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FEBRUARY 10, 2022 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Teen Talk
By Mrs. C. Isbee
Dear Teen Talk, I am a thirteen-year-old girl who has a few
Teen Talk , column in
a new
TJH, is geared to wards the teens in o ur commu nity. Answered by a rotati ng roster of teachers, rebbeim, clinicians , an d peers (!), te ens will b e hearing answers to many que stions the had perco y lating in th eir minds wished th an d ey had th e answers for.
questions that have to do with friendship. At the beginning of the school year, my best friend left school to be home-schooled. We keep in touch, and she even came to my house once, but it feels as though our friendship is weakening. Our communication is minimal and far in between. How can I ensure that our connection stays strong? I have been feeling lonely because I remember this strong connection with this friend in school that I don’t share with anyone else. I am friendly but feel I have no close friends. A friend once noticed I was looking down, and when I confided in her, she pointed out that many girls would consider themselves to be friends of mine. I am not sure if now I have a bunch of superficial friendships, or maybe they are deep friendships. How do I know if these are quality relationships? And, how can I maintain the relationship with my former best friend?
D
ear Thirteen-Year-Old Girl, You seem to be a very selfaware and sensitive young lady who is striving to make the most out of your social life. I would like to address your concerns. I am sure it has been difficult to adjust to school life without your best friend there. Moreover, it seems like the quality of your friendship with her has changed. Welcome to the wonderful world of relationships! As time goes by, our relationships evolve and
change, and if we want to keep certain friendships strong, we need to make adjustments. When you graduate high school and go out into the real world, your closest friend will no longer be together with you on a daily basis, yet you can still both keep the friendship secure. Think of this predicament as getting a head start in dealing with this normal challenge. Keeping your attachment strong is hard,
because you are not experiencing life together on a daily basis. You are no longer sitting in class simultaneously listening to the same teachers. You are not able to see each other in between sessions in the hallways, and lunchtime is never spent together. The attachment you felt with her was real, however, it was easy to keep it going because you shared events of the day and were in close proximity to her. Now that you are no longer sharing school matters with her,
