Transparent Moments Bits & Pieces 12

Transparent Moments breakthrough insights with Anita Carman

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Lessons from my Canine Friend My dog Prince is a French sheep dog who when full grown will be over one hundred pounds. I never imagined when I started to work with a dog trainer that God would use this time to grow my maturity as a leader. Here are three lessons I learned from training Prince that have resonated with me. 1. Live to Please Your Master. When a dog sits on command, he may be sitting on the outside but standing on the inside. When Prince sits in a lazy way, he is slouched over with one of his legs relaxed and extended beyond the frame of his body. A true sit is when he sits in an erect way with both back legs tucked in under his body like a soldier who is standing at attention. A true sit is also when he’s not looking around but looking for my eyes.

When he looks around it means he’s looking for a way to escape and is not truly obedient. An obedient dog looks for my eyes to get his cues from me. He lives to please the master. What a lesson this was to me as I assessed my own life, where I am the servant and Jesus is my Lord and Master. Can I truly look into the eyes of Jesus and know that I am doing exactly what He has instructed me to do? Can I be confident that I am earnestly obeying Him, and not merely going through the motions?

2. Obey Even When God Seems Distant. The trainer began with the sit command while he was standing right next to Prince. Then he put Prince in the sit position while moving away from him, beginning with being five feet away, then ten feet, then twenty feet. The idea was to teach Prince that sit meant sit, and he was expected to sit in that position, even when the trainer walked away from him. Again, I found myself thinking about whether I stay where my Lord and Master has planted me or get restless when God’s voice seems distant. Do I release myself and then find myself wandering around aimlessly because I have disconnected myself from what I last heard God say? 3. Listen for the Master’s Voice. The trainer intentionally invited those around the dogs he trained to put temptations in front of the dogs. For example, he invited those around him to call their dog’s name to show how the dog will not respond to anyone else’s voice. He invited some to put treats in the dog’s line of sight to illustrate how the dog obeyed the command to “come” no matter what temptations were put in his path.

This live demonstration of what it meant to obey the Master’s voice was a warning to me on how easily we can stop following God’s voice while listening to the many voices around us. I was reminded to return to the Bible as my foundation.

For example, I re ca l l a t ime when someone was trying to persuade me that asking another believer for help was a lack of faith and that we should instead pray for the Holy Spirit to help someone discern our need. I went to the Bible to ask God to show me if it was more spiritual to remain silent with our needs or if it’s equally biblical to ask for what we need. God brought to my mind Matt. 12:2-4 where Jesus instructed the disciples and said, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.”

This Bible story taught me that God might instruct us to pray for a need to be met or instruct us to go and ask for help as a test of our humility and obedience. God does not always have to work the same way. How God leads us in one season may not be the way He chooses to lead us in another.

We all are in training like Prince, and can too easily disobey. Let’s continue to seek God’s voice and follow it no matter what kind of distractions or temptations we find along our path.

Anita Carman is the Founder and President of Inspire Women, an organization that inspires women across ethnicities, denominations, and economic levels to discover God’s purpose. It also funds biblical resources and scholarships to train women for missions and ministry. She has an MBA and completed graduate level studies at Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita is the author of Transforming for a Purpose and A Daughter’s Destiny. She lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. They have two sons.

Bits & Pieces for everyday faith and life

3 Ways to Jumpstart Your Prayer Life

If we’re honest, there are times in our relationship with God where prayer can feel flat, rote, or downright lifeless. Here are three ways to jumpstart your prayer life this week: 1. Write them down. Choose to record your prayers in written form in a notebook or journal each day this week.

Joy in Journaling

Daily practices like journaling matter. There’s something about recording what we’ve learned that enables it to “stick” more deeply within our system and recall God’s faithfulness. So how can we start journaling and stick with it? Try these tips: 1. Get a journal you can take with you everywhere you go—it doesn’t have to be fancy. 2. Get a pen you like to use. 3. Simply write the date and write down what’s happening in your life, what verse you might be learning, or what God is trying to teach you. 4. If you miss a day or two, don’t beat yourself up. But try to do it more often than not. I’ve found it becomes something that’s just a habit. Excerpted from the Jesus Calling: Stories of Faith web series with guest Max Lucado. Look for Max’s Happy Today: A Guided Journal to Genuine Joy wherever books are sold.

Words of Wisdom

“We cannot let the difficulty of our circumstances define the faithfulness of our God.” ~Lysa TerKeurst

“God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God’s refusals are always merciful—“severe mercies” at times, but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.” ~Elisabeth Elliot

2. Snap a photo. Start a collection of pictures of things, ideas, and people you need to be reminded to pray for. Each time you scroll through photos on your phone, in a scrapbook, or on the refrigerator, speak words of blessing and prayer over them. 3. Only use three. Limit the length of your prayers each day this week. Instead of using long-winded prayers, consider limiting your prayers to three words. As you distill your prayers to their simplest form, reflect on what you’re really saying to God and how much you are trusting Him. Excerpted from churchleaders.com by Margaret Feinberg (January 11, 2019).

Write Us! Please send your short (250 words or less) snippets to: submissions@ justbetweenus.org.

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H O W T O start T H E Y E A R O F F well

Begin at the end. by Catriona Futter

How was 2020 for you? No, you have not misread that—what sort of year was 2020? Seems like an odd question to be asking given that 2020 has just begun. But imagine that you are at the end of this year and you look back and say: That was a good year. What would have had to happen to make it so? I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, believing that they generally only set us up to fail. However, the beginning of a new year is a great time to stop and take an inventory of your life. And the best way to start the year well is to begin at the end.

There are two aspects to this—looking back to the end of the year that has gone and looking ahead to the end of this year. And as we do this, to ask ourselves the two questions I pose most as a Life Coach: Why am I doing what I am doing? and What is most important here. Self-awareness is key in understanding our motivations and deciding our priorities.

Think back with me to last year. What was the year characterised by? Perhaps you had a good year, with celebrations, growth, good opportunities. Or it may have been a difficult year with hardships, poor health, financial struggles, or loss. Chances are it was somewhere in between. But as you think about last year, pay attention to the emotions that are surfacing. How would you describe yourself as the year ended? What words immediately spring to mind? Pause with God for a few moments as you reflect on that. Now consider all the people you connect with each week, in the various roles and responsibilities that you have. Be brave and ask yourself a thornier question: How would those people describe me last year? How would they have perceived you and what would their experience be of you in that role?

As I think back to last year and my own roles, how would my teenage girls have experienced me as a mom—distracted, frazzled, nagging? Or present to them, encouraging, prayerfully supportive, fun? Would my husband say that I was disengaged, complacent, and focused on other things, or supportive, affirming, and cherishing him? As a life coach, was I striving and trying to run my business in my own strength, or was I surrendering to God and His will and timing for my work and plans? How present was I as a friend, daughter, sister? As a church member, did I focus more on what I didn’t like in the services, or did I come to church seeking to worship and bless God and encourage? As a follower of Jesus, was I content and joy-full, or stressed and busy like almost everyone else? This is not about guilt or shame. What is important here is who we are becoming more than what we are doing, and to understand that we need to know where we are starting from. So, as you reflect on how other people may have perceived and experienced you last year, what stands out about your character?

Bring that to Jesus in conversation. Imagine you have gone for a walk with Him, or sat with Him with a coffee, and you are discussing the year ahead. Because we are not alone in any of this: we are fully known and deeply loved by Someone who wants the very best for us. As you talk with Jesus, ask Him: • Jesus, what are Your plans for my year? • How are You inviting me to address this aspect of my character that You are highlighting? • How would this change things? • What are You wanting to grow in me? • What is one thing that You are inviting me to surrender to You this year?

I M A G I N E T H AT Y O U ARE AT THE end O F T H I S Y E A R A N D YOU look B A C K A N D S AY: T H AT WA S A good Y E A R . W H AT W O U L D H AV E HAD TO happen TO MAKE IT SO?

just between us SPRING 2020 16 just between us SPRING 2020 16 We cannot do this in our own strength—this is not about trying harder. It is important that we recognize our frailty and come instead to God in surrender and dependence, seeking His strength, His love, His grace, and His hand at work in our lives.

Take some time to work through these questions, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide and direct your thoughts.

This is primarily about who we are becoming in the year ahead. Let’s consider next what we want to be doing. Go back to that question I posed at the start: What will have to happen this year for you to look back and say, that was a good year?

What do you want the year to be characterized by? What do you want to do more of? Less of? Now of course, we cannot possibly know all that this year will hold, and some of what happens in our lives is out of our control—illness, unemployment, death, sudden and unexpected changes. But what we can control is ourselves: our choices and responses to what is happening to us. One of the fruits of the spirit is self-control. I know that I so often get things skewed and try and control that which is external, but fail to control my own emotions and responses.

W E C A N S TA R T T H E Y E A R W I T H ACTION steps A N D S I M P L E goals T H AT A R E I N L I N E W I T H W H AT G O D I S D O I N G I N U S A N D W H AT H I S priorities A R E F O R U S I N T H E COMING year.

But we are the ones who choose how we use our time, how we respond to events that happen to us, how we prioritize what is most important. We choose what we say yes to, and whenever we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else.

How do we make this practical and achievable? Perhaps this week take some time to work through the following exercise. This is a gift you are giving not only to yourself, but to all those you connect with.

Make a list of the major categories of your life: significant relationships, family, friends, health, finances, work (paid or unpaid), spiritual and personal growth, fun and recreation, and home. For each category ask yourself: • What do I want to have achieved by the end of this year? • What one change could I make that will help me get there that I can start doing now? Keep it simple, specific and relevant. • What do I stand to lose by not doing this? What are some of the obstacles that are going to get in my way? As I consider this, what am I most afraid of? • Write down your plans, tell someone for support and accountability, and prayerfully and regularly review your plans, asking: why am I doing what I am doing, and what is most important here? In this way, we can start the year with action steps and simple goals that are in line with what God is doing in us and what His priorities are for us in the coming year.

And finally, and most importantly, remember that God is in charge; we are not! The Sovereign Creator of the Universe, Immanuel God with us (Luke 1:23), He is the One who says to us: “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me” (Matt. 11:29). What is most exciting about the year ahead is that we get to partner with Jesus!

In John 10:10 Jesus promises us life to the full. As we envision with Him what kind of year we want to have, let us partner with Jesus to steward well who He has made us to be and to make proactive and intentional choices about what He has given us to do that align ourselves with that vision.

Catriona Futter is a Christian life coach and speaker who is passionate about equipping people to discover and live out their unique, God-given identity and purpose. She runs her own business Equip for Life Coaching, offering individual coaching, team coaching, and speaking. She lives in Glasgow, Scotland, with her husband and two teenage daughters. She blogs at http://equipforlifecoaching.com/blog/.

30th Anniversary Spotlight Thanks to JBU a Message of Gratitude Sweeps the World!

A SWEEP OF GRATITUDE

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Melvin can teach us a thing or two about being thankful. by Lynda Elliott It began when my friend, Carolyn, and I met for breakfast in Little Rock on Black Fri day. Red and green lights twinkled around the door and windows of the Satellite Café. Even at 8 a.m. there was a waiting line. Custom ers stood in groups, rubbing their cold hands together, waiting to share a hot breakfast before swarming into the stores for bargains. I could feel the cheery excitement of the holidays, but it was laced with the usual stress that spoils the season with layers of anxiety and fatigue. Carolyn and I were seated by a large window, and it had begun to drizzle outside. “Oh, no,” I groaned. “We’re going to be dashing around in the rain!” “Every year,” responded Carolyn, “I promise myself that I won’t get into a frenzy the next year, but I always find myself stressed all over again!” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an elder ly man on the other side of the window, making his way carefully down the sidewalk. He was car rying a black umbrella in his left hand, shelter ing himself from the rain, and balancing several brooms on his right shoulder. Beneath a thin gray coat, he was dressed in a plaid flannel shirt and brown pants. A striped ski cap protected his head and thick glasses covered his eyes. As I watched, he smiled and stepped politely aside to allow a couple to rush by. “Who’s that?” I asked. “That’s Melvin. He put several of his children through college selling those brooms. He’s almost blind and in his seventies, but he keeps on keep ing on. I don’t know how he does it.” Melvin ducked through the doorway into the restaurant. Waiting customers smiled and cleared the way for him. A few shook his hand, others patted his shoulder as he moved quietly from ta ble to table, smiling and asking, “Do you need a broom today?” Suddenly the Holy Spirit spoke to me: Interview him. Instantly, I was energized. When the elderly gentleman approached our table, I made a pur chase, then said, “Melvin, I’m a writer, and I won der if you might let me interview you. I have a hunch that your life is very special.” Melvin paused and thought for a moment. Then he smiled. “I’ve been asked to do a lot of interviews and I’ve always said no. But this time I’ll say yes.” We set a time to meet the next Friday for break fast. I felt unexpected anticipation, as if Melvin might be bringing me good tidings of great joy. After all, it was the season for it! Exactly a week later it wasn’t raining as before, but it was windy and cold. Melvin shook my hand at the front door. “It’s a blessing to get a hot breakfast on a cold morning, isn’t it?” Melvin took a sip of coffee, then sat tall in his chair. “There’s one thing I need to make very clear,” he announced. “I love Jesus. That is the most important thing. My mother died when I was born. I never knew my daddy. My grand mother raised me and she was a wonderful per son. I’ve been married to one lady for 45 years. Jesus has always been good to me. I owe every thing I am and have to Him. I’m a thankful man.” This is a man with a message, bing my pen and notebook from my purse. When the waitress brought our overloaded plates, I asked Melvin about his eyesight. “I was born this way,” he replied. “I can see a little bit, but my wife, Dorothy, was born totally blind. People didn’t think we could make it, but we’ve raised five children. She was even the first black woman to get a music degree from the univer sity. The Lord has always given us work. Before she retired, she taught music to handicapped children. Me, I’m 72 and still working. I can’t see much, but I don’t feel handicapped because God helps me do whatever I need to do.” The words of Paul echoed in my mind: “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Phil. 4:13). With his love for Jesus and his determined spirit, Melvin was living proof. hands around his cup of coffee. “I’ve been happy in life because I made up my mind when I was a very young man that I wanted to help people. Life’s not about what somebody will do for you. It’s all about what you can do for somebody else. “I’VE BEEN HAPPY IN LIFE BECAUSE I MADE UP MY MIND WHEN I WAS A VERY YOUNG MAN THAT I WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE. LIFE’S NOT ABOUT WHAT SOMEBODY WILL DO FOR YOU. IT’S ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. I LOVE GOD AND I LOVE PEOPLE.” —MELVIN

Just Between Us magazine content has been rich and rewarding over the last three decades. Throughout our 30-year anniversary celebration, we will be highlighting some of our favorite stories that have appeared in the magazine, hoping to refresh your soul, make you smile, and take you down memory lane with us.

In this issue, we are spotlighting a special story about an elderly man who had been selling brooms for 60 years. It has appeared twice in JBU, most recently in the winter 2019 issue. We asked the author, Lynda Elliott, to write a follow-up about Melvin Pickens and how God used JBU in amazing ways to help him continue his “Sweep of Gratitude.”

The week after “A Sweep of Gratitude” was first printed in Just Between Us magazine in 2004 ( just before Thanksgiving), a Jewish friend of mine suggested that we have a special day of sales for Melvin and his brooms. She asked Satellite Café (where it all began) if we could borrow their front porch and set up sales for his brooms. The owners of Satellite knew Melvin well and were happy for us to set up free coffee and donuts outside on their porch, even though they were selling the very same things inside!

Many friends and I sent out emails to everyone we knew, asking them to come and buy brooms, also asking them to send emails to those they knew. Melvin was so excited, even though he never dreamed how successful he would be. The line of those waiting to buy a broom was early, long, and out of sight! We had copied JBU’s article and taped it to every broom and tied it with a red bow! Satellite Café was decorated for Christmas and we played Christmas carols on an old boom box! The atmosphere was very festive!

By noon, Melvin had sold all of his brooms. We could hardly keep up with all the money! He asked me to take him home, because he was afraid that his neighbors would hear about it and steal all of his money. When we arrived at Melvin’s house, I saw that it was a very small, wood house on stilts in the poorest section of town. Rain had caused a flood under his house, but he had a wooden walkway across the water to his front door, so he could enter his home. I could see that he and his blind wife Dorothy had many needs.

We did not have to worry, however, because as a result of the JBU article, people stopped Melvin on the street and bought all the brooms he could carry. Others called him and ordered his brooms as favors for large parties. One couple bought him a new refrigerator, just as his refrigerator died. People sent money. Another friend painted an oil portrait of Melvin, using a photo of him holding his brooms. Neither he nor Dorothy could see, but his children could.

Our family took him food and cash. Melvin asked, “I have been a deacon in my church for 50 years. I have never had a suit to wear, or a white shirt and tie. Would it be okay for me to use some of this money for that?” Of course, it was!

It is amazing to see the plan God had to use an old blind man who walked the streets of Arkansas and sold brooms, who could not read, write, or drive and who had never left town to send his message of gratitude all over the world via JBU! As long as he lived (until a year ago), people continued to buy brooms from him.

One woman said, “I have a closet full of Melvin’s brooms that I have never used, but there is just no way to refuse to buy from him. Truly, Melvin left a sacred symbol of God’s love and care— red brooms and on many, blessings from JBU. I miss him.

~Lynda Elliott

To read Melvin’s story in JBU Go to justbetweeus.org and type in “A Sweep of Gratitude.”

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