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DECEMBER 23, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER OCTOBER 29, 29, 2015 2015 || The The Jewish Jewish Home Home
Teen Talk
By By Mrs. Mrs. C. C. Isbee Isbee
Dear Teen Talk, I love school and have a lot of friends. I get to-
Teen Talk , column in
a new
TJH, is geared to wards the teens in o ur commu nity. Answered by a rotati ng roster of teachers, rebbeim, clinicians , an d peers (!), te ens will b e hearing answers to many que stions the had perco y lating in th eir minds wished th an d ey had th e answers for.
gether with them all the time – at their homes. We never get together at my home because I don’t ever invite them, as I’m very embarrassed by my family and the condition of my house. Firstly, my brother, who is a year older than me, is developmentally disabled and gets very excited and says crazy things to anyone that comes into my house. Secondly, my mother, who is very warm and friendly, is not put together. For lack of a better word, she looks shlumpy. Thirdly, my house is messy. I try to do my share to clean up, but I have other priorities too, and can’t possibly get the house to look fully clean. In the past, when we would talk about getting together, I purposely did not volunteer my home. Time is passing by, and my friends keep asking me why we don’t get together by me. I can’t keep making excuses! Besides, I live near all of them, and they are starting to think it’s odd that I don’t invite them. Help! What should I do?
Answer: I understand your predicament. You are a great girl and want to do the right thing. You value your friends, but you’re scared you’ll jeopardize your relationship with them because of what they’ll think of you once they step foot in your home
and meet your family. At the same time, you can’t keep hiding. Making up reasons for why you won’t have a get-together at your house will ultimately be disadvantageous for you. If your friends knew the real reasons you haven’t invited them, I’m sure they would be mortified
and would deem your impression of them as shallow and insensitive. Here are five ways to approach this:
1.
Mir ror Ap proach: You are like a mirror to your friends. When
