Women Empowering Women Magazine - Summer 2020

|1

£3.00

WEWMAG

www.wewmagazine.com

2|

EDITOR IN CHIEF JACQUELINE ANI ASSISTANT EDITOR TAMIKA PUSEY-SQUIRE

CONTACT US magazine@empworedwoman.org.uk VISIT OUR WEBSITE www.wewmagazine.com

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Editor's Message | 3

Hi Ladies, Welcome to the Spring/Summer Issue of WEW Magazine.

As you know the whole world is on lockdown and as the Christian's are seeking direction from God, the world will never be the same after lockdown. There is a real need to stay in the ARC (The Presence of the Lord).

Use the time during this period to peruse the pages of this season's WEW Magazine.

In this season, most of our contributors are from The Mentoring Group for International Women, it's great to see how they've transformed and are now using their stories and gifts to empower other women.

Enjoy the articles and share our magazine with your network.

Jacqueline Ani Prophetess Jacqueline Ani Editor-In-Chief Women Empowering Women Magazine

Letter From

THE EDITOR

www.wewmagazine.com

4|

Contents 6

WHOLENESS 6 How the Love of God Transforms You 10 Time to Use Your Voice 14 Trusting God’s Plan In His Purpose for Me

SPIRITUAL ETIQUETTE 16 New Seasons will Transform You 30 Are You Sitting on The Sidelines 34 My Life As A Single Media Professional in this dispensation of the Kingdom

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

34

|5

LIFESTYLE 38 Overcoming the Fear & Threat of Divorce 44 Surviving the Storm 48 Biblical Nutrition & Mental Health 52 Fitness and Purpose

52

COVER FEATURE

21

21 Stepping Out With Michelle McKinney-Hammond

SPECIAL FEATURES 56 This Purpose in The Shaking 62 Prophesy to The Dry Bones 66 The Journey of Bereavement; How We Overcome 67 Egg Shells

66

www.wewmagazine.com

6|

How the

of

Love Go Transforms You

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

|7

WHOLENESS

od

By Katrinna Lewis Mashburn

T

he only thing I knew about religion and the church was there was a God that existed and it was my choice to decide if I wanted to believe in Him. Growing up I believed there was a God out there, but the world had too many awful things happening in it to really have Him care about me or my issues. I tried going to different churches many times; with friends, on my own, and with family. I could never stay with one for long. I was water baptized when I was 21; but honestly at the time I could not tell you what lead me to be. I believe now that I thought somehow it would save me from a bad situation I had gotten myself into.

www.wewmagazine.com

8| When I truly came to Christ about 2 years ago, I had been wearing the cross that was a baptismal gift. I had a Bible but I couldn't tell you one word that was in it. Like many, I found God at a time where my entire life had fallen apart.

I knew nothing about God or His love. The only thing I knew was that I was broken, rejected, and abandoned! I desperately needed something authentic and powerful to not feel the way I did.

I praise God that He truly never leaves us or forsakes us! He was always watching out for me, even when I did not recognize His presence.

Discovering God and His love led me to realize this was not going to be easy, but I was determined to continue the journey with Him. Discovering God began with developing a relationship with Him. Getting to know God is much like building any other new relationship. It requires time, patience, forgiveness, humility and vulnerability. The difference is in this relationship you are building it with someone you cannot see physically.

A lot of the previously mentioned requirements are actually more for your own personal transformation than the outside world, as I had assumed. In this process of letting God’s love transform you, and I emphasize the word "process", one of the first things I learned was the way God loves is not at all the way the world has taught us to love and be loved. I am still learning this as God teaches me over and over through many different experiences and trials. I also learned as you grow in the experience and understanding of the different ways God loves you, be prepared to keep your heart and mind open because it will not make any sense. I had to find peace with that part. Do not allow the distraction of trying to make sense of it all at once make you lose focus on God Himself. Once I was able to "let go and let God" as they say, it was possible to find joy and peace, even in the midst of trials, because it began to feel like a fun mystery to figure out. This process is admittedly hard and scary! God’s love is solid foundation and He showed me that if I anchor my love and hope on His solid foundation, then I don't have anything to fear. I explained it to a friend this way; if two people were in a boat and a storm was raging, one is calm and the other is freaking out. It is the same storm, but the calm one knows that the boat is anchored and secure. The other person doesn't know that. They are scared of many different

things; like will the boat flip? Where will they end up? Will they sink? Will they die? It is the same storm but different responses based on their own individual knowledge.

While building your relationship with God like any other relationship, especially a new relationship; there will most definitely be pain, tears, bumps, and bruises. One of the many awesome things about the hard, painful parts that is crucial to remember is God understands all of our emotions and He can handle them.

Being completely honest with God about how you are feeling is so very important!

Just as important is being completely honest with yourself. Personally, I received some of my greatest breakthroughs and healing after I was completely and brutally honest with God and myself. That honesty often included anger with God, once even screaming at God that I hated Him and what He was putting me through.

This particular time was followed by me in the shower, sobbing, asking God to forgive me. This experience actually helped me to see a strategy of the enemy in making me feel completely unworthy. I was placing the blame on God. This was the beginning of gaining the understanding of God allowing painful experiences to show how He will really work everything together for my good. It also changed my heart! Now, when I am going through these experiences I begin to seek God on what He is trying to accomplish or show me.

Experiencing God’s transforming love is also something that cannot be forced nor should it be. As hard as it may be, do not rush the experience. Take time and let God heal you His way and show you true love His way.

Enjoy the time with Him. Surrender and let the process happen! I know how difficult that word "surrender" can be and so does God. Be careful and aware of bringing self-condemnation on when it feels like things are not moving fast enough or happening the way you planned.

In a recent revelation from God, in His perfect love He showed me that He truly does see everything and He truly does care. All the questions we have, even the ones we don't ask out loud, or even understand it to be a question or concern, He knows. He knows the worries

"In His perfect love He showed me that ...He truly does care. "

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

|9 even when we don't admit or understand it is a worry. Recently, I was very concerned about learning His character and His word incorrectly and being influenced by outside sources not of God. I really wanted to make sure that I was learning from Him, what he wanted me to learn and surrounding myself with true people of God. I was having a very hard time trusting anyone, including myself. I hadn't really voiced my concern to God, it was just something I was constantly thinking about. Of course, God knew and didn't want me distracted so He sent a word through a friend. He told me not to be concerned, He said to trust Him and He would surround me with people who could lead and guide me in truth. The key word being to "trust".

I had to trust Him. I realized that I had become distracted by something I was concerned about rather than keeping my eyes focused on my Father. He tells me to cast my cares on Him and not to worry. When I released that burden to God it allowed me to see more of what God wanted to accomplish in me and through me.

Another beautiful revelation I received, is what being "born again" is not. It is not to disregard everything about ourselves and start over. God made us unique and gave us the unique gifts we need to fulfill His purpose for us in the world. Rather than trying to become a completely new or different person, we should seek God for understanding of the things and characteristics that make us unique, as well as ask God how to use them the way He intended for us and His kingdom. Two examples of characteristics for me, which I always knew about myself, were being very observant and a quick learner. I never really understood these to be "gifts", but God has shown me that He has a purpose for them. I may not know yet what that purpose is, but I can now go to God and ask Him how he would like to use them. It is my belief, to truly experience the fullness of God’s love, you must come to a place where what God says and how God feels about you, is your main focus and what is most important. As you begin

to embrace God’s love and start experiencing His love in small doses, it will feed a hunger that you did not know was there. The nourishment actually causes the craving and hunger to grow as it is fed. God and His word will become the lifeline you did not even know you needed. The healing and peace that only God can give will become something that you will do absolutely anything to hold onto.

This past February was by far one of the hardest months I have encountered in the process. I was completely aware that I was in a spiritual battle! The enemy used every weapon in his arsenal against me, to get me to give up on everything, including God. I did my best to retaliate with the weapons I knew I had, admittedly it was very difficult. I prayed, I cried out to God, I dragged myself to church with everything in me and was prayed over and most importantly I had the word. In my heart I knew that God was protecting me, that He was taking me somewhere or the enemy would not have been fighting me so hard. I knew something amazing was on the other side of this battle. I didn't know what it was, but I was okay with that because I knew that the "amazing thing" was going too far surpass whatever the enemy had to throw at me. I also knew God loved me. I felt it deep down in my heart and He would undoubtedly get me to where He was taking me; and that is exactly what God did. With March came the peace that surpasses all understanding! I was finally able to say with full confidence "it is well". God’s love transformed me and I am able to finally understand the joy of the Lord is my strength. He gave me the most beautiful new word to stand on.

“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of faith, the salvation of your souls” (1 Peter 1:8-9, NIV).

My name is Katrinna, I am 36 years old. I live in the panhandle of Florida in the United States. I have been blessed with three beautiful daughters ages 11, 5 and 3. I work as a Home Owners Association Coordinator for a vacation rental/property management company. I have been a believer in Jesus Christ for a little over two years now. As I have allowed God to transform my heart, I have found that I have a heart for the lost and nonbelievers. I truly want to see everyone saved, healed and know the true love of Christ.

www.wewmagazine.com

10 |

WHOLENESS

Time to Us

Your Vo

By Jacqu

F

or years I have been serving women in the community, locally, nationally and internationally, therefore when the Lord speaks to me about what He is doing in this hour, I do believe, women are a huge part of His Agenda in preparing to receive the greatest harvest we have ever experienced in this period.

Since COVID 19, I have often wondered what God is saying about this pandemic and though He didn’t send us the virus, He is using it to shake the church and the world at large.

However, during my prayer, I believe God has given me much to think and meditate on and I also ask myself how am I to serve Him in this period? I would say the time of lockdown couldn’t have come at a more opportune time in this dispensation of the Kingdom, God is shaking things and He is doing it mainly with the Church, He has brought judgment on the way the Church has been operating for a long time.

On January 18th I had a dream where I was in a Boeing 747 with a few dignitaries, it was a packed plane and we were about to fly off, we had been waiting on the runaway for quite some time, I hadn’t recognised it at first because I was busy talking to those sitting next to me, at some point, I wondered why we were still waiting on the runway, then I was shown the gate board and it was shuffling as if resetting to show the next batch of flights to take off and then I heard the word “ticket resetting” I knew we would take off soon and woke up.

I didn’t understand it at the time, but in the midst of this present pandemic and being

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

on lockdown, it is very clear that the Lord is using this period to reset things in our lives, He is resetting the way we do church, our service and how we move forward after lockdown.

At the same time, He is also bringing to light the remnant people. The remnant are those who as a community of people are left after a catastrophe! They are the holy and righteous who have been chosen to usher in the harvest of souls; they have been chastised, hidden for such a time as this period, they are the ones who the whole creation are waiting to get into position and God has been preparing them for such a time as this. The remnant will not waiver, are uncompromising and will speak as directed by God without apology!

Another passage the Lord showed me 3 weeks before the COVID 19 came into the UK was Numbers 16 and this was about Korah the Levite, Dathan and Abiram the Benjaminite who had made false accusations against Moses because they believed the whole nation of Israel were holy, therefore Moses didn’t have to be so heavy handed on them.

In their accusations they sought to test God because they felt that they were as high priest are the ones to put fire in the censers as high priest do. Korah had gathered all the congregation against Moses and the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron saying, “Separate yourselves from among this congregation that I may consume them in a moment” Numbers 16:21.

| 11

se

oice

ueline Ani

www.wewmagazine.com

12 | Korah was consumed along with Dathan, Abiram and 250 priests. Finally, when the congregation accused Moses and Aaron of what happened to their high priests, God sent a plague and they were also wiped of the earth.

God had separated Korah, Dathan and Abiram including the 250 priest who had pointed against Moses and his obedience to God from all who were holy and had a heart for God. Hence a remnant remained to continue the work of God in holiness and righteousness.

In this period, the Lord is preparing a remnant to usher in the harvest which will come forth as a result of the pandemic and the fear that so haunts His People and part of this remnant are women!

How is He using them? He is using Their VOICE! These women have been through tremendous persecution because of their voice, they have been stripped, maligned and abused because God has given them a voice to speak out against injustice, to speak for those who can’t speak, to pray and seek God for deliverance and justice. Their voice is distinctive, it is relevant for this hour.

Just like Samuel was called when he was a young boy and the bible says the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground!

I believe many of God’s daughters will be relevant in this new season.

I believe the Lord is separating us to serve Him I believe He is raising a bride with oiled lamps I believe that there is a reset and it won’t be how it used to be, everything will change to

suit God and we are learning how to operate through Him. I believe this pandemic is meant to instil fear, but the remnant will stay in the Arc (In the Presence of God) because that is where we have hope and direction.

Yes, the Lord needs our voice, to speak up and to speak His message without apology and just like He told Jeremiah 1:17 - 18 Therefore, prepare yourself and arise, and speak to them all that I command you.

Do not be dismayed before their faces Lest I dismay you before them For Behold I have made you a fortified city And an iron pillar And bronze walls against the whole land Against the kings of Judah Against its princes Against its priests And against the people of the land Don’t look at what they will say or not say, what they notice or not notice, you represent God! Women we’ve already had a dress rehearsal, now it’s time for the real thing because the whole of creation is groaning for you to take your place in this period and your voice is one of the areas that God will use in position.

Jacqueline Ani is a lecturer, author, transformational leadership coach, inspirational speaker and prophetic mentor. She is the pioneer behind the Deborah School of Prophets and The Mentoring Academy and the Overseer of The Mentoring Group for International Women and online media ministry.

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 13

www.wewmagazine.com

14 |

TRUSTING GOD’S PLAN IN HIS PURPOSE FOR ME

By Lisette Balangue Finding what God had purposed for me has been quite a journey. I remember being in kindergarten and being asked what I would like to do. At first, I responded that I wanted to work at a retail store with clothes, but the teacher smiled and asked, “Have you ever thought of being a teacher? I can see you as a teacher when you are older.” As I grew up, I carried those words with me that I would be a teacher or someone who works with children. I realized it was a passion from the inside to help people grow or feel better. My mother would always tell me that I should be a journalist and although I admire that occupation, I am unfortunately not a writer, per se. In high school, I had the best guidance counselor who was motivating and inspiring.

She gave such great advice on growing in school and motivating you to do your best in SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

school. She had such an impact on me that I knew after I was a teacher that I would be a guidance counselor to help others get to college and make the most out of themselves.

After high school graduation, I set out for college, checked the box for the teacher track and was on my way to becoming a teacher.

I completed all classes on the teacher track and was set to graduate. I had even been accepted to the credential program to start the following fall after I graduated.

As close as I was to my teaching career being almost complete, it was close to its screeching halt. The year was 2007 and America was in total recession. My step-dad had gotten laid off and my mom told me that

| 15

WHOLENESS

I would not be able to continue my education, but would need to look for a full-time job. I was devasted, however, I thought this was a “sign” from God to stop me from becoming a teacher. I was not liking working with the elementary students when I would substitute teach at schools. I actually was realizing that I preferred substituting at the high schools and helping those students. This got me to thinking, teaching may not be for me and God was telling me there was something else out there for me. In college, I had even taken a career test and it said teaching or nursing. That was it! I should become a nurse while I work full time to help my family. While I got a job working full time for a marketing company just to have a steady income, I went to school to become a nurse. I took all my prerequisite classes after work. It was all working so well. Life went on, I thought this was all in God’s plan as it was all working out and smoothly for the most part. I have to admit, I never really got on my knees or really asked Him about this all. To be completely honest, I was in a time of my life where I was lukewarm and did not really seek Him for the answers just assumed these were His answers.

So, there I was ready for my next step and accepted into a nursing program. The economy was back up and I was now married.

This is when God met me! All of a sudden, I was hit with the biggest storm in my life. God has a funny way of saying “HEY! Are you listening!?”

Everything was starting to be pulled from me to grab my attention to Him. I was at a point where I was not able to start nursing school. I was so lost with the whole storm around me, but all I could hear was His still small voice say “Trust me”. I have to admit it took a long time for me to give up the control of my life because I had to find the solution and take control of what was happening.

The very last thing the Lord took was my job, but I was prepared because I kept asking Him about my job and if I should be there or what does He have for me. Finally, I was laid off from my marketing job.

During my lay-off, I spent my time with the Lord and really sought Him for what my purpose was. I was praying, reading His word, worshipping, but most of all just having a relationship with Him again. I started applying for administration jobs, but no doors were being opened. So, I told the Lord, I am going to apply for a substitute teacher and renew my certificates and if the door opens,

I know this is what you have purposed for me.

In addition, I applied for a Masters of Education and single subject credential and if that opens then I know the Lord has this path for me. It was about a week and all the doors opened. The first school I went to substitute at was La Serna High School and when I look back on my dreams, I had a dream six months prior about that specific high school. I was having dreams about high school student problems and praying for these students.

The Lord was speaking and it showed me just how much the Lord has plans. Jeremiah 29:11 was in full effect.

The world is at a stand-still at this very moment. My teaching has come to a bit of a pause, but I choose to trust God this time around instead of trying to find what I should do instead or take it as a “sign”.

Just this month, I received an email from my school that they will allow us to take some classes without being in the schools so we can continue our teaching credentials. The Lord is amazing and all we need to do is trust He has a plan.

"...all I could hear was His still small voice say 'Trust me'..."

Lisette Balangue is from Los Angeles, California. She is currently in her master’s program for education and obtaining a credential in social science teaching along with guidance counseling. She is a mother of one daughter and a lover of the Lord. California, USA.

www.wewmagazine.com

1616| |

SPIRITUAL ETIQUETTE

NEW Will SEASON Transform SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 17

By Hanah St Rose

NS m You

By Hanah St.Rose

A

new season can happen in any stage of your life.

You may not even recognize it at first because you have been so used to the same routine for so long.

What is a new season and how can you recognize it as a woman of God? A new season is a new stage in your life that will take you to another level. God wants to elevate you and transform you, but you have to make a choice to want to change. You must walk by faith and not by sight, as God guides you day by day. It’s important to let go of the old ways and habits in your life whether it may be a person, place, or even a situation. Transformation takes place in the heart and the mind. (Psalm 51:10-12) Renew your mind in the word of God, so you can fully transform into the woman God is calling you to be.

When I was facing a new season in my life, I remember a few years ago wanting a better understanding of what God www.wewmagazine.com

18 | called me to do for him. I wanted to go into a new direction with the Lord, but I knew I had to allow God transform me from within.

I wanted a new season, but I had to allow God take me through circumstances to mature me even though I thought they were challenging. I had to allow myself grow within opportunities I had never experienced before and bring in fresh connections. During this time God confirmed that I needed to expand my gift in writing. I was praying to God daily to reveal to me my calling. He was also closing doors and weeding out things in my life that didn’t belong in my new season. I had to let go of wrong connections.

Maturity doesn't happen overnight and you have to be willing to be patient. You will have to ask the Lord to show you what is keeping you from the next stage in your life. (Isaiah 43:19) I had to take a good look at myself and realize that if I wanted a change, I had to stop getting in the way of God and the way he works.

Maturity and challenges go hand in hand. During the process of transformation, take time out of your day to write down what areas in your life you see positive changes and write down the areas in your life you still need to work on. This can help you keep track of what God is doing in your life and keep you motivated as you grow.

New seasons will transform you as you walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7) You may not quickly see what God is doing as you step out in faith, but faith requires you to take risks. You might not understand how to walk in faith, so you can see godly transformation. In order to operate in faith you must take time to sit with God and ask God

for wisdom, so you will know the right godly steps you should take. (James 1:5) You will be able to discern what is a part of your journey and what isn't. When you reflect on your own life, you will see how God took you from one journey to the next. This can help you pinpoint times in your past where transformation took place and this will help you see clearly how you can determine when new seasons are on the horizon.

New seasons can come as a surprise when you least expect it.

It could be an unexpected career change, friendships changing, and even through a new idea that came to you out of the blue. For example, an unexpected career change can show you a talent or even a skill you didn't even know you had. When friendships change in your life it can show you who truly values you and when a friendship has run its course. Sometimes, an idea can come from God that can take you somewhere you have never been before.

Finally, know that new seasons require you to keep moving forward. (Philippians 3:12-14) I am so happy I’ve walked closely with God to see transformation take place. God has shown me my calling and shown me who I am in Christ.

I have seen my character evolve, my choices change for the better, and my mind more focused on the things of the Lord. You will see new seasons transform as you continue to seek God for who He is and as you receive his powerful love in every stage of your life.

"New

seasons will transform you as you walk by faith and not by sight."

Hanah St.Rose is a writer, dance choreographer, and Christian speaker. She has a passion for writing, helping women of all ages, and she loves God. She loves to praise dance, volunteer, and inspire others. She started her own personal ministry called Single Roses That Are Waiting. Her ministries focus is to help women during their season of singleness and to let them know God loves them. She has created her own blog page for her ministry, and she is working on completing a 31-day devotional. She has a writing ministry called Christian Women Who Adore Writing.

Hanah St.Rose is currently working on creating new ideas and expanding the visions God has given her.

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 19

www.wewmagazine.com

20 |

Stepping Out

c i M with

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

FEATURE INTERVIEW

e l l e ch

| 21

y e n n i K c M ammond H

WEW: Who or What defines your identity?

MCH: I believe that my identity is hidden in Christ. That is biblical-- it says in Ephesians without Christ we have no way of knowing who we are or why we’re here and I truly believe that, I believe that we have God given dreams that God puts in us, but we’re not really able to identify them and know how to use them properly until we walk in sync with God and He begins to unfold the plan of how to use the things He put in us. I definitely find my identity in Christ because without Him I am nothing and what defines me is me walking in my purpose on a daily basis, being who I am every day is the thing that gives me my sense of who I am and why I’m here.

I’ve come to realise that purpose sometimes is not this big dramatic moment in life, but it’s those small mundane encounters that we have when we don’t even realise the impact we’re having on other people, those are purposeful moments and that happens every day.

WEW: What Would You say your Purpose is?

MMH: I would sum up my purpose in one word which is transformation. That is what I’m passionate about, a lot of people love the ‘empowerment’ word, which is a great word, but empowerment to do what, is always my question. If it is to fulfil your own goals, there’s

a problem. I like the word ‘transformation’ better because I know that God is bent on making us look like Him, and so when I speak into the lives of people, I know that if they’re looking like God, they’re looking what he would want them to look like-- which is successful, victorious, whole, loving and all the other attributes of God because His Character encompasses all of that. So my job is to transform people to help them look like Christ who looks like God and when we all look like God, that means our character is intact, our integrity is intact, we walk in soundness and we walk in victory.

WEW: How does transformation translate to people in the business world who are not Christians?

MMH: I think everybody is looking to be better, whether they know Christ or not., people want to do the right thing instinctively, they want to be known as good people, people who are significant, who are making positive changes in the lives of people around them, making contributions that contribute to the wellbeing of other people, so even if someone doesn’t know Christ, transforming them to have integrity and sound character is something that we can all do, the rest will follow suite later. For a long time before I knew Christ, I wasn’t thinking of how to be godly, but I still wanted to be good if you know what I mean.

www.wewmagazine.com

22 |

WEW: What Was your own encounter in discovering and finding Christ?

MMH: It was very dramatic because I’m a very dramatic person (she laughs). I was living with my boyfriend and we had an argument, he took a trip, he got shot and died. For me that became a time of questioning what happens after death, I don’t think it was something I thought about before, I don’t think the notion of death had even entered my mind. Yes, when your grandmother dies, she’s supposed to die because she’s old, but when someone young dies in their twenties it bring questions and thoughts to your mind about eternity. For me I became very sober about what is there after this, is this all there is, will I ever see this person again?

There were lots of questions that I had which eventually led me to Christ.

feel like God put a lot in me. There’s a famous DJ out of Chicago that says, “I got the gift and I’ve got to use it” (laughs) and I think God has afforded me those opportunities in stage., We talk a lot about if people can have it all and I say yes, you can have it all but probably not at the same time. I love music, it was put aside for a season of my life, I started writing books, the books led to me speaking, before that I was in advertising, so I got trained in the studio, I got trained in film production, art direction, writing, those things were latent for a while during the book part of my career, when I started travelling, speaking in conferences and then I moved to Ghana, West Africa and my book career slowed down and gave rise to my music ministry again and to acting, so there have been seasons in my life where God allowed different fruit to grow in a different orchard of my soul so to speak and I’ve been able to live those things out to the full and I believe God gets excited when we agree with Him to use everything He has placed In us. I would say in actualising, I think that it’s important to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit, follow where God is pointing to get to manifest those things. Some of them won’t be on purpose, but they come into being and you love it because it’s a God thing.

"I believe God gets excited when we agree with Him to WEW: From writing, singing and acclaimed spokeswoman, you use everything He are gifted in many areas, what has placed In us." would you say your secret to actualising your creativity is?

MMH: Following the Yellow Brick Road (laughs), and when I say that most of my friends would say if I was not saved, they would say I’ve lived a very capricious life. But because they are mostly saved people, they say “girl, you know God just takes you on the wildest journeys.” That has been my full walk with God, never a dull moment. It’s interesting I would have to say all the dreams I have ever had in my heart have all come true and God has systematically done that along the way and He has done that when I didn’t even realise they’re coming true, for example, people I wanted to meet, places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do, like doing a song with Michael Omartian, Stormie Omartian’s husband who is an amazing producer. Earlier on in my Christian walk I said I want to work with him and there I was one day in his studio with him playing the piano and working out a song for me, it was like God tapped me on my shoulder and say “Hey, I remembered!”, and this was like ten years later when I had that first thought. was like Oh my God! He aske me what was wrong and I had to tell him.

I also acted in a movie, I still have to meet Barbara Streisand though, but pretty much I

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

WEW: I do appreciate you’re not married, and you have been able to actualise what God has put in you. However, can that be the same for a woman who is married?

MMH: I think it is but again there are seasons, when we look at the Proverbs 31 Woman, you can get overwhelmed by all the stuff that she did. However she didn’t do it all in a day, she didn’t do it all in a week, she didn’t do it all in a month or in a year, those where the seasons of her life and I think there is a pressure around us to be all things to all people all the time right now and that is not physically possible, we are not built or wired that way and God doesn’t even expect that of us. I think we tend to be harder on ourselves than He is. I think that we need to take a deep breath and say where am I? Is this my season and what are the tasks at hand? When you’ve done that the assignment changes and we move onto something else.

| 23

www.wewmagazine.com

24 |

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 25 I think God is about constant movement and progression so He is not interested in us being stagnant, but what happens is when you decide to be jack of all trades and a master of none we usually get stuck in the midst of the scramble of life. If we can just focus on one thing and doing it well before moving on to the next thing.

You have to have a plan; He says write the vision and make it plain so that you can run with it. So, at some point in order to move forward you have to institute the plan and follow it and that’s where discipline comes in.

One of the fruits of the Spirit that we don’t talk about a lot is self-control, which is discipline.

Therefore, in order to get things done that has to exercised big time.

When we talk about embracing a specific season of life, that’s why I tell women all the time when their moaning and groaning about getting married, take advantage of the time you have, you won’t always have this time. Paul said it this way -- the married woman should be more concerned more about the things concerning her husband than anything else, take advantage of the time you have because the season will change and your priorities will also change and if you didn’t get some of those things done, you might feel robbed of them because you might never come back to them.

We only have the capacity for so much. So, it’s very important to know how to utilise our time, understanding the season and the purpose of the season. As a single person I am personally into exploring every single time that I have, because when I get married, those moments won’t all belong to me anymore.

WEW: Many women over the years have read at least one of your books which has empowered them to discover their true identity before they get married, would you say identity is a prerequisite for getting married and perhaps staying married?

MMH: I think in order to have a happy marriage one should be more self-actualised and whole before you do it. I find that a lot of people are desperate about being married because they’re expecting this person to come in and complete the picture of who they are, two incomplete pictures create one big incomplete picture; two broken people create one broken relationship and so I think that part of the single walk is getting to that place to where you know you;

you become the best person that you can be, understanding who you are and what you are called to, so that you don’t do false advertising to your partner (laughs). All of these things are things we take advantage of in the single season so that we bring our wholeness to the relationship, so that we have something to offer, love; true love and marriage is not about what you’re going to get, it’s really about what can you give; what are you going to be able to give to the other person and if both of you have that mindset, you’ll have two satisfied people, but if there is one person in the equation that is expecting the other person to make them happy or whole, they’ve set themselves up for a life of frustration, because we’re human, we will fail one another and God didn’t wire that person to be that for you.

Usually when you focus on God allowing Him to work on you, the other stuff will fall into place. A lot of times we focus on “Lord fix him” and the Lord is saying what about you!

Its that whole speck in their eye, log in your own, if you can see it, it’s because you’ve done it yourself and that is a truth that we have to own that we are highly sensitive to things that we ourselves do, so I won’t see it, if I haven’t done it to be perfectly honest.

WEW: How did HeartWing Ministries come about?

MMH: In the beginning of my ministry, which I didn’t think it was going to be a ministry (laughs), I wrote a book and I thought I was done with the assignment, people started reading and thinking I knew what I was talking about, asking me to come speak and I was like “really?” and asking what the name of my ministry was and I thought “ministry!” “Really!” “I have one of those?!” For me it was about hearts being free. That’s where HeartWing came from, but it’s now transitioned into Michelle McKinney Hammond Ministries because its an umbrella over the things that I do, so that’s where HeartWing came from. HeartWing was my sentiment that I wanted hearts to be free to fly and soar.

WEW: We are in the dispensation where many women are rising out of the place of obscurity into significance in many areas of life, what would you say this is down to?

MMH: I think that we’ve had that in various seasons not just now, I think that women are

www.wewmagazine.com

26 | wired to rise to the occasion when the need presents itself and historically that’s what we’ve done from the beginning of time. We’ve had the Harriet Tubman’s of the world and different people that have risen up at specific times, the Queen in Ghana that fought for her village. It’s in us, women have the capacity to rise and when pushed they will rise. I think that more than ever we are in critical times and so more and more women’s voices are being raised and we’re coming together and getting past the suspicion that we have with one another. We are now more dedicated and committed to becoming sisters in order to accomplish things and I’m very excited that we’re championing one another and seeing the benefit of being unified with one voice about the issues that we face. I think that necessity has always been the mother of invention and that we have moments and lapses in history where we become complacent and apathetic, but then something happens to jar us out of that moment and we wake up and rise to the occasion and we go full force against whatever the opponent is and we champion it.

WEW: What would you say to a particular group of men who say women are not called to preach and refer to scripture to support their claims?

MMH: I would tell them to read the whole bible and not just a part of scripture that they like.

There were many churches established in women’s homes in the word. Deborah was a judge, God put Deborah in leadership and she not only led people, but she spoke into the lives of men and she encouraged them to battle.

There is no way that God is saying that women are not supposed to speak in church. The scripture that most of them are talking about was a matter of culture, was a matter of what was happening in the temple on a day where the women were in the upper gallery and they were being a little too noisy so Paul said wait until you get home to ask your husbands all those questions instead of interrupting service.

I think that when he was talking about women teaching men, he was saying don’t usurp authority and talk down to men, there’s a level of respect that still has to happen. God called Wisdom a woman. Something tells me that God would find it godly for men to listen to the council of women as well, it’s not a matter of not teaching the men, but a matter of how we approach talking to them. I think that men are

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

much more sensitive about being instructed, because they see themselves in a place of authority, not understanding that authority is actually not lordship over, but responsibility for the woman. When we understand that submission is not about being a doormat but it is walking in compliance with your partner so that the two of you win the game together.

It’s not a weak position, its an aggressive decision to walk in agreement with your partner, balancing your weaknesses amongst the two of you. Deborah is a fine example of that. She said to Barak “Did God tell you to go and fight?” and he said, “Yes but I won’t fight if you don’t go with me.” and she said, “I will go with you.” But isn’t it interesting that she led him to the battle lines but she ultimately made him go and fight by himself because that was what he was supposed to do. Women need to know how to give men that push without them thinking that they are being pushed.

They’re egos are very important and God wired them that way. We have to respect that they are also instructed to love us as Christ loves the Church, we are not asked to die for anybody; the man is asked to die. So when we look at those dynamics, we see that God finds women to be just as precious as men. He does not see women to be underlings or weaklings and He is really serious about His women because He has said to the husbands, “If you don’t treat your wife right, I won’t listen to your prayers.” We had people like Lydia and others who were over the church in their homes, how could they not teach? We have to look at a balanced harmeneutical gospel, not just one scripture that you like.

WEW: Many know and follow you as a woman who understands the dynamics of relationships, why do you think marriage is such a widespread topic in the Kingdom?

MMH: Because we were created for partnership, I think that we have decided that it is human partnership, but it is really partnership with God. People always ask me, whether I believe in soulmates and I respond yes God is your soulmate, He breathed into man the breath of life and man became a living soul. That also created this desire in us for an eternal kiss; the only person who can kiss us eternally is God, a man’s got to come up for air at some point right (Laughs).

We also have the pressure of the media, we

| 27

www.wewmagazine.com

28 | have the pressure of our own internal longings, we have the pressure of our biological clocks, we have a lot of different external pressures, that push us for marriage. Even intellectually if you don’t really care about marriage, you start feeling guilty about not getting married.

The media, people, peer pressure, movies, songs everything presses you and pressures you to have that as a goal. I believe that marriage should not be a goal, I believe that it should be an inspiration. Its not conducive to me feeling great pleasure if I want ice cream and there isn’t ice cream anywhere within a 10 mile radius of me. Why bother but if I am passing by a store and I see an ice cream shop and I realise that I want Ice cream, it becomes more of a realistic thing and it’s without the frustration, right? Because the possibility is now within the realm of becoming a reality.

Therefore my whole things is marriage should not be a goal, marriage is inspired when you meet someone you decide you don’t want to live without; notice I said don’t want to live without them, not can’t live without, because we can live without anybody; this person must really add to me, I like them in my life, I like how I feel when I am with them, I could do this for the rest of my life, then it’s great.

Why should I walk around saying ahhh I want to get married, no man in sight, no woman in sight, ahhh I want to get married, I want to get married, what is that, what’s the purpose? Is it to validate yourself, to affirm that you’re desirable, lovable? What is the motive for your desire for marriage? Well, I want to have children… There are children for you to love all around the world-- foster care, adoption, homeless children. There are a lot of children to love on if you just want some children to love. Why does it have to come out of your body? These are all self-related reasons. But then when you go to the average married person, they will tell you this is highly overrated. Marriage is like a besiege city, those inside want to get out and those outside want to get in.

WEW: Do you think that God chooses two people to come together to fulfil His purpose in marriage?

MMH: I think for the most part that is true, I believe that God wants to create power couples, when we move past ourselves and our desires out of the equation, He gets to put together some incredible people that do incredible SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

things together and I think that is the potential of any couple. Even though one can live with a bunch of different people, God knows the best one; the one that will get the most out of you, the best out of you and be in alignment with His plan and His purpose for your life. We read in scripture that people’s steps where ordered to meet one another and those marriages worked. What God has put together, let no man put asunder, there are a whole bunch of folks putting themselves together and it’s creating a bunch of disasters.

WEW: Would you say matchmaking services are one of the ways a woman should engage in to find love?

MMH: I’m not against matchmaking services, I have a protocol for how I think they should be used, I think people get in trouble with them because they don’t follow the protocol. I think that if women want to be on that service they should post themselves, but they shouldn’t choose the men, they should allow themselves to be chosen and once they are chosen, they should not engage their hearts until they gather as much information a they can about the men. You need to meet them, see them in action, what their friends are like, how they respond and react to different things. Falling in love online is quite dangerous because its an illusion. People put up pictures and they don’t even look like their pictures. Yet internet dating has its place. It provides a new vehicle to meet people, because if you’re just going to work, going to church, you’re circle becomes small.

WEW: I’ve always believed in He who finds a wife, do you think God approves of she who finds a husband?

MMH: I don’t think that a single woman should be looking for a husband. I think that a single woman should be looking for fulfilling her purpose and being who God called and designed her to be. In the midst of that, her feet like Ruth, in the book of Ruth, will land on a spot. It says that Ruth happened upon a field and was observed by Boaz. If you go looking for trouble, you’ve come to the right place the song says, you will find trouble. You can find someone who you think is your husband because you’ve decided, and it usually ends up being a deception. Whereas if you are doing the life that God called you to do, He will surprise you with Joy in and of its own time. If you’re out

| 29

circulating and doing things, someone can be watching you. You never know when so you’re cultivating your life, cultivating who you are, ,so that you have a field with fruit when this person comes. I always say to myself, “your life should be the party that everyone else wants to attend and if your life is about looking for someone else to create the party for you; you will never find the right person. Desperation always attracts distraction and deception nothing else.

WEW: Living in a cultural society where being married is more celebrated than being single, how do you handle the barrages of comments or questions re your single status?

MMH: I don’t really get a lot of comments anymore, maybe they think I am very happy, I actually am too happy. People do ask when will I get married. A while ago, before I moved to Ghana, I thought I was getting married, but it didn’t happen and I was fine with that because I haven’t waited all my life to end up with the wrong person. That being said, I got a letter one day from somebody saying if you’re not married what hope is there for me? I said, “What has my life got to do with yours?”

God has His reasons and His purpose, and I am okay with that because I know He knows best and I have been walking with God long enough to trust His Choices for my life.

WEW: Do you prefer living in Ghana and would you go back to America?

MMH: I don’t have a desire t move back to America, so I will continue right where I am until that grace lifts or shifts; I don’t see myself moving back, but to be perfectly honest I didn’t see myself moving here either, but God said to move and I was obedient and I moved and it’s the best thing I ever did, I love it, I am enjoying living here, I love my life here and I get to go back and forth. Which is the best of both worlds to me.

WEW: Are You Ghanaian?

MMH: I am. My father was Ghanaian, I was born in London, I’m a Chelsea girl and my mum is from Barbados, I am the full cultural mix, so I’m pretty comfortable everywhere.

I’m in London a lot.

WEW: How can our network of women connect with you Michelle?

MMH: Instagram and Twitter @ MckinneyHamond; they can join my Fan Page on Facebook @MichelleMckInneyHammond and I have a Youtube Channel @ MichelleMcKinneyHammond they can subscribe to, my website is MichelleHammond. com and get on my mailing list for invitations.

www.wewmagazine.com

30 |

ARE YOU SITTING ON THE SIDE-LINES?

By Lisa Trujillo

A

s I get older and reflect on my life, I discovered how much time I wasted just going through the motions, thinking this was all there is to life.

Get up go to work and come back home: rinse and repeat. This went on for a few years even more so after my marriage fell by the wayside and it was just my kids and I. I was just lifeless... living one day at a time with no real direction.

Sadden for the loss of my marriage and having to be a single mom.

I found myself sitting on the side lines watching life pass me by feeling empty and lifeless. I had no hope or direction. My focus had to be on providing for my kids and making it to the next day but with no quality of life.

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Not given them much of a life for the funds were limited and my mental health was even less available to where I could barely make it through the day let alone be an involved mom.

I share this to let others know you do not have to sit on the side lines watching life pass you by. You can be involved and be full hands on and full of life and direction with a promising future. But you first must get out of your own way.

Are you blocking your destination? Are you putting a stop to what God is trying to do in your life by not moving when God says move?

Are you questioning if you are hearing from God or are you hearing right? Are you afraid to move out of fear of rejection?

SPIRITUAL ETIQUETTE

| 31

Don't let the enemy steal one more day.

Truth is you have a calling, a purpose on your life and it is not sitting on the side lines watching your life pass you by.

Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God created you with a plan already worked out. BEFORE you were born:

Jeremiah 1:5 New International Version (NIV) “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

"Someone

needs what you have to offer."

So, if you truly believe in God then you MUST know and believe you were not created without purpose but before with purpose. He knew what he wanted to do with you before he even created you.

So, it truly is time that you get up off the side lines and begin to seek his purposeful plan he has with only your name on it. Stop looking at your neighbour, sister, brother, auntie and whoever else you are wishing your life was like and begin to see the life and walk out the life God planned for you.

How do I do that you ask? Well, start with something small. What brings you joy?

What do you do with such ease and pleasure?

Chances are pretty good that is the thing God created you for. It is probably the thing that someone you know needs this very moment and you are sitting on the side lines holding out on your gift that you could bless someone else with.

Start today, get up take an inventory of your talents(gifts) and pleasures and begin to use them, cultivate them: make them your own. I am certain someone is waiting for them.

If you are stuck or not sure...seek the Holy Spirit ask Him to reveal to you what is that very thing or two or three you do well and enjoy, you will get the opportunity to trip right over it www.wewmagazine.com

32 |

or it will knock you in the head and you will be like oh my goodness, I had no idea this was a gift and the next thing you know you will begin to bless others with it.

You are not a mistake nor were you put here by accident. You arrived exactly when you were supposed to and are right on time for you were called for such a time at this. Someone needs what you have to offer.

Get up now and seek your calling. Pick up your chair you have been sitting on the side lines in and throw it in the trash, you are no longer in need of it.

Seek this day to start the beginning of the rest of your life. Get into the word and begin to seek all the wonderful promises God has for you.

Matthew 6:33 New International Version (NIV) 'But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.'

Me, I found my gift and I am loving every word of it!

I am called to write. I am writing my 6th article for this magazine and I have published my first book on being healed from a lifetime of having mental health issues and I am now in the healing ministry using my words to heal others from emotional wounds.

God has blessed me beyond my wildest thoughts or dreams, but I know that I was created for such a time as this and so were you.

Lisa L. Trujillo is an author, mentor and operates in the gift of healing and deliverance. Lisa operates in the office of a prophet and is based in Texas, USA

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 33

www.wewmagazine.com

3434| |

My life

as a single media professional in this 34 |

dispensation of the Kingdom

By Lola Ogunbadejo

U

niversity was an interesting period for me. I was an 18-year-old virgin, desperately trying to keep my purity whilst hoping to fall in love with a fellow Christian who shared the same values as me- a feat that seemed impossible at one point. It was challenging finding a man, that I was physically and mentally attracted to, who wanted to remain pure before marriage.

I gave up hope of finding love right before my graduation and, believe it or not, I felt a sense of liberation. I was free from the idol I had created, the ‘relationship’ idol. Heartbreak and confusion plagued me so much that I had forgotten about the beauty of being alone and the importance of healing. Though I was emotionally exhausted by the time I left university at the age of 21, I was happy that I

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

could now embrace my singleness and pursue my media career.

After graduating from university, I was looking for something else to occupy my time - a job. Despite filling in countless application forms and joining numerous agencies, I just couldn't get anyone to accept me. A fresh graduate with a huge debt and no experience, it was very easy for me to get into a depressive and lonely state hence why I felt the absolute need to be in a relationship - at least I thought that aspect of my life would be successful.

I was convinced via external and internal pressure that I needed to be married soon.

These steadily increasing thoughts of marital bliss filled my mind up until I started my career in television. Fast forward a few months after graduating with a degree in TV and Film

SPIRITUAL ETIQUETTE

"I had reassurance that all my tests and trials were not in vain and that God has a plan." studies, I was fortunate enough to get a job at an amazing Black owned TV station called ‘OH TV’ where I worked as a runner before eventually working my way up to become the presenter of two amazing shows, ‘Africa Rising and ‘Out & About with Lola’.

Upon embarking on my TV presenting journey there were a lot of things I was taught rather quickly - the most important lesson being that ‘one must stay relevant’. In short, I was indoctrinated by the industry to believe

| 35

that success is measured by your ability to be seen, remembered, followed, adored/valued and the ability to always be in the know. In an attempt to ‘stay relevant’ via constantly attending shows, composing engaging tweets and posing for the gram amongst a million other things, I found myself obsessing over my career. I was totally consumed with my job so much so that I had pushed the idea of pursuing a relationship out of my mind until one day, it dawned on me - I hardly had time for myself. I was getting lost in the industry of entertainment and it was taking its toll on my personal life. I was getting older and approaching a different season in my life and with that I was losing friends and making new ones – friends who were just as in love with their careers as me. However, at a point they all got into relationships leaving me as the only singleton of the bunch. As I progressed in my career, I started getting tired of attending events alone and not being able to share my experiences/milestones with someone.

Loneliness crept in again and I myself craving for a relationship. www.wewmagazine.com

36 | The yearning grew and before I knew it, I joined the dating pool. When I did eventually meet guys that fit my criteria, they weren’t too happy that I was working in the media. The odd hours, impromptu trips and frequent male advances used to annoy them. I remember two counts where I was given ultimatums - my job or the relationship. As I firmly believed I was walking in purpose I choose my job with the hope that I would eventually meet someone who understood my line of work but also, someone who was born again. You see, I wasn’t prepared to compromise on my stance of no sex before marriage and it caused a few rifts between me and potential love interests. I must admit, sometimes you get tired of emotionally investing in someone only to find out that they aren’t worth the stress. I noticed that I met a lot of industry guys who just wanted flings. These guys were handsome and successful with ladies flocking them like flies and, I must confess, capturing their eye was a huge ego boost.

Being constantly surrounded by such men, it almost seemed to make sense for one have a ‘friend with benefits’ - you can act like a couple for at some points without the commitment.

They won’t end up staying anyway but at least you can have fun - for a while. This is the worst mistake one can make.

I remember meeting this man. He was tall and charming with a great voice. His voice was like melted chocolate-smooth and sweet.

He was a production co-ordinator in charge of making sure the filming of the TV production I was working one went smoothly. I really liked him, he was friendly, welcoming and most importantly a Christian. Or so I thought.

Within the first few days of us getting to know each other, I instantly knew that it was going to be a challenge getting him to understand my values. He was a Christian but didn’t hold himself accountable and was very liberal with his views. Although he expressed his desire to be in a spiritually sound relationship - his actions spoke otherwise. I could tell that he was used to getting what he wanted, with ease, yet I was still drawn to him. His aura, his laughter down to his amazing aftershave - he was alluring. That’s when I realised that I was starting to fall for someone that had no intention of having a serious long-term relationship with me, but I held onto the fact that he said he was a Christian and so tried to make it work. I subconsciously found myself trying to match what he required - a nice SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

woman with an open mind who didn’t mind compromising. My façade didn’t last long.

Before I knew it, he had dumped me, and I later discovered that he was talking to about three other women at the same time he was dating me. Heartbroken and angry, I concluded that it would literally be possible to find a man in the media who takes his faith seriously and wouldn’t pressure me for sex. I also found that most of the ‘Godly’ men I was interested in outside my line of work didn’t like the fact that I worked in the entertainment industry. I was stuck.

Enough was enough. I had to sit down and take a long hard look at myself. Now 29, I was confused as to why i was still single.

I couldn't understand why I was always attracting emotionally unavailable men, men who could sense my insecurities for a mile away. I decided to take a break from dating and began the mending process. It took longer than expected as the moment I came close to a breakthrough, doubt/confusion would enter, and I would make a mistake of dating someone who was destined to hurt me in the long run.

When I hit 30, everyone including myself, was terrified about my marriage prospects. I had close friends tell me to my face that they were scared I wasn’t going to married and that being a virgin was hindering me finding a man. I held on to God even tighter and started trying to free my mind from the views of others about my singleness. It was so hard but with the help of spiritual mentors and godly friends, I was able to once again be comfortable in the season of singleness I was in.

Finally, I got the answer I was looking for - singleness is a time to heal, reflect, renew, restore, refresh, grow, develop a deeper understanding of oneself and pursue Christ more than ever before. Upon reaching my 30’s I never realised that I spent a majority of my 20’s chasing a relationship within an industry that didn’t necessarily encourage my spiritual stance on marriage. There I was, desiring to spend my life with someone yet I barely knew who I was. We assume that with age one should have developed self-awareness. I was a prime example rejecting that theory. I was a bit of a mess, looking for love in all the wrong places and it had taken its toil right until God came through and showed me what he wants my marriage to look, be and feel like. From that day, I had reassurance that all my tests and trials were not in vain and that God has a plan

| 37

and man for me. No need to worry or chase he is coming and when he does, it will be worth the wait. Now I’m in my early 30’s, I’m still ‘waiting till marriage’ and have become more wiser and more confident than ever. I still work in the media as a writer, content producer and presenter but this time I have peace and a deeper more biblical understanding of what a godly relationship and marriage should consist off.

Lastly, I entered the media industry as an emotionally drained, riddled with insecurity with a lack of self-awareness. If there’s one piece of advice I could give any woman wanting to enter the industry, I would say that the media can change you in a heartbeat if

one is not prayerful and consistently renews their mind. Know why you are there and stay focussed – most importantly, know who you are. It’s a fickle industry. I was told on a few occasions that I wasn’t slim enough, pretty enough or cool enough to be a presenter. I was even told that my dress sense was horrible, and my interview techniques were bad. These comments forced me to work on my confidence via understanding my identity through Christ.

At the end of the day, opinions are opinions.

The words of man can never be compared to the promises of God. If you know who you are in Christ, when the enemy tries to put you down, you will know how to lift yourself back up.

Lola Ogunbadejo is an award-winning TV presenter, content producer, voiceover artist and writer. Her flourishing career started at OH TV, one of the biggest BME television channels in Europe. It was here the ‘Film and Television studies’ graduate began co-hosting the exciting African entertainment show ‘Afrika Rising’ which aired on both OH TV. She then went on to hosting and producing her show called ‘Out & About with Lola’ – a vibrant entertainment magazine show that highlighted the hottest events happening in London and Nigeria where she interviewed high profile celebrities such as Chiwetel Ejiofor and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Later the presenter began writing for reality competition TV shows (‘Access The Stars’ , ‘God’s Children, Great Talent’, ‘Time To Shine’) and entertainment documentaries (‘The Making Of Me’), some of which aired and currently air on African Channels such as ‘Ebony Life’, ‘Africa Magic’, ‘TVC’, ‘Views’ and ‘Wazobia TV’. Lola is a Born-again Christian who is passionate about self-development. As part of her mandate to ‘encourage and enlighten individuals about self-worth and love. Lola Ogunbadejo is based in Lagos, Nigeria www.lolaogunbadejo.co.uk; Instagram and twitter: @Lola_Ebony; Facebook: Lola Ogunbadejo

www.wewmagazine.com

38 |

LIFESTYLE

OVER COMING THE

FEAR & THREAT OF

DIVORCE

By Natasha N. McDuffie

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 39

I

Winter has Come:

t was a snow day. The children were home and my husband, and I were lying down, individually watching videos on our mobile phones. We kissed our youngest daughter, not yet 7, and then... I couldn’t stop, I wanted to stop it, but there was no stopping what was to come. The one memory of that day, out of the whole world wind of memories that I have laid at the feet of the Lord, was when in March of 2017, before my husband walked out the house and while he was packing, was when my youngest daughter disappeared and then reappeared with her little princess bible, and somehow found the verse that I know now was definitely the Lord and correction, was the verse found in I John 1:6-10 & ! John 2: 1-6. I John 1:8” If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves…”

STOP, what?? Me, is my daughter pointing out sin, saying I’m sinning? WHAT ABOUT HIM, WHAT ABOUT HER FATHER? I shake my head and then thank God and appreciate where He has delivered me from…myself. My 6-year-old at the time was saying (without realizing it or maybe she did) “be angry but not sin not” mommy (Ephesians 4:26 kjv). I laugh now because I can see her putting her little hand to her ear in gesture to repeat myself as she asks me to read what she has discovered in the Word of God. I read I John 1 & 2 to her, and then she walked away.

The Bible says “out of the mouths of babes” (Psalms 8:2), indeed it is true, at that time I had lacked Wisdom, full of hurt, wrath, rage, disappointment, bitterness, but the one that sticks out the most, the one emotion that was the root, betrayal. And on that snowy winter’s day, when I saw my husband quietly open and exit out the door, now I understand, that’s when my Heavenly Father (ABBA) walked right in.

And on Tuesday March 14, 2017 that’s when healing and restoration began. The healing and restoration of myself to the Father according to Ezekiel 36: 10-38 “…I will restore you to the former and greater…” and this was just the beginning.

Doorknob and Rubber Bands: It was a stab in the heart. After my husband left, our communication dwindled more and more.

Sometimes we would talk, sometimes not. There would be sporadic texts and visits. I could feel the enemy tearing us apart yet no matter what I did in the natural, nothing was stopping it. Yes, God can do all things, but see this was a process, a learning

experience, that anything in the flesh was simply not going to work. I couldn’t manipulate guilt, shame or condemn my husband into coming back.

There were just too many wounds inflicted on both our parts that no amount of begging or ultimatums were going to sway my husband. In fact, that’s what he had said when I implied that he needed to choose me or her, in or out. There was so much fear, fear that I was a failure as a wife, fear of what others would say, fear of disappointing my children, guilt shame self-condemnation, worthlessness, anger, and that word again…BETRAYAL. Every decision I had made while he was away was about self-preservation.

I could not keep up with the roller coasters of his or mine emotions. It was maddening! Not knowing what to say, how to say what I wanted to convey, not being able to decipher if he still had feelings for me, did I for him, what about our two girls, then twelve and almost 7. The days became weeks which became months that became over a year of being separated. Us, the McDuffie’s, married for fifteen years, together for twenty not one, not two, not three, but four daughters together, biological and blended. Three grandchildren, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, surgeries, married not once not twice, but three times and once with both our girls present at renewal of our vows, in church, in front of friends and family, having the rings blessed by the Bishop.

What is happening. AND THEN…it happened…one evening as I was throwing out the garbage, I opened the front door, there it was, I could feel myself getting hot, subconsciously I knew, I just knew what was there, mocking me, staring at me, taunting me ( well at least that’s what I felt at the time), set up perfectly so that once I retrieved it could do what it came to do, destroy me. I took the white rolled up rubber banned paper tied to the door knob off, took a deep breath (I felt my heart pounding) loosened the rubber band that I felt was actually a rubber band on my throat restricting my air ways, and opened that mocking piece of paper( open if you dare), and say those words… SUMMONS, BEING SUED for DIVORCE> MY GOD, the first feeling I had was not hurt, no not all …RAGE, rage at the fact that not long ago I wanted to divorce my husband, and by the world’s standers, I would be justified. Oh yes, my friend, I walked down to the court house, had it out with God, rejoicing FREE AT LAST (so silly) that it was going to be “me and you God, ok, you hear me, just.-me.-and-.YOU”. Filled out the papers, my word it was long, and was ready to hand it in. Then, as the official at the courts was asking if I was ready and to

www.wewmagazine.com

40 | hand him the paper- work…frozen, with papers in my hand, staring at him. He said, “you have to give it to me”, that’s when I knew, something was blocking me, preventing me to release those forms! UGH, the Lord said” NO”. Really, I started to laugh and told the official, laughing, no I can’t. Betrayal, that’s what I felt when I saw that death paper, I call it. See, the Lord told me not, I went home brought the papers, and in front of my husband I shredded them and told him what the Lord said. Betrayal. That’s what the Lord had to heal me from. Utter betrayal was what I felt. That I could honor the Lord, but not you.

Injustice, that’s what I had to overcome. I threw those papers against the wall and screamed “HOW COULD YOU!”

The Process of Healing and Forgiving: In our marriage there were many boundaries that we both crossed. It was never a just he or just I, it was a WE. However, Lord, in His infinite Wisdom, showed me all about… me. The Lord kindly, lovingly, and oh so patiently revealed the areas where I felt abandoned, rejected, betrayed, unloved, unappreciated. YES! He also showed me that my response to what was hurtful was definitely not Christlike, downright abominable. The swearing, yelling, degrading, emasculating of my husband tearing him down, not leave room for the Holy Spirit to speak to my husband, because I was talking too much and at the time. I did not understand what it meant to be slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to anger( some versions say wrath) according to James 1:19. I quickly however, did learn what Proverbs 14:1 “ The wise women builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

This is speaking of a woman who tears her house down, with her dishonorable words and actions even more so, by her lack of abiding in the presence of the Lord, Who (the Lord) gives wisdom were wisdom is lacking (James 1:5). See the Lord had to take me back to the beginning. The beginning of my history. I wasn’t raised with a father, my aunt and grandmother raised me and my sister, my birth mother was only sixteen when she had me, there was just no male influence in my life. Sure, I knew how to cook, clean, mother, but can you see it, I had no clue on how to be a wife, not a godly wife, a wife with authority and use the Word of God to combat the enemy, which was never my husband. I wasn’t shown, there was no example, I wasn’t trained, no one was in my family. Ironically, when my husband

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

asked me to marry him, he said it was because I was acting like his wife. The thing was I thought I knew how to be a wife, mechanically, I didn’t have one iota on how to be a good godly, praying, fasting, abiding with the Lord, trusting in the Lord type of wife, that could pour all her concerns, hurts, fears onto the Lord an relay it supernatural, by His Spirit, to my husband…until now. I realized that I was born to be a woman, woman of God, wife, and mother, I just needed to be” trained up” (Proverbs 22:6), until now.

The Word of God says, “when my mother and father forsake me, then the Lord will take me up”.

The Lord had to heal and address areas in my life that I had not realized needed attention. This was VITAL to the healing and forgiving process. I needed my heart healed and I needed to forgive myself for what I did not know, the Lord led me so gently that the scales of hurt fell and I could begin the forgiving process towards my husband. I had to forgive my mother, my father, aunt, grandmother, grandfather.

I had to forgive myself for being so angry and hurt that I was borne into such a fractured family, because I never wanted this for my girls. Miracle children, of whom were spoken into my womb by my husband, who was now divorcing me, and abandoning our miracle children. The Lord allowed me to go through the grieving process, always allowing me to release unto Him the heaviness of my heart.

With every release, there was the room for God to pour into me all of His love and loving correction, as a good Father does. The Lord would remind me of my husband’s background, my husband being adoptive, finding out about his biological mother at nine years old, the hurts, rejection, abandonment, physical, mental and emotional abuse he had to undergo. My husband running away at the age of fourteen and raising himself. I had forgiven my husband for his lack of knowledge on how to be a godly husband to me. Again, we think not a Genesis blame game. The process of teaching me humility, grace mercy, agape(unconditional) love…understanding…. wisdom. The definition of PROCESS according to Merriam Webster is a natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that lead toward a particular result…GRADUAL is the key word. Slowly gaining understanding ad to why my husband would even consider divorce. A man of God, theologian, bible scholar…human.

The meaning of the word HEALING-to make free from injury or disease: to make sound or whole, b to make well again: to RESTORE to health, c to cause an undesirable condition, to be OVERCOME,

| 41 #3(Merriam Webster): To RESTORE to original purity or integrity. And finally, FORGIVE (verb) to CEASE to feel resentment against (an offender): pardon; 2 to give up resentment of or claim to requital b: to grant RELIEF from payment. WOW, Jesus paid our debt.

Jesus quitted us. Jesus restored us to the Father by dying to Himself, He was NOT GUILTY. Likewise, I said LIKEWISE, we must. This was crucial in overcoming the mental torment of my husband’s choice to divorce.

Finally, it is written, “faith without works is dead” (James 2:14). I had to put my faith into action!

One day I was sharing with a sister in Christ what I was going through, and she suggested that I take a piece of paper, draw a cross, on the top put God, bottom my husband’s name, and on the right my name, and left her name. ‘This was to represent that God is the head, my husband is at His feet and she, my elf, and herself, that like Simeon, she was helping me with this cross I was bearing. My sister in Christ was carrying my burden according to Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens…”.

Afterwards, she instructed to write all the sins that I was aware that my husband struggles from. I did.

But here is the best part, after writing them, she gave me a red crayon and she had one herself, and we started together, crossing and agreeing that by Jesus stripes and work of the cross, my husband is FORGIVEN and HEALED. AMEN! It was so healing for me and comforting that another person stands in agreement with me, this is called and another form of being “ye equally yoke” according to II Corinthians 6:14. Healing, Forgiving, a Process, that my heavenly Father bestows upon me…daily. She stands with me till this day, amen for great friends!

To Trust or Not to Trust: Proverbs 3:5-6 says to “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, lean not to your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will make your path straight”. Trust. See right there I had an issue. I knew of God, I thought I loved God. However, one major revelation the Lord brought to light for me was that, I did NOT trust Him. Yes, I knew He is Sovereign, King, Alpha and Omega, however I did not know Him as Abba Father. Someone Who is trustworthy. My experiences as a child showed me when someone makes a promise, they break it. That authority figures could only be “trusted” but so far, not one hundred percent. That when someone makes a vow, promise, commitment, don’t

trust it completely, wait for the disappointment. I remember being a little girl that was given candy.

My aunt who I call mom said I could have it after dinner. Dinner came. She reneged. Days went by, I asked, she would ignore request or just didn’t do it. Finally, when I looked in the refrigerator, the candies colored bleed into each other, sticking to each other and it was old, no good, un eatable. Then she said yes, but it was too late and the candy was thrown out. That was the part the: Lord needed to address to me, disappointment. The very person I trusted, just did not keep her word, I had no clue that moment would affect and impact me in such a way in my future. A lingering disappointment, mini trauma, would be so buried deep within, that as an adult, I would not be able to fully put my trust in the One Who created me. Until Now. The Word of God says according to Numbers 23:19 says’ Gods is not a man, that He should lie…”

God is NOT like man, not like my aunt who promises one thing and does another. God is NOT like my husband, or people that wavers. HALLELUJAH! So when God says that He will restore you to the former and grater according to Ezekiel 36:10-38, believe Him, when God says that He hates divorce according to Malachi 3:13 believe Him, because He wants godly offspring, believe Him, when His Word says that the husband is to be reconciled to his wife according to I Corinthians 7:10, believe Him. The bible says that “perfect love cast out all fear” according to I John 4:18, the perfect love is the love of Christ that we are to immolate. I will never forget that my husband would say that the reason he loves the Word of God is because it’s the only thing he knows that is unadulterated…did you cat that unadulterated, not mixed or diluted with any different or extra elements; complete and absolute! TRUSTWORTHY! See the connection. My husband would repeat the scripture, “Thy Word have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against Thee (the Lord)” (Psalm 119:11). Are you seeing the connection? I trust in the Lord, that my husband trust in the Lord with all his heart, that conviction, not condemnation through the Holy Spirit will reveal the Truth(Jesus) that will set him free from all the hurt, unforgiveness, and bondage of the enemy, who is both our enemy, not each other.

The Lord said” be still and know that I AM God”.

Pray for your husband, fast, forgive, TRUST ME, you can trust Me. Oh how I wrestled and voiced, I will love You, believe in You, do as you ask, but trust, how can You ask me to trust hope in something that

www.wewmagazine.com

42 | appears so hopeless? That’s where the Lord lead me to Ecclesiastes 3:1” there is a season for every purpose in heaven”, “on earth as it is in heaven (Mathew 6:10). The meaning of the word fear according to Merriam Webster is: ANXIOUS concern. Anxious?

Huh? Are we not told to” be ANXIOUS for NOTHING, but with PRAYERS and supplications make your request known unto HIM AND THE peace OF God that passes ALL understanding will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus our Lord” according to Philippians 4:6-7 Glory!

The Lord had shown me generational curses of fatherless children, divorce, single parenting, rebelliousness (which by the way is the sin of witchcraft according to I Samuel 15:23), the spirt of fear that ran rampage in my family due to every woman running on survival mode. The Lord knew my heart. He knew that I saw what He saw, He also knew I needed His guidance and revealed to me… that I was the weapon of warfare, forged through the fire that I was walking in, that HE was going to use to destroy every plot, plan, scheme, snare , trap, pit of the enemy and his cohorts! The Lord revealed to me that I AM A WEAPON OF WARFARE AND A GENERATIONAL CURSE BREAKER! Thanks be to the Highest God! Yes, HOWEVER, I had to trust Him. Believe Him according to Isaiah 43:19, that my God was and is indeed, doing a NEW THING in my family, in more ways than one.

Your Land will be called Married: In Isaiah 62:4 it says’ though shall NOT be termed FORSAKEN; neither shall thy land any more be termed DESOLATE: but thou shall be called Hephzibah, and thy land Beulah: for the LORD delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be MARRIED”.

MARRIED! Wow. Isaiah 62:5 further says’ as a young man marries a young woman, so will your BUILDER (THE LORD) marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you”.

And there it is. This is how I overcame the fear and threat of divorce. Selah. First,” I believed in the Lord, your God, so shall you be established…” as it is written in II Chronicles 20:20. Second, I learned to trust in the Lord, “walking by faith and not by sight” (II Corinthians 5:7). Third, submitting myself to the Lord in mind body and spirit according to James 4:7, resisting the lies of the enemy, who is doubtless the father of lies (John 8:44). Fourth, dying to my flesh according to Romans 8:13 and lastly, but most certainly by no stretch of the imagination

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

least, FASTING AND PRAYING! Becoming a living sacrifice as my Lord Jesus was. He died for us and He was sinless, how much more do we need to daily die to flesh according to Romans 12:1. This is so that 1. God’s Word is made manifested and proven true (Romans 3:1 “let God be true and every man a liar).

2. So that Revelations 12:11 is proven in our lives because of the testing and perfecting of our faith and the truth in the resurrection power of the blood of Jesus Christ.

I Made a Vow: One day at service, this young lady started singing a song. It pierced my heart and I was UNDONE! It goes like this: “I made a vow, to love you forever, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, for BETTER OR WORST. And then it follows with, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, JESUS, then back to I MADE A VOW”! Did you catch that, did I not mention in the beginning of this article, how many times my husband and I committed our vows together? THREE TIMES! According to Ecclesiastes 4:12” Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a Threefold cord is not quickly broken. Three. So, WHO is the third element that holds these TWO together, yes, that’s right…

THE LORD, the Lord does! AMEN. So as the worship leader was singing, I started belting out the words and melody from the depths of my heart! Tears hot and streaming down, feeling the oneness with my first love, my first husband, the Lord. Then it hit like a ton of bricks, like an avalanche, the wisdom of the Lord to insert my earthly husband’s name. MY GOD, I did just that and whoa, there it was, for the first time, I renewed my vows I made to the Lord FIRST, then to my husband here on earth, and sand on the top of my lungs the vows the COVENANT that I made with my husband of my youth, in private, then in public, in a cloud of witnesses at church, with our two daughters present. Jesus, He was singing over me how committed He was and is to me, and then was challenging me, that come what may, am I committed to HIM, and will I keep that commitment, I had made to the Lord FIRST, to my husband here on earth. I DO. I started renewing my vows regularly, as a reminder to myself so that I would maintain the joy of the Lord, which is my strength to tarry on according to Nehemiah 8:10, and the Lord brought to my remembrance Leviticus 26: 1:46, so powerful and full of hope. Here’s just a tad bit of what the Lord says when you obey and honor Him, Leviticus 26:6

| 43 says “I will bring peace to your land. You will lie down with no one to scare you. I WILL remove dangerous animals, and there WILL be no war in your land. You will chase your enemies, and you WILL defeat them (my husband and your husband are NOT the enemies, remember that), verse 9, “…and I WILL be pleased with you. YOUR FAMILIES WILL be large, and I WILL …KEEP MY PROMISE TO YOU. YOU WILL clear out old food supplies to make room for new ones.” And that’s not even ALL. When we keep our word to the Lord, our promises, our VOWS, our COVENANT, He NEVER fails to keep HIS. He is the author of marriage, of COVENANT. SELAH (pause).

Listen, the Lord made a covenant with Abraham, Jesus shed His blood, sacrificed, for the New and EVERLASTING COVENANT, and since it is written that we are to “have the mind of Christ “ according to Philippians 2:5-8, how much more are we to keep our word, in other words, “let your yes be yes and…” (Mathew 5:37). When I said that I would honor, love and cherish my covenant husband, I made it not

just with him, but God, and that is where the threat and fear of divorce left. Because of the unshakable, unbreakable, unaltered, Word and Character of the Most High God. Why? Because He says” I HATE divorce” (Malachi 2:16) WHY? “… It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth…”. And the Lord was and still is witness to what I have promised, again, to the Lord first. Not only that, the Lord wants “godly offspring” (Malachi 2:16). Wow, obedience, loyalty, love, honor, honesty, faithfulness, commitment, godly lineage, godly inheritance. My Lord, the institution of marriage is serious to the Lord, its what He loves, it shows is unwavering, faithful love, how could I not honor Him in this. This, this is what gave me strength and comfort, that MY FIRST Husband, would love , honor, cherish me. Amen!

Natasha N. McDuffie The Lord became my first Love and Husband. He became everything I ever needed and wanted. He filled me up so much, that I no longer feared being discarded, divorced, because He, like a gentleman that He is, scooped me up , healed my wounds, restored me physically, mentally and emotionally, that I finally saw that He truly was and still is working everything I have face, encountered, and lost, ALL to the good, my good according Romans 8:28 he became my Provider when FIRST I sought the Lord and ALL HIS righteousness, He then added EVERYTJING that is good unto me according to Mathew 6:33. Thank You Jesus! The Lord washed me, sanctified me, made me holy (set apart), for Him, in His Word by His Trusted Word according to Ephesians 5:26…personally and intimately! The Lord healed me in ways I didn’t even know I needed healing. I even was recently RECONCILED to my earthly father, my God so timely and so encouraging. The Word says that’ the fathers are to be reconciled to their children” according to Malachi 4:6.

He reconciled me to Himself FIRST, then the Lord reconciled me to my earthly father. God is an orderly God. He begins a good work in you and me and doubtless, He IS FAITHFULL to complete the work he began (Philippians 1:6). Selah! Be Encouraged- Natasha N. McDuffie, Bridgeport, Connecticut USA

www.wewmagazine.com

44 |

g n i v i v Sur m r o t S the

By Shavanthi Karell Griffin-Longe

T

hree days before the largest recorded hurricane to hit the Atlantic passed through The Bahamas, I shared an article in The Mentoring Group for International Woman titled “4 Things You Can Do When The Enemy Comes In Like A Flood”.

The scripture that stood out to me then and rings true now is Isaiah 59:19, “So shall they fear the name of the Lord from the West, and His glory from the rising of the sun; when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.”

So on 1st September, 2019, I had done on all of the hurricane preparations that I could have, with the knowledge that it was likely that hurricane Dorian would pass through The Bahamas. It had been barely 3 years since my 3 kids and I had gone through hurricane Matthew, a category 3 storm. I could still recount the scary event. Hurricane Matthew hit at night and we prayed that we would not

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

LIFESTYLE

lose the roof that sounded like it would lift away. Thank God that the 2 younger ones were able to sleep through it all.

This time however, would be quite different. I tried not to panic as reports started coming in of flooding on various parts of the Island. As I followed the reports coming in, I began to worry when I learned that flood waters had reached a neighbouring estate.

We had to leave our home during the storm or face the likely possibility of also being trapped inside amidst rising flood waters, like many of my fellow Bahamians.

The thought of being stuck in the attic with my kids who were 10, 7 and 5 years old at the time, terrified me. Therefore I decided that we should leave home to try and find shelter, but before leaving I met with my mom first because I didn’t want to leave her behind.

My mom can be quite stubborn at times, so I was trying to convince her to leave the same

| 45

time that we did. It was during that time that 10 year old Daniel met us to sound the alarm that the flood waters had reached our estate. It was during this time that I ran to the door and could understand the picture that Isaiah 59:19 was trying to portray. The flood was upon us, moving rapidly and with very little warning. If we delayed, we would be trapped in the house by the flood waters. After its brief passage there would be a great destruction.

So after Daniel sounded the alarm, we frantically grabbed a bag that I had packed with clothes and important documents and rushed to the car. The kids were terrified. Less than 24 hours prior I had been prompted by God to get out of bed at night to anoint my car with olive oil; I did so reluctantly. I had anointed the children with anointing oil prior, but did not feel like getting out of bed at night to go outside to anoint the car. Had Daniel not seemed to get even more difficult to make our way inside of www.wewmagazine.com

46 | the church. It was during this time that 7 year old Abigail, was nearly blown away. Thank God for a guardian angel in the form of a man who picked her up from where she had fallen and pushed her into the church. I would later learn that many persons had lost their children in the storm; either blown away or swept away by the flood waters. I am immensely grateful to Abba that I didn’t lose any of my children.

We would spend two (2) nights at the church. Those two nights felt like forever, especially considering that I didn’t have time to take any food and the church was not a properly designated shelter so food was not made available. Thankfully through the generosity of others, the kids were able to have a little to eat. There were 4 chairs between us and when the kids wanted to sleep they slept on my laps; I sat upright and slept.

Hurricane Dorian sat over the island that we live on for 40 hours. During this time, I remained prayerful and trusted Abba to protect us from harm and danger.

Once we got clearance to leave the church, I could not wait because I had not eaten in 2 days. However, I was hesitant because I was

not sure if I was prepared to navigate the streets and observe the damage. It took a few days for the water to subside and for us to venture home to assess the damage. By then the house stunk and mold had begun to grow. It would take months for us clean up and discard the damaged items and gut the walls to be treated for mold.

After spending approximately 3 months away from the house we finally moved back home after living with friends and family. It was a most overwhelming and tiresome time.

In addition to flooding at the house, I also had flooding at my office. Before now I had read and heard of the Lord lifting up a standard when the enemy came in like a flood, but after the storm and floods it brought, I have truly known God. We have truly experienced the protection and goodness of Abba. He lead us through the storm and set us safe in a church on a hill. My faith remains anchored in Him.

S. Karell Griffin-Longe is a child of the King and a leader in The Mentoring Group for International Women. An Attorney by profession, she is the principal attorney in Griffin Longe Law, a boutique law firm providing a full range of legal services in The Bahamas.

Along with being a Member of The Bahamas Bar Association and The Honourable Society of Gray’s Inn, Karell is actively involved in the stewardship of FIDA Grand Bahama Chapter, where she is the Secretary. She is also the Coordinator of the Leadership Division of the Pilot Club of Lucaya. Karell is based in Freeport, Bahamas.

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Her Wholeness | 47

www.wewmagazine.com

48 |

Biblical Nutrition

&MENTAL HEALTH

By Sonia Morris

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 49

LIFESTYLE

T

o enjoy good health, we must start with a sound mind.

The secular world often emphasises diet and exercise, but the bible tells us how to achieve a healthy lifestyle by reading the Word of God. The bible provides all the information we need for healthy living. If we investigate the scriptures, we will find many references to health and well-being.

Father wants us well in order that our bodies will glorify him for the purpose to which we were made. (1 Cor 6:20) We need a healthy mind and body to glorify God. Our body gives access to God for Him to reach the earth with his plans and purposes, therefore our wellbeing is of paramount importance to him.

Spirits are not permitted on the earth, so they need a body to inhabit, however as God’s children we have full access to the earth realm. (Pls 115:16) Your body is needed to be used of God to reach mankind, we must not give the enemy any room to operate, hence we need to have a healthy body and mind. (1 Cor 3:16) We are used to carrying out God’s assignments on the earth, our spirit is invisible and cannot be seen, but our bodies are visible, therefore our bodies can be seen and used.

(Genesis 2:7)

How to access healthy living Healthy living is not merely about healthy food, supplements or exercise. For Christians a consistent quality intake of God’s Word is far more beneficial to our wellbeing. Time spent studying God’s Word cannot be excluded from any healthy lifestyle programme or regime that any Child of God undertakes.

God’s Word is light and anytime light is taken

www.wewmagazine.com

50 |

in our body; we are built up to become strong.

For example, we need vitamin D as a precursor to many biological effects. Without vitamin D (also known as the Sunshine vitamin because its main source is derived from the sun) our body cannot absorb essential nutrients such as calcium, magnesium and phosphate. Most healthy plants such as spinach, greens, peas, have an abundance of the important pigment chlorophyll which allows them to absorb energy from light. Putting these nutrients into our body improves our health. The same effects are achieved when we put God’s Word into our mind and body.

Discipline yourself to inject God’s Word into your spirit each day. The Word energises and gives life to your soul. (Proverbs 20:21-22).

The Word of God will tell us to renew our minds and begin to think the way Jesus taught. Jesus lived a blameless life without stress by being obedient to his Heavenly Father and the Word of God. Think about the last time you felt run down, were you reading your bible consistently? We must never get too busy for the word.

If your body is sick then pursuing a career, promotion, pay-rise etc is futile. Listening consistently to the Word will also allow the light of the Word to enter your body to build up your mind, spirit and faith. “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God” (2 Corinthians 5:17) A conscious renewing of mind will change the way you think (Romans 12:2). Changing the how you think to how Christ teaches us to think will enable us to live a healthier life, however some Christians wrongly believe God is trying to teach them a lesson through sickness. This is a completely wrong perception of our heavenly father. Father God wants us to be healthy in mind, body and spirit. Our thinking will affect all these areas.

Proverbs 4:23 “above all guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV)

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Health and Nutrition Tips In some studies people who do not consume a healthy balanced diet were more likely to report symptoms of depression or other mental issue. This relates to the point made earlier concerning the role the Word of God plays in renewing our mind. Having a renewed mind our mental health capacity becomes more resilient. In turn consuming a healthy balanced diet and taking regular exercise is more achievable when our mental health is stable. A healthy diet and exercise will contribute to our wellbeing in all areas included our mental health. In some studies people who do not have a healthy diet were more likely to report symptoms of depression or other mental health issues.

Fasting is a biblical requirement in order to achieve a closer and deeper relationship with our heavenly father and a practical way of allowing our digestive system to rest and recuperate from constant need to digest food. However biblical fasting should not be used to merely lose weight. When we fast, we must remain in the Word and in prayer so we can hear from God through the Holy Spirit.

Fasting should be a regular part of our Christian walk, in order to renew our minds and rest our bodies.

“A heart of peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Proverbs 14:30)

Her Wholeness | 51

Nutrition and health There are some association between our emotional wellbeing and the nutrients in our food. These nutrients include omega-3 fatty acids, folic acid, vitamin D, magnesium, B vitamins and tryptophan.

These are all found in foods that are part of a healthy diet.

The Mediterranean Diet is considered a beneficial diet for overall health including brain health and should contain all the nutrients mentioned above, however there are many types of diets and it can be confusing. Dieting is not always necessary, having a healthy balanced diet is more sustainable that trying to keep to a strict or fad diet.

Our meals should contain a wide variety of food from all the 5 main food groups in order to get a range of nutrients. Plenty of fruit and vegetables and a limited amount of salt, sugar and fats. (See www.NHS.co.uk eatwellguide.)

As mentioned previously some food contains nutrients that are known to help

reduce stress and these should be included in any healthy eating plan. Whole foods and natural foods are best to obtain the vital vitamins and minerals require when going through periods of stress. Avoid processed foods which often contain a high amount of salt, sugar and fats and are often lacking in vital nutrients. Foods rich in omega 3 and B vitamins such as oily fish (salmon, sardines, mackerel), nuts and seeds, leafy greens, turkey, oatmeal, avocado and blueberries.

God has given us all we need for healthy, happy and stress -free living. With his word in our spirit and the provision of his creation we are well equipped to handle all that life has for us.

(Genesis 1:29 Genesis 9:3)

Sonia Morris RNutr (Public Health) is a qualified nutritionist who is a passionate. dynamic experienced registered nutritionist. Sonia equips individuals to make healthy lifestyle changes, enabling clients to live happier, healthier lives. She is inspired to teach biblical truths concerning all aspects of health and wellbeing. Sonia Morris is based in London, UK.

www.wewmagazine.com

52 |

LIFESTYLE

Fitness&

PURP

I

strongly believe that we have been created to fulfil an assignment whilst here on earth.

Jer 1: says –‘before you were born I knew

you, before you were conceived, I called you by name’

For purpose to work, it must be genuine and must truly reflect one’s goals and values.

Once purpose is identified, there is an alignment that is required to occur between oneself and their life purpose.

This of course requires a lot of strength, which some might call energy and will power. Energy and will power are two factors that will keep you rooted and grounded in the face of challenges and push you forward to achieve your goals.

It is easy to sit and just imagine one’s purpose but its important to move from the spot of imagination to the point of manifestation and fulfilment.

The Bible in Ephesians 2: 10 – says that we are God’s workmanship. The TPT version says – ‘We have become His poetry, a recreated people that will fulfil the destiny He has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfil it’.

The Bible says God has created us in His image and if that is rightly so, the question becomes, are we living like Christ? Are we fit for purpose just like Jesus was when he was here on earth doing good?

Some may say, that scripture has made it clear that bodily exercise profited little.

However, putting this into context, this was written after the time of Jesus but was for that era where manual and/or hard labour was a part of daily living. The disciples for example, where all farmers and the likes of that. Jesus Himself was a Carpenter before

| 53

& POSE

By Oge Akinola

www.wewmagazine.com

54 | He went on to do His Father’s business. The men and women of that era were skilful with their hands and most engaged in what we call hard labour today. They already exerted energy doing their work and fulfilling purpose.

Making healthier lifestyle choices helps to boost the energy one needs to carry on in fulfilling purpose. Sleeping well, eating better, exercising and being more present and intentional in one’s everyday life are practices that help support the fulfilment of our purpose in life.

It makes real sense to engage in adopting a healthy lifestyle and exhibiting healthy behaviours in other to have enough energy and will power to pursue your purpose.

There are so many reasons to help motivate " you to care for yourself and wellbeing.

The most important one is to glorify God. Our primary purpose in life is to glorify God. The scripture says that whatever we do should be to the glory of God. Living a healthy lifestyle is a guaranteed way to acknowledge God in your life and to honour Him. You were bought with a price and so that puts an obligation on you to care for your body which is the temple of the Holy Ghost.

Staying fit and healthy guarantees sustainable health and longevity.

Moses was 120 years old, yet his eyes were not weakened or diminished. Linking this back to purpose, you cannot truly get to 120 years old in strength if you ignore the place of exercise and living a healthy lifestyle. Otherwise, one would get old not in strength but in weakness.

The more fit and healthy you are, the more energy you would have to work towards your God given goals and plans and see them to completion. You are the better sustained for the long haul.

Acts 1:8 also reminds us that we are witnesses of Christ in our world today, and so

our lives must model the life of Christ here on earth. What better way to live a life void of sickness and diseases? Making healthier choices so that our lives represent our faith in the way that it should draw men into His kingdom.

One very important area to be intentional and add value is in the area of health I t is tru e that as believers we enjoy the privilege of sound health and divine heal th . However, on the other hand, we are encouraged to praise God with our body to the highest degree possible (1 Cor 6:19 20). God wants you healthy.

“No one wants you to be healthier than God does.”

I am a promoter of living healthy as we exercise our faith and I have seen that many of us involve God in so many other areas of our lives except in our health and lifestyle. We cannot enjoy the best of our health without understanding God’s desire for us.

We gain this understanding by diving into God's word and standing on His promises towards us. If one does not have light or grasp an understanding and truth of God's word in the area of health, trying to maintain a healthy journey in life on " human power will be futile.

The first step to enjoying this promise is to develop the desire to live and be healthy. There is great need for you to be fit for purpose. As God has promised to give us the desires of our heart (in accordance to His will), I know that He will honour His covenant to see you prosper in good health and finish your race. But you must do your part.

The Holy Spirit is on hand to teach you all truth as you embrace the journey of healthy living according to God's design. As you follow His leading, I trust God that you will effectively fulfill the purpose for which you have been created. God bless you.

No one wants you to be healthier than God does.

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 55

Oge Akinola, CEO and founder of Bump n Chic. She is an author, public speaker, contributor to Faith Based Magazines/ Blogs and a worship leader in her local church.

Oge has a first degree in Government & Public Administration with a Masters Degree in Peace Studies from the University of Bradford, UK. After having worked in both the Government and Private sector, Oge retrained and transitioned into working in the Health and Wellbeing sector of which she has garnered several qualification in various disciplines within this space.

As a Pre/Postnatal Expert, Sports and Exercise Nutrition Adviser, Oge uses Bump n Chic as a Platform for helping young wives and moms get to their divinely defined health and fitness goals. The Emphasis of the work we do is on Spiritual aspects of health and fitness, education as well as the importance of physical well being through exercise/fitness plans.

As a Wellness & Fitness Coach, Oge has refined the lifestyle and wellness space of several wives, moms and their families within different countries and spheres of life.

Oge is currently completing her qualification course with the National Academy of Sports Medicine, a Diploma Course in Personal Training for Optimum Performance .

Oge co-founded @bodypraiseonline with her husband , Mr. Oluwatomiwa Akinola, and together they launched the first Afro Praise HIIT Holy Spirit Inspired Fitness. Both run a monthly Family Health Event called Family Fit, where families are educated and empowered in living a healthy lifestyle through Health Talks and 30 mins fun filled exercise session. This event boasts of several testimonials and positive feedbacks from attendees.

Body praise is a Spin off with bodypraise making videos to help people achieve these goals.

Oge is grounded in her Christian faith, she is married and a mom of 4, 2 girls and 2 boys.

Oge is passionate about helping moms and their families understand and enjoy total wellness spirit, soul and body.

w w w. b u m p n c h i c . c o m www.wewmagazine.com

56 |

The Purpose in the

Shaking

By Debbie Flores

When Catastrophe Hits, What is God Saying

U

nprecedented is the word of the year as we are in the current state of the global pandemic. Unprecedented, according to the dictionary, means “never done or known before”. Dealing with this novel virus is unprecedented, but have we never dealt with a pandemic, emergency crisis, war, famine in our world before? Has there never been catastrophe in our world – on a global-scale, a nationwide scale, or let’s go more personal – on an individual level in our own personal lives?

Yes, what we are dealing with the global pandemic is alarming, scary, and concerning.

It’s not to undermine the seriousness of the corona virus and our global state, but that I know I have gone through personal storms and catastrophes that have been so disruptive, fearinducing, and catastrophic in such a manner that I can’t say that another catastrophe such as this is “unprecedented”. We do know what it’s like to go through crisis. We have gone through crisis, or at least, I have known catastrophe before, and I am sure that many can say the same.

We don’t know why certain things like this pandemic happen. Many attribute conspiracy theories, cultural factors, anti-Christian establishments – all these things begin to surface as to the reason why something like this has occurred on our earth, but I’m not here to discuss that portion of this issue. My focus

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

KINGDOM MAN SPECIAL FEATURE

| 57

www.wewmagazine.com

58 | is on the PURPOSE of a catastrophe and the shaking it causes in our lives – why there is a shaking, what is its purpose, and how we can respond to it.

No one likes when their comforts are disrupted, when their systems and routines are suddenly shaken up, or when their plans don’t go accordingly. And that is exactly what this pandemic has caused in many lives – where things were just moving along and at a pace and direction which was a little concerning, if I might say. Prior to this pandemic and the global lockdown taking place, I can say that I experienced a similar catastrophe – one which flipped my world inside-out and upside-down.

I went on a physical and spiritual lockdown. I completely was removed from my life as usual because when sometime like a " catastrophe occurs, I believe that our ears need to perk up and our eyes needed to be opened. And that’s what happened when my catastrophe hit. As one pastor put it, “when the rug gets pulled out from under you, perhaps life is not supposed to keep going the way it was.”

But what is supposed to change?

For my life, the catastrophe hit when my marriage broke apart. Everything in my life was shaken. I was on a path to pursue a medical career—one which I worked so hard for 15 years investing in education, unpaid hours, long days of studying sacrificially. It was everything my focus was on at the time. And I finally achieved it. I was walking through open doors of opportunity for my career. Then this disruption hit my life, and suddenly had me questioning and re-evaluating what was important in my life. It was a catastrophe that stopped me to think, question, and re-evaluate in a personal lockdown.

One night, I had a dream. I remember, I could hear a voice saying “Haggai”. I woke up in the middle of night around 2:00am. I said “Haggai?” out loud thinking of the only biblical character I knew at the time that had a similar pronunciation.

“Hagar?”

“NO, HAGGAI.” “Habbakuk?”

“NO, HAGGAI.” “There is no Haggai”, I thought. Who is Haggai?

I grabbed my Bible in this moment and looked in Table of Contents, and saw that there was this little book tucked away between Zephaniah and Zechariah of the Old Testament. Two other books, I had still yet to read. I never read the book of Haggai! So I flipped to the book in the Old Testament. I read the introduction in my big study Bible. And the first sentence starts with “Pressures, demands, expectations, and tasks push in from all sides and assault our schedules. Do this! Be there! Finish that! Call them! It seems as though everyone wants something from us – family, friends, employer, school, church, and clubs. Soon there is little left to give as we run out of energy and time.” (Haggai, NIV, 1603) Immediately it grabbed my attention. This is exactly how I felt in my life at this time. And I believe many others do too. I " was running and running fast in one direction and all around being part of multiple things, doing multiple tasks, and without this interruption in my life with my marriage, I would’ve kept running and burning out on both ends. Then I began reading Haggai 1: “Take a good, hard look at your life. Think

I lost the things that determined my identity – everything that I thought would bring me happiness, wasn’t.

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

it over. You have spent a lot of money, but you haven’t much to show for it. You keep filling your plates, but you never get filled up. You keep drinking and drinking and drinking, but you’re always thirsty. You put on layer after layer of clothes, but you can’t get warm…” Haggai 1:5-6 So here I was reading this, and suddenly feeling the weight of the Holy Spirit speaking to me about my life. Here it is again, in a slightly different translation: “Now this is what the

LORD Almighty says: “Give careful though to

| 59

your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough.

You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” Haggai 1:5 Surely, God, I cannot be with wrong priorities, I cried out. I am just trying to be a wife, a mother, a good steward, a good Christian, and pursuing a stable, professional career which I’ve always wanted. What is wrong in this? Why would this be incorrect in terms of priorities and values?

And at the same time I was asking this and justifying myself to the Lord, I knew what He was saying. I knew that He was saying my life was out of order. That I had no understanding of Him and His Kingdom. That I had no time for God as I kept living by the standards of the world and keeping a façade going that I knew was empty and broken. I knew He was saying that this is how my life had been without understanding, and being deceived by the world and its standards of how I should be living my life according to culture, society and worldly guidelines of what my life should seemingly be: a good marriage, a good career, a good…you fill in the blank. Don’t get me wrong, these are not bad in and of themselves. We are to live blessed lives in our homes, families, professions, but there is more to it, there is an order of what we have on the thrones of our hearts, and false idols that do not belong. Instead, God was allowing this shaking of my life in the height

of when I would have to make critical decisions.

Everything around me was shaking, especially my foundation I had built my life on.

So now I hit a place in my life where the rug was pulled out from under me. I lost the things that determined my identity – everything that I thought would bring me happiness, wasn’t. Everything I based my identity on at the moment – marriage, parenthood, career, no career… When I hit that dark place of feeling unworthiness, bitterness, resentment, instability, I felt I needed to push harder – go to church more, go to conferences more, set more goals, go back to my hardcore work ethic and perfectionist mindsets of “snap out of it, suck it up, and get tough.” I kept my saving face intact (pride, shame, false identity, religious spirit), I kept my career going, I kept a running household, I kept the picture perfect image alive.

But God was shaking all these things through the catastrophe, because He wasn’t allowing it anymore. He wanted my foundation to be reestablished.

During this time, I continued to be counseled by two faithful servants of God, my pastoral care.

One of them sent me a video of the metamorphosis of a butterfly. When he sent it me, I dreaded it knowing I was at the early stage of being a caterpillar. There was no way of knowing what I had in store for me other than transformation to come and I knew that wasn’t going to be a comfortable process. But I do know that the outcome is a beautiful butterfly. And that’s the beauty of this process, to know that God is with you in it. He speaks through His word, His dreams He gives so that you can hear His voice, things in His creation of nature – frequently in this season, yellow butterflies would literally cross my path and land on my car or fly directly in my path just to remind me – “I am transforming you. You are in My process of transformation.” Can you hear His voice in the shaking?

This shaking that you are in – it can seem quite dark, isolated and much like you are alone. That is where I was in my spiritual lockdown away from

www.wewmagazine.com

60 | friends, family, comforts. I literally had moved out of state away from my close knit circle because the Lord led me there and it was in this place of isolation that my fear was brought to the surface, not to expose me and leave me crippled and afraid, but because the Lord wanted to deal with this fear that had hindered me in understanding who I was created to be and the purpose of what God had me carry to overcome defeat giants in many areas of my life.

There is purpose in the shaking that is happening in your life right now – whether it is in losing your job, dealing with physical ailments, going through a divorce, losing your house, and now this global pandemic – there are things being brought to the surface of the heart and when we have the ability to see beyond what is in the natural, we can see that God is speaking loudly like He did to Haggai.

“What you brought home, I blew away. Why? declares the LORD Almighty?”

Everyone is being shaken in this season and it’s understandable that fear exists, but I encourage and implore you to think about what is shaking.

What plans are not working for you? What values and priorities are getting checked in this time for you? Our reassurance is that we don’t have to keep walking around the same mountain. When you can identify that this is happening, you can make a choice in maturity, wisdom, and peace. It requires humility to do this: to take a good look at your life as God instructs and see what He says to do next.

What is my purpose in life? What is God’s will and plan for my life? Is God at the center of my life and my plans?

If we remember that God is sovereign and He allows for things to happen just like He did with Job, there is something that comes through the shaking, loss, and disruption of our lives.

You’re not at a loss for direction, or hopeless in your situation. You will make the wise choice which is to turn back to God. “This is what the

Lord Almighty says: Give careful thought to your

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord.

You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away.

Why? Declares the Lord Almighty. Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house.”

This is a time to allow your priorities to be reordered, for your focus to return back onto God, for your values to be re-assessed, for your hearts to continue to be purified for what God is doing on a larger scale. And don’t forget His words in verse 13: “Then Haggai, the Lord’s

messenger, gave this message of the Lord to the people, “I AM WITH YOU,” declares the Lord.”

God is with you in this time! When you make up your mind that you will NOT make the same priorities you have in your past, to do things that kept you busy and focused only on your house, the way you have done things in the past, you are already at a successful start! God is uprooting the fear, anxiety, worry, emotions, past hurts, false mindsets that need to go, in order to see where He is taking you in your marriage, in your lives, in your decisionmaking, in your faith, in your purposes for His kingdom. “Search me, O God, and know my

heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts.”

Psalm 139:23 Self-evaluation and reflection in this manner with God – asking Him to search your heart in this time - is essential. We can learn from our pasts! The pitfall in doing this, however, is to look too deep into the past and condemning ourselves for our mistakes and then walking out in blindness again.

Humble yourselves in order to learn how to build God’s temple, how to let Him in your heart and life to be able to be restored to Him, to re-order your priorities, to re-establish your house and family. We have the reassurance that He gives divine wisdom in making the next step, where we have to make decisions when things look the way they do.

| 61 “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jeremiah 6:16. And don’t forget: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 Make up your mind today to declare and know that you are being shaken at a crossroad and making a decision to trust God and not walk in fear, not walk around same mountains from your past. Determine that God is doing something new in you! Trust in Him to lead you along a new path. You know you are in the safest hands because there is no one else that is looking out for your good more than He is! Only a Sovereign God allows this shaking of your foundation to rebuild a new one that lasts! He is making the way, so choose wisely in knowing what is happening and your involvement it.

This is a process of restoration that does not

fail. What God has started in you is to create something magnificent, a New Beginning that is to come. The season for the New Beginning is coming. The shaking has a purpose, the process is painful, but remember His words:

“Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the Lord, and work. For I am with you, declares the LORD Almighty. This is what I covenanted with you, when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you. DO NOT FEAR.” “In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations, and the desired of all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory, says the LORD Almighty. The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house, says the LORD Almighty. And in this place I will grant PEACE declares the LORD Almighty.”

Stay focused. Be wise. Be still. And PEACE comes.

Debbie L. Flores is an administrative support to The Mentoring Group for International Women of Jacqueline Ani International. In her role as administrator Debbie began to explore her gifts and skills through writing about hope, marriage, faith, and all things pertaining to encouraging and empowering other women in the body of Christ. Debbie is also a research consultant with her own company. Debbie is a graduate of the University of California, San Diego with a degree in Neuroscience & Physiology and holds an MA in medical sciences at Boston University. Her life experiences in education, social work, research and medical volunteerism with low income communities, youth with developmental disabilities, and mentoring women continue to expand her passions to serve, learn, and grow in ways that continue to bless and shape her life. Debbie is based in California, USA

www.wewmagazine.com

62 |

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 63

y s e h p o r P

VALLEY OF DRY BONES

By Lisa Trujillo

A

s we are in the throes of a transformation of life as we "KNOW / KNEW" it, many are uncertain of what the outcome will look like. May I say as a Christian; a BELIEVER we have more control of our tomorrow than we realize.

In the bible we have been given so much liberty to how things can work out. The Lord tells us ask what you want and if it lines up with His will; it will be yours.

1 John 5:14-15 New International Version (NIV) This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

James 4:15 New International Version (NIV) Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

As tomorrow is not promised we should be willing to speak things into existence to and be able to testify to the goodness of the Lord.

Romans 4:17 New International Version (NIV) As it is written: “I have made you a father of many nations.”He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed—the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.

God tells us to open our mouth and speak.

If you want something to come to pass open your mouth and speak the word of God back to him. Remind of His promises that are Yes and Amen and that His word will not return to Him empty.

2 Corinthians 1:20 New International Version (NIV) For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so, through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. Isaiah 55:11 New International Version (NIV) So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

We can turn the direction of every situation around in our favor if we learn how to PROPHESY. What is it that you want to see?

Do you have family members that you want saved? Do you have a marriage you want restored? Are you looking for a job? Do you need help making ends meet? Children being rebellious? Problems with your neighbor?

Someone you know battling addiction or lust, perversion, an illness? Whatever the crisis open your mouth and prophecy to it? Speak Gods word over it.

The most telling story of the power of Prophesy is found in Ezekiel 37:1-14 known as "The Valley of Dry Bones" God spoke to His prophet Ezekiel about a dead situation wants him to understand the power of your words how you can speak a thing back to life.

Ezekiel was surrounded by dead bones when God began to ask him questions: my personal favorite conversation was: God: 3 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

Ezekiel: I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”

God is God all things are possible.

Here is the story:

www.wewmagazine.com

64 | Ezekiel 37:1-14 New International Version (NIV) The Valley of Dry Bones 37 The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”

4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

7 So I prophesied as I was commanded.

And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

9 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.

11 Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’”

May the words in this article give you a fresh understanding of the power you have within to speak to your tomorrow.

Lisa L. Trujillo is an author, mentor and operates in the gift of healing and deliverance. Lisa operates in the office of a prophet and is based in Texas, USA

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 65

www.wewmagazine.com

66 |

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

SPECIAL FEATURE

The Journey of Bereavement; How We Overcome

By Detola Amure

|| 67 67

B

enjamin Franklin once said: “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Everyone on this earth will die at some point, whether we like it or not. Nobody likes to talk about death or dealing with loss, and no one wishes to experience bereavement.

It is usually only when we are faced with the loss of a loved one that we begin to look for answers.

Dictionary.com defines bereavement as a period of mourning after a loss, especially after the death of a loved one or a state of intense grief; desolation; loss by force. Bereavement is also known as the period after a loss during which grief is experienced and mourning occurs.

No two bereavement journeys are the same.

This is because every relationship is unique. The www.wewmagazine.com

68 | relationship you had with your loved one who died or left is unique to you therefore your bereavement journey will be different to someone else’s. So no one can say they know how you feel when you experience loss.

Nevertheless, no matter what journey you are on, you can experience healing from the emotional pain of loss.

Two days before Christmas in 2018, my 7-monthold twin baby boy, Caleb died at home. He didn’t wake up from his nap after church. I was completely heartbroken and devastated. I was fully convinced that God had abandoned me.

My twins both had a cold but because of some underlying health condition, Caleb didn’t make it.

They say the death of a child is the worst thing that can ever happen to a parent. No parent ever expects to bury their own child. Losing a child is a tragedy and I felt the worst pain ever in my life. This was my first major loss, so it hit me really hard.

You may have experienced your own fair share of loss, whether a divorce, death, health issues or any other emotional loss that has led you on a bereavement journey. I would like to encourage you with some practical steps to not just cope but overcome on your journey:

Self care: give yourself grace and take time

out to take care of yourself. You may feel like your life is over, but it is important that you take care of your spiritual, mental and physical health before you can love others. Write or note a list of what brings you joy and do them.

It could be taking a walk, reading, taking a long bath, hanging out with a friend, dancing or even sleeping.

It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or complicated. Keep it simple. Also, allow others to take care of you during this time.

" I knew God was

there, even in the darkest valley crying with me, comforting me and carrying me."

Interestingly, I never for once believed that the devil took my baby. I laid every blame on God because even though I knew He didn’t cause Caleb to die, He permitted it to happen.

What I couldn't understand was why He permitted it to happen to me. Why would He give me a set of twins and then take one away?

That was where my struggle laid the most. I thought God and I had a tight relationship that no affliction could touch me. I forgot that God and Jesus were each tighter, yet Jesus still had to die on the cross for me.

On my bereavement journey, I have experienced anger, disappointment, sadness, severe anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I was in a very dark place and felt like I was going to drown in hopelessness. I couldn’t sleep and my body shut down. However, through it all, even when I didn’t want to admit it, and I was still angry at God, I knew God was there, even in the darkest valley crying with me, . Even in my anxious state, he blessed me with the peace that passes all understanding.

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

Gratitude:

Even though the Bible commands us to give thanks “in” all things, this is probably one of the last things you want to do when you are experiencing grief and going through bereavement. It is so easy to live in the past or worry about the future. When you find your mind straying, bring yourself back to the present, and think of what is going well with you at that very moment and give thanks. It would help your mind calm down.

Protect your environment and your mind: when you are going through

bereavement, there is a potential to be labelled by others as moody or ungrateful. It is also possible that some avoid you because they feel uncomfortable with your tears. People around you may not understand your pain and expect you to be over the pain a few months later.

There is no time frame to grief so do not feel pressured to pretend you are feeling better when you are not. You might need to stay away from some friends and even family members who trigger you in a wrong way as you navigate this journey. Also, extend grace to others who do not understand what you are going through and may sometimes give unhelpful advice or comments. This journey you are on is also new for them.

| 69 Spend intimate time with your heavenly Father. This is probably the

time you want to run away from God because you feel hurt and betrayed by Him, but on the contrary, this is when you need to run to Him because He created you and truly loves you.

Abba is the only one that can truly understand and comfort you. He knows what it feels like to lose a loved one when Jesus died on the cross. I must confess, when Caleb died I couldn’t open my mouth to pray, instead, I wrote my prayers out to God and asked him lots of questions which He answered with time. Sometimes I would write just one word or a whole paragraph. God can hear your thoughts so don’t feel condemned if you don’t feel like saying anything out loud. Also, I suggest listening to empowering messages, surround your home/ environment with worship music. God is there with you even if you don’t feel His presence.

Look for others to bless when you are ready. Purpose is sometimes

born out of adversity. We are all on earth on assignment. The clue to your next assignment can be based on what you are going through now. Your message comes out of your mess and your testimony comes out of your tests. This journey you are on isn't just about you but the people God wants to bless through you. When Jesus died on the cross, it was about us and

our redemption. Do not allow your pain to go to waste, use it to help others. The loss of my son opened me up to new relationships and the next level of my assignment on earth; as a Grief Recovery Specialist where along with being a productivity coach, I now help those who have experienced emotional loss heal from their heartbreak.

Seek help.

There is a myth that says time heals all wounds. Time doesn’t heal wounds, it simply passes whilst the pain remains. It is the action you take that will determine how completely you recover and heal. Don’t do this journey alone. The Grief Recovery Method (GRM) teaches you the correct heart work to do so you don’t have to hopelessly wait forever in pain. I found GRM on my journey when I was seeking help, and it has helped me recover from the loss of my son. Yes, I still get sad that my son is no longer here with me. I miss seeing him grow up but my heart is no longer in pain, thanks to the Grief Recovery Method.

I now teach others the action steps of the Grief Recovery program to help them heal from their broken heart as well.

I have grown through my bereavement journey and I am still growing. I am still on my journey, but I am an overcomer through Christ Jesus.

You are an overcomer too!

Detola Amure is a Productivity and Transformational Coach. She is the founder of Super Working Mum, a global organisation dedicated to helping Christian mums who are overwhelmed maximise their time so they can manifest their dreams. She is an Author, International Speaker and a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. She lives in Kent, UK with her husband and children. You can connect with her on www.detolaamure.com

www.wewmagazine.com

70 |

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

SPECIAL FEATURE

H

71 ||71

EggShells

ave you ever thought about the sound of an eggshell crackling under your foot?

Imagine being in a quiet room, suddenly you hear this crackling noise from beneath your foot.

In the silence of the room an illuminating and thunderous sound roars from below her feet.

Soft white shells crunching loudly as her foot descends upon the broken pieces.

Like inner brokenness, hearts shattering into a thousand pieces. Careful to walk in silence, protecting that inner self. Giving birth to a world created in her mind a safe place, a dwelling shelter of protection.

The lonely child cries out silently. Afraid to speak, silence obscure her like a shadowy blur.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV Watchful not to show discomfort, for fear of a torturous denial. Rejection was a discipline,

By Theresa Skinner

love was conditional, and escape appeared inevitable.

Who would hear the soundless cries of the child within? The weeps of abuse and the terror of discipline from the mouth of authority.

Darkness draped over her like nightfall, the light that once shown so brightly had dimmed, leaving her hopeless and empty. Her only friend was the voices she formed in her mind.

Night after night she would pray to the God of her understanding to deliver her from the torment that flooded her mind. The God she learn to love during Sunday school.

As years passed by, she began to think God wasn’t listening to her plea. Nothing was changing things only got worse.

After years of self-pity, self-sacrifice and drowning in a self-defeating life style. She began to seek the Lord.

www.wewmagazine.com

72 | Trials and Tribulations: Jesus said “in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Sometimes trials appear lengthy and linger.

However, Peter states “ after we have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you” ( 1Peter 5:10 ESV).

What Peter is saying, although we go through life’s trials, they are only temporary in the end we will understand. What may seems baffling and strange in the beginning will be made clear through the grace of God. Although when she was going through trials and it appeared to look like a normal thing, because of her lack of knowledge of the word and no explanation of why things so painful happen.

She begun to view her trial through the fault of others, believing it was everyone else who failed her. Childhood trauma is real. She had survive a childhood of trauma from the very people who were there to protect her.

Growing up in a family where love was nonexistent and pain and heartbreak resided.

Accountability wasn’t held in high esteem, control by words of anger, the word love was

used as a weapon of manipulation.

That may sound strange, love was used as a skillful switch, and it was a form of limitation that was turned off and on.

As she was seeking love from a broken family, she was met with empty words and meaningless actions.

As she became an adult, that same love carried on, a fruitless love. Slowly withering away with every lie that she told herself.

She wanted love so desperately, even if she had no idea what love was she was willing to be whatever people wanted her to be to fill the open wound in her soul.

Everyday God was showing her love, His love and protection. Blinded by the natural sight of daily circumstances, she could not see the truth.

When she opened the bible with an open mind and a desperation for the truth of the love of God, she found truth as it is written: "for God

so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16.

Her challenge was to see herself as God sees her, knowing in her life there will be wilderness trials, low valleys and high mountains. But God assures us that he will never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Theresa Skinner is a leader and teacher She has CDCA in chemical dependency 17 years delivered from alcohol addiction She works with a population of addictive behavior She also mentors to women who feels abandoned.

She also is a part of a recovery choir. Theresa is based in Ohio, USA

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 73

www.wewmagazine.com

74 |

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN

| 75

Never miss an issue.

SUBSRIBE TODAY

If you have any comments on any of the articles featured in this magazine please send them to: magazine@empoweredwoman.org.uk

www.jacquelineaniinternational.org Copyright © 2020 Women Empowering Women Magazine, All rights reserved

www.wewmagazine.com

76 |

SUMMER 2020 WOMEN EMPOWERING WOMEN