) with as do others with them. This helps them begin to make the connections between choice and boundary setting (or consent) that is an integral life-long skill.
Jennifer Gibson, MA, is also known as “The Sex Lady”—for 20 years!—to the thousands of amazing youth and adults she is lucky to educate and learn with through her job as an educator in the BC school system. She’s passionate about making sexuality education as positive, fun and non-cringe-able as possible.
Elementary School
One of the principles our elementary-aged kids need to have role-modelled and understand is respect for difference and diversity, including body size and shape, dress, sexual orientation and gender diversity. If they do not yet, they will come to know diverse peers, families, educators and teammates. If kids are taught to expect diversity from a young age, it’s more likely they will respect and welcome difference rather than fear it.
Elementary kids have the need to under stand basic human development, including puberty and reproduction. Every young person should be given the opportunity to under stand how their body and the bodies of others grow and change over time, including those with a different assigned sex than theirs. We lay the groundwork for puberty in early el ementary when we define puberty simply as growth and change from a child to an adult. As they head towards later elementary, we begin to discuss portions of the puberty pro cess more specifically to encourage comfort, empathy and confidence.
As our kids finish elementary school, we’re going to build on our mini talks and start to observe their friendships because these re lationships become increasingly important in their lives. These friendships provide a great opportunity to help our kids develop and practice healthy skills such as consent, com passion and patience.
Middle School
Likely, as they head into and through middle school, many of our kids may be de veloping crushes. During middle school, as their adult champions, we need to chat with them more about the specific changes that come along with puberty such as sexual feel ings, questions about identity and orienta tion, strategies for managing those queries and where/who to go in their community for support. It is always a good idea to remind middle-schoolers that the minority of youth in BC are sexually active because it requires a lot of maturity and responsibility, which they are still developing. Be direct in telling them, when/if they have questions, that you want them to come to you or to another safe, trusted adult.
Start from where your kids are developmentally and, as always, within the context of your family, cultural and religious values. Take a deep breath and trust that you know your kids, your culture and your faith best.
Planting the Seed for Managing Parenting Stress
It is no secret that parenting can be stressful. In fact, the US Surgeon General recently published a public health advisory about parenting stress, like the health advisories about gun violence and smoking.
Wait, what?
How can parenting, which has been practiced since the beginning of humankind, be a health hazard?
Well, it turns out that today’s parenting stress is taking a bigger toll on parents’ health than before. The reason for this is likely that in addition to common parenting challenges, like keeping children safe, feeding them and providing them with shelter, today’s parents worry about the effects of social media on their kids, the cost and scarcity of childcare, the rising cost of everyday necessities and competing demands of childcare and career.
In an survey conducted by the American health authorities, parents were twice as likely
as non-parenting adults to report being overwhelmed by stress and consumed by financial worries. For example, 42 percent of surveyed parents, but only 20 percent of non-parenting adults endorsed the statement: “Most days I am so stressed I can’t function.”
While the U.S. health authorities have taken note and have new policies to help parents cope with their stress, we have not heard from the Canadian Chief Public Health Officer on this issue.
While we are waiting for official acknowledgements and stress-relief policies to be made, we must take measures into our own hands to ensure that we manage our parenting stress to the best of our abilities. We owe it to ourselves and to our families.
Getting Creative
In the summer issue of WestCoast Families, I wrote about three quick ways to over-
come stress; breathing techniques, mindful meditation and gratitude practice.
Now, I would like to discuss creativity as a stressbuster. I do not just mean parenting creativity like making a new dish from leftovers or coming up with an indoors fun activity when your outdoors plans were doused by a downpour.
What I mean is you as an individual, engaging in a creative activity just for you.
“Yeah, right,” you might say to yourself as you roll your eyes in disbelief. “Is she for real? I barely have time to pee and now she’s telling me to engage in creative activities?”
Ok, you are right. Most parents are not able to spend hours painting, sculpting, doing pottery or writing poetry. But what if you knew that becoming more creative could add years and quality to your life?
Walt Disney said, “If you can visualize it, if you can dream it, there’s some way to do it!”
So let’s start by visualizing yourself engaging in a creative activity. Can you close your eyes for a few moments and visualize yourself doing something creative? What is it that you are doing? Where are you? Are you by yourself or with other people? How does it feel?
Now can you write down a description of your visualization? Choose a title for your description. Maybe it reads: “This will be my creative activity,” or “This is me painting.”
Finally, put this little write-up somewhere where you will see it every day from now on. This is called “Planting the seed,” and is the first step in every goal and future endeavour.
In the meantime, you may want to spend a few minutes here and there experimenting with your creativity.
Here are three quick and simple ideas of how to do that:
1. Photography. Think about creative ways to change your photography habits. Try different angles, different backgrounds or have your kids wear funny clothes and accessories. If you like photography, how about taking some photos when you are doing errands or on a walk? The outcome doesn’t really matter. It’s the creative engagement that counts.
2. Creative food preparation. I do not suggest you become a chef (unless you want to) but you could be creating fun designs with food, whether for kids or adults. Like creating a face on a slice of bread or cutting fruits and veggies in a fun way. Use your own designs or look up fun food designs on the internet.
3. Creative hairstyling. Experiment with your kids’ or your own hairstyle. Use different accessories or colours. It’s fun and easy to reverse if you don’t like it.
The most important thing for stress reduction is thinking more creatively. Perfection is neither required nor desired.
Read the full U.S. Surgeon General public health advisory at hhs.gov/sites/default/files/ parents-under-pressure.pdf.
Dr. Michal (Michelle) Regev is a Registered Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist, practicing in BC. Dr. Regev has helped mothers, fathers and families overcome mental health and relationship challenges for the past 30 years. She has been an avid supporter of women and their mental health care and has presented in numerous conferences and workshops worldwide.
Positive Praise How to Help Your Child Thrive
Creativity and innovation extend far beyond artistic expression; they are crucial life skills that foster curiosity, problem-solving and the ability to adapt to new challenges. While parents often use praise to motivate their children, many are surprised to learn that praise can sometimes stifle creativity.
The Problem
Praise is easy to give. It acknowledges our children’s skills, efforts and talents. Everyone enjoys positive feedback and supporting children is important. However, praise has turned into a form of hyper-parenting or hyper-teaching. Phrases like “good job” or “good listening” have become repetitive and lose their impact, turning into verbal habits. Researchers refer to this as “sugar-coated control,” describing how praise manipulates children similarly to tangible rewards. In the short term, it works because children crave approval.
While we aim to boost our children’s selfesteem, it can be discouraging to learn that praise might do the opposite. The more we praise, the more children become dependent on it. Research shows that children praised for creative tasks often struggle with the next one and don’t perform as well as those who weren’t praised at all.
Why does this happen? Praise creates pressure to “keep up the good work,” which can inhibit risk-taking—an essential element of creativity. Misusing praise creates approval junkies. Being an approval junkie makes selfworth dependent on others’ opinions, leading to constant anxiety and fear of failure, and fosters insecurity. True confidence comes from within, not from external validation, allowing individuals to thrive on their own terms rather than constantly seeking approval.
Hint, the more insecure your child is, the less you should praise. Ask them questions instead so they get used to feeling valued for what is going on inside them. Watch their confidence grow when you show respect and curiosity.
Although it’s not harmful to occasionally say “good job” (and it can be difficult not to), this approach overlooks the thoughts, feelings, and values behind behaviour. For instance, a child may do something kind, not for praise, but because they genuinely want to help.
The Solution
Changing how we use praise isn’t easy. First, we need to understand why we should change, then work on breaking the habit. You might notice your child asking if something is “good” when you don’t offer praise. Don’t worry—you can shift to a more meaningful and supportive approach. Here’s how:
• Say nothing. Not everything needs rein-
forcement. Over-praising dilutes its impact and can be manipulative. Even young children can sense when they’re being played.
• Describe what you see. Instead of evaluating, simply state what you observe. For example: “I see a red line and lots of blue,” or “I notice you shared your snack with Jane,” or “The kitchen is clean; the counters are wiped and the dishwasher is emptied.” Saying thank you is fine too. Descriptions provide useful information, much like receiving specific feedback. For example, instead of just “great presentation,” tell them what worked.
• Acknowledge sincere contributions. Help kids understand the impact of their actions. For example, “Jane looked really pleased when you gave her half of your
apple,” or “It’s a relief to walk into a clean kitchen.” (You may say this after fainting!)
• Ask more, talk less. Instead of stating what impresses you about their work, ask questions. “What do you like most about your drawing?” “How did you figure out how to apply this shape?” “How did you come up with this idea?”
Compliments and thank yous aren’t always harmful, but it’s essential to consider our motives. Genuine enthusiasm for a child’s accomplishments should come from a place of, “You look pleased or proud of yourself,” rather than “I’m so proud of you.” Encourage progress and excitement over their own achievements. Remember, this isn’t about rigid rules. We’re allowed to colour outside the lines too.
Keep it simple:
• Be sincere
• Be specific
• Be encouraging
• Be non-evaluative
• Get curious and ask questions
Positive Praise is non-evaluative. It encourages children to be themselves and grow according to their own standards. It separates behaviour from their character.
Misused Praise is evaluative. It praises children for pleasing you or for meeting your standards, evaluating them instead of focusing on specific behaviours.
Finally, a twist. Be careful when demonstrating your talents. Figure out how to share your accomplishments without making it look easy. Share your struggles and doubts along with the joy you feel when you pull something off.
Dr. Allison Rees is an educator, counsellor and author of Sidestepping the Power Struggle and The Parent Child Connection. To see her course online, go to lifeseminars.com
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Engage in the Arts
Engaging in the arts gives children countless ways to express themselves creatively, build confidence and develop critical thinking skills.
Here are some great ways arts programs can bring out the best in your child, along with some ideas of classes and programs you can consider in Vancouver and the Lower Mainland.
1. Encourages Creative Expression
Visual Arts: Visual arts offer a wonderful way for kids to dive into their imaginations. Whether it’s painting, drawing or sculpting, these programs help children express their
9 reasons to register for expressive programs
feelings and ideas in a physical form that they can be proud of.
Creative Writing Workshops: For kids who love storytelling, creative writing workshops are the ideal fit. They can write short stories, turning their thoughts and experiences into engaging narratives they can share with their family and friends.
2. Enhances Emotional Intelligence
Theatre Programs: Theatre helps kids connect with their emotions and gain empathy. Acting out different roles and scenarios allows them to explore a range of feelings and understand others’ perspectives.
Poetry Workshops: These workshops
provide a platform for kids to express their emotions and experiences through poetry. Performing their poems in spoken word poetry sessions helps build emotional awareness and confidence.
3. Boosts Cognitive Development
Music Lessons: Learning to play an instrument involves reading music, memorizing pieces and developing rhythmic skills, which boost cognitive functions. It also enhances memory and critical thinking through these structured practices.
Animation Classes: Creating animations through stop-motion involves storyboarding, designing characters and filming sequences.
This process contributes to patience and problem-solving skills as kids see their ideas come to life frame by frame.
4. Develops Social Skills and Teamwork
Choir or Band Programs: Participating in a choir or band teaches kids to work as part of a team. They learn to listen to others and contribute to a group performance, whether in a choir or an orchestra.
Group Art Programs: Classes that involve collaborative projects, like creating a mural or sculpture, encourage teamwork. For example, kids working together to build a sculpture from recycled materials learn communication and cooperation during the creative process.
5. Enhances Motor and Coordination Skills
Pottery Classes: Working with clay helps develop fine motor skills as kids shape and mold their creations. The tactile nature of pottery enhances hand-eye coordination and dexterity.
Dance Classes: Dance programs improve gross motor skills and coordination. Kids learn to control their movements and develop physical skills, whether through the strict routines of ballet or the energetic steps of hip-hop.
6. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
Recitals and Performances: Performing in front of an audience, whether singing, playing an instrument or reciting poetry, boosts kids’ confidence. Presentations of their hard work provide a platform for them to showcase the skills they have learned and receive positive feedback.
Art Exhibitions: Displaying their artwork in a gallery gives kids a sense of accomplishment and pride. The experience of seeing their creations appreciated by others reinforces their self-esteem.
7. Promotes Cultural Awareness
World Music Programs: Learning about different musical traditions, such as playing taiko drums, helps kids appreciate diverse cultures. These programs foster a greater understanding of global diversity through music.
Cultural Dance Classes: Exploring dance forms from various cultures, like flamenco or African dance, allows kids to understand and respect different cultural traditions and stories.
8. Provides a Lifelong Passion and Potential Career Opportunities
Culinary Arts Programs: Culinary classes, such as cooking or cake decorating, can ignite a lifelong passion for preparing cuisine. Kids learn practical skills that may turn into a career in the food industry or remain a beloved hobby.
Graphic Design and Digital Art Programs: Learning graphic design tools like Photoshop or Illustrator offers kids a head start in creative fields of work. These skills can lead to careers in advertising, animation or digital media.
9. Develops Discipline and Perseverance
Fencing/Archery: Fencing requires its participants to develop dexterity, flexibility, endurance and problem-solving capabilities. Success in archery depends on concentration, self discipline and the ability to learn from mistakes.
Martial Arts: Martial arts teach discipline through structured practice and progression. Kids work towards mastering techniques or earning new belts, learning the value of persistence.
From traditional to new-age, no matter what art program your child is interested in, there are a plethora of benefits of being involved in organized creative outlets. So collect your creative kiddo and start searching for their next adventure!
Building Resilience through Visualization
When children and youth face academic stress or struggle to perform at their best, finding effective solutions becomes crucial. The question then arises: How can we ensure they receive the optimal tools for success? This is especially important for those who encounter additional barriers, such as learning disabilities, which necessitate extra support.
But what form should this support take? While some prioritize academic outcomes, others might emphasize mental health and overall happiness. It’s important to recognize that academic performance and mental well-being are deeply intertwined; compromising one can negatively impact the other.
A student struggling academically may feel diminished self-worth, while deteriorating mental health can hinder academic achievement. For instance, students with high test anxiety often perform worse than their peers with lower anxiety levels, according to an article in the Journal of Affective Disorders.
To better understand the impact of these techniques, imagine yourself as a 10-year-old in Grade 5, grappling with academic challenges. It’s mid-October, and you’re feeling disheartened due to missed assignments and falling behind. As you sit in class, a wave of negative self-talk—“I’m a failure; I’ll never catch up”—overwhelms you. This mindset hampers your ability to engage with the material and connect with your peers. Your attention drifts as your math teacher begins the lesson.
What is performance-based visualization?
For children and youth facing such obstacles, comprehensive support is essential. Performance-based visualization can play a key role in this support. While approaches may vary, effective visualization generally includes imagining oneself succeeding in a specific environment, promoting relaxation and focusing the mind through imaginative techniques and environmental cues (i.e. a pencil or desk). With a skilled coach or therapist, students can develop a
growth mindset, fostering a belief in their potential and possibilities.
Now, let’s revisit the scenario with the addition of performance-based visualization techniques. As a 10-yearold who has recently tried these methods, you find your mood shifting. You recall a session with your visualization therapist, reminding yourself to adopt a realistic and hopeful perspective: “If I make an effort now, I might still turn things around. Once I get going, it won’t be so bad.” With this newfound optimism, you use a cue—a special pencil provided by your therapist—to centre yourself and stay focused. This small change helps you engage more actively in class. Although social issues still linger, you consciously set them aside until recess, allowing you to concentrate better when your math teacher begins to speak. By relaxing your muscles and practicing mental focus, you navigate through distractions, redirecting your attention to positive sensations of well-being and curiosity. This shift enhances your learning experience, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the lesson.
For some children and youth, 50 minutes of one-on-one talk therapy may be sufficient, while others might benefit from additional scientific interventions like visualization to boost focus and emotional balance. If these options are not available at school, consider consulting a local mental health professional to explore how visualization techniques could support your child’s academic and emotional wellbeing.
Laura Lourdu is a Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Vancouver with over a decade of experience in career counselling, education and mental health. She finds joy in connecting with people, savouring hot tea and appreciating the colours of autumn. Learn more at lauralourducounsellingandworkshops.com.
BC Culture Days
October 13 | culturedays.ca
The 2024 BC Culture Days takes place until October 13. Explore a variety of events throughout BC during Canada’s largest public participation for the arts. Help to foster appreciation for the arts and cultural life in your community. These free events showcase the best of BC’s art and culture scene and are available in many different locations on the Lower Mainland, as well as online, so everyone can take part.
The Nutcracker
November 23 | surreycityorchestra.org
Get your tickets to the family friendly November 23 performance of The Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky in the Chandos Pattison Auditorium in Surrey. Enjoy a performance from live professional Surrey City Orchestra, Affinity Dance, Kvitka Ukrainian School of Dance, Layali Dancers and Coastal Sound Youth Choir, conducted by Maestro Leslie Dala. Artists from the Surrey Festival of the Arts will be featured in the lobby before and after the show.
Coho Commotion
October 26 | metrovancouver.org
Experience the awesome journey of the salmon as they make their fall return to their hatching spot, change colours and spawn new salmon life. This event takes place at the Capilano Fish Hatchery in North Vancouver on October 26, and is a great way to see the salmon up close and learn about their extraordinary lives.
Cultivating Creativity in your Home
We all know there are many benefits to exploring creativity with your children. Creativity allows kids to express themselves, explore their imagination and develop essential skills that will help them throughout their lives.
Where better to inspire your child’s minds than in your home where they spend so much of their time? A clean and tidy home with bright colours and lots of opportunity for expression can get the creative juices flowing.
Don’t worry, there is no need to renovate your whole house. You can make small changes that will stimulate creativity every day.
Here are some tips for making your sanctuary the perfect place to spark their (and your!) imagination and productivity.
Inspiration Through Design
Display affirming phrases on walls, hang meaningful art from places you have travelled to or photographs you have taken, and incorporate anything that inspires creative thinking into your décor.
Hang your children’s art, not just on the fridge, but in their bedroom, the playroom and even your bathroom. Make a piece of art that you work on together a focal point in a living space in your house. A great example of this is collecting many different colours of leaves in
the fall and making a collage or other work. You can even switch it out seasonally with pressed flowers for spring, a sculpture made of rocks or sticks in the summer and paper snowflakes in the winter.
HEAD. HANDS. HEART.
Write on the Walls
No, really! Earn cool parent points by encouraging the budding artists in your home to capture doodles or ideas on white boards, chalk boards or writable surfaces on furniture. You can purchase inexpensive laminate that can be installed vertically or horizontally to enhance countertops, desktops, cabinet fronts and closet doors with dry-erase capabilities.
You can use them to jot down the thought that just popped into your head, your grocery list, the funny joke you heard at work or an inspirational message to encourage success on a important day.
Build a Comfy Nook
Create a space all their own with a reading or art nook. The corner of a room, under the stairs, a teepee tent or an egg pod chair are all great options for a (somewhat) private place they can go to get away from it all.
All the space needs is a few pillows, blankets, a favourite stuffy and some books. If you have a reader on your hands, let them curl up with their favourite novel. An artist might hide away in their nook with a pad and pencil, and a music lover might escape the bustle of their life with their headphones and their favourite beverage.
Whatever creative way they choose to escape, having a quiet place all their own to do so can go a long way to not only inspire imagination, but also reduce sibling/family conflict and promote good mental health.
Bring Nature Inside
Remember those natural elements I mentioned earlier? It has long been proven that connecting with nature helps us connect with our imaginations. This can be as simple as incorporating a painting or photograph of a mountain scape, adding a tropical houseplant, setting out some wooden artwork, hanging foliage wallpaper or even purchasing a small table-top water feature.
Get Crafty
Having a dedicated space for creative endeavours like writing, artwork or crafts is key to bringing projects to life. Give your family members the opportunity to create their masterpieces with a dedicated desk or craft room. Make sure all the supplies they need are at their fingertips and are organized in a way that makes sense. Sometimes the biggest reason for creative block is not having what you need at hand when inspiration strikes.
Colour can also spark imagination. In a space dedicated to arts and crafts, you can think outside the box and get adventurous with a splash of bright yellow or orange on the wall. If painting is too much of a commitment for you, incorporate pops of colour into your furniture with a punchy chair or vibrant pillows that are easy to switch out. No matter how you decide to do it, designing a creative vibe in your house requires little effort and has a multitude of benefits for the whole family.
Stacie Gaetz is the managing editor of WestCoast Families and the proud mama of a delightful daughter and silly son who fill her days with love and chaos. Reach her at editor@westcoastfamilies.com.
Offering throughout the North Shore, Burnaby and East Vancouver: Kids Classes • Summer Camps Birthday Parties • Retreats Kids Yoga Teacher Training • 200hrs YTT kiddingaroundyoga.com/licensee/smileykylie
Books That Spark Imagination
Growing up, I loved drawing, sewing and making crafts. One of my favourite memories is making a duck marionette with my dad. I was so proud of the way I could walk it across the floor. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that I don’t have as much time to dedicate to crafting as a grown-up as I thought I would when I was seven, but I still try to encourage my children to make time for creative endeavours.
It’s so important for them to have some sort of creative outlet because it can help them improve their fine motor skills, problem-solving abilities and confidence. If you’re like me and too tired to think of new and exciting things for them to try, here are a few books with some ideas, and a couple that will inspire their imaginations even if there are no crafts involved.
The first book is aptly named What’s the Point of Art? by DK (2024). This non-fiction book goes over the history of art from cave drawings all the way up to contemporary art. It discusses why art is important and how it contributes to self-expression and societal values. Your child doesn’t need to read the book chronologically. If there is a certain era or art style that they are interested in, they
can flip to that section. Then, once they’ve learned about different styles, including symbolism and finding new perspectives, they can check out the “try it out” tips to learn how to create automatic drawing, recycled art and more. For ages 9 to 12.
While I enjoy art, I know my two oldest sons prefer a more mechanical outlet. If your children also prefer tools to triptych, they may enjoy reading Birth of the Bicycle by Sarah Nelson and illustrated by Iacopo Bruno (Candlewick, 2024). As the name suggests, this story covers the invention of the bicycle and how it went from the velocipede to the structure we know today. The illustrations are incredibly impressive considering the detail that Bruno put into each of the bicycle styles. For ages 6 to 9.
Another slightly different way of using creativity shows up in Money Matters: A Guide to Saving, Spending and Everything in Between by Alexa von Tobel and illustrated by Morgan Goble (Rebel Girls, 2024). This book, which covers responsible spending, stocks and saving, also discusses how to earn money. Specifically, it has an entire chapter about how to start a business. And, as the
book points out “There’s no cookie-cutter entrepreneur,” so this is a very creative (and potentially lucrative) endeavour for your children to try out. For ages 8 to 12.
Now that you and your children have some ideas for potential creative outlets, they might be wondering where different ideas for crafts or inventions come from. These next two stories can help with that. The first one is There are No Dragons in This Book by Donna Lambo-Weidner and illustrated by Carla Haslbauer (NorthSouth Books, 2023). This interactive story will help our children find magic and see hints of dragons everywhere they go from the mess strewn across the living room floor to the sparks crackling in the fireplace. You never know where you might find a dragon. For ages 4 to 8.
The second one is If I Couldn’t Be Anne by Kallie George and illustrated by Geneviève Godbout (Tundra, 2020). Growing up, I loved Anne of Green Gables. It was a highlight of my childhood when we ended up in PEI and got to visit Lucy M. Montgomery’s home and try raspberry cordial. I’m so glad that Montgomery’s story is inspiring new ones, because I get to enjoy it all over again. And if there is one thing Anne can teach all of us, it’s how
to dream. This story explores all the things Anne imagines she could be if she couldn’t be Anne with an e. For ages 4 to 7.
I’m not sure where your children’s imaginations will take them this fall, but I hope that with some help from these books, they will be able to learn, adapt to new situations and enjoy the challenges living creatively brings.
Christina Van Starkenburg lives with her husband, children and cat. She is the author of One Tiny Turtle: A Story You Can Colour and many articles. To read more of her work and learn about her upcoming books, visit christinavanstarkenburg.com, Facebook: facebook.com/christinavanstarkenburg and X: @Christina_VanS.
variety of arts classes and lessons for all ages and skill levels
Register today for classes starting in January placedesarts.ca • 1120 Brunette Ave., Coquitlam, BC
It’s Apple Season
We don’t spend a lot of time considering apples, beyond choosing between Gala and Granny Smith in the grocery store. However, there are so many different varieties of apple available, each with their own flavour and texture.
Most apples in the grocery store are storage apples that travel well and will stay firm all winter long. However, heritage varieties come in two other types.
• Eating apples are delicious within the first two weeks after picking. Transparents are a type of eating apple with juicy flesh that is nearly transparent in nature. Some of them taste like flowers or berries, others are tart.
• Cooking apples, like Gravensteins, are super soft, mealy apples that dissolve into apple sauce or a piece of pie.
If you want to explore over 500 varieties of heritage apples, check out the UBC Apple Festival (October 19 to 20).
Here are two favourite apple recipes to celebrate apple season.
Carrot Apple Slaw
This is a kid-friendly creamy salad that everyone will enjoy. It is quick to put together and lasts for several days in the fridge. I’ve included fresh parsley and chives in the recipe, but it’s perfectly fine to skip those ingredients if you don’t have access to fresh herbs.
3 large carrots
1 tart apple
1⁄2 cup plain yogurt
2 Tbsp mayonnaise
1 tsp lemon juice
1⁄2 tsp salt and pepper, to taste
3 Tbsp fresh parsley
3 Tbsp fresh chives
1. Grate the carrots and apple into a medium-sized bowl. It’s not necessary to peel either of them as a lot of the nutrition is in their skin.
2. Stir in the yogurt and mayonnaise.
3. Add the salt and pepper, taste and add more seasoning if needed.
4. Place the slaw into an air-tight con-
tainer and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes so the flavours can blend.
5. Top with freshly chopped parsley and chives just before serving.
6. This salad will taste best within the first three days.
Simple Apple Cake
This apple cake is perfect for an afterschool snack or weekend brunch. Top it with the date caramel glaze for dessert!
1 cup milk
1⁄2 cup of brown sugar
1⁄4 cup oil
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
11⁄2 cups whole-wheat flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1⁄2 tsp ground cloves
1⁄4 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp baking powder
1⁄2 tsp salt
1 cup grated apple (about 1 medium-sized apple)
Optional: 1⁄2 cup chopped pecans
1. Preheat the oven to 350° F.
2. Mix the milk, sugar, oil, egg and vanilla together in a large bowl. Beat everything together until it is well mixed.
3. Add the flour, spices, salt and baking soda. Stir to combine. Add in the grated apple and pecans (if using them) and stir until everything is just combined.
4. Pour the batter into a 6-inch cake pan.
5. Bake for 40–45 min (until a skewer comes out clean).
6. Allow to cool for at least 1 hour before adding the date caramel glaze
Date Caramel Glaze
This easy glaze is sweetened with dates! The only trick is to use soft Medjool dates. Other dates are more acidic and may cause the cream to curdle. This glaze is also delicious as a sauce or dip. Serve it with apple slices or pancakes.
8 large Medjool dates
1⁄2 cup of water
1⁄2 cup of cream
1. Remove the pits from the dates and place them in the blender with the water. Pulse until you have a smooth paste.
2. Pour in whipping cream. Continue to pulse until everything is well mixed.
3. The cream will continue to thicken the more you beat it, so continue until you have a thick, yet pourable consistency.
4. Store it in an air-tight container in the fridge for up to 1 week.
Emillie Parrish loves having adventures with her two busy children. You can find more of her recipes in her cookbook Fermenting Made Simple. fermentingforfoodies.com
LIFE LIKE NO OTHER
There’s More to Jessica’s Story
“For most of the last nine years, I was a reclusive shut-in. Now, as I write this, I’m planning my next trip to Mexico and two months ago I went to Spain with my daughter. What’s at the bottom of this change? A trauma counselling program at Family Services of Greater Vancouver.
My first aha moment was this time I got a very triggering email and, instead of reacting, I didn’t respond right away. I took my time, remained calm, and felt like I was finally in control of my emotions. It felt like being free from a thorn in my side. When I didn’t have the same response as before, when I took my time and was able to stay calm, to laugh even, I realized counselling had unlocked something.
That moment was so empowering and things like this kept happening—and they still are! I’m connected to music again. I’m traveling to places I would have never thought I could go. I’m getting so much closer to my friends because I know myself better and I can let them know me better too.
My counsellor completely changed my life, and I just want everyone who needs it to get a chance like this. I had tried other counselling before, and it wasn’t like this and I wouldn’t have been able to have this experience if it wasn’t free. That is why I’m sharing my story: to say, “there is help.” I am finally living now, not just surviving and not just existing.
There’s so much more to my story that brought me to Family Services—and I have so much ahead of me too.”
Writing the Next Chapter
Jessica is a former client in the Trauma Counselling program at Family Services of Greater Vancouver (FSGV). The work happening at FSGV gives people the chance to write their next chapter with more confidence, skills, and knowledge.
This fall, FSGV will help about 2,500 people through counselling, victim and survivor support, financial literacy education, and more. Just as there’s more to Jessica’s story, there’s more to every client’s story. Mental health is complex and interconnected—and FSGV's programs and staff respond to it through individualized care.
FSGV can only do this work with support from generous community and partners. You can make sure FSGV is there to give people a helping hand, to give them the chance to write their next chapters with dignity. Learn more and make your lifechanging gift today at: fsgv.ca/TheresMore
*Jessica’s name and image have been changed for privacy.
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