Women Empowering Women Magazine Winter 2015

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

From

THE EDITIOR Hello Ladies Wow..... It's that time of the year when we take time off from our work and business to spend and enjoy time with family.

As we see another year out, have you had time to meditate on your highlights of 2015?

What did this year's process of life teach you?

This has been a challenging, exciting, surprising and progressive year all rolled in one, I realised I'm not as there as I thought I might be and if anything what I thought I knew is not what I know but rather has taught me that I need to be real with stuff and accept that I'm okay to learn from others no matter their experience.

One learning point for me is that submission isn't a bad thing at all and letting go of my own ideals could make me see things from a greater perspective.

As we get ready to celebrate Christmas and welcome a new year I'm interested in knowing....

What's been your challenge of 2015?

What's been your highlight of 2015?

What new thing have you learnt about yourself in 2015 that you're looking forward to take with you into 2016?

Life is a wonderful thing.....

A Magazine for the Kingdom Minded Woman, Promoting her Style, Wholeness and Spiritual Etiquette.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

We have some interesting articles for your leisure reading during the festive season including our interview with Jill Southern-Jones International Director of Ellel Ministries and of course an extremely interesting article from HRM Oba Dokun Thompsn on how he was chosen as Prince by the Church, not forgetting topics to empower, encourage and propel you into position.

Purpose is an amazing thing......

Its been a pleasure serving you and until our Spring Issue next year, we at Women Empowering Women Magazine wishes all our readers, subscribers, contributors and interviewees a very Merry Christmas and a super fantastic New Year celebrations.

We’d also like to thank all our well-wishers, contributors and poets for your love, articles, testimonies and stories that seek to empower women globally, your work helps us to show Jesus to the nations.

Finally to Purple Rose Creative Design and Prophetess Tamika Pusey-Squire assistant editor and partner in bringing to light God’s vision in my heart.

Be Empowered!

Jacqueline Ani Prophetess Jacqueline Ani

EDITOR IN CHIEF

JACQUELINE ANI

Editor In Chief – Women Empowering Women Magazine ASSISTANT EDITOR

TAMIKA PUSEY-SQUIRE

magazine@empworedwoman.org.uk www.wewmagazine.com

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

CONTENTS | WINTER 2015 SPECIAL FEEATURE PROPHETESS JACQUELINE ANI A Woman With A Sacred Calling

6

WOMAN STEPPING OUT! JILL SOUTHERN JONES Special Interview

10

HER STYLE

24 OMOWUNMI OLUNLOYO Let’s Talk How To Start A Food Business 28 SEPHORA OCHOU The Importance Of Raising Young Boys 32 LISA N ALEXANDER Women Must Learn To Hunt 36 AYOOLA BANDELE Beauty With A Purpose

HER WHOLENESS

40 SHAREEF DE LA CRUZ I Am Married To A Married Person 44 JANET STEVENSON Loving Through Dementia 48 JOANNE AMOAKO Cracked Not Broken

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

52 DETOLA AMURE The Christian Mother, Who Is She? 56 AMMA FRIMPONG Permissive Parent At Christmas

HER SPIRITUAL ETIQUETTE LISA MAKI The Wife, The Armour Bearer - Part 2

60

KINGDOM MINDED MAN HRM OBA DOKUN THOMPSON Your Place Of Assignment Is Your Place Of Fruitfulness 66 MINISTER VICTOR NWAORGU Men Being In Alignment 70

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

A WOMAN WITH A

By Prophetess Jacqueline Ani

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Special Feature | 7

W

hen we think about

through disobeying God’s instruction and as

women who have

a result her disobedience meant that her

impacted our lives, who

pains in childbearing will be very severe.

comes to mind for you?

In the New Testament, Paul says that women

I don’t think I could name one woman, as

will be saved through childbearing, if they

there are quite a number of them, but I could

continue in faith, love and holiness with

tell you what such a woman would look like

propriety. I would prefer to stick to the last

to me.

part of this verse…if they continue in faith,

She is beautiful, bold, courageous, vulnerable, she is visionary, and yet practical, she is loving and yet strong, she is dynamic

love and holiness with propriety. The word ‘propriety’ means an acceptable standard of behaviour or morals.

in her approach to life and yet in touch with

A woman with a sacred calling is one who

the experiences of others, she uses her past to

understands her role in the Kingdom and

create her future and makes a way for those

how her character embraces and lives the

coming after her, she leaves a legacy in her

word propriety, this is a woman who

accomplishments and ensures that her

understands her calling in righteousness and

generation will never lack.

yields her desires, her dreams and vision to

Now I may be describing some features of a Proverbs 31 Woman, however a Woman with a Sacred Calling understands that her life is a series of process designed to educate, empower and enhance the lives of the next generation.

God, in singleness, marriage, childbearing and ministry; she is a woman who encompasses the qualities of the Proverbs 31 Woman (a woman of great resource), The Shulamite Woman (a sensual, loving woman), The Book of Ruth (a woman ready to follow God no matter what it takes), The

I’ve spoken and worked with so many women who have lived their lives through

their children and once their children have left the ‘nest’, they don’t know what else to do.

Timothy 2:15 says a Woman will be saved through childbearing…..there are so many scholars who have given us one interpretation after another and I wouldn’t want to argue or refute their interpretation; but this is where I am coming from.

In the Old Testament, Genesis chapter 3 during the fall we know that Eve sinned

Book of Esther (a woman ready to perish for the sake of her call) and a Deborah Woman (a

woman who knew how to use her weapons of war to ensure the work is completed in line with God’s Mandate).

Eve may have messed up in the beginning, but a woman with a sacred calling knows she has a vision and a mission and does not prostitute, compromise or demean her calling no matter what she encounters in her process in life and her journey to maturity.

Just as Mary protected the Promise and released the Promise to the world, so also a

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

8 | Special Feature woman with a sacred calling must protect her

pass it on when to the next generation, after all

propriety ready to teach her nation how to

Paul instructs us to do so in Timothy 2:11-15.

operate in the same that glorifies God.

Women Empowering Women Magazine would

Paul talks about a woman being saved through

like to wish all our contributors who have

childbearing and I agree to an extent in the sense

contributed a rich mix of articles throughout the

that its only when a woman understands that

year, our readers, our subscribers, our Facebook

she has a legacy, a mandate, a mission to pass

fans and most of all the women who have

on, whether it be through childbearing,

stepped out and fulfilled purpose and have

adoption, fostering or inheriting children

invited us into their world to experience what

through marriage, she can’t let go of her

it’s like to yield themselves to The Father’s

propriety, her righteousness in God, she protects

Vision.

it with everything in her because that’s what she passes onto the children in her care, with that she is empowering and developing the next generation for Christ.

Thank you and wishing you Merry Christmas and a Happy New 2016

Prophetess Jacqueline Ani

Every woman is birthed with a sacred calling,

but not every woman knows how to identify and look after that sacred calling.

Save the Date Saturday April 30th our 6th’s Annual

We need more women in business, ministries,

Conference “A Woman’s Sacre d Calling”

those who are mothers, sisters aunties, daughters

#AWSC

and cousins who know their sacred calling to teach the younger ones how to do the same and

Our theme for this year is Rise, Shine, For Afflictions Does Not Rise Up the Second Time

Prophetess Jacqueline Ani is the founder of Empowered Woman and programme director of The Mentoring Academy; an author of 3 books, inspirational speaker and transformational leadership guru, Prophetess Jacqueline believes that we all have the ability to achieve God’s greatness in us. To find out more about her programmes, speaking engagements and workshops please go to www.empoweredwoman.org.uk. You can also email her at Jackie@empoweredwoman.org.uk.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Special Feature | 9

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Women

Stepping Out With Jill Southern Jones WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Author,

Special Interview | 11

Jill Southern-Jones is the director of the work at

and I came back quite challenged and changed by

Ellel Pierrepont and director of the NETs

God and He was doing work in me, because you

Programme. She is known for her strong

don’t see it often. I had a major problem with fear,

leadership, passionate Bible teachin and her

I tell the lift story, I got stuck in a lift for 4 hours

pioneering spirit. She has taught in every continent

and I cried out to God and said to Him, if you let

in the world and travels regularly. When she is not

me out of here, I will serve you full time for ever

travelling abroad, she can be found teaching on the

(laughs). It didn’t seem to be a very expensive vow

NETs Programme and at various Ellel Ministries

to me at the time because I really felt I was going to

events in the UK.

die in the lift, because there was no air and I was

Jill’s remarkable book, The Miracles of Pierrepont

stuck for long, I was completely traumatised.

shares her inspiring testimony of how God called her out of secular work, into full time ministry, to

I started looking for answers and the words “It is

lead this challenging new adventure of faith.

finished” from the Cross started to really impact

The Miracles of Pierrepont reveal a real account of

me, by this time I’m baptised in the Holy Spirit,

how God met the practical and financial needs and

speaking in tongues and I said to God if You say it

is a dynamic testimony to the grace of God in the

is finished and I’m saved and moving in the Holy

face of seemingly impossibility.

Spirit of God, it can’t be finished for me every time

I met up with Jill at Ellel Ministries Pierrepont and

I get trapped in a confined space and I completely

what struck me about her is the strong faith in

go hysterical and totally lose the plot.

God to transform a derelict building into a work of art…now that is the Glory of God, notwithstanding

I started going on a mission to find answers and I

her experience as a corporate woman turned

started to think that if it is finished, then there must

ministry leader, something I also see in myself too.

be something in the Cross that I haven’t applied in my life and then of course I started to think about

WEW: Who was Jill Southern-Jones as a young

the words by His wounds we are healed and that

girl to Jill Southern-Jones today?

fear is a huge, negative controlling emotion that overwhelms us and Jesus dies for me that whoever

JSJ: I came from a non-Christian home, my brother

the Sons sets free you are free indeed and I started

and my sister and I all came to Christ through Billy

to look for people who would pray and I started to

Graham, I was 14 years old and I was discipled by

get better after prayer until I got trapped in the

a fantastic lawyer couple and they were the Open

next confined space, so it wasn’t dealing with the

Brethren who gave me a huge Love for the Word

root.

of God, but really nothing about the Holy Spirit. I am very thankful for the biblical foundations they

I finally ended up looking in the Renewal

put into me, then I went out with Operation

Magazine there was an advert for The Battle

Mobilisation with George Verwer and that was

Belongs to the Lord Conference, run by Ellel

very tough, I wanted to save the world as you do,

Ministries in Brighton in 1990 and Bill Sabritzky

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

12 | Women Stepping! from New Zealand was coming and one of the

my first scripture from God knowing that God is

sessions was called How to Live the Fearful Life; I

calling me to leave my very well paid job. I asked

thought is it possible to live the fearful life? So I

for another scripture, Peter Horrobin was teaching

went and I was very powerfully set free and I knew

on How to Move Under the Anointing of the Holy

I was set free and the lady that had prayed for me

Spirit course, there was only about 30 people on the

said to me “Jill I believe you’ve been set free from

course and he brought 1 Kings 19:19 about Elisha

fear to deliver the captives from fear and if God

burning all his ploughing equipment and slaying

calls you into the healing ministry would you go?”

his oxen ad going off and following the God of

I think I answered no, If God calls me into the

Elijah and I think Peter Horrobin said “there was

healing ministry, I would have to know its Goad

someone here who knows they’re called to leave

and not somebody else’s good idea for me, and she

their job and go and follow the God of Elijah and

said “I think God will be okay with that” and off

I’m going to ask them to come and show

she went.

themselves, so that was a big moment for me and I

Then the words in the lift came back to me “O God,

knew that was God speaking to me again.

if you get me out of here, I will serve you full time forever”. I thought “here” meaning the lift, but

WEW: Had the Spirit of God revealed that to you?

what it meant was God get me out of this claustrophobic fear, which I had now been set free

JSJ: I knew I was being called out but I didn’t

from. That was the beginning; people started

know the timing, I knew I would be doing healing

coming to me for prayer, of course I was still

and probably teaching, because I’d never taught at

working and my co counsellor Beryl and I started

that point. I came out at the end December 1992

going up to Ellel Grange for more training and they

and went on the Ellel Ministries 9 week‘s school

said we didn’t need to come up to Ellel Grange

which is the longest one they did then and in

because they just bought a place in Eastbourne

January I knew I was in a new season. So it was like

called Glyndley Manor and it was in the South

end of sales and walked through a new door

which was a big trek up the M6. So I started going

marked healing and teaching ministry, but who

to Glyndley Manor and the ministry manager at

with, where and how I didn’t know. So it was

the time asked me if I would like to be a trainee/

really a step of faith, I mean I was called out, rather

associate prayer minister and learn with them? This

than called in…...I think it’s easier to be called into

was really me coming into Ellel, as I was literally

something (laughs), my boss at the time would ask

on the fringe; on the very first healing retreat

me who would pay your salary and I would

which I did as a trainee with a lead who was a

answer I don’t know, so I didn’t have any idea. On

retired doctor, she brought me a scripture from

the 9 week School, Peter Horrobin who is the

Isaiah 52:11, which says depart, depart, get out

founder of Ellel, took us on a church visit and I saw

from there you who carry the vessels of the Lord,

what we had been learning in the laboratory so to

you won’t go in haste when flight, but the Lord will

speak, was working in the church, I asked him if he

go before you and be your rear guard and this was

could come to my church and the first visit he

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

14 | Women Stepping! could give me was a year later in 1994, so that’s when he first came here.

Even at Christmas, when I first left work in December and went onto the 9 Week School about the 5th of January, I felt God wake me up one night and I was fully awake and I felt God say, “you haven’t been fully obedient”.

WEW: I read that bit in your book and we will come to that a bit later.

WEW: Your profile describes you as a successful business woman before becoming the director of Ellel Ministries. How does business then differ from doing Business for the Kingdom?

JSJ: What we’re doing doesn’t really change because if you come into a ministry, it still has to

make enough money to pay its bills, so you can’t be devoid of business in a church of ministry. The principles would stay the same, but the motivation for doing it is not to get rich quick, it’s actually to build the Kingdom but your first priority is actually to build the Kingdom and have a passion for the Kingdom and that should be your first thought in the morning and last thing at night, it’s the sense of urgency in getting the full gospel

message out.

WEW: There is so much logistics with finance, how do you actually encourage those who have a passion for God and are doing something, but have a lack of funds to carry out their vision.

JSJ: We can be very passionate and excited, especially something new that is kicking off, but

we must wait for God and we must follow God, we can’t race ahead of God, there are people with a lot of enthusiasm and not enough wisdom WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Women Stepping! | 15 falling fat on their face and you can’t blame God for that; I think we have to wait on God, know His Call and He is able to confirm His call to us twice. Its import to wait for God’s timing, and again we don’t want to lag behind God, there is a sort of knowing, a comfort in your spirit when you actually know the time is right to make the change and obey His call.

WEW: What was the final straw that led you to answer God’s call to ministry?

JSJ: I really felt that the two scriptures coming from two different people was a prompting, I knew I was going to go, the confirmation came in July and December and I knew it was time to go.

Really it’s not knowing so much what you’re

meant to do, but having the courage to do it.

WEW: A lot of people ask the question “how am I going to survive”? Did you ever as that question yourself?

JSJ: When I think about it, I had my last pay cheque in December 1992 and we didn’t see PierrePont until July 1994; I knew PierrePont was

where God was sending me, when I had the vision of the globe, but when I look back I realised that it took a lot of courage to leave not knowing what I was going to do. So I had 9 months in 1993 as I was at the school and another whole year in 1994 and didn’t know what I was to do next, and I felt God was saying “get on with what’s in your hand”, just do what’s in front of you.

I think people look for a label or a status and that’s not really going to work. We didn’t wait for a label; I just started up with this friend of mine

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

16 | Women Stepping!

Beryl and we got together as a duo because I

I didn’t have money in the bank so to speak, but

think God does say go in twos and we just spent

it all worked.

every minute praying for people and in that time

God sent us one of everything, we had an

WEW: There are women out there who are not

alcoholic, a schizophrenic, we were doing long

married and have this call to go and do God’s

term ministry, not just praying for people at the

work, and their dilemma is do they get a part

end of church.

time job, do they trust God immensely, what would you say to such a woman?

WEW: When you said God told you to get on with what’s in front of you, did you know what

JSJ: I think God does it differently with

that was?

different people, first of all I think you must be absolutely sure that you know, that you know,

JSJ: I was in the church and the Pastor said “ok,

that you know this is God Calling you and not

you and Beryl go and pray, you can set up a

your good idea or somebody else’s good idea and

ministry team and you can pray for people and

then if you need to tent make as Paul calls it,

that was the door that was in front of me.

work in McDonalds or Tesco; we don’t need a lot of money and it’s important that during the

WEW: How did you survive financially?

transition you keep your needs small. For me it wasn’t a big issue, I thought, God if you’re calling

JSJ: My husband was working, so we had come

me to do this, then You need to provide for me.

to the end of the mortgage and people would

give me the odd gift and it just worked. I was

Practically I took out all my direct debits in my

very fortunate; my managing director bought me

account; I didn’t know what was going to come

a car before I left work. I didn’t really need much,

into the bank so I couldn’t afford to have direct

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Women Stepping! | 17

debits. I learnt not to live on credit and I would

charge our first fees. We do all our healing for

say to any woman who wants to work for God,

nothing, but we charge people to attend the

to be very careful about debt, because debt

NET’s School to pay our bills.

holds us back from being free to go for the gospel.

WEW: What brought about your book – The Miracles of PierrePont?

WEW: How has your role at Ellel Ministries developed your relationship with God?

JSJ: The miracles have been so amazing and have come one after the other and I thought

JSJ: I’m j ust a totally different person, we saw

before I lay down my role as director; I really

PierrePont in 1994 and God gave me the vision

need to write this up so that others can read

of the globe and I knew people from every

about the experiences and the miracles we’ve

nation of the world would come here to be

experienced. The book was published early this

equipped and trained and God had asked me to

year. It was quite a challenge because I’m

establish and lead the work. Taking over

actually a communicator by speaking, than I am

PierrePont was a huge challenge, the place was

a communicator by writing.

derelict, it had gone bankrupt, you don’t go bankrupt overnight, there had been no

WEW: In Chapter 2 Dealing with the

investment or anything, the place was a mess,

Ploughing Equipment, you beautifully used

and everywhere you looked needed a coat of

the story of Elisha who had to go and settle his

paint, we had no furniture, we had auctioneers

equipment before following Elijah, to describe

in to take a look, we prayed in the money and

how you had to deal with your

that didn’t come in, then we went for a

commendations in sales and

mortgage and many didn’t take us seriously,

marketing….what do you think is the major

many turned away then, their belief was…if this

issue hindering women who have a Kingdom

is God, then God will send old Mr Billions over

mandate on their lives to be fully obedient to

the hill to pay for the mortgage and that didn’t

the call?

happen, so now we had to service a mortgage without any income and God had said that we

JSJ: One of the things to say to women who

should charge for the teaching and give your

are called is that if God gives you’re a scripture,

healing away and that’s how we paid for the

read it inside out, know every line, unpack it,

bills, except we couldn’t charge for the teaching

know exactly what God is saying to you,

because we didn’t have any chairs for people to

because it’s very easy to do the big things and

sit on, so we bought in February 1995 and it was

miss the smaller things. I left my employment in

2 years later before we were geared up to

obedience to God, but what God said to me is

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

18 | Women Stepping! partial obedience is disobedience and that’s quite

women that are most empowered when their

hard to hear. We can’t be selectively obedient; I

underneath male headship covering. Not

think the difficulty is that very often we struggle

leadership, because I don’t think leadership is

with the small things and I hadn’t got rid of my

male, but headship is male and as such we come

accreditations and commendations and when I

underneath our husband’s covering, or we come

did I had a huge experience of the Holy Spirit

underneath our leaders or elders. I think we

and God said the Holy Spirit is my accreditation,

misunderstand what covering is, covering isn’t a

because this is a new season and new timing.

negative, if we come under good godly, spiritual

God really calls young people to do major

covering, it’s about direction, it’s about protection

achievements for God, you’ve got to go through

and it’s about correction.

the testing, the refiners fire, you’ve got to be willing to submit to authority, particularly very

If nobody can correct you, then what’s to stop

strong women we want to get out there and go

you going off track? I think I want to be under

and we’ve got to be willing to submit to authority

male headship authority and covering, because I

and we have to learn to have a really clear

think a woman is most empowered and the

understanding, write it down, be very clear, test

headship covering can’t be to hold her back or to

it against the word of God, how do I know it was

be threatened by a strong woman because that’s

God who told me? Does anybody else agree with

just ungodly, we we’ve got mentors who cover

that? How did I weight and test that outside of

the leadership team who are very godly men and

myself? Not…..God’s told me and we run off and

are looking for us to get it better and very wise

do something else.

and gracious in how it’s done. I don’t think any of us can fight against such headship when it

I believe that men and women must be set aside

comes in such a godly way.

by others with the authority to do so. In the New Testament it talks about how it felt right to them

WEW: What about women who are married,

and the Holy Spirit to set aside……..for me I

who have a call to go out and do God’s work,

knew God had said I want you to establish the

but their husbands are stopping them?

work and run it, but when Peter Horrobin came along and asked me, then we were anointed with

JSJ: Is the husband truly a believer?

oil and then set aside by the then leaders of Ellel head office to come and do the work here. I think

WEW: There are husbands who are threatened

there’s something in safety in that, if we rush off

maybe, they stop their wives from answering the

and have ‘Mary Smith Ministries’ and nobody

call and instead want her to go out and work,

has set her aside and she’s not accountable to

bills need to be paid and all that…

anybody and she’s doing her own thing with great enthusiasm, hmm, I’m not so sure about

JSJ: I think that’s ungodly of the man. Marriage

that, I think it’s in the strategy of God to have

is a very special partnership and the husband

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Women Stepping! | 19

I got married in 2010 to my current husband because my previous husband died and I sat down very carefully with him and said this is a major call of God on my life. He lived in Macclesfield and there was no way I was going to live in Macclesfield and commute down to the south. I am called to travel; I’m called to

teach in many countries of the world, it would involve a huge amount of time being away from home, it would involve continue to establish the work of God and being passionate about the school; and I told him to go away and think about whether or not he wanted to be part of that because I didn’t want any difficulty downstream; and he had to think and ask God so that it was clear to him. I think it’s important

to get it all sorted before you make the union.

WEW: Would you say obeying God’s instructions in doing away with your credentials was the beginning of trusting God needs to listen to his wife and the wife to her

on a higher level?

husband, but if the wife feels called by God to go and do something, it probably needs

JSJ: I think it was recognising that to God

weighing and testing with somebody else that

obedience in the small thing was just as

they both respect, there’s wisdom in the council

important as obedience in the big thing and I

of many. For a husband to hold his wife back

think that’s difficult to all of us and look at why

from the call of God on her life is very

Moses didn’t go into the Promise Land, you

dangerous because he will stand before God

wonder, God told him to speak to the rock and

and give account one day and if it’s truly the

he struck it and he didn’t go into the Promise

call of God and he’s blocked it, I think God’s

Land, it all sounds trivial doesn’t it? And

going to have something to say about that.

actually he wasn’t obedient in the small thing,

However if a woman is a minister before she get

after he dragged half of the people through the

married then the husband should know about

wilderness for forty years you think he should

her commitment to her call. If it’s a problem

have gone into the promise land, I think we

still, it could be that the marriage is out of godly

miss the fact that God requires us to be obedient

order.

in the small things, just as much as the big things.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

20 | Women Stepping! fatherless generation that God never intended WEW: I love it when God said to you “Now the

and one of the things for women is how to be a

Holy Spirit will be your credentials” how do

parent, how to raise the next generation for God

you think we can be more open to the Holy

in this absolutely fast changing world. Leaving

Spirit directing us as a person and not as a mere

God out of education, leaving God out of our

dove?

community life very largely, taking crosses out of the church, this is the fruit of saying we don’t

JSJ: Wrongly taught people haven’t got an

need God. Therefore, people are brought up

understanding of the things of God. The Holy

without the biblical teachings and of course

Spirit is the Spirit of Jesus Christ and without the

there’s no railway tracks for this train to come

Holy Spirit we cannot make, I think it’s very

along, everything is off track all the time and

important to recognise the empowerment of the

nobody knows where the boundaries are; when

Holy Spirit when we’re talking about Women

we now look at bringing healing to people,

Empowering Women, well actually what

removing the mask that we live behind,

empowers us is the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ

discovering our true identity in God is and that

and that’s pretty important and allowing Him

we can hold our heads up high, knowing what it

free reign in us and not having pockets where He

means to be chosen children of the King. There

can’t go or I’ll give you this but not that and that

are people who suffer so much depression

really is surrendering to God. Dying to self is

because if you don’t have God in your life, where

daily; you can’t die to self and take it back

is the plumb line from right or wrong. How do

tomorrow.

we bring up the next generation to be grounded and anchored in anything, we’re already picking

WEW: What do you think God has called Ellel

people who are completely fatherless, boundless,

Ministries to do in the lives of His People?

low self-esteem, prone to depression and its huge. Do you know that the biggest killer in this

JSJ: It’s absolutely huge really, obviously

country in the under 34 year olds is suicide? This

healing in the spirit, soul and body. But things

is the youth generation that is being trashed, it’s

like ‘Identity’, many people do not have an

totally massive. Ellel Ministries is to instil the

understanding of identity, they’ve got identity

God identity and teaching that Christianity is not

confusion and we’re now up against a lot of

a religion, it’s actually a relationship with the

gender confusion, people start life as a boy and

Living God, without which we are all lost.

want to be a girl, there’s a lot of confusion where does that come from? Not knowing who they are;

WEW: Could you talk us through the four stages

people who’ve had traumatic childhood, father’s

of the NETS programme?

pushed off, mother has another boyfriend and all the rest of it, they go through huge rejection and

JSJ: We j ust started stage one, we do 2 stages in

feeling their nuisance. We’re coming into a

parallel, Stage One and Stage Three and at

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Women Stepping! | 21

Christmas which is the end of the term; in

something called the 9/11 and people were

January Stage One becomes Stage Two and

coming through the UK saying they’ve come to

Stage Three becomes stage four.

do the 9/11 Training School (laughs) and so they

We do a new intake every October and every

got pulled out of line. We kept the NETs but

April. It’s a year’s training.

changed it to Never Ever the Same.com.

Stage One is 10 weeks and at Christmas we

There is something called the flagship which is

have 3 weeks off and back in January and then

run through head office, which is a 9 week

onto stage Two. We come back in Easter and it

school and it’s a sort of condensed version of

goes to Stage Three. Some people only come

NETs but it’s very intense, so they come for 9

and do Stage One and Two and come back

weeks and for people who haven’t got a year of

years later to finish Stage Three and Four. The

6 months, that’s all they can afford the time to

curriculum is in sequence of order so you can’t

do the 9 week course.

join the programme in the middle; one has to start at the beginning. The foundation scripture

WEW: What would you say are some of the

for Ellel is Luke 9:11 Jesus welcomed the

profound ways that God has revealed Himself

people, He taught them about the Kingdom and

in Ellel Ministries?

then He healed those in need. In 1997 we had NETs One first training school ever and 9/11

JSJ: Absolutely huge really, when we pray for

Training School, well of course in 2001 we had

someone, we don’t have a formula, i.e. these are

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

22 | Women Stepping! the hurdles we’re going to deal with etc. etc. We

last Friday Never Ever Quit.

listen to God for the person and wait to hear what

Looking at how Jesus endured the Cross

He wants to deal with for the day and we also

despising the shame for the joy that was yet to

agree with the person where we going to in

come; and I think it’s learning to hang on in there,

prayer ministry. So we have words of knowledge,

even when it looks pretty dyer. Endurance,

God says the most amazing things which can’t

perseverance, long suffering are qualities of an

mean anything, but when we say it to the person,

Empowered Woman.

they agree and understand what God is saying to them. We’ve seen God as our provider we have

I hear nowadays we’re in the dispensation of the

not government backing and big properties to

apostolic prophetic church and God is raising

maintain. God is our provider and we’re a faith

prophets and apostles to usher in the 2nd

mission, we’re taking steps of faith, but not

Coming of Christ, what are your views about

outside of God, I think there’s a very fine line

this?

between faith and presumption, trying to keep in step with God. When we got the building it was

I think my call was apostolic; apostolic simply

derelict, we use a lot of volunteers for labour and

means called out one and God has called me to

we have donors that give so much.

various places; I think the calling is apostolic, rather than give yourself a label. The apostolic

WEW: What would you say is your

call is to go out in the Name of God and the

understanding of an Empowered Woman?

Power of the Holy Spirit to build something that didn’t exist before and of course there were

JSJ: I think a submitted woman, a woman who

female apostles in those days; even Paul said it in

submits to Our Lord Jesus Christ; it’s easy to

his writings, “I greet my fellow Apostle Junia”

accept Jesus as our Saviour, but actually He is not

and she was a woman. I think it’s the calling

Lord, a full complete surrender; and our heart

that’s apostolic, rather than giving yourself a

always pursuing God, having a hunger and thirst

label. If you’re apostolic means you’re will to go

after God, as an empowered woman we must

and kick in the doors for God and make

learn not to defend ourselves during a personal

something happen in a new place. All Paul did

attack, allowing God be our shield and personal

was he planted churches where it didn’t exist

defender not having to jump to our own defence.

before; so if you’re building something that

I like the story of Nehemiah, he had a clear call go

didn’t exist before that called and apostolic

and build the gates and it wasn’t very long before

anointing. Apostolic calls have to have prophetic

Sanballat and Tobias and they tried everything

edges, because the whole vision is prophetic, the

they could to get Nehemiah to come of the wall. I

vision of the globe is prophetic; the vision I had

think that’s the same with empowered woman,

of the angel is prophetic. I think we are in the

they have to stay on the wall that God has called

apostolic age. I hope that God will release the

us to build come what may. I spoke to a group

true prophetic, because we have so much flaky

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

prophetic and we have to be very careful of

She however isn’t in the same genre as Elijah

people who set themselves up as prophets, we

and Ezekiel. The whole litmus test of a prophet

have to be aware of that, whose authority are

is whether what they prophesied will come to

they under and who set them apart? They have

pass.

to be under godly covering that they’re fully submitted to, because there’s nothing like a

WEW: How do you marry your role as a wife

prophetic person who has no godly covering,

and your role as director of an international

they could be true prophets, but if it’s not under

ministry?

godly covering it can go in the wrong direction.

Nobody doubts that God has given them a

JSJ: With difficulty is the answer (chuckles),

prophetic anointing, but where it all goes wrong

I’m a task person, so I’m motivated by doing

is when there is no spiritual authority.

and there’s a lot to do, so I have to prioritise my task in what needs to be done. I would be very

There is the Office of the Prophet like Elijah and

careful that I schedule in quality time with my

Jeremiah and there’s the gift of the prophecy

husband, I sometimes stay with him to watch

and there poles apart. Anyone can operate in

the football with him; checking with your

the gift of prophecy, but I wouldn’t stand up

husband whether it’s ok.

and say I operate in the Office of the Prophet.

The Office of the Prophet’s role is very specific

WEW: How can our readers access your

and you actually don’t see many women in the

resources?

bible who had the role of the prophet, you had

http://www.nevereverthesame.com/

Anna who was a prophetess and the daughters

fridaysermons/

of Phillip who prophesied, Deborah was a judge

https://plus.google.com/u/0/

and she was probably the nearest you can get to

b/112821291452961210810/1128212914529612108

a prophet, but even the men said we won’t go

10/videos

out to fight the war unless you come with us.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

24 | Her Style

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Style | 25

By Ayoola Bandele

Y

our inner strength and outer appearance are inner empowerment embedded in all human creatures. Though pleasurable to human senses and widely embraced to promote selfishness because people have failed to recognise the reason for its existence; to celebrate, elevate and educate all kinds of beauty both old and young, in different colours, sizes and shapes; It is a gift from God that must be channelled towards a selfless service to others and ultimately, to honour the King of kings. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Otherwise, it is vain when it fails miserably at it main purpose.

Beauty is a calling and every woman must recognise her calling in life. Queen Vashti gloriously adorned and well scented to suit King Ahasuerus' standard of beauty, embraced her beauty over her purpose. She failed to heed her calling; to honour the king at the annual banquet with her presence and as a result, she lost her

WITH A PURPOSE

Beauty

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

26 | Her Style

glory. Hadassah, nurtured and prepared for the main purpose to please the king, with a twelve month long beauty treatment—six months with oil of myrrh, followed by six months with special perfumes and ointments in the king's harem, she chose to use her beauty for a greater purpose. Though orphaned from an early age, raised by her strict, poor uncle and forced to face a bleak future in the king's harem, Hadassah heeded her calling, embraced the bigger picture, seized the opportunity presented to her and saved a nation.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Style | 27

Your beauty is your aromatic scent. It sends signals to those you must serve and to those who must serve you.

Queen Vashti failed to recognise her purpose at the palace; she missed her calling as a result. Queen Esther embraced her appearance and her inner strength for favour before the king; she became an epitome of beauty from generations to generations. Both queens taught great lessons at what beauty looks like and what it must do, you must recognise the purpose of your image and key in to its calling.

This Christmas, try the following and

take a step towards your beauty with a purpose: 

Dethrone your beauty shrine, have a wardrobe detox: Clear out your unwanted items for the homeless and the less privileged



Give a gift at Christmas: Give a gift of an image consultant to help those who feel less beautiful, to feel unique.

Starve your beauty for a purpose, have a great Christmas.

Ayoola Bandele is an image consultant who offers unique services unique and tailored to individuals and personalities. Perhaps you are looking to portray the right image for those special occasions, or you just want to declutter your wardrobe. My services are classy, sassy, edgy, cool, decent and unique. Contact me for fashion and style advice. Are you willing to work with me in becoming the real valuable, unique you? Do not hesitate to contact me.

God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly much more than you could ever ask or think of. He is about to do something GREAT. Only if you ask, seek and knock. https: silhouettetrends.com

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

28 | Her Style

LET’S TALK HOW TO START A FOOD BUSINESS FROM HOME

By Omowunmi Olunloyo

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Style | 29

I 

f you are a home cook with an amazing

food business can be risky but when preparation

recipe or idea who feels frustrated about

meets plan, with determination and discipline,

how to start a food business from home, I

success is on the horizon. During the preparation

can probably guess how you are feeling

stage, the key elements to a successful launch is

right now:



Knowing your customers



Knowing your potential challenge



Knowing your product

You long for a step by step guide in starting your food business



You want to play a bigger game and be successful than you are right now



These simple steps will help you create a brand your customers like and will buy continuously

You feel that there is so much more inside of you that you want to share and express with the world

and you will understand the food market in the process. There are some rules and regulations to selling food from home which scares many home

Perhaps the reason you want to start a new and

cooks from even exploring the possibility of

exciting food business is because:

starting a food business from home. There is no



reason for these, with guidance and support it’s

You want to stop struggling and start striving



for a home based food business. If you like to You want to move from frustration to fulfilment



a fairly simple process to get the license required

You want to change your career and be your own boss

Wouldn’t that be awesome? Yes I know that feeling and I am here to help. What if I told you that you can create the food business success you so desire and want right now? Picture it, high quality ingredients sourced, equipment & utensils checked, recipe development formulated, process finalised, packaging completed, labelling check and the finished product simply eye catching mouth-watering hmmm yum.

That is where I come in; all you need is guidance and a personalised plan for you and your business starting from where you are. Starting a

cook and like food master the 5A’s of how to start your homemade food from home in order to succeed.

5 A’s To Success...

1.

Approach

The way you think, your mind-set approach must be sound. Starting any business especially a food business requires a certain type of mindset. It comes with enormous challenges and you have to prepare yourself for the hard work, determination & dedication it takes to succeed in it. As a food entrepreneur who wants to be successful the following questions must be answered truthfully to see if you fit the bill: 

Am I a self-starter?

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

30 | Her Style 

Am I good at making decisions?



How well do I get along with different personalities?



Finances, how will you pay expenses before money starts coming into the business? As part of the plan it is important to create a cash flow system that will finance the business so that

Do I have the physical and emotional stamina to run a business?

Now that you know you are a food entrepreneur, this mind-set approach will keep

production, processing or purchasing is not stopped at any point in manufacturing. Possible channels include:

Your money

you when tough times come.

Bank

2.

Authority

Begin by researching your local authority regulations for home based food businesses. In

Grants Family Friends

general a license is required when preparing

There is no right or wrong channel what is

food for sale from your home. As long as you

important is that you understand the contract in

comply with the advice and guidance provided

place with the financier and there is a plan in

by the local authority, your home kitchen will be

place for repayment.

approved and licensed. Another option is to rent and use a licensed kitchen.

3.

Assurance

5.

Asking Price

The cost of your homemade food product should be competitive and be in the price bracket

Ingredients required for preparing your home

of similar product in its category. Choosing the

made food product should be of the finest

right price for your food product is one of the

quality. Quality assurance ensures that the right

most challenging tasks because if the price is set

thing is done in the right way and using good

too low, you may not cover all your costs and if

quality ingredients during production is the first

the price is set too high, customers may choose

step. Look for manufacturers and companies that

your competitors’ products. The right balance is

sell them and buy from them. It is cheaper to

needed to get it right. Carrying out a survey on

bulk buy so let the suppliers know, most cases

price is one of the strategies that can be used to

they will set up an account for you and this has

get the RIGHT price.

its rewards as well including bulk discount. This includes packaging as well.

Yes, owning your skill as a home cook is

definitely the first step to starting a food

4.

Accounts

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

business; and there is no elimination process of

all unknowns associated with how to start; however with preparation, planning and perseverance the chances of success is greatly

talk.

Don’t do it alone, there is help available to accomplish more in less time for you.

improved.

I will show you how to create a plan to reach So I have question for you: isn’t it time you

your goals that works for you.

started your home food business?

If you are ready to make the some changes and start earning money doing what you love let’s

Omowunmi Olunloyo or Toks, as she is also known, is an inspirational speaker and author with a true calling to motivate, educate, empower and encourage women to live their best life NOW by Finding their Place, Position and Purpose and remind them that they are Valuable to God and can live a Fulfilled Well Balanced Life. Omowunmi loves working with working mums, helping them live their best life by finding their place, position and purpose.

For more information visit Omowunmi Olunloyo Author of the Forthcoming Book: Fork & Spoon: 7 Key Elements Of Food Product Development From Concept To Launch www.omowunmiolunloyo.blogspot.co.uk

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

32 | Her Style

THE IMPORTANCE OF RAISING

In A Christ-led way

By Sephora Ochou WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Style | 33

T

he importance of raising children in the ways of the Lord is a crucial stepping stone to ensuring your child fulfils their God-given

purpose.

However,

a

challenge some parents face is how to raise godly sons in a godless culture. This article aims to explore God’s purpose for young boys to transition into

Godly men.

First of all, when raising young boys who will eventually become Men of God, it is crucial for you as parents to be leading Godly lives. As a parent, you must act as the foundation (of the Lord) and be the ones to initiate such faith into your children. The absence of Godliness amongst parents will result in raising ungodly children. Most importantly, the

absence of a Godly father could result in raising an ungodly man also. Not to say that single parent households will not provide Godly men but a Godly paternal figure will prove extremely vital for them.

The bible states that Godly parenting starts at home…

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is

old, he will not depart from it” Therefore, as parents you must evaluate your walk in Christ so that you can make yourself right with God. It is without a doubt that training up a child in worldly manner will only result in raising worldly child. Therefore it is important to raise them in a Holy way by first becoming Holy.

To add, keeping an atmosphere of God’s presence in the home is also very important. For those who are married, your husband will hold the responsibility of

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

34 | Her Style

being the head of the household. As a father they

he took heed to God’s calling and followed

will hold the responsibility of setting the

through. Moses was called to be a leader and

standard…

was given responsibility over the Israelites.

Joshua was a man of courage that entered into Ephesians 6:4 (KJV)

the promise land. These three Godly men all

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:

possessed attributes that need to be instilled in

but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of

young Christian boys at an early age; faith,

the Lord.”

leadership and courage.

This means the father leads by example by

Whilst there are many other great biblical

setting the rules in the home according to God’s

examples on how young Christian boys should

standards and living it out in front of their

be raised. Below are few tips that you may find

children, showing that he took must be obedient.

very useful (written by Whitney Hopler from

In other words, “he must be a doer of God’s

Cross Walk):

word and not just a hearer” as mentioned in James 1:22. In some homes the father disciplines

Recognise that male and female differences

and points out the wrong doings of others but

complement each other: Boys are not meant to

may not take any responsibility in addressing his

act like girls, since God has designed the genders

faults. It is important to note that a hypocritical

differently so that they will complement and

attitude, can demonstrate to the son a lack of

mutually

integrity in his father. As a result, this can create

expecting your son to behave like the girls you

a lack of accountability for your son as he grows

know, give him the freedom he needs to be

into his manhood. The fact is, when there are

himself – the way God made him to be.

benefit

each

other.

Rather

than

rules placed in the house (according to it being set to God’s standard); it is essential for both

Lead your son to an active faith: Pray often for

parents to lead by example because after all, you

your son to enjoy a growing relationship with

should be role models for your child/ren.

Jesus Christ. Keep in mind that, for faith to be relevant to males, it should be part of a heroic

There

are

many

men

in

the

bible

that

and wholehearted adventure for Jesus in which

exemplified Godly characters, and prospered

they continually submit their own wills to God’s

amongst godless cultures. These men were

will. Join a church in which your son can

Abraham, Moses and Joshua. By reading their

actively participate as He grows, and aim to be

stories in the bible, God reveals to us attributes

the best role model you can be for him through

that Godly men should possess. For instance,

your own relationship with Jesus.

Abraham was a man of faith, he believed in God;

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Style | 35 Encourage your son to use technology for

way of releasing pent-up sexual energy and

good purposes: While you should limit your

don’t worry about masturbation, but try your

son’s daily screen time (in front of screens such

best to keep him away from pornography, since

as computers, television, and video games) since

porn can be very dangerous for him.

too

much

screen

time

will

stunt

his

development, you should also encourage your

Help your son process his emotions in ways

son to use technology in ways that help him

that fit his male design: Study your son’s

pursue his interests, learn new skills, and most

emotional life for at least a week, noting the

importantly, discover God.

feelings he expresses about interactions he has with other people and the circumstances he goes

Teach your son how to develop a healthy

through in various situations. Then consider

sexuality: Talk with your son openly about sex,

how you can help him process his emotions in

answering all of his questions honestly and

ways that can work best for males, such as:

always

the

releasing stress through physical movement like

perspective that his sexuality is a good part of

exercise, using an object or a story to help

the way God has made him (rather than

express the emotions he feels, withdrawing from

something dirty that should make him feel

people so he can think more clearly about his

ashamed). Explain the many benefits of saving

emotions, or searching for a solution to the

sex until marriage – as well as the physical,

problem that has elicited challenging emotions.

emotional,

of

Be sure to give your son the freedom he needs to

ignoring God’s design for sex – so your son will

cry, as well; crying is a sign of strength, not

understand

weakness, because it signals healthy emotional

presenting

and why

information

spiritual it’s

from

consequences

important

to

wait.

Encourage your son to use physical exercise as a

processing.

Sephora Ochou is a dynamic young professional that is zealous for the Word of God.

She has a strong desire to see men and young boys fulfil their God-given purpose on earth. Moreover, Sephora is also bilingual, Women4Africa 'Young Achiever' 2014 nominee, City Brokerage and London School of Economics (LSE) Pathways to Law alumna. To add, she was once co-founder of a social enterprise called Project BISCEY that aimed to raise the career aspirations of young people. Despite having achieved so much thus far, Sephora finds herself more passionate in working for God’s Kingdom and

spreading God’s word to unbelievers so that they can be saved also. She is currently serving at Living Waters Church in Brixton. Sephora is presently doing the Leadership Mentoring for Purpose Programme at Empowered Woman The Mentoring Academy.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Style | 37

‘If a woman marries really young and didn’t grow up with anyone to teach her to hunt (i.e. take care of herself) this skill set is often lost or learned later in life.’

-Melissa Wise (paraphrased) This is one of the truths that came out of the Put It Out There Couch Tour*.

It’s a truth I came to understand because I’m one of those who married early and didn’t learn to hunt till much later in life. My approach to life was pretty passive.

I didn’t have close access to a lot of hunters growing up. I spent a lot of time in church and formed beliefs around what I heard (and saw) and what I heard (and saw) fed passiveness. Then there was the season when I heard that if I followed this magical formula, I could get anything and everything I wanted with little effort on my part.

Then I ran into the Sovereign God… that’s a blog post for another day.

Hey, I was young and didn’t have the wherewithal to rightly divide or know to look for balance.

And for the record, there’s no blame or shade being thrown. This is how I processed what I heard and saw and as an adult had to unravel and sort out.

My goal through this post is to encourage women who never learned how to hunt i.e. take care of themselves

or pursue purpose. Women, who are simply waiting in their lives, don’t understand the wait and are frustrated beyond belief.

I promise I understand.

The truth is you need to learn how to farm (wait on the Lord, don’t get weary in well doing) and how to hunt (take up your bed and walk, go and possess the land). You need both.

There are times when you’ll sow good deeds and those come back at the right time and bless your life. Then there are times you’ll be in places that totally vex you but it’s you who’s being cultivated so good fruit can come forth.

Tales From Our Garden Since we’ve successfully planted a garden, I’ve learned that farming requires a certain set of skills and knowledge. It’s not a passive activity at all. But it’s the do all you can do and hope for a harvest at harvest time. There are so many things out of your control like the amount of rain you’ll get. Too much rain is a bad thing. Then there’s too much sun and drought like conditions. All these things can impact your harvest and you simply have to pray for the best and wait and see.

Faith without works is dead That phrase screams anything but passivity.

The sad thing is a lot of the so-called faith in action I saw was going to the car lot with subpar credit and walking off WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

38 | Her Style the lot with a shiny new ride with a sky-high interest rate.

It’s the elder teaching the younger like the bible teaches.

Sigh.

I didn’t see the hunt up close and personal.

Young girls, young men need people in their life who will teach them how to successfully sow and hunt.

I didn’t learn the art of the hustle till much later in life.

That’s part of the reason This Woman Knows exist today.

I thought that if I made one or two phone calls I had done my part and God would make up the rest.

It’s here to mentor and encourage women who didn’t have a Jonathan to show them how to behave in the palace or a Naomi to teach them custom and protocol.

Laughable right?

Just like you need a seasoned farmer to show you how to work soil, you need someone to teach you the art of the hunt. Someone to teach you how to track, stalk and pursue your prey and come home with the spoil.

If you’re currently waiting and frustrated, waiting and mad, waiting and disappointed, maybe it’s time to pick up a bow and arrow while you’re waiting for your crop to come in. #ThisWomanKnows is here for you.

Lisa N. Alexander or the author of This Woman Knows and Put It Out There! 5 Steps to Kick Fear’s Butt and Move Your Dream Forward. She is a motivational and professional speaker speaking on topics ranging from women’s empowerment to successfully marketing your business. Out of her book, This Woman Knows came the movement where Lisa travels empowering women to become women who know. Lisa currently lives in Houston, Texas with her husband of 27 years and their youngest son and a rambunctious Labrador named Kobe. *Put It Out There Couch Tour is a traveling event where Lisa encourages groups of women to overcome their fears and put whatever it is that God has given them out there.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness | 39

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WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

CRACKED

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness| 41

T

hey were women of questionable moral a shock to God. He factored in all the mistakes, bad character. Many of us today would

judgments, stinky attitudes, poor moral standards

have turned up a brow and snubbed

and horrendous errors we are bound to make in

them. Not many were keen to be in

our lifetime. He took stock of all that and engrafted

their company or wanted to be seen associating

our shortfalls into the price that His son Jesus

with them. Even in a society like ours today which

Christ had to pay on the cross.

seems to have evolved and embraced all manner of modern advancements, these women still risked

I strongly believe that among the many thrilling

being castigated.

accounts on faith, prayer, healing, and a host of others; God threw in stories like

Not

BROKEN Still fit for the Master’s use

By Joanna Amoako

those of the above mentioned women to show us something about His nature. These women’s

lives teach us many invaluable lessons. On the peripheral, there is no denying that the promiscuous behavior of both the adulterous woman referred to in John chapter

I am referring to the adulterous woman in John 8:1- 8 and the Samaritan woman does not serve as a 11, Rahab the harlot in Joshua 2, the Samaritan

good moral example. However, God demonstrates

woman whose account is recorded in John 4:1-26

His unconditional love to mankind through His

and even in some respect Tamar (Genesis 38). Have response and reaction to these women. When

you really ever wondered why God made sure to

everyone was quick to judge, point accusing fingers

include the stories of these women in the Bible? The and banish them, Jesus gives them a new lease to Bible I thought is a Holy book and as such must

life. He redefined their identity and imputed His

contain pious accounts of heroes and heroines. Isn’t righteousness upon them. it interesting how God does things! What is perceived negatively in the eyes of man is deemed

We all have a shortfall, a weakness or something in

as pleasant from God’s point of view.

our past that we are either too embarrassed or ashamed to divulge for fear of being alienated or

The Bible is clear that after creation God took a look judged by others. In fact, there might even be at His handiwork and was immensely pleased with things in our lives that we are still grappling with.

His masterpiece. There is nothing that we do that is Should the light be shone on certain secret areas in

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

42 | Her Wholeness

our lives, it would be a real shock to those around

some who may be reading this piece, your darkest

us who think they know us really well. We cannot

fears are in the closet of your memories.

be pious by the strength of our own will-power.

We can only ride on the abundant grace of God.

Every flash-back and reflection of the past opens up gruesome emotional feelings. Scars from words

Among these women, the one who really stands

that have been spoken carelessly which have sliced

out for me is Rahab. I must admit that I really love

through the depths of your emotions leaving

Rahab! She was and still remains a very

perpetual bruises. Many try to patch them up with

remarkable woman in my eyes. How a woman

the bandage of fame, success and cosmetics but to

with a very ‘controversial’, ‘contentious’,

no avail.

‘repulsive’ and ‘degrading’ background could be recorded among the lineage of a heralded king,

My mandate is to speak out to every closeted

redeemer and savior of the world is jaw dropping

individual who is grappling with any destabilizing

and mind blowing. This is a sure sign of what God

issue that has held you ransom to your future and

can do with a person He chooses to accomplish His

the destiny that God has for you. Your past does

purposes and plans. Not in a million years would

not matter so far as your future is concerned. You

it have been likely that when the family tree of a

may have sustained some bruises, you may require

renowned personality like Jesus is being recounted

some patching up here and there and you might

we could find an individual whom by society’s

have to limp your way through. Irrespective of the

description falls below the status quo.

odds that may have stacked up against you in the past, the future is yet to be savoured. Why deny

You see! God uses what is so-called ‘trash’ by

yourself the chance of what the future has to offer?

human beings to accomplish great unfathomable things. Who ever told you that in spite of your

If a prostitute could make such an impact in

background God cannot use you to fulfill His

history such that her name has made headline

divine purpose on earth? Like clay is in the hand of

news in the Bible, I bet you that your situation isn’t

a potter, so are you in the hands of God. He can

that worse off. It is probably true that you may

mold your past with all its gory details into fine

have sustained some chips and cracks, but that

china fit for use in the royal palace. Your past may

does not change the fact that in God’s original plan

not be a pleasant memory. It could be that it holds

concerning your life, He designed you as a piece of

very painful memories of betrayal, deception, lies,

precious fine china. There is nothing in your

abuse, treachery, exploitation and ill-treatment. For

personality that is otherwise. Once God designed, patterned and molded you into a valuable person

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness | 43

destined to do great things that is what you

any alternative name that has been associated with

ultimately remain to become.

you because of the issues, mistakes and shortcomings from your past. Let go of what is

There is nothing in life that you will ever

gone and lay hold to your future. There is still so

experience that will change God’s plan concerning

much in you that God needs to harness and utilize

your life. I charge you to gird up your loins

for the fulfilment of His will, desires, plans and

because there is greatness in you. Do not accept

purposes.

Joanna Amoako is a successful published author, freelance writer and editor with a

highly passionate personality. Her debut publication "Keep Your Posture When the

Storms are Raging" highlights her sensational story of resilience and enduring faith.

Her latest release "Enforcing Your Destiny - contending with your prophetic word" is a destiny changing book and a definite must-read. She has also been involved in collaborative projects with seasoned and renowned authors.

Joanna's area of calling is in the Worship Ministry and she functions within this capacity as a singer, song-writer and dynamic worship leader. The Lord keeps pouring His unction upon her and using her gifts to be of tremendous blessing to the Body of Christ.

Joanna's dynamic ministration always brings an aura of healing, hope and refreshment to the soul.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

I AM

Married TO A

MARRIED PERSON

By Shareeff De La Cruz

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness | 45

W

e live in a day and age

When getting into a new relationship people

where so many desire

always tend to put their best foot forward;

companionship. There are

It’s a guessing game…. could this really be

several dating sites and

the one? He or she is doing everything I ever

now even apps. Helping one find love has

loved and if you were in a bad relationship

become a huge money making scheme.

where you were the sole giver, to be in a

Christian dating has also entered into this

position to receive is mind blowing. You are

thriving business of love connection.

swept off your feet by the slightest wind of change. Women like to call it butterflies in

We’re always excited to match someone

the stomach while men brag about how she

together based upon surface desires. We also

makes him feel like a man’s man. Both are on

get elated to show off our new love interest

an emotional high of feelings that they’re

but there’s one problem, they were still

blinded by the truth that lies beneath the

married and forgot to tell you. I know you

glow.

may ask what I am speaking about.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

46 | Her Wholeness Focusing on how one is making you feel hinders

By no means am I saying that you have to be

you from seeing how they really feel. Now, you’re

perfect before engaging another person. I am

three months into the relationship, heads over hills,

saying there are issues we’ve been married and if

and confident to a degree that this person could be

we made the decision to divorce the poison, we

the one. Yes, you are absolutely right! That person

could control many of our relationships and they

is the one but the other person that you never

would never end with divorce.

knew is not. See, you only got to know half of the

person which means you were never dating a

Being single is a good thing. It’s a time to discover

whole person. Often times we hate the single phase

who you really are. It’s a time to become the best

of life so bad that we don’t recognize that it’s the

version of you, a moment where you are validated

season where we can become a whole person.

by self and not by the interpretation of another. I encourage everyone to stop for a moment and

We rather run from the true identity of what we

identify all of the toxic ways that you are married

are hoping to discover, the “other half” of us in

to and demand that you file the paperwork for an

another person. What internally happens is that

immediate divorce. Sometimes it takes time, so

many people enter into relationships while

enjoy being single to get you right. If you’re

married to toxic ways, seeds that have been

already in a relationship or married, sit your

planted but yet we ignore them. Therefore, if I had

significant other down and simply say “I’m Sorry!”

bad issues of cheating, prior to my significant other

these are my issues and I’ve had them for some

and I never sought the help to divorce that spirit,

time. I need your help!

I’ve now brought that into my marriage.

Honesty is always best. Put pride and ego aside, The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “when I meet

it’s okay to acknowledge that you are not perfect.

that person I’ll become a better person.” News

God created us perfectly in his image, however we

flash, becoming better is a choice. No one can make

are all flaws. Take a moment and decide to not be

you better if you do not decide to do better. If your

married to a married person by first committing to

will to change is dictated by the other person then

divorce the toxic side of you. Once you’re complete

you’ll never change. So many people are in

you then can no longer be blind. We have to

relationships married to things that are destroying

destroy the cycle of soul ties mixed with bad life

them but yet blaming the other person and not

experiences. There comes a moment in life when

looking at self. We have become a society of people

we have to forgive ourselves to move forward.

settling to be in half relationships. Very few people are 100% whole.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness | 47

Shareeff De La Cruz is a gifted voice for the 21st Century. His life story, his work, and

his vision are set to motivate the masses with an emphasis on young adults and youth to overcome adversity and to embrace the comeback season in their lives.

As an Intern, A&R, Manager, and Music Publisher, in the music industry for 12 years, Shareeff has worked with artists such as Jagged Edge, Jazze Pha, Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins, Tiffany Evans, Ciara, and Cee Lo Green. Shareeff discovered the emerging talent of August Alsina and he mentored and nurtured him from the age of 14 to 18. His experiences in the music industry have prepared and primed him to cultivate and reach audiences with messages that touch their hearts and resonate across cultures.

Shareeff is aware that his personal relationship with God led him out of a life of destruction and into divine opportunities to live the life he was destined to live. His life’s mission is to help others become aware of the potential for their lives, and to facilitate greatness in the lives of many. He is a motivational speaker, personal coach, and inspirational author. Shareeff’s first book "The Challenge" was published in 2011 and is available via Amazon.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Loving Through

DEMENTIA

By Janet Stevenson

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness | 49

D

ad had worked full-time until he

I had become a Christian at the age of 14 and had

was 87, when he developed a

prayed all my life for my parents’ salvation. I’d

strangulated hernia. After his

led my mother to Christ on her deathbed. Now it

operation, his personality changed

seemed that Dad would be robbed of his mind,

dramatically. I struggled with the aggression and

unable to comprehend the wonderful gift of life

angry words as I tried to help. The

that was on offer to him. On every occasion that I

physiotherapist suspected dementia, and he

had tried to speak to Dad about Christ, he told me

turned out to be right. After a verbal test in which

he didn’t believe and never would. I was in

he performed poorly, he then had a CT scan that

despair.

showed he had vascular dementia.

At church, some Christian friends asked after my Over the four years that followed, he gradually

father and I broke down in tears. They prayed

deteriorated physically and mentally. It was

with me and encouraged me to continue to

heartbreaking to witness. He became

believe. That afternoon, I visited him in hospital.

argumentative and difficult, no longer the father I

By this stage of his life, he was barely able to

knew. He said some hateful things to me and I

string a few words together to make a sentence.

was reduced to tears many times. He had no

Dad had become like a little child in his mental

recollection of what he’d said, of course. He was

capacities. Matthew 24:14 says, "Let the little

frustrated and depressed and it was difficult for

children come to me, and do not hinder them, for

him. The Lord gave me grace to honor and

the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

respect my father, even in these difficult moments.

I asked him if I could read to him from the Bible and, amazingly, he said, “Yeah”. I read from John

My brother and I managed to care for him at

3, where Jesus talks to Nicodemus about being

home. As time went on and his personal hygiene

born again. I asked him if he understood and he

became a problem, we tried to find ways to get

said, “Yeah” again. I then read from Revelation 3:

him to wash – even to change his clothes. He

20, which says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and

became confused about whether it was day or

knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the

night, and his sleeping habits were erratic.

door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” I asked Dad if he understood that

Then, one very cold January night, he went out in

Jesus was knocking at the door of his life, and

the early hours, presumably thinking he was

again he said, “Yeah”. I then asked him if he

going to the local corner shop. He slipped on the

wanted to repent and accept Jesus’ love and

ice and fell, and was unable to get up again.

forgiveness and have Jesus come into his life. He

Fortunately, someone found him, called an

said, “Yeah!” As I prayed, I heard him breathing

ambulance and he was taken into A&E. The first

out, “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” and I knew that he had

we knew of it was when the hospital called.

accepted Christ into his life. Despite Dad’s rejection of the gospel all his life, I continued to

They treated him for a urinary tract infection and

pray in faith that he would be saved. God had

hypothermia, and eventually he was able to come

answered my prayer and brought him to

home again. We had to put measures in place to

salvation. I skipped out of the hospital, rejoicing in

ensure he could not let himself out of the house

the Lord.

again. It was a constant worry.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

50 | Her Wholeness He was discharged from hospital and went back home

If you are dealing with and caring for a loved one with

again. Over the next few weeks, he diminished further

dementia, I urge you to:

and conversation became increasingly difficult. On

Set aside time every day to read God’s Word, pray and

Christmas Eve 2013, he rose in the middle of the night,

worship him. Hebrews 4: 16 tells us, “Let us then

fell on his knees and could not get up again. When my

approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that

brother found him, he was delirious. He called the

we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our

doctor and Dad was admitted to hospital later that day.

time of need.” He understands.

He had deep vein thrombosis as a result of being on his

Ask your church family and Christian friends to pray.

knees for some hours, and lost the use of his legs. After

Prayer changes things.

two months, he was discharged and taken into a

Seek support from Christian friends you can be real

nursing home, as he needed full-time care. There he

with, who understand your struggle and who can come

caught a tummy bug and that finished him off. My

alongside you.

brother and I were with him as he breathed his last breath.

God gives us difficult times for a reason. The Lord

Dementia is a very cruel illness, robbing people of their

used my Dad’s dementia to soften my heart, humble

mental capacities and robbing family and friends of the

me and grow me in God’s grace. God is now using my

person they once knew. This was a very challenging

experiences to come alongside and support others

time of my life but, because of it, my relationship with

struggling to cope with dementia, as a friend, life coach

God has deepened as I learned to rely on him more and

and counsellor.

more.

Janet Stevenson, the founder and owner of Train2Grow, is an experienced consultant, trainer, coach and counselor. She is passionate about facilitating positive radical change and personal growth in people’s lives both personally and professionally. Her style is facilitative and participative, using NLP, Non-Verbal Intelligence, Transactional Analysis and brain-friendly techniques. She runs management and leadership programmes, is a licensed Springboard and Renew-You trainer, and also offers team and psychometric profiling using Belbin, Strength Deployment Inventory (SDA) and MiRo Behavioral Mode Assessment. Janet has trained thousands of delegates in both the public and private sector, and enjoys working with people at all levels – chief executives, senior management teams and those in customer-facing roles. Her style is open, communicative, empathic and friendly; she is a skilled listener and easily engages with people. She creates a stimulating learning environment, where she encourages individuals to participate and think.

She is a contributing author to a number of books for women: 

“How to Break the Glass Ceiling without a Hammer – Career Strategies for Women”



“The Power of a Woman – Embracing the Woman Within”



“Madam CEO – How to Think and Act like an Executive”



“Leaders in Pearls – How to Be a Change Architect”

“Breaking Free – Overcoming Self-Sabotage” WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Wholeness | 51

A

clique is a group of friends that

Listed below are reasons why you should not

pick and choose who is in their

join a clique.

group and they leave certain

LOSS OF IDENTITY

people out on purpose. When you

are with others and start to notice that you are no

When you join a clique there is always a stronger

longer yourself or you stop voicing your true

personality or a few others that want to control

opinion then you are probably in a clique.

you. And because you want to fit in and be

Every young girl wants to be respected and liked by her peers. Joining a clique may be a way in which a girl seeks approval but being in a clique can be detrimental to her self esteem and self worth.

accepted, you may find yourself not being authentic. In other words, you are not keeping it real. You won’t speak out. You will agree with everything that the clique says or does just to fit it. Stop it. Be your own person. Find your own

www.wewmagazine.com WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

PERMISSIVE PARENT At Christmas

By Amma Frimpong

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness | 53

I

t’s the time of year that the songs that are resounding in the shops and alleys and temple gates are carols from of old and new. Christmas lights are already lit especially in the busy city centres and families are thinking of how to have

the best Christmas themed decoration in front of their homes for passers-by to admire and take selfies. In the midst of the busyness of this season, I can envisage some parents who are often driven

by the need for their children’s approval or to be their children’s best friends.

The permissive parent is very much loved by all the high street shops because his/her desire to give in to their children’s wishes in order to prevent anger and tantrums, helps their sales to go up and bonuses increased. These parents have good intentions because they believe that by giving in to their child's desires, they are showing them love. Their goal is often to avoid conflict with

their children, and their manner with their children is often warm, nurturing and supportive. For the moment all discipline seems

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

54 | Her Wholeness

painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the

parable of the seeds that fell of rocky and unstable

peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have

ground, these children are being taught to make

been trained by it. Hebrews 12 v 11.

decisions based on their emotions. Hence, they are

Let’s look at some of the behaviors that permissive

not likely to develop deep roots for the inevitable

parents often display:

unstable seasons in one’s life when the storm comes and the lightning flashes, unless a parent



Lack of clear, firm boundaries; instead,

decides to practice tough love.

boundaries are fluid and enforced only in the face of no opposition

While permissive parents feel that they are winning their children's love via their leniency,



"Give in" to their child in the face of a

this type of parenting may generate unintended

temper tantrum or other expression of

results. The bible clearly states in Proverbs 22 v 6

disapproval

that, “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it”.

 



Not apply discipline or logical

Children have a need to know what to expect, and

consequences, or apply them inconsistently

in an overly lenient household where very few

Allow children to manipulate them to get

boundaries or logical consequences exist, these are

what they want, or allow children to play

the different ways this parenting style could

one parent against the other

impact on the children.

Feel that their children take them for granted as they do not require them to do





Children are more likely to lack the

any chores

consistency required in their lives for

Have a peer relationship with their

security because setting clear boundaries

offspring rather than a parent-child

provides consistency that allows children to

relationship

feel secure.

Despite the good intentions, problems occur when



When children function within determined

permissive parents fail to set appropriate

boundaries, they develop a sense of pride,

boundaries for their children and also for

self-esteem, and citizenship within the

themselves as they could end up spending on

family.

presents that are far beyond their budget. The issue at stake is not what the shops will gain from



Children in permissive households may also

such parents but rather what the child loses from

learn behaviors that do not serve them well

being brought up in such an environment. “Folly

in adulthood, such as manipulative

is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of

behavior, lacking a sense of self-discipline,

discipline drives it far from him” Just like the

and an inability to cope with authority.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness | 55

It is hard to be successful if you cannot

surviving in a job. Hence it takes those who

withstand delayed gratification. Anybody who

have their loins girded with truth from

wants it NOW cannot thrive in most

childhood to remain steadfast and unmovable

environments because struggles come in this life

under any condition that they are faced with.

to test the depth of your root; be it in marriage, raising a child, getting a car, buying a house or

Amma Frimpong is a the Director of Bridging Families, a mentor, writer and volunteer lecturer at The Mentoring Academy for the Leadership Mentoring for Purpose Programme. She is married with 3 beautiful children.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

THE

CHRISTIAN MOTHER

Who Is She?

By Detola Amure

B

eing a mother is a very significant

existence. It was a whole new experience, and it

role that God has given to a lot of

seemed nerve-racking at first. It still can be (now

women. It is amazing the impact a

with two children)! However, I knew I had to

new baby can have on a woman’s

find a way to adapt to this drastic change in my

life.

life.

When I gave birth to my daughter 6 years ago,

I began to trust God more, research, learn, and

my schedule and priorities changed. I suddenly

implement strategies that helped me cope with

became responsible for another human's

prioritising and combining all my various roles

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness| 57 effortlessly. I learnt what it meant to be a

attend to the needs of others around her.

Christian and a Mother.

However, a lot of the mothers I talk too are As a Christian Mother grows and as her children

secretly resentful and tired of helping or loving

grow older she must carefully keep her priorities

others. They feel taken for granted. This is

in line. Here are some characteristics she must

because they have left out a vital step: loving

have in order to be the woman that God created

themselves.

her to be.

Before she can adequately take care of others she She loves God with her ALL. In Mark 12:30-31 Jesus mentioned the two greatest commandments. The first one is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.

This means that her relationship with God is at

the centre of a Christian Mother’s life. Her one main goal in life is to bring glory to God in everything she does.

has to love herself first. That is exactly what the Bible says. Some people view this as selfish but my question to these people is this: how can you take care of others if you have not taken care of yourself first? You cannot give what you do not have.

So before a Christian Mother can love anyone

else without feeling resentful or tired of helping, she needs to be kind to herself. She needs to set boundaries, be assertive and say no to requests that is not in alignment with her values.

She starts her day with God by reading her Bible, meditating and in prayer. Mornings in my experience are usually the best time to hear from God with no distractions. It is also a time to set the tone of how your day should go.

She can only do this with the help of God. This is why she needs to spend time with God on a daily basis to fill up her emotional, mental and spiritual “tank” before she begins her day and

faces the various demands that comes her way.

She not only starts her day with God but stays connected with God all through the day because she knows that without God she cannot do anything.

She puts her husband before her children For the Christian Mother who is married, she has to put her husband before her children. In reality this is sometimes hard to do but she must

She loves others as she loves herself The second commandment is Mark 12:31 says

remember: before the children came, it was just her and her husband.

“love your neighbour as you love yourself”. A

Christian Mother is kind to those around her.

She desires to bless others, help others and

She must attend to his needs before attending to her children. This might be tough especially if

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

58 | Her Wholeness she is a new mother, but this is where wisdom

lovingly and firm manner. (Proverbs 13:24,

comes in. She involves her husband at home

Proverbs 23:13-14, Proverbs 29:15-17)

where she can, gets a nanny or babysitter. She delegates age appropriate chores to her children.

She is her children’s greatest cheerleader. She

She enlists the help of her mother or mother in

nurtures her children and provides an

law where possible.

environment with unconditional love and words of affirmation. She builds the confidence of her

She organises date nights and find ways to

children. She loves to have fun and play with

connect with her husband. Every Christian

her children. (Titus 2:4, Ephesians 4:29-32)

Mother, if not already, should start to cultivate the habit of spending quality time with her

She lives an exemplary live for her children in

husband because when the children are older

every aspect of life: the way she conducts herself

and leave the house it may be difficult to connect

privately and publicly, speaks, and interacts

with him.

with others.

She prays for her husband constantly and stands in the gap for him. She sees herself as the

Children learn more through observation so she

watchman of her family and stays alert

models Christ through her life to her children.

spiritually.

She invests in relationships with other Christian For Christian mothers who are not married...

Mothers.

Jesus is her husband, so she spends ample time

I remember growing up I didn’t have too many

with the Lord and herself. She also spends time

girlfriends as I felt girls were shallow and petty

with her friends to stay grounded and balanced.

but when I became a mother I realised quickly the importance of investing in friendships with

She brings up her children in the way of the

other women of faith.

Lord

A Christian mother teaches the word of God to

A Christian Mother knows that no woman is an

her children diligently, and talks about the Word

island. She needs at least one or two friends that

to them when they are at home, when they go

she can share her dreams, thoughts, and

out, when they go to bed and when they get up

emotions with no reservations. Friends who will

(Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

support her and help her see things from a different perspective. Friends who will pray

She trains up her children in the way of the

with and for her when she needs a

Lord, including teaching them to use their

breakthrough. Her friends can also always count

abilities and talents for His will. (Proverbs 22:6)

on her to be available when they need her.

She disciplines her children in the Lord. She

A Christian Mother should also invests in a

teaches them the fear of God, consistently in a

community of other Christian Mothers who

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness| 59 don’t want to settle for an average life but live a

(Ephesians 5:33), essential part of her local

life of purpose. (Proverbs 15:22.)

church (1 Corinthians 12:4-31) living out her God given dreams.

Jim Rohn a motivational speaker said: “you are the average of the five people you spend time

In all of her relationships, a Christian woman

with”. So a Christian Mother knows that it is

ought to exhibit Christ by using her gifts,

important to spend her time with positive

training, and empowering other women around

people and those who will influence her to live

her so they can impact their generation and the

her best life.

future generation for God's kingdom.

Motherhood is an amazing calling but it is NOT

This is who a Christian woman is.

the sum total of a Christian woman's responsibilities. She is also a daughter of God

Detola Amure, CEO Super Working Mum ©

(Romans 8:14), likely a respectful wife

2015

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WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

PART II

The Wife THE ARMOUR-BEARER

By Lisa Maki

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Spiritual Etiquette | 61

Your Biggest Stronghold: Fear Before you read this, be sure you have read The

Scripture, that the leader or the “king” of all these

Wife: The Armour-Bearer in the Autumn Issue of

strongholds is FEAR.

Women Empowering Women Magazine.

This FEAR is the most powerful tool of the enemy against us. It is the root cause of all our

The first step to being an Armour-Bearer wife is to

underlying issues that hinder our effectiveness as

recognize that God created us to be one. The

Armour-Bearers.

second step is to desire to be this Armour-Bearer.

The third step is to fulfil this Armour-Bearer role.

10 One Sabbath day as Jesus was teaching in a

This is where the challenge begins.

synagogue, 11 he saw a woman who had been crippled by an evil spirit. She had been bent

There are two sides when we are warring in the

double for eighteen years and was unable to

spirit for our husbands: our husband’s

stand up straight.

strongholds that we need to destroy, and our own strongholds. Until we subdue and kill our own

The spirit of fear is an evil spirit that can cripple

strongholds, we will not win this battle. We won’t

us and disable us to stand up straight. Without

be able to fight for our husbands or intercede for

stable and solid legs, we will not be able to

them effectively.

perform our role as Armour-Bearers.

Our husband’s strongholds may even stir up the

Let me bring you to 1 Peter 3:6 to further explain

very strongholds that we have, hindering us from

this “king” of our strongholds.

being able to even enter the battlefield. For instance, if you have major insecurity issues and

You are true daughters of Sarah if you do what is

your husband’s stronghold is lust, then that will

right and do not succumb to fear.

be a big problem for you. Instead of being able to war for him in the spiritual realm, you will be

“Succumb” means to surrender to something that

sucked into your insecurities and end up being so

is powerful. Obviously, it is something powerful

hurt, angry, and depressed.

enough to be warned not to “surrender” or “give in” to.

Now there are different types of strongholds that we, wives, may have including insecurities,

The New Living Translation says: “You are true

jealousy, rejection, bitterness, hunger for

daughters of Sarah if you do what is right without

attention, etc. God revealed to me, through

fear of what your husbands might do.”

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

62 | Spiritual Etiquette The heart is neutral. It simply follows the mind This spirit of fear always attacks us in the realm of

that controls it. Either it is controlled by the mind

“what our husbands might do”.

of the flesh, or the mind of the spirit.

What if he chooses that other woman over me? ...

6 Now the mind of the flesh (defined as “sense

What if he leaves me? ... What if he won’t be able

and reason”) is death. But the mind of the Spirit is

to provide for us anymore? ... What if he will hurt

life and peace. 7 [That is] because the mind of the

me again? ... What if he goes back to being an

flesh (with its carnal thoughts and purposes) is

alcoholic? ... What if he looks at porn? ... What if

hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to

he cheats on me? ... What if he wastes our

God’s Law; indeed it cannot.

money? ... What if he can’t find a job? ... What if he suffers a heart attack? And so on and so forth.

The mind of our flesh is sense and reason. It is the mind that thinks about logical things such as: “I

These fears make us panic, nag our husband, feel

will leave my husband if he cheats on me.” This is

insecure, feel suspicious, run away, rebel, and

very logical. Why will you stay with a man who is

take matters into our own hands. In short, it “gets

cheating on you? The mind of the flesh will never

us in the flesh”. This is what the devil wants. If he

subject itself to the Word of God. It is the mind of

can get us in the flesh, then we will not win.

our flesh that the devil attacks with fear. And since this mind responds and reacts through

We are not warring against flesh and blood,

sense and reason, then everything the devil will

remember? This is not a physical war but a

plant in it will sound very logical and reasonable.

spiritual one. So to win the spiritual war, we have to be in the spirit.

To defeat this stronghold of fear is to control the mind with the spirit and not with the flesh.

The next question now is: How do we fight this stronghold of fear? How do we conquer this

When I began to ask God how to do this, He

beast?

brought me to Hosea 10:12: Break up unused (or uncultivated) ground.

My answers to this question will blow your mind.

Actually, they are not my answers but the

He then started to show me that the “ground” is

answers that the Holy Spirit gave me, which blew

the “heart”. My spiritual heart is uncultivated and

my mind.

unused. I have to start breaking it. How do I break it?

Paul talks about the “mind of the flesh” and the “mind of the spirit” in Romans 8. If there is a

We are not used to utilizing the heart of the spirit.

mind of the flesh, then there is a heart of the flesh.

It is always the heart of the flesh that operates. All

The heart gets its feelings from what the mind

our past issues of insecurities, hurts, betrayal,

dictates. Whatever the mind thinks, the heart

rejection, etc. are rooted in the heart of our flesh.

feels.

They have become a hardening agent causing us to justify our feelings and actions.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Spiritual Etiquette | 63 To break the heart of the spirit is to start using it

Heart of Flesh: He needs to understand that what

and to begin operating in nothing but what the

he is doing is affecting me badly. He is not getting

Word of God says. To break the heart of the spirit

it!!!

is to silence the heart of the flesh when it tries to

Heart of Spirit: I will continue being the example

justify its actions, or find excuses to brush off

of Jesus in his life. I will let Jesus’ light expose to

what God says in His Word.

him what is wrong with him.

The heart of the spirit will cling to God’s Word

Heart of Flesh: How can I respect a man who

that says: I hate divorce. The heart of the flesh will

drinks all day, doesn’t have a job, and watches

brush that off and say, “But he is cheating on me”.

porn?

Heart of Spirit: I respect my husband because

Let me bring you back again to 1 Peter 3 and see

God put him above me and because God

further what God says in His Word about our role

commanded me to do so.

as wives. Take note of the underlined words.

Heart of Flesh: So you just want me to shut up?

In the same way, wives, submit to your husbands;

We need to communicate.

so that even if some of them do not believe the

Heart of Spirit: “Father, I know my husband will

Word, they will be won over by your conduct,

not understand no matter how I explain. So I will

without your saying anything, 2 as they see your

leave it to you to talk to him.”

respectful and pure behavior. 3 Your beauty should not consist in externals such as fancy

I can already hear some women saying ... “So you

hairstyles, gold jewelry or what you

just want me to be a door mat?” This is my

wear; 4 rather, let it be the inner character of your

response to that: “Well, that devil is already

heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle

making you a doormat. So what do you do now?”

and quiet spirit. In God’s sight this is of great value. 5 This is how the holy women of the past

We all know that it is easier to operate in the heart

who put their hope in God used to adorn

of flesh. This is our nature! And this is why to

themselves and submit to their husbands, 6 the

operate in the heart of the spirit takes a lot of

way Sarah obeyed Avraham, honoring him as her

discipline and self-control, which are actually the

lord.

fruits of the Spirit. This means that the more we train our hearts to follow our spirits, the more

To make my point clearer, I will present a

disciplined we will even become; thus, the easier

distinction between the heart of flesh and the

it will get.

heart of the spirit based on the verses above.

And guess what? If you are resisting this and Heart of Flesh: Why will I submit to my husband

don’t want to do it, it’s on you. That immediately

if he is not submitted to God?

disqualifies you from the category of ARMOUR-

Heart of Spirit: I will submit to my husband

BEARER QUEENS who will reign with Yeshua

because God says so.

someday.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

64 | Spiritual Etiquette Yeshua. Training the mind and heart of our spirit 1 John 4:18 says: There is no fear in love ... the

is merely a preparation for our eternal life.

person who keeps fearing has not been brought to maturity in regard to love.

It takes a true warrior wife, a real armour-bearer, to be able to break the ground of the heart of the

Did you read that? A person who continuously

spirit and start operating in it. You know why?

lives and operates in fear has not been brought to

Because it is hard! Anything difficult is not for the

maturity in love. Our heart of flesh is so used to

faint of heart. Remember ... NARROW IS THE

the worldly love that focuses on the self. So if you

PATH.

want to mature in love, then you have to train that heart of yours to listen to your spirit.

The choice is yours. If you want to defeat the biggest threat to your being an Armour-Bearer

The very reason why we are even “saved” is so

wife, then start breaking that uncultivated “heart

that we can be set apart and be perfected like

of the spirit” today.

Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based web magazine for women. She is a Professional Writer/Consultant with over 20 years of experience in Professional Writing, Public speaking, and Human Resources in Organizational Development. She manages a Professional Writing business which includes Résumé Writing, Business Letter Writing, Business Plans, Website Content, Editing Jobs, Press Kits, and other writing requirements.

More than a Professional Writer, Lisa is an evangelist/preacher/minister with over 10 years of ministry experience including pastoring a women's prison; conduct of Bible-based seminars and Bible studies in corporate offices; preaching engagements in churches, police camps, schools, and other organizations; outreach programs for poor families and children; and pastoring a church.

Lisa holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and some units in Psychological Services. She was commissioned as "minister" in 2006.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Spiritual Etiquette | 65

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66 | Her Wholeness

Your Place of Assignment Is In The

PLACE OF FRUITFULNESS

By HRM Oba Dokun Thompson

The Oloni Of Eti-Oni, Osun State, Nigeria

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Kingdom Minded Man | 67

T

o be fruitful means life and to be fruitless means death.

Matthew 21:19 19. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he

may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls-18. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

went up to it but found nothing on it except

19. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my

leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear

feet like deer's feet, And He will make me walk on

fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.

my high hills; to the Chief Musician, with my

Death here does not translate to physical

stringed instruments.

death but spiritual death that is often caused as a result of a curse that prevents man from

As we read these words, Lord speak to us in a

fulfilling that which God has in mind or

manner that will impart and impact in us

planned for him. A curse that leads to this

wisdom to have understanding of your will

death is always as a result of disobedience.

for our lives and reveal to us the knowledge

After man fell due to disobedience that led to the eating of the fruit, man became fruitless, became helpless, lost his direction and

of our places of assignment that we may be fruitful in all of our endeavours to your glory in Jesus mighty name we pray.

coordination, did not know his left from his right and was now at the mercy of the devil who has nothing to offer but to steal, deceive and destroy. But God in His mercies sent His only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to die for man that man may be redeemed.

The question I want to ask us all is simply, what do we know as our assignment and how do we know the place of our assignment?

Because once we can answer this question, we would have been able to resolve all the issues that lead to unfruitful ventures and results

Out of Love, God sent His son and out of

and become fruitful beyond our imagination.

obedience, the Son who knew no sin, became sin that the will of his father may be done. He

suffered, was crucified and buried and on the third day rose from the dead that whosoever

For the purpose of this teaching, I would love

to use nature, God’s creation so we can understand and relate it to our lives.

believes in him would not perish but have eternal life and the power to be called the son

Psalm 1:1-3

of God. Our trust in God should be total and unconditional just like in Habakkuk 3:17-19

17. Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labour of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,

But whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

68 | Kingdom Minded Man That person is like a tree planted by streams of

God’s ordained role to put in place the

water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf

government at every level in the manner I was

does not wither—whatever they do prosper.

installed as an Oba.

If we want to live and experience what a tree

Revelation 5:10

that is planted by streams of water experiences in terms of fruitfulness, that is a fulfilled life,

10. And hast made us unto our God kings and

we need to know who we are in the Lord. The

priests: and we shall reign on the earth.

truth is that God has created us for only one reason and that reason is for His own purpose.

To be able to reign on the earth, and be fruitful on earth, we need to understand 2 things:

The

primary

reason

and

the

primary

responsibility we have as believers is to

These

spell

out

our

primary

place

of

assignment and how to achieve fruitfulness.

establish the Kingdom of God on earth. What do I mean?

Who we are, where we are and how we have been placed according to God’s

I was installed as a traditional ruler in the

plan and structure.

church by reverends and pastors according to

How our actions can create fruitful or

the scriptures with the pouring of oil over my

fruitless situations for ourselves and

head in December 2008. About 10 years before

others.

this happened, my father said to me that the time had to come when Obas and traditional

God’s structure is based on the individual, first

rulers have to be installed as such and when

as an independent person or say as a single

the time came, I worked towards that. When

person, secondly as a couple, husband and/or

my father spoke then, I knew it was an

wife, thirdly as a family member, father,

instruction that must be obeyed and I did all to

mother and children then as part of a

obey and through God’s grace it happened to

community, a nation or a race.

God’s glory as I became the first Oba in Nigeria

For the purpose of today, I would address the

to be installed in such manner making history.

first part which is as an individual as a single

One other thing, I understood was that the

person, a couple and a family.

problems of Africa had nothing to do with corruption, bad government or bad leadership,

Colossians 3; 12 – 21

etc but that the main problem is the very foundation. If we plant seeds of sour grapes, it

12. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and

is impossible to harvest sweet apples or

dearly

oranges. So corruption and co are only fruits of

compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and

the type of tree planted and to resolve this

patience.

problem the church must begin to perform her WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

loved,

clothe

yourselves

with

Kingdom Minded Man | 69 13. Bear with each other and forgive one

fruitless either as couple or family not to talk of

another if any of you has a grievance against

within our work environment. In another

someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

manner;

14. And over all these virtues put on love,

Ephesians 5: 8 – 11 reads, 8 For you were once

which binds them all together in perfect unity.

darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.

Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the

15. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,

light consists in all goodness, righteousness

since as members of one body you were called

and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the

to peace. And be thankful.

Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

16. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another

To embrace righteousness as our watchword,

with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and

is to carry the sceptre of the power of God

songs from the Spirit, singing to God with

which would break every barrier, every

gratitude in your hearts.

barrenness, weakness or illness that we would not only be fruitful but our fruitfulness would

17. And whatever you do, whether in word or

also reproduce. A good example is found in

deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,

Genesis 22: 17 – 18 reads, 17 Blessing I will

giving thanks to God the Father through him.

bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as

As a single person who believes in the gospel

the sand which is on the seashore, and your

and calls the name of the Lord, all these

descendants shall possess the gate of their

attributes which are fruits of the spirit, of love

enemies 18 In your seed all the nations of the

must be part and parcel of us. It is about

earth shall be blessed, because you have

righteousness without which we would be

obeyed my voice.

HRM Oba Dokun Thompson began The Oloni of Eti-Oni, Osun state of Nigeria is a unique monarch, a lover of Christ and a devoted Christian. History was made 8 December, 2008 when he became the first traditional ruler in Nigeria to be installed inside the church according to the scriptures with the pouring of oil over his head and the adorning of the traditional beads and staff by priests of the Anglican Communion, Christ Apostolic Church and The Apostolic Faith Mission.

He is a keen golfer and great supporter of building the talents and gifts in the younger generation, using the scriptures as a guide to bringing out the best in them in other to help them have a fulfilled life. He regularly features as a speaker in several leadership and development conferences as well as teaching the Word in Christian conventions.

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

70 | Kingdom Minded Man

A MAN’S ROLE Is To Be In Alignment With God

By Victor Nwaorgu

A

s a prelude into a proper

is no true success in ministry not until we

exposition of the above subject,

connect with the most high, When we fail in

it has become imperative to

aligning ourselves with the lord we will not be

know what the topic really

able to do anything.

signifies, to be in alignment with God in essence means maintaining the same balance with His spirit. Alignment has to do with one’s connection with God. It goes beyond one’s behavior. The almighty cares so much about it, he wants us his children to be in alignment with his will once we are united with the lord, we will adhere to all his instruction even when he requests from us to

do the impossible.

When we realize our spiritual alignment, it will enlarge our life and multiply our effectiveness because it will take away from us all sense of doubt, feelings of inability to buffet the storms of life it will give us a new meaning of living.

Life will take on a whole new

meaning, when we live in constant realization

of our alignment with the lord. The nearer we are to the lord the greater our strength. There

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Having been saved by grace, we are his chosen ones; we live by the aid of the Holy Spirit, by faith. We should seek God’s guidance and direction through his word to perform well in the various ministries where the lord has called us.

He has appointed teachers,

preachers, prophets, singers, and evangelists.

Without this connection, we simply drift away from God’s plan and purpose for us in life.

Many a time, we have all been guilty of being overly confident in our own abilities.

Our

insensitivity at some points over inflate our sense

of self – assurance

thus creating

a

bridge in the flow of communication. We no longer seek to hear from God before any decision. In other cases many of us start in the right way, always seeking the guidance of the lord, but as we begin to develop a level of

comfort that the lord is with us we start

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

72 | Kingdom Minded Man

paying less

attention to the guidance of the

pay, but a price of true love.

“But God

Lord. We must always remember who it is that

commanded his love to us, that while we where yet

is

sinners, Christ died for us”. (Romans 5:8).

strong and mighty – He

who makes

us

mighty, and seek his acknowledgement always.

Every

married

man has

some specific

responsibilities to play in the life of his wife, remember marriage is an institution created by God and he sets his rules. A man is to love his wife, when the scripture talks about love; it talks

Guess

what? If you love your wife you have to sanctify her, you are to take her from the level where she is to the level where you want her to be. When she shows you her problem, you are to fix it. You

are the god of your home, what Jesus is to the church, you are to be to your wife.

about sacrifice that you make for the betterment of someone else. You can only measure love by your

level

of

sacrifice

and

not

by

your

satisfaction. To say that a man loves his wife is to talk about the sacrifice that he makes for her.

Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. Christ gave himself to his church. Just as the man works out to make his body look good, he is to work his wife out to look good as well.

Make sure that she is strong, fulfilled, provided

“Husbands love your wives even as also Christ loved the assembly and gave up himself for it”. (Ephesians 5: 25).

Colossians 3:19, “Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against her.

To talk about love is to talk about a cross. To talk about love is to talk about a savior. We have a savior in Christ and our wives ought to have a savior in us.

We have a deliverer in Christ and our mates ought to have a deliverer in us.

When you talk of loving your wife, you talk about carrying a cross. Jesus Christ did not die for us because we are loveable, Jesus died to make us loveable. A man does not love his wife because she deserves to be loved; a man loves his wife in order to change her into someone loveable.

The scripture talked about Jacob’s love for Rachel, so much that he worked for fourteen

years in order to gain permission to marry her from her father (Genesis 29). It is a hard price to

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

for and satisfied. The father is the head of the

home. The home is where the physical, emotional and spiritual grace of a child is nurtured. A father who is aligned with God has the ability to call forth the grace of God through Love, care, provision, guidance and advice.

A godly Father upholds the spiritual alter of the family, He sharpens and guides the child towards reaching the vision and purpose of his existence.

And now words to you parents don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children making them angry and resentful rather bring them up with the loving discipline the lord himself approves with suggestion and godly advice. (Eph 6:4).

The greatest gift a father can give to the child is love.

Just like God our heavenly father loves us his children. A child who has the conviction that he has a father who loves him will always put his trust in his father simply put, when affection is shown to a child it brings out the best in the child, the child will have the consciousness that he has

Kingdom Minded Man | 73

a shoulder to cry and lean on , he has someone he

Just like God, the primary function of a father is

can call a friend when he can tell his fears, share

to provide for his children’s needs. Needs vary

his vision and aspirations with and also confide

according to stages the need of your child when

in.

Sure the rod of correction should not be

he is an infant may not be the same as when he is

spared but a father should also correct in love.

an adult. It can be physical, emotional, or a

God is a merciful father who will always chastise

spiritual need.

and correct us in love whenever we go astray.

task. The children are precious gifts which the

A father should brace up to this

lord has entrusted in your custody. As a father “If a child ask s his father for bre ad , w ill he be

you are to provide and take care of their everyday

given a stone? If he asks for dish will he be given

needs because surely as caretakers, one day we

snake? Of course not! And if you men know how to

will stand to give account on how well we have

give good gift to your children, won’t your heavenly

been able to bring up these children in the fear of

father even more certainly give good gifts to those who

God.

ask him for them.” (Matthew 7:9-11).

Victor Nwaorgu is a motivational speaker and prolific writer, with a mark of distinction. He makes himself relevant everywhere he goes. He is mandated with a mission to positively impact in the lives of many in this generation. He has a global vision geared towards making positive impact in the lives of youths all over the world. Victor has held various leadership positions within and outside the church. He holds a degree in Business Management from the Prestigious University of Hertfordshire United Kingdom and a first degree in Political science from Madonna University Nigeria. He is currently the Director of Media and Publicity at Golden Pine Konsult Limited and married to Promise Nwaorgu

WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

EmpoweredWoman Empowering women to empower nations If you have any comments on any of the articles featured in this magazine please send them to:

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WINTER 2015 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN