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The Jewish Home | JUNE 16, 2022
teen talk
by Mrs. c. Isbee
Teen Talk ,
2
OctOber 29, 2015 | the Jewish Home
W
e all know that this is a column for teenagers. This week, however, besides a column that would interest teens, I am gearing this towards parents…of all age children. As Father’s Day is this Sunday, I would like to pay tribute to my dear and beloved Abba, Harav Yonasan Binyamin Halevi Jungreis, zecher tzaddik l’vracha. He parented my siblings and me in a most nurturing and empowering way; I believe there is much to be gained from learning about his unique mehalech (way). I could fill volumes depicting his life story. The inner strength he possessed and used to live life as a true eved Hashem, accepting, b’lev shalem, the nisyonos Hashem gave Him is truly admirable. In this column, I will focus on the kinds of interventions and special styles he used daily to make us feel loved and respected by him. In turn, these feelings fostered self-confidence, derech eretz, ahavas Hashem, and ahavas haTorah in his children. ~ When Abba would talk to us, he would mention our names with great warmth many times throughout the conversation. As he would repeat our names, the excitement for just saying our names would be more and more noticeable. It was apparent that as he said each and every one of our names, he felt deep appreciation for these children Hashem gave to him. Abba: “Chayala, how was your test today?” Me: “It was OK. I think I knew most of it.” Abba: “I’m so happy for you, Chayala. I saw you studying hard. Chayala, I’m so proud of you.” ~ Abba would usually use terms of endearment when he would mention our names. Abba: “Rochela, sheifeleh, I’m ready.” Often, however, sheifeleh wasn’t enough. He would have to stick in another term of endearment even in the most mundane conversation. Abba: “Rochela, mein tyereh sheife-
a new colum n in TJH, is ge ared towards th e teens in our com munity. A nswered b rotating ro ya ster of tea chers, reb clinicians beim, , and peers (!), teens w hearing a ill be nswers to many que stions they had percolatin g in their minds and wishe d they ha d the answ ers for.
leh, I’m ready to go with you to the bagel store.” ~ Throughout the day, sporadically, Abba would sing a jingle using one of our names. Can you imagine what it felt like studying on a Sunday afternoon, in our bedrooms, hearing our father downstairs in the dining room, singing a song about one of us? The fact that he was singing about us all through the day demonstrated to us his deep appreciation for his children. Abba: “Layala, ah Layala, mein tyereh, tyereh, Layala. Layala, ah Layala, mein tyereh, tyereh, Layala!” ~ In general, Abba would talk to us in a “sing-song” sort of way. There was a slight tune as he conversed with us, enabling us to be soothed in his presence. Even when he left messages on our voicemail, the tune was present. Abba: “Ari, this is Abba calling, it’s urgent, I love you, call me ba-ack.” (There was so much inflection and emotion in these voice messages.) ~ Whenever we would walk into the house, he would greet us. Even if we went out
Abba: “Look who’s here…BORUCH! It’s so great to see you, Boruch! How was your day?” ~ Abba was our greatest cheerleader. He praised us incessantly. The way he conversed with his children was through compliments. He was overwhelmingly generous with these accolades. He didn’t reserve them for only huge accomplishments. When we would be ready to walk out to school, he paid tribute to us on how we were dressed. When we came home from school with a test or assignment that was returned to us, he congratulated us on how well we performed. If we prepared something for a meal, he always made sure to commend us on how delicious the food
Can you imagine what it felt like studying on a Sunday afternoon, in our bedrooms, hearing our father downstairs in the dining room, singing a song about one of us? for just a short stroll, he would acknowledge our presence when we returned. This recognition made us feel important. Moreover, it made us feel valuable to him. When we returned home from a full day of school, the “Shalom Aleichem” that he used to greet us was filled with enthusiasm and fervor.
was. Even if something we wore had a stain, or the food we prepared was not so edible, or the test we brought home didn’t have a great mark, he made sure to compliment us. He just wanted us to know that he felt good about each and every one of us! Moreover, when he complimented, it was REAL. He didn’t merely commend; he was