Five Towns Jewish Home - 10-7-21

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OCTOBER 7, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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TJH

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Centerfold

10 Signs That You are Stuck in Yom Tov Mode 

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On your first day back in the office, you spend 45 minutes on Instacart checking if they deliver Aravos. You still dip your tuna sandwiches in honey.

You see a Lubavitch teenager putting tefillin on someone in Manhattan and you say to yourself, “Hmm…I guess Chabad puts tefillin on Chol Hamoed.” Your kids ask why you’re not going to American Dream Mall on Motzei Shabbos at 3AM for the girls-only swim session.

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You check if it’s raining outside every time you are about to sit down for a meal.

You wake up on Tuesday morning and instead of making a coffee, you instinctively make gefilte fish. When your boss calls and asks why you haven’t responded to his emails for a month, you tell him, “Oh, I don’t work on Chol Hamoed!” You check in on your neighbors because you don’t hear them singing at 1:30AM.

After eating chicken, pasta, and potatoes for dinner, you exclaim: “Hmm, I can’t wait for the main course!”

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You want to start your diet, but it makes no sense to start a diet on the 19th day of Sukkos.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me! Yankel and Shmerel are walking when suddenly it begins to rain. “Quick,” says Yankel, “open your umbrella.” “It won’t help,” says Shmerel. “My umbrella is full of holes.” “Then why did you bring it?” asks Yankel. Shmerel replies, “I didn’t think it would rain!”


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Articles inside

Military Uniforms by Avi Heiligman

5min
pages 110-111

CLASSIFIEDS

8min
pages 112-115

A New Exercise Holiday by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS

3min
pages 118-120

Inside the CIA’s Desperate Effort by David Ignatius

4min
page 109

Your Money

3min
pages 116-117

When You Vote to Let Terrorists Kill Jews, That is Anti-Semitism by Marc A. Thiessen

4min
pages 106-107

Biden Misled America by Marc A. Thiessen

4min
page 108

What is the “Two-State Solution” About? by Caroline Glick

9min
pages 104-105

Notable Quotes

5min
pages 100-103

Where Did Normal Go? by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn

6min
pages 92-93

Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW

10min
pages 88-91

From Kabul to Jenin to Jerusalem by Shammai Siskind

11min
pages 84-87

The Aussie Gourmet: Sheet Pan Flounder

1min
pages 98-99

Parenting Pearls

7min
pages 96-97

Meal Prep by Aliza Beer, MS RD

8min
pages 94-95

My Israel Home

3min
pages 82-83

Community Happenings

49min
pages 42-65

Rabbi Wein on the Parsha

3min
pages 68-69

Remembering Rabbi Dr. Moshe Tendler, zt”l

7min
pages 80-81

Getting the Ship Back on Course by Rav Moshe Weinberger

7min
pages 70-73

Delving into the Daf by Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow

6min
pages 74-75

Centerfold

3min
pages 66-67

Israel News

7min
pages 22-25

That’s Odd

8min
pages 38-41
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