Bayou Packet #38

Juneteenth 2008

The Bayou Packet # 38

Page 1 of 4

An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, brothers, kith and kin of Jess Epps

Dearest Betsy, Two of our dearest friends are on the way to join you and the Grand Architect of the Universe. John Wall was “called from earthly labor” on 22 January 2008. I attended his memorial service in Dallas with Ed Guice, and discovered later that John was a Masonic Brother, gone to the Celestial Lodge above. Sanford Whitaker passed through the veil of tears into a better place on 17 April 2008. I was honored to be an honorary pallbearer at his memorial service in Lubbock.

My condolences to widows Irma and Diane.

Sanford Columbus Whitaker

Sanford Columbus Whitaker. That’s a mouthful – and he was a handful.

We met as freshmen architectural students at Texas Tech in 1946, his first words being: “My name is Sanford Columbus Whitaker, I’m from Peacock, Texas, and I just want to be your friend” – a leitmotif greeting, which along with his sine qua non twisted (culebra) cigar defined his character as a selfproclaimed “Erudite Redneck.”

We became the very best of friends, sharing a mutual admiration for each other’s character and creativity. In addition to our great love of architecture we shared several other passions, including sailing, chess, dogs, cigars, Armagnac, patriotism and extreme conservatism.

Dearest Diane, Thank you for the letter. It touched my heart.

Whit and I had a very special relationship, which I will cherish always.

Jess

I have many fond memories of our many escapades aka “Adventures,” many of which were monitored, and some supervised, by Betsy. These will provide an inexhaustible source for future tales of Whit. And his Whitticisms.

The Bayou Packet # 38

Juneteenth 2008

Page 2 of 4

An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, brothers, kith and kin of Jess Epps

I am very pleased and proud to announce that after being initiated as an Entered Apprentice Mason, then passed to the degree of Fellow Craft Mason, and subsequently raised to the sublime degree of Master Mason, I attained the 32nd degree in Scottish Rite masonry on Saturday 16 February 2008 at the Galveston Scottish Rite Cathedral, AASR, Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry, the "Mother Consistory of Texas", Valley of Galveston, Orient of Texas, of the Southern Jurisdiction of the United States of America.

All, as my Daddy did afore me.

The Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite The Scottish Rite is one of two largest concordant bodies of Freemasonry in which a Master Mason may proceed after he has completed the three degrees of Craft lodge masonry. The Scottish Rite work expands and elaborates on the lessons of the three Craft lodge degrees. As with Freemasonry, the Scottish Rite is not a religion, and it is nondenominational, although it does require a belief in a Supreme Being.

The Scottish Rite, sometimes called the "College of Freemasonry", uses extensive dramatic plays and allegory to emphasize the messages of its degrees.

A freemason, after viewing these dramas, will eventually attain the 32nd degree in Scottish Rite masonry. To a non-mason this may sound like the member is a high ranking mason, however, this would be a misconception. The highest degree in Freemasonry is the 3rd or Master Mason degree. Degrees as they relate to the Scottish Rite indicate the level of knowledge that a Master Mason has attained. It would be rather awkward to allude to a member as an Act 32 freemason. In the Scottish Rite, the 33rd degree, an honorary degree, is bestowed on members of the Scottish Rite who have given outstanding service to Freemasonry or to their communities. This I aspire to and will work toward.

In the Scottish Rite a Master Mason may become a member of three bodies — Lodge of Perfection, Rose Croix, and Consistory. The Twelfth Degree of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite, and the Ninth Degree of the Ineffable Series is the degree of Grand Master Architect – especially important to me.

The degree of Grand Master Architect is alleged to have been established as a school of instruction for the more advanced workmen of the Temple, to assure uniformity in work, vigor in its prosecution, and to reward those more eminent in science and skill. The degree partakes of a scientific nature, in which the rule of architecture and the connection of the liberal arts with Masonry are dwelt upon, and portions of the Fellow Craft or Companion degree are amplified and extensively illustrated. This grade requires of the neophyte that he be thoroughly qualified intellectually and morally, to be admitted, and instructs him that virtue is as necessary as talents to every Grand Master Architect.

“Freemasonry is a beautiful system of morality, veiled in allegory, and illustrated by symbols.” – Hemming Freemasonry is "veiled in allegory and illustrated by symbols" because these are the surest way by which moral and ethical truths may be taught. It is not only with the brain and with the mind that the initiate must take Freemasonry but also with the heart. – C. H. Claudy

Grand Master Architect Lecture It is the true Masonic Light. He who obeys the Masonic law shall find it.

The degree which you seek was first conferred upon Adoniram, the son of Abda, when he was appointed Chief Architect of the Temple, and as such the successor of the Master Hiram Abiff after having been for a time the chief of the five Intendants of the Building, and after his skill and science as an architect had been thoroughly tested, and he found to be superior to the other four Intendants. It was but the ceremony of his investiture with that office. Afterward it became an honorary degree, conferred first upon the other Intendants, and then upon the Elus, as a mark of honor and distinction.As he advanced, the ancient Freemason ceased to work with the instruments of the laborer the square, the level, the plumb, and the trowel, and assumed those of the Architect and Geometrician. As he advanced, also, he passed from that branch of geometry and mathematics which occupies itself with the earth, its surface and the things, that belong to it, with right lines and angles, and all the figures formed thereby, to the mathematics of the heavens and the spheres. We no longer occupy ourselves with geometry and mathematics as sciences, nor expect of our initiates a knowledge of their problems, or even of their terms.

To us the instruments of the geometrician, and all the figures, plane and spherical, drawn by these instruments, have a symbolical meaning. By means of the morality of Masonry, we advance toward its philosophy, and every degree is a step in that direction. If you would succeed to the rank held by Adoniram, you must assume the obligation which it imposes.

Juneteenth 2008

The Bayou Packet # 38

Page 3 of 4

An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, brothers, kith and kin of Jess Epps

I've read in an article (see below) that architects are the sexiest male professionals. In another article I've read that the profession of architect is the worst paid profession in the world. Conclusion: Women love poor architects. In Belgium one in thousand people is an architect. If this one architect is poor and all the other people are women, that means that every architect has a thousand admirers. Of course, those 999 women all want to build a house with you as an architect. That means you have a lot of work and you get rich so they'll dump you. That means a poor architect is twice as happy. Not only has he had a thousand women, he also gets rich. If you really want to be happy, you must marry those women first. Your own wife doesn't need to pay you. You'll also be building for yourself. Building for a thousand women will definitely bankrupt you but they'll love you for it. Besides, you'll be happier building for yourself making your own decisions. Don't forget to make the design fee higher than the divorce costs. Unless you decide to live in the Middle-East where you can be married to a thousand women at the same time. But this is not advisable. You better throw each wife out who loves you after you built for her. Never own your own house but always stay at your wife's place so she can kick you out after you got rich by building for her at an immensely high fee. To make this work you can only give your bill at the end of your marriage. After getting kicked out a thousand times you'll feel even poorer than before. That gives you the opportunity to attract even more women. More than the original thousand. Maybe two thousand. Then you can steal the thousand women of another poor architect. The more you're kicked out, the more competition you delete. The poorest architect therefore has market monopoly, is rich, sexy, polygamist and successful at the same time. So if you are a poor architect with no wife and no success whatsoever, don't panic, it can only get worse.

Be Careful What You Wish For A German who persuaded doctors to give him a second penis has lost his wife after he showed her the result.

Biker Michael Gruber, 40, lost his original penis in a motorbike accident and doctors built him a second one using a mixture of skin, bone and other tissues from his own body.

The penis worked so well that he was even able to father a child with his wife Bianca, 25, and their son Etienne was born last year.

But Gruber was still not happy and asked doctors to repeat the operation and build him a better organ, to which they agreed.

However, before removing the first penis doctors said they needed to make sure the new tissue transplant was a success, and had to leave the first penis in place.

Dr Markus Kuentscher, a plastic surgeon at Berlin's Accident Hospital, said: "We left the old one attached until the new one is properly supplied with blood."

But when Gruber showed his wife his double penis, she went home, packed her bags and left.

From his hospital bed he said: "I've got two penises but no wife, but I am hoping when I get rid of one of the penises I will get her back."

His testicles are intact and will be connected to what is actually his third penis when doctors are happy the operation was a success.

His story was recently featured on a German TV documentary called: “The Last Penis Operation.�

Juneteenth 2008

The Bayou Packet # 38

Page 4 of 4

An irregular irreverent confabulation for the edification and delectation of podjos, friends, brothers, kith and kin of Jess Epps

An Adventure on Blue's Mountain (A Jellyfish Look-Alike Gets Wolfed) The Houston Chronicle recently had a contest for “The Worst Thing My Dog Ever Ate.” One entry read “My sweet, sweet dog Abby eats rats. Alive or dead, 3-D or flat on the road. ...” Here’s mine:

Your Loving Husband: Jess Jess Epps, 32º AASR Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite Valley of Galveston Mother Consistory of Texas Orient of Texas

When my 14 year old boy Blue, an Australian Cattle Dog, was a puppy, we used to hang out at park on a hill that we called Blue's Mountain. Obviously, so did some nighttime lovers, one of whom had left a used condom. Blue apparently mistook this object for a jellyfish, like the ones he had seen on many beach excursions, and wolfed it down before I could stop him. Our vet assured me that I wouldn't catch aids or VD if Blue bit me. All things came to pass without further incident.

Blue’s Birthday Blue’s 14th birthday was Sunday 15 June 2008. Coincidently, and very appropriately, the following picture and article was published that very day.

"The lips of wisdom are closed except to the ears of understanding."

Jess Epps, Architect EPPS ARCHITECTURE CONSULTANCY

Rodrigue Exhibit Sets Record

By Douglas Britt - Copyright Houston Chronicle 2008

Artist George Rodrigue's retrospective at the New Orleans Museum of Art, Rodrigue's Louisiana: Cajuns, Blue Dogs, and Beyond Katrina, has broken the museum's attendance record for an exhibition of work by a living artist.

Rodrigue, Louisiana's most famous contemporary artist, is best known for his iconic paintings and prints of the Blue Dog, based on the Cajun legend of a loup-garou, or werewolf.

That Sunday was also Father’s Day and a special treat for me because my D.O.D. (Darling Only Daughter) Lesley was visiting her D.O.D. (Dear Old Dad).

Ruby will be 12 next week on 25 June 2008. She is still a bundle of energy and joy.

Advice to John McCain (who may be a relative on my maternal ancestry): Stop Ali Baba (as Ed Guice calls the hyphenated-magic-black-muslim) by selecting Hillary Clinton as your VP. Think about it. It would work. You heard it here first.

Mail: P.O. Box 476 Seabrook, TX 77586-0476 Ship: 817 Bryan Avenue (West Corner at 5th Street) Seabrook, TX 77586-3814 Telephones: 281+474-2292 Residence + Office 281+468-4626 Mobile Faxes: 281+474-5002 Office 561+760-8113 Office via E-Mail E-Mail: JessEpps@mac.com

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?