Parenting Pearls

Keeping It Practical

By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

Bizarrely, I have both my husband and a teeny, tiny bug to thank for the inspiration behind this article.

A few years ago, it occurred to me how it’s rather hard to live in a frum household and not learn about the daily life of a Torah observant Jew. Everything from daily halacha to the special minhagim of yomim tovim are quickly observed by interested, young eyes. Perhaps this is one reason why so much respect is given to both the formal mesorah and to the informal lessons passed down from our beloved ancestors. The practical lessons observed in the homes of previous generations can often serve as a previously undocumented lesson in halacha, hashkafa or proper middos. Stories of our gedolim are combed through to give us handson ways we too can serve Hashem properly. From these few examples we can see that practical experience and in-person observations have often played a pivotal role in teaching the next generation how to carry on our traditions.

As important as classes, lectures and books can be, they will never replace the role of hands-on teaching. As you read through the pages of TJH, you will see the many ways each local school brings education to life. The children observe, act out and manipulate their way through their lessons to get a better understanding of the topic. Not only is it an important educational tool – it’s also a lot of fun! Parents can also bring this powerful and exciting educational tool into their homes.

Recognizing a Practical Experience

Judaism is a thriving and living belief system. There are so many ways you can bring this out in your home. Whenever there is an opportunity that falls in your lap to expose your children to practical halacha or a Jewish experience, it’s worth it. It’s so fun for the kids and makes Torah come alive. Often, kids tend to think that what they learn isn’t practical. They couldn’t be more wrong. I’ll try to include some examples of where you can bring this in. Remember that even if something seems gross to you, it may not be to the kids. I would even suggest an inverse proportional relationship – the grosser it is to you the more the kids will get excited.

Bugs: This article was partially inspired by a bug that was so small I barely noticed it among the rice. Credit goes to my husband who noted the bag didn’t look as it should and was meticulous when checking. Not only was there a bug in the bag of rice, but it was alive and moving. I am grateful to him for being so careful and making sure we didn’t have that extra protein in our cholent.

I’ve often made a point of showing the kids when I’ve found bugs in produce. My kids have seen enough insects and insect droppings inside (and outside) dates to know that they need to bring each date to me before consuming. The halachos of bedikas tolaim (checking for bugs) are interesting and relevant when kids realize there really are bugs in food items.

Blood in eggs: When checking eggs, you will, at some point, find a blood spot. Before tossing it in the garbage out of disgust you can make a point to show it to your children. Demonstrate how you saw it, particularly if it’s in a harder to notice area. They’ll take egg checking more seriously when they know that blood spots really do exist. It also can be the beginning of an interesting biology lesson, but that’s for another article.

Pesach: It was a few years back that I was quickly checking rice (not for Pesach) and discovered a grain of barley. While Ashkenazim don’t eat rice on Pesach, Sefardim do, but the rice requires strict checking first. With modern technology, you’d think you wouldn’t find such a crossover and that there’s no need to check before Pesach. I was excited for every Sefardi that had to meticulously check rice knowing they weren’t checking in vain. When you find chametz in an unexpected place before Pesach, it’s the perfect time to hold up your trophy and show your children why you spend all that time checking the house for chametz before Pesach.

I could write a book of examples because every yom tov and part of our daily routines have practical lessons as to their applications. Throughout our daily life, we can see how even the most vague halachos have a practical application.

Creating a Practical Experience

There are some areas that don’t come up practically in your own home. Some, because they’re not something we can easily do (i.e. shmitta or parah adumah), and others because they’re not a party of daily life (i.e. matza baking or pidyon haben). In those cases, there are nu-

merous resources available to make them come to life.

Books: There are books that don’t simply teach halacha but teach it in a way that it’s told as a story or real-life example. There’s a series called “Naftali in the Beis Hamikdash’” that is written so the children (and adults) who read it can feel as if they’re really there during the time of the Beis Hamikdash. All the details about bringing a korban Pesach suddenly become clearer and more relevant when kids recognize that we really performed this at some point. Understanding which branch to use to roast your korban and why that particular species is vague when taught in a class but clearer when taught in this context. Similarly, there are series that bring to life historical events, such as the Churban, Chanukah, and Purim and recreate them in a modern era. These books take time periods and events that are hard for modern kids to understand and make them connected and meaningful.

Educational videos: There are videos on so many Jewish topics that give children the chance to virtually experience something that would otherwise be hard for them to view. While many kids have been able to go to the matzah bakery, it’s not always feasible. There are many well-made videos that not only show the baking process but also explain as the baking unfolds. When they see in practice how careful matzah bakers are to not accidentally create chametz (i.e., not speaking unless necessary and maintaining a hot oven but cool kneading area), many of the details they learned in class become practical. I’ve even seen videos that were taken of a real chalitza ceremony, along with a description, so you could follow along and see how every aspect of halacha is satisfied throughout.

Storytelling: My great-grandfather was interviewed many years ago, shortly before his death in 1978, and he was asked to describe Jewish life in Russia. This interview has been posted online and was intended to be viewed by anyone, including those who aren’t Jewish or religious. He had to describe matzah baking to them, and to make his point his description included how there was a water boy and a flour boy. If you did one job, then you couldn’t do the other; the water boy and flour boy were two completely separate people and jobs. He was able to use practical ex-

Storytelling has often been an important way to pass on information to the next generation.

amples and stories from his personal life experience to make clear part of a Jewish tradition to even those that are inexperienced in our traditions.

Storytelling has often been an important way to pass on information to the next generation.

Plays/recreations: Often, classes in school will act out events whether it’s in connection to the parsha, matzah baking or Mishnayos. This gives the children a chance to experience something they wouldn’t be able to otherwise. Not only do we all learn from acting out different scenarios, but this is especially useful with children as they uniquely learn from pretend play and creative interactions. This shouldn’t be limited to school. Before taking the children to shul, a wedding or just to learn parsha, you can also act out with them the ceremony or what did/ will happen. We used this to prepare our children for various religious ceremonies they would soon be experiencing for the first time.

Describe As You Go

There are times you won’t be able to involve the children as much, for whatever reason. They can still learn when you describe to them and demonstrate as you perform a mitzvah or minhag. You may be nervous having little ones touch certain items or do anything with fire but they can often still watch from a safe distance and you can still take the time beforehand to explain the steps you will be doing.

Obviously, you can’t explain during the mitzvah if it’ll be a hefsek between the bracha or break of some form but you can do so before or afterwards. I personally think it’s usually better to explain prior to the act, but you do what you can in any given situation. If you’ll be explain-

ing prior to doing something – particularly with younger children – you may want to keep it more simple and less detailed as they may not be able to remember and process all the information if there’s too much of it. You also have the option of explaining in advance and then going over afterwards to remind your child of how you did each part.

If you are able to talk during the mitzvah, then it may be best to first give some information to prepare them and then point out those details as you go. They may not easily make the connection between prior information and each step later as they occur, but if you explain as you go it becomes more real and exciting for them to see what they just learned from you come alive.

We are fortunate that our heritage and traditions can so easily be passed down by simply sharing with our children what we’re often already doing. Our lives are full of concrete ways to serve Hashem, and our children naturally enjoy joining in.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.