The Jewish Home | JUNE 16, 2022
118
Life C ach
There’s More To You Than That By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
“H
e’s just not for me” or “she’s just not for me.” These are famous last words many people have said about their eventual spouses. What changed? They met! Somehow, pictures and descriptions just don’t seem to convey the essence of a human being. And yet people fight meeting each other time and again.
If G-d wanted us to decide on how we feel about people from pictures and paper, the L-rd would have made us one-dimensional. Somehow, stuffed into the 3-D version of us is a lot that turns out to be indescribable. Hey, you know those glasses they give out to help you see 3-dimensional shows? The ones you throw back into the box as you leave the theater?
Don’t give them back! Wait, I don’t mean don’t give them back… I mean, keep them on in the metaphysical sense. Keep remembering there is more programmed into others than can be seen in a flat photo or a mere verbal description. When we meet people, something intangible happens. We get a flavor of what they are about! A feel for who they are. An awareness of the energy they are sending out. As we speak to them, different parts of them start to turn on. Smiles or ex-
met, can evaporate at “hello” or fragment as you spend a little more time together. Sound familiar?! So, what’s a gal or guy to do? Be bold, be brave! Try it both ways – again and again. There’s just no telling when or how the magic will happen. If the people who sound great show up as a disaster, you tend to think that the people who sound “off” will be even worse. But it seems that’s not really how it works. How do I know?
Somehow, stuffed into the 3-D version of us is a lot that turns out to be indescribable.
pressions may emerge that bring out a different glow. Comments and humor, or warmth and interests, can come to the fore that totally weren’t there on paper. And guess what? It could go the other way! All that stuff that looked and sounded so good, before you willingly
Just ask enough married people and a good percentage of them will tell you that he or she just wasn’t for me on paper and then we met … and the rest is history (or may I say matrimony!). Don’t get stuck in a unidimensional approach. There’s more to you than that!
Rivki Rosenwald is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working with both couples and individuals and is a certified relationship counselor. Rivki is a co-founder and creator of an effective Parent Management of Adolescent Years Program. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or at rivkirosenwald@gmail.com.
