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The Jewish Home | JUNE 16, 2022
Parenting Pearls
Dressing Royalty By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
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n April 2011, I was speaking to a British friend of mine and telling her how much I appreciated that all of London was decked out in flowers in honor of my birthday. She laughed knowing that, despite the close proximity of the dates, England was clearly preparing for the royal wedding of Prince William and not my birthday. I’m still waiting for all of Great Britain to celebrate my big day – maybe next year. The royal wedding became the media’s obsession. Everything about the wedding was discussed as if it was life-altering: dresses, hats, cakes and wedding transportation were analyzed in-depth. You didn’t need to be focused specifically on the occasion – it was near impossible to avoid it in the news. Along with the crucial discussions of fruitcakes came the inevitable flow of pictures. Naturally, there were pictures of the bride and groom. Pictures going back years earlier were brought out to show the entire royal family throughout the ages. Of course, the Queen herself was very prominent in these images. Among these hundreds of available snapshots, I somehow managed to see a clear photograph of the Queen entering
or exiting a vehicle; a strong gust of wind was blowing, and the monarch had to hold on dearly to her hat. Something struck me as unusual about this picture. It was then that I realized that in every photograph of the Queen, she was wearing a hat and modest clothing. I was curious to know if my suspicions were correct, and I easily pulled up a few more photos of Her Majesty. Sure enough, in all but a small number of pictures, she was wearing some form of headwear. Additionally, her skirts were of a modest length, as were the rest of her entire wardrobe. I found it fascinating how close she was to conforming to our halachic standards, despite this obviously not being her intention. Just from being raised in a royal household, aware of who she was, the Queen understood that there is a dignified way to dress, as befits her status. Until this point, I have mostly avoided an article about tzinius. There are a number of reasons for this. Among those concerns was the inability to do justice to the topic, along with the negativity that too often results from this discussion. Our larger community comprises smaller communities that have differing standards; focusing too closely on technical details could unin-
tentionally disrespect another valid halachic opinion. Despite my concerns, tzinius is an important topic and can’t be ignored. Because of the crucial role of tzinius in our lives, I hesitantly decided to go ahead with this article. To allay my hesitations, I will only be discussing one aspect of tzinius: that of malchus/royalty. Truthfully, one article would not be sufficient to thoroughly discuss this important topic anyway. I want to add a crucial point: this article isn’t just for women or girls. Tzinius is something that is a part of all of us – male or female. We are all royalty and bnei melachim. While many aspects of tzinius may only apply to one gender or the other, I feel the topic of this week’s article is relevant to all of us. I will make the disclaimer that I am not a rav. I will not be discussing halacha, and no aspect of halacha should be derived from anything written here. Baruch Hashem, our community is fortunate to have many chashuve rabbonim and rebbetzins to address any concerns – halachic or hashkafik – that may arise. It is my experience that they are happy to discuss these and other sincere inquiries, and it is only to our benefit to take advantage of their wisdom.
Our Royal Family When we said “na’aseh v’nishmah,” we received two crowns. Throughout the Torah, we see that we are compared to royalty. We are called “b’nei melachim” in the Talmud and a “mamleches kohanim” in Tanach. It says, “Kol kevuda bas melech penima,” “banim atem l’Hashem” and “Yisroel ki sarit” (thank you to my learned friend for providing the references). Rav Chaim Kanievsky, zt”l, was called the “sar HaTorah,” the prince of Torah. We are truly a family of royalty, proudly wearing the crown of Torah. We are elevated above animals and gifted with holy neshamos. We aren’t simply mature apes but unique individuals tasked with a divine calling. We should never think small of ourselves but recognize our special role as the am hanivchar. If we deny our position in false humility, then we are shirking our responsibilities. For our own knowledge, it’s important that we and our children understand that Hashem has assigned us this unique job.
Representing Torah When we step outside our homes, others – both Jew and gentile – know we’re Jewish. When we walk through the
