JAYE November 2011 by JAYE magazine

26 ideas to defeat stress

jaye because college is more than the classroom

183 Ways to Stand Out From the Crowd >> On-Trend Fashion Finds >> Hair Tips from Kim Kardashian’s Colorist >> 30+ Perfect Coats for Every Style

you’ll need a partner for one of them!

november 2011

Taliah Ferguson

The On-the-Rise Blogger on Shopping, Chasing Dreams and What Inspires Her Advice From Three Business Owners on How to Build a Thriving Company

Eat More, GainA Guide Less! to

Sidestepping those Extra PostThanksgiving Pounds

jaye special report

men explain the move we hate and why they do it

The Industry That’s Eroding the Worth of College Degrees

What’s Inside jaye

november 2011 volume 2, issue 1

features 86 cover story: who’s that lady By Michael Jones With her mix of modern must-haves and one-of-a-kind vintage finds, style blogger Taliah Ferguson’s keeps her readers craving for more. 92 The New Deal The politicians in Washington may not be getting much done, but our fashion team’s got a style agenda sure to cross party lines—influenced by the superchic resort collections. 100 JAYE Special Report: A Paper Education at Gold Prices By Amanda Montell For-profit colleges provide a quick fix to those after an affordable education, but the industry may be corroding the value of college degrees. 106 The ABCs of Living Stress Free By Jesica Metellus 26 tips to tackling the rest of the year hassle-free. 114 Get Nailed Need-to-know nail-care wisdom from the experts. 116 The Science Behind the Catcall By Arteika Smith and Amanda Montell We get down to the bottom of why men insist on whistling, jeering and taunting to get our attention.

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H&M top, Vintage leather skirt and clutch, Pour la Victorie shoes, Michael Kors watch, Make Up Forever Rouge Artist Intense 40 lipstick

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What’s Inside november 2011 volume 2, issue 1

jaye

Ahead Guru; Money Monitor

119

79 Digest: The Stories of Girls Just Like You The Real Deal: Caught in a Bad Romance; Lessons & Confessions: Inspiration From Within; What College Taught Me: Songs in A Minor 120 Relax!: Lifestyle Made Easy JAYE at Home: Party-Planning with Oliver Williams

17 Cram!: The Cool Girl’s Cultural Companion The Endorsement: Silent Cry; Pass or Fail; To the Rescue: It’s For the Kids; Briefs: Free Speech Alley, Smokeless Day, Black Friday Prep, Feeling Kinda Blah, Coffee Break!; In the Know: Five Things on Our Minds this Month

The Regulars 6 Memo From Mike 10 Answers: Solutions to Life’s Quandaries 12 Now!: Hot Topic 124 Till We Meet Again: Horoscope

27 Trends: The Look: Fashion Fashion Thesis: Fur-eak Out; Runway to JAYE Way: Metallics, Neutrals, Brights with Black and White; Grays; Finishing Touches: Riding Boots; Financial Aid: Leather; News; 41 Glam: The Look: Beauty Opener: The Final Stretch; Beauty Tutor: Rebecca Friedman; Beauty Diary: Beauty News I’m Thankful For 49 Notebook: See, Buy, Wear! National Security: The JAYE Fall Coat Guide 55 Body: Health + Wellness Health Strategies: 10 Quick Ways to Burn Calories—That Don’t Include the Gym; Fitness File, Wear Yourself Slim; Dinner-Table Decisions; Fitness File, Weight Watcher 61 Love: Sex, Men + Relationships Strength in Numbers; Sex Q&A; Relationship Bulletin, Blurring the Color Lines; 60 Seconds with a Cute Guy: Greg Caldwell 69 Life: Because College is More than the Classroom Girl Talk: Breathe Again, Friend or Foe; Show Me the Money; Get4 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

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Memo From Mike >> Editor’s Letter

Old* Wise Man

always look forward to my dad’s vacations. He leads a pretty busy life, and his time off from work provides us with a chance to catch up and carry on in intense dialogue that leaves me in awe of his seemingly infinite wisdom. The topic at issue during our most recent discussion a few weeks ago was stress and how he manages it. After all, we’re a stressed out nation: The economy’s recovering slower than a story line in one of those low-budget cable movies; the cost of education continues to rise, while our financial resources

fight to keep up; and though as I write this, President Obama just finished an earnest exegesis of his American Jobs Act before a joint session of Congress, relief for the long-term unemployed and college-graduate pool is deterred by partisan bickering and increased cynicism from American citizens. All of the above affects my dad, whether directly or in an oblique fashion, yet he’s always taking life’s challenges in stride. And since I had his undivided attention during the aforementioned father-son heart-to-heart, I got a master class in Stress Management 101 from Professor Michael

Connect with me! Email: jayemagmike@gmail.com Twitter: @mtjstyle Jones, Sr. Here’s the Cliff’s Notes version: Focus on the big picture. “I try to keep things and perspective,” explains my Pops. “More importantly, I try to realize whatever it is I’m going through isn’t the end of the world.” Remember it gets better. Dad says that stress tends to amplify the bad and tempts us to loll about in our sorrow, but “what you’re going through today will be yesterday’s news before you know it and in a few days, weeks, months and years, you probably won’t remember whatever it is that has you anxious.” Control what you can control. You’re not always in charge of the cards that life deals you, but according to my dad, you have a say-so in how you play those cards: “Do and be the very best you can be each and every day and the rest will fall into place.” Locate your center. No matter if it’s family, shopping, reading or volunteering, “you have to find the things in your life that provide you with balance” to offset the stressful events in your life. Don’t let the stresses of life consume

so much of you that you forget you’re in college and preparing to embark on some of the most fulfilling years of your life, suggests my dad. If those nuggets of advice aren’t enough, there’s 26 more on p. 106, impressively packaged by Jesica Metellus, our executive editor, in A-to-Z format. Of course, there’s plenty of fashion to help you repel those stress pangs, and whether you’re looking to escape from the minutiae of those lecture notes with a few irresistible trends (p. 27), shopping for the perfect coat to combat the cold temps (p. 49) or hunting for a few style ideas to help you rework some of your closet staples (p. 92), we’ve got you covered. And since we’re entering the season of giving, why don’t you gift a friend, classmate or coworker a link of the magazine so they can unearth some stressrepelling knowledge? Email or tweet me your rants and raves, and as always have a ball reading this issue!

Michael Jones Editor-in-Chief

Here’s dad and me in 2002. Ah, the memories!

She’s Movin’ on Up! It’s never easy to see one of your colleagues leave, and the same can be said for Brianti Downing, my former deputy editor (AKA right-hand girl), who after a year at JAYE, launches Feather, her very own online magazine. Bree, as we affectionately called her, played an influential role in relaunching JAYE last year and shaping some of the features and columns that you’ve grown to love. When my family and I share what we’re thankful at the dinner table on Turkey Day, the opportunity to work incredible editors—both new and old—will definitely be on my list. On behalf of me and your friends at JAYE, thanks for everything, Bree. Here’s to boundless success at Feather!

6 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

*My dad’s proof things get better with time, as he celebrates his 50th birthday this year. From advice on managing my staff and watching our beloved Cowboys every Sunday to bailing me out when I’ve screwed up and loving me unconditionally, it’s been a blessing to have been around for half of his life. Happy Birthday, Pops!

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jaye editor-in-chief Michael Jones

executive editor Jesica Met Managing Editor Melissa Kimble Fashion Director Alexa DuMity Beauty Director Margaret Francois Deputy Editor, Health Nikki Roberti Executive Articles Editor Chloe Metzger Features Editor Amanda Montell News Editor Ericka Johnson Senior Editor, Sex and Relationships Evette Dionne Senior Editor, Careers and Personal Finance Samantha Nisenson Senior Editor, Health Liyana Abdul Kadir Lifestyle Editor Jill Scherr Culture Editor Brittney Fennell Associate Editor Megan Elliott

Fashion Senior Fashion Editor Kydee Williams Fashion Features Editor Sophie Fredericksen Fashion Market Editor Lauren Welger Accessories Editor Alexandra Rosenzweig Beauty

Senior Beauty Editor Jillian Ruffo

Copy

Copy Editor Theresa Sutton

Administration

Executive Assistant to the Editor-in-Chief Andreana Thomas

visit our website for trends, updates, news and blog posts: jayemagazine.com speak your mind! Send a letter to the editor: jayespeakyourmind@gmail.com follow us at twitter: @JAYEmagazine like us on facebook: JAYE magazine

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Sarah Jessica Parker at a press event in August wearing a Prabal Gurung sheath dress.

Answers >> Solutions to Life’s Quandaries For Thanksgiving this year, my boyfriend’s family invited me to join the feast, but I have never met them. How can I make a good first impression? Every family is different, but there are a few rules that a new girlfriend should abide by. You don’t want to be so done-up that the turkey is taking a backseat to your glitz. Our fashion team put together a look inspired by Sarah Jessica Parker to get you started. Remember to call your man’s parents by the proper Mr. and Mrs. Last Name until they tell you otherwise. Going old school is the best way to win them over. And finally—just relax! Being yourself is key to acceptance. I have a hard time getting along with my mom when I go home for the holidays. What can I do to make her realize that I am an adult? It always takes parents a little longer to realize that we’ve grown up, so keep your mother’s intentions in mind when you get frustrated. She wants to get along as much as you do, but doing her job as a parent is more important. So just be honest with her. Acknowledge her success as a parent and tell her that you simply need to be more independent. And if all fails, just remember you’ll only be there for a few weeks, so enjoy her home-cooked food and free laundry while you can! Ever since my roomie let me borrow her shirt, she thinks it's OK to take my clothes without asking. How can I 10 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Mango dress, $77; shop.mango.com. Equipment shirt, $66; theoutnet.com.

You’ll find yourself wearing this under-$100 dress all season long!

Bakers heels, $110; bakersshoes.com. Get the Look! >> Start with a sheath dress. When the silhouette is classic, it’s easy to stay on trend with fresh, graphic prints. >> Throw in a layer. Add a dose of sophistication, opt for a classic button-front shirt under the frock. >> Finish with show-stopping heels. Basic black is fine, but pumps with unexpected details show off your style.

confront her without ruining our friendship? This is a very common problem friends have. The key to avoiding a fight is to talk to her about it at a neutral time. While she’s watching television or making dinner, ask her if she’s seen your favorite black skirt (that you know she borrowed this morning). Let her know that you don’t mind if she borrows your clothes every so often, but please ask first so something like this doesn’t happen again. If she’s confrontational, don’t fight back, just realize that in the future, you’re clothes may need to be off-limits to her moving forward. My boyfriend spends money in the most frivolous ways

then complains he's poor. How can I encourage him to be more responsible and avoid sounding controlling? If you two are serious and you really see a future with him, then it’s important to sit down and talk with him. Mention certain items that he’s draining his money on and list some cheaper alternatives. Point out that if you two do end up together for the long-term, it’d be healthier to make a change now than later. He’ll see that you really do have his best interest in mind and will help him see the bigger picture. Come from a place of love, and he’ll be receptive to the advice you have. But remember, you can’t make him do something he’s not willing to—all you can do is provide him with the

advice to help him manage his finances more effectively. My professor is a jokester, but seems to be flirtier with me than with anyone else. It makes me uncomfortable, but not enough to report him. What should I do? This is definitely inappropriate, but there is something you can do. If you don’t want to get him in trouble and are too scared to confront him, change the way in which you respond to his attention. Start sitting further away from his desk, stop laughing at his jokes and keep a journal of each inappropriate advance. If he doesn’t get the picture and continues to make you feel uncomfortable despite your behavioral changes, you need to report him.

>> Have a question? We’ve got an answer! Email us at jayespeakyourmind@gmail.com.

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{Now!} Hot Topic

Bitch? Please! >>

You’d think we’d be past double standards in the workplace, but we’re not. And it may be because the age-old gender stereotypes are being perpetuated on campuses, in movies and on the small screen. But as Jesica Met reports, there’s nothing wrong with asserting yourself and pursuing your ambitions  For decades, a woman’s place was that of a caregiver and housewife—anything beyond subservience was out of their jurisdiction. Soon, women grew tired of playing the backdrop of society and fought for America to view them as equals. With the quiet revolution and the wave of the feminist movements, women slowly but surely made their way into the workforce. Some may feel that this is it. Women have access to the same education opportunities and the ability to apply for the same positions in the workplace

12 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

as their male counterparts. Finally, women have won— we’re equals now. Wrong! Although women and men are increasingly sharing similar job titles, their roles in the workplace are anything but equal. The double standard that applies to men and women is still prevalent, especially in the office. When women joined the business world, they felt empowered, but that power gradually diminishes as women remain at the receiving end of harsh judgments and unfairness. You know her, and for the

most part, you hate her: The brash, professor who makes it a point to get in your face and demand quality and respect. Just the same, you know him, the motivated and resultsdriven professor who knows what he wants and brings out the best in you. You know them both however you fail to realize that their teaching styles are one in the same. The only difference between the two professors is their gender. Being strict and demanding is a male-only luxury and women are meant to remain in their submissive roles, saying little and taking little space. In communications, you learn that men and women connect in very different ways, not just verbally but physically. Take sitting down in a meeting for example, often you’ll notice men spread their legs wide and sit up straight with their broad shoulders because it is in their nature to take up space— they’re men. Women, on the other hand, usually sit with their legs crossed, their hands together, and hair pulled back because it is in their nature to take up less space. The moment either decides to communicate any differently, we pounce. Although society claims to have moved past gender inequalities, the subconscious criticisms are still apparent. The Taboo Word The word is harsh yet repeated often. It’s hard for women to find a healthy balance between exuding authority while maintaining control in the workplace. A powerful woman with ambi-

tion to be the best at her role is nothing more than a hotheaded woman who needs to learn her place. So, where does that leave you? You’ve graduated top of your class, and worked hard to do it. When you finally landed the professional job of your dreams, you realize that it involves quite a bit of supervisory skills and delegating. By not allowing the opportunity intimidate you, you rise to the challenge and strive to motivate and push your subordinates to be the best of their abilities while refusing to settle for mediocrity from them. You break records and exceed expectations and business couldn’t be better. Eventually, you discover that your co-workers have been rallying against you. Instead of the respect of your talent and credibility, the workplace undermines your authority by portraying you as the taboo word of the office. Never mind the fact that your male counterpart can be just as tough as you can, you are still singled out as the bad guy. When did being assertive and competent in your field make you taboo? In your mind, you were being assertive and demanding while your peers felt as if they were being attacked and patronized. While the quality results are there, if you produced sub par work, you would have been thanked but passed over in the future. Hence, it’s difficult for your hard work to actually work for you. Although many refuse to recognize it, there is a double standard prevalent in the workplace that weakens the position of power in >>

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{Now!} Hot Topic women. However, what’s unsettling is that both men and women are guilty of it. Often times, the act is subconscious. When a woman of authority is hard on you, you take immediate offense. However, when a man is just as hard, you view it as him utilizing his right to be authoritative. Confident women are arrogant, disciplined women are overbearing, assertive women are taboo, while passive women are adored. It’s unfortunate that women in a professional setting have to choose between being powerful and disrespected or passive and undervalued. When women choose to be meek and humble, they may be liked but eventually their progress reaches a ceiling. People in high places have to make tough decisions, and if a woman can’t prove that she’d be willing to stand up to the plate and command respect her worth will always be passed aside. Hence, it is obvious why women take the route

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of the former and cope with the disrespectful treatment of their peers in an effort to move forward in their careers. Women in Film Movies belittle and discredit women’s authority by placing them in strong roles in the beginning of the film to be brought down or normalized by men toward the end. This sends the message that women are happiest only when a man’s penis can make them right again. For example, in the film Deliver us from Eva, Gabrielle Union’s character Eva (above left) is a strong, opinionated woman

career when you have a man around? The moral of the story is, “forget success, all you need a man.” We have been so consumed by our double

working, yet too rigid and dull for Ben’s taste who finds Anna’s—with her curly blonde hair—sweet and charming nature irresistible. From the setting up of their

Although many refuse to recognize it, there is a double standard prevalent in the workplace that weakens the position of power in women. who works hard and refuses to settle for less. Eva was a health inspector and prided herself in demanding quality, and eventually, her hard work led to a promotion. The recurring theme in the film was that Eva was loathed. Instead of viewing her as a dilgent overachiever, her work was obscured by everyone else’s one-sided opinions of her. Toward the end of the movie, her “evilness” subsided as a strong, masculine man, LL Cool J’s character, came into her life and gave her the warmth she needed to melt her coldness. With the appearance of a man in her life, the desire to take her promotion and move ahead in her career paled in comparison to her romance. Overall, the film sends an underlying message: Who needs a better

standards that we don’t notice when it stares us in the face. Rarely do you see many movies with a male protagonist whose cruel intentions are calmed by the appearance of a beautiful, voluptuous woman. Another example of taboos in film is the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, Jennifer Connelly’s character Janine who is a strict and powerful woman and successful in her career is married to Ben, Bradley Cooper’s character, who falls for Anna, Scarlett Johansson’s character. Anna is a yoga teaching, aspiring singer whose carefree, easygoing attitude catches the attention of married Ben. Eventually, Ben has an affair after questioning his marriage. Janine— with her bone straight, dark hair—is successful and hard

character plots to the styling of the actors, this reiterates the message that provocation and leniency is preferred to power and strength in women. Although Janine didn’t deserve to be jilted, the audience receives subtle hints as to why Ben betrayed her as he did. Hence, you may feel sorry for Janine, but you almost understand. The film industry’s portrayal of powerful women in the workplace doesn’t make it easy for women to strive to be better. Mediocrity shouldn’t be the default mentality to avoid the whispered criticisms of their peers. Power and influence aren’t characteristics reserved for men alone. The message is clear: women shouldn’t be afraid to work hard and achieve. It’s time to say goodbye to being a bitch. 

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because college is more than the classroom

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Cram! The Cool Girl’s Cultural Companion

Edited by Chloe Metzger

the endorsement

Silent Cry

Sexual assault isn’t your fault, so get your voice heard and protect the women on your campus by ericka johnson

hat have you done in the past 21 hours? Attended class, hung out with

friends, studied for exams, gone to the gym—just a typical day in the life of a college student. But according to the U.S Department of Justice,

every 21 hours at least one student is raped, and it could have occurred on your campus. College years are said to be some of your best, thanks to

gaining your independence and leaving the high-school training wheels behind. For most, college is filled with blissful late nights and new best friends, but for the young women who are victims of sexual assault, these memorable years are stolen and tainted. What’s worse is that these horrors are too often never addressed, leaving women with nowhere to turn. For many young women, it’s the embarrassment, fear of being ridiculed, ignored and pushed aside that cause so many to never seek proper help. Sexual harassment, says the U.S. government, is defined as “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature.” This very loose definition includes anything from inappropriate comments to sexual assault. Actions can take the form of verbal, nonverbal and physical confrontation. Cases arise on any college campus and more commonly involve all young women regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation, or social/economic background. Whether you’re the victim of sexual assault or know someone that is, it’s important to come forward and seek proper counseling and file a report with authorities. Silence will not heal the

NOVEMBER 2011 // JAYE 17

Did You Know?: According to ProjectVote, 18- to 29-year-olds made up 21% of the totally possible voter population in 2008, but only 17% of the population that actually voted.

Cram! >> News pain. Speaking up is effective and will help heighten the security and protect other young women on your campus. While it may be difficult to speak of the incident, your voice will help set preventative actions in motion. So what to do if you find yourself in a possibly dangerous situation? If someone is going beyond your comfort Reduce your chances at sexual assault with these useful tips: >> Be aware of your surroundings, who’s out there and what’s going on.

zone, be direct and tell him or her to stop. Be specific on what is making you uncomfortable and that you will take action if he or she continues. Document these events in a letter or email to support your complaint. Make friends and professors aware of the situation and alert campus security. If your harasser ignores your efforts, file for a restraining

order. According to a Planned Parenthood study, seven out of every ten college women will experience some form of sexual harassment before graduation, but relatively few will report the incident. Don’t become another statistic. Stand up and speak out and be an advocate for those who experience harrassment.

>> Walk with confidence. The more assured you look, the stronger you appear. >> Know your limits when it comes to drinking alcohol. >> Be assertive—don’t let

anyone violate your space. >> Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable in your surroundings, leave. >> In case of car trouble, call for help on your cell phone. If

free speech alley

Resources and Support

For more information on sexual assault or to seek counseling and advice, visit: Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN) (rainn.org); The Rape Crisis Center (rapecrisis.com); American Association of University Women (AAUW) (aauw.org/act/ laf/library/harassment.cfm); National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-HOPE(4673))

you don’t have a phone, put the hood up, lock the doors, and put a banner in the rear mirror that says, “Help. Call police.” Source: WomensHealth.gov.

Ready. Set. Register! The 2012 presidential election is one year away, signifying another four years gone and a new wave of college students ready to hit the polls—and that means you! How can you get involved? It’s simple: contact your student government or class representative to see about events and volunteering. Websites like declareyourself.com also provide state-by-state registration information and rockthevote.com gives the best tips on local elections in your respective state. Stay informed by watching the debates and seeing which candidates represent that direction you think the country should be going in. Get in the know and start the wave on your campus! –EJ

Pass or Fail By Brittney Fennell

Pass: Miss Angola, Leila Lopes (pictured above), was crowned Miss Universe 2011. She becomes the second black woman to hold the title. Fail: Scarlett Johansson becomes the latest celebrity victim to have leaked nude pictures onto the Internet. Pass: The President offers $8 billion in tax cuts to companies that hire workers who have been unemployed for six months or more. Fail: The continual jokes and jeers at Charlie Sheen—give it a rest already! Pass: Researchers at the University of California-Irvine find that using birthcontrol pills cause women to have better memories and situational retention. Fail: The Martin Luther King, Jr., National Memorial upset the public when they unveiled a statue that depicted MLK with an arrogant appearance and a boastful misquote. 18 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

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Cram! >> News

s the holidays grow near, children around the world are reminded of what is lacking in their lives. Many povertystricken families can’t have proper holiday meals or even quality family time. Do your part this season and make a difference in the lives of little ones. JAYE has a variety of ideas for making the most of your holidays by giving the most to others. One thing that most people neglect to donate is their time. The holidays are a time for family, but when a child has an abusive sibling or an absent parent, the holidays are the roughest time of the year. Children need role models and joining a program this month will score you some major karma. Not only will you have the opportunity to change someone’s life just by being you, but volunteering gives you an even better feeling than the one you get when a relative opens the perfect gift you got her. Look into volunteering at your local YMCA or Big Brother Big Sister program. If

you’re not sure what your area has to offer, take a quick trip to an elementary school near you. Teachers and counselors are always looking for volunteers. Another special way you

tion programs concentrate on quantity instead of quality, so by making something yourself, you can make sure that already malnourished families aren’t eating a bunch of processed

Finally, if you’ve got the time to spare, creating your own program is a great way to make a big difference by donating your time. This can range from an afterschool pro-

foods this season. Many religious groups put together these events, so ask around and visit some churches to find out where you can participate.

gram for kids to a Thanksgiving cook-off in which all food and proceeds are donated to the less fortunate. Get creative and make a difference!

to the rescue!

can donate your time is by participating in a Thanksgiving food drive by preparing a hearty, healthy dish. Most soup kitchens and food dona-

It’s for the Kids

Do your part this season and make a difference in the lives of little ones. JAYE has a variety of ideas for making the most of your holidays by giving the most to others by megan elliott smokeless day Calling all smokers: Take your hands off the pack and give your lungs a break! November 17 is the 36th Great American Smokeout Day, powered by the American Cancer Society (ACS), to encourage smokers to nix the habit or create a plan to quit. ACS hosts events nationwide to promote and educate the public on maintaining healthy lifestyles. To get involved on campus, visit your infirmary or campus activities board for ways your university is helping to put out the smoke and save lives. Find out more at www.cancer.org. –EJ

20 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

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Cram! >> News Black Friday Prep

What do 4 a.m. and the Friday after Thanksgiving have in common? Hunger! Before you tackle the crowds, load up on an energy-boosting breakfast consisting of a hard-boiled egg, a cup of oatmeal, peanut butter toast or a bowl of fruit. Double-check the sales papers, your personal lists and running from store to store can be draining, so throw a banana, apple or energy bar in your purse for a mid-day boost. You’ll have the energy to snag great clothes at great prices and still have room for seconds on that leftover turkey. –EJ

Feeling Kinda Blah

Midterms got you in a slump? Or do you just feel crunchy? Psychology Today suggests that humor is our saving grace, keeping us psychologically healthy. Post these jokes to your fridge, notebook or wall for a much-needed boost to your psyche: >> “Last night I lay in bed looking at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.” –Anonymous >> “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” –Homer Simpson >> “What are the three guaranteed words to humiliate men everywhere? ‘Hold my purse.’” >> “Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say ‘Are you gonna drink that?’” >> “Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another in case it doesn’t rain.” –Mae West –EJ

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Coffee Break! Says the New York Times, women who drink two or more cups of coffee each day are less at risk of depression, according to a team of researchers at the Harvard Medical School. Still, the study’s author advises women to not begin drinking more caffeine: More study is needed, he says, and very high caffeine levels can increase anxiety.

In the Know

Five Things On Our Minds This Month 1. According to studies conducted by The Huffington Post, college students and graduates have an average student debt of $24,000, though many have up to $104,000. 2. TV doc Dr. Oz is in hot water. His claims that trace amounts of arsenic in apple juice lead to health problems are being disputed by the Federal Food and Drug Administration. 3. After looking at SAT scores, class workload, and student opinion, The Daily Beast listed SUNY Binghamton as the least rigorous college. 4. If you’re frustrated with airport security, there could be a solution on the way. Pittsburgh International Airport is offering passengers with one carry-on item the option of going through an express security lane. 5. Do your friends look like you? A recent study says that humans are wired to have positive regard for those that have similar physical characteristics. –BF Here’s to hoping airports across the country adopt the express security lane!

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Cram! >> Culture

Agenda

your cheat sheet on what to watch, hear, see and read this month Watch: The Playboy Club, (NBC) Mondays 10/9c Keeping with the retro trend of television this fall, NBC is taking viewers back to the 1960s and behind the ropes of the exclusive Chicago-based playboy. Even with the controversy surrounding the show’s risqué material (the uncensored version airs at midnight) it should be interesting to see how The Playboy Club fares with audiences.

Watch: Charlie’s Angels, (ABC), Thursdays 8/7c The classic drama returns with a trio of reformed female convicts-turned-secret agents (played by Rachael Taylor, Minka Kelly and Annie Ilonzeh). If you were a fan of the movies, you’ll love the show. Actress Drew Barrymore serves as one of the show’s executive producer, so you know this series is going to be sizzling! see: Jack and Jill (in theaters November 11) Adam Sandler pulls double duty in his new film as he plays Jack Sadelstein, a happily married father, husband and ad exec—but every year, his glee turns to misery when the holidays roll around and his twin sister Jill (also played by Sandler) visits, rearing her irritatingly indigent head and shaking Thanksgiving dinner up. hear: The Dreamer, The Believer (released on November 22) Fueled by the momentum of his buzzed-about book One Day It’ll All Make Sense (Maya Angelou calls it a “magnificent memoir!), actor-author-rapper Common is back with his ninth studio album, The Dreamer, The Believer, comprised of songs that celebrate “ the spirit of the music,” according to the artist. 24 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Read: One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell Written by the creator of Sex and the City, One Fifth Avenue takes place in the Big Apple. Like many of Bushnell’s books, it documents the life of a New York City woman who moves back downtown after separating from her husband. With a juicy plotline and the same Sex and the City fun you love, this read is a sure winter standout. see: My Weekend With Marilyn (in theaters November 4) With two books by Colin Clark as the foundation, My Weekend With Marilyn, which stars Michelle Williams, Kenneth Branagh and Emma Watson, centers around a Monroe’s week spent with Clark (after her husband Arthur Miller leaves the country) where she escapes from her Hollywood routine and the pressures of work.

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Trends The Look: Fashion

Gucci, Fall 2011

H&M vest, $62; hm.com. for stores.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

Fashion Thesis Fur-eak Out!  From Alice+Olivia to Gucci to Elie Tahari, designers all nailed it the fur fad, and fall turns the corner and the sun begins to fade, functionality becomes just as important as fashion. To testdrive the look, pair a vest with a cute pair of riding boots to complete your outfit and you'll be sure to turn heads. Or trudge through campus in faux-fur-trimmed wedge boots that beg to be tucked into your favorite skinnies. And with the eco-friendly options on the market, you can find a piece perfect for your budget and taste level.

Rachel Zoe

Aldo shoes, $166; asos.com. Rebecca Minkoff bag, $395; rebeccaminkoff.com.

Liberty London stole, $250; liberty.co.uk. Gucci, Fall 2011

NOVEMBER 2011 // JAYE 27

The Look: Trends >> Runway to JAYE Way

ASOS bag, $105; asos.com.

Salvatore Ferragamo

Diane von Furstenberg dress, $765; net-a-porter.com.

Glimmer Down

By Malene Birger sweater, $97; my-wardrobe.com.

In scintillating shades of silver and gold, metallics take center stage as the finish to our favorite classics

Nicole Miller jeans, $275; nicolemiller.com.

Lipsy dress, $92; lipsy.co.uk.

Forever 21 shoes, $25; forever21.com.

Lanvin shoes, $1,950; net-a-porter.com. Nicholas Kirkwood shoes, $835; boutique1.com. Dr. Marten boots, $110; debenhams.com.

28 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

R13 pants, $295; barneys.com.

MICHAEL Michael Kors cardigan, $376; my-wardrobe.com.

Romwe dress, $36; romwe.com.

MNG by Mango necklace, $40; jcpenney.com.

Jessica Simpson shoes, $80; heels.com.

Marc by Marc Jacobs bag, $498; net-a-porter.com.

Valentino

John Lewis top, $22; johnlewis.com.

Topshop cape, $175; topshop.com.

Basic Training

Cool khakis, army greens and fresh nudes reinvigorate the seasonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s must-wear pieces

Maje top, $395; net-a-porter.com.

The Look: Trends >> Runway to JAYE Way

Bold and Beautiful

Miu Miu top, $485; net-a-porter.com.

Set against foundations of black and white, bright pops of color jump-start your beloved staples Kurt Geiger, $275; kurtgeiger.com.

Balenciaga bag, $1,885; my-theresa.com.

River Island, $23; riverisland.com.

ALICE by Temperley dress, $340; net-a-porter.com.

Mulberry sweater, $1,000; mulberry.com.

Prabal Gurung

J Brand jeans, $158; amrag.com.

Old Navy sweater, $38; oldnavy.com. A.L.C. skirt, $425; net-a-porter.com. 30 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Bakers heels, $110; bakersshoes.com.

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Alexander Wang

The Look: Trends >> Runway to JAYE Way

Smoke Screens

Hazy grays overcast a new wave of streamlined separates and sensational accessories Rag & Bone bag, $325; barneys.com. Leroy & Perry sweater, $415; barneys.com.

Black Fleece jacket, $650; net-a-porter.com.

Donna Karan scarf, $750; net-a-porter.com. Mossimo cardigan, $20; target.com.

Ruche skirt, $40; shopruche.com.

J. Crew pants, $150; net-a-porter.com.

Red Valentino skirt, $675; net-a-porter.com.

Yves Saint Laurent heels, $790; montaignemarket.com.

32 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Kelsi Dagger shoes, $119; piperlime.com.

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The Look: Trends >> Finishing Touches

Tall order

Cole Haan boots, $348; piperlime.com.

Lauren by Ralph Lauren boots, $229; piperlime.com.

<< Wear these with a chunky cardigan and floral maxi dress from your summer stable for a modern take on boho-chic.

soaring above the knee in luxe materials like leather and suede, this season’s versatile riding boots add a dose of effortlessness to your favorite wintertime go-tos Hermès

>> Reinterpret fall's grunge revival with a cable knit sweater and pitch-black skinny jeans.

>> Give your heels a break and slide these boots over a pair of bright tights and pair them with a pencil skirt for a smart office look..

BP. boots, $130; shop.nordstrom.com.

>> Tailored tweeds shorts and a cashmere V-neck sweater are perfect companions for these cute boots. Steve Madden boots, $229; stevemadden.com.

34 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

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The Row

The Look: Trends >> Financial Aid

Smooth Operators whether your partial to cuffed shorts and knee-length skirts or jazzy oxfords and sumptuous accessories, designers have churned out a harvest of leather goods—all for under $100 See by Chloé iPhone case, $95; net-a-porter.com. Gina Tricot skirt, $87; ginatricot.com.

Oasis shorts, $70; oasis-stores.com.

Linea Pelle collection bracelet, $62; lpcollection.com. Vince Camuto shoes, $90; vincecamuto.com.

Steve Madden bag, $76; bluefly.com.

J. Crew belt, $34; jcrew.com.

36 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

ASOS shoes, $62; asos.com.

ASOS bag, $100; asos.com.

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Zara bag, $129; zara.com.

The Look: Trends >> News Luxury for Less Dying

to fill your closet with Versace pieces but don’t have the wallet to make it a reality? This November H&M will help make your dreams come true. H&M and Versace have teamed up to bring you Versace style for an H&M price. The theme of the line is “iconic Versace pieces of iconic Versace moments” according to Donatella Versace in a video promoting the collaboration. The collection will include 40 pieces for women and 20 pieces for men. According to Creative Advisor for H&M in a press release for the collaboration the collection with H&M will be “glamorous and extraordinary, everything Versace stands for.” The line launches November 19th in the United States in select store.

E-Tail Therapy For

Zara shoes,$80; zara.com.

Zara wallet, $60; zara.com.

Kick Your Skinnies to the Curb: Wide Legs are Back This fall skinny jeans are a thing of the past and in their place are 70’s inspired wide leg pants making a big comeback. The fall silhouette is all about elongating your legs and wide leg pants are the perfect tool to achieving this style. The key is to pair your pants with short and fitted tops. The length of the tops will give the illusion that your legs are a mile long and the slim-fitting style will balance out the billowy bottom. Always wear heels with wide leg pants, flats will cut the elongated silhouette you are going for. With those tips in mind you’ll be wearing wide leg pants like a fashion vet. Topshop sweater, $76; topshop.com.

Marc by Marc Jacobs pants,$360; net-a-porter.com.

Chase boots, $90; generalpants.com.au.

Chunky necklaces are taking a backseat to fall’s new must-have accessory: the detachable collar. This quirky accessory is great for adding polish to any outfit. They have been the

38 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

those of you who don’t have a ZARA in your area, your prayers have been answered. September 7th ZARA launched their online shopping in the United States making it easier for you to fulfill your ZARA cravings. ZARA is offering free store delivery and free standard delivery on all orders. As well your returns are free too.

accessory of choice for fashion bloggers and stylists since their first appearance on the runway in Miu Miu’s spring 2010 show. Here are three unfailing ways to style detachable collars:

The Updated Feminine Tuxedo It

isn’t the men who are rocking the tuxedo but rather the women. Women are switching out of their dresses for an unexpected masculine tuxedo look. Designers have updated the tux to make it look feminine and refreshing. Dolce & Gabbana add glitz to the feminine tuxedo on their fall runway with sequin blazers and bright colors (how chic was Beyoncé at this year’s VMAs?!). Liven up your tuxedo look by adding sequin and jeweled details. Jason Wu infused femininity into the masculine tuxedo with lace details, and embroidered blazers. Feminine details on classic masculine pieces will tone down the stiffness of the tuxedo look. Ralph Lauren made their tuxedos glamorous with fur, velvet and satin pieces. Adding fur and velvet to your tuxedo look will give it a retro twist.

>> Pair it with a dress to get a feminine and chic look. >> Jazz up a basic outfit studded collar to add visual interest. >> Team on up with a strapless dress for a quirky look.

Selfridge collar,$28; missselfridge.com.

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Glam The Look: Beauty

Edited by Margaret francois

the final stretch As we enter the last leg of the year, it’s time to add a few new ideas to your beauty cache. We’ve taken inspiration from the catwalk and translated them to the sidewalk and created five alluring looks that have major staying power! by jillian ruffo >> NOVEMBER 2011 // JAYE 41

The Look: Glam >> The Final Stretch

The Trend: Smoky Eyes, Nude Lips Spotted at: Chanel Get the Look:  First, apply a shimmery white to the entire eye lid.  Next, using a pale silvery gray, cover the crease, middle to outer corners, and bottom lid.  To add more contour, take a dark gray shadow and apply it in the crease and on the outer corner of the eye.  Line with black shadow and smudge it using either your fingers, a Q-Tip, or light strokes from a shadow brush.  Apply mascara, and you’re set!  For your lips and face, apply a nude lipstick or gloss, and a pale pink blush.

Stila Eye Talking Palette in The Grays, $25; sephora.com. Bobbi Brown Lip Gloss in Buff, $23; sephora. com.

Nars Cream Blush in Penny Lane, $27; nars cosmetics. com.

This look is a definite staple in every girl’s beauty encyclopedia. Chanel used a pale, metallic version of the smoky eye, which can be a bit more versatile and less intimidating.

The Trend: thick brows Spotted at: alexander wang get the look:  Use a small brush, preferably a brow-specific one, and dab on a bit of either brown shadow or brow filler.  To maintain your desired shape, and to prevent strays, brush on some brow gel and you’re good to go. Smashbox Brow Tech filler, $24; sephora.com.

You can definitely expect to see brows extending beyond a thin stripe as the leaves fall this year. Thin brows are out; thick ones are 42 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011 in.

Bare Escentuals Angled Brow Brush, $12; sephora.com.

Tweezerman BrowMousse brow gel, $10; soap.com.

The Trend: bold lips, simple eyes Spotted at: missoni Mac 316 Lip Brush, $22.50; maccosmetics. com

Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Red Revolution, $5; drugstores nationwide.

With colder weather on it s way, darker lips and subtle eyes are as well. This look is easy to achieve, but will never fail to turn heads. Get the Look:  Use a rattail comb and create a part where you like it; be sure to comb your hair to keep the look sleek and tight.  For a bun, twist the ponytail and wrap it around your hair tie into a bun. Secure it with a few bobby pins.  Editor’s Secret: For perfectly slick hair, lightly spray the flat back of a paddle brush with hairspray and run it gently along your hair. This will prevent fly-aways and keep your hair looking fresh and smooth.

Estee Lauder Pure Color Gloss in Wet Cranberry, $20; esteelauder.com.

Get the Look  Exfoliate! Rich colors tend to sneak into cracks and crevices on your lips. Use a toothbrush to scrub dry skin off of your lips, and be sure to apply a lip conditioner afterwards.  Apply it with a brush! Add lipstick to a lip brush and brush it on, rather than applying the lipstick directly to your lips. This makes the application more precise, as well as creating a smoother, thinner texture.  Here’s a insider’s tip: If you don’t love the texture that lipstick leaves on your lips, add gloss in a similar color on top. Goody Styling Therapy Jojoba Paddle Brush, $10; target.com.

The Trend: sleek ponies Spotted at: derek lam

Tresemme Tres Two Extra Hold Aerosol Hairspray, $5; drugstores nationwide.

Cricket Friction Free Fine Toothed Rattail Comb, $5; justformakeup.com.

Both ponytails and tight buns using a sleek side part were beauty stunners as they came down the runway.

The haircoloring master, Rebecca Friedman.

The Look: Glam >> Beauty Tutor

In Living Color insider intelligence from in-demand hair colorist to the stars, rebecca freidman by margaret francois

As the leaves change into warm, autumn-colored hues it’s only natural that you take a few risks and add a splash of color to your tresses. Dying your hair lighter or darker can revamp your whole look for the better, thanks to the masterful advice from hair-color maven Rebecca Friedman, co-owner of Goodform Salon in Hollywood, Los Angeles. JAYE: How did you discover that styling hair was a passion of yours and why did you choose color as your expertise?

Kim Kardashian, one of Freidman’s notable clients.

Rebecca Friedman: I was exposed to lots of creative people at an early age. As a kid I spent a lot of time between New York City and England. My uncle was a well-known artist in NYC, and at one of his shows his good friend Keith Herring started to graffiti his famous radio head on the back of my dad’s jacket. I was mesmerized, and spent time in 44 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

art school. I would spend summers in England visiting family, and became friends with a group of punk-rock kids. They all had crazy hair and would ask me to do it for them. Color and styling came very naturally to me, and I am able to apply a lot of my art background toward the art of hairdressing. Now I love both being at my salon, Goodform and working on sets and shoots. JAYE: Everyone did a doubletake the first time we saw Kim Kardashian rocking blonde hair! Why did she decide to go lighter? RF: In 2009, she wanted a big change, and given her iconic dark-mink locks, going blond was definitely it. The inspiration was the model Veruschka, a very desert blond. It looked amazing; it was definitely shocking, but in a good way and she loved it. More recently, when I dyed her hair chocolate brown, it was the beginning of this summer and Kim wanted to play with her color and go lighter. JAYE: What advice do you have for someone who is apprehensive about changing their hair color? RF: Seek out a very talented professional who understands your aesthetic, and start altering your hair slowly. JAYE: Do you switch up your hair’s hue often?

RF: Not anymore. I used to. I’ve been every color under the sun (yes…even green). Now I stay very blonde; I have very delicate hair that can’t take lots of change. I’m naturally blond and pretty fair so it works for me. Actually, doing a single process bleach and tone gives my fine hair more body. JAYE: What are some of the common mistakes that women make when it comes to hair color? RF: Following trends that don’t suit their lifestyle or look. Every cut, color and style should be tailored or modified for the person wearing it. JAYE: Is DIY color OK or a no-no? RF: I would almost never suggest doing your own color, especially a major change. People don’t realize that going from light to dark can be very complicated and can be considered a color correction. There are so many variables to think about when coloring your hair. It’s best to leave this to a professional. Cheap hair can be expensive. JAYE: What tips do you have for finding the perfect color for complexion vs texture?

To schedule an appointment or to learn more about Rebecca’s services, call the salon at 323.658.8585 and check out the Goodform Salon’s blog at goodformblog.blogspot.com.

RF: Place a gold bangle on one arm, and a silver one on the other arm. Hold them up to your face in natural daylight. Which brightens your complexion more? Look at your eye color against the two bangles, do they pick up more golden hazel flecks or more cool grays and silvery blue flecks. Silver your cool, gold your warm. If you can wear both you may be more neutral, which gives you greater spectrum of hues to play with. As for texture, if your hair is curly and or wiry avoid going too light. These textures are generally dryer by nature, and going light will only dry it more, making it hard to style. For finer hair adding lighter color may actually make your hair less limp. 

Kim’s color in the photo above-left, was inspired by the German model-actressartist Veruschka.

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The Look: Glam >> Beauty Diary

Beauty News I’m Thankful For

just in time for the season of giving, margaret francois’s supplied you with five need-to-know bits of beauty intel to carry you through the holiday season LC DOES F&B

pretty boys

Lauren Conrad is definitely “winning.” The reality TV star turned fashion mogul said she wants to expand her profile by morphing her blog, thebeautydepartment.com into a beauty product line. “I am currently researching all of my options, but should begin the process of executing an actual line very soon — stay tuned!”

NARS and MAC hosted makeup contests, and the winners were boys. Kale Teter of Texas created 12 gorgeous looks and won the NARS “Makeup Your Mind” contest. MAC chose 5 winners for the “Make Me Over” competition, and one of them was a cutie named Ian, who now has his own MAC collection.

tyra’s website drama Tyra Banks

Beauty Director Margaret Francois

caught some tough criticism for hair tutorial on her TypeF fashion and beauty site—they had a women wearing a weave doing a tutorial and pretending as though it was hers made me scratch my head!

stormy weather What do you get

tom ford does beauty After decades as a

formidable force in the fashion industry, Tom Ford is finally bringing his genius to the the wonderful world of beauty with the debut of a Fall collection this month! It’s a (brace yourself) 132-piece collection. Yes, that number is right! I'm adding items to my Christmas list, now! 48 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

when you give Deborah Lippmann and Narciso Rodriguez the liberty to allow their creative genius to collide? An edgy nail polish shade! “Stormy Weather” debuted in February during New York Fashion Week. The grantie nail lacquer was created all of 24 hours before his Narcisco’s Fall 2011 show. It costs $16 at lippmanncollection.com.

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Notebook See, Buy, Wear!

Alberta Ferretti

National Security

Cold weather always poses quite the sartorial diliemma: How do you stay covered up and cozy while maintaining a semblance of sophistication and style? Thanks to our intrepid team of fashion editors, we think we’ve found the solution in the form of a flurry of smart coats, fit for all geographies, body types and budgets. So whether you’re on the hunt for a trendy pick-me-up (we’re coveting the gray H&M double-breasted topper!) or looking to splurge on a perennial investment (may we suggest the multi-colored Marni overcoat as this season’s must-have?), our Shopper pages delineate the key trends and supply a throng of threads to wear with them. Ready, set, shop! >>

NOVEMBER 2011 // JAYE 49

Notebook >> The Best Coats Theyskens’ Theory sweater, $460; net-a-porter.com.

Rebecca Box coat, $220; monsoon.co.uk.

The fur collar and cuffs are detachable— how cute!

Tweed Topshop coat, $200; topshop.com. Topshop skirt, $90; topshop.com.

Restricted shoes, $65; heels.com.

Balenciaga

Étoile Isabel Marant shirt, $280; lagarconne.com.

Splendid top,$52; A.P.C. bag, net-a-porter.com. $250; Edun leggings, lagarconne.com. $290; net-a-porter.com.

H&M jeans, $31; hm.com for stores.

Barbour coat, $465; my-wardrobe.com.

prada

winter white Proenza Schouler sweater, Miu Miu coat, $1,190; $1,765; net-a-porter.com. mytheresa.com. Aubin & Wills coat, $665; net-a-porter.com.

Swap out the belt wit h one you already own for a personal touch.

H&M bracelets, $11; hm.com for stores.

Kenzo vintage fauxfur coat, $182; farfetch.com. Dorothy Perkins boots, $70; dorothyperkins.com.

50 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Christian Louboutin shoes, $835; saksfifthavenue.com.

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Faux-fur styles are just as chic as the real thing—but eco-friendly!

Notebook >> The Best Coats River Island bag, $55; riverisland.com.

Selfridge vintage faux-fur coat, $140; missselfridge.com.

military

J. Crew pants, $140; net-a-porter.com.

Wendy Mink ring, $450; charmandchain.com.

fur MM6 Maison Martin Margiela pants, $323; farfetch.com.

louis vuitton

Peacocks coat, $62; peacocks.co.uk. ASOS shoes, $88; asos.com.

Victoria Beckham bag, $3,750; net-a-porter.com.

Topshop coat, $450; topshop.com.

michael kors

BKE coat, $70; buckle.com.

Alexander Wang shoes, $595; ssense.com.

Marni coat, $788; theoutnet.com.

libertine

Pair contrasting colors together for unique and stylish looks! Topshop bangles, $40; topshop.com.

Let the classic pattern shine by keeping the rest of the look monochrome.

H&M tights, $16; hm.com for stores.

burberry prorsum

graphic

Warehouse dress, $50; warehouse.co.uk. Yves Saint Laurent shoes, $995; net-a-porter.com.

Topshop skirt, $75; topshop.com. Burberry Prorsum coat, $3,995; net-a-porter.com. 52 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

plaid

Dorothy Perkins coat, $78; dorothyperkins.com.

giambattista valli

Isabel Marant coat, $2,070; net-a-porter.com. Equipment blouse, $330; oxygenboutique.com. ASOS heels, $91; asos.com.

Topshop coat, $120; topshop.com.

timeless black Romwe coat, $56; romwe.com.

When you stick to enduring colors, search for modern cuts and shapes.

Lela Rose skirt, $995; net-a-porter.com. Lauren by Ralph Lauren coat, $630; houseoffraser.co.uk.

dolce & gabanna

Show your style savvy by opting for bright shades instead of neutrals.

Save a few bucks and snag an old coat from your dad and have it tailored.

Topshop top, $100; topshop.com.

DKNY coat, $969; my-wardrobe.com.

doublebreasted

proenza schouler

Pour La Victoire shoes, $250; heels.com.

H&M coat, $55; hm.com for stores.

T by Alexander Wang shirt, $188; lagarconne.com.

Romwe pants, $62; romwe.com.

kneelength

Akris coat, $3,890; stylebop.com.

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Body Health & Wellness News

Edited by nikki roberti

10 Quick Ways to Burn Calories— That Don’t Include the Gym

what if we told you that you could burn up hundreds of calories without stepping foot on a treadmill? Turn the page for the details!

by jamie harrison

NOVEMBER 2011 // JAYE 55

Body >> Health Strategies

he colors of leaves are finally changing and fall is in full swing. Between class, work, a social life, you are one busy girl and it’s hard to fit in exercise. However, don’t let the time change and cooler temperatures stop you from being active. Get out, have fun and burn calories while doing it! Just don’t forget to cover up so you don’t catch the sniffles. Biking, Walking or Hiking Outside. Take in all the sights that you usually pass in the car on your way to work or campus. Bring a friend or get some “me time” with your iPod. Taking a brisk walk, bike ride or hike can burn up to 355 calories per hour. Leaf Fights. There’s nothing wrong with indulging your inner youth. Running around, picking up leaves and throwing them at another person is a sure way to have fun and burn calories at the same time. Burn up to 348 calories an hour while engaging in this activity. Raking the Leaves. Try lending a hand to your dad by helping him rake leaves. This full body workout will get your blood pumping and your dad will appreciate it. It burns 266 calories per hour. Shopping. It’s never too late to start early Christmas shopping, and it is also the best time to start looking for the perfect Halloween party costume. All of those laps around the mall have to count for something, right? Believe it or not, shopping is an undercover exercise. You can burn up to 300 calories an hour. Cooking. The fall months bring out some of the best food. Get in the kitchen with your mom to learn some of the secret family recipes. As you work your way around the kitchen, you will also work off some calories. You can burn 90 calories in 30 minutes. Horseback Riding. This is can double as a cute date and a calorie burning workout. This activity burns 236 calories per hour. So grab your cutie and head to the stables. Canoeing or Rowing. Take advantage of a nearby river or lake. Enjoy the water and the sights with these activities and burn

Fitness File: Wear Yourself Slim

As the fall fashion month wraps up on and the mercury on the thermometer drops, your clothes become heavier and can add extra pounds to your sexy post-summer frame. To keep you looking slim, JAYE has compiled the best clothes and colors for a warm and stylish season. Blazers: Not only does the blazer add that extra pop to any outfit, it also doubles as a cover for those

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pesky problem areas. To avoid looking heavy in your midsection, choose a blazer that is cut no higher than your hips. Layered Tanks: Layering different colored tank tops under long-sleeve shirts or sweaters will elongate the body. Choosing a tank that hits the top of the hips will instantly make you look leaner and longer. Bold Jewelry: Statement pieces are a must-have for the fall season, and wearing eye-catching earrings and necklaces will immediately draw

more than 300 calories. Camping. Another fun activity that can be enjoyed with friends. You can burn calories with activities such as setting up the tent, fishing, walking (and probably from laughter after realizing that your tent is never going to stay up). It can burn up to 165 calories an hour. Picking Apples (and Pumpkins). Picking apples and visiting pumpkin patches can help you burn approximately 200 calories and can also turn into a fun family day. Don’t forget about all the tasty apples and the perfect carving pumpkins that you will bring home. Outdoor Boot Camp Class. If you are craving an intense, calorietorching workout session then try looking for a local outdoor boot camp class. Now that the weather is cooling off, some programs are taking their classes outside. You can burn up to 472 calories an hour. eyes upwards towards your face. Fitted Undergarments: Even though bras are hidden under your clothes (hopefully!), they’re the key to determining how a shirt looks on you. Finding a properly-fitting bra will eliminate those unflattering bumps and bulges. Stripes: Stripes have received a bad rep in the fashion world, but vertical stripes are actually quite flattering when paired with neutral prints and colors. Dresses and Blouses: Wrap-

style dresses and blouses cinch at the waist and give the appearance of an hourglass silhouette. Pick these styles in deep jewel tones to create an even slimmer figure. Coats: Coats in chocolate brown, navy and crimson will heat up any chilly weather. Look for an A-line style coat with a wide collar to conceal hips and boost your bust. Sweaters: Make sure your knits are structured enough to give your body definition and keep you looking fit. –Brittney Fennell

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Body >> Healthy Eating these choices are equal parts tasty and healthy!  White meat (4 ounces, 180 calories): White meat is lean and contains less fat than dark meat. If you’re not willing to give up dark meat, try to not eat the skin, which composes most of the fat.  Sweet potatoes (1 cup, 100 calories): You can still have a potato, but this alternative doesn’t add the extra fat from butter, milk and cheese that accompany mashed potatoes. The sweetness of these bad boys will also allow you to leave the sugar-filled marshmallows.  Stuffing (½ cup, 150 calories): A healthier version of stuffing could be made with whole wheat bread and celery, onions, nuts, raisins and herbs as a filler. Leave the butter out!  Green Bean Casserole (½ cup, 75 calories): Green beans are the healthy portion of this dish; swapping out fried onions for sautéed onions will also create a healthier option. EEK! Steer clear of these unhealthy options!  Dark meat (4 ounces, 323 calories): Dark meat contains more fat than white meat and contains most of the skin from the turkey.  Mashed Potatoes (1 cup, 200 calories): Loaded with fat from butter, milk, and cheese (gravy as well) mashed potatoes add a lot of the calories to your Thanksgiving meal.  Stuffing (½ cup, 190 calories): Stuffing made with white bread, croutons and butter composes the less health version.  Green Beans Almandine (½ cup, 220 calories): The butter added to this dish accounts for most of the calories. Although almonds are “good fat,” they are unfortunate culprits in the high fat count.  Pumpkin Pie (1 slice, 315 calories), Apple Pie (1 slice, 411 calories), Pecan Pie (1 slice, 503 calories): Pie makes up the bulk of your Thanksgiving calorie intake. Even one slice, excluding ice cream on top, can cost you up to 500 calories. Fitness File: Weight Watcher The key to staving off the onslaught post-Thanksgiving pounds is to proactively plan your workout regimen a few days prior to Turkey Day. Says Shannon Clark of bodybuilding.com: “Your strategy for the three days surrounding the meal should be to perform a longer duration cardio session the day before thanksgiving to really boost your overall

 Pumpkin Pudding (1 cup, 180-65 (fat or fat free) calories), Vanilla Pudding (1 cup, 104 calories): If you make your own pudding, use fat free or low fat milk to reduce caloric intake.

dinner-table decisions Thanksgiving is around the corner, which means football, family and tons of food. It’s easy to get carried away with h stuffing, mashed potatoes and grandma’s apple pie. But when you indulge in moderation and substitute healthier ingredients in your favorite dishes, you’ll find yourself dodging post-meal regret. Reference our guide to the healthy and not-so-beneficial Turkey Day faves to keep your taste buds satisfied and your waistline in tact. Thanksgiving by the numbers (Source: businessinsider.com) 242 million: The number of turkeys raised in 2010, according to the USDA National Agricultural Statistics Service. 736,680 tons: The 2010 contracted production of snap (green) beans in major snap (green) bean-producing states. 735 million: The forecasted U.S. cranberry production in 2010, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

calorie burn leaning up to the meal, then perform a higher rep strength training workout the day of thanksgiving to deplete the muscle glycogen levels and provide a calorie ‘sink’ for the coming meal to go into, and then follow that up the day after with an interval training session that will boost the metabolic rate to help burn off any of the left-over calories that you may have taken in.” By Liyana Abdul Kadir

58 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

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Love Sex, Men + Relationships

Edited by evette dionne

Strength in Numbers Don’t fall out of love just to fall back in again. Keep your relationship in tact with these five valuable tips by evette dionne

NOVEMBER 2011 // JAYE 61

Love >> Strength in Numbers

e’ve all been there: You love him, but hate the sight of him. When he leaves, you’re unhappy. When he’s around, you’re miserable. If this sounds familiar, then you’ve found yourself in the gray area of a love-hate relationship. JAYE feels your pain, so we’ve compiled five tips to maximize the good times and curtail the bad. Follow these simple, but super-effective rules and you and your beau will be cuddling in front of the fireplace this winter. >> Learn to Compromise. Finding a happy medium will make the difference between a bitter breakup and sizzling Saturday night in bed. If he’s trying to watch football but the season finale of Drop Dead Diva is coming on, TiVo yours and join him with some junk food. It will make a world of difference. >> No Friends Allowed! It may be easier to dish over daiquiris with the girls than address the other person in the relationship, but how can your guy start fixing

problems if you don’t communicate them with him? Instead of having dinner out with friends, create a boyfriend’s night in. Pop the cork on your favorite bottle of wine, prepare a nice meal, and just talk. >> Bury Grudges. If you decided to forgive him for committing a hurtful or selfish act, you can’t bring up those old mistakes every time the two of you have a disagreement. Dwelling on the past is the quickest way to head towards relationship disaster. Bury those grudges in a time capsule and move towards the future. >> Accept Flaws. You can’t be Miss Fix-It. He might snore louder than Simpson and his “mommy’s boy” attitude can be stomach-turning at times, but accept him as he is! There are things about you that touch a nerve with him as well, so pick your battles carefully. >> Reflection. Take time to reflect on yourself to figure out how you can improve. Set a spa appointment and use that time with the manicurist to think about what you can do differently to help your side of the relationship.

“Dwelling on the past is the quickest way to head towards relationship disaster.”

>> Sex Q&A

Does putting a lid on the cookie jar help a lovehate relationship? To put it simply: no, it won’t. In the long run, it might accomplish the exact opposite. While it’s understandable that you may not want to twist around in the sheets when the relationship is souring, it can actually be detrimental to purposefully withhold. And if you’re not attempting to fix the issues in the relationship, refraining from sex won’t make a difference. Love-hate relationships are war zones, and sex might just not be a battle worth waging.

62 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

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Love >> Relationship Bulletin

ublic Policy Polling, a North Carolina polling firm, recently polled GOP voters in Mississippi and revealed that 46 percent of Mississippi Republicans are against interracial marriages and believe the practice should be illegal. Almost fifty years since the Supreme Court ruled that banning interracial relationships were unconstitutional, an astounding fourteen percent of Republicans are still unsure about their sentiments regarding them. What these numbers indicate is that although interracial marriage rates have more than doubled since the ‘80s, sixty percent of Mississippi Republicans cannot move forward with this growing trend. With the onset of a new day and age with the a black president on the heels of seeking reelection next fall, one

express their urges publicly. These attitudes were so widely embraced amongst interracial unions largely due to the fact that a couple’s desires were no longer confined and were given the freedom to reign. With all the progress we’ve made, it’s distressing that society cannot make long strides ahead.

According to a recent poll, nearly half of all GOP voters in Mississippi are against interracial relationships like Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s.

The Skinny: Although same race couples continue to dominate the dating scene, interracial dating is still very much a part of our expanding culture. And with colleges becoming more diverse, advocating a smorgasbord of cultures, the percentage of interracial couples is bound to increase. Nevertheless, Mississippi’s conservative views on relationships highlight the archaic belief system shared by a vast majority of the big wigs in high places. Fortunately, antiquated belief systems almost always break down and fade away. Our culture only exists

Blurring the Color Lines

We may see them in our everyday lives, President Obama is the offspring of one, but a small (and vocal!) segment of the country still opposes interracial relationships. Jesica Met explores the contentious topic might assume that polls with these results wouldn’t exist. However, the age old saying, “you can’t please everybody,” is more evident now than ever before. Although it took some time for most states to get used to it, the Supreme Court ruling in favor of interracial marriages empowered people to step outside their color lines and

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through change. If we were to remain in the same position moving at a rigid pace, our world would cease to survive while the younger generations would have no choice but to rebel, as they always do. The idea of actually banning a couple the rights to marriage due to a contrast of their skin

color is one step closer toward segregated bathrooms. America is one of the most diverse countries on this earth and it’s almost ludicrous to reintroduce laws meant to reject the future this world is obviously heading toward. Nonetheless, politics aside, people forget to comprehend the immediate cultural differences interracial

couples have to face. It is one thing to remember to shake hands or kiss cheeks or if your shoes stay on or off, now you have to worry about Mississippians wagging their fingers and contemplating attempting to stop your union before it even begins. While these practices will infuriate many, there will most certainly be

that group of individuals who have to sit back and ask the question, “Is it wrong?” Upon asking this question, we have catapulted our way of perceiving the nature of a relationship away from depth and closer to superficialities. The “Others”: So it’s Saturday night and you notice that the fine-haired cutie from campus sits at the other end of the hair spectrum of your kinky curls. Do you ignore the profound conversation he indulged you in and revel in the fear of being watched as you giggle over cheddar bay biscuits during your public outing? As you overanalyze the possibility of dating outside your race, you create a society of “others” that implore you to question the true characteristics that make for a meaningful relationship. Never mind his wickedly insane charm or his stomach-holding humor; his skin color has now swallowed your better judgment by condemning you to asking unnecessary questions like, “Would I enjoy his potato salad?” It is important for you to recognize what types of questions you’re asking because it can place you in a jarring predicament. You may have started asking questions that drew attention to your similarities, but questions that reiterate your differences only make it harder to forge a serious relationship because you now view him as “other” as opposed to someone you can find common ground with. Concentrate on empowering the relationship by accentuating how you both

love art or how you both enjoy spending time with each other, rather than how different the two of you may be. The Stigma: To move forward, we need to remove the stigma attached to interracial dating. The sideway stares when you notice a black man with a white woman, the headshaking associated with seeing a Hispanic woman with a white man, or the head bowing when you catch an Asian man with a black woman—the list can go on—all say something about society’s view about in-

over sexy white men. Suspension of disbelief is apparent in film because viewers choose to ignore the stigma often associated with interracial dating. Nevertheless, the amount of interracial couples often seen onscreen mirrors the number of interracial couples in real life. However, the fixed lines surrounding dating are beginning to blur and the stigma should increasingly diminish, especially during college years. In college, there are almost ten girls to every one guy so the dating scene is fierce. So with the small pickings made avail-

The initial anxiety that occurs naturally in relationships can’t support the weight of unnecessary emotions. It’s empowering to realize that you care less about the stigma that some people continue to live by. When you’re in a relationship, regardless of who you choose to date, you need to take control of what’s important. The questions to ask when you start dating should determine what values you two share, if he speaks your love language, if you can see yourself spending quality time with him. Have the courage to influence

Albeit a small percentage, interracial couples are around and it makes it no easier for them to deal with the cultural differences within their relationship when they have to also bear the silent criticisms from the judgmental eyes that await them at their doorsteps. terracial dating. Albeit a small percentage, interracial couples are around and it makes it no easier for them to deal with the cultural differences within their relationship when they have to also bear the silent criticisms from the judgmental eyes that await them at their doorsteps. Relationships are hard enough and it’s disheartening to move forward when society continues to look back. For a while, television and movies steered clear from portraying interracial relationships. In the past, rarely would you see the main characters of a romantic comedy be from different ethnic backgrounds. Now, it has become the norm to view black men pining over beautiful Hispanic women or black women daydreaming

able to women, you shouldn’t fear being bold enough to go after what you want and pursuing happiness. Power it Up: By exercising influence, you define what it means to have power. Choosing to date outside your race states that you do not live in fear of everyone’s opinions.

ard Mildred and Richntiffs Loving—the pla eme in the 1967 Supr emed Court case the deial bans on interrac marriages unconstitutional.

a nation, or at least a college campus, by dating between the color lines. You may realize that the abundance of differences you thought you two had, were nothing but barriers that may have kept you from something worth trying—or you’ll feel empowered to try new things you never thought you could before. 

Love >> 60 Seconds with a Cute Guy

This Month’s Cutie: Greg Caldwell Say hello to this 24-year-old Pharmacy student who’s enough eye candy to fill a prescription for anyone’s sweet tooth What do you find most attractive about women? Her mind. Getting to know a woman mentally allows me to learn how she operates, what she’s about, what she values, her turn-ons and her pet peeves. What are your life goals? My number one goal is to become a licensed pharmacist, which I’m currently pursuing at Hampton University’s School of Pharmacy. Who’s the most special lady in your life right now? My mother, of course, because she brought me into this world, but my Grandmother and Auntie are special as well. These three ladies are the reasons I strive so hard to be all I can be in life. What do you look for in prospective girlfriends? The characteristics I would like my queen to have are a loving personality, intellect, and patience. She also has to be fun-spirited and easy to get along with. –Evette Dionne 66 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

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Life Breathe Because College is More

than the Classroom

Edited by samantha nisenson

Again

While being around family can bring you fuzzy, warm feelings, it can also inundate you with stress and a loss of routine. Stick to these five easy tricks to keep your life in order at home and at school by megan elliott

eing home for the holidays can be a muchneeded reprieve from semester stresses, but too much of a good thing can ruin your vacation. As tempting as it is to lounge around your living room in sweatpants all break, an open schedule and hours of free time can drive you crazy if you’re not careful. Luckily, we’ve got you covered, so read on to learn JAYE’s way of avoiding a winter break-down. Stay organized. One of the most important ways to relieve stress is to have everything in order, but it’s not always easy to do when you’re back at home and under your parents’ roof. So in order to maintain your sanity in your surroundings, keep organized from the beginning. Don’t just throw your bag on the ground and flop on the couch. Unpacking your clothes and putting them away way will completely change the mood of your staycation. Set a loose schedule. It can be difficult to

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Life >> Girl Talk stick to your usual routine when you return home, especially with your childhood bed constantly calling your name. Every morning, try to plan five activities—like grocery shopping or painting your nails—to keep propelling you forward through your day. Keep your beauty routine. Just because you’re not in your usual surroundings doesn’t mean you have to act like a cave woman. Keep up with those unruly brows, wear that facemask, and push back your cuticles. Don’t take a break from hygiene just because no one can see (or smell!) you. Get your beauty sleep. A good night’s rest can change your mood and outlook on life. According to a study conducted by the American Psychological Associations, sleep deprivation can severely mess with your psyche, and your mood is its number-one target. But staying in bed all day can also have a negative effect on your body, so try to aim for seven hours a night and to feel like an energized goddess. Stay active. Exercise is a great stress reliever and mood booster, and a London University study shows you can reap huge benefits from short exercise. Take as little as 15 minutes out of your day to walk your family’s dog, pop in a yoga video, or play a game of touch football.

JAYE Q&A: Samantha Brown At the age of 14, Samantha Brown started on her dream of working in the fashion industry and now owns her own consignment business, The Missing Piece Online. We sat down with Samantha and collected her best tips for aspiring young women like you! JAYE: How did you begin

Show Me the Money: A study done by Allianz Women, Money, and Power explored the problems women have with money. After asking 1,925 women to identify their attitudes and behavior towards money, they found that 90% of the women did not feel financially secure, despite the group being educated and in control of their own wealth. This suggests that a lack

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working towards a career in the fashion world? Samantha Brown: When I was 14 years old, I took notes and did everything possible to learn how to get started in the fashion industry. JAYE: What inspired you to start your own business? SB: I was just looking for a way to make money when I was selling my friends’ clothes, and

my sister pushed me to make a living off of it. JAYE: Did you hit any obstacles along the way? SB: Finding the courage [to start my own business]. Just don’t be afraid to take risks. JAYE: Can you give our readers a quick tip for success? SB: Take hold of every opportunity. Network and go for it! –Samantha Nisenson

of knowledge about financial decisions is the biggest obstacle for most women, which can lead to overspending or money mishandling later on. To avoid financial disaster, take advantage of your school’s financial services and seek advice to understand the benefits of money management. As any business owner would agree, financial education means financial success.

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Life >> Get-Ahead Guru

Making it in America

Every day in New York City and around the country, thousands of young businesswomen are toiling to unleash their brilliant ideas to the public. with the sage advice of these go-getters, you can be one too by samantha nisenson

o aid you in your own journey, we’ve talked to three young business owners, all who run their own fashion company, to give insight on how they overcame failed attempts and what it takes to succeed. Don’t be afraid to start young. Samantha Brown, founder and owner of TheMissingPieceOnline started working at fashion week at the age of 14. She continued interning as well as taking jobs at prominent designers in New York, often times working for free, just to learn. She started her company in college with the help of friends and when she graduated was finally

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ready to take the risk on her own. Calling on his friends and own. family, he received the inspiraKnow your market. Jamie tion he needed to contact an Futterman had faith that her advertising company and build scarf company Just Jamie his thriving business. Cohen Scarves would be successful suggests contacting anyone when she and everyone you started it dur“Follow your know—you may ing a cold winsurprised at who dreams; never be ter at Syracuse will be able to help give up” University. you. –Max Cohen Ride out the tough With college students in times. All three of mind, she made her scarves these business owners have practical, affordable and faced difficult months where fashionable, which appealed sales were down and money to young adults who wanted to was tight. As Futterman says, look great on a low budget. “There were times I thought Consider the risks and just go about applying for a corpofor it. Max Cohen, founder of rate company and calling it MaxMade, a vending machine a day. When you have your for t-shirts, socks and underown company you can’t do wear on college campuses, was that—you’re emotionally nervous about going out on his attached.” Just believe in your

product. Your passion will shine through and the sales will come. Be your biggest fan. The easiest part for Cohen when starting his business was that he truly loved his products. “It’s fun to think of the ideas for the brand, so I get really into it and it doesn’t feel like work,” he says. Futterman and Cohen often work together selling their scarves and clothes, showing customers their favorite pieces and making people feel the same passion they have about their own products. “Follow your dreams; never give up,” says Cohen. The bottom line: if you have an idea, don’t be afraid to share it. You never know where your imagination and hard work can take you.

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Life >> Money Monitor

iSaver

Need to make a budget? Keep your accounts on hand? Pay bills on time? We found apps for that by samantha nisenson

The recent obsession with iPhones and iPads has left many people wondering if there are more productive ways to use their toys besides playing Angry Birds all day. Here we will feature the top 5 apps for creating budgets and managing money on the go. Let your phone do the work for you and get ready to save hundreds of dollars every month with these few money saving programs. Best Budget-Making Apps Mint.com: This free application, along with its online website counterpart, does exactly what it claims to do. You may have to log into your own bank to allow Mint to access your information, but once you’re in, it can set a budget for you, track your revenues, organize expenses by category, and break down your monthly spending habits. Envelopes: This easy app ($0.99 from iTunes) lets you track your spending by placing each of your transactions into a separate “envelope” to keep everything in categorical order. Best Apps to Keep Tabs on Your Accounts Bank of America: If you have this bank, get ready for the simplest form of banking to date. Transfer money between accounts, pay bills, and check your balance all from your phone. This app also updates

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every few minutes to keep only the most accurate information. Free from Bank of America Personal Assistant Premium: Unlike some of the other finance apps, this allows you to view multiple accounts in one place and enroll accounts right from your phone, for $6.99 a month. You can also track time-saving information like your cell phone minutes, frequent flier miles, and your Netflix queue. Now who doesn’t want to know that? Head to iTunes to download. Other Silver Medal Apps

ATM Hunter: One of the most unfortunate situations is when you’re lost without an ATM. MasterCard’s free ATM Hunter helps you find an ATM closest to wherever you are. Download this if you’re new to a city or just rushing to find some cash. BillMinder: With tons of papers and tests to study for, it’s hard to remember when rent is due or a credit card bill needs to be paid. With BillMinder ($1.99 from return7) , you can keep track of recurring bills, mark them paid or unpaid, and manage payments.

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Life >> Girl Talk

Friend or Foe

Your circle of girlfriends can be just as toxic and the new guy in your life—just ask the ladies of the real housewives of atlanta, which premieres with a new season this month. here are the five types to steer clear of by megan elliott

ven the most confident and powerful women can get caught up with the wrong person. In fact, sometimes they can be a target. Here are a few warning signs that will help you identify a harmful friendship: The Judgmentatal Friend: Ashley, a senior at NYU, recalls her high school friendship, “I never wanted to show my friend anything new I bought. She always had something negative to say about the things I chose.” Does your friend think she’s better than you for some reason? Does she hold private things against you? Your friends should be the last people to judge you. “People have different opinions on style, and that’s fine, but it doesn’t make mine 76 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

wrong.” Ashley comments. Remember the Sex and the City episode where Carrie walked in on Samantha and the mail delivery boy? Judgment in a friendship isn’t right and if you feel like you’re being judged, confront your friend; and make sure not to judge her either. The Jealous Friend: It’s always nice to surround yourself with positive people, but when you have a jealous friend, everything seems not so great. If your friend puts down your accomplishments or tells you that those cute shoes you just bought weren’t worth the price (“Shouldn’t you spend your money on more important things?”), she could be jealous of you. By putting you down, she feels better about herself, but hurts you in the process, which is definitely a sign of a

toxic friendship. Your friends should be honest with you, but also happy for you when you need support. Another sign of jealousy involves lying. Does your friend tell you an outfit looks bad just so you won’t look hotter than her? If you’re not sure, try on an outfit you would never be caught in and ask her what she thinks. Her answer will let you know if she’s genuine. The Competitive Friend: Friendly competition can fun, but some people take it too far. When your friend always competes with you, it can start to get you down and eventually, she will cross the line. She’ll hook up with your ex, copy your new trendy haircut, or try to weasel her way into your life some other way. Dr. Jan Yager, author of When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal With Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You, shares some much researched insight, “Competition implies a race in which one wins and the other loses; those conditions are quite the opposite of what someone typically expects in a positive friendship, especially a close or best one.” You and your friends should be on the same team, not fighting against each other, and always trying to one-up each other; that sounds more like a frenemy. The Party Friend: It’s OK to go out and have a good time. It is college, after all. But sometimes too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. If you have a friend that is constantly dragging you out to party, you could be part of a toxic friendship. Partying will eventually catch up to you and your school work. These friends are often only available when you want to go out, or when they want you to go out. “I

have friends that won’t respond to my texts when they already have plans that night, but when something falls through, they want to be my best friend,” Bridgette, a junior at The University of Alabama, shares. Where is she when you have a bad day and just want to binge on ice cream and watch movies? Probably out at the club…not missing you. Another problem about the party friend is that she gets mad at you when you can’t go out with her. When partying is your number one priority, you tend to be a bad friend. The Untrustworthy Friend: Friends are the people you are supposed to be able to confide in, right? Well, if you can’t trust a friend, then there’s a problem. Arielle, a recent graduate of Florida State University, reveals her situation “I had friends ask me about something that I only told one person. I obviously know who told them, so why would I trust that person again?” Friends should be able to keep your secrets and if they can’t, keep your distance and don’t share anything private. Remember, friendships are relationships too. So if you wouldn’t take something from your man, then you shouldn’t take it from your friends either. You should be able to confide in each other, have fun together, and bring out the best in each other. If you’re in a toxic friendship, you might want to rethink it. Look out for friends like the ones listed above, but also make sure that you aren’t one of those friends. It takes a powerful woman to realize that a friendship might not be as beneficial as she thought, and an even more powerful woman to end that toxic friendship. 

jaye

because college is more than the classroom

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Digest The stories of girls just like you

Caught in a Bad Romance

According to statistics, Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined, but as one brave survivor reveals to Megan Elliott, sometimes emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical assault

elieve it or not, abusive relationships are all around us, and we don’t just mean the physical ones represented in Lifetime movies. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, domestic violence is “a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.” Strong, powerful women fall into these traps every day and although you may think that you are smart enough to realize when your relationship is going south, intelligence

has nothing to do with it; anyone can be manipulated by a controlling partner, regardless of age, race, social status, or gender. One brave woman shares her story—and gives some advice on how to escape. Rose Tillman* was a young high school graduate on the fast track to success. The popular church-goer graduated with honors and an overflow of extracurricular activities, so it was no surprise that she got into the college she always dreamed of attending. It was close enough to home so she could visit often, but far enough that she could start her own, independent life. >>

NOVEMBER 2011 // JAYE 79

Digest >> The Real Deal Although she had worked her way through high school, college was totally different, but she made it work. The Hook Luckily, Rose’s cousin, Sarah*, lived less than an hour away, so anytime she felt homesick or stressed, she could drive over and vent about the day. Then, on one weekend visit, Rose met a cute guy with an edge. James* “had that ‘bad boy’ vibe, but he seemed to open up to me,” Rose says. “He made me feel special because of that.” What Rose didn’t realize is that James was already beginning his manipulation. He knew vulnerability when he saw it, and he took his chance for another victim. Rose was always the girl to go to when someone needed help, and she admits, “That’s why I wanted to be there for him.” She continues, “He needed help and I knew I could be the person to change him. James was a big player, but I thought that I could put a stop to that.” The Trap Rose found herself visiting her cousin more often—not only when she was down in the dumps, but also just when she had free time. James was always hanging out with Sarah’s boyfriend, so she knew she’d see him. He even started calling her when she was at school, and a relationship soon ensued. “He made me feel so special, but then the second anyone else gave me a compliment, he shot it down.” After a few weeks, compliments only felt real if they were from James. “He had this confidence that made you 80 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

believe everything he said,” Rose recalls. James didn’t just have the “bad boy” image—he was a one. “I found myself doing things that I would never normally do. I was always against that stuff my whole life. I even bailed him out of jail.” To Rose’s friends, it was clear that James was emotionally abusing her. She had changed, but she didn’t see it. “I wanted to be the one that changed him, so I stuck around,” Rose reveals. But it never seemed to be enough. “He would tell me he loves me one day, and then the next day I was stupid, over dramatic, and ugly.” The once outgoing and vibrant Rose was now selfconscious and passive. The abuse continued throughout the entire relationship and Rose found it harder to leave. “Every time I helped him, he was so nice to me, but as soon as he got what he wanted, he was right back to putting me down and telling me I wasn’t right for him.” James had Rose on a string and he knew it.

of this, Rose thought he was finally changing. Maybe all he needed was a wakeup call like some jail time. However, she was wrong. “The day he got out, he broke up with me—for the hundredth time.” Rose couldn’t believe it at first, but she remembers, “I finally realized that things were never going to change. I completely put myself out there and tried to help him and he didn’t want it unless he had no one else.” Rose continues, “I always thought that since he never physically hit me, our relationship was OK. Now I know that abuse comes in many forms.”

“I wanted to be the one that changed him, so I stuck around.”

The Escape After more than three years of torture, Rose had had enough. After James’ third trip to the county jail, Rose knew it was the end. “I was the only person who sent him money in jail and wrote to him,” says Rose. “He used the money to call me and he always wrote the sweetest things in his letters.” Because

The Aftermath About a month after James broke up with Rose, he came running back to Rose pleading for forgiveness. “He told me he needed me and couldn’t live without me.” Rose says, “I had heard it all before, but for some reason, I just didn’t care this time. I was over him.” Rose finally realized that he was never going to change. “He is still the same person today as he was then. And two years later, he still tries to reel me back in.” Rose blocked his number and changed hers to make sure he got the message. Cutting off communication is key when it comes to getting out of an abusive relationship. Looking back, Rose still can’t believe how long she put up with his abuse. “He would

Rihanna—who endured a very public domestic abuse experience—is proof that the grass is indeed greener on the other side.

build me up just to break me down,” she shares; “he would pull me in just to push me away.” James made Rose feel like she was nothing without him, and he couldn’t have been more wrong. “I wanted to change him and see him grow and get better. We were raised differently; even if he did change, he wouldn’t be the right person for me,” Rose now realizes. “I strayed away from my religion, everything.” She offers some advice, “If you feel like you’re giving up lifelong morals and values, then he’s not the right one for you. If you think you need to change him, then you don’t need to be with him.” James made Rose feel like she was never good enough, but the truth is, she was too good for him. “I learned a lot about myself and now I know I can make it through anything.”  *Names have been changed to protect the identities of those mentioned in this article

If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, please call 1-800-799-SAFE or visit www. thehotline.org.

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because college is more than the classroom

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Digest >> Lessons & Confessions

he night of Friday, October 8, 2010 was warm and quiet, and the slight breeze gave off a hint of summer in the heart of fall. Midterms were lurking around the corner and the week had me exhausted, so I wanted nothing more than to relax. After dinner with my parents, I drove to my apartment with plans of going straight to bed, and by 11 p.m., I was out cold. In the middle of the night, around midnight, I was awoken by a sudden thumping sound. I saw light coming from the other side of the door, and in my sleepy confusion, I tried to recall if I turned off the lights. But before I could give it a second thought, I had already fallen back to sleep. Around 2:30 a.m., a sudden banging on my door scared me out of sleep and I jumped out of bed to grab my phone. Panicking, I yelled and asked who it was. All I heard was a girl who began yelling obscenities and kicking and pushing my door so hard that I had to force all my weight against the door just to keep it shut. Her voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t remember where it was from. My instincts kicked in and I called my mother and yelled that someone was in my apartment trying to attack me. I was screaming and crying, while trying with all my might just to keep the door closed. The girl was so strong, and I wasn’t even sure if there was someone else with her. I quickly dialed 911 and the operator told me 82 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Inspiration From Within

two officers were on the way. Now I couldn’t do anything but wait. By now, dents had formed in my bedroom door and I was getting weaker with every kick. My life replayed in my mind in a matter of seconds, and I beIt’s been one year since Prairie View A&M gan asking myself questions. University senior, Gabrielle Deculus, “Will I make it out of this alive? Does she have a gun? How will was terrorized by an attacker in her I defend myself?” Houston, Texas apartment I begged God to give me strength. I wasn’t ready to die. My body was shaking and losing strength, but I managed to scream that I had called the police and they would show up soon. I heard her footsteps fade away from the door, and then only silence. She was gone. The attack lasted only 30 minutes, but it felt like hours. When the police arrived with my parents, I threw myself into my mothers’ arms. I never wanted to let her go. The police and my father assessed my door, which was riddled with large holes, scratches and hinges that were loosened to the point of near breakage. to be no help and they didn’t faith in God, I pulled myself After that night, I moved even conduct an investigation. together and tried to move out of the apartment and into It may not have been serious to forward with my life. I knew my parents’ house. When I them, but after the attack I had that no one was going to make was returning to attend therapy this better and I had to take it my key, my “My instincts kicked sessions to cope upon myself. At the end of the neighbor told in and I called my day, all you have is you. with stress and me that the mother and yelled It’s been on year since the anxiety. I was girl who broke that someone was in incident, and I’ve moved out of even prescribed into my apart- my apartment trying anti-depressants, my parents’ house and into an ment was the to attack me.” apartment with a great friend but they didn’t ex-girlfriend of whose support has made the help—I just felt the previous lost. transition much easier. I have tenant. The situation sounded But one day, I decided to brought myself to a much like something out a movie: stop feeling sorry for myself better place and I can go on innocent girl gets attacked by and realized that I needed to finish out my senior year a psycho ex-girlfriend who to overcome my situation. strong. I feel like I have finally thought she was “the other Through will power and my beaten my attacker. woman”. The police proved As told to Ericka Johnson

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because college is more than the classroom

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Digest >> What College Taught Me Says Manzi: “I love to sing! In the subway, the shower whenever!”

Songs in A Minor alyssa manzi is taking New York City by storm

>> After graduating from the University of Maine, Alyssa Manzi, trekked to the Concrete Jungle to make her dreams come true—luckily for us, she’s shared the life lessons she’s picked up along the way. JAYE: What was your most memorable college moment? Alyssa Manzi: Being part of the musical HAIR senior year. The cast and I became close friends, and the end was emotional but also an awesome way to finish up at UMaine. JAYE: Least favorite part of college?

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AM: Having roommates! It was rocky in the beginning. You’re constantly living with friends with no escape, and you have to share everything. JAYE: Most valuable lesson learned? AM: Have a support system early. Being surrounded by people I could trust, could vent to and be stupid with got me through many stressful times. JAYE: How did you end up in New York? What's it like having the city as your backyard? AM: I’ve been in love with the

city since I was a girl, and I knew I would end up here at some point. It’s incredibly different than being Maine where everything closes at 10 p.m. JAYE: What are you currently working on? AM: I’m currently involved in two administrative/personal assistant jobs; one is a music program for children and the other is a production company that has allowed me to work the Drama Desk Awards and The Tonys. I also sing with Khorikos, an a capella group that I auditioned for in January.

JAYE: What direction do you plan to take your talents? AM: There are so many opportunities and outlets for music here, and right now I’m just soaking it all in. I haven’t even had time to do karaoke, so [singing] is on the short list. JAYE: What advice would you pass on to your peers who are still in school? AM: Make decisions for yourself. I’m doing what I love and have no regrets. I might not have a solid plan, but I know that I can always change my mind. –Ericka Johnson

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because college is more than the classroom

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Vintage jacket; Thrifted clutch; BCBG Max Azria slacks and pumps; Oscar de la Renta belt; H&M shirt and ring.

who’s th

In the oversaturated emporium of style bloggers, it’s to fashion was here mixes street-style photos, collages wit at the classest events to give readers and adm Michael jones convinces

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hat lady?

ough to stand out in the crowd. but taliah ferguson of th must-buy merchandise and snapshots from her rounds mirers a perspective unique to the blogosphere. s her to share her secrets

JAYE: You cover many different topics, in addition to your popu- TF: On a good week, about 20 to 25 hrs. It takes a lot of work and lar outfit posts—what inspires the stories you post on Fashion people don't realize that. Was Here? JAYE: How would you describe your style? Taliah Ferguson: It varies from what I see hanging in my closet to TF: Simply put, modern meets vintage. I love to mix those two. You a song I hear or listen to on repeat and even a movie that has inspired will never find me doing anything uber trendy, that's just not me. me. I get inspired by color, conversations with my friends, vintage JAYE: Where do you get style inspiration from? stores and food. TF: Old movies like The Love Story with Ali Mcgraw, my mom, and JAYE: What's the most challenging part of blogging? sometimes magazines. TF: Getting someone to take pics of me and doing research for my JAYE: Outside of blogging, what do you enjoy doing? trend and style collages. Also updating it on a regular basis. TF: Eating yummy food and listening to music. Oh, and the occaJAYE: The most rewarding? sional book reading. I prefer fiction. TF: Letting people in on my perspective of style and how I like to JAYE: What are some of your foolproof staples that you find wear my clothes. It feels good to grow an audience yourself constantly wearing to pieces? who doesn't know me personally but connects “bloggers are TF: A black leather bag with great silver hardware, with me because of my style. very similar to cut off denim shorts, blazers and my vintage JAYE: Why do you think there is such an interest bangles. reality show in bloggers by companies and brands to wear stars and how JAYE: Who are your favorite brands and designtheir products and promote their merchandise? they have taken ers? TF: Because the consumers are more interested in over TV and the TF: Michael Kors, Miu Miu, Alice+Olivia, “real” people—sort of like the girl next door, relatElizabeth & James, The Row, Givenchy, J. crew, limelight. able gal who styles herself and wears it well. Blogs Regular people DSquared², Luca Luca, Opening Ceremony, Mulare extremely accessible just by a click of a button berry. I feel like I'm missing some. [Laughs] like to see and its a great pastime for fashion lovers. We are regular people JAYE: What types of music do you listen to? becoming so influential and they are noticing that. TF: Most genres. I love hip-hop, R&B, alternative, on their JAYE: Why do you think there is so much aniclassic jazz, rock, and indie music. computer mosity harbored towards bloggers? JAYE: Were you into fashion growing up? screen.” TF: I believe it's because we may not be seen as TF: Of course! I blame it on my mom and dad. I experts such as people who may have studied and went to school for frequented New York a lot when I was younger so it sort of stuck fashion. But I hate to say it, it is very similar to reality show stars and with me. how they have taken over TV and the limelight. Regular people like JAYE: How do you get dressed? Do you pick out items at night? to see regular people on their computer screen. For some reason, it’s Is it by mood? fulfilling to them. TF: I am horrible at getting my outfit JAYE: Do you think the blogging craze together the night before. Honestly, I lay in Vintage hat; Express shirt; has staying power or it's just a phase? my bed and gather my looks in my head. Diesel jeans; BCBG pumps; TF: That's a good question. I think about I have a distinctive visual memory of my Missoni that more now than ever before because closet. And certainly my mood plays a sunglasses; Necklace from the blogosphere is becoming so oversatupart in getting dressed. I always have to be taliah’s friend Nigeria. rated. I think the ones who are original, inappropriate for the occasion so that may novative and true to their style will make it. require me to change my look more than JAYE: Any advice for people wanting to once for a day. start their own blog? JAYE: What are some of your suggesTF: Don't force content just because you tions on balancing school and/or work feel your blog needs to be updated everywith other obligations? day. Let it come natural, post maybe three TF: Try to take out three days out of your to four times a week. Take a couple of your schedule—maybe two during the week, blogs as an inspiration and benchmark and one on the weekend. Do your work for how you want yours to be and go from ahead of time, so you can be good during there. Also proofread, proofread, proofthe week. read. [Laughs] JAYE: What are your career aspirations? JAYE: How much time do you devote to TF: I want it all! [Smiles] I would love to be a your blog each week? fashion editor for a magazine and stylist.  88 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Theory blazer; Vintage dress worn as shirt; Emporio Armani skirt; BCBG shoes, Mulberry bag; H&M rings; Lanc么me lipstick in Red Stiletto.

Betsey Johnson dress; Vintage clutch and studs; H&M bangle; Aldo platforms; Trina Turk ring; American Apparel nail color in Make Over. all photos courtesy of taliah’s blog. for more information, inspiration and outfit ideas, visit fashionwashere.net.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Blogs are extremely accessible just by a click of a button and its a great pastime for fashion lovers. We are becoming so influential and brands are noticing that.â&#x20AC;?

 Alice+Olivia Scared to try color-blocking? Never fear, mixing colors is easy! Take a cue from Alice+Olivia, and try a fun belt with a mini dress to make a perfect retro look. Don’t forget a hat!  Maxi dresses aren’t only for the tallest of girls, they can be worn by anyone, and actually make you look taller if you’re short. Try one of a fun print, and for a new look, tie up a neutral-colored T-shirt to add interest in dimension to the outfit.

The New Deal with a year until the next presidential election, politicians continue to engage in partisan gridlock. luckily, the fashion world isn’t as sectarian, as displayed by the season’s key resort looks that inform our style agenda from now on through the turn of the year

Fashion editor: Alexa DuMity 92 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

diane von furstenberg There is nothing more mod then a simple shift dress. To get the look, make sure you get it in a bright color and play with all of your accessories. Don’t be afraid of a different color in your shoes or purse!

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christian dior Matching a shirt and pants can be a lot of work. A jumpsuit does the work for you! If you want to be on fashionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cutting edge, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing more outrageous then a patterned one-piece.

jason wu Not sure how to wear your tailored shorts to school? Pair them with a collared shirt and sweater set for a pulledtogether, vintage-inspired look. Grab a pair of roundframed sunglasses to amp up the feminine factor look. 96 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

jill stuart Nothing makes your legs look longer than a romper with platforms. Make it work for the cold weather with a pair of black tights, or socks with your open-toe platforms.

marc jacobs You might think this look is only for the daring. Patterned pants can be a bit intense, however, when worn with shirts in calm colors and accessories they can really make a statement.

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The New Deal >> Get the Look

Extra Credit

from maxi dresses and classic button-down shirts to cheeky loafers and sophisticated jumpsuits, our editor-approved must-haves to channel resort’s relaxed sensibility 1

1. The key piece: Invest in a striped maxi dress (Madeleine Thompson, $495; matchesfashion. com) and pair it with blazers, chunky knits and sky-high heels. 2. you already own it! Throw a button-down shirt (Organic by John Patrick, $300; lagarconne.com) over a sweater, with hot pants, or even under a sleeveless mini dress.

3. Go Get Now: Wedge loafers (Jeffery Campbell, $170; shop.nordstrom. com) can be dressed up or dressed down. preppy or chic. Plus the platforms add a few extra inches! 4. wise buy: We love the retro-inspired look of this satchel (Fossil, $87; zappos.com) and it’ll hold all of your school notes, work projects or day-tonight styling essentials.

Snag a worn-in button-down from one of the guys in your life!

4 3

Topshop jacket, $100; topshop.com .

Marc Jacobs bag, $495; shop. nordstrom.com.

Start with a sleek black jumpsuit! >> one piece, three ways Halston Heritage jumpsuit, $420; net-a-porter.com.

Topshop loafers, $70; topshop.com.

Kara Ross necklace, $295; net-a-porter.com.

Ralph Lauren Collection loafers, $650; net-a-porter.com. Steve Madden bag, $168; stevemadden.com.

See by Chloé bag, $495; net-a-porter. com.

Topshop sweater, $60; topshop.com. Steve Madden shoes, $150; stevemadden.com.

A Paper Edu at Gold Pr jaye special report

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ucation rices

By Amanda Montell

Are For-Profit Schools and graduating early due to cost causing the college degree to become worthless?

“School is getting in the way of education” is a phrase that has drifted in and out of society’s mouth for decades, but with today’s for-profit “diploma mill” colleges churning out worthless degrees and leaving students broke, this hackneyed saying has begun to deserve serious consideration.

With the future of the economy still looking grim, diploma mills, for-profit schools— educational institutions run by private, profit-seeking companies, like the Apollo Group and Corinthian Colleges, Inc.—that award academic degrees without official educational accreditation, are popping up like the educational mumps. The appeal of the for-profit school is that it allows students, who are not in the position to attend a conventional university, to earn college degrees. TheWeek. com says that for-profits, like the University of Phoenix and Kaplan University, attract their students by offering degrees that can be earned wholly online. They also focus on more pragmatic areas of study

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than the proverbial English or Anthropology majors, such as nursing and law enforcement. The prospect of getting to wave a college degree in the faces of demanding employers, without having ever attended a traditional four-year college with all its bleak dorm rooms, Greek life and years of inconvenience, sounds

alluring to students. However, for-profit colleges are not what they seem; in fact, Allen Ezell, a retired FBA agent who investigated diploma mills in the ‘80s, says they have become “a professional criminal operation.” Truth is, diploma mills offer questionable coursework, degrees that do not lead to good jobs, and leave students

with devastating debt. A particularly horrifying example of the worse-than useless schooling received at some of these institutions comes from a USA Today article by Stephanie Armour. The story describes how in 1999 a mother, upon learning that her 8-year-old daughter had diabetes, took her in to a specialist named Laurence Perry, who seemed vastly qualified with his impressive collection of degrees in the medical field. Well, it just so happened that those degrees came from diploma mills, like the American College of Naturopathy and the National Association of Chiropathy, and they were earned with very little study. The “doctor” advised the mother to

take her child off insulin, and the 8-year-old consequently “began vomiting and died.” Dubious degrees are being handed out not only to physicians, but also to engineers, psychiatrists, and so forth. Ask yourself: Would you want your space shuttle, no matter how many framed slips of parchment he had on his wall, to be built by any engineer with an education equivalent to Laurence Perry’s. TheWeek.com attests that the majority of students at ForProfits never even complete their degrees: “The University of Phoenix, for example, is the industry leader, yet it graduates less than 9 percent of its bachelor’s degree candidates within six years.” Yikes. What’s more is that we

are all paying the for-profit colleges, not only the students who attend them. For-profits, which enroll 11 percent of all undergraduate students, account for over 25 percent of federal students loans and nearly 50 percent of all student loan defaults. These schools have been accused of admitting students expressly to gain access to their federal financial aid dollars (that means everyone’s taxpayer money!), which account for as much as 90 percent of revenue at some for-profit schools. They have had Scarlet F’s for fraud burned into their reputations for deceitful recruiting and admissions. They do all this, only to leave students with crushing debt from loans and degrees that won’t help them

find the jobs they need to pay any of it off.

But why would someone choose to enroll in school in the first place, without expecting to go to class, experience hands-on research, or interact with intelligent, diverse people? Because today, college is less and less about learning, and more and more about a piece of paper called a degree. Current evidence shows that college degrees will soon lose their value if the state of college education continues in its current downward direction. And that doesn’t only refer to for-profit schools. High tuition and a low priority to spend four years earning a Bachelor’s degree have caused an increase in early graduation

rates from regular public and private four-year colleges. For example, The Cornell Daily Sun reports that the proportion of Cornell University students who graduate early has increased from 3 percent of students in the incoming class of 1980 to 10 percent of the incoming class in 2002, according to recent data from the Office of Institutional Research and Planning. Kathryn Boor, the Dean of the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, says that the increasing percentage of students who graduate early “has the potential to seriously change the way we think about a bachelor’s degree.” Students are more interested in obtaining a de-

gree in as little time as possible rather than in learning and honing the most important cognitive skills—communication, critical thinking, complex reasoning—necessary to thrive in the real world. As a result, students are graduating from colleges unprepared to enter the competitive labor force. It should come as no shock why the economy isn’t showing signs of improvement; employers are flooded with undereducated, overly confident graduates, many of whom are desperately looking to pay off their astonishing mounds of college debt.

However, there’s hope for maximizing learning while minimizing idea of breaking piggy banks until you’re 40 to pay off student loans. Lynn O’Shaugnessy of CBS’s MoneyWatch.com reported on a student named Angelica Kalika, who graduated from University of California, Berekely in two years in order to save tens of thousands of dollars. While doing so, however, she was able to make the most of her course schedule so as not to sacrifice much of her college education. Kalika’s methods for doing so included carefully reading the course catalogue, something that most students do not take the time to do, in order to find the most interesting and efficient way to meet requirements. The article says that “At UC Berkeley, for instance, students must take a class that meets an American culture requirement, but those classes

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fill up fast. By closely reading the catalogue, Kalika found an English and History class that met the requirement, which most students overlooked.” She also recommends taking summer classes. Kalika took seven courses in her final summer at Berkely and maintains that summer courses” are far less stressful than [classes taken] during the regular school year and aren’t as tough to get into.” Another shrewd tip is to skip study abroad, if maximizing education and minimizing cost is the goal. Kalika says that for educational purposes

like hers, these abroad programs are the “biggest waste of time.” Overseas classes rarely help students fulfill the requirements for their major. It is a priceless experience to see the world, but when the cost of college is the mix, studying abroad may not be the most price-conscious choice. At for-profit schools as well, there are ways to avoid the potentially catastrophic consequences of overwhelming debt from student loans. To avoid defaulting on federal loans, borrowers can sign up for income-based repayment.

Debbie Cochrane, program director at the Institute for College Access & Success, which runs the Project on Student Debt, asserts that under the program, “borrowers, who pay 15 percent of their discretionary income for 25 years, or 10 years if they’re in public service, can have the remaining amount of their student loan debt forgiven.” In 2014, the program will lower its requirements so that borrowers will need to repay only 10 percent of discretionary income for 20 years. Even after all of the loop-

they are unleashed into the real world with only the minimum requirements to graduate. The notion of diploma mills and hurried education experiences devaluing our degrees is a daunting one, but truly, it is the devaluing of an education—one that makes you a skilled and creative thinker, worker, and decisionmaker—that we must avoid. The sheet of paper you receive in your cap and gown some day may help you get a job. But what will keep you at that job is the sharp and worldly knowledge gained while earning the degree—they’ll only mean something to the work force or to the students themselves if they represent a real education. Those who strive towards long term goals and higher thinking are those who change the world. If the students put the value of learning back into “college education,” everyone else will be soon to follow. And the value of that is immeasurable. 

“The opportunity to spend concentrated time taking courses will not come again in most students’ lives. Hurrying through the wonders of [college] curriculum just doesn’t make sense.” holes and financial planning, students today are still not appreciating or taking advantage of the extremely special educational opportunity that is college. “The opportunity to spend concentrated time taking courses will not come again in most... students’ lives,” says Dean of the College of

Arts and Sciences at Cornell University, G. Peter LePage. “Hurrying through the wonders of [college] curriculum just doesn’t make sense.” An article written by a Law Student at Bighamton University on AssociatedContent.com points out that “the full four years of college is also necessary to get internships

and jobs that will help you gain experience towards your desired career once you finish college.” The time one spends in college is so much more than taking requirements to earn a degree; it allows students the tools to become motivated workers and experts not only in their chosen fields but in many other fields, before

From midterms and internships to relationship drama and money woes, there seems to be a pressure-packed scenario demanding our attention at every turn. To equip you with the tools to persevere, we’ve assembled 26 expert-approved tips to help you accomplish your goals while maintaining your sanity!

the abcs living stressfree jesica metellus

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By taking each task one step at a time, you can manage your stress and finish the semester strongly.

the abcs of living stress free

Webster’s dictionary defines stress as “a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation.”

Sounds gloomy, we know, but today, more than fifty percent of Americans experience stress in their everyday lives, according to the Washington Post. With the flurry of tasks you face everyday, stress is the last thing you want weighing on your mind. So, behold 26 keys to success: the ABCs to living a life free of stress!

Avoid stressful people

Sometimes the most obvious answers are of the most useful ones. Simple solutions produces big results. Many people don’t realize how much their company affects their mood. Any of your associates who delight in stressful situations have a way of bringing that unwanted stress right to your doorstep. So, if you keep away or limit the amount of time spent with stressful people, you can reduce a large percentage of the amount of energy wasted on unnecessary stress. Say “so long” to your drama kings and queens and say “hello” to the myriad of calm compadres that could use a little more attention.

Breathe deeply

There’s a reason why pregnant women learn breathing 108 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

exercises. Taking the time out to take a deep breath slows your heart rate and relaxes your muscles, which in turn reduces your stress levels. According to wellness coach Elizabeth Scott M.S., there are a number of breathing exercises that help with stress relief that range from basic deep breathing to karatebreathing meditation, which uses breathing deeply with meditation techniques. Taking a few minutes a few times a day to take a deep breath can greatly reduce your overall stress and give you the opportunity to tackle obstacles that seemed challenging before. Obviously, breathing exercises are not the cure all to all stress-related illnesses; however, knowing how to take the time out to close your eyes and take a good, much needed breath can make all the difference necessary.

Hence, when you’re feeling stressed, always “B” breathing.

Chuckle more

Laughing is a very common natural remedy to extinguishing stress and living more healthy. Cracking a few chuckles may seem difficult to perceive when stress is knocking down your door, but research shows that laughing more can reduce stress and enhance your overall quality of life, according to Mike Adams, editor at NaturalNews. com. Aside from the obvious fact that laughing at a funny joke just makes you feel good for goodness sake, laughter works to reduce stress on a more physical and chemical level. Remember Patch Adams, the doctor who used laughter as medicine? The premise of the movie sounds far-fetched, I know, but Hunter D. “Patch” Adams is a real American physician for the Gesundheit Institute who understands that health care is filled with fun and play. Adams attributes that laughter helps to reduce not only stress but it also helps to “boost immune system function, protect your nervous system and your sanity, and give your endocrine system a much-needed rest.” So chuckle it up!

Detox

“Detoxify your body to release harmful toxins,” says

nutritionist Vilma Ramos. Detoxifying your body is the process of removing all of the harmful toxins in your body that can lead to stress, illness, and the prevention of your body energy reaching it’s full potential. According to Vilma, stress hinders your body’s immune system which dampers its capability to fight against harmful toxins. By cleansing, you give your body a fighting chance at being physically and emotionally healthy. Common ways to help detoxify your body include going on a water fast and drinking green tea that is rich in antioxidants and promotes anti-aging benefits. Easier ways to detox your body can even include breathing deeply, meditating, and getting a good night’s rest.

Exercise

Even for as little as ten minutes a day, exercise can reduce stress levels exponentially. Wellness coach Elizabeth Scott M.S. says, “exercise can decrease ‘stress hormones’ like cortisol, and increase endorphins, your body’s ‘feel-good’ chemicals, giving your mood a natural boost.” Aside from the chemical relief exercise provides, exercise just helps you look good in those jeans that the notorious “freshman fifteen” took away from you. By focusing your energy into physical activity, you give your mind the opportunity to

Most campus rec centers have the high-tech equipment to help you de-stress at the end of a long day. Take advantage!

ignore the negative emotions you may be feeling and find a more positive outlet for your frustration. Moreover, a study at Princeton University also shows that exercise can also help prevent your susceptibility to stress in the future. It may sound crazy but by exercising more, research shows, can, over time, make you less anxious in the future. Stop avoiding the Rec Center on your way to class and stock up your iPod with some hits—a good sweat might be the answer to your problems.

Focus

Removing obvious distractions, choosing the appropriate time, and getting down to business can help you achieve the act of focusing, according to lecturer Kelly Roell. When you’re trying to study for an important test, losing focus can be the defining factor in you earning an A or an F. Worrying about what steps you need to take to receive a passing grade is stressful all its own, hence, learning successful techniques to focusing is essential. Yes, the game is

on, the season finale is about to air, and your friends have are headed to a party that you just cannot miss but these distractions are avoidable barriers that keep you from focusing on what’s important as well as having well-managed stress levels. There are numerous ways where stress can be avoided, and learning how to focus on the necessities in life is one of them.

Get some sleep

College students usually underestimate the ben-

efits of sleep. Nutritionist Vilma Ramos recommends a minimum of 6-8 hours of sleep a night to maximize your body’s full potential to recharge and restore. Lack of sleep decreases the amount of melatonin, which is a hormone that regulates blood pressure, sexual libido, and a functioning immune system, according to the professionals at WebMD. To achieve a successful sleep cycle, a person should progress through all four stages of sleep before entering a deep sleep, >>

the abcs of living stress free which usually takes about 7-8 hours. The last two stages of sleep are of the most important because during this stage, “the body repairs and regenerates tissues, builds bone and muscle, and appears to strengthen the immune system,” says WebMD. In other words, sleep is much more important to a healthy mind and body than one might assume.

Have fun

The ability to let your guard down and enjoy life is very beneficial to your health. Loosening up and taking the time out to smell the roses, attend a party, or listen to music reduces the amount of physical and emotional tension. College isn’t only a time for hard studying and nail-biting tests. It’s is also a period in your life where you use your social skills and make use of the load of organizations and events that your campus has to offer. All studying and no clubbing can make for a pretty dull student. OK, maybe you don’t have to go out and club but you can spare the time to drop the textbook, pick out a cute top, and head for the nearest crowd of smiling faces. It’s time to release some “feelgood” chemicals; have fun and relieve some stress.

Invest your time wisely

Procrastination is a college 108 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

student’s worst nightmare. Using your time recklessly can bring on a vast amount of unwanted stress that could have been avoided. Anthony J. Onwuegbuzie, Associate Professor at the University of South Florida, states that procrastination is “experienced by approximately 95 percent of college students.” Thus, if you’re guilty of procrastination, you’re not alone. However, by knowing how to invest your time wisely and learning how to complete tasks now instead of later, you can reduce the anxiety associated with academics and even social events. One easy yet often avoided method to stop procrastination is to get started on assignments and tasks as soon as they come to mind. Putting things off to the last minute only places unnecessary stress that comes with having to push and overexert yourself to get things done on time. Time is a smart investment so use it wisely.

Just say “No”

Now, this isn’t an excuse to deny every request. Being assertive in your decisionmaking has a direct effect on your stress levels. Saying “no” means knowing when to put yourself first. Sometimes, saying, “yes” to everyone can mean saying “no” to your own needs. For example, saying “yes” to attending a party the night before a 7 a.m.

final exam is the equivalent to saying “no” to your need to get enough rest to prepare yourself mentally and physically for a mentally exhausting text in the morning. Hence, saying “no” isn’t you being selfish but you dedicating the appropriate amount of time to your existing obligations. When you over-commit to things, you neglect your body’s need for rest and “me time.” Thus, when the opportunity to say “no” comes up, don’t fear; politely smile and just say, “No, thank you.”

Kick back with your friends

Company is always good to have around. Life, especially college life, isn’t meant for you to live alone. Whenever you’re feeling stressed, call up a few friends and make a day of kicking back and hanging out. For example, getting over a bad break-up would feel a lot less stressful if you had some of your closest friends around, a couple of chick flicks, and a handy dandy dart board. Sitting alone in the dark blasting sad love songs would only exasperate those pesky stress hormones that get in the way of finding the next guy to kick back with. Spending time with your friends and family can also be a good tool to take your mind off things. A day at the mall, a stroll down the park, or a night at the movies with your buddies can be exactly what

you need to let go and have fun. Before you know it, you’ll probably even forget about ol’ what’s his name. Hence, when feeling low, kick your feet up and kick back with a group of people worth hanging out with, your endorphins will thank you.

Listen to your body

Your body speaks to you more often than you know. The problem is, often times you forget to listen. When your body is telling you to take a break and get some rest, you ignore it to get a few extra hours of studying in. The issue with that is, when your body needs rest, it’s not asking your permission, it’s telling you that it’s time for rest. What many students don’t understand is that once their body needs rest, anything they do beyond that point is futile. Despite reports that say otherwise, cramming doesn’t work. When your body is ready to shut down, whether you’re ready or not, it’s going to shut down. If your body has something important to say, take a listen.

Manage your money wisely

Debt is the leading cause of stress. Money problems can lead to the end of relationships, weight gain, and more. College is one of the places where students can rack up the most debt. College will only be the best time of your

life if ten years later you’re not selling your dog to pay your loans back. When you monitor your spending habits and use your money wisely, you limit or even eliminate the amount of debt you gain in the future. Believe it or not, worrying about mortgage payments and day care expenses is a lot more stressful when you have a $20,000 loan payment weighing over your head. Now’s the time to learn how to monitor your borrowing limits and spend wisely.

Nooky

Sex. Intercourse. Relations. The act by any other name still yields the same result: less stress. Before

we move any further, this tip comes with the byline of it being completely safe and consensual. Now, sex is an age-old tactic that is effective in reducing stress, especially between two adults in a committed relationship. University of Virginia professor James Coan, Ph.D. reveals that couples who have sex more often “correlates to healing faster, getting sick less often and living longer.” Hence, a healthy, sexually driven relationship does a body good. Sex reduces stress because, as Dr. Coan states, releases those awesome “feel-good” chemicals like endorphins and oxytocin that combat stress. Therefore, if you like to get a little nooky in from time to

time, get a little more—it’s good for you.

Organize

Isn’t it stressful when you can’t find where you left your keys? Isn’t it even more stressful when you can’t figure out where you saved that ten-page paper you were writing for eight hours straight? Staying clean and organized can prevent stressful, hair pulling situations in the end because it allows you to stay on top of your priorities. A lack of organization creates unnecessary delays, which only lead to unnecessarily high stress levels. Invest in a day planner—many colleges hand them out for free during the beginning of a new

semester. It may not be extra fancy but it can come in extra handy when you find yourself struggling to stay ahead. Organization is an important tip not only in college but also in almost all facets of life; no one likes depending on someone who is constantly unprepared.

Practice patience

This generation is the generation of instant gratification. You can immerse yourself in unneeded stress by refusing to recognize the natural order of things. By removing that crushing sense of urgency that overshadows every aspect of your lives, you can reduce stress. On the other end of the spectrum to lack of >>

Let’s talk about sex! A nice romp with your beau will definitely relieve some tension.

the abcs of living stress free patience is a heap of impulse. Being overly impulsive only leads to hasty, irrationalized decisions that increase stress as well. To find a happy medium to practicing patience and managing your impulse means knowing when to alleviate the overbearing need to complete everything now instead of later. When you realize that eventually things will get done, you can relieve the stress of having to wait. Few good things in life come to those who lack patience.

Quit bad eating habits

Fast food restaurants have found a way to dominate the college crowd. With popular fast food chains making their way onto college campuses—right outside your first class of the day—it is almost impossible to deny the lure of overly fried foods and overly greased burgers. Adopting bad eating habits will eventually lead to weight gain, which leads to a poor body image, which—you guessed it—leads to stress. Nutritionist Vilma Ramos states that to reduce stress you should quit bad habits such as “eating after 8pm, eating refined sugars such as candy and baked goods, eating fast food, eating cereals that are high in sugars, and skipping breakfast.”

Relax

Obviously, proper relax112 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

ation reduces stress, but as obvious as it is, so few of us understand its importance. With the constant bustle of homework, club meetings, exams, and parties, we often forget how to wind down. Your body needs the chance to shut down and recharge its batteries. Relaxing can be achieved by sitting down on the couch and catching a TV show that you’ve missed, reading a book, taking a bubble bath, or participating in any soothing activity that you enjoy. Stress is an emotion that doesn’t have to be present in your life. Taking the time to stop and smell some gardenias is sometimes all that it takes to recharge and refocus.

space from school and work life and get on a plane, bus, or boat ride.

Treat yourself

Treat yourself to a spa day, a theme park ride, or a bucket of ice cream—we won’t judge you. This is one of those excuses you can use to be impulsive, just this one time though. Take a time out and get your nails done, change your hairstyle, buy a new outfit, or play with a new gadget. Sometimes, the simple pleasure in life are

limits

Often times we overexert ourselves by taking on too much all at one time. Pushing your body beyond its limits can cause effects that are far more detrimental than you might assume. Take the responsibility of monitoring your body’s demands by limiting the amount of work you take on. If you’re not sure you’re overexerting yourself, symptoms of overexertion often include: headaches, nausea, muscle aches, and dehydration, according to the Treat yourself to a spa day a few days before Finals Week to help you head into the end of the semester relaxed and focused.

Space

Get away for a while. The reason why schools and employers offer so many— although it may not seem like it—vacation days is so students and employees can have the opportunity to recharged and gain energy to tackle the next work or school day. Don’t use up your vacation days with things like work and homework. Take advantage of the opportunity to get away from it all. Spring Break doesn’t have to be about a week of no school. Spring break can mean taking that trip to Cancun like you’ve always dreamed. Search for vacation and cruise ship deals, get some much needed

enough to help you lose a lot of stress and feel great in the process. Now, this certainly isn’t an excuse to indulge yourself immensely, however this is your free pass to stop being so strict on yourself and taking the time to treat yourself, you deserve it.

staff at WebMD. By drinking plenty of water and reducing the amount of strain you put on your body, you manage the amount of stress put on your body. Say it with me now, respect your limits.

Understand your

You have to accentuate the

Visualize it all going right

positives. Don’t be a Debbie Downer and become that pessimist that no one wants to be around. You have to realize that things will get better. However, you have to motivate yourself to push forward because you know that in the end, everything will turn out right. Reading inspirational messages or being around people who are important to you can assist you in remembering this. When you feel yourself getting overly anxious over an exam, a term paper, or an assignment, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture yourself accomplishing these tasks. Don’t avoid things or allow them to overwhelm you, defeat that anxiety by recognizing your full potential. You can do it, now just believe that you can.

understand how to adapt to his or her changing environment and reevaluate whatever methods were in place before that don’t hold much value today. Simple changes such as cutting out small tedious tasks to make room for larger more important assignments with enough time to make it home for dinner is a good way to work smart and not necessarily hard. The same can be said for students, instead of spending twelve hours in the library searching for eighteen sources for a paper is no way near as effective as spending a few hours searching for a few credible sources that leave room for a well-thought out, developed paper. The quote is simple guys: use your head, not your everything else.

Work smarter, not harder

Sometimes we forget that taking care of our body on the outside can have a direct impact on how our body operates on the inside. Remember that day spa that you pass on your way home that looks so tempting but you can never make the time for? Well, maybe it’s time to take a trip to the spa and take advantage of their body treatment packages that focus on exfoliating. Exfoliation entails removing dead skin cells from your skin’s outermost surface to result in a more fresh and vibrant looking complexion. With youthful looking skin

You can reduce a sizeable chunk of your stress levels by simply knowing how to be efficient with your work ethic. With the economy in its current state, many employers are finding it more cost effective to invest in layoffs rather than their employees. Still, for the lucky employees who keep their jobs, the pressure is on for them to produce better quality work to avoid putting their own heads on the chopping block. The only thing constant is change. Hence, a good worker should

eXfoliate

after a blissful spa package, who wouldn’t feel even a little less stressed?

Yoga

Awkward positions, yes; awesome results in relaxing the body and mind, definitely. Yoga is an ancient method used to manage stress. Yoga, which comes from the word “yoke” meaning to join together, is the successful union of the body, mind, and spirit, says wellness coach Elizabeth Scott M.S. There are a lot of different types of yoga styles, so it’s up to you to decide which one best suits you; nevertheless, they all pretty much promote the same result—peace. Scott mentions that aside from its physical benefits, yoga reduces stress while increasing your “sense of well-being and…[feelings] of transcendence.” You don’t even have to grab a gym membership Don’t underestimate the impact of a good yoga session!

to practice yoga. You can do many poses right in your own living room. The purpose of it all isn’t to spend fifty bucks a class attempting to look sexy in yoga pants but to achieve a greater sense of self while reducing some stress while you’re at it.

Zone Out

If you don’t have the opportunity to take a vacation, take a mental one. This is the opposite of deep thought. Xavier, a student from the University of Central Florida, says that he, “Meditates for a minimum of ten minutes a day to clear [his] mind and reduce [his] stress levels.” For a student who graduated high school early and maintains a high GPA, taking his advice should bode well for students who can’t get their stress levels under control. Meditation is extremely underrated and underappreciated. 

get nailed

Our hands can be our best beauty accessory this holiday season. If we can accessorize them with rings we can do the same with fierce colors and design! There’s more to fabulous nails than flashy hues and patterns; nails have to be nurtured and groomed for long-lasting color and a nice finish. We caught up with three nail care experts for answers to burning questions about getting the perfect mani! Here’s what they said about how to keep your nails pretty  Crazy nails at Jason Wu.

114 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Try This: Minx Professional for Lisa Logan, Minx nails usually cost $35$40; minxnails. com for details.

The Expert: Lisa Logan, Celebrity manicurist Clients: Modonna, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Eve, Solange Knowles, Jay-Z JAYE: Why won't my polish stay on? Lisa: The cocktail of the base and top coat that you use will determine the life of your polish. Let’s not forget that everyone’s nails are different. If you have a thinner nail bed that breaks, have nails filed smooth before applying color, because if not, as the nail flakes or chips, your polish will come off with it in chunks.    JAYE: How are the new nail polish trends factoring into the work place? Lisa: Sometimes girls just want to have fun, but your boss might freak out about it. Have fun with your feet and accent your nails by taking a subtle approach, like having four fingers in one shade and painting the thumb, pinky or ring finger with a neon color or design.    JAYE: How should I best store my polish collection?  Lisa: You always have to keep it at least at room temperature. Always make sure that the tops of the polish are tightly sealed, because any air that gets into the bottle can cause drying, especially if it’s a quick-dry product. Imagine how much drying is taking place internally with constant opening and closing of the bottle, so make sure it's sealed tight.   JAYE: How much money should I tip my manicurist?  Lisa: It’s all about customer experience. I won’t put a price on what to give, but if I work hard and give you excellent service, your tip should reflect that.

Interviews By Margaret Francois

The Expert: Dr. Mona Gohara, assistant clinical professor at the Yale University School of Medicine Department of Dermatology in New Haven, Conn. JAYE: Are there any legit remedies to stop biting nails and hangnails?  Mona: There are bitter formulas made to apply to and around the nails so people stop biting them— they are non-toxic, and very effective. Apply liberally and daily to break the habit.  JAYE: Do hair, skin, nails vitamins really work? What do they do?  Mona: Yes, multivitamins are essential to strong hair and nails. Iron deficiency or diets low in folate, or B complex vitamins, can cause hair/nail thinning. A daily dose of biotin is really important, as this has been proven to help strengthen weak hair [and] nails.  JAYE: Is there anything that can be done to

prevent those dark lines that sometimes appear on nails?  Mona: No, longitudinal melanonychia cannot be avoided. It can be caused by genetics or medicines. It often times can represent a mole or even skin cancer under the nail, so it must be checked out by a dermatologist.  JAYE: Are there any long-term issues associated with Ultra-Violet (UV) gel polish manicures?  Mona: UV light treatments are not really recommended. UV light is a known carcinogen, (cancer causing agent) so unfortunately these lights are exposing the hands to harmful energy.  JAYE: What are the most common reasons for nail breakage?  Mona: Oftentimes, dryness or aging can cause nail breakage. Make sure the nails are well-moisturized with essential oils and drink plenty of water to ensure hydration. Also vitamin deficiency can

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cause brittle nails, so make sure you are taking a multivitamin, especially one with plenty of biotin. Lastly, over-processing of the nails with acrylics can cause nail breakage.  apply any enamel or lacquer. That will keep your nail color from staining, whether it's [a] light or dark color. Always use a base coat.  JAYE: How can you maintain naturally white nail tips?   Terrance: Use a top coat that has a UV inhibitor which will keep it from yellowing. Yellowing is usually caused by the pigments of different hair The Expert: Terrance Terry, Celebrity manicurist Clients: Dolly Parton, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Hudson, Taraji P. Henson, Ben Affleck and Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. JAYE: What is the best nailcare advice for in between manicure and pedicure appointments?   Terrance: Apply a top coat every two days and it will help your polish last longer. Make sure you

always have a good moisturizer to keep your hands and the bottom of your feet smooth. Use an exfoliant, like a sugar scrub, and keep a bottle of cuticle oil in your purse and apply a little after you wash your hands.    JAYE: How do you keep darker nail polish colors from staining your nails?  Terrance: With any type of polish you should always apply a good base coat before you

Try This: OPI Touring America Collection, $8.50; Ulta stores.

creams and lotions, or if you're a smoker. So a good top coat can help keep the white from turning yellow.    JAYE: What are the best ways to prevent polish peeling? Terrance: Before you apply nail polish, make sure the nail is dehydrated by spraying nails with 70 percent Isopropyl alcohol and removing it with a lint-free paper towel. 

omg! finally! after intense probing… ...By Arteika Smith and Amanda Montell,



catcall the science behind the

We’ve all heard them: the unprevoked whistles, jeers and taunts as we travel through campus and the community trying to take care of our business. And for the longest, we’ve been conditioned to think that these inappropriate advances are our fault, but not anymore: It’s time to redirect the lion’s share of the blame back on the boys—street cats, we call them—and hold them accountable for their insecurities and inepitutude when it comes to dating

116 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

“Damn girl! Can I walk with you?” You clack down the street from your apartment to class in your favorite ankle booties, minding your own business and suddenly this guy approaches you. We all know him. We’ve seen him leaning up against the door to the main dining hall on campus or out at the neighborhood corner store with his buds, and he often calls out at you, no matter what you are wearing. He’s the resident street harasser, and seems to say every obscene comment in his database to get your attention. You continue down the street like you didn’t hear him, not sure if it is a show for his boys or if you really do look that good in your jeans, but that only makes him pump up the volume. You’ve walked this block daily at no less than your physical worst and at no more than your best but either way, this guy or one of his friends approaches you to tell you in a confusingly enthusiastic voice how beautiful you look and how he can’t wait to get you in bed. 118 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

But why does this unwanted attention always come your way? Whether you’re dressed in daisy dukes or sweat pants, he doesn’t know you, never will, and you are just trying to walk to class. This tactic of cat calling can’t have worked for this guy in the past to get a date, so what is his motivation? And what are you supposed to do with his unwanted attention?

Thomas, a student at Tennessee State University, says most of his friends would claim to have never harassed a woman on the street or the quad, but Thomas knows that all of them—he included—are guilty of it. “It’s normal to see a girl and try to get her attention,” Thomas says. “Most of the time, you hope you can get a smile, but nowadays girls want to act like they don’t hear you or that they don’t want any of your attention, but they know they do.” How is it possible that Thomas and his friends are

under the impression that this type of derogatory behavior towards women they’re unfamiliar with is not only acceptable, but that we like it? Obviously, since none of them are willing to admit to their doings, they must know that it’s wrong on some level. Do these guys think that when we avert eye contact and quickly pass by that we are just playing along with their game, only using the strategy of “hard to get?” Or is there something else, something subconscious maybe, in the psyches of these street cats? “It’s learned behavior,” explains Alex Brooks, counselor with Youth Villages, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping emotionally and behaviorally troubled children. “[Many] young men have never had exposure to [the right way] of approaching someone they are interested in.” Brittany, a student NYU, recounts a story of how a guy once cat called her as she was walking to class in New York City. The

man yelled out a vulgar comment from the driver’s seat of his parked car, with his young children sitting in the back seat. No wonder this seemingly archaic behavior persists, even in today’s society where women are more independent and accomplished than ever before: younger generations are simply repeating the inappropriate behavior they see right in front of them.

Street harassment can also be misinterpreted as funny, thanks to the media. Take your favorite episodes of the hit television show, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Will was always catcalling women, and taking it a step further than many of the female characters felt comfortable with. On the show it seemed harmless and even charming, but there is a line between what is funny on a television show starring Will Smith and what is offensive to a real woman. A female’s natural reaction to the unwanted attention would be to think that perhaps it stems from the way she is dressed. You choose an outfit that makes you feel attractive and classy, only to have it degraded as you enter the Psych building or cross 14th street. This causes you, senselessly or not, to question what you put on in the morning. But more often then not, the catcalls have nothing to do with your outfit; in fact they most likely have nothing to do with you at all. An anonymous married man reports to EMandLO.com, “I’m embarrassed to say that in my late teens when I worked on construction crews, I’d join my... colleagues in catcalling women

passers-by from high up on the scaffolding.” This anonymous street cat goes onto say he did it “for the same reason most of them did: to reassure each other, and possibly ourselves, that we weren’t gay.” John Doe and his coworkers most likely could not recall a single outfit, sexy or not, that the women they catcalled were wearing, because the shouts and whistles were not motivated by the women at all, but instead by the masked homophobia. Our friend Thomas from Tennessee, on the other hand, states that many times the street harassment begins because a man genuinely wants to interact with a woman, but when she picks up the pace and ignores him, his ego gets bruised. To pacify his humiliation, he turns his intentions from genuine to over-the-top in a sort of game to “get back” at the girl for rejecting him. Lou Paget, an American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT)-certified sex educator and the best-selling author of The Great Lover Playbook, corroborates this motivation by explaining how a man might want “to get an attractive woman who may be out of his league to notice him.” Since the guy “is too chicken-shit to say something nice,” Paget continues, “he whistles at a woman, kind of like, ‘I’ll show her.’” The only thing that this type of street cat wants is to get a rise out of the girl so that his ego is boosted and he feels less powerless. So, when the girl begins to walk faster or look disgusted, in some strange way, the guy gets what he wanted. He figures that since

“Most of the time, you hope you can get a smile, but nowadays girls want to act like they don’t want any of your attention, but they know they do.”

a date with the beautiful girl is out of the question, he can at least get a leg up by making her feel submissive. Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D. and author of Sex with Your Ex & 69 Other Things You Should Never Do Again adds that the behavior “reinforces their sense of dominance or manliness.”

The street cat situation on the college campus can be slightly different than that on the street. There is a lot of pressure for guys in college to have a large group of male friends or a tight relationship with their frat brothers, and this pressure will often lead them to act in ways they otherwise wouldn’t. That dude on campus that whistled “I wanna take you home, sexy,” as you were walking home last weekend probably

just wanted his new frat buddies to think he was funny. “That stuff usually happens when you’re in a group of people on a Saturday night...probably drunk,” says an anonymous male freshman at Brown University. “There’s definitely pressure for boys to fit this macho image.” When asked if the objective was to appear masculine in front of friends or the girl being catcalled, our Brown informant immediately responded “No, no, in front of your friends. You don’t even really care what the girl thinks. A guy would never catcall a girl he was actually interested in dating.” This type of on-campus catcaller doesn’t want to get a rise out of you, and he doesn’t actually want “take you home, sexy.” He is simply trying to fit in with his friends.

Dealing with being objectified by a man can cause a lot of feelings that are hard to place. But ultimately, it is not our responsibility as women to be the platforms for men to get an ego boost or look good in front of their friends. We shouldn’t have to be taught how to “deal with” being jeered in a better way or how to dress less provocatively. Instead, we should encourage men to come to grips with the anxiety, insecurity and virulent dynamics with his friends when it comes to how to court women. Here’s a bit of advice when you are feeling like you are stuck against a wall when a man begins making catcalls: It doesn’t matter how you react because chances are, what is behind the catcall is his problem. He doesn’t know you or deserve you anyway. 

jaye

because college is more than the classroom

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Relax! Lifestyle Made Easy

Party-Planning With Oliver Williams

throw a soiree attendees will be talking about well into the new year with a few ideas from hosting know-it-all and founder of the snarky lifestyle blog anorexic escapades by michael jones

ife is about elevation,” says style expert Oliver Williams, who earlier this year birthed the blog, Anorexic Escapades, a compelling blend of style, grooming, cooking, and entertaining wisdom delivered with Williams’s brash point-of-view and no-holdsbarred panache. The blogosphere is saturated with “poor people telling other poor people how to be rich,” explains the 26-year-old Dallas native, who now resides in Wichita, Kansas, “and I wanted to create a site that explained how to live with the >>

NOVEMBER 2011 // JAYE 120

Relax! >> JAYE at Home items that the other blogs are telling you to buy.” As you scroll through the posts, you’ll find everything from dating advice and restaurant etiquette to vegetarian recipes and decorating strategies, supplemented with cleverly edited photos marked with captions in handwritten fonts, all set against a sea-blue background. “I have so much to say,” Williams explains. “I’ve had tons of experiences and I needed one place to get it all out.” The blog’s name stems from Williams’s appreciation of “all things thin.” But before you cue the eye rolls and accusations of superficiality, there’s more: “When society thinks of someone who’s anorexic, they see emaciated bodies and rib bones sticking out the side, and I like to think of my blog as the ‘bare-boned truth’ when it comes to the subjects I talk about.” Williams’s appetite for knowledge is far larger than the one he has for food and it informs the types of posts he writes on Anorexic Escapades, and his perspective is merely a reflection of his offline life. “Life is about learning; my friends will tell you Googling is a hobby—I like to know everything about everything. I love to collect information and share it with others.” Hosting get-togethers in his dashing apartment— outfitted with vintage Marilyn Monroe photos, vibrantly colored walls and plush furniture—is one of Williams’s signature ways of entertaining 122 JAYE // NOVEMBER 2011

Ask Oliver

It’s my first time planning a party. Any recommendations on when I should have it? The holidays are jam-packed with tons of office parties, cocktail events and family get-togethers, so to set the tone for the season and make sure you have optimal attendance, I think you should take a look at the calendar and see when your first party of the season is and schedule yours a week before. It’s okay to kick off the holiday season—don’t feel like you have to sandwich your events between everyone else’s.

One of Oliver’s secrets to hosting memorable parties is to create an environment that encourages guests to mingle with each other.

On why Williams enjoys hosting so much: “It feels great when you can help someone else feel great and entertaining allows me share my personality with others—plus I like to be in control!” the masses, and because of his readiness to spread the good news about all things lifestyle, we sought his know-how on party planning, which produce results whether you’re hosting your first Thanksgiving dinner or a holiday soiree: Don’t shoot for the stars. “One of the biggest mistakes hosts make is overspending,” warns Williams. If it’s your first shindig, start small and remember it’s a party, so supply your guests with light foods, festive drinks, interesting ice breakers and games. Plan accordingly. “In my experience, when you invite 50 people, 25 RSVP, and 15 show up. Don’t think a lot of people will show up, especially during the holidays.” How to handle an uninvited guest? “Don’t stress about it, and under no circumstances, should you alienate people who show up invited. You never know who that person can connect you

with and at the end of the day, parties are all about networking and mingling—the more the merrier.” Be hospitable. “Your home must be accommodating— make sure it’s clean, orderly and there’s plenty of room to move around in.” Williams also suggests organizing seats so that everyone faces each other to promote dialogue and chitchat. “And make sure you have enough seating—nobody should be standing up or sitting on plastic crates!” Spark conversation. According to Williams, there’s nothing worse than a host not being able to engage his guests, so “I make sure I watch the news, read my favorite blogs and have a sense of what’s going in the news

and entertainment world so I can participate in the various conversations that take place throughout the night.” Leave a lasting impression. “It’s great for your guests to head off with a token of your appreciation or a small goody bag.” Or if you have a spare room, Williams proposes setting up a temporary photo studio and snapping pictures of your guests and printing them out to capture the night’s memories. Other ideas include creating CDs of the party’s music playlist, designing bookmarks to aid your guests during the new semester, or meting out personalized mini wine bottle favors, all of which are relatively inexpensive but an indelible mark on your guests. 

Guest Guidelines Williams’s Rules of Partygoing Let the host offer. Don’t ask for anything that will force the party-giver to go above and beyond just for your satisfaction. Dress accordingly. If there’s a dress code, follow it. No questions asked. RSVP! It’s the first—and often most overlooked—step in being a good guest.

jaye

because college is more than the classroom

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Till We Meet Again >> November 2011

horoscope

Scorpio

Aries (March 21-April 19) This is your time to shine. This will be an interesting month for you. Use the time for discovering facets of yourself that you have forgotten or overlooked recently. You do have a softer side. You finish the month in a soft and lazy way, as this month ends and begins a new cycle for you. Taurus (April 20-May 20) You may feel a little run down this month as this time marks the passing of a cycle for you. You could feel especially introspective between the 14th and the 18th. Pressures in your employment could bring an illness or stress you into speaking your mind. This could come at a time when what you have to say may be too honest for the ears that hear it. Not saying what’s on your mind could result in you reacting with an illness, like a sore throat, so remember to be as diplomatic as possible. Gemini (May 21-June 20) Activities with your career are very pleasant this month. There will be many activities with close friends as well this month. There is a caution regarding a possible someone placing you in a compromising position regarding your value system or your money. Guard both purse and heart. Saying “no” may be the lonely way to avoid later regrets. Be watchful for a sob story that could turn into demands, as “no” leaves your lips.

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Cancer (June 21-July 22) You could feel greatly inspired this month, as you discover a deeper side to yourself. Problems and conflict could arise between the 14th and the 18th between your career, home, and mate, placing you in an awkward position. Concede on small points, but, “stand your ground.” Remember, Cancer is a Cardinal Sign. Use that strength to defend yourself. Leo (July 23-August 22) There is much activity in your money sectors this month. Waiting until the last minute to file your taxes may actually work to your advantage—this time. Good times on the 28th promote you going way overboard on the 29th. Just remember, you’re the only one who pays for your ability to say “yes” at the wrong time. Virgo (August 23September 22) Money matters come to a head between the 14th and the 18th. A child or a romantic interest could place you in a very interesting position where you may be required to make a choice. This could affect your happiness for some time to come, so choose wisely. The remainder of November will pass with renewed interest in your employment. Take time to read-up on the latest techniques in your field. Libra (September 23October 22)

There is an emphasis on your partnerships during the first three weeks of this month. Pressures build and seek to be released. Release could come between the 14th and 18th, the time of the Full Moon. How you handle the situation will reflect directly in the world and you could gain or lose by how you handle the situation.

with energy. Maybe a little too much. This could put pressure on your committed relationships resulting in a showdown at the time of the Full Moon, between the 14th and the 18th. You could be accused of being self-absorbed and selfish during that time. Even with the use of soft words, you could wind-up feeling slighted and betrayed.

Scorpio (October 23November 21) Eclectic romance has your attention this month. Someone, the likes of which you have never encountered before could turned your head and your interests. This theme plays quietly through the events of the month. The remainder of November could find you eying the homestead for a home improvement project and some clean-up work.

Aquarius (January 20February 18) Pressure from behind the scenes reaches critical mass between the 14th and the 18th. You could be driving yourself too hard or allowing others to do it to you. This could result in an illness just to take you out of the game. Be cautious of what you say and whom you say it to when expressing your personal opinions at that time as well, or it could get you into trouble. But then, sometimes it may be the only way to clear the air.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) Like the other Cadent signs, Gemini, Virgo, and Pisces, your money and your love are under stress this month. Jointly held assets could come under stress during the Full Moon, 14th to the 18th, forcing you to make some decisions that could cost you in the long run. Wait it out and be patient. That way you can keep the romance and the cash. Capricorn (December 22 January 19) With Mars in your First House of Self, you could be brimming

Pisces (February 19March 20) You attract the attentions of others romantically this month. You could find some very interesting people approaching you and this could be very tempting. However, at the time of the Full Moon, 14th through the 18th, a proposal from a romantic interest could put you in an awkward position and yet at the same time provide a means and an answer to a problem you have had for some time. It’s a delicate balance. Be open and honest with them and yourself.

Courtesy of ehoroscope2011.com.

jaye

because college is more than the classroom

This space is reserved for your advertisement. Expose our readers to your products & services today! For more information, visit jayemagazine.com.

thanks for reading!

jaye

because college is more than the classroom

see you next month!