Women
For the Kingdom minded woman
Empowering
THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR
Kingdom Identity
Women
Winter 2016
Winter 2016
STORM Mindset
BUILDING A KINGDOM
Family Structure
Conferences, events and much more!
SteppingOut!
STELLA DAMASUS
A Magazine for the Kingdom Minded Woman, Promoting Her Style, Wholeness and Spiritual Etiquette
www.wewmagazine.com
2
Letter From
THE EDITOR Hello Ladies Welcome to the Winter 2016 Issue of Women Empowering Women Magazine. As we look forward to Christmas a season where we can spend time resting and enjoying family, it’s also a good time to reflect back on 2016 and what this year meant for you. I’ve realised the older I get, the shorter a year seems. So much has happened, I’ve had to capture this in my writing and the periods of reflection I’ve had in the year. Reflecting on the year will certainly help you prepare for next year, however a crucial element in preparation is to make sure it aligns with God’s Will for your life. So many passed away in 2016 in the midst of preparation, they didn’t wait to see it unravel as they passed on. As you know Empowered Woman Ltd has been the overall covering of many of our initiatives such as The Mentoring Academy, Deborah School of Prophets, Petit DeJeuner ~Mentoring Over Breakfast; Women Empowering Women Lifestyle Talk Show, Women Empowering Women Magazine, A Woman’s Sacred Calling Conference, Woman You Are Called Conference, JA Publishing Company, Jacqueline Ani Inspirational Speaker. 2017 will bring some changes to our brand and I am super excited to share this with you in the following months to come in the New Year, as we develop a brand new feature alongside Women Stepping Out! In this issue, our cover feature is Stella Damasus Nollywood Actress, Presenter and Gospel Artist.
We would love to hear your thoughts. In the meantime on behalf of our management team and volunteers, I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year as we celebrate Jesus Christ the reason for season.
Jacqueline Ani Editor-in-Chief Women Empowering Women Magazine magazine@empoweredmagazine.org.uk
www.wewmagazine.com
3
Winter 2016
CONTENTS Women Stepping Out! 6 Interview with Stella Damasus Nollywood Actress, Presenter and Gospel Artist
Her Style 16 Building a Kingdom Family Structure
COVER
20
Martha’s Helping Hands
STORY
6
22
The Truth About Your Kingdom Identity
Stella
24
DAMASUS
Are You Using the Right Strategy?
Her Wholeness 28 The Importance of
STAY CONNECTED!
Marrying God’s Best
Women Empowering Women Magazine
32
www.wewmagazine.com
Her Spiritual Etiquette 38
The Power of a Praying Wife
40
The Relevance of Spiritual Midwives in the Kingdom
42
The New Paradigm Shift Coming to the Body of Christ
Empowering the Younger Woman 46 Insecurities and Low Self Esteem
50
Are Our Families Worth Fighting For?
Storm Mindset
34 Empowered Woman
Jacqueline Nwokeji-Ani
An Empowered Life. Destination: Success
www.wewmagazine.com
4
Advert
www.wewmagazine.com
5
WOMEN STEPPING OUT!
Stepping Out! www.wewmagazine.com
6
Stella DAMASUS
WOMEN STEPPING OUT!
Jacqueline Ani, Editor-in-Chief of Women Empowering Women Magazine interviews Stella Damasus, Nollywood Actress, Presenter and Gospel Artist. Stella Damasus is a Nigerian born entertainer based in the United States of America. She was born on the 24th of April 1978 in Benin City and is most notable for her work as an actress. She has been in the Entertainment Industry for over two decades and has since been considered to be one of the most popular film actresses in Africa. A devoted Christian, Stella is a woman with many talents; she is an Actress, Dancer, Singer, Radio & TV Host, Acting Coach, Advocate, Event Host, Mentor, Writer, Vlogger, Blogger, Educator, Presenter, Producer, Business woman, World Changer, Mind Re-inventor, Emotional Intelligence Coach and Humanitarian. Her role as a widow in the movie “Widow” made me cry, to show you the kind of talent she had. It was so convincing and brought home the plight of many women in Africa who in the midst of grieving their husband’s face abuse by their own communities. This interview gives us a glimpse into Ms Damasus life and how she has harnessed her talents and the basis of her faith in God. We hope to invite her as one of our speakers at Woman You Are Called Conference 2017. This season’s Women Stepping Out! is the lovely Stella Damasus. WEW: Who was the girl, Stella Damasus? Tell us about your early life as a young growing girl? SD: Stella was born and raised in Benin City, Edo state to SAM and MARIA DAMASUS. I was born into a catholic home with four older sisters and an amazing brother who passed away in 1991. My dream finally came through after a short visit with my grandpa at an annual Christmas party , he used to organise. He asked me to sing for his guests and when I was done he told me
that I was a shining star, and he knew in his heart that I will be known all over the world because of my gift. After that prophecy I never looked back in my pursuit of the creative side of life. I attended secondary school in Benin before I moved to Lagos for University. WEW: When did it occur to you that you had an artistic flair to life? SD: I knew from the time I could talk that I was attracted to the arts. I remember being so little
www.wewmagazine.com
7
WOMEN STEPPING OUT!
and running back from school every day so I could finish my homework early enough. As soon as my homework was done, my Aunty would put on a video tape of BONEY M and ABBA, and I would use the chord of our electric kettle as my microphone, stand in front of the TV and sing along. I still don't know how I knew all the lyrics to their songs. I also noticed that whenever I watched movies I would pay particular attention to their facial expressions and body language even more than their dialogue. It pulled me so much that I left the science department where I was excelling to the Arts Department and ended up studying Theatre Arts at the University of Lagos WEW: Tell us how your first years as an actress developed you into the professional you are today?
SD: Truth is my first professional acting job came as an accident. I accompanied a friend to an audition and waited with her. After she was done, a man came out and asked if I had auditioned and I told him I didn't come for the job, I only came with a friend. At that time I was doing voice overs and radio jingles. He said he liked my voice and my look, so he convinced me to try it out which I did. I ended up getting the role and I think my friend hated me for it because after that she never spoke to me again. Well, I was not prepared and properly trained for it so it was a tough ride trying to deal with the public life and controversy around entertainers. As a result of this I knew it was important to study, train and find people who would mentor and teach me how it is done. I needed to know how to handle interviews, speak to directors, work with members of the crew etc. Being professional became inevitable to those of us who wanted to stand out. WEW: There are many women in Africa that go through so much pressure from in-laws when her husband dies; you starred in a movie titled Widow; I remember crying through the movie as it was so real, tell us why such ignorance happens to this day in Africa and why are the laws not stringent in wiping out such traditions? SD: Women are always the ones who suffer whenever things go wrong, regardless of what
the situation is. If there is a war, they get raped. If their father dies, they are denied the inheritance. If there is a disease outbreak they are susceptible to it faster because they are the ones that go out to the field to farm and trade. The laws especially where I am coming from, do not favour women at all. That is why we still have issues with child marriages, domestic violence and girl child education. When it comes to widowhood practices, I can practically write a whole book on that. Not just because I was a widow but also because of the fact that I helped set up YOUNG WIDOWS ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA. The process led me to meet a lot of widows from different parts of Nigeria with the same story.
When it comes to widowhood practices, I can practically write a whole book on that. Not just because I was a widow but also because of the fact that I helped set up YOUNG WIDOWS ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA. They are deprived of their husbands property, they are forced to marry their late husband’s brothers, they are made to drink the water used in washing the corpse, they are not allowed to eat with others, they are to wear black for a year, they must not work for a year, they must shave their heads and so many other things that are done to them. Not only are they mourning the loss of their husbands they also have to endure the dehumanization that comes with widowhood practices. Majority of the men in power are the same ones who marry 13 year olds, stop them from going to school and beat them whenever they want. How can they then pass a bill that will restrict them from doing that? They had the opportunity to protect little girls from early marriage but threw it out. As long as we don't have enough women in the Senate, as Governors and even President, it will be a tall order to protect the rights of women and widows who have no one to speak for them.
www.wewmagazine.com
8
WOMEN STEPPING OUT!
WEW: Did you go through a similar situation during your own experience as a widow? How did you handle this? SD: I did not go through anything that I did not want to do because I was educated and enlightened. I knew my rights as a human being and will never allow anyone trample on that all in the name of tradition. Some people from my late husband’s family came and actually tried to enforce some ridiculous things but I made it very clear to them that I was not one to belittle or maltreat. And as a result of my refusal to let them dehumanize me, different stories made it to the press where I was labelled THE MERRY WIDOW. I had to work and take care of my two little girls, had to pay rent, bills and also send them to school. I had to continue to work hard to live life and not depend on anyone. Trying to become that woman who is strong for her children will land you in HOT WATER because that is not the expectation of a widow. We need to stand our ground as women and support each other so that these so called traditionalists or opportunists as I call them will not have the audacity to keep doing this to women. It is one of the reasons I set up ADIVA so that if such a thing happens to anyone we know, we will all go and rally round her to protect her and the children. People have called me crazy for doing that but it has not stopped me and it has worked so far. WEW: As an actress and also a strong Kingdom Minded Woman, how are you able to merge the two without compromising your faith? SD: It is all a matter of choice; you can be in the entertainment industry and still be born again. I have had to sacrifice a lot of jobs, offers, money and advances from Rich men which are things that will come your way as an entertainer. It is easier to accept these things and be just like the rest. It is easier to live a glamorous life and become even more popular by doing things with sexual undertones because they say “SEX SELLS�.
If you want to belong, then you will have to play ball. But if you choose to be decent and follow God you will be the outcast. That is not an easy
title to bear but it all depends on what you want out of life and what you want to remembered for. I have always believed that if God has blessed you with talent and you honour him with your talent, he will take you higher and when he opens doors, no one else can shut them. It was a tough decision I made because I knew that entertainment can be used to turn people to God or closer to the enemy. I just chose to handle my career in a way that will inspire others to positivity and move them closer to God.
I have always believed that if God has blessed you with talent and you honour him with your talent, he will take you higher and when he opens doors, no one else can shut them.
www.wewmagazine.com
9
WOMEN STEPPING OUT!
WEW: What would you say is the main aspect to becoming a professional actress? SD: You must have the Talent because no one can teach talent. Be ready to acquire the knowledge and skills through serious training, then the next step is to find mentors who can help you get through all the hoops. Being professional means that you not only understand what it takes to be a good actress, you must also know and understand the business aspect of the world of acting which includes agents, managers, publicists, acting coaches etc. WEW: It’s obvious that anyone in the public eye will have controversial information against their name, how have you been able to overcome such controversy and still come out as a professional in the public. SD: My everyday mantra has helped through all the media issues I have faced. “ITS NOT WHO PEOPLE SAY YOU ARE, ITS WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE”. It does not matter what people have to say about me, my life is not about pleasing man and making them like me. I live for the AUDIENCE OF ONE, and that is God. As long as He knows the truth and He knows the heart of man, I am satisfied with that. The gossip blogs and fake journalists are not enough to distract me from who I am called to be. WEW: What is your understanding of a Kingdom Minded Woman? SD: For me, this is a woman who is aware of the time we live in; a woman who is aware of who she is and where she is. She is a woman who is aware that everything she’s doing is all towards achieving a goal which is to make heaven and lead those around her to heaven. She is a woman who knows that everything she does should be pleasing to her father in heaven. A woman who knows that regardless of the things happening in the world, the distractions of money, fame success, awards, accolades, she is always about God. She is a woman who knows that regardless of her position in the office, society or whatever title she carries; God is the head and owner of her life. A kingdom minded woman is someone who knows she has a mission in life and knows that she should walk in her purpose, and her calling is based on the identity she knows she has.
Kingdom should be at the forefront of whatever it is she is doing. A kingdom minded woman is not selfish and knows that all glory must go to God. A kingdom minded woman is one who knows that if she is married and has children, her responsibility is to be a spiritual cover over them, and to constantly remind them that Christ is the head of their home. A kingdom minded woman is one who is bold, courageous and not afraid to stand up for what she believes in knowing that no matter what is thrown at her, she will rise up victorious. WEW: Do you think God is using women in this dispensation and what is your advice to help women position themselves for His Move in them and with them? SD: This is a time where God needs women the most and I say that with all boldness and honesty. This a time where women need to understand who they are, whose they are and what their responsibilities are. God has shown us, right from the times in the Bible how women can change the course of everything. How we can change destinies, how we can change decisions and lives because women birth life and are the vessels where life comes from.
She is a woman who knows that everything she does should be pleasing to her father in heaven. We are the nurturers and supporters, we are the ones that can stop wars, and we are the ones that control the minds of the men not in a negative way but positively by using God’s principles Esther in the Bible is great example; she used her position to influence the decision of the king in order to save her people. She was bold enough to appear in front of the King knowing full well that a lot of people who do this are not successful and sometimes even get killed. But she didn’t mind dying for the cause. She knew who she was, she knew her position, she knew the steps she had to take to have the king’s ear, she took care of herself physically, spiritually and mentally, which is one of the things I say in my mentoring sessions. It is important to be prepared on all rounds. We women need to support each other, we need to build each other up not tear each other down, we need to let go of envy and jealousy, and we need to change our thought process about seeking from seeking materialistic things to seeking the things of God.
www.wewmagazine.com
10
WOMEN STEPPING OUT!
Women are a source of life, women are givers, and we feed not just physically but also spiritually. We have the word in our hearts and it’s time for the word to be birthed, it is time for women to come together and understand that in times like this we are the ones that have to stir the course of where our lives are going. The biggest challenge women have is identity and this is because we do not know who we are and the authority and power that we posses. Until we understand this, we can never know the mandate we have been given as women. WEW: Stella, not only are you an actress, you are also a TV Host Presenter and a Worship Leader, and how are you able to merge all dimensions of your gifts without forfeiting any? SD: Everything I do surrounds media and entertainment, they are intertwined. From acting, to singing, writing, speaking, my videos, TV shows and because of the passion I have for the things I do, it’s easy for me combine everything. I always say that when you do what you love, it’s not a job for you anymore. It’s a part of you and your life. As regards putting them in a scale of preference, I let God do that. As long as I remember that God comes first, then my family before my career and work, nothing becomes too cumbersome or stressful. I also have a schedule for the week and every hour of the day is allocated to something so that I stay organised. It works for me and I advise all the young girls I mentor to follow this same pattern. WEW: I really love your recent album “The Alternative” where does the title come from? SD: The title came one day when Daniel and I were discussing. Some people choose the name of one of their singles or even just a random name for the title of their album but with us it was different. We chose “The Alternative” because we had one message to pass on to world and ourselves as well which is “for every negative there is a positive, there is an alternative”. No matter what it is, drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, bad friends, depressions, suicidal thoughts etc. In the song ‘Grateful’, I’m simply encouraging people out there not to give up knowing that God is by their side. There is something Daniel says a lot which I feel kind of inspired this song and that is ‘Your current situation may be another person’s prayer point’, so be grateful. And in another song, ‘The Man’ I was basically talking about relationships, people who have broken hearts, even bad friendships. There is a man who gives you
everything you need and that is Jesus. So, the name of the album is very significant because this was what we want to say to the world. There is an Alternative who is God. WEW: What would you say your Kingdom Mandate is and who do you believe you’re called to transform? SD: When I answer this question, people tend to think that I am arrogant, cocky, boastful and proud because I guess a lot of people aren’t used to meeting Christians that know exactly what their Kingdom mandate is. Right now, I have 2 Kingdom mandates that have been revealed to me. The first is Dominion. To dominate my sphere of influence and that means for me to dominate a particular part of the Entertainment and Media world by using my media platforms to infiltrate the minds of people and get them back into living for God. Thereby creating a group of people who would stand as Soldier’s of Christ especially in these last days. They will be a group of people who are not afraid to stand up boldly for Christ and pursue their calling to transform and change lives. I believe that this is one of the reasons why God moved us from Nigeria to America. A lot of people may not like what I am about to say, but this is my truth. By moving us here, I believe that God wants and expand its reach farther than if I was in Nigeria. We all know that there is a certain respect accorded to entertainers who are able to break into the American Entertainment Industry. The second mandate for me is transformation. Transforming the minds of women and young girls especially; I do a lot of things for children because I have a passion for them but when it comes to the mandate that I have been given it’s Dominion and Transformation and the people that I am called to are women and young girls. I believe there is a reason for that because I have been through almost everything a woman will go through, has gone through or may go through all before the age of 35. I can’t even begin to list everything because you will wonder how is she still standing? But I know God allowed me go through these experiences so that He can use that through me, to reach out to women and young girls who need the transformation, renewal of their minds and courage to stand firm as Soldiers of Christ. I have always said that Women have a lot of power and authority. A lot of people don’t know that, even women themselves.
www.wewmagazine.com
11
WOMEN STEPPING OUT!
So it’s my job to transform their minds so that they know who they are, whose they are and their responsibilities in these last days which is what a lot of us are overlooking, and I believe as soon as we realise them, it will be the answer to the problem of the world today.
We sat down and talked about what we wanted each sing to mean and how we wanted the people to feel. If you notice there were different genres of music on the album and he did all of that. It was great working with him.
WEW: Who wrote the songs on the album and how were they inspired?
WEW: How have you found the transition from Nigeria to America especially as a well known female artist?
SD: All but 3 of the song on the album were written by Daniel Ademinokan. “Jaa Gi Mma” is an Igbo folk song my mother used to sing to me as a kid. I didn’t understand the meaning until I grew up and I knew that I wanted to do my own version of the song which I eventually did.
SD: To me, God was responsible for this transition. We didn’t move just because we wanted to but because of a leading from the Holy Spirit. As at the time we moved from Nigeria, I was already a well known Actor and I had just launched a chain of businesses. Code 55 a clothing Store, ADIVA Hair, a recording Studio and also a rehearsal Studio.
“Ka bio osi” is another folk song, this time from the Yoruba tribe and Addicted was co-written with an amazing young man called Moses OcheAkoh. He was one of the lead singers in Daniel’s Gospel Music Group ‘One Heart One Sound’. Apart from these songs, everything else was written and produced by Daniel, some of the songs featured on the album were even written years before we met. I have always loved to sing and worship but I really don’t know how to write songs and Daniel writes songs but he is not a singer. For many years I have known the kind of songs I wanted to sing but I couldn’t write them and Daniel had written songs but didn’t find the right voice for them. It was as if God just merged both of us in heaven and we didn’t realise here on earth until much later. When we met and started talking about our love for music and gospel that was when I found out he was even into music because I knew him as a filmmaker. I didn’t know he was an amazing bass player, he plays the keyboard, he plays the guitar and he produced every single song on the album. It was so amazing to find a partner who has everything your heart has been looking for; for so many years. When I ask him about his inspiration he always tells me God gives him inspiration in the oddest of places. I have literally seen him writing songs on tissue paper or on the back of receipts just because he didn’t have a proper piece of paper with him at the time. Sometimes even in the middle of the night he writes, or you’re talking to him and he starts to play an imaginary bass guitar he’s getting inspiration for the melody of a song.
Things were going great for us but the Holy Spirit laid it in our hearts that it was time to move and I have learnt not to ask questions when it comes to instructions from God. So as uncomfortable as it was, I moved my whole family to America. I had been visiting the States for over 18 years and Daniel had been coming here for over 19 to 20 years and has even schooled here so it wasn’t a difficult transition for us, even for the kids as well. By God’s grace I was able to give them a good and comfortable life so nothing was new to them. The only thing I found challenging was starting all over especially as someone who was well known back home. In America I am known by the African & Caribbean communities but not necessarily in mainstream Hollywood, yet. But I believe that God who instructed me to come here will put me in the place he has appointed and prepared for me, and gradually He has started opening our eyes to see some of the things he brought us here for.
WEW: Will you be hosting any more chat shows in the near future? SD: Definitely! I have a YouTube channel where I have my Diaries (Stella Damasus Diaries), and My Favourite things (Stella’s Favourite Things) I have another faith-based one coming up on YouTube very soon called A Soldier in Red Lipstick. I’m also doing a TV show with Daniel Ademinokan called ‘X&O’ and another TV Show called ADIVA. It takes a while to build something good and sustain it. I had a show called ‘Changing Lives’ that aired in Nigeria and the UK, but it didn’t
www.wewmagazine.com
12
WOMEN STEPPING OUT!
last very long because I had to move locations and I was financing the whole thing myself and that wasn’t viable. So I had to go back to the board to see how I could get sponsorship, partnership and make sure that when I get back into doing my TV shows, everything works out well which it is and I am so excited about that. WEW: What would you say are the challenges as a female in the arts? The first challenge is that it’s a male dominated industry, in fact 99% of the industries in the world are dominated by men because from time women were not given the opportunities to do certain things, they weren’t even allowed to get the training, skills or education they required. As I said earlier, the entertainment industry is male dominated, most of the Producers, Directors; Executive Producers & Casting Directors are men, not just in Film but also in Music. There are about a handful of Female Record Label owners. So it is difficult to find women, not just trying to break into the industry as Actors or Singers but also as Producers, Directors; that are supported. There is a very wrong notion that women are not strong enough or bold enough to be aggressive in the business world. We’re perceived to be weak, too emotional, unable to make strong enough decisions to lead a whole company or take someone else’s career to another level. Another issue women face is that they are not seen as smart in a business setting, especially if they’re meeting her for the first time. I am of the opinion that more women need to support each other so that we can do great things the men can see, and prove that not all women are weak or overtly emotional. So, it is a great challenge for people to see that women are capable of getting into the arts on another level, not just as actors, singers, models and video vixens but also as Directors, Music Producers and Record Label Owners. It is tough but it is possible with the right education, believing in ourselves and most importantly supporting each other. WEW: Do you have a favourite saying that helps keep you happy or and motivated?
one that is most popular and that is “It’s not who people say you are, it’s who God says you are”. I say that a lot because being an African woman in the entertainment industry who is bold and has her own opinions, people tend to judge you, create an opinion of you and put you in a box. I have come to realise that this combination seems to intimidate a lot of people so they begin to see you as something that you are not and if you’re not careful, you eventually start to believe who they say you are and the names that you have been called. The moment I realised that God calls me his child and loves me regardless, everything anyone else had to say became irrelevant. This saying has kept me going because it motivates to know that regardless of what is going on around me in the world today, the one who matters the most knows that I am good, I am lovely, I am wonderfully made and I am worth it. WEW: How can our readers connect to your music? SD: My album (The Alternative) is available on almost all music platforms. It’s on iTunes, Apple Music, Google Play, Spotify, Tidal, Deezer, Xbox Music, and Amazon, music, Digital, YouTube, Rhapsody, Simfy Africa, Juno Download, Juke, KKBox and Guvera. For me, this is an honest gospel album that I feel people can identify with because it caters to different people, who’ve had different experiences and ways of life. We made sure that through our music we were able to edify God, show Him gratitude for everything we have in life and also encourage people to live the best way they can. WEW: We thank Stella Damascus for her time.
“It’s not who people say you are, it’s who God says you are”
SD: Yes, I do. I actually have 2 but I’ll say the
www.wewmagazine.com
13
Advert
www.wewmagazine.com
14
HER
Style
www.wewmagazine.com
15
www.wewmagazine.com
16
HER STYLE
Building a Kingdom
FAMILY STRUCTURE Comfort - Bola Ogundeji
There are many kingdoms, each one with its own system of laws and rules, nevertheless, there is a Kingdom that Jesus admonishes us to seek, as seen in Matthew 6:33. This Kingdom is one that isn’t subject to the natural laws and systems of the world, yet we are encouraged to fashion and build our lives according to its design. This doesn’t mean that we despise the authority of the kingdom we live under – i.e. in the physical sense, but means we are also subject to the dictates of another Kingdom, which is the Kingdom of God. For example, I live in the United Kingdom and I’m subject to the orders of that land. Yet, as a Christian I am also expected to live according to the commandments of God. Therefore, the concept of ‘building a Kingdom family structure’ almost sounds like a dichotomy. How can you build something that is spiritual in nature (i.e. Kingdom) in a physical environment (i.e. family structure)? What is the Kingdom? If we are to build a Kingdom Family Structure, we must first understand what is meant by it. The Kingdom is the rule or reign of God and is where God exercises His power, dominion or sovereignty. When we pray “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven (Matt. 6:10)” we are asking God to wield His authority. The same is true of when we pray that His Kingdom come in our families, we are asking Him to exert His authority in our families so that His purposes are achieved. As you may already know, the first family became dysfunctional when they were deceived in the Garden of Eden. The kingdom structure that God intended was thereby eroded by sin and its consequences. No wonder Cain murdered his brother, Abel.
Here are my 5 ways to build a Kingdom family structure: 1. Seek Understanding – You cannot build something you don’t understand or haven’t conceived. To be able to build a Kingdom family structure, we must first assume that you have a family or are intending to have one and that you understand what the Kingdom of God is about. You will be amazed at how many Christians trivialise the concept of raising a family. We’ve reduced it to something that is about us much more than God’s idea and one that He uses to perpetuate His plans for humanity. For example, one of the reasons God gave for choosing Abraham in Gen 18:19,was that he would direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right.
How can you build something that is spiritual in nature (i.e. Kingdom) in a physical environment (i.e. family structure)? 2. Count the cost. Building requires effort, time and perseverance. You cannot build without investing yourself. So many Christians decide to marry and raise families without considering God’s purpose. No wonder we have so many estranged fathers, mothers, husbands and wives in our world today. We take for granted that family is the bedrock of society and as goes the family, so goes the nation. In short, if you are not willing to pay the price, then don’t even toy with the idea.
www.wewmagazine.com
17
HER STYLE
3. Take responsibility Taking responsibility for the building of a Kingdom family structure means getting your hands dirty and doing all you can to make it work. If it’s lacking, you are not looking to blame someone else but taking responsibility for your part in making things work. It involves leading by example and galvanising all stakeholders to build with you. As a parent, you need to take charge. Children feel safer and happier in an environment with safe boundaries, order and a sense of direction. 4. Pray Prayer is a necessity for a believer. It doesn’t mean you always want to pray but it means you have to pray. Jesus includes praying for the Kingdom in His model prayer. He said to his disciples, when you pray… Say, thy Kingdom come, your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven… You therefore cannot build a Kingdom family structure without praying. Your prayer is what allows the realm of the supernatural to invade the affairs of the natural and you cannot do this by your strength alone; you need the power of God and the help of the Holy Spirit. 5. Be intentional If you don’t know what or why you are building, it is possible to end up with anything which may look nothing like God’s plan for your family. If you don’t honestly know what your current family structure is built to represent, you can go back to number 1 above as, until you are clear, it’s pointless building anything. Once you are clear, you must ensure that you are building with the right materials and tools. If your family structure isn’t fulfilling the purpose of Christ and being a blessing to all the people in the family and around, you need to re-examine yourself and evaluate where you went wrong. You also need to seek ways to acquire the right knowledge, training, skills and aptitude required. Finally, building anything long-lasting is not easy, let alone building a Kingdom family structure. However, with God all things are possible. As you seek to build your family structures, the Kingdom way, I pray that, “The kingdom of your homes becomes the Kingdom of God and of His Christ (Rev 11:15)”. Even though you may be the ruler or governor in your home, allow the ruler of all rulers to rule above anyone else there, including you, and I can certainly bet you will build well, to last and the Kingdom way. Remember, what is a Kingdom Way for you may differ slightly for what is a Kingdom Way for another. This is because God has unique plans for each family and ultimately it is so that His will be done on earth.
Comfort-Bola Ogundeji is an Independent Human Resources Consultant by profession. She is also a writer, author, blogger and the founder of ‘Whispering Hearts’ Ministries, a forum targeted at amplifying and attending to issues of the heart. In her spare time, she regularly writes journals aimed at encouraging, enabling and engaging individuals, couples, and families to thrive. Website: www.echoesofmy-whisperingheart.com Article image: Army Medicine URL: https://www.flickr.com/photos/armymedicine/13584554804/ Modified with patterned background License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/legalcode
www.wewmagazine.com
18
www.wewmagazine.com
19
HER STYLE
MARTHA’S HELPING HANDS Andrea Damon
www.wewmagazine.com
20
HER STYLE
Marthas’ helping hand is a non-profitable community project aimed at vulnerable women and girls. We aim to restore womanhood by providing emotional & practical support. Marthas’ helping hand is a unique way of reaching vulnerable women and girls. We do this by supporting women centres, supplying them with a hygiene kit which contains sanitary towels, wet wipes, shower gel, flannels and deodorant. These items are then given to ladies, at the centre, who need them. These ladies find themselves in unforeseen circumstances, which vary from homelessness, domestic abuse, prostitution, mental health and of course to spiritual blindness. The hygiene kit is a tool of hope and an expression of God’s eternal and detailed love towards these ladies and their needs. I have been a witness as a volunteer at the women’s centre. I volunteered to understand the needs of these women and how Marthas’ helping hand can further support them. As Christians, it is our Kingdom mandate to not only serve our family home or local church but to serve our community at large, in meaningful ways, and to let our light shine so that others may see our good work and glorify our Father in heaven.
My desire is that we may be stirred by compassion for these women and help a sister by restoring hope. At times we can become so consumed with the business of life and it’s stresses. Many of us aspire to being a Proverbs31 woman, including myself, but what I love about this woman is that amongst many things and her busy schedule her concern was for those who are unfortunate.
In times of distress we can pick up our phones and speak to our sisters in Christ and receive prayer or wise counsel but it is not so for these ladies. We know how important it is to keep fresh during our menstrual cycle, we know how important it is to change our sanitary towel or tampon every few hours and we have the option to choose from various brands and sizes. These ladies do not have these resources within their reach and that is where we, as Gods children, have the honour to extend our hand. I believe God is calling His bride higher, to express a deep concern for those without and be the solution to their problem. We are living in an amazing time as Christians because we are the answer to this hurting world and I believe that together we can make a difference in our world, win these souls to Christ and help them along their journey to restoration. My desire is that we may be stirred by compassion for these women and help a sister by restoring hope. It would be our delight to receive your support for Marthas’ helping hand, by supplying us with sanitary towels, wet wipes, flannels, shower gels and deodorants. We thrive on the contributions of our supporters as we are a non-profitable community project without help from the community at large. Without your contributions, we will be unable to meet the needs of these ladies.
If you are interested in supporting us, please email us at Marthashelpinghand@yahoo.com For more updates and news feeds on the project please follow me on Facebook at Andrea Damons. Thank you in advance for your support and God bless.
Also, Proverbs 31-20 says “she extends her hand to the poor, yes she reaches out her hand to the needy”; it shows that she wasn’t just concerned for her household but made the poor and needy a priority amongst other things.
These women need love, compassion and understanding; who better to understand them than those who understand their needs in a personal way.
www.wewmagazine.com
Andrea Damons is a Women’s Activist and an Entrepreneur, and Founder of Marthas’ Helping Hands. She is a small business owner of a PA/Cleaning services which is aimed at supporting families and single parents who need a helping hand. She attends New Testament Assembly (South Croydon) where she serves as part of the Worship ministry.
21
HER STYLE
The Truth About Your
Kingdom Identity Reverend Lara Akinola In the world that we live in today, the truth about who we are has been skewed by the demands and assumed norms. Most of us take our identity from the things we have and do, or from the events that occur in our lives. Whilst all this may be good things for us to have and be, and some unfortunate events may have occurred in our lives, they don’t really define who we are. Our identity is truly in Christ and His kingdom. This is a big topic but, for the purpose of this article, I will attempt to explore the truth about our identity in the kingdom of God, looking at its benefits and our responsibilities as citizens of the kingdom Let us first establish that, as a Christian, you belong to the kingdom of God and this is the primary place from which you should operate. Philippians 3:20 tells us that our citizenship is in heaven and also in John 15:19 Jesus clearly tells us that He called us out of this world. So, you see, your identity is in Christ. Benefits of Kingdom Identity The truth is that you are a child of God according to John 1:12 “Yet, to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” In the same way we take our earthly identity from our earthly father, we take our real identity from our heavenly Father. His DNA is in you because He made you in His image and after His likeness.
www.wewmagazine.com
22
HER STYLE
The truth is that you are royalty because your Father is the King of kings and the Lord of lords. 1Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” So can you see that you are no ordinary person? You must always be mindful of who you are, regardless of what is going on around you. You cannot allow life to label you. The clothes that you wear do not define you. The car that you drive or the house that you live in do not define you. Whether or not you have these things, you are still as powerful, as valuable and as important. The events that occur in your life will come and go but what remains is who you really are at the core. Your identity is in Christ and not in any of these fleeting things. You may also want to consider this truth that you have direct access to God. Ephesians 2:18 “For through Him we have access to the Father by one Spirit.” So, you see that your Kingdom identity qualifies you to approach God your Father in any and all circumstances. Wherever you may be, whatever may be the matter, you can call on God and bring everything before Him. There is nothing too big or too small to bring before God because He is interested in every detail of our life. If it is important to you, you must know that it is also important to your Father and He is willing to guide, help, support and resource you. Luke 12:32 says “it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom.” So, you see that He will meet all your needs; you don’t have to worry about anything. Another truth to consider is the fact that as a citizen of the Kingdom, you have overcome the world. 1John5:4 “For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith.” This means that no trial in this world can defeat you. God is for you and Jesus purchased your victory already. You just need to be aware of this at all times and remember to appropriate your victory in every challenging situation. Much can be said about the benefits of your Kingdom identity but with every right, comes responsibilities. So, let us look at some of our responsibilities as citizens of the Kingdom of God.
As a citizen of the Kingdom, you are expected to live a holy life; 1Thessalonians 4:7 “For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” God is holy and so is His Kingdom. Romans 14:17 describes the Kingdom of God as Righteousness, Peace and Joy; and because our identity is from this Kingdom, it should follow naturally that we aspire always to live a life that truly reflects this Kingdom. I understand that no one is perfect and we all have our tendencies and proclivities but we must daily submit our weaknesses to God and allow Him to perfect us and make us into what He wants us to be. We must daily renew our minds in the word of God and allow the word to form our character. As citizens of the Kingdom of God, you are also expected to uphold that name by which you are identified. This means that you shouldn’t misrepresent the kingdom of God in the way you respond to life, for example: •when you’re angry, you don’t sin – Ephesians4:26 •you put away falsehood from your mouth – Ephesians 4:25 •the fruits of the Spirit are evident in your life – Galatians 5:22 Also, we must recognize always that it is God who rules and reigns in this Kingdom and our responsibility is to submit to His commands. The kingdom of God is not democracy, it is theocracy and in as much as God wants us to bring our petition and desires to Him because He cares for us, it is not an invitation to challenge His authority or make suggestions to modify His will. We have to accept that He is All-knowing and All-seeing and also accept our limited perceptions where God is concerned means that we don’t know what He knows, and we don’t see what He sees. So we have to trust His sovereignty and wisdom and do as He has said, knowing that He has our best intention at heart at all times, even though it may not seem so in any particular circumstance. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know that plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Submitting to the will of God is our responsibility as people who have his identity.
Reverend Lara Akinola is the founder and CEO of The LA Organization, an organisation dedicated to fostering and facilitating your personal development, using various interventions including coaching, mentoring, training, seminars and workshops. Lara has over 15 years' experience as a well sought after Strategic Human Resources Consultant, a Transformational Speaker, a Coach and a mentor. She is also a Minister of the Gospel. Lara is a mother and a grandmother.
www.wewmagazine.com
23
Are You Using The Right Strategy? Pastor Seyi Eyitayo
One of the biggest problems faced by business owners today is the lack of an effective strategy. You might have a great product or service but it is your strategy that will help you communicate the “Value” of your products or services. The attention span of your clients is constantly shrinking due to the huge volume of marketing from your competitors who are also consistently trying to get their attention. It is time to start thinking outside the box if you really what to communicate your value in the most effective way. Strategy, Strategy, Strategy, is what you must focus on. As a Christian, I learnt a great deal from Jesus about how to connect with those you want to serve. Luke 5:1-11 Contemporary English Version (CEV): Jesus Chooses His First Disciples “Jesus was standing on the shore of Lake Gennesaret, teaching the people as they crowded around him to hear God’s message.Near the shore he saw two boats left there by some fishermen who had gone to wash their nets. Jesus got into the boat that belonged to Simon and asked him to row it out a little way from the shore. Then Jesus sat down in the boat to teach the crowd.
www.wewmagazine.com
24
HER STYLE
When Jesus had finished speaking, he told Simon, “Row the boat out into the deep water and let your nets down to catch some fish.” “Master,” Simon answered, “we have worked hard all night long and have not caught a thing. But if you tell me to, I will let the nets down." They did it and caught so many fish that their nets began ripping apart. Then they signalled for their partners in the other boat to come and help them. The men came, and together they filled the two boats so full that they both began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this happen, he knelt down in front of Jesus and said, “Lord, don’t come near me! I am a sinner.” Peter and everyone with him were completely surprised at all the fish they had caught.
He had been successful because He identified Peter's problem and positioned Himself as the solution. As an Entrepreneur you must quit trying to push your product or service down the throat of your customer. Instead, be like Jesus by identifying their most pressing needs then positioning yourself as the solution. Once your potential customers experience some result due to the service you provided, guess what? They will throw money at you, more than you are expecting. Why? Value, Value, Value Anybody can disagree with the opinions of another human being but no one can argue with or discredit another person's experience.
His partners James and John, the sons of Zebedee, were surprised too. Jesus told Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you will bring in people instead of fish.” The men pulled their boats up on the shore. Then they left everything and went with Jesus.”
One of my Mentors once said: "Only fools argue with proof".
It is clearly obvious in the above scripture that Jesus was apparently very strategic when He went about choosing His disciples.
Would you like me to show you how you can implement some of these effective strategies in your business such that you can achieve an increase in your sales? If you have answered “Yes”, all you have to do now is click on the link below to receive a free gift from me that would help you to Close More Sales.
He did not bombard them with questions nor did He try to drive a hard sale by being pushy. So what did He do? Notice in the scripture above, He had observed Simon (also known as Peter) and He knew and also understood the dilemma he was facing. Peter was frustrated because he had not caught any fish all day. Jesus immediately suggested a solution; He told him what to do in order to get the result he desired.
We can see in the scripture how strategic Jesus was. He focused on meeting Peter’s needs before preaching to him or even trying to get them to join His campaign to save the world. Jesus was outward and not inward-looking like some Entrepreneurs are.
He focused on meeting Peter’s needs before preaching to him or even trying to get them to join His campaign to save the world.
The proof that you are the solution your potential clients have been looking for is all in the value they get from you to begin with.
Click Here Now: http://www.seicoaching.com
Pastor Seyi Eyitayo is a man on a mission. He is the founder of the "One Event" which is an outreach Ministry focusing on helping people build meaningful and purposeful relationships in every area of their lives. He is also an author, property investor, speaker and the founder and C.E.O of S.E.I coaching which specializes in helping both sales professionals and entrepreneurs to triple their sales in 60 days. More details: www.seicoaching.com Article image: https://www.goodfreephotos.com/mexico/mexico-city/mexican-stock-exchange-in-mexico-citymexico.jpg.php
www.wewmagazine.com
25
www.wewmagazine.com
26
HER
Wholeness
www.wewmagazine.com
27
HER WHOLENESS
THE IMPORTANCE OF MARRYING GOD’S BEST Reverend Lara Akinola www.wewmagazine.com
28
HER WHOLENESS
I think it should go without saying that a Christian woman going into marriage should seek to marry God’s best for her. Not just who she thinks is best for her or based on the expectations of her friends and family but who God says is best for her. However, in order to achieve this, I think it is important that we define what would constitute ‘God’s best’. This is a big subject that I don’t think can be fully addressed within the parameter of this article but I will attempt to address some key points that I believe will help a woman seeking to go into marriage. The first place to start, as a Christian woman, is the reverential fear of God. Psalm 25:12 says “who is the man (or woman) that fears the Lord, He will instruct him (or her) in the way chosen for him (or her)”. You see, there is a way that is already chosen for the woman, including her husband. So, her reverential fear of the Lord will drive her to seek His face in terms of the way chosen for her regarding her marital life. Furthermore, Proverbs 14:12 says “There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end, it leads to death”. Quite often, we make choices, especially in a case like this, based on our carnal appetite and/or our limited knowledge, but we soon find that these choices don’t always lead to our desired outcome. This therefore means that a Christian woman shouldn’t take a step in any direction, including marriage, without checking it with God first. Secondly, a Christian woman must trust God with her desires. She must submit her desires to Him because He knows what is best for her. As a young lady, she may have had an idea of the type of man she wants to be her husband. We’ve all been there with our ‘shopping list’ of the ideal man. However, Proverbs3:5&6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path”. More often than not, our own understanding will fail us, because we know and see in part. It is important to know and remember that God is the all-seeing and the all-knowing God. He sees and knows beyond what we see and know. So, what she sees and knows about the man that she considers to be ideal for her is limited, but submitting to God and allowing Him to direct her will help to ensure that she ends up marrying God’s best for her.
Thirdly, a Christian woman seeking to get married must remember the primary purpose of marriage. According to the bible, God instituted marriage between Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:18 where it says “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a helper suitable for him”. However, you will note in the preceding verse 15 that this was after God had put man in the garden and asked him to take care of it. In other words, the man God wants her to marry is the man that she will be able to support and able to fulfil her own assignment within the assignment that God has given him. For example, not every woman can marry a doctor, because doctors work long and unsocial hours. A woman that will marry a doctor will not be a nag or complain every time her husband is not present at their child’s presentation in school or when he is called to the hospital in an emergency, even though they had planned a date together. She would be a woman who can accommodate her husband’s long and unsocial hours without misrepresenting him with the children but will instead cover for him. What I’m trying to say here is that there must be a harmonious understanding and support of each other’s assignments. Where this is absent, there will be frustrations, resentment and conflicts. God is not an author of confusion.
We’ve all been there with our ‘shopping list’ of the ideal man. However, Proverbs3:5&6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path”. Another reason why God instituted marriage is because He seeks a godly offspring – Malachi 2:15. If we remember that the family is the bedrock of the society, we will understand the importance of producing godly offspring who are going to populate the society.
www.wewmagazine.com
29
HER WHOLENESS
The above points do not mean that God is dictatorial, that He doesn’t expect us to have or express our desires. They mean that we must submit our desires to Him and cross check them with Him, allowing Him to influence those desires. Also when things go wrong, as they often do, or when a challenge comes against that marriage, because challenges always arise, it would be easier for her to take them to God in prayer for further guidance and direction, because she knows that she had sought God’s face before she entered into marriage with the man.
Her confidence in the knowledge that her decision to marry the man was not independent of God, but rather was guided by Him, will go a long way in strengthening her in the days of trials. Another reason why a woman must marry God’s best for her is that it would be easier for both her and her husband to deal with each other’s proclivities and tendencies. Remembering that people change and develop as they grow older and no one stays the same, they will be bestmatched for accommodating and supporting each other’s growth and development.
Conclusively, we can see from the above points that marriage really is all about God and not just for our own pleasure, even though God does want and expects us to derive pleasure from our marriage. Ultimately, it is all about Him and for Him, and having this mindset when going into a marriage will help to honour God even with our marriage.
Reverend Lara Akinola is the founder and CEO of The LA Organisation, an organisation dedicated to fostering and facilitating your personal development, using various interventions including coaching, mentoring, training, seminars and workshops. Lara has over 15 years' experience as a well sought after Strategic Human Resources Consultant, a Transformational Speaker, a Coach and a mentor. She is also a Minister of the Gospel. Lara is a mother and a grandmother. Wedding rings images: By Litho Printers (wedding rings) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
www.wewmagazine.com
30
“For I knew the plans I have towards you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future� Jeremiah 29:11
Image: https://www.flickr.com/photos/patrick_nouhailler/8685463098/
www.wewmagazine.com
31
HER WHOLENESS
Storm Mindset® Book Series Tope Songonuga It is a fact that life is likely to happen for some of us, at some point in our life’s journey, in a way that we wouldn’t have chosen. Some would go through a lot more valley experiences than they would mountaintop victories; some would experience some not-so-nice (but purposeful!) storms early in life, some others later. For some it has been ordained that they would just get battered by life’s storms throughout their lifetime; they are either in a storm, coming out of or about to go into another storm. Ouch! Could this be because “From him to whom much is given, much more is expected”? Or that the call upon their life is so heavy that it rattles Satan’s cage too uncomfortably for him not to go the extra-mile? I have always wondered about that.
When God finally led me to identify my purpose and to understand that every living being is dealing with an issue, whether or not it is visible to others and that I should not allow myself (person or appearance) to be judged by or have my imperfections called out (or worse still, derided) by others who themselves are imperfect. As part of this metamorphosis I learnt the true meaning and significance of the word ‘grace’ and how to extend to others that which I receive undeservedly from Abba Father Himself. This realisation helped me to settle comfortably into my skin and I am now in total acceptance of who I am because I know full well who and whose I am (Hallelujah!). The ‘body image’ storm later caused another storm in my life – a divorce storm. Yep; I felt so inadequate in the physical appearance stakes that I managed to settle into marriage with the wrong person. Needless to say that divorce was inevitable, an ugly one that itself caused yet another storm – a financial storm. Oh boy! What a rollercoaster; no wonder God wanted me to speak up! He had been preparing me ‘for such a time as this’; having gone through (still go through from time to time) some painful experiences I had been positioned to fulfil my vision through what I call my ministry of encouragement (Mindset Makeover Mission). All of this is covered in more detail in my spiritual autobiography – Trials Turned to Gold. The Storm Mindset® book series is a culmination of the outcome of my storm experiences which include body image, divorce, financial, bereavement etc. Publishing this book series is an act of obedience. God had asked me to get over myself and share my story but it felt so counter natural to me that for years I simply refused to obey.
I eventually realised that I could not run away any longer and, much like my brother Jonah in the bible, I succumbed and simply got out of A storm could leave outward or inward scars, an God’s way in order for His will to be done. I early storm has left outward scars on my body. started by authoring and publishing my spiritual Today I walk with my head held high, in spite of autobiography (Trials Turned to Gold – 2013) but later got the call to help to liberate others having very visible keloid scars on the back of just as I had been liberated by ‘coming out’ in my hands which cannot be hidden even if I had that book. Trials Turned to Gold was an the inclination to (which I don’t, thankfully!). epiphany for me and I now understand that I had Mind you, I wasn’t always the bold self I am to get past that hurdle in order to step into and today and as a matter of fact for almost a decade begin to walk in my purpose, which is being after the domestic gas fire incident that caused fulfilled via the Mindset Makeover Mission. the scars I simply didn’t have the confidence to How could I have gone into TV and Radio presentation, as confidently as I seemed to have show up as myself. By this I mean that I had deprived myself of the liberty that being a child done, if I were still allowing the scars on my body to define me and constrain (to the point of of God accords a person. I was in hiding from hijack) my life’s purpose? the world, too concerned about people’s opinions.
www.wewmagazine.com
32
HER WHOLENESS
“They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death” (Revelation 12:11). I believe that this passage exhorts us to share our testimony because of its inherent power – it can equip, liberate, inspire, encourage and empower someone, somewhere, sometime. You just never know! It is of course the goal of the enemy of our soul – Satan – to keep us from sharing our testimonies, just in case it helps to liberate someone from the bondage (of shame, fear, inadequacy, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, insecurity etc.) in which he has put them, alienating them by selling them the lie that others have a pain- and storm-free life. BIG FAT LIE! It is from speaking out (of course a book form can reach a wider audience) that we can help to break this hold. So, I invite you to collaborate with us on the Storm Mindset® book series by submitting testimonies about how life may have happened for you. What storm have you had to wade, how did you get through it, who were you before, during and after and who have you become as a result or even in spite of the storm?
back and thank God for refining you with His fire while in the storm? For me, my faith grew after I came out of the divorce storm; I had learnt enough lessons to not want to go back there again. Those storms were horrible but absolutely purposeful; they moved me from self- to God-dependency and I now trust God more than I did in the earlier part of my life. I have had to go through refinement by physical, emotional and spiritual fires; gosh I must have had a lot of dross that needed to be removed! Looking back now I absolutely wouldn’t change any aspect of my life experiences because they are what contribute to who I am today; those storms are an inextricable but large part of the tapestry of my life. Today, people see a confident and articulate person but have no idea what storms I had to (and still do) endure and the valleys I had to walk through to get to where I am today and in order to continue working on and walking towards my destiny. To God be all the glory; Hallelujah! There is a small remuneration for your contribution to the series, as a token of gratitude for giving of yourself and time by sharing your story to help others. For more information and to find out how to contribute your story please visit: http://www.stormmindset.com/submityour-story/
Did your faith help or was it adverselyimpacted; did you turn your back on God believing He had turned His on you because you didn’t feel His presence or touch while in the storm? Or was it because of the storm that you now have a deeper relationship with God? What business venture or ministry did the storm birth in your life? Was it during the storm that you identified your life’s purpose? Do you ever look
www.wewmagazine.com
Tope Songonuga is at once a mother, Motivational Speaker, Mindset Coach, Businesswoman, IT Professional, Author, Talk show host and the CEO of Mindset Makeover Mission® Publishing, all depending on the time of day! She is credited with inventing the concept of a Storm Mindset®. Email publisher@mindsetmakeovermission. com), Facebook (Mindset Makeover Mission) and Twitter (@mindsetmission)
33
HER WHOLENESS
An Empowered Life Destination:
SUCCESS Michelle Omo-Alaye
Looking back through my life, I have always felt, right from when I was a child, that there was more to what the world presented. I had an internal belief that my life was important and relevant but the experiences which followed impacted my path and, with each experience, relationship and emotion, I got more lost and less certain of who I was. Without going into detail, I discovered that with each trial, temptation and experience, I discovered another part of myself in Christ. I began to ask these questions of myself: “what am I doing with what I have been given”? and “who am I becoming in the process?”.
Being busy, having position and being known all mean nothing, unless it is God's plan for your life. It is imprinted in us from a young age that we are equal to the sum of what we do. If you work hard, you can be anything and go anywhere. Really? After graduating from university, I went straight on to life - employment, starting a family, buying a house, going on holidays; my life continued along the path of status quo. I had arrived, I had achieved societal standards but I knew there had to be more, so much more to life.
If you work hard, you can be anything and go anywhere. Really? As Christians we learn from the Bible, our success is not only about the things we do but
who we belong to and what we become in the process, through our obedience to God. Living an empowered life is understanding that we are no longer mere human beings but Christbeings, positioned with power and authority, through Jesus Christ, to impact the world for God. I had thought that pursuing success was me choosing the world over God but that was not the case. As a Christ-being, success meant living a life that honours God, in marriage, parenting, business, career, relationships, church and community
www.wewmagazine.com
34
HER WHOLENESS
I identified that to get to the destination of success which God intends for me, I needed to:
the impact He made to people’s lives and communities.
1.Trust God to lead my life – accepting Jesus Christ brings us back into relationship with God. Our lives no longer belong to us, they belong to God and it is our role to meditate on the Word of God and develop a relationship with the Holy Spirit to receive His direction. Do you ask God for direction daily? Do you make your plans with God?
Our success cannot be displayed in the accumulation of possessions, titles and accolades. I am not saying any of these things are wrong, because they are truly a blessing, however, we must ensure that we imitate the person of Jesus Christ whose success is seen in the impact He made to people’s lives and communities.
2. Depend on God to provide all I need to fulfil His purpose–God provided manna for the Israelites’ in the wilderness; He also went with them in a cloud by day and fire at night. Our skills, talents and gifts are His blessings; do you applaud yourself for working hard or worship God for His Provision? If you were to lose everything, would you continue to worship and trust in God?
How would I realign my success with His agenda? It would require:
3. Live for God, not for self –Saul was an educated and well-groomed Roman citizen who persecuted the early church. His encountered with God on the road to Damascus changed his life forever and he went on to write a majority of the New Testament books. When we encounter God, our lives are no longer the same and this should be evident in every aspect of our lives.
• Putting my faith in God and allowing His love to overflow in and through my life
Do you love your spouse unconditionally as God loves you and gave him/her as a gift in marriage to you? Are you noticed at work/school for your standard of excellence and integrity because you display the character of God? Do you ask God about the future of your children before you plan it out? If you have you been offered a new job, is it what God wants for you? Our success cannot be displayed in the accumulation of possessions, titles and accolades. I am not saying any of these things are wrong, because they are truly a blessing, however, we must ensure that we imitate the person of Jesus Christ whose success is seen in
• Spending time talking and listening to God • Intentionally getting to know God through His word • Being around like-minded Christians for encouragement and motivation
• Following the example of Jesus and being an example myself • Being expectant to receive, without limitation • Never giving up what I want MOST for what I want now, because I know God has a plan. When we change our mindsets, change our cultures and influence those around us for God, we are partnering with Heaven and bringing His kingdom here on earth and that is the destination of our success. Remember that only transformed people can transform lives, communities and nations. Do you truly recognise Christ in YOUR SUCCESS? As you set goals for your career, health, finances, business and/or family life, what is the focus of those goals, where do you place God? We will all have to give account, recognise where you are heading with your success, is it with God?
Michelle Omo-Olaye is the blessed mother of 3 amazing children. She has survived various challenges in life and uses her lessons to inspire and equip others to live a purposeful life. With over 10 years’ experience as a Business Development Consultant, she offers business, marketing and administrative services to ministries, businesses and individuals to help them achieve results and impact lives. True Potential Services, her Coaching programme for new startups and Event Administration Service will be launched in October 2016. She has a casual blog called At the Kings Table, runs a Facebook group called Ocean Wide (an online book club) and is one of the founders of a weekly prayer line called Sisters Pray Now. You can check her out on Facebook or by email toadmin@truepotentialservices.com or admin@atthekingstable.org
www.wewmagazine.com
35
“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the works of His hands.� Psalm 19:1
www.wewmagazine.com
36
HER
Spiritual Etiquette
www.wewmagazine.com
37
The Power of a Praying Wife Shaniece Liggins
leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. "God designed the unity of marriage to be the foundation upon which to build his kingdom Since the first marriage between Adam and Eve, marriages have come under heavy attack by the enemy of our souls. His crafty snares have subjected God-ordained marriages to trials and tribulations in order to disrupt the building of God’s Kingdom. His tactics have become so common and successful; many Godly marriages have ended prematurely. As wives, our best defense to protect our marriages from the enemy and his tactics is PRAYER! Prayer is our communication line with God. God’s will for us, is to pray continually, (1 Thessalonians 5:17). When we pray, we offer up worship, praise, and let our requests be made known. There is great power in prayer because we are inviting the power of God to reign in our lives and unselfishly submit all control to God. Covering your husband and marriage in daily prayer is one of the best things you can do to protect and strengthen your marriage as a wife. In these extraordinary times, it appears that everything that God has ordained in this world is being challenged, especially the marriage covenant. Divorce rates across the globe are at all-time highs, families are breaking up and the family unit is being re-designed by man. The world has made walking away from the marriage covenant fast and convenient like fast food but this was never God’s intention. Genesis 2:24 (KJV) says, “Therefore shall a man
Most issues within a marriage are created by our enemy and allowed by God. There is great power in a Godly marriage and God is able to do exceeding, abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20 KJV) and the enemy fears that power being invoked and attempts to break up the union. God allows these trials to enter into a marriage to test our faith and help mold us to be more Christ-like. God wants us to humbly seek Him through trials and stay connected to Him (John 15:4-7). If a husband is mistreating his wife, God is not hearing or answering his prayers, his
www.wewmagazine.com
38
HER SPITITUAL ETIQUETTE
prayers are hindered (1Peter 3:7, Malachi 2:1314). God honors marriage and a believing wife brings holiness to her marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15). If a wife comes to God in prayer, with a pure and forgiving heart, in obedience to the word of God as described in Colossians 3:18 and Titus 2:3-5 and with the desire to stand in the gap for her marriage, God will honor the prayers of an obedient wife (Ephesians 5:22-24). It is the prayers of a wife that have a greater effect on a husband than anyone else. Wives, you must pray for your husbands. When there are issues in the marriage, they are more directed at the wife than the husband. The husband may be used but the enemy is really targeting the faith of the wife. If the wife will lose her desire to stand and fight for her husband and marriage, the enemy has a greater chance of causing destruction. Praying for your own strength to resist the devil’s schemes is important. Wife, know you were chosen (John 5:14) to be a helpmate. Your assignment is to help your husband become the Godly man God called him to be. Your husband receives favor from the Lord because he found you as his wife (Proverbs 18:22).
Your husband receives favor from the Lord because he found you as his wife (Proverbs 18:22). for all things. As we boldly approach the throne of God (Hebrews 4:16), expecting our prayers to be answered, not because we are good or deserving but because our God is, we must be mindful of what we pray for and willing to accept the consequences of such prayers. Our prayers will be answered according to God’s Will but they may not always be answered in the manner we expect them to. My fellow wives, be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9) as we stand for our marriages, the time is now. It is a battle we cannot let the enemy win. Stand on the word of God and His promises, no matter what the situations look like. God promises in Romans 8:28, to make ALL things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them; stand on this promise, God hears your prayers.
Your husband was chosen for you, to help you become the woman of God you were called to be. Through your marriage, you have saved each other (1 Corinthians 7:16 NLT). United, there is greater power in your prayers. Where two or more are gathered, Jesus is in their midst (Matthew 18:20). In Luke 10:19, we were given authority to “overcome all the power of the enemy”. As Kingdom women, we have to execute the authority given to us to keep the enemy from devouring what God has brought together (Mark 10:9). The survival of the marriage rests heavily on the wife. It is through our prayers that we can destroy the enemy’s plans for our lives and stand on the promises of God. As difficult as marriage is, it is also the most rewarding when God is kept in the midst and the Kingdom couple is able to walk into their purpose. A three-corded strand is not easilybroken (Ecclesiastes 4:12) and we must stay connected, through prayer, to God as our source
Shaniece Liggins, the Administrator and Vessel used to start Real Wives Pray (www.realwivespray.com), located right outside the Atlanta, GA area. I am a daughter of the Most High God, wife and mother of 5 children - 3 girls and 2 boys. I was saved in 2011 and my marriage has been the most difficult thing I have ever encountered in life, before and after being saved. It is far from what I ever thought marriage would be but probably the best thing that could have happened to me spiritually. God is using this marriage to mold me into the Woman of God He wants me to be and, through all the heartache and pain, I am grateful for it all - the good, the bad and the ugly. And it has been very ugly. Through my marital trials I have truly learned about God and now understand why His ways are far greater than anything we could ever imagine. It has pushed me to pray more, fast more and seek God earnestly in all things AND everything. He has kept me and here I stand. www.realwivespray.com Article image: Ministry Best Practices URL: http://www.ministrybestpractices.com/2014_04_01_archive.html Licence: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/
www.wewmagazine.com
39
The Relevance of Spiritual Midwives in the Kingdom Cheryl AKA Chez Iriajen
Spiritual Midwives, are clearly *documented throughout the early scriptures. They are integral to facilitating the bringing forth of the Father’s Kingdom agendas, His Blueprints: His Kingdom Babies, IN partnership with Him. The Spiritual Midwife’s role is one of Partnership IN Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit. (For the purposes of this article the use of God/Father is indicative of the Godhead). This article’s aim is to shed some insight into the underpinnings of the above article title. Focus will therefore be placed on the contextual working function of Spiritual Midwives and the relevance to the Kingdom. In so doing, this article will importantly include Spiritual Midwives (SM) the:
1.
Roles & responsibilities
2.
Call, Gift and Office
3.
Necessity of intimacy with the Godhead.
Before I start, it is important that we look at what the word of God says about Midwives. The scripture which illuminates both the role(s) & responsibilities and function in relation to “The Relevance of Spiritual Midwives, in the Kingdom” is:*15 Then Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, gave this order to the Hebrew midwives, Shiphrah and Puah: 16“When you help the Hebrew women as they give birth, watch as they deliver. If the baby is a boy, kill him; if it is a girl, let her live.” 17But because the midwives feared God, they refused to obey the king’s orders. They allowed the boys to live, too. 18. So the king of Egypt called for the midwives. “Why have you done this?” he demanded. “Why have you allowed the boys to live?” 19. “The Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women,” the midwives replied. “They are more vigorous and have their babies so quickly that we cannot get there in time.”
4.
Function - Partnering with God:
•
Conveying the Heartbeat of God
•
Facilitating Heaven’s realities to impact and transform Earth’s Realties. Namely, to ‘see’ the manifestation and Blueprints, of Heaven on Earth
5.
Kingdom Benefits
20 So God was good to the midwives, and the Israelites continued to multiply, growing more and more powerful. 21 And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families of their own. 22. Then Pharaoh gave this order to all his people: “Throw every newborn Hebrew boy into the Nile River. But you may let the girls live.” Exodus 1: 15 – 22, NLT
www.wewmagazine.com
40
HER SPITITUAL ETIQUETTE
It is apparent, according to the above scripture (and whilst remains, a biological and reproductive reality), that a male child represents the seed of a family lineage, namely the male has the (potential) ability to produce offspring through the process of Spermatogenesis. By contrast, and in the absence of the process of Spermatogenesis, entire bloodlines are at risk of ceasing. This was the exact thinking and underpinnings of Pharaoh’s (failed) attempts to wipe out a whole population of baby boys.
Based on what we have covered so far, it is reasonable to state: Spiritual midwives go through a process of robust training to obtain the necessary muscles to facilitate Heaven’s agenda and to have purposeful relevance in the kingdom. I have certainly experienced my ‘knees’ literally buckle at the thought and reality of a certain Birth Room assignment. Praise God that in weakness He is our strength; and He develops our spiritual muscles with each assignment Ephesians 3:14-21(NLT).
Praise God in that God, being God, already placed and instructed His spiritual midwives. It is important that we note: ‘If the seed can be wiped out’ the potential consequence is that the baby, mother, father, in fact, whole family units, communities and generations, can be wiped out. The relevance of Spiritual Midwives in the Kingdom is clearly demonstrated through the above scripture. It highlights and gives a working example of the necessity, and required intentionality, for Spiritual Midwives in partnering with God. The scripture showcases how Kingdom babies, (literally) are born, safeguarded and nurtured, when Spiritual Midwives adhere to and carry out their Kingdom roles & responsibilities.
The Kingdom reality is the Bride of Christ; the Sons of God are salt and light on the earth (Mathew 5:13). Further cementing this view is the truth that it only takes a glimpse into earthly and spiritual terrains to ascertain that Heaven’s and earth’s realities are not ‘globally’ synchronised. Hence, key to the relevance (and function) of Spiritual midwives is the answer to the call, the obedience to the training which is governed by and in the intimate partnering with the God. That being said, we all have a responsibility to seek the Heart of the father and embrace and facilitate His heartbeat; His Kingdom agenda (Psalms 24:7 -10). Sons of God, rise up! All creation awaits the rising up of the sons of God (Romans 8:19-22 NLT).
The required characteristics, inclusive of the embedded roles and responsibilities, of spiritual midwives require them to:
Ultimately, the process of birth and bringing forth kingdom babies is integral to the (‘working’) relevance of Spiritual Midwives in the Kingdom. Their partnering facilitates the son of man’s head to have a resting place on earth, (Matthew 8:20). This in essence is the contribution and facilitation of Heaven’s realities to become Earth’s realities!
• Recognise and hear the Father’s Heartbeat. More so, their recognition of a heart beat is in fact the Fathers heart beat. They must be in a constant positioning and posture of intimacy with the Father…. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me” (John 10: 27, New Living Translation). •
Recognise Kingdom wombs.
•
Partner with Father Intentionally.
•
Recognise Kingdom Birth Rooms.
Chez, is a sought-after speaker; with a specific talent and insight into value based leadership (VBL). Her presentation style is one of an engaging dialogue which results in an empowering reflective exchange; extending beyond the walls and ‘limitations’ of her sessions/presentations. This has enabled strategic positive outcomes for both individuals and organisations - staff, clients and communities (‘within’), further, confirming Chez’s belief in the power and necessity of human exchange and connection(s). . She is the Visionary and Founder of Hummingbirds Sings Ministry, which comprises various ministry integrated pathways, including their recent ministerial event: ‘The Birth Room’.
• Facilitate and so, inclusively, safeguard Kingdom processes of Birth. Spiritual Midwives need to be in a posture of abiding, in habitation and not visitation, with the Lord. Spiritual Midwives must intentionally practise! These are prerequisites for being able to partner with Father and to see through His lenses. Then, together they are able to safeguard Kingdom birth processes and Birth Rooms.
For more information on the ‘call, gifts and offices’ of Cheryl Iriajen, Saving Mothers Lives, Midwife On call: please connect with her ministry on their website: www.hummingbirdssing.com or social media such as twitter, or instagram, where she can be found under her personal name or ministry name Hummingbirds sings.
www.wewmagazine.com
41
HER SPITITUAL ETIQUETTE
The New Paradigm Shift Coming to the Body of Christ Prophet Dexton Davis How would you describe a paradigm shift? A paradigm is a standard, perspective or set of ideas. A paradigm is a way of looking at something. A paradigm is a new way of looking or thinking about something. This word comes up a lot in the academic, scientific and business worlds. There is coming in this next shift and move of the Holy spirit in the Body of Christ a new way in which the Lord will orchestrate and deliberate how His church operates. It is within the context of the five-fold ministry gifts given to the church, Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors, Teachers (Ephesians 4:11), that this new paradigm will fully emerge. These gifts are commonly referred to as the Ascension gifts; these are the gifts that Jesus rose with after His resurrection, giving gifts to men (Ephesians 4: 8). The church, body of Christ, currently operates with the Pastor, Evangelist, and the Teacher, deacons although not part of the Five-fold ministry gifts. This has been the directive bywhich we have modelled the church to date. However, this has only been three of the fivefold ministry gifts. One would ask the question, why would the Lord allow the church to function in this way for so long when we have two other gifts - the Apostle and Prophets? Good question. The example I would use I here
is when the law was given to Moses, as a school master it was not the redemptive plan but a way to lead us into the new covenant in Christ. For the law was given by Moses but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. No man hath seen God at any man’s form his sins, it was a type and a shadow of what Jesus would ultimately do of us (John 1:6). As we examine the Apostle Paul's outline of the Five-fold gifts to the church, let us look at the inclusion of the Apostle and the prophets. He clearly states that the gifts are given for the perfecting of the saints, the work of the ministry and the edification of the body of Christ, till we all come into the unity of the Faith and the knowledge of the Son of God - unto a perfect man and the measure of the fullness of Christ (Ephesians 4:11, 12, 13). It is indeed imperative that we understand the very important role of the Apostle and the prophets. In fact, it is these two gifts that Paul stated are built on the foundation of the Apostle and the Prophets, Christ himself being the chief cornerstone (Ephesians 2:20). I will discuss this later in this article.
www.wewmagazine.com
42
HER SPITITUAL ETIQUETTE
I will like to compare the five-fold ministry to a five-cylinder car engine, if only three of those cylinders are working then it means that the car will not operate to its fullest and optimum potential and power. Thus, as it will be using more fuel, the car runs the serious risk of breaking down. However, with all five cylinders in full working order, the car will perform to its optimum capacity. The five-fold ministry gifts are the same to the church but powered, led, and directed by the Holy Spirit. Scripture states “howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.”(John 16:13) Scripture further states “For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.” (1 Corinthians 13:9) In other words, as we move ever nearer to the imminent coming of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit will lead the church into accelerated truth and interpretation of God’s word. The Holy spirit is the one that brings to us new revelation and understanding of the word of God. I further believe the five-fold will bring about a unity of Believers in Christ as we have never seen before in the life and history of the Church. Indeed, that's what the Apostle Paul stated would happen “until we all come into the unity of the faith and knowledge of the son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the Stature of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:13)
embrace it. This is borne out of the fear of the unknown. One thing that I would like to caution us about is for us not to be quick to criticise these changes, they are an absolute imperative in this hour of church history today. Remember Jesus’ words to Peter when he came into the coast of Caesaria Phillpi: “Upon this rock, I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” The context here is the building of His church. Christ Jesus is the architect of His church but He invites us to be labourers with him to build His church (Mathew 16:13 -18). Let's look at the: (Apostle): The word apostle means “one who is sent out.” In the New Testament, there are two primary usages of the word apostle. The first is specifically referring to the twelve apostles of Jesus Christ. The second is generically referring to other individuals who are sent out to be messengers/ambassadors of Jesus Christ, to establish and set up churches. This is indeed what happened on the day of Pentecost. (The Prophet): Who is a Prophet? In one word, a prophet is one chosen by God, before conception in the womb, to be His mouthpiece to bring direction and correction to the body of Christ (Jeremiah 1, Amos 3:7) Surely the Lord God does nothing before He first speaks to His servants the Prophets. If these are the foundational ministry gifts to the church, then it means that we must pay special attention to their function and operation in the church today. It is not to be excluded in local churches or the wider body of Christ but be fully included alongside the Pastor, Evangelist and Teacher. There is yet more to this paradigm shift that we will explore at a future date.
It is our mind-set that will need to be changed from how we used to see and do things, to this new paradigm of thinking and our way of doing church radically needs to change (Romans 12:12). Our way of thinking means that an understanding of God’s word The Lord is now ready in this ever-changing world environment to get His church fully-powered and operational, based on the model of the five-fold ministry gifts, converging in unity to bring about a permanent and lasting synergy to the body of Christ. Unfortunately, we are not very good at embracing change in the body of Christ and when change does come we find it hard to
www.wewmagazine.com
Prophet Dexton Davis has served in various ministerial capacities within the Church of God of Prophecy such as Sunday school teacher, music director, regional evangelist, and assistant pastor. In addition to this he subsequently went on to Pastor a church in Leicester for four years. It was during this time that his prophetic ministry developed. His office as a Prophet was later confirmed whilst serving as a minister at Life International Christian Fellowship, Milton Keynes (LICF) where he was also ordained as a Prophet in November 2004. Pastor Dexton has a drive and a passion of leading believers and non-believers into understanding the end times.
43
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him� John 3:17
www.wewmagazine.com
44
EMPOWERING THEYounger
Woman
www.wewmagazine.com
45
EMPOWERING THE YOUNGER WOMAN
Insecurities Low Self Esteem Lauren Lamont
www.wewmagazine.com
46
EMPOWERING THE YOUNGER WOMAN
Did you know that more than 90% of girls aged 15-17 want to change one aspect of their physical appearance? Did you know that nearly a quarter of girls aged 15-17 would consider undergoing plastic surgery? Did you know that 13% of girls aged 15-17 acknowledge having an eating disorder? Did you know that 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships? And finally, did you know that young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents? All of these statistics are very surprising to know, right? I’m sure as you were reading this you either gasped, your eyes widened or you immediately felt sad. The truth is – it is sad to know that so many young women are suffering from low self-esteem and they are having a very hard time dealing with it. Upon learning about insecurities in-depth and understanding the societal challenges that young women face, I wanted to know how I could be of help to overcome insecurities. How could I possibly help combat this massive obstacle that forever stands in the way of a young woman’s potential to succeed in life? What is it I need to do? As I was pondering on these questions, I realized that there is one thing I can do and that is to write.
Writing has always been my passion because not only do I find it therapeutic, it also liberates me to express myself and be completely honest without limits. I have decided to use this as the solution to conquer this ongoing problem, by showing how you can overcome your insecurities because you deserve to be free and live your dreams with confidence. So let’s begin… Why do we suffer from insecurity? What causes insecurity? Why does it have such an impact on us that we just cannot shift them? How can we overcome our insecurity?
In the Chambers dictionary, I found two definitions of insecurity which are: “anxious because not well adjusted to life; uncertain”. Chambers dictionary also defines self-esteem to mean “good opinion of oneself; self-respect”
What are the ways in which we suffer from insecurity or low self-esteem? Could it be that you were bullied in the past? Could it be that you were always unhappy with how you look, which meant comparing yourself to others?
Could it be that your family or partner caused you to become severely insecure because they abused you physically, verbally or emotionally? Insecurity presents itself in many ways: physically, mentally, emotionally and so forth. How do you know when someone is insecure? It’s when we see them behave in a certain way that immediately suggests that they are insecure or have low self-esteem. Our self-esteem is driven by appearance - do we consider ourselves too short? Too tall? Overweight? Or even, too thin? I want to tell you a story of my experience of suffering from this issue. I have suffered from insecurity/low self-esteem almost all my life. This will be a shock to anyone who is associated with me because they have believed that I have always been very confident, outspoken and happy with my self. Unfortunately, that was just a show because deep down, I felt worthless, I felt like I had no future, I felt like I wasn’t beautiful enough or good enough to do anything that I wanted to do; I was insecure about my physical appearance and even my well-being.
And finally, did you know that young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents? I had always put a limit on myself, which caused me to miss out on so many opportunities and that was because I didn’t believe I was cut out for the job. I knew I had a calling on my life to be a leader among young women but I just didn’t believe I was the right person for that assignment because I was insecure, I had low self-esteem and the root of that was FEAR!
www.wewmagazine.com
47
EMPOWERING THE YOUNGER WOMAN
My story reminds me of Moses who is arguably one of the greatest Old Testament figures, perhaps the most influential person from the nation of Israel, however he was also a tremendously insecure person. In Exodus 3, God gives Moses an assignment to deliver the Hebrew slaves from the Egyptians. God appears to Moses in a burning bush that was never consumed; He gave Moses clear instructions to help His enslaved people be free from the evil taskmasters. This was a massive responsibility and God believed Moses was the perfect person to do the job– much to his despair . As mentioned earlier, Moses was incredibly insecure. Moses had so many excuses to suggest that he was NOT good enough for this assignment and it required someone who was more qualified, more confident and eloquent. Here are some of Moses’ excuses: 1. “And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The Lord hath not appeared unto thee” (Exodus 4:1) In response to Moses’ worry in Exodus 4:2-9, God showed Moses reassuring signs for when he confronts Pharaoh he will believe that it is indeed God who had sent Moses to let His people go and he will hearken unto his voice. God promised to have Moses’ back at all times. 2. “And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue” (Exodus 4:10).
Whatever assignment God gives you, no matter how demanding it may be, God’s promise is that He will be with you – he will always have your back like He did Moses. Here is my declaration to you: I want you to know that you can BEAT your insecurity! You can overcome your insecurity! You do not have to be a slave to your insecurity! Insecurity is a type of fear which is detrimental to your destiny and your overall being! I know this because I was insecure and it hindered my future. Don’t allow your insecurities to hinder your destiny because you are so much more of what your “fear” tells you. You are gifted, you are beautiful, you are powerful, you are blessed and you have a calling, a purpose, a passion and dreams to fulfill!
God replied to Moses saying: “Who hath made man’s mouth? Or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Have not I the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say” (Exodus 4:11-12).
God has chosen you to do great things in this world because we need to see and hear from you. If you do not tell your insecurities to flee you will forever be a slave to it and you will NEVER reach your destination.
God is so gracious, patient and understanding. He already knew Moses’ shortcomings, insecurities/low self-esteem but He looked past them because He could see Moses’ potential – He believed in Moses. God doesn’t care about your qualifications or non-qualifications, your experience or inexperience or even competence or incompetence because He created and he created YOU for a purpose!
I challenge you to challenge your insecurity! I challenge you that from today you will start to make changes; you will starve your insecurities to death until it no longer has a hold on you. I really believe you have the capability to do this BUT do not do it without God on your side. If you pray to God about your insecurities and selfesteem coupled with your desire to make a change in your life – IT WILL HAPPEN!
www.wewmagazine.com
48
EMPOWERING THE YOUNGER WOMAN
I felt strongly to talk about this societal issue because I don’t believe the church deals with these things. There are SO many people who come to church suffering severely with insecurity/low self-esteem and no one bats an eyelid! The reason for that is because those people come to church looking the part, their make-up is on fleek and their attire is on point – but that is just a mere replica of someone who is genuinely confident, happy and has high selfesteem. I really believe the church needs to do something to help our young women because it’s deterring them from coming to church as they feel like no one cares. Someone from the church just simply needs to be available to speak to that person, ask them how they’re doing, make conversation with them, talk about their problems, pray for and work with them because they really do need someone to be there for them. If you are reading this and you have insecurities and suffer from low self-esteem – I am your ambassador. I am speaking on your behalf because I need you to overcome this, for there is so much more to life, and I know you believe that you deserve much more, but your insecurity is holding you back. The fact that you already realize this is a perfect starting point!
...you are special, you are powerful, you are beautiful and God has so many plans for you.
My prayer for you is for you to be encouraged, inspired and motivated to overcome your insecurities/low self-esteem because it is the only thing holding you back from reaching your destiny. You don’t have to be part of the statistics because you are special, you are powerful, you are beautiful and God has so many plans for you. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
Image: /
Lauren Lamont is building her profile as motivational speaker, writer and aspiring life coach who has a passion for empowering the lives of young women. She has always believed that God has called her for a specific purpose to minister to young women and empower them with the spoken word along with her heartfelt, honest and encouraging articles that she writes from her own personal experiences. She is now furthering her brand to become a qualified life coach so she can help young women become the best version of them no matter what life events they encounter. Lauren Lamont wants to be known for her honesty, her realness. She also wants to be a winner for the hearts of young women.
www.wewmagazine.com
49
Are Our Families
Worth Fighting For? Jenifa Mdegela
One of the most common attacks in the 21st century is in our homes. The devil knows that God made marriage so beautiful. Marriage is the image of Christ and the church. Marriage and family were both created by God for our benefit. Both are a foundation of a strong society; growing churches and future generations. The devil understands the value of family and that is why he is on a mission to separate families. He knows that by successfully attacking families he is able to destroy what is most precious to God. Right from the beginning, after God had finished creating Adam and Eve, the two got united before God. God was so pleased with what he saw and he called it ‘very good’. He then said, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife; and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
There is a level of commitment that God requires from married couples in order for them to achieve a strong foundation for the family. This means that the couple must separate themselves from others and be fully committed to their marriage. Strong marriages are foundations of good families. When marriages are affected, this has devastating effects on the rest of the family. It is time to stop the enemy of our homes and fight for our families. If we take time to understand how God designed our families we will be able to recognise when the devil tries to attack and stop him. We can only stop satan from destroying our families by using weapons found in the word of God. An amazing scripture that encourages us to fight for our families is Nehemiah 4:13-20. “13 Therefore I positioned
www.wewmagazine.com
50
EMPOWERING THE YOUNGER WOMAN
men behind the lower parts of the wall, at the openings; and I set the people according to their families, with their swords, their spears, and their bows. 14: And I looked, and arose and said to the nobles, to the leaders, and to the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses”. 20Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally to us there. Our God will fight for us". If we fight for our families, God will fight for us.
Every family is dysfunctional in its own way. Whenever you notice that satan is attacking your family, here are a few things you could do:-
1) Seek for God’s help and submit to Him Whatever situation we find ourselves in, it is very important that we seek help from God just like Nehemiah did in chapter 4 he prayed twice before he launched out and before proceeding.
4) Reclaiming your family I guess the question we must ask ourselves is: is our family worth fighting for? As families we need to stop fighting one another and fight instead for one another. Let us not give up or quit on one another, we should focus instead on building trust. Whenever I think of family, I think of a place of unconditional love. The kind of love that casts away our fears, fills us with boldness, is everforgiving and far-reaching. This type of love is known as ‘Agape’. ‘Agape’ is the immeasurable love of God towards us, it is love in its highest form. It is loving someone whether they deserve it or not, with absolutely no strings attached. It is choosing to love someone even when you know there is nothing in it for you; when you know the response is bad you still choose to love them. This is the love that we need to pour out in our homes, relationships and towards one another. I have come to realise that no family is perfect.
2) Gather your family
Every family is dysfunctional in its own way.
When families are united there is a strong bond of love and protection.
But regardless of whether our family has hurt us or not, we must always give love. As we pour out ‘Agape’ love, God pours His love upon us.
3) Remember He is God As your family is going through the struggles, to the point you feel like giving up on that marriage or family, you may become so fed up with it all that you end up looking for a place to lay your head. Remember that the Bible tells us that “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Our ultimate victory depends on God. We must learn to sit back and know that he is God, that there is nothing that he cannot do.
Our children, parents or spouses do not have to earn our love. We must choose to love them whether they are right or wrong, straight or gay, rich or poor, crazy or sane or even in prison cells. ‘Agape’ love is the fruit of the Holy Spirit; it should also be the basis of our relationships. It is only God who gives us the grace to stand in difficult times, so let us learn to be still and let God fight our battles.
Jenifa Mdegela is a Biomedical Scientist and aspiring Author. She is passionate about empowering others and families. She is currently a mentee on the Leadership Mentoring for Purpose Programme, Empowered Woman The Mentoring Academy
www.wewmagazine.com
51
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
www.wewmagazine.com
52
