Summer 2021 by Just Between Us

A Time for

F un!

by Catriona Futter

YOUR WELL-BEING MATTERS

F ait h

LEARNING TO LAMENT

in a Hostile World by Debbie W. Wilson

THE FLOW OF THE SPIRIT THROUGH YOU STAYING ON COURSE

summer 2021 | F I N D

MORE AT JUSTBETWEENUS.ORG

YOU CAN HAVE JOY WHILE YOU’RE WAITING

welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER

“While you are waiting, grow. While you are waiting, learn. While you are waiting, listen. It’s your turn to become who you’ve always wanted to be.” ANNIE F. DOWNS, author of That Sounds Fun

“This book is full of wisdom, faith, research, humor, and practical advice on what to do until it is your turn.” CHRISTINE CAINE, founder of A21 and Propel Women

This issue has been fun! As we've thought about our word for the year flourish and incorporating it throughout the issue, it's taken us down all kinds of wonderful paths. I feel like this issue is a celebration of women— you—who are helping women flourish in whatever season of life they find themselves in and whatever place God calls them to. We are not only celebrating moms at this time, but every woman in our lives who inspires us. Speaking of inspiring, you'll love meeting Diane Studer, founder of Soles For Jesus in our interview by Sarah Nielsen on page 18. She has an amazing story of what God can do when we say yes. What started out as an African mission trip turned into a nonprofit ministry halfway across the world with the most basic of things: shoes. Under His Wings Quilting story by Cheryl M. Smith on page 30 will remind you that you can have a big

And finally, I just have to mention the article, It’s Time for Fun! by Catriona Futter on page 14 to spur us on to find the fun in life and the connection between fun and flourishing—and boy do we need fun in these hard pandemic days! "Fun" says Catriona, "allows us to flourish as the beautiful, creative women we are made to be." There you have it! That's just a handful of the highlights we have put together to celebrate you— the incredible, unique woman God has created you to be—God’s special daughter. When we put our minds to it and encourage each other, there’s no telling how God will multiply our efforts and hearts for others whether in our mothering, friendships, workplaces, or hearts for the world. May you not only be inspired to flourish yourself, but be on the lookout to help the women in your life flourish too. Celebrating You!

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I hope every time the magazine comes to your mailbox, you're as excited as we are to be able to spur one another on to love and good deeds in this community of friendship. I know over the years, I have felt like I make new friends as I read articles by the women who so generously share their hearts with us.

impact by offering a simple, practical gesture of love: women sewing for women and children in a domestic violence shelter who have often been forgotten in their community. And a compilation of women’s encouragement, Flourishing Through the Seasons of Motherhood, on page 26, will give you some nuggets of encouragement to hang onto. We invited some of our staff and JBU friends to share their words of wisdom for lifting you up in the different seasons of your mothering.

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HEATHER THOMPSON DAY is associate professor of communication at Colorado Christian University and an interdenominational speaker. She runs an online community called I’m That Wife and is the author of six books, including Confessions of a Christian Wife and How to Feed the Mediavore.

We are excited to be back together again and to welcome those of you who are joining us for your very first issue! I try to imagine your faces as I select articles and then, when a new issue comes out, picture sitting across the table from you, heart to heart, as close friends who can't wait to see each other and catch up. We need other women to grow and to encourage us in those places where our hearts hurt or are struggling, or to have a good deep belly laugh and fun together! Life is always grander when we're able to share it, isn't it? I'm praying that this issue does that for you.

contents

VOLUME 31

NO. 3

on the cover 14 It’s Time for Fun!

Fun energizes us and strengthens our connections with others, it gives us opportunities to laugh, and improves our mood and well-being. by Catriona Futter

16 How to Grow Faith

SUMMER 2021

features aith chats 18 fPutting Feet on a Yes!

How Diane Studer started Soles For Jesus in one inspired moment. by Sarah Nielsen

Trust Me 24

It’s all about the One in Whom we trust. by Elizabeth Murphy

in a Hostile World

Four principles from the life of Noah. by Debbie W. Wilson

22 Well-Being by Design

A personal inventory to help you cultivate a flourishing life. by Constance B. Fink

32 Learning to Lament

Through the Seasons 26 Flourishing of Motherhood

A variety of women lift up their mothers, mom

friends, coworkers, sisters, and neighbors in their mothering journeys. compiled by Shelly Esser

Under His Wings Quilting Wrapping up the hurting with the love of Christ.

It’s the door to intimacy with God. by Lori Ann Wood

by Cheryl M. Smith

34 Downstream

None of us knows where the Spirit will work

through us. We are to focus on just doing what He calls us to do and letting Him flow through us. by Sandy Mayle

CREDITS

Now Where Do We Go? 38

in every issue columns 3 Welcome from 29 Your Story the Editor 40 Living Well 6 Between Us 15 Minutes 41 in the Word 7 Happy Home 42 Discovering the Word 8 Heart to Heart trengthening 43 SYour 9 EncouragingWORDS Soul 10 Between You and Me Outside Your 44 Front Door 11 Frameable Poetry Transparent 46 Between Friends 1 2 Moments

Administrative Specialist Sharon Vaught

General Manager Mary Perso

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Editorial Assistants Carol Becwar Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Betty Hinds Cherry Hoffner Melinda Papador Jen Symmonds Danae Templeton Susan Vanselow Art Director Julie Krinke

Marketing Julie Santiago Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt Subscriptions Greg Loesche Rebecca Loesche Julie Matthews Phil Perso Lin Sebena Photography Wayde Peronto Babboni Photography babbonis.com

Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt

ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call (856) 582-0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com. SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscription Price: $19.95 per year for four issues. Outside US, add $6 per year prepaid US currency; $5 in Canada. Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through JBU. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today! Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701.

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summer 2021

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Just Between Us is a member publication of the Evangelical Press Association.

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Editor Shelly Esser

Web Director Mary Ann Prasser

Six lessons for keeping close to Jesus.

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Circulation Manager Suzan Braun

Assistant Editor Suzan Braun

36 Staying on Course

Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

BETWEEN US

Help, My Marriage is Boring!

Lysa TerKeurst

I deeply understand this. But God has been helping me see that sitting in fresh grief can be a good cure for bitterness. This is exactly what happened during a recent funeral. My friend was young and passed away unexpectedly. This loss opened up tender places in me, and it softened the hard places. Conviction about ways my heart had gone a little off-kilter didn’t jackhammer its way through me. I just opened myself to grief. I let the weight of loss revisit me. I came out from hiding behind the unfairness of my own situation and watered my hardness with the raw tears of fresh loss. This softening was good for me. Hardened hearts have a propensity to get shattered. Soft hearts don’t break as easily. Undealt-with hurt and pain hardens like parched soil. The only way to soften it afresh is for the tears to fall free-flowing once again.

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We don’t have to have a casket at the front of the church to have a funeral. Marked moments of grief happen all around us every day. I don’t know where your own losses have caused bitterness to move into your heart, sweet friend. And if no one else in this world has been kind enough to say this, I will. I’m so, so sorry for all that’s happened to you. But your heart is much too beautiful of a place for bitterness, resentment, or unhealed pain. And today is a good day to remember that sitting with someone else in their grief may be exactly what we need to help us process our own. Pray this with me today: Father God, You know how much my heart wants to avoid grief. Help me remember You can use it to soften and till me. Let this softening in me lead to new life, new fruit, and new, beautiful beginnings. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you. Walk through a step-bystep process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended today with Lysa’s new book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. Find out more at ForgivingWhatYouCantForget.com.

Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries

and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and Uninvited. She writes from her gray farm table and lives with her family in North Carolina.

LysaTerKeurst.com LysaTerKeurst Lysa TerKeurst

He was complaining about sitting in class, playing a little dodgeball, and talking to friends. I told him if he thought that was boring, he should try paying bills, doing laundry, and enduring long work meetings. I added in mom-like fashion that, “If you are bored, it’s up to you to find something interesting to do.” Just like my son, we can easily whine and complain about the routine of married life. Same restaurants, same conversations, same television shows. Maybe you’re not trapped in a bad marriage; you just feel trapped in a boring one. You know the saying “It’s as easy as A, B, C?” Well, a bored wife can get herself into trouble as easy as E, F, G:

Escape. If you’re not satisfied with your everyday life, why not escape? Some women escape by shopping. You can shop in a store or just order things online in the comfort of your home. Or you can escape into the kitchen for some cookies, ice cream, chips, or cake. Too bad celery doesn’t provide this same escape! Fantasy. Have you noticed that steamy romance

books geared for women are becoming more popular? Men aren’t the only ones interested in fantasy in the bedroom. If a bored wife decides to spice things up with some soft porn in books or online, that fantasy life can lead to some real-life problems with your real-life husband. The only person you want to be fantasizing about is your man.

Gossip. If you don’t have a juicy life, why not make one up and talk about it? Or listen to the exciting tales of a friend’s life? Proverbs 18:7-8 says, “The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.” Thankfully, there’s a way to avoid the traps of escaping to negative habits, fantasizing about someone who’s not our husband, or gossiping. Instead of waiting for your husband to make things interesting for

you or sweep you off your feet again, why don’t you make the first move? Be intentional about serving your husband. Look at the wife described in Proverbs 31. She brings her husband good, not harm (v. 12), she works with eager hands (v. 13), and watches over the affairs of her household (v. 27). That’s just a glimpse into her many avenues of service and devotion. She is definitely not bored! Billy Graham said it so well, “Only those who want everything done for them are bored.” Be intentional about personal growth. Years ago, an older wife gave me great advice, “I think women and men need to stay interesting to themselves and pursue their own interests while looking carefully for something they can share with their spouse.” My husband James and I talk about the books we’re reading or the podcasts we’re listening to. James is much more athletic than I am, but this year we discovered rowing and although I’m still slower, at least I can fully participate! If you’re feeling bored in your marriage, what is something you can do to spice things up? It might be planning a unique night out, trying a new activity like dancing or tennis, or journaling ten things you love about your husband and reading that list to your spouse tonight. Take the words “I’m bored” out of your vocabulary. Those who have happy marriages learn how to keep boredom at bay by constantly growing. Be intentional about keeping your marriage interesting and fun. Avoid the words “I’m bored” and instead say, “I think we should try…”.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of several

books including Screen Kids, Parents Rising, and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has appeared on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, and FamilyLife Today, and is the host of the Happy Home Podcast. She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband James and their three children.

arlenepellicane.com ArlenePellicaneAuthor ArlenePellicane ArlenePellicane

F T

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In a spiritual sense, this resonates with how to turn hard bitterness into fertile soil. You don’t beat bitterness out of someone. You don’t point at and poke it out or plead with it. You soften the hardness out. And as the softening breaks up the hard ground, you then mix in perspective—the best fertilizer there is. What we’ve gone through is not wasted when it fertilizes the softened ground of our hearts, increasing the chances for new life to thrive.

One of the ways we can do this is found in Rom. 12:15 where God reminds us to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (ESV). It’s easy to assume grieving with others is simply our gift of love and compassion to them. But God can also use those tears to do a good work in us.

hen my son Ethan was in first grade, he came home from school with a sad expression. “I didn’t learn anything new. It was boring, boring, boring.”

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I learned recently about what to do if you have hardened soil that’s difficult to till. First, you start with a little water. Then you let it sit for a couple of days, so the water has time to sink below the surface. After that, you dig down about eight inches to overturn the ground below, exposing it to the surface. You then spray the overturned soil with a fine stream of water to soften the surface before raking it and adding compost. What could have been waste becomes fertilizer.

Left unattended, our hearts constantly get walked on, potentially hardening us all over again. We need to make softening and tilling a regular part of our life.

Arlene Pellicane

Softening the Hard Places in My Heart hen loss happens, bitterness wants to move in, especially when your personal feelings of loss or emptiness come because of another person’s selfishness or irresponsibility, causing something in your life to never be the same. Now, sorrow has invited a bitterness you didn’t even know you were capable of.

HAPPY HOME

encouraging WORDS

HEART TO HEART

Weaving Your Cross into a Crown

Joni Eareckson Tada

hat does it mean to flourish in Christ? What does it feel like and look like? Take it from the lady in the wheelchair who lives with chronic pain: a flourishing spiritual life is always birthed through bruising trials. I should know. Life, especially the Christian life, is hard. But you can flourish. God engineers suffering not so much to teach us something about ourselves, but about Him. If we would hold fast to God in our hardships, we would discover that suffering seals our hearts to God; affliction melts and binds us to our Savior as nothing else can. Earlier this year, I contracted COVID-19. When I was told that I had this dangerous virus, I wondered aloud, “God, is this my death sentence?” I had tried so hard to avoid it. Throughout 2020, I remained sequestered due to my fragile lungs—so the first few nights of dealing with COVID-19 felt overwhelming. Being a quadriplegic, it was so hard to breathe, especially at night in bed.

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This is what it means to flourish spiritually. This is what it looks like when suffering is perfected in your life. Is it hard? Yes. Is it impossible? Yes. But as believers, we trust a God who delights in displaying His glory by accomplishing the impossible in our lives.

—Will Graham

“I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” —Jeremiah 31:25

“You have the joy of the Lord within you, not only to REFRESH your life, but to REFRESH those around you!” —Shepherd Bushiri

“…as believers, we trust a God who delights in displaying His glory by accomplishing the impossible in our lives.”

“Silence is

refreshment

for the soul.”

—Wynonna Judd

“A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” Your Savior is not a tour guide who chaperones you through life, giving you information about suffering and sorrow. He journeys with you through the valley of darkest despair, sealing His heart to yours, binding Himself to you and strengthening His union with you. Yes, God wants you to flourish, but your joy and delight will always find its fullest expression when you lay your wounded, weary heart at the nail-scarred feet of Christ. To flourish in God means to remain there as long as He designs and to stay perfectly still under His wise and wonderful hand. For there, you will be blessed.

Joni Eareckson Tada, the founder of Joni and Friends, is an advocate for people with disabilities. She has delivered over 100,000 wheelchairs and Bibles to disabled people in developing nations. Her daily devotional, A Spectacle of Glory, contains fresh biblical insights from her battle with cancer and chronic pain. She and her husband, Ken, live in Calabasas, Calif. joniandfriends.org

% response@joniandfriends.org

—Proverbs 27:9

“When we draw near to God, our minds are refreshed and our strength renewed.” —Unknown

“Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” —Proverbs 11:25b (NLT)

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In the dark, as I lay paralyzed and in pain, I cried out, “Yes, Lord. I believe. Please help my unbelief!” In the ensuing hours, I sensed a wonderfully odd calmness: a peace about how much it might hurt or how it would end. I felt perfectly still under the hand of God. I could feel Jesus take gentle, firm possession of this strange affliction and begin to do a work in me. There in the night, and in the days following, my Savior pulled me into His shelter where I rested in the shadow of the Almighty. And I was blessed.

G.D. Watson wrote, “When the suffering soul reaches a calm, sweet carelessness, when it can inwardly smile at its own suffering and not even ask to be delivered, then it works its blessed ministry; then the cross you carry begins to weave itself into a crown. When we give our suffering over to God and sink ourselves into His will, He will make every pain work its perfect purpose in our lives.”

“It is God who fills us up. He is the One who refreshes our soul... He alone satisfies.”

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Somewhere in the fog of illness, I remembered the lessons I had learned through past afflictions. I strengthened myself in the Lord by recalling that my disability had already taught me how to carry crosses—yes, even this cross. And so, I listened for the voice of God in the night. Somewhere around 2:00 a.m., I sensed the Lord whispering, “Joni, do you believe Me, that I will never leave you or forsake you? That I am your ever-present help in this trouble? That this doubting only makes things worse? Do you believe that My grace is sufficient, whether I take you home or assign you to remain? Do you trust Me?”

refresh

For Such a Time as This!

Jill Briscoe

y husband, Stuart, is 90 and I am 86. Stuart and I had the privilege of traveling the world for church and missions for many years. Now, in these COVID-19 times, we are still on the go, still traveling, but in a different way. We are traveling through technology, reaching near and far from our house! For such a time as this, God has still given us a way to serve Him and help fulfill the Great Commission! So how can we reach our own neighborhoods and love others to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ from the confines of our home? God compels us to love and reach out to others, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). I have found one of the best ways I can love others and point them to Jesus is to pray for them. After all, all of us can go anywhere on our knees! I was reminded of the fact we can all go anywhere in the world on our knees last April when I had a phone call from my brother-in-law in the U.K. He told me the sad news that my only sibling, my dear sister, had caught COVID-19. What a shock. Shirley was older than me—in her eighties—and it was right at the start of the pandemic, so there was no way that I could go to her from the U.S. My heart was broken that I would not be able to see her again or say goodbye. I felt so helpless and in despair until I realized I was only a prayer away and I could love her from afar. The Lord reminded me of a talk I had given on prayer. “What was the title of your talk?” the Lord asked me. “Oh yes, that’s right!” I replied, “You can go anywhere on your knees.”

In 1 Cor. 13, love is described and defined by the apostle Paul. One of the characteristics of love is that it “bears all things” (1 Cor. 13:7, NKJV). The word bears can be described as a mantle or cloak—a huge warm mantle to cover, conceal, and warm the wearer. Love is like a huge heavenly blanket that runs around our weary, hurting world throwing itself over the one who needs to be loved. I could love Shirley by wrapping her in a loving blanket of prayer.

“I have found one of the best ways I can love others and point them to Jesus is to pray for them. After all, all of us can go anywhere on our knees!”

It was a month or so before my sister Shirley died, but all day I would slip away throughout the day and talk to my beloved sister. At the end of each time I said, “See you soon, dear—I love you Shirley, see you soon.” And I shall! Remember, you can go anywhere on your knees! With love, Jill

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“Yes, Jill,” I heard a still small voice say—”then go!” He said, “Remember, you can always go anywhere on your knees.”

So I did. I could love Shirley by lifting her up to our heavenly Father, asking Him to comfort her and envelope her in His love as she neared the end of her life here on earth. Praying for others is a specific way to show them God’s love.

Love my Life Away

BETWEEN YOU AND ME

I’ll love my life away And give my time to Him, Live in glad obedience Be sensitive to sin. Count the moments precious He gives to use each day, Nestle in my Father’s arms and Love my life away. I’ll love my life away Pray until I see Answers to a world in chains That needs to be set free. Live a dying life The self-surrendered way, Enduring cheerfully to the end And love my life away. Or, keep my life intact Pamper and invest In all the little luxuries My selfish self wants best. Chloroform my conscience Refuse to face the fact I’ve chosen to be self-absorbed And keep my life intact. So what’s the choice to be? To live and die for Him? Who chose to die upon the cross For selfishness and sin? Or live a dying life and give away the gold Spend myself for Kingdom things Until my life gets old? Or run the race for Jesus Until the final day, And He says: “Well done, my child, You loved your life away! ©2021 Jill Briscoe

Jill Briscoe was born in Liverpool, England. She has partnered with her husband in ministry for over 60 years, written more than 40 books, and traveled on every continent teaching and encouraging ministry leaders. Jill is the founder of Just Between Us. She can also be heard regularly on the worldwide media ministry called Telling the Truth. She and her husband, Stuart, live in southeast Wis.

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TRANSPARENT MOMENTS

N AV I G AT I N G C O M P L E X EMOTIONS FOR A LIFE OF FREEDOM

Surviving Unexpected Changes

Anita Carman

’ve often heard people say, “This was not how I expected life to turn out.” What a telling statement that has been repeated in different ways by different people in all seasons of life and across all age groups. Life the way it used to be, life the way you had imagined it, life the way you had planned it, often does not line up with life the way it unfolds. When you walk past a store that has been a landmark in your community and see the sign, “Going Out of Business,” do you cringe on the inside and fear a similar fate for your personal dreams? When the person you expected to outlive you can no longer run the race, do you feel abandoned and shaken? How do you escape from uncertainty when no one and nothing on this earth can offer you a guarantee? The Bible offers us this truth to rise above the turbulence of change: Ps. 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” What an awesome reminder that when the dust settles, God is the One Who is still standing. The key to our emotional strength is anchoring ourselves to the One Who is certain.

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He has a plan for this earth, which may not be aligned with our convenience or timing. Adjusting to God’s will may be our test to reveal what we have secretly looked to as anchors other than God. Letting go of such anchors may cause us to feel vulnerable, because losses and goodbyes have a way of rattling our equilibrium. Saying goodbye to old plans can also serve as the most exhilarating opportunity of our lives. Imagine flying with God and trusting Him to reveal the horizon as you follow. When we learn to stop looking for a plan and instead fixate our eyes on our relationship with the God who gave up His life for us, we prepare to enter the greatest love story of our lives!

This is your chance to say, I’m all in. Instead of giving God a pre-made plan to bless, I’m ready to make God Himself my plan. I simply want to be wherever He is going!” With that declaration, we can cut the umbilical cord to our dependencies and learn to soar.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by all sorts of conflicting, difficult emotions. But psychology professor and personal development coach Dr. Peace Amadi can help you navigate the complexity of your emotions and live through them in healthy ways. I don’t speak as one operating on theory or wishful thinking. I carry within me the history of God’s faithfulness through the many turbulences of my life. When I lost my mother to suicide, when I was uprooted from the city where I was born, when I was betrayed by those I considered safe friends, God was the One who held me together. He led me to my next chapter. He was doing new things, and I would have seen it sooner had I not been looking backward instead of forward. What a relief when I finally discovered that this life isn’t about me, but that I belong in a plan bigger than my own making. This revelation set me free to find peace in knowing that God wrote the plan. It was no longer up to me to come up with the perfect strategy to save the world or to fix myself.

“When we learn to stop looking for a plan and instead fixate our eyes on our relationship with the God who gave up His life for us, we prepare to enter the greatest love story of our lives!”

In the midst of constant change and turbulence, trusting in God means that I can rid myself of the burden to live in the future, and instead live one day at a time. My security is in remembering the God who carried me through my yesteryears, will carry me through today into my future years. In trusting God to lead, we no longer live by sight, but from faith to faith.

Anita Carman is the founder and president of Inspire Women, an organization that inspires women across ethnicities, denominations, and economic levels to discover God's purpose. It also funds biblical resources and scholarships to train women for missions and ministry. She has an MBA and a degree from Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. inspirewomen.org

With insights from both psychology and Scripture, this book offers you a clear plan to get your peace back and find your joy again.

“In this book you’ll find tools for acknowledging complex emotions, bringing them into the light, and welcoming God’s healing work. And you’ll discover how to move toward a fuller, more hopeful, more compassionate life.”

AMY SIMPSON, author of Troubled Minds and Anxious

Save 30% when you use promo code AMADI30 at ivpress.com. (Offer Expires July 1, 2021)

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importance of finding satisfaction in our work (2:24). There is much in the Bible about the importance of celebration, of dancing and rejoicing, feasting, and enjoying the fruits of the creation God has given us. And we know that the new creation, when Jesus returns, will be a place of “gladness and joy” (Is. 35:10) without “mourning or crying or pain” (Rev. 21:4). This is the God we believe in, and we are made in His image.

Fun helps us flourish

Having fun allows us to express a part of ourselves that can sometimes be overlooked. Doing something for fun helps us switch off work, responsibility, and engage a different part of our brains. Our brains can run free for awhile, and this helps to reduce stress, boost productivity, and inspire creativity. Fun energizes us and strengthens connections with others, gives opportunities to laugh, and improves our mood and well-being.

IT’S TIME FOR Fun is important for our souls to flourish.

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Fun, play, silliness, creativity—these usually come naturally to us as children. But when we consider all the different roles and responsibilities we have as adults, our own needs—especially to have fun—fall far down our list of priorities.

Take a moment and ask yourself what you believe about spending time on a pursuit that is purely fun and purely for you. What are you telling yourself about this? Where are those voices coming from?

But what is the cost of this?

Take one look at creation and you will see God’s sense of humor and fun. God is not an austere, severe God who is only interested in duty and service. Jesus loved a party…and He came to give us life to the full, a life that is flourishing.

How often have you told yourself that you will do something fun when you are less busy? You’ll just get through your to-do list first, or when the kids are a bit older, or once this busy period of work/volunteering/ service is over. As women, we are well-scripted to just keep going. It is all too easy to ignore warning signs of irritability, mental and emotional weariness, and the impact on our increasingly frayed and frazzled souls of not investing in ourselves.

What does God say about fun?

Proverbs 17:22 says “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” (NLT). In Philippians 4:8, we are encouraged to think not only of things that are true, noble, and pure, but also things that are lovely. In Ecclesiastes, we are reminded that there is a time to laugh and dance (3:4) and of the

So how do we rediscover having fun?

We can get so out of the habit of having fun that we simply forget how. How do we regain and rediscover what it means to have fun? Taking inspiration from those Scripture verses, take some time to consider what you find to be lovely. What brings you gladness and joy? What makes your soul rejoice and dance and your heart cheerful? And in what do you find satisfaction? Consider who you are, what you value, and what forms of outward expression allow voice to what is inside you. Consider what you would do if there were no restrictions and no one was watching. We can also gain clues from thinking back to when we were children. How did you have fun as a child? Reconnect with that inner child and pay attention to the stirrings in your soul—those dormant aspects of your personality that are brewing and building in you and simply yearning to find expression.

Fun as creativity

God is the ultimate Creator, and we are made in His image—and that makes us creative too. For me, when I am upcycling old furniture, I feel my heart and soul expand and it is pure, delicious fun. Being creative is about so much more than being able to draw. Creativity is expressed in multiple ways and what matters is what brings you enjoyment. Trying something new is a great way to shift us out of the ruts in which we can so easily become stuck. Trying out a new hobby or pursuit can expand our minds, use new parts of our brains, build confidence, develop new skills, introduce us to new people, and be a lot of fun. Perhaps there are creative pursuits that you have long wanted to try but have never found or made the time. Have a go and remember it is about fun not the end product!

Fun as nostalgia

Nostalgia is not simply a whimsical, fluffy reconnection with our past. Nostalgia reminds us of and strengthens connections and relationships, builds resilience, and brings joy as we revisit precious memories. Have a dig through some cupboards and play old board games, or look through old photographs and laugh at hairstyles through the years. Or watch films that you enjoyed as a child, or watched with your children when they were young, and revel in that simple, child-like wonder and delight. Remembering, laughing, celebrating—nostalgia can be a great way to have fun. Fun is life-giving. Fun is energizing whatever that means for you. Fun allows us to flourish as the beautiful, creative women we are made to be. Fun allows us to switch off the decision-making, responsible part of ourselves and let go. And when we let go there is space to let God—to simply be rather than do.

Catriona Futter is a Christian life coach, author, speaker, and runs her own business Equip for Life Coaching, offering individual coaching, team coaching, and speaking. She lives in Glasgow, Scotland, with her husband and one teenage daughter at home and one at university. Read more of her writing on her blog at equipforlifecoaching.com/blog/.

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And dare I say it, but there can be a real risk as Christian women that we believe any spare time we do have should be spent in service. Fun should be worthy, wholesome. Anything else is selfish, surely?

In contrast, when we are flourishing as we express the fullness of who we are with energy and fun, this version of us is much more likely to be enjoyed by those around us.

It might be a love of travel or adventure. Creativity and crafts. Dancing or some other form of physical outlet. What it is matters less than why. It is about looking at you as a whole, and identifying how God has wired you to have fun.

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hat do you do for fun? Often when I ask that of groups of women, the response is to stare at me as if I am quite mad. Fun? We don’t have time for fun!

by Catriona Futter

When we consider fun in this light, it becomes clear that fun is important for our souls to flourish. “A cheerful heart is good medicine,” as that Proverbs verse reminds us. And importantly, this is not selfish because it not only benefits us, but those around us. When we are run down, caught up in the cares of the world, and not taking the time to engage in restorative and fun activities, our broken spirits sap not only our strength but can negatively impact those around us.

Having lived through the restrictions of a global pandemic, pay attention to what you missed. What aspects of yourself were not able to be expressed and what was the impact of that?

HOW TO

GROW P

TH E LIFE O F N

IE BB

IN LE

IN A

HOSTILE WORLD O

. H A

Noah walked with God during the most corrupt era in history. Preaching repentance to obstinate people must have wearied him more than hoisting heavy logs to build the ark. If he measured his worth by the number of converts his preaching won, then Noah would have considered himself a failure. But Noah did not fail.

Do you feel inadequate for the task God has set before you? God equips those He calls. When we do God’s will in the power of the Holy Spirit, our work is never wasted. Even if we don’t see the results we pictured, if we don’t give up, a blessing will come. Half of an ark would not have saved anyone.

. Noah Submitted to God as the Boss

WILS

FOUR

FAITH

Hebrews 11:1 says faith is “the assurance of what we do not see.” When the Lord told Noah to build an ark, Noah likely had never experienced rain, much less a flood. Noah’s awe of God overrode the arguments his senses and neighbors raised. In reverence, he hammered amid scoffs and preached to an unreceptive audience. Faith supplied perseverance to what must have seemed an outlandish assignment. Noah models how to grow faith in a hostile world. Here are four principles to draw from his example: When Noah cut the first log, could he imagine a floating monstrosity that would hold his family and all those animals? It doesn’t matter if he could or not. He only had to obey God. Faith is demonstrated in obedience, not in imagination (Jas. 2:20). That applies to us, too. We don’t have to understand how God will accomplish His will. We just need to obey it. When we submit to the Lord as our boss, we simplify our lives. We have to please only Him. This doesn’t mean that others will support our decision. Noah’s neighbors mocked his work, and I can imagine Mrs. Noah pressuring him to spend more time on their “real” home. Sometimes God’s promptings defy human reasoning. He may lead us to take a lower paying job, so we can spend more time with our family. He may ask us to move to a dangerous part of the world when we’re content in our cozy cul-de-sac. When we trust God, like Noah, we will discern the true path even in the midst of conflicting advice. Keeping God first saves us from the undertow of evil. I’m sure, when the flood swept away their home and vineyards, Mrs. Noah rejoiced that her husband had followed God’s plan.

. Noah Followed the Blueprint

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Hope from the Past

Most of us associate Noah with charming depictions of an ark full of animals. Do you remember why they were on the ark? Noah walked by faith in an age of complete depravity (Gen. 6:5). He offers practical encouragement for us today.

As Noah built the ship according to God’s instructions, so we must follow God’s Word with the accuracy of an engineer following a blueprint. That means we must use our Bibles every day to measure our attitudes and lifestyles to be sure that the world hasn’t nudged us off kilter. As Bible teacher Ken Boa pointed out, if the Word doesn’t shape us by discipline, the world will shape us by default.

God created us to do good works, too (Eph. 2:10). Like Noah, we may not see the ripple effect in our lifetime. It’s better to focus on the One we serve than on what we accomplish. Only God knows the lasting fruit of our work—some fruit can’t be measured in a lifetime.

. Noah Did All the Lord Commanded

The day came when the Lord told Noah to board the ark with his family and the animals. God closed the ark door, and the destinies of those on and off the boat were decided according to their choices. The flood waters divided humankind into two groups: those on the ark and those off—the saved and the condemned. Noah reminds us that today is the day of grace. Jesus said, “As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming when no one can work” (John 9:4). The coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah (Matt. 24:37–39). On that day (if not before through death) we will see Jesus. He will reward our faithfulness. That hope should motivate us to live strong and finish well—even in a hostile world. What has God called you to do in relation to your work, family, and community? Let’s draw encouragement from Noah and get to work.

. Noah Trusted God with the Results

If, after 120 years of peddling your product, the only people who bought it were your immediate family, would you consider yourself a failure? Would you doubt your assignment if you never received one positive response to your message?

Debbie W. Wilson is a Christian

counselor and Bible teacher. Her recent book, Little Faith, Big God, uses Hebrews 11 to show reader’s how to live well and finish strong. In 1991, she and her husband Larry founded Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling, coaching, and Bible study ministry. Connect with her at debbieWwilson.com

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Just as the serpent slid into Eden and seduced Eve with his lies, predators slip into our homes, through cyberspace, and snatch the hearts of those we love. Schools mock Christian values. Workplaces indoctrinate believers to replace biblical love with political correctness. Media channels censor views that don’t agree with their agenda. Global persecution and atrocities inflicted on people of faith occur in countries all over the world and make headlines every week. People we love misunderstand our devotion to Christ.

In addition, we have a spiritual foe who browbeats us with doubts and fears. We need help—and hope. Shallow confidence collapses under such opposition, but hungry hearts dig deeper to uncover a faith overflowing with courage. Little faith in a big God blossoms into conviction to sustain us through our battles and setbacks.

Noah couldn’t save his neighbors, but he rescued his family—and us. His preaching saved only eight lives at the time, but he pleased God, earned eternal rewards, and saved future generations.

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ave you ever looked at the condition of our world and wondered how you, your children, and your grandchildren can walk with Jesus when so many evil influences surround us? The world is a hostile place for Christ-followers today (John 15:18–21).

Has God ever asked you to do something out of your skill set? Noah was probably a farmer, not a carpenter. Thankfully, Noah heeded God’s unusual call and pursued a venture he would not otherwise have attempted.

Noah’s obedience accomplished more than he could have imagined. We’re here today because Noah believed God.

faith CHATS

“…whatever you did for the least of these…you did for M A T T H E W

2 5 : 4 0

.”

Yes!

Putting Feet on a

How Diane Studer started Soles For Jesus in one inspired moment. by Sarah Nielsen

ou could say that Diane Studer is slightly obsessed with shoes—in a good way. Since 2009 Diane, her team, volunteers, and donors have gathered thousands of pairs of shoes—over 570,000 to be exact—for adults and children in Africa. Content with a great career in finance, Diane found herself starting Soles For Jesus (SFJ), based in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, after a vision God gave her during a short-term mission trip to Ethiopia.

Wayde Peronto/Babboni Photography

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As desperately needed as those shoes are, Diane will tell you that sharing the life-changing message of Jesus Christ is what motivates her most. With every gift of shoes to an African man, woman, or child, a volunteer washes the feet of the recipient and they are presented with a copy of the Gospel in their native language. A material need is met, a physical need is met, and a spiritual need is met for the person who traveled miles for a single pair of shoes—and received so much more. The greatest gift isn’t the shoes, it’s the message of eternal life in Jesus Christ. The people who come feel God’s love.”

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On the final day of their mission trip during a prayer meeting in the village pastor’s home, Diane said she had a vision—“almost like having a dream while you’re awake,” of a fire moving over the map of Africa and she knew the fire represented salvation in Jesus. She was given the verse in Matt. 25:40, “… whatever you did for the least of these … you did for Me” with the impetus to provide shoes, love, and the hope of Jesus Christ to the people of a continent in need. It all downloaded in her head within 15 minutes. “I didn’t even want to speak it out,” Diane said. “I knew my friends would say, ‘Then do it.’”

Today, Soles For Jesus is in 26 African countries, enjoying a key partnership with the mission organization, Every Home for Christ (EHC). To avoid corruption and streamline the delivery process, SFJ needed boots on the ground in Africa. EHC is already present in each of those places and knows where the needs are. “We can trust them to receive the shipments of shoes and make sure they get to people in great need. The shoes are a door opener for the people to find and know God loves them.

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On the first day of that initial mission trip, a teenage African boy stood next to Diane. He placed his bare foot next to hers and gestured that their size was the same. She had an interpreter tell the boy that she would give him her shoes at the end of the week if he would return to that exact location. He did, and Diane was there to meet him with her shoes.

Within a few weeks, the new organization named Soles For Jesus was up and running and within three months it was expanding so fast that Diane quit her finance job with the encouragement of her husband. “God led the way and honestly, I just followed. He has opened every door ever since my first yes.”

yes

Just Between Us (JBU) sat down with Diane Studer to find out more about how her is changing lives in Africa one pair of shoes at a time.

› JBU: Tell us more about the vision God gave you. Diane: It was clearly a vision for the lost to be found in Jesus. All of us had noticed the need on our trip, that children either didn’t have shoes or the ones they had were broken or the wrong size. It’s hard to comprehend that so many people in the world don’t have footwear, but it’s true. I thought about the containers of shoes my kids had outgrown in my own basement and just the excess that we have in this country. That’s when God said do something about it. So I did.

We started shoe drives, found a facility and volunteers, and within four months I went back to Africa with over 800 pairs of shoes. It’s amazing what God can do if you just say yes! I never planned on starting a non-profit organization when I came back; it’s something God did.

› JBU: What prepared you to start Soles For Jesus?

Diane: I definitely was on a journey of obedience to God. Not long before my trip, I felt led to start a Bible study with women in my neighborhood but I was hesitant, worrying, “What if they don’t get it? I can’t just move away if this does not go well.” God did an incredible thing and nine women came. That was a faith builder for sure.

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› JBU: How have you implemented prayer

in your journey? Diane: The Soles For Jesus vision came to me while our church mission group wrapped up the week in prayer. Now every SFJ staff member is involved in our prayer and devotion times and there are many stories of God’s answers. Listening to God has been key for me, so Wednesdays I work from home to spend time praying, fasting, and being quiet. Before every trip I take to Africa, I ask my children to pray for me. They look at my photos of the children from orphanages and it’s been sweet to hear them pray “for the kids who have no parents.”

› JBU: How has your family played a part in

Soles For Jesus? Diane: Four years ago, we all went to Kenya with a team and that was a huge blessing for them to experience it firsthand. My husband, who has been amazing all along this journey, usually stays home with the children when I go, so it was wonderful for them to finally see with their own eyes how SFJ works. When I started this mission, the kids were five and seven and I’d go twice a year. The hardest part of the trip is leaving them, but we want them to see that it’s important that we follow the Lord and obey, even when it’s hard.

Above Photo: Diane on a trip to bring shoes to Africa, and washing a child's feet.

Our volunteers find shoes for each person, lovingly wash their feet, and gift them with a Gospel booklet in their language. There are some powerful interactions through our interpreters. Every time we do a distribution of shoes, we also provide a big feast to fill their bellies because we want to demonstrate the love of God and we’re there to meet their needs. In return, we see emotions, tears, smiles, deep bows, and hearts wide open for salvation!

› JBU: Can you share a story with us?

Diane: So often I think of a little 82-year-old granny who worked the fields every day in the hot soil. When she received the first pair of shoes she had ever owned in her life, she said in tears, “Only a fool would say God does not exist. The Lord has blessed me in my old age.” She had the joy of the Lord as she received Jesus that day.

› JBU: What is the significance of shoes?

Diane: Most people in these areas do not have shoes, which provide health and safety. Children need shoes as a part of their school uniform and often cannot attend without them so their siblings often take turns wearing one pair. We hear them say, “Now we can all go to school!” Some jobs require employees to wear shoes and if they don’t have them, they can’t work. Those who are desperate rummage through garbage heaps without shoes, which leaves their feet vulnerable to injury or disease. Even walking along rough roads and terrain is hazardous barefoot. We were struck by just how much people wanted shoes, which are considered a prized possession.

Getting Involved with Soles For Jesus There are so many ways that you or your church or small group can get involved with Soles For Jesus. You can host a shoe drive at your work, school, church, or neighborhood, volunteer in the warehouse, become a state representative, or join a trip to Africa! One Pennsylvania businessman owns a trucking company and ships all of the shoes from his state to SFJ for free. We also greeted a retired couple from Kansas with tears in their eyes who buy shoes at garage sales all year round and drive them to Wisconsin in a U-Haul.

› JBU: Did you encounter obstacles along the way?

Diane: Our first shipment of shoes didn’t make it to our missionary, possibly they went on the black market. I said, “Lord, that didn’t work” and I was tempted to move on, but this was a key moment. I learned that we needed a partnership with an established organization and a connection with the government. I also learned to not get emotionally attached to results, but to get up from my pity party and know that often the understanding comes later. It has nothing to do with me or my ability because it is all about God. I have learned to just keep doing what He says regardless of results.

› JBU: What would you say to women who have an

idea from God that is too difficult to pursue? Diane: Today is the day to say that first yes. What is holding you back from that yes? The story of Soles For Jesus is God leading the way and us listening and following. It’s one of those examples of, Am I talented? No. Do I have a lot to offer the Lord? No. So often God will just use what He’s put in your hand. I honestly thought SFJ would be just some friends and me sending over some shoes, but isn’t this how God works? He opens a door and then another door and then another door. This endeavor felt bigger than me, and it is, because the whole story is about what God can do if we just say yes—and keep stepping through the doors that He opens. I think that’s what He desires each of our stories to be. If we can just listen and trust Him, life becomes exciting and in full color.

Sarah Nielsen is a freelance writer

and author of the book, Just Keep Going: Spiritual Encouragement from the Mom of a Troubled Teen. She hosts a website and blog at JustKeepGoingParents.com.

Shoes should be gently used or new. It’s a great way to give, for those who desire to help others, but don’t have the funds. By donating shoes, you can make an eternal difference in a person’s life. (We accept shoes of all kinds and sizes and find places to donate them if they’re not useful for Africa.) There are also so many creative ways to get involved, from our prayer team to events like our Stroll for Soles Event on June 19th. We have some great ideas on our website. Check us out at solesforjesus.org. — Diane Studer

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Long flights to Africa (30 hours door to door) did not intimidate me because we immigrated from Holland when I was a little girl and every year we’d fly to Europe. A background in the financial world was a plus in setting up the logistics of SFJ and in that job I also oversaw, hosted, and had to speak at events, which trained me for what was to come. I had a deep love for my Savior, so I had no excuse not to get started. Even with those preparations, I did not feel qualified at all but, honestly, I trusted God more than myself.

Diane: At times, I wrestled with the Lord, “Why didn’t you call a man to orchestrate this in such a culture? But the Lord answered this in Mozambique when a pastor told me the fact that I am a woman leading this ministry has a huge impact on the people there. When they ask me to speak in their churches, you can hear a pin drop and I’m sure they’re thinking, “What in the world is this girl from America doing?” I’m often in situations with all men where I need to be assertive, or I’m driving dusty trails to remote areas to share where no one visits. I think it communicates that God wants to use His daughters all around the world.

Diane: When our partner missionaries spread the word that shoes will be distributed in their village church on a certain date, the masses come. Schools shut down and people travel for miles when they hear there are free shoes. Now they know where the church is, so they can return and grow in their new faith.

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When I told my dad about my vision for Soles For Jesus, something stirred in his heart as well. He said, “wait a minute,” and pulled out an article he had saved about a business using a portion of their property for ministry and said, “When I read this article, I knew someday we’d be doing this too.” So my father allotted me warehouse space from his own business, a small office, his web designer, and volunteered to accompany me to Cape Town, South Africa, for my first contact-making connection with Every Home for Christ.

› JBU: Hesitations?

› JBU: How does it work?

NOW, THE GARDEN IS PREPPED. YOU’RE READY TO PLANT THE FLOWERS FOR THIS YEAR’S GARDEN: had a problem: I had no physical or emotional energy, and it was getting worse. The solution seemed to require more than a walk or a nap. Did I have a disease? Was I depressed? Or was this just part of getting older? I gave myself six weeks. If I didn’t see improvement by then, I would go to a doctor. After the first week, I was well on my way to restored energy. The next five weeks, I practiced what I discovered. Those weeks were probably the most significant weeks of my life.

WELL-BEING BY

DESIGN Preparing your life’s garden to flourish all year. by Constance B. Fink

I started by putting aside most relationships and involvements to confirm what was essential and what wasn’t. Once those were cleared out, I had room to start digging. It wasn’t long before I discovered a few treasures hidden under the clutter, some things that no longer belonged there, and rich, fertile soil underneath. I started dreaming about a new design for growth. With Christ’s help, I dug, pruned, and began to redesign my “flower bed” of well-being. I came up with this personal inventory to help me dig out of my low energy.

The Design Plan

1. Identify what drains your physical and emotional energy. You need to bloom, not wilt. 2. Identify areas to prune so that you can bloom more fully. 3. Take note of branches that need to be cut out at root level. They are no longer productive, even though they may have been years ago. 4. Put caution tape around holes. You need to feel safe emotionally around potential traps. 5. Learn the difference between a weed and a flower. You need to discard the weeds, so they do not strangle the flowers. 6. Confirm that the “plant food” you love is, in fact, the most nourishing. It will give you consistent healthy results. 7. Choose the flowers you want to grow. Include different colors, textures, sizes, and times of blooming to bring you joy all year.

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Choose to: • stop tripping over patterns of broken trust, disappointment, false assumptions, fear, blaming, and defensiveness. • accept who God made you and what you have to offer. • give fully and freely. • no longer be dependent on others for approval. • not allow others to define you. (For example, “Don’t feel that way,” “You should be this way,” or “Don’t be that way.”) • not shrink when faced with aggressive, so-called “strong” people; rather, speak fearlessly knowing that you have something they need; a gentle voice can be stronger, and a quiet, thoughtful response also has value. • not allow backstabbing and bullying and to turn your fear of being hurt into compassion for bullies’ insecurities. • treat yourself with honesty, attentiveness, and affirmation as you would any other friend.

THE

TIME FLOWER

Choose to: • limit your time on social media. Pull away periodically to evaluate what is needed from you as well as what is needed for you. • be focused, minimizing immediate responses to others, guarding your thoughts from distraction, and being present in the moment with all your senses. • allow yourself to be choosy about your level of service. • allow yourself the freedom to check if you have the internal resources to support someone else’s need, and if not, to step away until you have something to give.

THE

PERSONAL SPACE FLOWER

Choose to: • create enough space for what is yours and not crowd it with what belongs to others. • not allow gossip in your space even though you are empathetic and trusted. Ask, “What do you need from me? If you don’t need help to find a solution now, I will be here for you then.”

THE

MOTIVE FLOWER

THE

PERSONAL NEEDS FLOWER

THE

CONTRIBUTION FLOWER

Choose to: • identify your intent by asking a quick “Why” before you say or do anything. • clarify your motive before talking about another person: “What is the reason I am sharing this?” If it is for any reason other than problem-solving, refrain from sharing. • recognize the difference between supporting others for their own benefit instead of only meeting your need to feel valued. Choose to: • meet your approval and affirmation needs through intimate reliance on Christ so that you can give fully and freely from the abundance of His encouragement, attentiveness, respect, and kindness. • not rely on others to give you what you need, resulting in weeds of disappointment and selfishness. • protect yourself not because you’re afraid, but because your uniqueness and integrity have value. • welcome feedback to become more effective, not to gain approval. • allow time to think before continuing, whether for a brief pause or a few hours. • care for your body, making the healthy choice even if a package of Oreos is tempting. Choose to: • be confident in what you have to offer. • give freely with no expectation of response. • strive for excellence in everything. • live your truth, knowing your emotions are valid, your thoughts are valuable, and your voice is worthy of expression. • believe that the value of what you bring is not determined by whether another person accepts or notices it. • use words to build up not tear down.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

These are the flowers for my life. Your garden is different than mine—a different size with different soil, colors, textures, aromas, and a different energy to maintain. Everyone grows what they want in their way. The results look different, but the essentials to cultivate a flourishing garden are the same. Are you making the right choices to fully display God’s design for your life?

Constance B. Fink, a long-standing contributor to Just Between Us, was raised as a pastors’ kid and has a degree in psychology. She and her husband, Dave, have been involved in both full-time and lay ministries. Currently she lives in Northwest, IL.

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• Maintain a simple, fresh, intimate relationship with Christ. • Have a clear purpose. • Journal three questions a day: What bugged me today? What felt really great? What is a way to change what bugged me into an improvement? • Absorb relevant devotionals, blogs, and just-for-fun books. • Keep eating healthy and getting enough sleep. • Spend time with your pet, if you have one.

RELATIONSHIP FLOWER

Choose to invest in people who: • share a connection of mutual vulnerability and accountability. • believe you are enough. • believe the best in people. • can be trusted to have your back as you’re trusted to have theirs. • welcome and accept depth of thoughts and emotions. • keep focused on Christ’s voice and character.

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The Nourishment to Keep

THE

At first I thought that sounded like a great idea—and it worked for the woman auditioning because she got the golden ticket—but then I realized I do the same thing, and it does not work at all. I trust my gut, lean on my own understanding, lead my own life, but it usually goes terribly wrong. Yet I do it again and again. I have proven with the small choices I make every single day that I am simply not trustworthy, yet when challenged with a choice, I usually choose the wisdom of me. Why is this such an ongoing struggle when I have a God who has proven Himself trustworthy over and over for all of time? The mirror has something to do with it. When I look in the mirror, I see only my own image and forget whose image I am created in. God does not forget because He so clearly knows me—that I am made of dust (Ps. 103:14), conformed to the patterns of this world (Rom. 12:2), and sinful from the very moment my life began (Ps. 51:5). I forget the joy of my salvation and that God has given me a willing spirit to sustain me (Ps. 51:12)—yet find my heart unwilling to trust Him. I am blind to this reality most of the time. Not only do I want to control the circumstances and situations in my life—I think I can. My reflection in the mirrors of this world become my measuring tool, and I think more highly of myself than I ought. Then life inevitably becomes difficult, and I come face-to-face with the feeble faith I have put in myself—again. God alone is worthy of our trust. If we were to retrace His steps as He moved in our lives, we would see this. If we were curious enough about Him and focused on His will and His way, we would cling to this great truth with all our might. But I don’t. In praying for God’s help, He has shown me a new path toward trust that involves three things: His person, His payment, and His promises.

Trust

Trusting

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judging panel, in an effort to shore up her confidence, told her that every morning he looks in the mirror and says out loud, “Oh my gosh (he didn’t say gosh), it’s Lionel Richie!” My impression of what he said is that it gives him the confidence to step into the limelight that is his life and trust his gut that he has what it takes.

The past gives me trouble. It can be a daunting task often filled with shame and sorrow as every new lesson I learn in my faith journey leads me to a look back and regret. I say I am sorry over and over, knowing this isn’t necessary, because I know that God has forgiven me. I feel deep gratitude for that, but the struggle remains. Reflecting on this led me to a closer look at the cross and careful practical consideration of what Jesus’ death cost Him, so that I might rest in His unfailing love. He suffered completely alone so we would never have to. The scope of His suffering is beyond what we will ever experience, even in our sin-sick world. He was abandoned by God so we can believe, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deut. 31:6). How can I not trust in His truth? I saw these words on a sign recently, “Your mind will always believe everything you tell it. Feed it faith. Feed it truth. Feed it hope. Feed it with love.” I would add, “Feed it with the cross,” where we can only begin to grasp the price Jesus paid so that we could be restored to the God we can trust.

Trusting

His Promises

It becomes easier to trust God when we focus on the promises He has made throughout the Bible. One of the things I love about the Old Testament is seeing the red thread of redemption that carries all the way through the New Testament. The Bible is a book about the God Who keeps every promise He has ever made, but many died before they saw God’s promises come to fulfillment. My trust is bolstered when I remember that the Promised Land we read so much about in Exodus is not promising because of the land, but because of the God Who promised to be with the Israelites in the same way He promises to be with us now. God’s presence makes every land I inhabit—even the hard and challenging ones—filled with promise, if I remember Who is with me, and what it cost Him. My reflection looks very different when I trust my Creator and I can see His image reflected in my ever-surrendering heart.

Elizabeth Murphy has been a sought-

after speaker for the last 30 years. She serves on several nonprofit boards, teaches Bible studies, and is an author and regular columnist for JBU. She and her husband, Mike, have four sons, a daughter-in-law, and three granddaughters. They live in Brookfield, Wis. Visit her site at elizabethmurphyspeaks.com. SCAN ME

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am a fan of American Idol. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry, and sometimes I see a lesson from God as I watch these very brave souls step into the spotlight in search of their dream. A few episodes ago, one of the contestants was visibly shaking and nearly sobbing with nerves as she stepped in front of the judges. Lionel Richie, the senior member of the

by Elizabeth Murphy

When we focus on the character of God—Who He is, rather than how He works things out—it lays a foundation for trust. God does not ask us to follow what He is doing, nor does He promise us the answer to why He is. He simply asks us to follow Him. He wants us to look at Who He is while He is moving in our lives rather than the details of the movement. This happens when we work at viewing our circumstances through the lens of Who He is. And that takes effort. His ways are so much higher than ours, so we can’t fully understand His purposes should He choose to reveal them, but He promises there is one and that His grace will be sufficient for it (2 Cor. 12:9). He is unchanging so the way God was yesterday, He will be again tomorrow. His grace is sufficient in every moment, right now in the present. When we daily focus on the reality of His character, He will help us stretch our trust in Him back across our past, and forward toward the future, while relaxing in the struggles we face today.

His Payment

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It’s all about the One in Whom we trust.

His Person

Trusting

here are all kinds of moms—birth moms, foster moms, adoptive moms, spiritual moms, new moms, old moms, grand-moms...and everything in between. Some of our Just Between Us staff and friends share words of encouragement as moms who have been through all kinds of challenges. They share what they’ve found helpful to leave you feeling uplifted and inspired to carry out the calling God has given you—and to walk alongside the moms in your life.

How can you parent well in whatever season your kids are in?

Every season of parenting has something to offer us that is magnificently ordered by God. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 says, “…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” As we practice thanking God in our parenting, we begin to see His blessings more clearly regardless of whatever season we’re in— the easy and the difficult. — Colleen Townsend Evans

Motherhood can be exhausting with little time for yourself. In what ways have you encouraged an overwhelmed mom in your life?

Text her just to see how her day is going. Be patient when it takes a few hours for her response, or let her know she doesn’t have to respond. Tell her you are thinking of and praying for her. Remind her that she has God within her so she won’t fail. On my overwhelming days, I love repeating Jill Briscoe’s quote: “There is an art for leaving things undone, so that greater things can be done.” — Ashley Schmidt

What things can you do for a friend who recently lost her mom?

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compiled by Shelly Esser

How can moms get through the mothering marathon?

You need an older mom or two in your life. You need someone who has lived through sleepless nights, strong-willed two-year-olds, science projects, middle school emotions, high school angst, and college stress to add equilibrium to your enthusiasm and ardor. You need someone who has raised children from whom you can garner wisdom when the nights are short and the days are long. — Carol McLeod

— Suzan Braun

So many women want to be moms, but struggle with infertility. In what ways have you walked alongside them in their pain?

For women who struggle with infertility, Mother’s Day can be especially hard, wondering when it will be your turn to be celebrated. Loved ones of those struggling to conceive often do not know how to reach out or what to say. However, a simple “thinking of you,” “how are you doing?” or “sending you thoughts and prayers” on one of the hardest days during one’s fertility journey can mean the world. It reminds us that our heartache and feelings are valid, but we are not alone. — Katie Satula

What’s the most helpful thing you can do for a mom who is adopting?

Ask her what support she needs. Adoption programs, state laws, and now international travel restrictions vary, making each situation unique. One mom may need fundraising support, while another may need help watching other kids while she completes adoption coursework training and meets important deadlines. Whether or not she asks for it, prayer and emotional support is the best gift! Dropping off meals when they’ve brought their child home is encouraged too! — Meredith Bergersen

So many adult kids have wandered away from their faith today. What hope would you give a mom waiting for her child to come home?

God is with your wayward child no matter how far they run. When my adult son ran full-force in the wrong direction, this is what I learned: resist the urge to preach or moralize, make every effort to stay connected, and affirm your child even when you can’t affirm their choices. Only God can change a heart, but He is an expert heart-changer! “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Gal. 5:6b). — Jeri Stupar

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Through the Seasons of Motherhood

— Julie Matthews

My friend acquired an instant family of four through adoption. Single moms can never receive enough support so offer to babysit regularly, bring meals often, take the children on outings, and support her through prayer. Assist with housework, laundry, homework and, most of all, role model Christ’s love to those children so they will desire to know Him!

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Flourishing

Our grieving friends need our presence in the form of listening and gentle contact through cards and messages. We want to fix their pain and offer advice, but we’ll miss what is needed, as each loss is unique. Grief is deeply personal. All we can say is, “I am so sorry.” Our only promise is “I’m here.” Your friend will be comforted knowing she is not alone even when she cannot explain her grief.

How have you encouraged a single mom who is carrying a heavy load?

YOUR STORY What advice would you give mothers wishing for days gone by?

Let’s take off our mourning veil of grief, for days gone by, and embrace the journey we are on with our children and move through our parenting seasons with joy and God’s promises. Our lives are faced with transitions, twists, and turns. So, let’s embrace every year with our children regardless of age, stage, or season. Only second to our Savior, in Jesus Christ, our families are the greatest and most precious gift God gives us.

How can grandmothers have fun with their grandchildren?

— Susan Vernick

Sit back and enjoy this wonderful ride! Somehow grandkids seem to instinctively know how special they are to you without the responsibility of parenting them. Whether near or far, there’s so much you can do: virtual songs, storytimes, crafts, games, making cookies, hideand-seek, playing at the park, and sharing all the pics of them on your phone are favorites. It’s really all about the wonderful relationship that grows and flourishes over time.

Blending two families together can be very challenging. How would you encourage a mom in a stepfamily?

What is one of the greatest lessons you have learned as a mom?

— Ann Cook

— Ronnie Wendt

Find the enjoyment and things to celebrate in every season of your mothering and don’t do the things that belong in another season, so you can enjoy and do well the things in this season. (Other activities will always be there, your kids won’t.) It’s this newborn, this toddler, this tween, this teenager, this moment. In every season, there will always be something to celebrate and find joy in. In some seasons, you may have to look harder than others, but you will find it. — Shelly Esser

sta ge , or season.

Always respond with love and compassion. And when things get tough—and they probably will—pray! It can be discouraging to love children like you would your own and not have that love immediately returned. Hang tight and give it time. Love takes time to grow. In the meantime, treasure the little moments that show a relationship is taking root. Before you know it, you’ll be counting your blessings as you see your relationship blossom.

There is nothing more devastating than losing a child. In what ways, can you walk alongside a grieving mom?

— Debby Rowe

embrace

My Grandma Goforth never drove a car, was orphaned by the time she was six, but she loved Jesus. She lived a simple life. She was gentle, kind, loving, and faithfully prayed. She went to work at the age of 54 when Grandpa died, and worked for 20 years. It took two people to replace her when she retired. I loved being with her. Every summer, I took the Greyhound bus to Glendale and spent a week with her. She always had ice cream bonbons and gingersnaps waiting for me when I arrived. We played “pickup sticks” and read together. We would walk to Baskin Robbins for ice cream, and took the red bus to Bob’s Big Boy for hamburgers and chocolate malts. I just loved her! She had a profound influence on my life. She wasn’t famous. She wasn’t what the world would call a success. She was my grandma.

We just need to tend the little place that God has left for us to care for and leave results to Him.

Shelly Esser has been the editor of

Just Between Us for 30 years. Additionally, she has been involved with leading and nurturing women in Christ since college. She and her husband have four adult daughters and two sons-in-law and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

I remember every room in her home, the pictures on the wall, the furniture, and even the special dishes we always ate on. She died before I could tell her how grateful I was for her, her prayers, and her love. The ripple effect of her life lives on in me and hopefully in my children and grandchildren. I hope her influence pours over to my friends and acquaintances. I am sure she never knew she was the woman I strived to be. After my grandma died, I found little notes wrapped around some of the few earthly possessions she had. The notes were sometimes addressed to me, telling me the history of the item. Her journal was a ragged beat up binder, but inside were treasures of her prayers and thoughts. She wrote prayers for my parents, me, and my brothers. Her heart and love for God are reflected on every page. As it says in 2 Cor. 2:15, she was “a sweet aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved” (NET). She enlarged my life by her presence and continues to do so by the memories I have of her along with a few cherished possessions.

Recently, I discovered the following poem in her journal called “Little Places.” “Master, where shall I work today?” My love flowed warm and free. He pointed out a tiny plot, and said “Tend that for Me.” I answered quickly, “Oh no, not there; not anyone could see. No matter how well my task was done— not that little place for Me.” His voice when He spoke—it was not stern, He answered me tenderly. “Little one, search that heart of thine, are you working for them or Me? Nazareth was just a little place, and so was Galilee. This poem always reminds me that what I see as little in God’s hands is multiplied. When we make whatever we have available to God, He takes it, and blesses and multiplies it beyond our wildest imaginations. We see this principle in Scripture when Jesus feeds the 5,000 with the two loaves of bread and five fishes given by a young boy. The boy gave what he had without concern of it being too little to be useful. In the hand of God, it was more than enough. When we offer God what we have, as small or tiny as it may seem, He takes it and does something wonderful and possibly unexpected. We may not know the outcome, just as my grandmother didn’t know how her offering of time and love transformed my life. We don’t need to know the outcome. We just need to tend the little place that God has left for us to care for and leave results to Him. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations, for ever and ever! Amen” (Eph. 3:20-21).

Tell your mom, grandmother, or spiritual mother how grateful you are for them today!

Dyann Shepard

is a writer, blogger, and certified public accountant. She enjoys teaching and developing Bible studies for women, and was formerly on staff with CRU. She is married with two children, two bonus children, and four grandchildren.

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was very fortunate to have two praying grandmothers. By the world’s standards they lived very small lives. But to me, and more importantly to God, their lives were big. Why? Because they lived for Him.

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by Dyann Shepard

i th ar w e y y r e v e

our

e ldr

l rd

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. . .l

ag e,

Grieving moms need the gift of your presence. Ruth stayed by Naomi’s side even during bouts of depression or bitterness. Pray, avoid platitudes, be comfortable with silence and tears, listen deeply, ask good questions, follow up often, and don’t quit after three months, or a year, or two years. The grief journey is long, unique, and unpredictable. What makes it bearable is God’s gift of committed friends willing to walk alongside their grieving sister.

Little Places

The Lesson of Soon, we had arranged a public quilt show with the library for the month of September. We displayed our quilts and put out donation boxes for paper goods for the women at the shelter. I contacted the local newspaper, and they wrote a beautiful article about us. In fear and trembling, I asked for and received Christian radio coverage. In the process, we picked up sponsors who regularly load us down with fabric. The community response was and continues to be amazing! The pandemic has made this year challenging in a new way. Our quilt show had to be done virtually. Still, God provided us with a place to meet safely, and we’ve added new quilters to our group. Those local newspapers called and asked for a follow-up story. Since then, the donations of quilts, quilt tops, and fabric have poured in. The only things we purchase are batting and thread. Making these quilts has become a community effort, a community expression of solidarity.

Under His Wings

Quilting

Wrapping up the hurting with the love of Christ. by Cheryl M. Smith

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faithful promises are your armor and protection.” In that moment, I realized that these women needed the assurance of God’s love and our encouragement, as they tried to make a fresh start, so Under His Wings Quilting was born.

It didn’t take long to realize that a group of quilters would soon be producing more quilts than any one person could possibly use. God led me to a woman using the services of one of our local domestic violence shelters. It seemed a perfect fit—women sewing for women and children in a service few knew about or supported. I read Ps. 91:4 (TLB): “He will shield you with his wings, He will shelter you with his feathers. His

We began meeting in a church, but it just wasn’t a good fit. After a difficult first year, our group was ready to meet elsewhere. The community library was next door, so I inquired if they had a room we could use. When they learned about our mission they welcomed us with open arms. Re-reading through the Gospels, I learned that Jesus did most of His ministry outside the church in the community, so I followed His lead.

This ministry has been so transforming that we are now seeking to help other communities start similar groups. Believe me, there is nothing greater than living out your faith Under His Wings.

Cheryl M. Smith enjoys writing,

cycling, and sewing. In addition to leading Under His Wings Quilting, Cheryl works as a seamstress and has authored two books. She and her husband, Scott, have been involved in outreach ministries for 36 years. They have two children and one grandson.

Peter asked everyone to leave the room. He then knelt and prayed and Tabitha came back to life. The miracle was so wonderful that revival broke out in Joppa. What can we learn from this story? Tabitha was a Disciple of Jesus In Acts 9:36, Tabitha is identified as a disciple of Jesus. Actually, the Greek word is the female form of the word for “disciple.” This is the only place in the New Testament that it is used. Tabitha is the real deal. When you met Tabitha, you were meeting someone infused with faith in Jesus Christ; it radiated from her attitude, her life, and her words. And she had chosen to make her mission field Joppa’s poor and widows. Tabitha Lived Life to the Full Widowhood was fairly commonplace in Tabitha’s society. It was the responsibility of the early church to help women left with no one to care for them. Tabitha’s ministry was everything from babysitting, listening to heartaches, and sewing garments. She poured her life out daily to those who needed it most. Tabitha learned that finding abundant life meant giving herself away. Tabitha Invested Wisely Tabitha knew she couldn’t outgive God. Jesus said, “And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded” (Matt. 10:41-42). How significant can mending a coat or sewing a quilt be in the kingdom of God? Do the simple things matter? Of course they do. You may not see or know who benefits from your help, but God does. Those simple, generous acts become His aroma of grace in a hurting world. Not many of us will be Peters. We will probably never miraculously heal the sick or raise the dead, but the ministry of simple grace is just as worthy and powerful. When you make a quilt or a dinner, send a card, or make an encouraging call, you are being Jesus’ disciple, living a life of purpose, and investing in God’s kingdom. Tabitha has a beautiful legacy we should all claim as our own. — Cheryl M. Smith

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husband. We had changed churches, and the new fellowship didn’t have a quilting group. “I think I’m going to try to start one.” Little did I know the adventure God had in store.

I could never have imagined the impact of starting this group. I’m amazed at how God overcomes obstacles and provides. Donations are made in tears of gratitude for what we are doing. Others have learned of services that a family member desperately needs. God’s grace is poured out in lives without cost and in abundance.

Tabitha’s story is so small, so simple, it is easy to miss. Acts 9:36-42 tells of a woman named Tabitha who helped the poor and widowed in her community of Joppa. Her kindness and mercy helped them in many ways. Sadly, she had fallen ill and died. When she died, a group of widows and poor friends tearfully summon Peter and show him the garments she had made and lovingly repaired. She treated the widows with dignity and lived out God’s Gospel to them. What would they do without her?

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“I miss my quilting group,” I told my

Headed into our third year, we have produced well over 100 quilts. Our goal is that every family member transitioning out of a shelter will leave with a personal quilt. One shelter representative told us, “The kids love their quilts! They are considered prized personal property and they defend them diligently.” That warms my heart. These ones who have lost so much cling tightly to this promise of love and hope. The moms are amazed that someone cared enough to make such a beautiful gift and someone believes in their family’s future.

Tabitha

sion and before His return. We live between promises. With feet in both worlds, a lament feels messy. We believe, but we hurt; we know, but we question. Russ Ramsey in his book Struck describes lament as “a complaint bound to faith, confusion bound to trust, petition bound to allegiance.” For the believer, grief seldom stands alone. It takes on a deeper dimension. A harsh reality hurts more coming from Someone we love and trust. In lament, betrayal mixes with the grief.

We Are in Good Company

Both David, the man after God’s own heart, and Jesus, the man who embodied God’s own heart, were familiar with laments. Each cried out to God when his belief did not seem to match his experience.

Learning to

Lament It’s the door to intimacy with God. by Lori Ann Wood

t was an ordinary Tuesday of my last year of high school. My childhood friend’s mother had just died after a long illness. As I rushed into the choir room just ahead of the bell, I remember seeing her older brother pacing outside the school office, waiting for her to be released from class.

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I attended the funeral, but pretty much expected everything to be back to baseline soon afterward. I am not sure I ever talked about her mother’s death to anyone, especially God, who had apparently dropped the ball. My friend and I tried to continue our normal teenage lives.

Right now, many of us are hurting in new ways, and most of us are not articulating it. As hard as we try to hold it together, grief is seeping out in small drips and large downpours. It catches us off guard and spills over onto unsuspecting family members, Facebook friends, Zoom conference attendees, and socially-distanced bystanders. God understands, and He wants us to talk about it. God wants us to lament.

What is Lament?

Lament is a passionate expression of grief or sorrow. It is more than just feeling the heartache. It is openly admitting to God the intense, confusing pain. As humans we suffer, but only as believers do we lament. It is uniquely difficult because of the closeness of our God. We know His promises, and we know Him. Yet we live here in a world of sorrows after His ascen-

His followers feel it now with the weight of the pandemic, racial injustice, economic inequality, health crises, wayward children, and lost jobs. Expressing our pain can sometimes feel disloyal, like we are giving up on God’s ultimate goodness—or maybe more like He is giving up on us. But God intended it for something much different.

Lament Demonstrates Belief

Lament shows belief like few other expressions can. In fact, it may be one of the truest forms of praise. Lament reaches out for God when logic urges us to run away. Author of Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament, Mark Vroegop says, “The practice of lament is one of the most theologically informed things a person can do.” Some of the most heartfelt places in Scripture are rich in lament. Psalms, Lamentations, and Ecclesiastes all focus on hurt and expressing it. They range from personal pain to shared suffering and almost always end with a statement of confidence in the goodness of God, in praise. When we lament, we sift the truth out of difficult feelings and harsh realities. Though deep in the mire, a lament can feel like we are abandoning our faith. It is actually just the opposite. Lament announces that, even though we do not like what is happening, we are choosing to trust. When we lament, we are reaffirming our belief in this God Whom we often do not understand: I believe You exist. Just as I would not send an email or make a phone call to someone I did not believe was real, by communicating to You I am confirming that I know You are there.

Lament Makes Room for God

Rather than suffocating it with silence, lament breathes life into our relationship with Him, so no struggle is off limits. Passionate communication creates room for God, especially in our heartbreak. When we can be honest about our deepest pain, we allow Him in. Centuries ago, William Arnot explained lament, using these timeless words: “When I weep, Christ enters by the openings which grief has made into my heart, and gently makes it all His own.” It took years of living to discover how God enters our suffering and points it all back to Himself.

Lament announces that, even though we do not like what is happening, we are choosing to trust.

Whatever we are lamenting today—and we all are passionately grieving something in this world—we should not be afraid to bring God into it. It is the only way He can work within it and within us. One day, when we have walked further, we will realize that even these losses were meant for more than we know. When my father passed away, my faraway friend from high school sensed how I was grieving. Still living in the small town where we grew up, she reached out to offer her help to my mother. I know my friend understands this pain, and I see her decades-old hurt being used for good. I just wish I had learned to lament all those years ago…when my friend and my faith both needed it.

Lori Ann Wood serves as founding leader of the Parenting Education Ministry at the Church of Christ in Bentonville, Ark., WomenHeart Champion Community Educator, and American Heart Association Ambassador. Lori Ann’s work has been published in numerous print and online venues, including The Christian Century magazine and Pepperdine University Press. Lori Ann and her husband have three children and live in Bentonville, Ark. Read more from her at loriannwood.com.

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When I heard the news of her mother’s passing, I did not go to my friend’s familiar house to console her. Her pain was something I couldn’t understand and did not want to see up close. The truth is, I felt a new kind of fearful sadness of my own that I did not know how to express, so I ignored it.

I often wonder if it really was distance and decisions that came between us. I wonder how my relationship with God, and my friend, might have been different if I had expressed the unfamiliar disappointment, anger, disillusionment, and fear.

Jesus pleaded for answers in Gethsemane before the impending crucifixion: “Let this cup pass.” At Golgotha, He cried: “Why have You forsaken Me?”

I believe You love me. By sharing my deep personal feelings with You, I affirm that You are a caring listener. Otherwise, I would keep the thoughts to myself. I hurt because I know You love me, and I cannot humanly reconcile that love with my current reality.

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For years, I pretended not to notice my friend’s mother’s decline when I spent the night enjoying her dad’s culinary expertise, when I hung out in their upstairs TV room after school, or when I tagged along on their family vacations.

Later that year, we graduated and went our separate ways. Before Facebook, and at the height of long-distance phone charges, we drifted apart. I put my God and my friend in a box marked “high school” and did not take either one out for years.

David—dismissed, hunted, and rejected—penned nearly half of the Psalms, and one third of those are laments: How long? Why? Where are You?

I believe You are powerful. I cannot hold someone accountable unless I believe they had the power to affect a different result. The fact that I am complaining to You means that I know You could have done something about it, and that You can bring about a different result in the future.

The Farmer’s Field

The Spirit is the river. We are the farmer’s fields. But what part does the field play? 1. A field can’t do much on its own. It can’t unearth a spring or push out a drop of water of its own volition. As fields of the Father, we’re promised that living water will flow forth, but not from our effort and not under our control.

Downstream

Allowing “rivers of living water” to flow through you. by Sandy Mayle

The Allegheny River ran through my childhood. What I didn’t know as I splashed in it, camped beside it, and kayaked on it was that the Allegheny River starts as just a small spring in a farmer’s field in northern Pennsylvania. The trickle widens until people are baptized in the flow, fishermen pull Muskie from the depths, and speedboats skim the surface while loaded barges inch along.

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From Trickle to River

In Ezekiel 47, the prophet is shown a vision of the temple in Jerusalem. He follows a trickle of water coming from under the temple wall, which grows ankle-deep, then knee-deep, then waist-deep, until that trickle has become an uncrossable river. Although it flows through

This same Jesus said, “‘Whoever believes in me…rivers of living water will flow from within them.’ By this he meant the Spirit” (John 7:38-39). Every believer, Jesus was saying, is a farmer’s field from which, like Ezekiel’s trickle and Jerusalem’s Pentecost, the living water (the Holy Spirit) bubbles forth. From trickle to river He flows out into our families, our neighborhoods, our nation, and on into the Dead Sea of our world. In the process He’s spawning life, nurturing growth, and bringing fruit and healing to those along our shores.

The interests of the Son: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). The desires of God’s Spirit: “Those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires” (Rom. 8:5b). 3. A field accepts its limits. No matter what grows or flows from it, a farmer’s field is always the same, simple plot of boundaried earth. Spiritually speaking, while it’s mind-blowing just to be a place where God is bringing water out of dry ground, so often we want more. We want to see what’s happening downstream. We want to be assured of our effectiveness. God alone birthed this stream of living water. He flows out, He swells and surges, He brings the dead to life and He makes the living to bear fruit. He causes that fruit to nourish and sustain others. All the glory belongs to Him. All our striving to peer far ahead for results only pollutes the waters with churning angst. The truth is, as we work and pray, we seldom find out what happens downstream.

Out of Sight

“A river reaches places which its source never knows,” wrote Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest. “And Jesus said that, if we have received His fullness, ‘rivers of living water’ will flow out of us, reaching in blessing even ‘to the end of the earth’ (Acts 1:8) regardless of how small the visible effects of our lives appear to be. We have nothing to do with the outflow—‘This is the work of God, that you believe…’—(John 6:29). God rarely allows a person to see how great a blessing he is to others.” I think this can be a significant struggle for faithful Christ-followers who stay with it year after year, but don’t see the results they’re looking for. I, for one, sometimes want to jump in a powerboat and check

Until then, however, I long to watch that basket ride the current and navigate the rocks. That’s all happening beyond my field. I have my limits, but I have an unlimited and faithful God. That’s where I’m finding peace in my intercession these days.

reaches

“A river places which its source never knows.” OSWALD CHAMBERS

MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST

On and On

None of us, whatever our calling or season in life, knows where the Spirit will bear our output or how He will work far out of our sight and well beyond our reach to affect the Father’s plans. It’s not our business to know; it’s His. Ours is to focus on just being His field, letting Him flow from us. It’s enough to know that “our labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Cor. 15:58) and to “not become weary in doing good” (Gal. 6:9). One day we will see all that God has done downstream. In the meantime, the life-giving Spirit flows out of us, sweeping our prayers and labors along on the strong current of His purposes. He soaks dried spirits, fills abandoned hearts, buoys stranded hopes, and spawns joy and life. We don’t—we can’t—do anything to make it happen. We just remain open to the Holy Spirit and, like a spring in a farmer’s field, out He flows. Downstream, on and on.

Sandy Mayle is a freelance writer. She has also served in music, prayer, and women’s ministries in her church. She and her husband, Dave, live in Erie, Pa.

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I wonder… does that farmer’s field in northern Pennsylvania have any idea what is happening downstream?

In the same way, Jesus’ death and resurrection unearthed a spring of living water that bubbled forth at Pentecost in Jerusalem, rose knee-deep through Judea, waist-deep through Samaria, and finally widened to cover the whole earth with its offer of abundant life (Acts 1:8).

The plan of the Father: “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose “ (Phil. 2:13).

In recent years, divorce ripped through our family and took with it a dear daughter-in-law. I had a hard time letting go. I struggled against the current for a long time until I finally did what the Spirit had been nudging me to do…in my heart I put Anna in a basket, as though she was my little baby Moses, and committed her to the Lord’s keeping to the flow. Today, as Anna is riding downstream, I believe God is watching over her and trust that I will someday see just how He’s been answering prayer.

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In Pittsburgh, the Allegheny River joins the Monongahela River to form the Ohio River, surging southeast to merge with the Mississippi River and empties into the Gulf of Mexico. In the process, the mighty Mississippi River grows to some 11 miles wide while hosting at least 260 species of fish. Its watershed covers over a million square miles, reaching people from the Appalachians to the Rockies and even a bit of Canada.

desert land, the river nurtures many trees along its shores, including all kinds of fruit trees bearing nourishing fruit and healing leaves. It eventually flows into the salty Dead Sea, turning the waters fresh so that they become filled with many kinds of fish, for “where the river flows everything will live” (v. 9).

2. A field serves the purposes of its owner. It has no agenda of its own. As God’s fields, we offer ourselves to:

out what’s happening—or not—downstream. How are things looking? Has what I’ve done proven worthwhile? Should I pray longer? Work harder? What more do I need to do?

Staying ON COURSE Six lessons to keep close to Jesus. by Elizabeth Wilder

t’s no mystery to me why Jesus took His disciples by boat to a “solitary place” when they needed rest. Being on the sea is a wonderful experience. When my world is miniaturized into a sailboat, I experience my best moments of prayer and reflection. Last summer, I thought about how much my time on the water keeps me close to Jesus. Here are six lessons I’ve learned from boating that help me stay on course.

APPLY SUNBLOCK FIRST

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me” (Prov. 8:17).

My sunblock is a thick zinc paste that’s hard to put on and leaves white marks on absolutely everything. It makes me look like a zombie. My skin burns easily, but I defer applying sunblock until right before I need it because I don’t like how gritty it feels. Often, I get distracted with last-minute departure tasks like raising the anchor or fetching a block of ice. I miss out on protection I could have had if I would have just done the first thing first.

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Sailing takes planning. I don’t just get up and point the boat somewhere. I have to research the tides and currents to make sure I won’t be sailing against a force stronger than myself. I study charts for dangerous shoals or known obstacles. Every day on the water, I write down a “drop dead” time for a waypoint, so that I can make course corrections and head for a safe harbor before dark. Like all Christians, I know that my destination is eternal life with Jesus. Between me and my goal are work and family needs, attractive distractions, uncomfortable social situations, and minor emergencies. Ignoring these isn’t helpful to me or my family. What I take from sailing is the need to be deliberate in my thoughts and actions.

DON’T OVERLOAD THE BOAT “She did what she could” (Mark 14:8).

Every boat has a legal capacity. Squeezing one extra person on a 40-foot motorboat probably won’t sink it, but putting four adults in a two-man life raft would be disastrous. Everything–every person–has limits. When I’m asked to volunteer, I love to say yes because I enjoy acts of service. It makes me feel useful. Sometimes, though, impulsively agreeing to do “just one more thing” leads to failure, exhaustion, or (in my case) a very short temper. Sailing has taught me to be aware of my limitations and to articulate my weaknesses. When I can’t do something on the boat, I’m not ashamed to ask for help.

BE PREPARED FOR TROUBLE (and Carry Extra Supplies) “And they furnished us with the supplies we needed” (Acts 28:10).

A life ring, flares, oars, an air horn, paper charts in addition to the electronic ones—I hope I never need them. I keep a few extra cans of tuna and baked beans on board, along with a duffel bag stuffed with old fleeces and a slightly leaky raincoat. Even if I don’t need these items, other boaters might. Strangers have helped me out many times when I needed a certain pin or screw for a repair. Sailors take care of each other. Christians take care of each other the same way. The Bible warns us repeatedly that we will experience trials and we need to prepare for them. We need to store up not just food and hardware, but wisdom, loving memories, and friendships. We may be called upon to donate to an emergency food drive or drop everything and sit

with an elderly neighbor. I strive to be prepared in advance for the needs of others, just like the people who helped Paul along his way to Rome.

PLAN A LAY DAY

“The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” ( Mark 2:27). Being outdoors all day is fun but tiring. Sailing is a sport! We plan for days off the water to restock the boat, get a hot shower, prepare for the next leg of the voyage, and take a nap without “one ear open.” We need breaks from the pressure and noise of modern living. It is godly, not selfish, to plan for rest and recovery when building your schedule.

PUT DOWN THE ANCHOR “Be still and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).

Conditions can change suddenly on the water. When the wind rises and kicks up huge waves, I evaluate if this is a temporary squall or a real problem. I know it’s foolish to stick to a sailing plan in disintegrating weather, yet find it hard to change course, find a safe place, drop the anchor, and wait for the storm to pass. In our lives we also experience unexpected storms: a job loss, an accident, or even malicious gossip. The devastating shock, grief, and pain can feel overwhelming. I’ve learned through harsh experience that the best actions I can take are the same as on the water: close the hatches, wait, and pray. In that time of waiting, I feel the presence of the One who promises that He will always be with us—Jesus.

Trust

in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Elizabeth Wilder is a writer, sailor,

and community volunteer. She and her husband live in Seattle and are the parents of three grown children.

summer 2021

Sailing has taught me that reading even just one verse of Scripture protects me; just like the giant pump-top bottle of moisturizer with SPF 15 sunscreen that I slap on first thing every morning; anything is better than nothing. Even if it’s a quick scroll through my Bible app, I read Scripture every day. I don’t let perfect get in the way of consistent. Just like sunblock, more is better but even a little will help.

PLAN YOUR ROUTE “The plans of the diligent lead to profit” (Prov. 21:5).

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Studying Scripture is like sunblock for the soul—it protects us. Instructions on studying Scripture often make me feel like a failure, because I don’t get up early and devote half an hour to prayer. I don’t keep a journal. I don’t memorize well.

Now Where Do We Go?

How do we take part in the church when it can bring so much hurt? by Karen Rhea

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Pastors who preached those great messages and served us communion, baptized our babies, made hospital visits, spoke at loved one’s funerals, counseled us into reconciliation with others, shared meals, served side-by-side in the mission field, socialized, laughed and cried together and then…their humanity spilled out. Following a service, the pastor asked a woman why she was crying. When she said that she missed her friend who had just died three months earlier, he replied, “If you believed she’s in heaven, you wouldn’t be so upset.” The decision was made to cancel Vacation Bible school because the noise from the children would disturb the pastor working on his PhD of Divinity.

Jim grew up Episcopal and I grew up Methodist, so we began our faith journey by exchanging wedding vows at a United Methodist church. Three years later, we landed at a local Presbyterian church. A non-denominational congregation was our longest stint, then we shortened our commute to a Baptist church. Most recently, an Evangelical Free church is home.

A couple and their two little boys began attending church at an elementary school. The following year, the pastor asked to see their tax returns to make sure they were tithing appropriately.

Our pastor holds a weekly round table inviting elders, deacons, and home group leaders to spitball his upcoming sermon. Jim and I loved his obvious humility and curiosity about others’ thoughts. Pastor G. posed the question one day, “Before the others arrive, why did you two leave your last church?” Before a myriad of hurtful stories escaped my lips, Jim blurted out, “Just don’t make her mad, or we’ll have to leave here too!” When I punched him in the shoulder (but considered strangling him), both men burst out laughing, sharing the same dry wit.

The volume of worship music became ear-piecing. An audiologist in the congregation brought equipment proving decibel levels were dangerously high. Presenting this fact to the worship leader, the response was, “Too bad. You’re in the minority.”

In reality, deep hurt, and rarely theological differences, caused us to leave one house of worship in search of another. Isn’t it true that offenses within the church sting to the core? The obvious has been stated, “There’s no perfect church.” How true, as there’s no perfect human. On any given day, this thought must run through a pastor’s mind: “I’d love my job if it wasn’t for all the people!” The Christ-like compassion, humility, and accountability required to shepherd the flock could test the purest of earthly saints.

Infidelity of a pastor and parishioner came to light following closed-door counseling sessions.

Our own church began selling books. After a church member purchased one for his daughter, now questioning her faith in college, he was horrified to learn that the book made her more skeptical. It questioned the validity of Jesus’ statement in John 14:6, “I am the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Sharing his outrage publicly in our couple’s group, he asked why its content had not been vetted. After approaching the associate pastor with the man’s concerns, that pastor never spoke to either of us again. Jim and I had become weary of it all and resigned from positions of leadership. We began staying home Sunday mornings, and old wounds festered. Four months dragged by. Jim suggested we try out another church. Refusing, I repeated my mantra, “I just can’t relive Sundays being the hardest day of the week.”

In reality, I missed everything about church that was good. Gone was the joy and reverence in gathering together with our faith community each Sunday. We grieved the absence of countless sweet relationships built in Bible studies and home groups. That year, we missed all the Sunday services leading up to Christmas. Just after the New Year, I was experiencing an internal struggle, a void. Jim walked in the sunroom with his coffee, sat down next to me with his Bible, opened it and said, “Karen, every day this week, I can’t get away from this Scripture in Hebrews,” “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Heb. 10:23-25). Before the complacency of staying away from church rooted too deeply, God’s Word convicted us to do as instructed. We visited a church and gladly began investing our time, talents, and tithes. Past hurts that weighed me down through the decades lifted. It was always about coming to a place of forgiveness. How freeing to acknowledge that each of the pastors in the churches I previously attended played a significant role in my faith journey. “On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it” (Matt. 16:18). I stand in awe of all who have a healthy church life where roots run deep. But for those of us who presently battle hurt or theological differences, move on. When an inability to reconcile takes away your joy and mounting issues become a distraction in your time of worship, could it be the Holy Spirit leading you to another congregation? Changing churches is difficult, but don’t carry the anger with you. Grieve appropriately with a trusted counselor or prayer partner. Speaking publically about pastors who hurt me may have helped me feel justified, temporarily. But critical words and, more to the point, gossip can divide a church, tripping up individuals in their fellowship with God and one another. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). Even pastors. Even me.

Karen Rhea is a keynote speaker and the author of The Mule, An Unexpected Ride, and Sick Kids and Those Who Love Them. A former leader with Community Bible Study, she also directed women’s ministries and couples’ ministries with her husband. Karen is recently married. She has a son, daughter-in-law, and lives in Germantown, Md. Find more information about her and her work at karenrhea.com.

summer 2021

Despite our own shortcomings, how often do high expectations of our spiritual leaders crumble and reconciliations never occur?

If I caved, I knew how it would go. We would try to be invisible and sit in the back, but the unavoidable would occur. “Please fill out a guest card.” “Are you coming here now?” “You’re going to love this pastor!” We always made a pact to not get involved and participate. If history proved right, that plan would crumble.

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fter attending church for decades, my husband, Jim, and I began staying home Sunday mornings. That season was short lived but felt interminable. What led us to exit the church and what drew us back?

People of faith can be bull-headed, gossipy, critical, and non-committal. Some are argumentative and conflict follows wherever they go. Or the opposite occurs. Avoiding conflict at all cost, non-confrontational people struggle in a different way. Leaving church, their blood pressure rises, and they withdraw or explode to those closest to them about unrelated issues.

LIVING WELL

minutes in the

Did Jesus Encourage Self-Care?

WORD

In the 1970s and 80s, publicized focus on self-care was connected to racial pride and the women’s liberation movement. Groups that felt the marginalization of politics and culture promoted the need to take care of yourself—physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The trend continues today with the rise of websites, blogs, and online information available for everyone. Self-care is commonplace, but as Christians, what is our view of this practice? Do we see any evidence of self-care modeled by Christ in Scripture?

Components of Self-Care

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Gail Goolsby,

Often, Jesus practiced and encouraged His disciples to draw away to “lonely places” for quiet times in prayer and communication with His Father apart from the noisy, needy crowds (Luke 5:15-16). In addition, He taught His followers to be grateful, practice forgiveness, demonstrate grace and kindness, and meditate on the truth that heals our souls and gives us hope. These principles give us the prescription for our own self-care.

y bags were packed and I was full of excitement. After weeks of meticulous planning, I was off to my favorite place for my getaway with the Lord. This was a first for me to take a four-day retreat with just me and God. I anticipated a fun, easy time. Honestly, it was harder than I ever imagined. To stop doing and be still was very difficult. The day after I arrived, I wanted to go home! After a couple days of extreme restlessness, I realized how much my life normally overflows with noise and distractions.

Jesus’s life was full of distractions and noise. Read Mark 6:30-46. Write out what Jesus said to the disciples in verse 31.

holds master’s degrees in professional counseling and educational leadership. She has over 25 years of experience in education, and is a counselor and ICF certified life coach. Her book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul, has challenging applications for all readers. Gail and her husband live in Wichita, Kan., and have three grown children and four granddaughters.

gailgoolsby.com

% gail.goolsby@gmail.com F Gail Wettstone Goolsby T Gail Goolsby

Digging Deeper Jesus often withdrew alone to pray, to rest, to talk and align with the Father. He invites us to do the same. “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31).

Self-Care is Not Selfish or Anti-Christian

The Westminster Shorter Catechism states that “the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.” Our best hope in fulfilling this calling is to care for ourselves in all areas so that we can live well and bring glory to God.

What words describe your time with Jesus?

Can you relate? How can we flourish and grow amid the distractions?

When we strive to take care of ourselves, we are also looking to the benefit of others. We build resiliency to handle the day-to-day stress and challenges that come into our worlds. Being the best version of ourselves enables us to respond with patience, gentleness, understanding, joy, and energy to meet our obligations to love well. Jesus would encourage us to care for ourselves by: • Developing our intimacy with God • Controlling our diets • Monitoring our home/work balance • Staying active • Enjoying nature • Investing in important relationships • Engaging in our communities • Growing our talents, skills, and personal interests

Let’s take a peek into the rhythm of Jesus’ life. Read Mark 1:35, Matt. 14:23, Luke 5:16; 6:12, and 22:39. What words describe Jesus’ time with His Father?

Rest in the original language is a command meaning “to cause or permit one to cease from labor in order to recover and collect his strength.” This indicates not only physical strength, but also spiritual refreshment.

List the events that happened in this passage. How did the disciples respond? How did Jesus respond?

Did you note that this is a command from Jesus? It’s not optional or only for a select few. Rest also carries the meaning “to give one’s self rest.” In other words, you and I must take personal responsibility to stop, get away from the noise and distractions, and go to a quiet place with Jesus. He is the One Who loves us with an everlasting love, Who is all powerful, all knowing— the One Who gives us strength to recover and refresh physically and spiritually. Time with Jesus is essential to flourish!

How would you respond in this situation, especially being weary and hungry? Did Jesus skip His getaway or reschedule it? How did Jesus stay focused and purposeful?

For Your Journal Today, schedule a time and a place to withdraw from the noise and distractions and rest with Jesus. Interruptions will come, and it may not be easy, but stay with it and don’t give up! Create space to spend time alone with Jesus. Listen to what He may be saying to you. Journal your experience.

summer 2021

At each session, we brainstorm needed changes and possible improvements and then set specific goals for each target. We review the progress at the next session and make adjustments to continue moving toward the desired outcome. We celebrate achievements together, small and big.

Jesus Was Human, Too We are not afforded detailed accounts of Jesus’ eating habits beyond meals with His friends. Enough evidence shows that Jesus likely lived with Peter in Capernaum and enjoyed the hospitality of friends like Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. He rested, spent time with close connections, and fulfilled public ministry. The ancient times called for walking, so exercise occurred daily.

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As a life and behavioral coach, I work with clients to help them establish a healthy balance of work, home life, relationships, and personal goals. Invariably, this encompasses a review of patterns regarding: • Nutrition • Exercise • Sleep • Social participation/relationships • Stress response/resiliency • Creative outlets • Career/work/education

flourish! By Dorie Etrheim

by Gail Goolsby uch talk has entered health and wellness circles about self-care in the past few years, but truthfully the concept is not new. Back in the 1950s, medical professionals directed institutionalized patients struggling to care adequately for themselves to follow prescribed eating and hygiene regimens. In the 1960s, workers in highly stressful careers were encouraged to implement personal care time to avoid burnout. This could involve vacations, relaxing activities, physical health directives, or spiritual exercises.

Come Away with Jesus—and

DISCOVERING THE WORD

STRENGTHENING YOUR SOUL

Joy—Our Lighthouse of Hope

Not Staying the Same

by Pam Farrel

by Melva L. Henderson

ighthouses are special to our family. Our youngest son proposed to his wife at a lighthouse. We have our home on a live-aboard boat so lighthouses are a beacon of hope to us in the fog or squalling sea. God’s Word is that same kind of lighthouse, a beacon of hope to guide us into safe harbor in the storms of life (John 1:1-5). A storm can hit your life like a flash of lightning: a diagnosis from a doctor, a confession from a spouse, a child revealing one of your worst fears, a pink slip from an employer, or a pandemic that shuts down your world. One of our toughest seasons showed us God’s lighthouse of hope that helped us navigate our perfect storm. The winds first hit our little lifeboat when Bill wasn’t feeling well. We went to the ER where a doctor informed him that he had high blood pressure. That news caught Bill’s attention. His dad had a stroke in his 40s that left him paralyzed, and Bill’s grandfather died of a stroke in his early 40s. Soon it became apparent that God was asking Bill to resign his position as lead pastor of our church. In this same season, our youngest son, Caleb, was hit in a football game and rushed to the hospital where he needed a blood transfusion to save his life. Eight days later, when we brought Caleb home, all I wanted to do was to wrap him in my arms, but I had a speaking engagement, which our family needed me to fulfill in order to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads.

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I knew that the only way I could hold on to hope was to “choose joy” every day.

I knew that the only way I could hold onto hope was to “choose joy” every day. I decided the best way to bolster my hope and joy was to teach the Bible studies I had penned on these topics online, to the many others who were grasping for hope and joy. With a “Choosing Joy” mug in hand, I tried to be a lighthouse through social media and virtual teaching. Since the day I found hope in the Psalms, I answer the “How are you?” with “Choosin’ joy!”

Learning to Listen

God spoke to my heart one day: I was off focus in a particular place in my home life. Although I didn’t particularly like it, I had to make adjustments and submit to what He had revealed. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” I used to think this meant to acknowledge Him only in spiritual matters, but the text says that in all my ways I am to acknowledge Him. That leaves nothing out. If I’m taking care of my kids, that’s one of my ways. If I’m going to the grocery store, that’s one of my ways. It doesn’t matter what I do or where I go, all my ways are of interest to God.

Nothing Off Limits

Because I am married, my husband has the right to get involved in the day-to-day affairs of my life. The same goes for my right to get involved in his life. I forfeited the option of shutting out his input and correction when I entered the marriage covenant. The same is true with God. As His children, we have entered a covenant, and He has the absolute right to correct us whenever we need it. Proverbs 3:12 says that the LORD loves those He corrects. I once heard someone say, “God accepts me just the way I am, but He loves me too much to let me stay this way.”

Not God’s Best for You

I remember dating a man who I thought was possibly “the one.” He put on a good show—he knew all the Christian jargon and attended church regularly. I quickly found out, however, that his life was full of sin, and he had never fully committed his heart to Christ. The Lord sent a friend to me who said, “Melva, this is not God’s selection for you.” I remember being extremely angry at my friend and at God. I thought he was the man God had chosen for me, but thankfully I was wrong.

As you listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, be open to what He speaks to you and obey Him.

My friend’s words sent me into a time of prayer and fasting. I cried out to God, “Why don’t you want me to be happy? Why can everybody else make decisions that you bless, but when I make decisions, you always trump them?” I will never forget what God said to me: “It’s because of your prayers, Melva. You asked me not to allow anything in your life that didn’t please me. You asked me to keep you and protect you. I am honoring what you requested.”

Blessings of Obedience

What if God had not corrected me and I had not obeyed? What if I had married the man anyway? I’m so glad He corrected me and, because I obeyed, He sent a precious, God-following man into my life. His heart was right, and today God is using him to powerfully advance His kingdom. As you listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, be open to what He speaks to you and obey Him. Let Him love you and bring correction to your life. Remember, He only corrects those He loves.

Pam Farrel

is an international speaker, author of 52 books, including her newest, innovative Bible study series co-authored with Jean E. Jones and Karla Dornacher: Discovering Hope in the Psalms, Discovering Joy in Philippians, and Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament. Pam and her husband, Bill, are co-directors of LoveWise, a ministry to enrich, educate, and encourage people’s most vital relationships.

Love-Wise.com

Melva L. Henderson

is an author, speaker, and regular columnist for Just Between Us. She is also the founder of The Milwaukee Give, a humanitarian outreach and co-founder and president of World Bible Training Institute, an accredited Bible college. She is wife to pastor Ervin, mother of five, and a grandmother.

Melvahenderson.org

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F Melva Henderson T Melva Henderson

summer 2021

Now, years later, we have downsized to live on a boat—a fun second-half-of-life adventure. Due to COVID-19, our marina was closed and my 91-year-old in-laws needed us to be their caregivers full-time (until the quarantine was lifted). We had to abandon our vessel of romance and move to Bill’s folks’ property—to live in a 300-square-foot RV.

e are typically happy about the goodness of God; we worship Him for all that He has done for us. But what about those times when He corrects us or exposes something in our lives that is harmful to us or not pleasing to Him? Do you still appreciate Him then?

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During my time away, I received calls about my other two sons, who had both also experienced athletic injuries. Then I got a call that my younger brother was hospitalized after having a heart attack and they wanted to know if I could come help care for his young children. My stress was welling up like a tidal wave.

When friends would ask, “How are you?” I didn’t know how to answer, so I went to the Word and read Ps. 30:5, “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (ESV). Joy! That’s what I needed. I immediately went on a joy hunt. I read Neh. 8:10, “The joy of the LORD is your strength.” I kept following the well-lit path of joy verses. I printed them, studied them, and hung them around my home. Joy became my lighthouse of hope, an anchor in a storm that lasted three years.

OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR

Us and Them by Ashley N. Thomas

s and them.

Them. A word that often causes me to cringe. It instantly divides. It establishes a difference that sets us apart. I have seen how when we separate people into “us” and “them” categories we begin to demonize, demoralize, and simply diminish people’s value, worth, or worse yet authority over their lives. Us and them language usually leads to hierarchical thinking—where one group knows more, has more, or does more for the other. I see this most often when people step out their front door and choose to volunteer. Well-intentioned people want to be a good neighbor. To lend a helping hand. However, we rarely stop to think about our motivation, our view regarding those we intend to serve, and what our relationship dynamic will look like. Each of these significantly impacts our ability to serve others well. One of my favorite passages in the Bible is found in John, chapter four. It is where Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well. For many, this is a familiar story, and the takeaway is Jesus crossing boundaries and intentionally seeking out the marginalized and vulnerable members of society. He met a need.

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My favorite takeaway? Jesus asked for, and received a cup of water, from the “other.” In other words, Jesus, Savior of the World, allowed a need to be met by someone else. His need was met.

Reciprocity is a buzzword around Hope Street, the place I get to work, and a place where many have the opportunity to serve. It is a word that serves as a continual reminder that our job is to continue to return authority, share wisdom, receive grace, and build relationships. Through those relationships our hope is that people would be known, that we would celebrate what makes us unique, while cherishing that which unites us. Reciprocity casts out “us and them” language. It declares our need for one another.

The truth is, this is difficult. Most people start in the role of “helper” looking to help the “needy.” It is most often well-intentioned, but if it is prolonged it can be devastating and detrimental not only to the one being helped, but also the helper. Jesus modeled His hope for us. His hope is that we would humbly lay down our agendas, our expectations, even our natural inclinations to allow His Spirit in His people to meet the needs of His people. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get in the way of that. Are you willing and ready to receive from “them” (whoever “them” is in your life)? If so, we can get back to a more well-rounded community that bears one another’s burdens, and rejoices together in God’s perfect model of reciprocal living. A space where us and them is eliminated and we choose to flourish together.

“We must understand that there is something of God in every person and every culture, and in order to access it and learn from it we will have to relinquish our power and become the helped instead of always being the helper.” Brenda Salter McNeil; A Credible Witness

Father, give us the grace to trust You more. To trust that You give us the grace we need to meet needs and have our needs met by others. Continue to stretch our imagination to include our “neighbor.” Help us see, learn from, and embrace those who may be different from us, but keep us from division. Lord, we need You. Thank You for often meeting our needs through Your people. Amen.

Ashley N. Thomas is the Executive Director of Hope Street

ministry in Milwaukee, Wis. She enjoys speaking, writing, and being present with broken people as each discovers the grace that allows us all to be known and loved still.

LET YOUR FACETS REFLECT HIS LIGHT. DA C O S TA C O L L E C T I O N . C O M

In this new book Christine Wagoner invites you to be attentive to the movements of the Spirit and engage with opportunities God gives you on your spiritual journey. Sharing about her own yes moments as well as those of others, Wagoner offers practical tools for living a life of openness to the invitations of God in our lives.

NEW FROM PAM FARREL & PEGGY SUE WELLS

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BETWEEN FRIENDS

A BEST-SELLING GUIDE TO

Life-Changing Prayer

Where Does Your Help Come From? by Shelly Esser

ot long ago, I woke up with a heavy spirit. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and it was up to me to fix everything. There’s so much in today’s craziness that can leave us feeling anxious, alone, afraid, and just plain like it would be a whole lot easier to pull the covers up over our heads and stay there! In that moment, I found myself looking for help from family, friends, social media—everywhere but God first. It’s like I had forgotten where my true and lasting help comes from. As a teenager, I came to love Psalm 121 because my best friend’s parents sang it at my high school graduation. However, I haven’t always applied it to my life. In my wrestling, I was reminded that instead of “lifting up my eyes to the hills” as Ps.121:1 encourages me to do, and remembering where my help comes from, I was stuck in the lowlands gazing at my problems instead of gazing at God—the only lasting source of help for my burdens. When we are hit with trouble, we tend to look down instead of up. That’s the wrong direction! The hills in Psalm 121 are a reminder that we’re to look up. But we’re to point our gaze even higher than the hills, we’re to look beyond them to the God who created them because God is higher than all creation—and He is greater than any problem we’re facing.

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God is just waiting for us to turn our eyes on Him. And as we make it a daily habit, He provides us with comfort, peace, hope, and empowerment for living in our day-to-day life and situations.

Verse 3-4 says it all: “He will not let your foot slip he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you…” And again in verse, 7-8, “the LORD watches over you...he will watch over your coming and going.” We have a God who is watching over our lives 24/7. This is mentioned four times here, so God really wants us to get this. Another translation (ESV) says He is the “keeper” of our lives. What an amazing picture of the Lord’s love and care for us. He

is just waiting for us to lift up our eyes to Him to receive His help, but there’s a catch: lifting our eyes to the hills; changing our focus from our problems to the problem-solver. It’s when we don’t do that that discouragement and hopelessness sets in. Think for a minute about the reality that God never sleeps (vs. 3). There is never a moment when your cries, your tears, your needs, your pain, your questions are off His watch. He is watching over you period. Because God never slumbers or sleeps, that means that you can! It doesn’t matter what problem you’re dealing with or what’s going on in the world, you can leave it in your Helper’s capable hands. He will take care of you— always. It doesn’t mean you will live problem-free, but He promises to be with you in your problems.

Have you ever felt like your prayer life is burdened by a sense of obligation or failure? Prayer is not merely something we do—prayer is what God does in us. Best-selling author David Benner helps you move beyond words to become not merely someone who prays, but someone whose entire life is prayer.

It doesn’t matter what problem you’re dealing with or what’s going on in the world, you can leave it in your Helper’s capable hands. And He will be doing that in your life “now and forevermore” (vs. 7)! You can trust in God’s providential care, because He watches over every aspect of your life, today and the day after, and the day after that, until you see Him face to face. In a pandemic or out of a pandemic, whatever you do, wherever you are, you are safe because God, the Creator of the universe, is your Helper and Keeper. When you have one of those days when all you want to do is pull the covers up over your head, run for the hills because you have a God Who is ready to walk alongside you as your permanent Helper. He understands and He never has a moment when you aren’t on His watch. As you keep your eyes towards the hills, you are able to focus on the One whom your help comes from—and that help is your loving Father.

Shelly Esser has been the editor of Just Between Us for 30 years. Additionally, she has been involved with leading and nurturing women in Christ since college. She and her husband have four adult daughters and two sons-in-law and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

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