Bayou Packet #33

September 2004

The Bayou Packet # 33

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An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, kith and kin of Jess Epps

Last published at Christmas 1999

Paternal Cousin Edith Joyce (ROYAL) Martin and Paternal Aunt Mary Evelyn (BUDJENSKA) Epps are two of my many favorite kin folk. Neither use computers but instead write lengthy informative notes with their greetings on birthdays, holidays and special occasions. I very much appreciate their efforts and have long intended to express this to them — which is what I am doing now.

This update of the affairs of this Tribe of the Epps Clan is for them, and a few other computer-challenged souls of my acquaintance. Some of you who are e-mail correspondents will recognize parts herein from previous writings. You can skip them if you will but don't think that updates and revisions have not been made.

Joyce writes that husband Clarence Murphy Martin has sleep apnea which I have long thought that I may have but have yet to consult a doctor. Murphy has been fighting heart problems for several years but still managed to publish his book: Front Row Seat — A Veteran Reporter Relives the Four Decades That Reshaped America. The book covers his career as a television anchorman/correspondent from the Piney Woods of East Texas to the anchor desk at ABC-TV — then after five years there — back to Dallas and all the excitement of the top stories, and people he got to know up close and personal. Fine job and good read. Therein, I was pleased to learn that ol' Harry S. Truman felt back then, as I still do, about that MiLKing guy. I guess I will have to wait for the sequel to find out the real truth about the JFK assassination.

Joyce's daddy was my Uncle John Ilo Royal who took me hunting, fishing or golfing almost every weekend of my schooldays. He never baited my hook or teed my ball but showed me how. To his tutelage I owe earning every sharpshooter medal available in the US Navy Seabees.

Aunt Mary has been suffering Lupus Disease bravely for a number of years. She is the widow of my paternal Uncle Sam Houston Epps, who because of his age was more like a cousin to me. The weariest I have ever been, then or since, is the first day I helped him carry his Schepps Beer route. Beer kegs are heavy and I wasn't that big — being the smallest boy in my high school graduating class.

A long while back, before the millinium, Aunt Mary's daughter, my Paternal Cousin Mary Epps Jr. sent me the following poem as “something I (she) thought you (I) would enjoy:” The pessimist curses the wind The optimist hopes it will change The realist adjusts the sails And she’s right. Very good, very thoughty and very apropos, as long as one remembers the words of Seneca (4 B.C. — A.D. 65): There is no such thing as a favorable wind for a man who has no idea where he is going.

I was deeply grieved to learn of Paternal Cousin Robert Bailey "Bob" Allen's death. I wasn't even aware that he had Leukemia, or had moved his family to Florida. That explains why my e-mail to him in Georgia was returned. Bob and I and Maternal Cousin Jewell Dean "Jack" White were constant companions during high school and after the war. I am very proud that every eligible Epps and all kinsmen answered the call to WWII — and all came back — which can't be said for a lot of my friends.

September 2004

The Bayou Packet # 33

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An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, kith and kin of Jess Epps

Our family "network" needs working on. I sorely miss the family reunions we used to have.

The infamous day of 2001/09/11 was a double-whammy event for us, as Wife Betsy Anna (Hoffman) Epps was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma just after the terrorists did their dastardly deeds. She (and I) went through some tough times during her Chemotherapy treatments. After primary therapy, she was declared in complete remission, and then relapse. The second session caused her to lose most of her hair but she never had the nausea which usually occurs. It has grown back fully now being at first really curly. She is doing well, recent CT scans and Bone marrow tests are good. Side effects contacted are Type 2 Diabetes and a very fragile immune system, requiring frequent monitoring.

I am still practicing Architecture (now in my recently purchased floating office) docked across the dock from our boat: Archangele, a 45' Dufour 12000CT pilothouse ketch. Some of the projects recently completed are a Control Center for Buckeye Pipeline Company in Mont Belvieu, an office building for the Enos Law Firm in Webster, an office and warehouse for RTG Building Company in La Porte, a clinic for Marr Chiropractors in League City, and Villa Lanier for Attorney and Mrs. W. Mark Lanier in Spring. The last one, a humongus house project requiring demolition, remodeling, and new additions, was done in association with one of my best friends: Architect Sandford Columbus Whitaker in Lubbock who has been battling bone cancer for a long while now, and who also broke his hip. His prognosis is good — his doctor just told him he would live a long life — and he's older than me.

I've still got all my hair, all my teeth, and most of my marbles. For those who haven't seen me in the past year, I have a full beard (in a van dyke cut) which I started when we embarked on the Grand Adventure last fall. For those who haven't seen me in a long while, I have had a mustache since we brought our boat back from Sint Maarten in 1994. That 18 days at sea, stopping only at Grand Cayman, was a memorable adventure also.

A 'Van Dyke' is a variation of a goatee with a mustache, named after the 17th century Flemish painter, Sir Anthony Van Dyck (also spelled Van Dyke).

I just turned 77 and am still kicking but not quite so high after breaking my right hip. I started the last new year with a bang, or a crack — like in the femoral neck fracture of my right hip — thus:

This happened on Thursday night of New Year's Day whilst walking the dogs. Betsy and I had just 4 days earlier returned from Progreso, Yucatan, Mexico where we celebrated our anniversary and Christmas. Despite missing our families, we had a grand time.

A partial hip replacement was required, using special metallic implants that have a polished spherical surface to match with the joint socket and a strong stem to fit within the central marrow canal of the thighbone. The prosthetic implants are secured to the bone with a rapid-setting plastic cement. Thus:

September 2004

The Bayou Packet # 33

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An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, kith and kin of Jess Epps

God, Girly, what a gash. My scar, with 37 staples. Nice ass, huh? Well, it has been chewed on for 77 years.

I hope this explains why some of you didn’t hear from me for a while.

The Rest of the Story It started out as a beautiful night — last New Year's day, a Thursday. As usual, about 10 PM, Blue, Ruby and I were walking my cigar. I was showing the kids some of the navigation stars and pontificating on how much more vivid they are at sea. and promising them they could go on my next voyage.

Whilst I was engrossed in my musings, they took a wrap around my legs and I toppled over. This is not the first time I've been roped, but it is the first I've been throwed. I laid there in the street — bewildered at how my right leg was askance. After taking stock of the situation, I determined that I could not rise.

I was about 200 feet from my back door and about the same distance from another building with people inside. I hollered "Help!", and I hollered "Betsy", hoping she could hear me over the TV — to no avail. I tried crawling with 2 arms and one leg, dragging the other — but soon got tuckered out. So I resumed yelling — still to no avail.

About 30 minutes later, during which time no cars came by, Betsy figured I had been gone an inordinate long time and came out the back door looking for me. After I advised her of my worst fears, she called 911. A Seabrook policeman was the first to arrive. Some of his first words were to ask me what kind of cigar I was smoking — I still had it going. I told Betsy to go get him one of my finest.

The paramedics arrived, and with great pain, got me in the ambulance. I agonized all day Friday and Friday night before being operated on on Saturday morning. They had me up and walking, a little, the same day. I went to therapy twice a week and am progressing well.

It's official now, when I got my staples out, my surgeon said I was tougher than a bear. Just like in the poem that goes: "I'll lay me down and bleed a while, and rise and fight again."

Four years ago on Labor Day weekend of 2000, I had a massive heart attack. Then in winter of 2001, surgery to insert a bifurcated stent in the main artery coming out of the bottom of my heart to repair an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm (AAA). In spring of 2002, I contacted Shingles. And on Betsy's birthday last year, I broke two ribs.

September 2004

The Bayou Packet # 33

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An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, kith and kin of Jess Epps

La Aventura Grande — Part I The big adventure began at at 0740 Saturday 15 November 2003 when we cast off the lines and set sail for Progreso, Yucatan, Mexico.

550 nautical miles at 150 degrees true course. We missed all of you, of course, but the siren's song called — loud and clear.

Crew was Captain Aaron Pierce and wife Kim; attorney Raleigh Van Trease and his guitar; and myself. Betsy decided to not subject her fragile immune system to the Mexican bugs and is going to stay home with the kids. She was in touch with us daily by satellite telephone — giving us up-to-date weather reports.

For the first 3 days we motor-sailed with a steadying mainsail only — with the wind and waves right on our nose. Bunks, clothes and everything else wet from taking a wave with hatches open while still inside the Galveston Jetties. Then the South wind veered 180 degrees and came from the North — with a vengeance. At about this time, the generator quit (later determined to be out of fuel); then the alternator quit (later determined due to loose wire); then the engine quit (out of fuel) — so the North wind was a godsend.

Four and one-half days later, we sailed into Yucalpetên Club de Yates (Yacht Club) at 1715 on Wednesday 19 November 2003 — making up to 10 knots under jib alone. Surfing down 12 foot waves with a force 8 wind behind us. One of the most exhilarating sails in my long experience.

The S/V Archangele, a 45 foot Dufour 12000CT pilothouse ketch, was then put in a yard at Karim Moises UC Roche in Yucalpeten for a bottom job. Scheduled to splash next Monday.

Aaron and I flew back on Saturday 13 December 2003. Betsy came down the following Thursday to join me in paradise for the holidays.

Aaron returned on the 23rd for Christmas at home.

La Aventura Grande — Part II Archangele started her voyage home — stuck in the mud. While we waited about an hour for the tide to rise, the new generator quit. At 0745 on Monday 10 May 2004, we departed Yucalpetên Club de Yates (Yacht Club), Progreso, Yucatan, Mexico in a light East wind, on a flat sea, under a partly cloudy sky — conditions that would prevail except for wind strength until we neared the Texas coast. "We" are Captain Aaron Pierce, Preacher John Mincher, Ed Guice and me: Commodore Jess Epps.

At 1000 we must have passed over a reef because John, quite fittingly our designated fisherman, caught a barracuda — our only fish of the trip. At 1240 we turned off the engine and enjoyed the quiet of pure sailing at 6-7 knots (with the easy convenience of the auto-pilot).

Life was absolutely fabulous.

Then the hydraulic steering quit, and resultantly caused the auto-pilot to quit — forcing us to hand-steer the rest of the way with the emergency tiller which requires constant attention. It was at that moment that I suspected we had a stowaway named Murphy aboard. At 1845 on Tuesday, the main halyard broke. The search for Murphy began in earnest.

At 1130 on Wednesday, we are half-way home — over 250 miles to the nearest land — when the highlight of our trip occurs. We have a wee visitor. While I am driving, a small black scissor-tail bird with yellow breast lands on the steering wheel just inches from my face and then perches on my finger. Later he rests in the main salon for a while. I am by then lying in the cockpit when he flies out and lands in my lap — allowing me to pet him. We are all quite sad when he flies away. It was later determined that he was a Barn Swallow, that performs long migrations; some that breed in North America winter as far south as Argentina. Like other swallows, they migrate by day, often feeding as they travel. They are swift and graceful fliers, and it is estimated that they cover as much as 600 miles (1,000 kilometers) a day. They normally eat insects, which explains why he refused the bread we offered him. Since Barn swallows migrate in large groups. this little fellow was off course, of course.

We are at about this time at Sigsbee Deep, at a depth of more than 12,000 feet, it is the deepest part of the gulf. It is more than 300 miles long and is sometimes called the “Grand Canyon under the sea.” At 1600, Aaron gets the generator repaired. The wind rises and we take a reef in the main. At 2000, we have steaks and baked potatoes for dinner. Life is definitely good again.

September 2004

The Bayou Packet # 33

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An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, kith and kin of Jess Epps

Thursday evening, we are nearing the "Flower Garden Banks National Marine Sanctuary," the northernmost tropical coral reefs in the U.S. The following quote is from the http://flowergarden.noaa.gov/ website: "Picture yourself over 100 miles from land, in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. At times, the seas can be very unforgiving, and the weather can turn foul in an instant. But here, in the midst of this unpredictable Gulf, lie three of the most beautiful and wild places in all the world. Manta rays, whale sharks, coral heads that are bigger than cars, hundreds of species of fish and invertebrates..."

All of us excepting Ed have been here before to dive the reefs and dodge the sharks. A truly unique place that we will not be able to enjoy this time. After dark we get hit by 3 Northers in a row — in the middle of May! Murphy, where are you?

At 2330 on Friday we are finally at the Galveston Jetties. We arrive at the gas dock at 0145 on Saturday morning 18 May 2004, completing our crossing in 4 days and 18 hours. We spend the night, clear immigrations, re-fuel and leave for Seabrook — fighting a head wind and current all the way. Home again. Life is great.

This grand adventure began last November and resulted in many new friends and a refit for Archangele. All of our thanks to those who helped. We love Progeso and we will return — soon.

La Aventura Grande was indeed a grand adventure.

One of the many joys of sailing is watching the dolphins cavort before the bow. They say that dolphins are naughty children who taunted Neptune from the safety of the shore. In his anger, the god sent a great wave to sweep the children off their rock and drown them, but old Nereus did not have the heart to see them killed, and so gathered them up and changed them into fish, instead. Seeing the sleek dark shapes dart and glide, splashing in and out of the waves, slicing the wake with their agile fins, and weaving trails of bubbles as they roll and spin in the water — I can well believe it. I love the dolphins.

Neptune was the name that ancient Romans gave to the Greek god of the sea and earthquakes, Poseidon. He was the brother of Jupiter (Zeus) and of Pluto (Hades). After the defeat of their father Saturn (Cronos), the three brothers divided the world in three parts to be ruled by one of the three brothers. Jupiter took the sky, Neptune the sea and Pluto the underworld. Neptune had the reputation for having a violent temper. Tempests and earthquakes were a reflection of his furious rage. He was depicted as a bearded men holding a trident and seated in a seashell drawn by sea-horses. One day Neptune saw the water nymph Amphitrite dancing in the island of Naxos and fell in love with her. He promptly asked her to marry him but unfortunately she refused. However, not discouraged by Amphitrite refusal, Neptune sent one of his servants, a dolphin, to look for her. The dolphin found her, and pleaded Neptune's cause so persuasively that she changed her mind. As a reward for finding and returning Amphitrite to him, Neptune immortalized the dolphin by placing it in the heavens as the constellation Dolphinus.

Nereus, in Greek Mythology, was the God of the Sea, Prophecy and Knowledge, prior to being supplanted by Poseidon when the latter's brother Zeus overthrew Cronus. Traditionally he was the righteous and all-wise "old man of the sea", god of the Mediterranean Sea and son of Gaia. He had prophetic powers and the ability to change his shape. Nereus mated with one of the Oceanids (Doris) and became the father of fifty daughters called Nereids [nee're-idz]; three of these are important: Thetis [thee'tis], Galatea [gal-a-tee'a], and Amphitrite [am-fi-treye'tee]. Nereids are beautiful and often, but not always, depicted as mermaids; and usually they can change their shape.

September 2004

The Bayou Packet # 33

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An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, kith and kin of Jess Epps

Daughter Lesley Elayne (Epps) Bowen and Husband Ken have recently purchased a Curves Fitness Center for Women in Richardson which is reportedly doing well with over 400 members. We had a very nice visit, as always, when she came down for Father's Day.

Curves (Urban Renewal by Lesley and Ken) Brother David Oscar "Dink" Epps and wife Peggy have recently returned from a Scandinavian trip. Must be nice to be getting four retirement checks.

Betsy’s Son David Andrew Gacke and family: wife April Marie (SCROGGINS) Gacke and boys Jacob “Jake” Ryan Gacke and Joshua “Josh” Allen Gacke are in the midst of moving from Lebanon to La Pine (near Bend), Oregon because of job transfer.

Another of my best friends Reubin E. Harle, who has been working in Viet Nam and China for over 10 years has pleasured me with two visits this summer. He says that every time he thinks about growing up — he back slides.

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. The article read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished....and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Old Bushmills, a bottle of armagnac, a bottle of Pinot Grigio, some valium, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freakin’ good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of Inner Peace. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Now, hear this Please flush both Johns on election day — after you take a dump on Michael Moore and Kitty Kelley.

September 2004

The Bayou Packet # 33

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An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, kith and kin of Jess Epps

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

J SE2 _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jess Stimpson “Wink” Epps, Jr. — AIA / CSI Husband of Betsy Anna (HOFFMAN) GACKE Ex-husband of Pollyanna (LOVE) SUMBLIN Father of Lesley Elayne (EPPS) BOWEN Brother of David Oscar EPPS Son of Jess Stimpson EPPS and Martha Olivia McCAIN Paternal Grandson of David Thomas EPPS and Martha Ann “Mattie“ RAMBO Maternal Grandson of Samuel Oscar McCAIN and Ida Giss LESTER Paternal Great-grandson of Joel Stimpson EPPS and Anna HARKEY Paternal Great-grandson of Jesse Clinton RAMBO and Lauzy CHAPMAN Maternal Great-grandson of Rev. William Franklin McCAIN and Elizabeth Olivia ACKER Maternal Great-grandson of Elisha Lockhart LESTER and Martha A. "Mattie" SULLIVAN 817 Bryan Avenue (West Corner at 5th Street) (Old) Seabrook, TX 77586-3814 P.O. Box 476 Seabrook, TX 77586-0476 Telephones: 281+474-2292 Residence + Office 281+468-4626 Mobile Jess 281+433-1483 Mobile Betsy Faxes: 281+474-5002 Office 561-760-8113 Office via E-Mail E-Mail: Jess Epps: JessEpps@mac.com Betsy Epps: BetsyEpps@mac.com _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows ?