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When is it Time to Quit Your Career?

By Sara Brejt, Esq., CPC

Here are two career questions I recently received. Identifying details have been changed, of course.

A) “My friend is nearing 70. Her husband was retired by his firm a few years ago. He is happy being retired, he learns, etc. He wants her to retire when she turns 70. They own a home in Florida. He wants to spend more time there, with her.

“She doesn’t want to. She likes waking up and having a schedule. She was laid off a few years ago, and she hated it. What should she do?”

B) “I have a very fulfilling job as a speech therapist in a public school. None of my children live in my city. My children want me to quit now, as I’ve turned 65, and move to the city where they live. They are concerned that I live alone – I’m widowed – and a day will come when I will need more frequent help. I want to continue working…though I’m not sure for how long. Maybe they have a point?”

Setting aside the sometimes-complicated dynamics between spouses and between the generations, let’s look at the main end-of-career question.

Let’s start by learning from the very beginning of a career. We know that it is best to do our own thinking about what path to choose. Basing our selection on what’s popular at the moment, or on random suggestions, even by well-meaning friends and relatives just doesn’t work. So, too, it is with when to stop working.

Although there may be reactive reasons for someone to leave a job, such as poor health, mandatory retirement age, and, yes, even outright age discrimination, in this column, we will focus on the proactive part of the equation.

Being Proactive

The first step in a proactive three-step process is to examine what’s important to each individual and, if applicable, to the couple. For the next step, identify the two or three criteria that are most important. Lastly, be creative about incorporating those most important factors into the retirement picture.

Some factors to consider in wanting to stay at work are financial concerns, including the need to retain benefits such as health insurance. The structure and daily schedule, as well as the camaraderie and friendships in the office, are elements that so many of us crave. Let’s not forget the personal identity and status that we (think we) gain from being able to say: “I am a teacher/ social worker/doctor/lawyer.” And the intellectual stimulation of a high-thinking job is a serious draw for many people.

On the other side are the criteria for wanting to stop working. The biggest consideration is often having the leisure and the time to pursue other interests, such as travel, hobbies, community service, and chessed activities. Perhaps embarking on a different career or opening a business is what you want to do. Sometimes the opportunity for family time (those yummy grandchildren!) is the attraction. Or simply “taking it easy.” Freedom from an unpleasant work scenario is also often an important factor.

As with many of life’s decisions, there are usually a multitude of reasons. And, just like you can’t get everything you want in a job, you can’t get everything in this next stage of retirement. Choices need to be made.

It’s advisable to make choices as to what’s most important.

For instance, in situation A above, it sounds like money is not a key issue.

If having a schedule is what is most important to the wife, then perhaps she can retire from her job and establish a schedule in some other way, like in a volunteer situation – yes, even in Florida! The pro bono opportunity would give her structure, while retaining more flexibility to come and go as she pleases. She could join her husband in some of the activities that are very important to him.

Let’s say that what’s most important to her is the camaraderie of her office. Perhaps she can negotiate a different position in the office where she stays connected with the people with a more flexible schedule. For instance, our children’s ophthalmologist retired at the mandatory age of 65 and continued to work in his own medical office as

a…file clerk! He just couldn’t give up his second family.

Or, if Mrs. A teaches in a classroom, she might re-negotiate her position to one in the resource room. That way, she’d have more flexibility to set her own schedule while retaining her connections to her friends on the school staff. And she would be able to travel more flexibly.

As I mentioned, the “call of the office” is often the intellectual stimulation. There is an understandable reluctance to exchange invigorating professional discourse for what might be seen as boring stay-athome conversation.

The personal identity aspect can sometimes be the hardest to address. Creating a new identity – as a volunteer, as a Bubby/babysitter or as a businesswoman – is one avenue.

One solution to combine the intellectual issue and the personal identity is to try new activities that look good on you!

Today’s wealth of opportunities negates that old-fashioned look of retirement. Book clubs, travel groups (after corona, b’mehaira b’yameinu, writing workshops, the proverbial retiree-who-became-an-artist (I actually know two) – these are all options that await you.

You know those things that you said: “I don’t have time for that but I’d love to ...” Now. Is. The. Time.

GK Chesterton famously said: “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly…in the beginning.” Take a risk or two! Explore a secret in-

The structure and daily schedule, as well as the camaraderie and friendships in the office, are elements that so many of us crave.

terest!

Staying open to new options, consulting with others, and some honest self-assessment are the keys to navigating this stage.

Creativity is important, as well. For instance, Mrs. B might explore seasonal opportunities in her current school system – e.g., becoming the expert on end-of-the-year evaluations. She might temporarily “try out” the new city in the summertime to see if she could set down roots there.

And – just in case – have you heard the phrase “un-retirement”? It’s used when people go back to work because they want to work. They miss the challenges, the accomplishments, and the collegiality. Sometimes, there actually are ways to turn back the clock.

Maybe we’ll discuss un-retirement next time?!

Whether you’d like to send questions, compliments or complaints, please do get in touch with me at sara@jewishwomenofwisdom. org. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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