Life
After Lockdown
by Catriona Futter
PREPARING FOR CHRISTMAS IN A PANDEMIC
e d u t i t a r G
The Beauty of by Cindy Bunch
WHEN YOUR FAITH IS FACING DOUBTS THE LIFE-ALTERING IMPACT OF GOD'S WORD SERVING OTHERS: YOU CAN START WHERE YOU ARE!
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welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER
It’s hard to believe that this year like none other is almost over! If you’re like me, it can’t come soon enough. What a journey we have all been on together. As I look back over the issues of this—our 30th anniversary year—it’s my hope that you’ve felt like you’ve had a close friend sitting beside you and encouraging you as you navigate these uncertain days. When you dive into this issue, I’m trusting that every single article will breathe hope into your heart where you are needing it most, and that as you finish the last word, you’ll feel like you’ve just left a conversation with a friend who understands. For those of you who are just beginning your journey with us, Welcome! We’re so glad you’ve joined the family. I pray this is a community of women you will grow to trust and turn to when your soul is craving connection and strength for the journey. And to those who are already in our wonderful sisterhood, I trust God has been proving faithful this past year, lifting your spirits with just the right article at just the right time. By the time an issue arrives in your mailbox, between editing and proofing, I’ve read it 10 times! And every time I reread it, God ministers to my soul—that's my prayer for you as well.
In this issue, you’ll find a variety of articles. Catriona Futter’s piece, “Life After Lockdown” on page 18 will help you process what’s essential in your life moving foward. And don’t miss a favorite anniversary piece with inspiring words from women we’ve introduced you to in the past on page 20. We know there won’t be a Christmas quite like this one, so “Remember Desserts” on page 24 provides ideas to help you navigate a different kind of holiday while helping you keep your focus on Christ. We’ve been very intentional to lift your spirits and provide you with some good news, and encouraging and uplifting stories and snippets of wisdom to light your way. Jesus specialized in coming into the middle of a mess as that light in the darkness, the hope for the hopeless, and what good news that is for where our world is right now. He came into the world much like what we are experiencing—a time in history overcome with political turmoil, religious unrest, violence, terror, and warring factions. But into the mess He says loudly, “The Prince of Peace has come...” Christmas blessings from our hearts to yours,
Most importantly, I hope you have seen God's faithfulness, our word for 2020, show up in your lives in a myriad of unexpected and surprising ways as you have walked through this pandemic year.
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contents
VOLUME 31
NO. 1
features 28 Go Tell the Others
God gives each of us “Jesus stories” so we can bless others. by Joan Moss
32
Lost in Translations
Help! How do I know which Bible translation is the best one for me? by Chelsey Blake
36
From Comparison to Contentment
What if you enjoyed what you already had? by Elaine Williams
WINTER 2020
on the cover 16 Making Space for Gratitude
By paying attention to the beautiful things in your life, you will discover how gratitude leads to more gratitude. by Cindy Bunch
18 Life After Lockdown
When you consider the life you were leading
before lockdown, what is essential for your life and walk with God moving forward? by Catriona Futter
24 Remember Desserts
How are we going to celebrate Christmas this
year? Ideas to help you in this Christmas season unlike any other. by Tara Furman & Lisa T. Grimes
26 Burned Out Faith
In celebration of our 30th anniversary, we will be giving you a peek into the past in each issue this year! Look for this logo.
Five lessons to help you navigate a season of doubt and disappointment in your faith. by Laura Sandretti
30 Four Bibles
The life-altering impact of God’s Word. by Lisa Elliott
34 Serving from the Heart
You can change your world by giving your life
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away to others. Start where you are! by Elizabeth Murphy
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16
CREDITS
24
Happy Home EncouragingWORDS Between You and Me Frameable Poetry Heart to Heart
Transparent Moments
Circulation Manager Suzan Braun
Editor Shelly Esser
Renewals Manager Nancy Krull
General Manager Mary Perso
Marketing Julie Santiago
Assistant Editor Suzan Braun
Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt
Web Director Mary Ann Prasser
in every issue columns 3 Welcome from 38 Living Well the Editor Minutes 6 Between Us 39 1in5 the Word
8 9 10 11 13 14
Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe
40 42 44 46
Strengthening Your Soul Discovering the Word Mental Wholeness Between Friends
faith chats 20 Faith Coversations to Encourage You Inspiring wisdom from 30 years of JBU interviews. compiled by Shelly Esser
Editorial Assistants Carol Becwar Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Betty Hinds Cherry Hoffner Melinda Papador Jen Symmonds Danae Templeton Susan Vanselow
Subscriptions Rebecca Loesche Julie Matthews Mary Richards Lin Sebena Software Support Rebecca Loesche
Art Director Julie Krinke Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt
ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call (856) 582-0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com. SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscription Price: $19.95 per year for four issues. Outside US, add $6 per year prepaid US currency; $5 in Canada. Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through JBU. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today! Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701. Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800-260-3342. From Canada call (262) 786-6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org
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5
BETWEEN US
Forgiveness: The DoubleEdged Word
Lysa TerKeurst
D
o you ever find yourself defining life by before and after the deep hurt?
The horrific season. The shocking day of discovery. The divorce. The wrongful death so unfathomable you still can’t believe they are gone. The day your friend walked away. The hateful conversation. The remark that seems to now be branded on your soul. The day everything changed.
When I wrongly think forgiveness rises and falls on all my efforts, conjured maturity, and gentle feelings that feel real one moment and fake the next, I’ll never be able to authentically give the kind of forgiveness Jesus has given me.
Is it even possible to move on from something like this? Is it even possible to create a life that’s beautiful again?
My ability to forgive relies on leaning into what Jesus has already done, which allows His grace for me to flow freely through me (Eph. 4:7).
I deeply understand this kind of defining devastation in such a personal way.
Forgiveness isn’t an act of my determination or made possible by my cooperation.
If you know my story, you know of the shattering discovery of my husband Art’s affair and the long road of uncertainty. The four years of hellish heartbreak that followed the discovery did eventually take an unexpected turn toward reconciliation. I’m grateful, but I have not been spared the slow and grueling work of finding one’s way again after experiencing something that forever marks your life.
Cooperation is what I’ve been missing. Cooperation with what Jesus has already done makes verses like Eph. 4:32 possible.“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
When your heart has been shattered and reshaped into something that doesn’t quite feel normal inside your own chest yet, the word forgiveness feels a bit unrealistic to bring into the conversation. But friend, can I whisper something today I’m learning? Forgiveness is possible, but it won’t always feel possible. It’s a double-edged word, isn’t it?
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It’s hard to give. It’s amazing to get. But when we receive it so freely from the Lord and refuse to give it, something heavy starts to form in our souls.
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Forgiveness isn’t something hard we have the option to do or not do. Forgiveness is something hard-won that we have the opportunity to participate in. Our part in forgiveness isn’t one of desperation where we have to muscle through with gritted teeth and stay horrified by all they did. This is what I once thought forgiveness was, and after already being the one who was hurt, I couldn’t imagine having yet another process to work through.
God knew we couldn’t do it on our own. So, He made a way to grab on to Jesus’ outstretched arms. He forgives what we could never be good enough to make right. And makes a way for us to simply cooperate with His work of forgiveness…for us to receive and for us to give. That person or people—they’ve caused enough damage. And you don’t have to be held hostage by the pain. You get to decide how you’ll move forward. If you resonate with the feelings of resistance I have felt too, let me assure you: forgiveness is possible and good. Consider the possibility around this double-edged word, forgiveness. Not because your pain doesn’t matter or what they did was right. Not because it fixes everything. But because your heart is much too beautiful a place for unhealed pain. And your soul is much too deserving of freedom to stay stuck here.
Lysa TerKeurst is a mother of five and the presi-
dent of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She is the New York Times bestselling author of Uninvited, The Best Yes, Unglued, and her newest book is Forgiving What You Can't Forget (Thomas Nelson, coming in November 2020). Lysa has been published in multiple publications such as Focus on the Family, and CNN online.
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TLysaTerKeurst FLysa TerKeurst
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HAPPY HOME
Satisfaction (Not) Guaranteed
Arlene Pellicane
I
love shopping in places with excellent return policies. If I don’t like something, I can return it, no questions asked. My satisfaction is guaranteed!
Have you noticed that relationships, especially marriages, do not work this way? Your satisfaction is not guaranteed. You can’t stand in line to return your spouse or exchange an irksome quality for a better one. Some days in marriage, you feel like the luckiest woman alive. On other days you wonder, Did I really think that burping thing was funny when we were dating? The other day, we were in our morning routine with the kids. Many days, our kids ride bikes to school. James came over to the sink and started doing the dishes. I said, “I can do the dishes, you get the bikes out.” He said smugly, “I wouldn’t want you to get an allergic reaction to doing dishes.” “I do dishes every day!” I exclaimed in disbelief. “Oh, you do?” he replied coolly as he walked to the garage. The kids thought this was very funny! When my son Ethan rode off to school on his bike, he yelled back at me, “Goodbye allergic reaction!”
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While James was gone with the kids, I was fuming. Granted, I’m not a stellar housekeeper, but the only thing I actually do with consistency is dishes—that’s why I was so upset! I felt like James was making fun of my ability to keep the house clean and that he attacked my only success: an empty sink.
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When James returned, I calmly said, “I was really hurt by your comment. I dislike a lot of things around the house, but dishes aren’t one of them.” Then I gave him a word picture, because I heard that is a good communication tool. “That’s like me telling you that you have an allergic reaction to meeting with your real estate clients.” He understood and apologized. He didn’t mean to stir up so much emotion with a glib comment that I didn’t find funny at all. When you live with a person day after day, you’re bound to say something flip-
pant that you don’t really mean. The key is to apologize and begin with a clean slate often. Satisfaction in marriage isn’t guaranteed, but it can be achieved with some elbow grease and grace. The apostle Paul wrote, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Phil. 4:12). He had plenty of reasons to be dissatisfied in life. He became a missionary so that people could hear the good news of Christ. For his noble work, he experienced imprisonment, beatings, hunger, sickness, and extreme need. To top it off, the believers in Philippi had been lax in their financial support of Paul. When they finally followed through in their commitment, Paul didn’t lambaste them. He was gracious. “I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it” (Phil. 4:10). He gives them the benefit of the doubt! Imagine if your spouse forgot your birthday and you gave him an out by saying sincerely, “I’m sure you wanted to get me something, but you just didn’t have the opportunity.” Paul continues, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Phil. 4:13). In God’s strength, you can learn to adapt to disappointment and dissatisfaction experienced in marriage. Some days, your husband will fall short of your expectations. Other days, you will fall woefully short of his. Fixing your eyes on Christ as your example, you will be able to experience real, long-lasting satisfaction in your marriage—even if your husband says that you have an allergic reaction to dishes!
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of several books including Parents Rising and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has appeared on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, and FamilyLife Today, and is the host of the Happy Home Podcast. She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband James and their three children. arlenepellicane.com ArlenePellicane
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FArlenePellicaneAuthor IArlenePellicane
encouraging WORDS
GRATITUDE PRODUCES “ DEEP, ABIDING
joy
BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT GOD IS WORKING THROUGH US, EVEN THROUGH DIFFICULTIES. — Charles Stanley
”
GRATITUDE IS WHAT YOU feel. “ THANKSGIVING IS WHAT YOU do. ”
— Tim Keller
is not only a response to God in good times— “ Gratitude it’s ultimately the very will of God in hard times. Gratitude isn’t only a celebration when good things happen. It’s a declaration that God is good no matter what happens.
”
gratitude
— Ann Voskamp
GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD, FOR HE IS GOOD. “ H I S LOV E E N D U R E S FO R E V E R . ” — Psalm 136:1
REJOICE ALWAYS, “ PRAY CONTINUALLY,
give thanks
IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES;
— 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18
”
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FOR THIS IS GOD’S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS.
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BETWEEN YOU AND ME
Like an Eagle
D
Jill Briscoe
o you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Is. 40:28-31). Israel was worn down; the wind was against them. God has been with them in the past, but lately... Why hadn’t He showed up in power and might? Why hadn’t He appeared to be a very present help in times of trouble (Ps. 46:1)? What was He busy doing while His people were dying on the vine? Isaiah the prophet uses the eagle as an analogy of the One who can soar over the chronic weariness, the bleak despair, fear, and the hopelessness of life lived in impossible circumstances, like a pandemic. The secret is in “waiting on the LORD.” If there is any creature that gives us a picture of freedom, it is an eagle. No bird flies as high as this bird does—10,000 feet! It lives in the same world as we, but we poor creatures are anchored to this lost and hurting planet, while the eagle rises above it while living within it. Watch it! There is no more magnificent sight than to see an eagle flying high.
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Watch an eagle until it is a mere speck even through the strongest binoculars and then see it literally disappear from sight.
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The prophet Isaiah uses the bird as an analogy. An analogy of a believer and the living and true God—mounting up above all the things that would keep us harnessed and anchored to this poor earth. Of the power it takes to defy gravity and use the winds of the Spirit to live above the discouragements, down currents, and sorrows of life. For believers who have run out—run out of strength, out of ideas, out of solutions, out of patience, out of a job, out of words, out of friends, out of hope! The eagle never runs out of oxygen. It breathes easily while we humans gasp for spiritual air. Prayer is the oxygen of the soul. Thin air is no threat to the bird. Like the eagles that stand still and rest their wings to escape the destructive thermals that could destroy them and ride out the storms into still air, so we need to do the same and “rest in the Lord.”
“Prayer is the oxygen of the soul.”
“Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” They will soar—they will soar—they will soar! So, let’s wait on the Lord.
Then it still mounts up and up and up—above and beyond. From which it has a perspective of earth no other creature has.
Jill Briscoe was born in Liverpool, England. She has partnered with her husband in ministry for over 50 years, written more than 40 books, and traveled on every continent teaching and encouraging ministry leaders. Jill is the founder of Just Between Us. She can also be heard regularly on the worldwide media ministry called Telling the Truth. She and her husband, Stuart, live in southeast Wis.
stop
flapping
your wings
I was flapping my wings in an effort to rise Over my troubles and all my heart cries. Then an eagle soared by me in effortless grace While I’m flapping my wings and I’m red in the face! I’m exhausted with flying in the face of the storm And the blast that’s against me that’s causing me harm. Then the eagle above me that’s resting and free Shouts “quit flapping your wings and ride it like me”! Then I watched that great eagle fly up in the sky On the Spirit’s strong thermals and I heard its glad cry, “Oh Great God and Creator, I’ll go with the wind And allow all my troubles to help me ascend.” So I spread out my wings and I kept very still It was strange, but I sensed the sweet power of His will Start to lift me and carry me up and above All my troubles and tears in the power of His love. Though tempted to flap on and help him a bit It so tired me out that my soul had a fit, So I dared to let go and soar up in the sky To ‘wait on the Lord’ and let God lift me high! ©2020 Jill Briscoe
✃ Clip along dotted line for an 8x10 inch print—perfect for framing!
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HEART TO HEART
Deposits of Blessings
O
Joni Eareckson Tada
n a windy November afternoon, our family sat down for Thanksgiving dinner. During the meal, we took turns sharing things for which we were grateful. When it was my nephew’s turn, he smiled nervously, stared at his lap, and shrugged his shoulders. He couldn’t think of anything to be thankful for. It made me think: what if we ran out of uses for the phrase “thank you”? Suppose that during this special season, you had no cause for gratitude? What if there were no bounty of food? No new children born into the family, no graduates going off to college? No healing of your aunt or uncle who had cancer? No bonus or promotion at work? No new conversions at camp last summer? What if there were no deposits of blessings in the bank of our lives? It would make for a very bleak picture! Most of us can’t imagine such a season, because we are aware that God makes blessing deposits in our lives all the time, which elicit a happy “God is good” or a joyful “I really feel blessed.” We balance the checkbook of life at various times during the year—especially at Thanksgiving. We look at our “blessing” bank account, see the positive bottom line, and make a withdrawal of gratitude to God. What happens when positive deposits cease? What happens when they are replaced with catastrophes, such as the current struggle with coronavirus? Many people turn to self-pity or bemoaning their hardships, but there’s a better response. Think of Paul and Silas singing praise to God while in prison (Acts 16:25). Even David had his Shepherd to guide him through the “valley of the shadow of death” (Ps. 23:4). Naomi had her Ruth to comfort her in her loneliness, and Abraham had his ram in the thicket near Mount Moriah’s altar (Ruth 1:16; Gen. 22:13). These people not only knew God, but also believed this simple truth: “All I need, I already have.”
“All I need, I already have.”
The litmus test of real contentment is asking, “Am I prepared to lose what I have?” Despite Job’s agony, he declared, “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him” (Job 13:15). Job was prepared to believe, even to the point of death. When I think of the future, I occasionally become frightened. I know that my good health won’t last forever. My calling is not only to abandon my future wants, but to trust in God and hand over what I already possess. Truly you and I have lots in our bank of blessings! Were we to embrace this truth this Thanksgiving season, imagine what glory there would be in heaven. Our gratitude would rise to the throne and our Father would stand and declare of us as He did of Job: “Have you considered my servants? For there are none like them on earth” (Job 1:8). With that divine declaration, I imagine all the angels running to the bank to make withdrawals of that priceless currency, saying together, “Hallelujah!”
joniandfriends.org
%response@joniandfriends.org
winter 2020
Joni Eareckson Tada, the founder of Joni and Friends, is an advocate for people with disabilities. She has delivered over 100,000 wheelchairs and Bibles to disabled people in developing nations. Her daily devotional, A Spectacle of Glory, contains fresh biblical insights from her battle with cancer and chronic pain. She and her husband, Ken, live in Calabasas, Calif.
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That simple phrase is not just Christian “talk;” it is the basis for deep and lasting contentment, the kind the apostle Paul learned (Phil. 4:11). How did he learn it? Perhaps by asking questions like the ones I constantly ask myself. Questions like...
“What do I have?” I don’t have use of my hands, legs, or the sense of touch to feel my husband’s embrace. But I have a voice, a wheelchair, and a man who loves me. That is all I need, according to my Lord. If there were anything more I needed, God would give it to me. He would not create my life with any lack; it would be unworthy of His good and generous character.
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TRANSPARENT MOMENTS
Being Sure When You’re Unsure
F
Anita Carman
or security reasons, Inspire Women headquarters has a master key to our doors that can’t be replicated without our locksmith’s master template. Only those authorized can request duplicates of our key. Someone on staff kept insisting I needed to put her name on that list so I finally went with her to the locksmith only to find out that her name was already there. What an illustration of how we often wait for permission to act with authority when we have already been granted authority. God called us to subdue the earth. The plan can change depending on the resistance we are experiencing but our end mission stays the same. How do we move with certainty and authority in the midst of change? In Gen. 12:1 the Lord had said to Abraham, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” Like Abraham, you may need to leave behind your neighborhood, an organization, or relationships that have been part of your life for many years. What Abraham had was God’s commitment to “go to the land I will show you.”
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Don’t focus on the little “I” in you which will cause you to feel like a boat in a vast ocean. Focus on the big bold “I” in God and know that you have the Master of the Universe walking with you. He has already granted you the authority to move forward.
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Jesus said to us in Matt. 28:19-20: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Go where? Go for how long? God wasn’t specific. What He did say was “I am with you always.” There’s that big bold “I” again. That sounds very much like what God said to Abraham. We have a commitment from God that wherever He’s taking us, we can count on Him as our pillar relationship.
The certainty God wants us to have is to be sure of Him. One reason God wants us to be sure of Him is because He knows our brain needs certainty. God even designed certainty in our world, which I call sacred rhythms. One sacred rhythm is how the sun rises and sets. Another sacred rhythm is the four seasons. Ecclesiastes 1:5 says, “The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.” Leviticus 26:4 says, “I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees of the field their fruit.” The design God put in the world, and the certainty embodied in it, is a reflection of His own attributes. When I was dating my husband, what impressed me when I visited his home for the first time was how clean and tidy it was. There was no clutter. When you opened his refrigerator everything had its place. The home he created was a reflection of his character and how he lived his life. He is very methodical. He has a process.
“The certainty God wants us to have is to be sure of Him.” In the same way, the sacred rhythms God designed into His world tells me something about God’s character. He is a God we can be sure of to act with holy and just character. He is a God who finishes what He begins. He is a God of perfect timing. It is those sure qualities in God that give me courage during times when life feels uncertain.
Anita Carman is the founder and president of Inspire Women, an organization that inspires women across ethnicities, denominations, and economic levels to discover God's purpose. It also funds biblical resources and scholarships to train women for missions and ministry. She has an MBA from Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. inspirewomen.org
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“With over forty years of marriage racked up myself, I can testify that this book casts a clear and hopeful vision for marriage in the second half of life. Read it and run into the future of your marriage!”
ELISA MORGAN,
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cohost of Discover the Word and president emerita of MOPS International
Making Space for Gratitude
3 ways to notice the beauty around you by Cindy Bunch
I
offered to cook the bacon so that Dan and I could start working. We were both working remotely from a warm and sunny spot in Palm Springs—a privilege we are grateful that our employers allowed. My parents had an unused timeshare week available, so we were housed at a nice resort. The bacon cooked up nicely, but the smoke set off the kitchen alarm. We were on Central time but I knew our neighbors were likely enjoying a Pacific time morning in their beds at five o’clock. So I grabbed the pan and set it outside the front door. We proceeded to open the windows and air the place out. Then the doorbell rang. The two security officers asked if we were okay. “Yes,” I said with my pre-coffee eloquence. “Bacon.” “Bacon?” said the security officer. “Yes, bacon,” I repeated, and he left. My pan was no longer smoking, so I leaned down to pick it up. Stuck. I pulled harder. It came off with a patch of welcome mat firmly attached to the bottom.
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So my lovely day in Palm Springs started with scrubbing and scraping the welcome mat off the new-looking frying pan at the timeshare, and wondering whether we were going to be charged for the welcome mat’s new indentation.
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Some days are like this. Of course, they are not supposed to be the days away in a sunny location. Where would the day go from here? I wondered. In this case, I had only goodness ahead. Sun. Time to walk. An early dinner. Watching the sun set on the balcony. But on a regular day with commuting and coworkers and pressures coming from every direction—well, the kitchen alarm could have easily taken me down.
For those of us in Western culture who live in privilege, it can be easy to lose sight of the big picture when we get a traffic ticket or lose a credit card. How can we get back on track when everyday mishaps distract us from our plans and goals for the day? For me, paying attention to the tiny spots of beauty that are also at hand pulls me out of the “bad day” funk.
Notice Small Things
It’s nice to think about those days that don’t include a smoke alarm going off. The movie night with friends. The easy summer Saturday that ends with a glass of wine on the porch. On days like that, the first thing I want to write down is what brought me joy. Sometimes when I start writing, I notice more than one spot of joy and find myself writing a series of gratitudes. These are the days when it feels easy to connect with God and others. They are the days that seem to be filled with grace. Gratitude leads to more gratitude. Writing down a moment of joy is leading me to notice more beauty. My friend Christy Buckner Foster messaged on Facebook: “Post beautiful things, please.” I eagerly clicked on the thread. There I saw the following: • a happy cat and dog reunited after four months apart • a moonscape and a sunset • a canoe on the water filled with flowers • beaches • happy babies • horses • more cats We long for these moments of beauty after days filled with fake news and bad news but not nearly enough good news. And the Good News is that God is near. Stopping to savor these moments gives us the opportunity to stay connected with God all day long. How can we bring more awareness of beauty into our lives? Beauty can be found in the small things, in the details, like the tiny hummingbird Dan noticed on our hike later on the day-of-the-smoke-alarm. Because he drew my attention to the one bird, then we were on the lookout. And we saw another and another. Each moment was one of connection between us and gratitude for this tiny, amazing creature of God’s creation.
I also regularly rotate the startup and lock screen pictures on my computer. There’s a great one of my dad with our three kids. We went at Christmas and saw him in his men’s chorus, so he’s wearing his chorus vest. The kids said, “We came to see Grandpa’s concert,” which seemed like a fun reversal of the usual grandparentgrandchild dynamic. Dad is wearing his red chorus vest and everyone is laughing over something. The tiny hummingbird Dan pointed out on the hill above Palm Springs is a new favorite. Swiping past these pictures as I open the phone to pull up an app at the grocery store brings me back to these memories and gratitude for the moments of joy.
Practice Photographic Evidence
Put a picture of a moment that represents a beautiful gift where you will see it often. When you see your picture again, offer a little word of thanks for that past happiness, and let that reminder open up a space of gratitude for you. Gratitude leads to more gratitude once we’ve gotten ourselves into a grateful mental space.
Get Outside
“You need to get outside. It’s a beautiful day.” I heard this from my mom fairly often in the summer. I was an unathletic bookworm as a child and teenager. Actually, I’m still an unathletic bookworm. My brother would go down the street to play basketball on a summer day and come home sweating and dripping to look for food. Mom would send him to the patio to drip or to the shower if he wanted to enter the house. He would repeat this process about four times a day. I was happy reading a Nancy Drew mystery in our cool basement family room. But somewhere along the way I did discover that Mom was right (as usual). Though you won’t find me playing basketball, I have learned that I also love being outside. I love nature. I love walks. I’m learning to identify birds. I love gardening. Over time, I have discovered practices like these that have helped me embrace the things that bring me awareness of God’s very good gifts. As we learn new ways of dealing with the moments of difficulty in each day, we make space for the moments of joy and beauty to take greater hold of us.
Adapted from Be Kind To Yourself by Cindy Bunch. Copyright ©2020 by Cynthia Bunch. Published by InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL. www.ivpress.com.
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You can cultivate awareness of beauty within your own community by sharing moments of beauty with one another, just as my friend did. You can text images of beauty from your own life and talk about them with the people around you. Even when our posts don’t go viral, we honor the gifts in our noticing. I purchased a simple free app that allows me to add a quote to my own image and share that image on Instagram. In contrast to the extremes of either creating a false social media
Connect with God in the Glorious Moments
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Practice Moments of Beauty
persona or ignoring real world events, we can put a little joy out into the social media world and see what joy comes back our way.
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Life
AFTER LOCKDOWN
WHAT IS ESSENTIAL FOR YOU?
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by Catriona Futter
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he year 2020 will forever be associated with the global COVID-19 pandemic. Whatever your life was like at the beginning of this year, those strange and surreal months in the spring and summer of lockdown and recovery will have had a profound impact. When you consider the life you were living before lockdown, how content were you with it? How purpose-full and fulfilling was your life? A friend of mine observed that the global pandemic was an unwelcome interruption to the lives that we had created for ourselves and were quite happy with. How might God be challenging you as you consider that?
A PURPOSE-FULL LIFE
As lockdown eased and our world moved into recovery, there was much talk about “essential” services and what could be resumed when. What would you name as essential for your life and your walk with God? We are now approaching the end of this extraordinary year. Life will be busy again, but to what extent have normal services resumed for you? How much of your pre-lockdown life have you picked back up? Lockdown brought about the sudden and dramatic stop of much of what kept us busy and where we gained our identity. When all of that was stripped away, what was left? What did you miss? What did you not miss?
This season is an extraordinary opportunity to engage deeply with what God is showing us about ourselves and what is most important to us. How were you living before, and why were you doing what you were doing? For me, central to living a purpose-full and intentional life is living in tune with my values.
IDENTIFY YOUR VALUES
Our values, reflecting what matters most to us, were brought into sharp focus by the pandemic. We would all list many things that we say are important. Boil that list down into five or six core values—the central passions that motivate us, provide a road map for our lives, and form the basis of our decisions. Our core values are the foundational beliefs that anchor our lives—the basis of our character, attitudes, actions, ethics, and personal beliefs. They are often deeply ingrained assumptions that we have picked up from early influences. We are not always conscious of what they are or how they shape us—which is why emerging from lockdown presents such a startling opportunity to explore this further. There are challenges here, too. Living according to our values can be costly when those values conflict with those close to us. When our values are unmet or neglected, or we compromise them, stress and anxiety can result, as we try to live what is essentially a false life. How do we identify our core values? A good place to start is to think back to when you were a child. Consider what qualities were true of you then. Think, too, about characteristics that you displayed at times when you were at your best. What are things people cannot stop you from doing? What did you learn about your life during lockdown? Ask those who know you well to describe you. What will they say matters to you most based on how you live your life? Then, try to condense all that you learn into five or six key words that sum up your core values.
HOW WILL YOU SPEND YOUR TIME?
Maybe one of your core values is family—yet in pre-lockdown, much of your time was spent with work. What boundaries can you put in place around your work now to free up more time with those who are most precious to you? Did you rediscover a love of creativity during lockdown, which you identify as one of your core values? What changes can you make to your daily and weekly activities to include more time for creative pursuits? Is hospitality a core value and yet, before lockdown, you were out of the habit of inviting people into your home? What does it mean for you to reconnect with this essential part of you and open your home and heart to others? Encouragement, service, learning, communication, justice—whatever your core values—take some time with God to prayerfully consider how He wants you to express these essential elements of who He made you to be. Seek Him as you bring your core values into line with His ultimate value system, the fruit of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Gal. 5:23).
MOVING FORWARD
Understanding our core values and all we learned about what is essential to us gives us an extraordinary opportunity to rewrite the script to our lives. It helps us to humbly open ourselves to what God has stripped away that was not of Him. Together with His Spirit, we can make choices based on His priorities. In keeping with what we value most—the essentials—we can build a stronger foundation that will anchor us to Him for whatever is next.
Catriona Futter is a Christian life coach and speaker who runs her own business, Equip for Life Coaching, offering individual coaching, team coaching, and speaking. She lives in Glasgow, Scotland, with her husband and two teenage daughters.
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Perhaps you took up journaling to process all the emotions that were flooding through you, and, in so doing, discovered a rich way to have a conversation with God and hear from Him. How can you make this an ongoing part of your life now?
WHAT WILL YOU PRIORITIZE?
Our reflections on life during lockdown allow us to reconsider our priorities for this next season in terms of family, work, friends, faith, church, and community.
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As we become clearer on what matters to us most, we are then in a strong position to make intentional decisions about how we use our time and energies in this new season. This is an opportunity to consider what spiritual practices and rhythms best help us engage with God. Consider the time you had during lockdown, when there was so much fear and uncertainty, but also perhaps more space. What did you find helpful to sustain you spiritually, and how can you continue that now?
Maybe you discovered a renewed connection with nature—the clarity of air, the volume of birdsong, the spring flowers that continued to flourish each day, living out their purpose and praising their Creator by their very presence. Maybe on your daily walk you rediscovered a joy in seeing God’s hand through creation and a way to converse with Him. Did the wonders of creation bring a sense of perspective to life that enabled you to remain grounded in this moment rather than being fearful about the next? You can choose to commit to incorporate this practice into your day.
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Faith Conversations to Encourage You
Inspiring wisdom from 30 years of JBU interviews. compiled by Shelly Esser
J
ust Between Us has always been about telling the stories of real women. Through the women who have graced our pages, you have taken trips around the world, received lessons from their heartbreak, and been inspired by their courage, faith, and heart for God and others wherever He has placed them. They have worked in the inner cities, prisons, medical field, education; they are prayer warriors, Bible teachers, radio hosts, women’s ministry leaders, and missionaries. They are ordinary women—like you! What an incredible privilege it’s been to share theirfaith stories with you over the last 30 years.
Travel b ack with us as we from som revisit sn e of our ippets from the faith con past. Let versatio ns th e se wome all over a n inspire gain—ju st as the you y did wh first pub en we lished th eir storie s.
FALL 2013
Jennie Allen Anything
JBU: What needs are you seeing in women today? What keeps them from a place of really giving their all to God? Jennie: I see a few big needs. One is a sense of purpose. We recognize we’re not here long and want to spend our lives in the way God has ordained for us. We have a great vision, but we are so busy with work, kids, travel...it’s difficult to pull away from life and think about our gifts and purposes and passions and how we should be spending our time. I think women need a space to dream about their purpose.
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Women also need community—a safe, caring community that provides freedom and grace to wrestle with the Word of God. Women need a safe space with friends who offer grace—a place where they are not being judged. A place where they are able to process doubts and fears. It’s in that struggle that we truly build our relationship with Christ.
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Women are also starving for theology. They want to understand the Bible’s depth of who God is. They’re saying, “Don’t hold back, bring it! Even if it’s hard, even if I need to wrestle with it I want it. Because this helps deepen my understanding and brings me closer to God.”
faith CHATS SUMMER 2014
Laura Story
Mercies in Disguise JBU: What do you think worship does for the soul especially during hard times? Laura: Music in and of itself is such a great memory tool. That’s why we put the alphabet to music to teach our kids. And I think no matter what age you are the same holds true. I need the truth of who God is and the promises that are steadfast stuck in my head as anchors for my soul. Especially on one of those days when you wake up thinking, “I don’t know if I can get out of bed,” you push play on your iPod, and hopefully those songs are enough to encourage you to take that first step even though you feel hopeless. I heard a long time ago that we don’t worship because we feel like worshipping, we worship because God— no matter what season of life we’re in—is no less worthy of our praises, and so when we worship with that effort we find it does something for our soul. Worship is a faith step. It’s saying, “I’m going to believe this to be true about God even though my life is chaos right now.” WINTER 2012
Jill Briscoe Christmas to Go
JBU: How can we keep from letting the commercialism of the season steal away the true meaning for us and our families? Jill: When I turned 50, I decided to simplify Christmas and keep the real meaning by not buying any new gifts for people. Instead, I decided to give loved ones and friends what I call “heritage gifts.” I decided to start giving away things that were meaningful to others like jewelry, family keepsakes, etc. One year, I gave my daughter my dining room set and it’s been so neat to go over to her house and sit at the table and see her family enjoying it. Other ideas could be Bibles that you’ve made personal notes in, journals, or family recipes. We’ve even encouraged the children and grandchildren to start doing this. This type of giving helps us to take the focus off of purchasing a lot more stuff that we don’t need to passing on things with meaning. FALL 2012
Katie DavisMajors Extraordinary Love
JBU: How do we figure out God’s plan for our lives? betweenus ȷust ȷustbetween us
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Katie: Every day we have a choice. We can stay nestled in our safe comfortable places, or we can take a risk, do something to help someone else, or make a person smile. Each one of us was ultimately created by the same God to do the same thing, but it doesn’t look the same. It may be in a foreign land or it may be in your backyard, but we were each created to change the world for someone. To serve someone. To love someone the way Christ first loved us. Some days it will be excruciatingly difficult, but the blessings far outweigh the hardships.
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SUMMER 2016
Sharon Garlough Brown Drawing Near to God’s Heart
JBU: What discipline have you found helpful recently? Sharon: The spiritual discipline of celebration is one that I’m very deliberate about practicing. When I practice this discipline, I celebrate the goodness of God and the love of God that has already been lavished on me. To help me practice celebration, I was challenged to choose a color in autumn and every time I saw the color to be reminded of how much God loves me. I thought, “I can do that but I am not going to make it easy. No red, orange, yellow, green, or brown. I choose purple.” I spent all autumn being totally amazed by purple. I would see a flash of purple out of the corner of my eye, like wildflowers on the side of the road, and immediately my heart would rejoice in celebration. The Lord loves me! The Lord delights in me! It has taken practice, but it has been soul-forming for me. I was good at being serious and not good at celebrating.
WINTER 2017
Annie Downs Looking for Lovely
JBU: How do we develop a habit of looking for lovely? Annie: It’s something you develop and choose to do. Try being purposeful and giving thanks for at least one thing a day. Tell yourself, “I’m not going to bed until I find something that made this life better or easier or happier.” Or at every meal, notice something that’s good, kind, or beautiful. Looking for lovely is a habit you build for yourself, with your community, family, and friends.
SPRING 2018
Sarah Beckman Loving People Well
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JBU: In coming alongside others, you talk about the importance of listening.
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Sarah: Yes, listening without trying to fix and not trying to offer advice or compare your story. When there are no words, let there be no words. There isn’t anything you can say to fix it, and when we try to fill that space with words, we end up hurting when we mean to be helping. If Jesus is in you, you take Him wherever you go—even if you don’t utter a syllable. Often our presence can shine His light even more than our words, so just sitting with someone and praying quietly to yourself is the best thing you can do. Presence is powerful. It says, “I’m here for you. I’m with you.”
SUMMER 2018
Melva Henderson Making a Difference JBU: How can mothers and grandmothers influence their children and grandchildren in the faith?
POIGNANT WOMEN’S FICTION f rom ELIZABETH MUSSER
Melva: Through consistency in their own walk with God. We often say, “Faith is better caught than taught.” If what we have in our personal relationship with God doesn’t translate to something our children can tangibly see and experience, then they won’t buy into it. Nothing is more powerful than having my children watch me walk through difficult times knowing only God could have brought me through. And although many children take paths opposite of their upbringing, when moms and grandmothers are consistently walking the walk and talking the talk, it leaves a mark on them that not even the world can erase.
Desperate to mend her marriage and herself, Abbie Bartholomew walks the famed Camino pilgrimage. There she is called into a deep soul-searching that threatens all her best laid plans. SPRING 2016
Angela Yuan Out of a Far Country JBU: Tell us about your prayer closet.
—SHARON GARLOUGH BROWN, author of the Sensible Shoes series
The Promised Land November 2020
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A division of Baker Publishing Group bethanyhouse.com Purchase your copy today at your favorite book retailer, bethanyhouse.com, or by calling 1-866-241-6733
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Angela: Every day in the morning before I go to work, I spend time in my prayer closet, which is a shower room in our home. We converted it. The other day a friend said, “Did you watch the movie, War Room? The closet is just like yours.” The producer of that movie was in our home and he took pictures of my closet. I go to my prayer closet before I even walk out of my bedroom in the morning, because I want to focus on Jesus instead of focusing on something else. So the first thing I do daily is go into my prayer closet to study God’s Word and pray. I will go in there, sometimes to cry or sometimes to sing. It really is my sanctuary. My prayer closet is the place where I can hear God’s voice and where I keep hope alive.
“Musser expertly navigates the complex landscape of loss while pointing the way to redemption and hope.”
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remember desserts Preparing our hearts and homes for Christmas. by Tara Furman and Lisa T. Grimes
d
oes anyone think this is a strange title for an article? Nobody needs to tell us twice about desserts, especially this Christmas! We feel like we’ve been eating more desserts than ever during these past few months of being at home.
Did you ever notice what desserts spelled backwards is? Stressed. All too often, that’s where we find ourselves during the holidays. And lately, where we seem to find ourselves much of the time.
When Christ’s birth is prophesied, one of His names is “Prince of Peace” (Is. 9:6). Wouldn’t it be wonderful to experience peace during this 2020 Christmas season? For many, Christmas time can be hectic. It’s full of long to-do lists—decorating, shopping for ‘perfect’ gifts, baking, entertaining—not leaving room for the peace we so desperately need! And especially now—there's the added stress of “How are we going to celebrate Christmas this year?” lurking in our minds.
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Can we do the things we want to do and still have that sense of peace? Yes! Let’s look at a few practical ways we can prepare our hearts and homes for Christmas. So back to D.E.S.S.E.R.T.S...
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D
o Focus on what needs to be done, versus all you think should get done. Many things might be fun, if you have time, but if doing them steals your joy, then they need to be off the list this year.
Do use your gifts for His glory. We aren’t all given the gift of hospitality, but we can all be hospitable. If you’re having people over, they are more interested in spending time with you not seeing your home as decked out as your neighbors. It’s about fellowship and celebrating Christ’s birth. Dim the lights and remember that candles are your friends—they hide dust and fragrance the home. Or perhaps if there's not snow where you live, it's gathering on the front lawn with a neighbor, hot cocoa in hand. Do give yourself permission to make Christmas time special. Don’t skip or shorten your quiet times, thinking “I’m too busy.” When we think we don’t have time, that’s when we most need our quiet times! Don’t succumb to the pressure to meet perceived expectations—from others or yourself. We can’t please everyone, so let’s set appropriate boundaries and focus on pleasing Jesus. After all, He is the One we’re celebrating!
Experiment. A few ideas to get you started: dangle
a few ornaments or snowflakes from your dining room light fixture or a doorway with clear fishing line, hang stockings from bedposts, or put three small ornaments and a candle in a glass dish with greenery. Our Christmas trees are like trips down memory lane; we mix our kids’ homemade ornaments with new glittery angels. We hang colored balls with ornaments from places we’ve visited, seashells, my Aunt's brooches, you name it. While we are spending more time at home this year, it's a great time to make homemade decorations like gingerbread people.
We always place a manger scene under our tree, so we are constantly reminded of the greatest gift of all—Jesus! Experimenting also works with food. Leftover sweet potatoes combined with pancake mix make for a mouth-watering delight the next morning! Some great soups result from combining leftovers, too.
S
tay Simple with decorating and meals. There’s nothing wrong with store-bought food—just transfer it to a cute platter! Make your dining table look festive by using tablecloths with a few old scarves for color. Paper plates and napkins are fine. The key formula to note here is: Difficult + Time-Consuming ≠ Better. Simple is the way to go with food, combining store-bought and homemade items saves time and mixes things up a bit. For homemade options, choose five-or-less-ingredient recipes that can be prepared in advance—olive cheese balls and ham/cream cheese/okra spirals are always hits. (Search Google for some of these recipes.)
Salvage the old and make it new again with a
couple simple techniques. Spray paint items silver or gold, or add glitter—this can especially be done with pinecones and seashells—and voila, you have new tree ornaments. Use them in a different place, like on the mantle or in a vase; sometimes just moving things around makes them seem fresh.
E
ncourage Others. God gives us opportunities to sow simple, yet powerful seeds of truth and encouragement into the hearts of the people around us. We all have a story. Christmas gives us a chance to encourage others with the gospel and the reality of Jesus in our everyday lives. People tend to be more open to spiritual truths during this season. So whether it's via a text or card, look for ways to mention Jesus.
and prepare food in advance. Keep an appetizer handy in case you're able to get together with another family. We’re better able to keep our focus on the real meaning of Christmas when we aren’t in a tizzy.
Trade "to do" lists with a friend. If she likes to cook and not decorate, offer to decorate her tree while she fixes dinner or makes some cookies for your family. Since a traditional neighborhood cookie swap might not work this year, how about creating a porch cookie swap? You can coordinate with neighbors or family to leave filled cookie tins on assigned porches at a specific time for all who want to participate. Then everyone still gets to enjoy goodies!
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avor our Savior. If we allow our hearts to be distracted and our attention focused on the activities of Christmas—or the lack thereof this year—it’s easy to become impatient, frustrated, or overwhelmed. As much as we love this season, these things will never fill our cups to overflowing. As we make time to read and study our Bibles, God will refresh our spirits and replenish our weary and disappointed hearts. As a result, when we are faced with challenges or challenging people, His sweet Spirit will enable us to see those friends or relatives through His eyes of love, allowing us to extend His love and grace. Time spent with God each day will profoundly affect our hearts, attitudes, and behaviors. Everyone around us will be impacted for the better! When you’re stressed this Christmas season, remember desserts—and maybe eat one too! We wish we could share it with you (especially if it’s dark chocolate)!
Tara Furman is the Founder and President of Knowing God Ministries.
Excerpts were taken from Tara and Lisa’s book, 25 Days of Christmas for Your Heart and Home: Lessons from Mary, Joseph and Making Your “Stable” More Inviting. ©2019 by Tara Furman with Lisa T. Grimes. Used with permission.
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Lisa T. Grimes is a Managing Director of
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Habergeon, LLC and co-author of Remember Who YOU Are. Tara and Lisa both reside in North Carolina.
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Be a good listener when you see a neighbor or talk with a friend. Look for an open door to briefly share what God has done in your present or past circumstances. Even if the response is not what you had hoped, God’s Word never returns void. God will faithfully bring that conversation back to that person’s mind in the future when they are ready to respond to truth.
Reduce Stress by planning ahead. Decorate early
Burned Out Faith
What I learned from Moses during my faith struggle. by Laura Sandretti
F
ive years ago, I began struggling with doubt. I wondered if God loved me, if His Word was reliable, and if my life was different because I followed Him. Although many people battle these questions, I did so while attending seminary, teaching at women’s conferences, and serving on staff at a large church—after I had walked with God for twenty years. What do we do when we aren’t sure if following Christ is worth the effort? What do we do when we have walked with Christ for years but are frustrated and confused? Moses had similar struggles. Despite his obedience and love for the Lord, Moses faced resistance, hostility, and the appearance that God was not holding up His end of the bargain. What can we learn from Moses about how to handle disappointment in our faith?
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1. Be Honest
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In Exodus 5, Moses left everything to obey God’s call to free the Israelites. When they became enraged with Moses’ leadership, Moses honestly asked God, “LORD, why have you brought trouble upon this people?” He complained, “…you have not rescued your people at all” (Ex. 5:22-23). During times of doubt and frustration, we must pray ugly, raw, honest prayers.
When God brought an orphaned teenage boy into our lives three years ago, He also brought strife to my marriage, family, and calendar. I had never been so upset with God. My attempts to obey led only to obstacles and hardships. When I was honest about my anger, God revealed difficult heart and faith issues that I needed to confront to grow. Why? Because being honest is for us, not God.
2. Be Reminded
After Moses’ lament to the Lord, God does not apologize. In fact, God acknowledges Moses by seemingly ignoring his complaints. When we are struggling in our faith, although we want explanations and pity, what we need is what God gave Moses in Exodus 6. We need to be reminded of God’s power (vs. 1-2), history (vs. 3-4), compassion (vs. 5a), and faithfulness (vs. 5b) in our lives. When I was most burned out, I felt least like reading my Bible. Yet, when we are most disillusioned with God, we can least afford to forget who He is. Although I was frequently frustrated with God, most days, out of habit or for lack of anywhere else to turn, I still read my Bible. I had my first panic attack around age five and most of my life was plagued with severe anxiety. In my sea-
son of faith disillusionment, Scripture reminded me of something I had forgotten—the peace and confidence God gave me when I was crippled with fear (Ps. 40). When my feelings overshadow truth, I need God’s Word to remind me of His nature.
3. Be Made Small
In Ex. 6:6-8, the Lord says, “I will…” six times. He tells Moses what Moses forgot: it is the Lord who will do what He has purposed. It is the Lord who will bring the Israelites out of Egypt, not Moses. It is the Lord who will redeem them and be their God, not Moses. Moses is humbled before a mighty God who doesn’t need Moses to accomplish His plans. A lesson I had to learn and relearn during my five-year ride of burnout was that of humility. God taught me how big He is and how small I am. God revealed to me that I had become so focused on what I needed to do and how hard I was trying that I had minimized who He was and what He had done on the cross. One morning after unjustly berating my daughter, I was overcome with guilt after dropping her off and driving to (where else) church. After two decades of parenting, teaching hundreds of women about the Lord, and attending seminary, I was still an impatient mom with anger issues. At church, I mouthed empty words to the song about Christ’s forgiveness. The Spirit asked me, “Which is it? Do you believe that I died for your poor choices yesterday, today, and tomorrow, or are your mistakes bigger than the cross?” Matt Chandler says, “God is not in love with some future version of you. It’s not you tomorrow that He loves and delights in. It’s not you when you get your act together…. If you believe that Christ’s love for you is a future love for you, then you dismiss the cross of Christ.” It is humbling to accept Christ’s grace and forgiveness when you keep messing up. It is humbling to realize that we make God’s grace smaller than our mistakes. It is humbling and incredibly powerful to believe more deeply that Christ knows me fully and still loves me unconditionally. How do we learn to be small? Stop reading the Bible to create a checklist of do’s and don’ts—read solely to discover who God is. When I stopped making everything about me and made it about God instead, I found that I was less frustrated, disappointed, and burned out.
Or did He? Several days later, a Spirit-inspired question came: What if, just because I asked, the Spirit was there? What if, in the tears and angst of those hours, the words I spoke were His? What if, whether it felt like it or not, when God’s Word speaks, it’s true? Being uncomfortable challenges the depths of our beliefs about God and moves them from abstract, cerebral beliefs to ones we know in our core to be true.
5. Be Honest… Again
In Ex. 6:12, Moses complains to God that the Israelites won’t listen to him, so why would Pharaoh? He honestly feels he is not the right choice for this monumental assignment. We often find ourselves in that place too. Despite God’s faithfulness, we doubt and grumble. The reality of our faith struggles is that they will continue as long as we do, on this side of eternity. R.C. Sproul said, “We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life— those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength.” What do we do when faith is hard, and we are tired? We wait and learn. But rest assured, weary traveler, what He teaches us in the valley is more intimate, worthwhile, and profoundly sweeter than any lesson learned on the mountaintop.
Laura Sandretti is a speaker, author,
and blogger, and has a master’s degree in Theological Studies from Trinity Evangelical School. Additionally she has authored two books: Imperfectly Perfect: A Devotional for the Transformed Everyday Sinner and Walking by the Homeless (available on Amazon). Laura and her husband have three children and live in Sussex, Wis. Visit her blog, Everyday Sinner, at laurasandretti.com.
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When God asked Moses to talk to the Israelites and they “do not listen to him because of their discouragement and cruel bondage,” God immediately tells Moses to talk to Pharaoh (Ex. 6:9-10). When Moses is feeling illequipped and unsuccessful, God asks him to do something bigger and more uncomfortable.
When God allowed me to reconnect with a longtime friend who had come out as a lesbian, I prayed for twenty minutes on my way to meet her. We were studying the Bible together and although I love her deeply, it was difficult to answer her many questions about the Bible and homosexuality. I prayed Rom. 8:26 and asked the Spirit to give me words, wisdom, and love, but still our three-hour meeting ended in tears and frustration. I left angry at God for not answering my prayers. I was trying to be obedient and reliant on Him, and He didn’t show up.
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4. Be Uncomfortable
My five years of faith burnout taught me that being uncomfortable is part of following Christ. One of the reasons we get burned out after following Christ for many years is because He wants to take us deeper. Being uncomfortable in Jesus’ name helps us do just that.
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Go Tell the Others…
Letting God use your Jesus stories. by Joan Moss
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y hands trembled as I stood at the podium and looked out at the large gathering of women waiting for me to speak. How did I get here? I asked myself. During our small group Bible study a few weeks earlier, the leader overheard me say, “I’ll never be afraid again.” Our lesson that day had prodded me to tell my story about caring for our daughter Robin during her last year of life with cancer. That year, my trust in Jesus was all that held me up and kept me sane. He had already seen me through the loss of Sara, our youngest daughter, to cancer two years earlier. In the anguish of having to say goodbye to my girls, He had clearly proven that no matter what else happened in my life, He would not let me down. He would be there—I trusted that.
He Will Prepare Your Heart
“Joan, you must share your story—can we schedule you to give the devotion next month?” As I accepted our leader’s request, I tried not to think of what it meant. Each session began with prayer and a devotion in the main sanctuary, where all the participants gathered. To me, the women who gave the devotions each week were the powerhouses of the program. They were wise, accomplished, and inspiring. That day all I could do was take a deep breath, open my mouth, and begin. When I finished, many grateful hugs confirmed that what I had shared with those women was something of value. Once again, God had not let me down.
Later, I read Jill Briscoe’s book, A Little Pot of Oil, which speaks to our feelings of inadequacy when faced with the need to witness and share our story. She writes, We expect God to pour in before we start pouring out…to pour in courage before we take action…to pour in strength and inspiration before we obey Him…but it doesn’t work that way. We first have to be obedient to the Holy Spirit. The Lord doesn’t say “I will fill your mouth first and then open it” but “open your mouth wide and then I will fill it” (Ps. 81:10). I knew that this is what had happened in the sanctuary that day. The Holy Spirit first prepared my heart, then He filled my mouth. Soon I realized that Jill’s words were also influencing me to speak in another way. She had recently visited our South Texas church as the keynote conference speaker and, while there, she picked up the pro-life leaflet that I had written. She read it, then turned to her hostess, and commented, “Tell this woman she needs to write more.”
Being Purpose-full in Pain
From a random pile on the desk, my handwritten notes from the Psalms beckoned. The Psalms had become my daily haven for answers, understanding, and comfort during my long season of grief. In time, those notes became my first book, Blessings for a Grieving Mother. It still amazes me that from the encouragement I’ve received from God, this little devotional emerged to touch others with His message of hope and new life.
Blessings can be found and given in both the hearing and telling of stories. After Sara left, my heart ached over my two grandchildren, now motherless at ages eight and twelve. I wanted desperately to tell them stories about their mom. But because we didn’t live nearby, I decided to make a book for them with stories of Sara as a girl, before they knew her. Her siblings and I wrote out our memories—often humorous—in a big scrapbook with photos, mementos, and Bible verses, and gave it to Sara’s children. This act of storytelling has hopefully been a comfort and connection for them, but for those of us who wrote it the experience was certainly blessed, allowing us to pour out our love for this amazing person of ours. All of us, in looking back over our lives, can see many times when Jesus brought His saving grace. These are our “Jesus stories” which He gives us to bless others. We have become walking proof of His faithfulness—wounded healers who carry with us His wisdom, His tender heart, and His Spirit—that same Holy Spirit who will nudge us when our story needs to be told. For each of us a specific purpose has been ordained— our own personalized way of taking Jesus to the world. He will use our gifts and open doors—we only need to walk through them. As we keep looking back and up, we will find and treasure those stories as our special messages, our gifts to others. Then we can step out in faith and watch what God can do!
We think of Mary Magdalene at the tomb, and how Jesus entrusted to her the message of His Resurrection, saying “Go tell the others” (John 20:17). So also, He sends us out with the Good News that He lives. In our many painful losses, He gives us something important to do, a story that needs to be told. Psalm 40:10 proclaims, “I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly.” This psalm shifts our focus away from our sorrow and toward telling others about His blessings. When we turn to Him, the Lord graces us with new understanding and we are compelled to share that He is enough. He is sufficient to meet our needs when the pit is deep and the suffering long.
As we tell our stories, we pray that they will become part of someone else’s survival guide. Perhaps, during the upcoming holiday gatherings, one of our Jesus stories will open the heart of a loved one who needs Him. This is our ministry, to go out and find others who are lost and point them to Jesus…so we can help walk each other home.
Joan Moss
winter 2020
is a lifelong educator, at home in various classrooms. She has published a devotional, Blessings for a Grieving Mother, and From Fairy Tale to Tragedy, plus several magazine and web articles. A graduate of the State University of New York at Buffalo and the University of New Mexico, she and her husband live in Albuquerque, N.M.
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This was especially true in the life of my daughter Robin, who shared Jesus with everyone she met. She always began with a simple question, “Who is Jesus to you?” She would then find a way to tell her story. We heard the results of her prodding in the tributes of many friends at her memorial service. They told of entire families finding Jesus because of that one question.
“Blessings can be found and given in both the hearing and telling of stories.”
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Four Bibles I’ve owned four Bibles.
E
ach of my four Bibles has helped me to explore invaluable truth, uncover unchartered territory, and guide me into the heart of God as I’ve navigated His unfolding will for my life.
The first is a paraphrase that guided me through my
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early years after I gave my heart to Jesus. It was a ver-
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sion that I could understand in my everyday language. It answered my many questions and spoke life into my eager heart.
The life-altering impact of God’s Word. by Lisa Elliott
My second Bible was given to me by my husband
during our dating days and carried me through three years of life as a new pastor’s wife and young mom.
I got my third when we began ministry at our second
church, providing a clean slate for a fresh start. Since
that ended up being a difficult period in life and ministry, it was severely marked up, battered, and bruised— much like my state at the time.
I eventually purchased my fourth when I recognized
that it was not only time to turn a new page in my life, it was also time for a Bible with larger print!
The Road Map for Life
I marked the same passages in another Bible during a time of ministry challenge, and yet another during significant loss—validating, inviting, assuring, inspiring, chastising, and instilling peace, joy, life, and hope into my weary and broken soul. The words spoke into my heart of hearts with groaning I couldn’t put into words of my own (Rom. 8:19-27).
You’re bound to come across simple artwork that includes stick mountain ranges indicating Jesus heading for the hills to spend time alone with His Father. I made sketches of lips prompting me to watch my mouth, and I drew hearts reminding me both of God’s rich love toward me and the importance of guarding my heart: “...for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45).
I can’t say that God’s Word has left a deep impression on my heart every single time I’ve opened it. I’ve learned that’s okay and still important. It’s good enough to eat food even if I’m not hungry and exercise my body even if I don’t feel like it (1 Pet. 2:2). I’ve not always been enlightened when I read through endless genealogy lists in Numbers and Matthew, the policies and procedures for the care of the Temple in Leviticus, or the measurements of Noah’s ark in Genesis, but through the years I’ve learned to appreciate the reason that those kinds of details have been included. Meaningless at first glance, they show God’s attention to detail and have shown me that if He’s concerned about those minute details, He is much more concerned with the details of my life. “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they” (Matt. 6:26, see also Jer. 1:5; Ps. 139:1; Is. 43:1)?
If you opened any of my four Bibles, you’d find the road map to my life. Events, dates, places, and even some names are noted throughout. Multi-colored highlights mark up the pages. You’d see underlines, squiggly lines, stars, hearts, and smiley faces—even the odd sermon outline.
My children’s handiwork is scribbled here and there when they got their little hands on my Bible. The odd goopy fingerprint reminds me of my primary ministry: them. Wrinkles mark where tearstains became markers of God’s probing into the inner recesses of my heart. Pages naturally open to promises I need to continually claim. Pennies are pasted to remind me of God’s faithful provision. There’s a copy of the Bridge to Life taped on the inside cover of one of them—handy for sharing the Good News with others—along with meaningful cards from prayerful friends. All four Bibles contain significant verses that I’ve claimed at significant times: as my children were born, as I’ve entered a new season of my life, during ministry transitions, and while facing personal challenges. They trace my spiritual journey over the last four decades of my life as a broken vessel of the Living God who continues to use my life to serve Him.
God’s Word Woven Around Your Soul
There is one common thread: Scripture’s truth, promises, and insights have woven themselves around my soul. Words and principles have been bound around my mind, stitching the Word deeply into my innermost being, as I’ve applied it to my life in every season. I didn’t read my first Bible until a year after I invited Jesus to be my Savior. Wrestling with the validity of my newfound faith led me to doubt God’s existence. After I shared my struggle with a godly friend, she advised me to read through the Psalms. I couldn’t believe it. How did the psalmist know what I was going through?
Each of my four Bibles has helped me to explore truth and guide me into the heart of God and His will for my life over four decades of pastoral ministry. Time and time again, His Word has refreshed my soul and given me wisdom, warnings, and joy to my heart. His Word has been “...more precious than gold, than much pure gold; sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb” (Ps. 19:7-11).
Let It Read You
Scripture has impacted my life most when I’ve been open to receive it, absorb it, and apply it to my life. What’s the point of simply reading it if we can’t fully experience it. But more than that: let it read you. Give it time to absorb you. Engage in it in such a way that it activates you. And finally, free it up to apply to you: your season of life, day-to-day living, relationships, circumstances, and so much more. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16-17).
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Lisa Elliott is a speaker and awardwinning author of The Ben Ripple and Dancing in the Rain. She and her pastorhusband, David, live in Ottawa, Ontario. They have four adult children (three on earth and one in heaven), a son-in-law, and four grandchildren.
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I tore through the pages, soaking up every fiber of truth, highlighting verses that related to my life. I found validation for some of my raw emotions, as I saw it expressed in someone else’s words—that were somehow my own. I wept with the psalmist in his pains and hoped to find the hope he had as he poured out his heart so honestly. How easily and naturally he spoke to the Lord, expressing sadness, anger, disillusionment, and all the while, a deep sense of peace. I used his example as I poured out my heart to the Lord.
His Will, Wisdom, and Warnings
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Lost in Translations: Why your Bible Translation Matters by Chelsey Blake
When it comes to modern Bible translations, you likely fit into one of several categories: • You’ve stayed at a hotel and seen a Bible in the nightstand drawer, the only “translation” you’re aware of is the Holy Bible. • You attended church as a child and remember the “thees and thous” associated with the King James Version. • You know the acronyms KJV, NKJV, NIV, ESV, and… that’s about it. • You may have heard of the New American Standard Bible, New Living Translation, and The Message, but you don’t really know the difference. • You’re in the minority, but you’re well-informed of the various translations and categories. Did you know that if you were to search Google for English Bible translations, you’d find 450? Don’t let that intimidate you. Bible translations are generally divided into three categories on a continuum. Word-for-word translations are literal translations of the text. Why, then, are there so many? In some cases, such as the King James Version, the common language has changed over time and needs a refresh. There are also diverse opinions on the way that certain Hebrew and Greek words are translated within the context of certain texts.
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This category encompasses translations like the King James Version, New King James Version, New American Standard Bible, English Standard Bible, and the Amplified Bible. Translations in this category are considered to be the most accurate, and can be more challenging to read since they are typically unaltered to fit modern English grammatical patterns.
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Phrase-for-phrase translations take a slightly different approach. They are translated by context through entire thoughts or phrases. Though there are, at times, elements lost through the phrase-for-phrase translation, they are still widely accepted and considered to be mostly accurate. Popular versions in this category are the New Living Translation, Common English Bible, and New International Reader's Version. There are a few versions that blend word-for-word and phrase-for-phrase where it makes the most sense for both the translation and readability of the text. Most notable among these hybrids are: the Christian Standard Bible, the New International Version, and the New Revised Standard Version. They retain more accuracy, while also being easy-to-read.
Paraphrase translations receive a lot of flak when used as a stand-alone resource. They are a loose rendition of the text. Much of the original intent of the text may be lost to cultural references and the writing style of the translator. These translations can prove beneficial when used as a supplemental text, like a commentary. Paraphrases are often relatable with today’s audience and are more focused on the essence of the initial text, rather than the context. They make for good devotional reading, not study. There are several well-known paraphrase translations: The Message, The Living Bible, Good News Translation, and the Contemporary English Version are just a few. While some translations clearly fit a category (The Message as a paraphrase, NASB as a word-for-word/ literal), others may fall along the continuum. No two translations will be the same, just as no two authors are the same. It is essential when selecting a translation to find one that you can understand and that meets your daily needs. You may find that the word-for-word translations work best for your study Bible format, or that you enjoy a hybrid or a phrase-for-phrase translation for everyday reading. A paraphrase version can be an excellent tool when used as a supplemental text when you are having difficulty with a text. It’s possible that all three types of translations work for you in different areas. If you’re thinking, So…I either need to purchase a parallel Bible (where you can read up to four versions side by side) or I’m going to be broke buying Bibles, don’t worry. I’d suggest researching and investing in one hard-copy Bible that you will use most often and for everything else, utilize a free online resource like the YouVersion Bible app or BibleGateway.com. These resources will give you access to more than 60 English translations and even offer translations in different languages. Find the translation that has the right balance of clarity and dependability, and make an informed decision. The most important thing you can do is to equip yourself with the resources that you need to dig into Scripture. That begins by understanding why your Bible translation matters.
Chelsey Blake received both her
B.S. and M.A. from Liberty University and launched her own freelance marketing firm in 2018. She currently resides in Va., with her husband and Australian Shepherd, Bella.
A Beautiful Memoir on Love and Longing
After studying at Oxford University and finding God, CAROLYN WEBER grappled with a new invitation: to think bigger about love. Through Weber’s personal story of courtship, marriage, and parenthood, as well as spiritual, theological, and literary reflection, this memoir explores what life looks like when we choose to love God first.
“Sex and the City of God is a book like no other I’ve read. It is an artful memoir. It is a theology of the body. It is sound advice on love and marriage. . . . Carolyn Weber has set a new standard for what a Christian book can and should be: holistic, honest, and well-crafted.”
KAREN SWALLOW PRIOR, author of On Reading Well
shop ivpress.com
serving FROM THE
heart
CHANGE THE WORLD BY GIVING YOUR LIFE AWAY TO OTHERS.
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by Elizabeth Murphy
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M
y neighbor wanted her children to learn empathy and to experience a world different from their own, so she and a group of other moms made plans to serve a meal at a nearby shelter. After carefully explaining to her wide-eyed children that they would be feeding dinner to some homeless folks, she asked if they had any questions. With a fearful expression and trembling lips her son asked, “Do we have to actually put the food in their mouths?”
Learning to serve is a process. Jesus commands us to love each other deeply and to serve others as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms as He provides the strength and receives the glory (1 Pet. 4:811). Our part is to go where He would go, see what He sees, and then do what He would do. We were made to serve, but how?
A Right Heart
The Right Kind of Expectations
Follow Jesus’ example of taking on the very nature of a servant (Phil. 2:7). Be curious, listen before you speak, come to an opportunity with questions rather than answers, and be willing to submit to the authority of those in charge. Volunteerism is giving back on your terms, giving to someone; biblical service is about giving from someplace, a heart overwhelmed by gratitude for the gift of God’s undeserved grace. A right heart comes first.
My husband likes to call this the When you Give a Mouse a Cookie conversation. It’s from a children’s book where if you start with a cookie, the mouse will want milk, and then something else, and something else, and eventually it all connects.
Service to others begins with loving deeply, as The Message paraphrase says, “As if your life depended on it.” That can only happen when we reach out with the true understanding that we are all alike, bearing the image of God. “Otherness” will be a barrier to the best of intentions. A wise friend once told me to speak these words to my heart at the beginning of every day and before stepping into every act of loving service: I am like them and they are like me. But for the grace of God our roles could be reversed, and I could be the one in need.
A Right Place
The right place comes next. When trying to find a place of service, it’s always wise to assess your gifts and abilities. Be curious about yourself and unpack those various forms of God’s grace, spoken of in 1 Peter 4. What or who do you love? What grabs your attention and spurs you to action? What energizes you? Ask friends and family what they have observed about you as you go about your life and work. Most of all, pray. Ask God to guide your steps and guard your heart. Be patient; finding a fit can be a challenge. Most local churches are aware of the needs in their area so they are an excellent resource. If they don’t have a ministry to offer, they often know who does. Look for where others are already at work and begin by serving alongside them. Humbly ask what they are doing and how you can help, then be willing to do what they ask. It is so easy to bring your gifts and experiences as an offering and expect them to be received with great enthusiasm only to find weary workers who just need some help. Observe, hang out, do what they can’t, and learn. Ask questions; don’t offer suggestions or answers, but humbly approach those in authority and ask them where they have gaps. Every leader has ideas and opportunities they don’t have the time or money to make happen. Explore these together, then pace yourself. Overseers are watching to see who will stick it out—who shows up time after time; who they can count on.
Part of connecting is being vulnerable, which opens you up to disappointment, heartbreak, and let-down. No one apart from Christ is right in our sin-sick world, so the best way to handle these hurts is in prayer before the cross of Christ. In the midst of His ultimate service for us, He was disappointed and abandoned, heartbroken and scared, unappreciated and continues to be taken for granted daily. He understands and will help you learn and grow in your service as you persist, together. There is a difference between teaching someone and helping them learn. If you teach, you often carry, but if you help another learn, you can partner in walking forward together and the blessings are endless. When you lovingly serve others it magnifies your witness for Christ as your world expands. You become more interesting to other people and are informed by your own experiences rather than what the media is saying about the happenings in your community. New friendships form as you find the common ground of loving the same people or place. Marriages and families are strengthened through service. Your children may not like your church or your theology, but they can’t help but see your service, and hopefully, they will eventually seek to understand the heart behind it. Jesus tells us whatever we did for the least of these we did also for Him (Matt. 25:40), which brings a deep contentment and joy. When we approach service with both fear and trembling, and great expectancy, we experience the childlike wonder of being poured out and filled up at the same time. Our God sees our efforts, and regardless of the outcome, whispers, “ Well done good and faithful servant.”
winter 2020
Elizabeth Murphy has been a soughtafter speaker for the last 30 years. She serves on several nonprofit boards, teaches Bible studies, and is an author and regular columnist for JBU. She and her husband, Mike, have four sons and three granddaughters. They live in Brookfield, Wis. Visit her site at espeaks.net
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Service requires a steady pace, it is a marathon, not a sprint. If you overpromise on your time or availability, you will inevitably underdeliver, which is a setback for everyone, so be aware of your energy level and stage of life. Be honest with yourself and with those you serve.
The right heart and the right place need to be supported by the right kind of expectations—realistic ones. There are going to be people you mesh with immediately and those you don’t. Serve them anyway. You may have a grand plan to share the gospel of Jesus with everyone you meet and then find your words unwelcome. Share it anyway, but don’t use words. Show them as you ask about their story, then listen with love and compassion. Listen to hear, not to respond, and you will find others much more willing to listen to you when the time is right. Ask questions about their family or the work they have done in the past, almost everyone likes to tell you what they know. Connect where you can.
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Contentment From Comparison to
What if you enjoyed what you already have? By Elaine Williams
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omparison shopping is a great way to save money, since it affords the opportunity to check the difference between two or more options. I love going into Ross or T.J. Maxx and checking the price tag that gives “their price” and “our price.” Prices are marked down throughout outlet stores, but the first place I check is the clearance section. I want the lowest of the low prices!
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In shopping, comparison is good. It helps us to be good stewards of our resources. The danger lies in buying things that we don’t need just because they were such a great “deal” (too many items have ended up in the yard sale or donation pile).
Comparison gets out of control when I compare myself with those around me—when I look at other people and see what they have: popularity, beauty, talent, prestige, health, money, “things” that I don’t have, children who excel in areas that my children don’t. Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said, “Comparison is the root of inferiority.” We have all observed children opening birthday or Christmas gifts. Generally, very young children are happy with the boxes the gifts come in. As they become toddlers, usually they are happy with the gifts in the boxes. But as they get older, they become aware of siblings, neighbors, or friends, and begin looking at what they got. Whose pile is bigger?
Contentment is a learned skill—something we need to cultivate. It is a result of peace with God and the peace of God.
Unfortunately, we don’t improve as we grow older. I see “Susie” at church and think, “She sings and plays the piano and looks like she just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Poor me. I can’t do anything but work in the nursery.” That’s when I become discontent. An evangelist once said, “All sin is rooted in the incubator of discontentment.” After making a list of sins, I conceded that he was right. People become envious, selfish, dishonest, greedy, and proud because they are discontent with something or someone. Contentment does not come naturally. Think back to Adam and Eve, who had everything and no competition from others. They wanted more. They thought they could be better. They thought that God was holding out on them. They were discontented—and sin entered the world. Contentment is a learned skill—something we need to cultivate. It is a result of peace with God and the peace of God. It is possible only as we maintain an attitude of accepting everything that enters our life as coming from the hand of Him Who is too wise to err. “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Heb. 13:5). Paul said, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Phil. 4:11). He also wrote that “godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Tim. 6:6-8). As we continue down through verse 11, God instructs us to flee the temptation to be rich, to avoid the love of money, and to “pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” That’s how we learn contentment. “The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content” (Prov. 19:23).
The challenge is both to keep from feeling inferior when I see those around me who have more things, a better position, or better health, and to avoid the sin of pride as I see those who don’t measure up to my ideal standard.
As I seek to find a balance, I try to cultivate these habits: Attitude of Gratitude
First, I work to develop an attitude of gratitude and realize that contentment is not the fulfillment of my desires, but the realization of what I already have. The secret of contentment is in knowing how to enjoy what I have and letting go of the desire for things beyond my reach.
Compassion
Another antidote for chasing away discontentment is compassion. As I attempt to focus on the needs of the less fortunate, rather than feeling sorry for myself because my parents and children live hours away, I consider those people who have no children or whose parents are no longer living. Life is all about perspective. Someone once said, “I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street I met a man who had no feet.” There will always be people who have more than we do, are more talented, and who seem to have it all together. Our responsibility is to develop and use the gifts that God has entrusted to us. As we grow more in God’s Word and become more like Him, we will grow in our contentment and discover it is ultimately found in His love, grace, and mercy.
winter 2020
Elaine Williams has served in children’s ministry for many years. For the last 10 years, she has worked alongside her husband at Calvary Baptist Church in Mieadville, Penn. Elaine has written nine gospel tracts along with devotional books. She has three married children and nine grandchildren.
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Not only is comparison the root of inferiority, it is also the root of pride. I see “Jane” at church wearing a wrinkled blouse that is missing a button; her children misbehave during the service and her husband’s grammar usage is atrocious. Pride creeps in, and I stand a little taller because my family is there when the doors are open, my children bring their Bibles and behave properly in church, and my husband is well-educated. Pride
is one of those “invisible” sins that others might not see, but the Bible has much to say about it (Prov. 16:5). “Haughty eyes and a proud heart—the unplowed field of the wicked—produce sin” (Prov. 21:4).
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LIVING WELL
Not Knowing is Stressful by Gail Goolsby
W
ill the year 2020 go down in history as one of the most stressful times around the world? Like you, I have heard various versions of the following confession of anxiety and fear for many months. “My part-time job ended during this COVID craziness. I wake up in the night feeling anxious about the future. What about school health safety and academic continuity for my children? What if I get sick? I don’t even know how to pray!” Bad news fills our social media feeds and daily reports on our phones and televisions. Anxiety and full-blown panic bubble up in our minds and bodies, as we worry about tomorrow. There seems to be no escape. God set eternity in our hearts (Eccl. 3:11) as a blessing and a curse, because though we are driven beyond today, we cannot know the beginning to the end. Our hunger to demystify our future is natural and God-given, but humanly impossible. Growing in Knowing Given our desire to know what is coming next, we can appreciate the books authored by the apostle John. To stabilize new believers in his day, he says repeatedly that the purpose of his letters is so that we would know the truth about Jesus, that God loves them, that they will be like Him, and more.
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John commonly uses two forms of to know in the Greek language, ginosko and oido. Whereas oido relates to knowing information—facts or the ways things are in the natural world—ginosko refers to knowing through personal experience or relationship. The difference is like this: We may know (oido) someone’s name at first introduction, but we come to know (ginosko) them over time and through continued encounters in a much deeper way.
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We start out knowing about God and His Son Jesus through stories and historical accounts in the Bible and other books. But the knowing that we gain by walking through life with God is what brings the
Gail Goolsby,
trust and faith responses that we need to survive the troubles of this world. Our relationship grows and gives us confidence: God is still with us, caring for us, and providing what we need. The Jesus I Know I lived overseas in Kabul, Afghanistan for seven years. I faced a reboot on many levels when coming back. Due to a difficult departure from a difficult place where I held high-level responsibilities, I needed focused renewal. I started counseling and debriefing retreats for overseas workers. For several weeks, I followed up these efforts with long-time friends and spiritual mentors, meeting to talk and pray through reflective questions. These exercises helped me assimilate the pain and growth of the Kabul years and recall what I knew (ginosko) about Jesus’ love for me. Practically Speaking As a counselor and life coach for many years, I recognize the challenge of transitions and the anxiety created by an unknown future. Waiting and not knowing is hard. COVID restrictions and isolation are hard. What should we do when anxiety and panic rise in the clouds of future uncertainty? Prepare wisely. Exercise your mind and body, keep healthy, sleep, get outside, and connect with selected people as possible. Tackle tasks a bit at a time. Reach out to serve in a reasonable, prayerful, balanced measure. Read and write and sit in solitude daily, allowing God to interject words of direction and encouragement. Sense His care and companionship. Share with trusted friends and consider reaching out to a mentor or life coach. Build resiliency. Believe in His faithfulness. Finally, one day, all efforts to know this earthly future will be done and our eternal future will come. Our souls will have no more questions; the mysteries will be solved. We will know and be known completely and enjoy everlasting peace in His presence.
MA, MEd, ACC has over 25 years of educational experience, including teaching in the K-12 American school in Afghanistan detailed in her book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul. As a counselor and ICF certified life coach, Gail believes there is support and encouragement in God’s Word to help us all learn to live well. She and her pastor-husband have been married 41 years and have three grown children, two sons-in-law, and three granddaughters. They live in Wichita, Kan.
gailgoolsby.com
% gail.goolsby@gmail.com F Gail Wettstone Goolsby T Gail Goolsby
15
minutes in the
WORD Finding God By Dorie Etrheim
faithful
in Your Friendships
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can do it myself, Grandma!” I smiled as I watched my granddaughter pedal her bike so fast to keep up with her friend. They are “besties” sharing each other’s clothes, shoes, food; they love being together! When one is sad, the other is there to cheer her up.
Digging Deeper
Who is your closest friend, your bestie? Looking back, when I have been lonely or discouraged is when I felt friendless. But the truth is, I am never alone, never without a friend. Jesus said in John 15:15 “I have called you friends.” And His final words were these, “I am with you always, even until the end of the age” (Matt 28:20).
Who poured courage and strength into Joshua in Joshua 1:1-9?
There’s an important story from the Old Testament about friendships. When Moses died, Joshua lost his mentor and possibly best friend.
What did the Lord say to Joshua?
Friend, God knows you intimately. Look up Psalm 139. Circle every occurrence of I, me, and my. Make a list of what you learn about yourself and God.
You and I are fully seen, and fully known by a faithful God who loves us with an everlasting love. When I feel discouraged, lonely, and friendless, I notice myself saying, “I can do it myself!” and I hide from God and others. But God is relentless. He faithfully provides someone to pour courage, hope, strength, and love into me. I see Jesus in those who come alongside me and they draw me back to Him. In the New Testament, four friends went to extraordinary lengths to bring their friend to Jesus. Read Mark 2:1-5. To what lengths did these four friends go?
JOHN 15:15
What is one way you can “fasten upon” the Lord?
For Your Journal God will always be your faithful friend. He will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:19)! Even before I knew the Lord, He used the words of my dad to draw me to church. While blending a family, God sent a mentor into my life. He encouraged me through a friend to share my story. All these relationships helped me become the person He intended me to be. In the same way, He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it! When God is working in your life, He uses the relationships around you, the good ones and even the difficult ones. Journal about the friendships the Lord has given you and thank Him for His faithfulness. Ask God who He is calling you to walk alongside of to demonstrate His faithfulness. Reach out this week.
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friends.
In verse 5, the original Hebrew word for “fail” or “leave” means, “slacken” or “to let fall” and in verse 6, “be strong” means, “to fasten upon.” The Lord promises to Joshua and also to you and me, I will not slacken my grip on you! Fasten upon Me!
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“I have called you
What words are repeated?
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STRENGTHENING YOUR SOUL
In Pursuit of His Presence by Melva L. Henderson
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his morning I awakened earlier than usual with a very strong pull on my heart to come before God. I thought about the days in my early teens when I rode the bus home from school. The entire way home I would gaze out the window, mumbling words of love and admiration to God. Some days, my heart would get so full of Him that once my bus stop came, I would run to the house and collapse to my knees on the floor. I didn’t have all the eloquent words or know the etiquette of prayer. I just loved God and wanted to spend my time in fellowship, communing in His presence. I imagine this was the case with Mary when she was supposed to be helping her sister, Martha, but instead was found sitting at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10:38-39). Our lives are often too busy. There’s too much going on—too much movement and too many decisions being made that were never prayed out or prayed through in the presence of God. The Father wants times of stillness in our lives—times of sitting, kneeling, and waiting because He has something He wants to say. These are the days especially to have your ear to His heart. Listen for His wisdom and instructions. Position yourself to hear and receive. He’s all-knowing and has all of the answers you need. Learn to quiet your mind and your heart. When you position yourself in the presence of God, His love overwhelms you, and you grow in your knowledge of Him. I love the Amplified translation of Eph. 3:19:
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[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!
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The thought that I could have the richest measure of God’s divine presence and a life wholly filled and flooded with God Himself blessed me. When I read this,
Melva L. Henderson
I determined that if it was possible, I would live my life in pursuit of it. Because it is written, I know with certainty that it is possible, and it’s mine for the taking. However, it doesn’t come without a price. We need to continually pursue God’s presence, and that involves a commitment of time on our part. It’s not that He’s running away from us and we are chasing after Him, but rather we are making a daily decision to enter into His presence that is available to us through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. It’s going after what is rightfully ours with all that is in us.
When you position yourself in the presence of God, His love overwhelms you, and you grow in your knowledge of Him. Continual feeding on the Word of God and spending time before Him in prayer is essential. Moses was an example of a man whose life was filled with God. In Exodus we can see that he spent an enormous amount of time in the presence of God, and as a result, his face began to shine (Ex. 34:29). Even though he didn’t recognize it, the people saw it. Moses never had to say, “I spent three hours in prayer today.” Prayer was his lifestyle, and although he never advertised it, God’s presence so inundated his life that Moses couldn’t contain it. God was literally seeping through Moses. Oh, how we should long for this! I picture our lives much like sponges filled with water. When people have a need, all they have to do is touch our lives, and God Himself will flow out, providing all they need. It was the premise that you would be in the presence of God that moved Jesus to say, “Let your light so shine, that men may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matt. 5:16). The “good works” include the time that you have spent in His presence, filling yourself with all that He is. So, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!
is an author, speaker, and regular columnist for JBU. Additionally, she is the founder of The Milwaukee Give, a humanitarian outreach, and co-founder and president of World Bible Training Institute, an accredited Bible college. She is wife to pastor Ervin, mother of five, and a grandmother.
Melvahenderson.org
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F Melva Henderson T Melva Henderson
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In a time when cultural divides are expanding, we can learn to see every human from God’s perspective instead of through the lenses of prejudice and bias. Through vivid stories from several countries, MelindaJoy Mingo celebrates the beauty of crosscultural friendships. The book includes • tips for getting past our fear, • reflection questions to help you go deeper, and • ideas for meeting others.
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DISCOVERING THE WORD
Do All Things Without Complaining by Pam Farrel
A
s youth ministers, we led a group of fifty teens on a bike trip along the ocean from Northern California to Santa Barbara. The scenery was breathtakingly beautiful, but rigorous—a series of rolling mountains that escalated higher and steeper as we rode. We knew that this might be physically challenging for most of the students, so we designed the trip’s T-shirts with a motivational motto on the back. The cyclists could see in bold print on the rider in front of them: “Nothing’s Too Tough to Make Me Complain!” That phrase summarized Paul’s command: “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Phil. 2:14-15, ESV). The best way to integrate truth is to live it out. However, while reading a verse is easy, living a verse can be hard! On that arduous bike trip, I was hot, weary, and faint, but not complaining out loud! My repeated question to my husband was, “How close are we to the finish?” With optimism, my husband Bill would reply, “Closer than we were. Perhaps it’s just around the next bend.” Then we would sing worship songs as we peddled up the endless steep grade. At the mountain peak, we paused for a majestic moment with a bird’s-eye view of the ocean stretching out, wrapping us in 180 degrees of beauty. Sweet victory!
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But my lasting inspiration from this trip was forged by a few of the students. Before one of the narrower bridges, we loaded the bikers onto the bus and their bikes into a trailer pulled by a truck. The trailer came unhooked from the truck and banged into the guard rail, sending three bikes and a couple suitcases over the rail into the Pacific Ocean—never to be seen again!
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Pam Farrel
The attitude of the three teens affected personally was stellar! They did not complain. Many adults would have caved and whined, but not these three brave hearts! One reason for their positive attitude in the face of this unexpected loss was that all the rest of the youth group swiftly rallied to meet their needs. This group of young people demonstrated the tour’s focus: “Nothing’s Too Tough to Make Me Complain.” We were all transformed by this stalwart commitment to praise instead of pout. Thou Shalt Not Whine Years after that bike tour, we began our family and vowed to raise children who could maintain a sense of strength and courage no matter what life sent their way. We hung a six-foot wooden sign in our home with, “Thou shalt not whine,” carved into it. If the boys were tempted to moan over chores, inconveniences, or minor setbacks, we just pointed to the sign. When real pressures and traumas entered their lives, we would gather as a family to pray Scripture over that son, often under that same sign. We would acknowledge feelings, process them with an attitude of faith, then stand strong on the promises of the Word. The boys took this can-do attitude into their futures. Now, they help others cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Your Uphill Journey Begin a powerful praise journal; this will help you focus on the positive God is doing in your life instead of the things that lead to complaining. Take time to reflect on God’s lessons in your own life. Note Bible verses that have carried you in the past and verses you want to study deeper. Include Bible art that inspires your journey. Look at what you can do, not what you can’t. Every day, I remind myself that as I reflect on God’s faithfulness in the past and meditate on His promises in His Word, He will give me the power to keep pedaling forward.
is the co-director of Love-Wise, author of 50+ books, and co-author of the Discovering the Bible Creative Bible Study series. Go to Love-Wise.com to download your free 30 Day Infectious Joy Bible devotional.
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Nothing is Impooible with God This uplifting 100-day devotional is perfect for women looking for hope and optimism. Each entry features a verse, an inspiring reflection, and a simple prayer to draw you closer to the Creator. God promises abundant life—even in the middle of the mess. After all, in God’s hands, all things are possible.
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MENTAL WHOLENESS
Recovering from Grief
Q: A.
by Michelle Nietert
How do we recover from the grief we’re experiencing from the coronavirus? Loss is a reality today. Every week, I sit with clients, who are women just like you, grieving the loss of jobs, people they love, and the lives they thought they would live. I lost someone I dearly loved three months ago. My parents called to let me know that my grandmother had quit eating and drinking and was getting weaker by the moment. Not only did I lose her, but because of nursing home safety, I wasn’t allowed to visit her, to hold her hand, and be there for my parents. The rest of the world has moved on, but I am still struggling with my concentration, my memory is scattered, and I’m still having really sad, low-energy days. Maybe you are experiencing similar feelings during this time of so many losses due to the coronavirus. These symptoms are completely typical for three months into the grief cycle, since the first part of grief is shock when it feels like this can’t be real. A lot of times the intense emotion doesn’t hit until three to six months into the loss. It could be even longer if you have small children to take care of or something else going on that can prevent you from taking time to grieve. We are a culture that gives three days for grief, however, in biblical times they tore their clothes, put on ashes, and took an entire year to grieve. Below are some grief recovery helps to allow God an opportunity to join us as we heal.
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• Create time and space to grieve. We cannot avoid the feelings that accompany grief. We need to give ourselves moments to connect with God and allow our real feelings to surface and be released through tears, words, and even our very breath. I love the book of Psalms because the writers continuously spill out real, unedited thoughts, and feelings to God.
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• R efrain from judging your thoughts and feelings. The Psalmists don’t get mad at themselves for being human, and neither should we. I love how the book weaves sadness and anger with the truths of who God is and how He works, creating moments of hope. Let go of a checklist of how grief “should” look. • Let your timeline for grief be your own. People continuously ask me if they are grieving right. God created each of us with unique personalities and ways of coping. Grief looks and feels different depending on the intensity of value we placed on what was lost, how traumatic or sudden the loss was, and how many other losses we are facing. Counselors describe multiple losses in a short period of time as “complicated grief,” and we can experience “anticipatory grief “ when we expect a future loss. • If you are stuck, get help. Grief makes us vulnerable to Satan’s lies about who God is, how the world works, and how we see ourselves. It’s important to stay in God’s Word and remind yourself of His truths. Many church staff will pray and listen to those walking through grief, some churches even have programs that meet the needs of grieving members like Griefshare.org, a support group offered throughout the country. • G et professional help. If you consistently don’t want to get out of bed, or you think about joining a loved one in heaven, or giving up because life seems too hard, you may need professional help. Hope deferred will make the heart, body, and mind sick. You may want to make an appointment with a Christian counselor who specializes in grief. Their presence, along with that of the Holy Spirit and an outcome-based treatment plan, can provide encouragement and baby steps to move toward embracing hope again. Most people start feeling relief from unexpected waves of grief within the first year and often report that concentration and memory dramatically improve by the end of the second year after the loss of a spouse, child, loved one, or other great losses. Be assured that your season of grief won’t last forever.
Michelle Nietert has been a professional counselor for 20 years and owns a counseling center in the Dallas area. Previously, she served as a crisis counselor for a large school district. Michelle’s goal is to provide practical biblical solutions for you by answering your questions regarding mental health.
michellenietert.com
“
“
People will say our marriage is impossible. They are right. But so is yours.
”
Laurie and Matt Krieg are in a mixed-orientation marriage:
“Let Laurie and Matt Krieg
Laurie is primarily attracted to women—and so is Matt. But as
be your trusted guides, turn
the Kriegs have learned, nothing is impossible with God—and
these unforgettable pages—and
that’s as true of their marriage as anyone else’s.
find yourself turning to see
Journey alongside them as they tell their story with vulnerability and insight, sharing what they’ve learned about how marriage is meant to point us to the love and grace of Jesus.
everything in a fresh way— turning to see the face of God.” ANN VOSKAMP, author of One Thousand Gifts
LAURIE KRIEG is a writer, speaker, and ministry leader whose mission is to teach the church how to approach sexuality with the gospel. MATT KRIEG is a licensed professional counselor and director of counseling at Caring Well Counseling. Together, Laurie and Matt host the Hole in My Heart podcast. They live with their three children in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
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BETWEEN FRIENDS
Turn Your Worries into Prayers by Shelly Esser
O
ften when I read Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything...” I think, “Really, God? Have you seen my life? Do you see the complexities of caring for an aged, widowed uncle leading to sleepless nights, and the chronic health problem my husband battles every single day, or the mounting medical bills? And, Lord, by the way, have you seen the chaos that’s going on in the world right now?” Mental health experts say one in three people are currently suffering from heightened anxiety or depression. So how are we supposed to not be anxious about anything? It feels impossible! God doesn’t ask us to do something He doesn’t equip us for. But before we can think about the how, we have to think about the Who. Unless we come to the place where we believe that God’s shoulders are big enough to carry any worry or anxiety we have, we’ll never move to a place of calm—we’ll never find victory over the anxiety that so often takes us down into the deep well of discouragement. Instead, our anxieties begin ruling our lives, tying us all up in knots, even paralyzing us at times. The very thing we crave—lasting peace— escapes us. First Peter 5:7 reminds us that we can “cast all our cares” (some translations use “anxieties”) on God because He cares for us. And He doesn’t just care for us a little bit, He cares for us a whole lot, so much so that He stretched out His arms and died for us, so we can be confident that every single thing that worries our hearts, matters to Him. But we have to believe He’s trustworthy. Once we have that settled, then we can start with our part.
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What’s our part? To “cast,” our cares on Him (there’s His big shoulders again). The word casting in the Greek means “to throw upon or place upon.” Psalm 55:22 in The Message puts it this way: “Pile your troubles on GOD’s shoulders, he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out.”
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Then we pray about “everything,” every worry, every situation that keeps us up at night and on our knees, every person we love, every health diagnosis, every heartbreak, every job challenge, every battle—every
Shelly Esser
everything! It’s the everything that often trips me up. I find that I’m doing fine for a while, and then some new anxiety hits my life and I’m back to square one. I forget that I’m to be “casting” and praying about everything instead of keeping it. When that happens, what do we need to do? Go back to the beginning because it’s often a trust issue. Do I trust God to handle my cares or don’t I? The command is to cast or pile your anxieties on God; the promise is God cares about everything you are worried about and He can be trusted to keep your anxieties so you don’t have to.
“Pile your troubles on GOD’s shoulders, he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out.” PSALM 55:22, MSG
Once we trust the Who it is that carries our worries, then we can begin releasing them through prayer. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “...but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Petition means “to keep it up, over and over again.” Whenever our worries threaten to overtake us and disturb our peace, we lean back in prayer to the One who is able to take the anxieties we are carrying onto His shoulders. Thanksgiving is that forward look of faith that thanks God before we see the answer, with the by-product being an enduring peace that will guard and protect our hearts and minds from our anxieties. God sees our weariness. He knows our burdens and He’s waiting for us to transfer the heavy load we’re carrying to Him for help, to admit that we’re unable to carry it alone. It’s up to us to decide what we’ll do with our cares, to cast or keep them. The only choice that will lighten our load is to cast them, piling them onto God’s capable shoulders.
has been the editor of Just Between Us for 30 years. Additionally, she has been involved with leading and nurturing women in Christ since college. She and her husband have four adult daughters and two sons-in-law and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.
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