Finding Peace

7 Steps to Overcome Disappointment

By Pamla LaDon Klenczar

There will always be ups and downs in your relationships and situations. Have you built up a fantasized version of what your relationships should be or how a situation should work out? What are your expectations, hopes?

Disappointment is a feeling of sadness caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectations, it is not the end of your life it is a component of your testimony. Rise up and resist with the force of prayer, you are not a loser. Disappointment is just an event, it is inevitable. You will always come up against it, what counts is how you overcome it.

I hear advice to pray harder, fast more, and you will get GOD to change your situation. This makes me angry; GOD doesn't move because you pray harder. Praying harder when you are disappointed and feeling hopeless only increases your hopelessness. GOD wants to increase your hope and urge you to take a positive step forward into the blessings that already belong to you. When I asked people what their number one disappointment was, every single person answered relationships. It could be your spouse, parents, children, friends, or co-workers. In each case, their expectations of how they should be treated or loved were not met. They found that the foundation that they thought they had only existed in their own minds. My own marriage has been a disappointment. I was angry all the time, I had been emotionally abandoned and nothing was like what I thought he had promised me. I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel as the pain consumed me. I resigned myself to the fact that this was my life.

I realized that disappointment had wounded my soul and only GOD could heal that. It has been a long journey! But it is now my testimony. I choose to believe what GOD believes about me and draw close to HIM! HE will never leave me! HE said I am the head and not the tail! I shall not fail at life! I am victorious! What is the gift that GOD brings you when you are disappointed? For me, that gift was love and knowing I mattered. I was worthy to be loved and heard. I was able to start standing up for myself in a way that was a gift of love to the abuser. Expecting to receive only disappointment while allowing yourself to be abused is NOT love. You were created to be loved and cherished. While my marriage does not bring me satisfaction or feelings of being cherished, it may never at this point. In seeking GOD'S wisdom, I have been

figuring out what I want out of this life. I no longer allow another person to be the ruler of my peace because GOD is my source, the lover of my soul, and in HIM I will never be disappointed.

1 - Acknowledge your feelings and confess them to GOD

This is a biggie as you have been trained from a child that you should not express your emotions, it is wrong, or you are bothering someone. GOD designed you with emotions and they are from HIM.

2 - Grieve

You have lost something important to you. It is ok to grieve, there are stages of grief that you will go through.

3 - Take it to GOD in prayer, ask for healing

HE is waiting for you. HE wants to heal the wound on your soul that disappointment has made.

Believe in GOD'S plan for you. GOD loves you just as you are and HE believes in you, HE sees you as unique and special.

Practice being in the presence of God, take communion and then praise him for one minute and then worship him for one minute. Have the assurance that you are already in God's presence HE is always with you. This exercise helps you focus on the fact that HE is there.

4 - Forgive

Forgiveness is for you, not for the other person. When you are constantly disappointed and hold on to unforgiveness, you become bitter and angry. When you forgive someone, it doesn't mean you allow them to continue bad behaviour. We need to learn what forgiveness is NOT, but that is a discussion for another time.

5 - Ask God for discernment and wisdom

HE will show you what the root of your feelings are and what you can change about yourself. Are they things only HE can change?

God wants to tell you; He wants you to have wisdom and discernment. He wants you to use your disappointment to build your strength and be able to help other people overcome it. God turns all things to the good.

6 - Listen and wait

Big things happen when we pray, soul wounds get healed and next time we face disappointment it will not devastate us. The next time we will respond with the WORD.

GOD will adjust our expectations to not base our happiness on achieving that goal or depending on a person. HE will show us how to place our hope solely in HIM. HE is the only secure place!

7 -Search for the good

Search the Bible for examples, for me I found great comfort in the example of Abigail. She knew her husband was a fool and he treated her and everyone else with contempt, but she took care of her household and she had peace about it. She made the decision to live with him in peace no matter how he behaved.

FATHER, heal me of disappointment, bring about YOUR perfect plan for good in my life. YOU are the lover of my soul. YOU continually show me what the opposite of negative things in my life are, so I operate in YOUR fullness and never in deficit. I break all ungodly soul ties and connections and put into place GODLY boundaries wherever YOU direct, in JESUS' name!

Pamla Klenczar lives in the Ozarks in Arkansas, USA on the side of a mountain. In 2008 she discovered that being offended was a sin that wounded the soul and her dreams held the key to the areas in her life that GOD wanted to heal. She began seeking the LORD for the meaning of her dreams. It was like a treasure hunt of seeking out and interpreting not only her own dreams, but the dreams of others. Quite often, she interprets 30 or more dreams a day in a group that includes people from all over the world. Your dreams are one of the ways GOD speaks to you as He gives you direction for healing your soul. Pamla is currently working on a book called “Dream to Heal,” and a Masterclass to teach others to interpret their own dreams.