Five Towns Jewish Home - 1-28-2021

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January 28, 2021

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

An evening of tribute H O N O R I N G : guests of honor

ARI AND ROCHEL SIMA MUNK parents of the year

YOSSI AND LEORA HAMMER keser shem tov

CHAIM SHOLOM AND RIVKY LEIBOWITZ in memoriam

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MRS. REMA OLSHANSKY A”H

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

Dear Readers,

E

veryone needs a vacation. Mothers, fathers, teachers, students, older kids, younger kids, babysitters, doctors, pizza shop owners – we all need a time to be able to take a step back and breathe and mix up our routines for a while.

When you’re young, vacation is penciled into the schedule months in advance. In fact, when the school calendars come out in September, the first thing that kids look for is when vacation is scheduled. The school year hasn’t even started, and they’re wondering when they’ll be getting time off.

When you get older, and you leave your schooling behind, it becomes an adjustment when you realize that vacation is not necessarily a given. First and foremost, we use many of our vacation days for yomim tovim. That means that after scheduling time off for almost all of Tishrei and Nissan, you’re left with just a handful of days – if any, at all.

Own your own business? Time off is never on your calendar when you know that the responsibility of the business falls on your shoulders. But let’s say that you can manage to leave your business for a few days. If you’re a parent with

young kids, those few days are used going on vacation with the family, which is a vacation but not necessarily a relaxand-put-your-feet-up few days.

So, what to do? We all need a breather and we all need a time to step back from our busy routines.

I’ve decided that instead of looking forward to a week (or three days!) each year when I can get away, I’m going to enjoy “mini vacations.” They could be a Motzei Shabbos doing something – or doing nothing; a Sunday morning taking a walk; a Thursday afternoon doing something for myself. The point is to take a step back and get out of the routine for a while. Of course, if it can come with a late wakeup and not having to make lunch or dinner that would be an added bonus.

So this year, instead of pining for a sunny beach, I’m going to be spending my time looking forward to the little vacations that I will be taking every so often in the comfort of my own home. Oh, and there’s no packing involved – which is really great, too!

Wishing you a wonderful week, Shoshana

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Weekly Weather | January 29 – February 4

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

Contents LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

8

COMMUNITY Readers’ Poll Community Happenings

8 44

NEWS

43

Global

17

National

32

That’s Odd

42

ISRAEL Israel News

25

Rav Amnon, Part II, by Rafi Sackville

70

From Outcast to Ally by Shammai Siskind

72

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Wein on the Parsha

58

The Redemption of Speech by Rav Moshe Weinberger

60

Parsha Ponderings by Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky

62

Delving into the Daf by Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow

63

Have You Ever Experienced a Miracle? by Shmuel Reichman

64

Field of Vision by Rabbi Moshe Weinberger

66

PEOPLE #Women Supporting Women by Rebbetzin Lisa Septimus Fascinating Facts About the Civil War by Avi Heiligman

68 104

HEALTH & FITNESS Kool Aid by Dr. Deb Hirschhorn

81

Spilling the Tea on Health Benefits by Aliza Beer, MS RD CDN

82

FOOD & LEISURE Diaries of the Fruit Lady by Chaia Frishman

88

The Aussie Gourmet: Beef Ramen Soup

92

LIFESTYLES Dating Dialogue, Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW

76

Parenting Pearls

84

Dear Editor, We all equate terrorists with guns and rockets, but the truth is, a lot of times, terrorists hurt us with mere dollar bills.

That’s what I found so fascinating about your article on Hezbollah’s banking institutions. Hiding behind a façade of banking, the terror group grows and buys more and more ammunition and recruits more and more militants.

Those who have been funding these institutions have blood on their hands, as their funds have directly caused bloodshed.

Sincerely, Chaim Fass Dear Editor, My husband and I have been avid readers of the Navidaters section of the paper for quite some time. More often than not, the question becomes a topic of exciting and lively conversation throughout our home. However, we are currently reconsidering that decision based off the responses of the rebbetzin and zaidy last week.

We have a daughter who is about to begin shidduchim and we do not want her to be spoken to in such a harsh and rude manner. Yes, we agree with the points that all of the panelists made last week regarding Shira needing to move on from her relationship with Dovid. However, the bluntness and rudeness that accompanied those ideas was unneces-

sary and extremely degrading. Shidduchim is already difficult enough for those in the parsha, so handling these questions with compassion is crucial. A girl who was vulnerable enough to write into a dating column should not have been outright told “you need professional help” from a rebbetzin or “get over it and move on with your life” from a zaidy. We are disgusted and hope that if Shira read those responses they didn’t destroy her and bring her down. She should remember she’s an incredible girl, and just like everyone else in life, needs to continue working on herself to grow and become the best version of herself.

Sincerely, Rachel Wexler Dear Editor, The stories of Rabbi Kelemer’s zt”l Torah knowledge, chessed, and his middos are legendary.

We moved to West Hempstead a year after Rabbi Kelemer became the rav of the community and we heard nothing but praise for Rabbi Kelemer. But it went both ways. From Rabbi Kelemer we heard nothing but praise about each member of the shul. He would extol each person’s unique qualities in public during a simcha or when meeting them in private. But he was the ultimate anav and he never extolled his own virtues though it far exceeded those Continued on page 10

JWow! 86

84

Mind Your Business

102

Your Money

110

Keep Them Warm by Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS 111 HUMOR Centerfold 54 POLITICAL CROSSFIRE

Notable Quotes

94

The Biden Administration’s Saudi Problem by David Ignatius

98

Three Steps Biden Can Take to Restore Unity by Marc A. Thiessen CLASSIFIEDS

100 106

January 31 is National Hot Chocolate Day. Have you ever made hot chocolate from scratch?

23

%

YES

77

%

NO

gRaDeS 8-9

gRaDeS 10+

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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boys from all over the world are choosing Camp Maaminim.

Chile

finD out WhY at

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R’ Sruly Besser

Joining us for extended periods this summer!

1/21/2021 11:21:35 AM

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

Continued from page 8

whom he praised. He was an anav like no other. If you walked him home late at night, he insisted on walking you back to your house. He cared for everyone in the community and multitudes outside the community but his own needs came last. In my last interaction with him in the hospital, while he could still communicate, he insisted that I should not tell anyone he was in the hospital. He did not want people to have to go out of their way to visit him in the hospital.

My in-laws told me that they were shocked to see Rabbi Kelemer one night when he came to pay my father-in-law a shiva call. Rabbi Kelemer spent a half a day traveling to Philadelphia to be menachem avel someone who was not even a member of his shul. Rabbi Kelemer was endeared by my father-in-law and my father-in-law would seek out Rabbi Kelemer whenever my in-laws were in West Hempstead. My father-inlaw had no high level yeshiva education but he loved to learn Torah.

He would come up with his own insightful chiddushim which he enjoyed sharing with whomever was

around. But sharing them with Rabbi Kelemer and receiving the rabbi’s approbation was his ultimate joy. And Rabbi Kelemer always gave his approbation and even encouraged him to publish his chiddushim. As in all his interactions, Rabbi Kelemer was able to uplift people.

The myriad articles about Rabbi Kelemer, zt”l, that have come out since his untimely passing included suggestions that he was one of the lamed vav tzaddikim for which the world is maintained. Let me add a story that supports that notion.

One evening many years ago, I was called by a friend from the neighborhood because his brotherin-law had a cardiac arrest while

exercising in a gym and he wanted to know if I could oversee his cardiac treatment. In the days before Hatzalah, it took a while for EMS to arrive and resuscitate the patient. I went to see the patient at the Franklin Hospital emergency room where I found him on a ventilator, unconscious and unresponsive. His cardiac status was stable so there was nothing that I needed to do at that time but the question was whether he sustained permanent brain damage. Many hours after the cardiac arrest with the patient still unresponsive, Rabbi Kelemer came to the ER. He saw the patient and assessed the situation and then went outside to place a phone call to Israel. Rab-

bi Kelemer called his brother-in-law in Israel, where it was morning, and asked him to say a prayer at the Kotel for this patient’s refuah. Within a few minutes of the call, the patient woke up with no deficits. He had bypass surgery and had a complete recovery with many good years to follow.

It could have been a coincidence or it could be that Rabbi Kelemer has a direct line to Hashem. I choose to believe the latter and hope that Rabbi Kelemer, zt”l, can now use his more direct line to Hashem for the benefit of all, especially those of us who have suffered the loss of this incomparable tzaddik.

Joseph Wiesel, MD

Views expressed on the Letters to the Editor page do not necessarily reflect the views of The Jewish Home.

Please send all correspondence to: editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com.

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The Week In News

No More Google in Australia?

media giants are responsible for bankrupting newsrooms, Australia’s government seeks to force Google, Facebook, and Twitter to pay media companies for using their content.

The bill would make Australia the world’s first country to embark on such as a step. As such, the battle with Google is being closely watched around the globe.Â

Oman’s New Crown Prince

Tech giant Google is threatening to end the use of its renowned search engine in Australia if a controversial royalties bill becomes law. The law in question would force social media giants such as Google, Facebook, and Twitter to pay news publishers for articles its users access via their platforms. In a Senate hearing last week in Canberra, Google’s Managing Director of New Zealand and Australia, Mel Silva, warned that the “unworkable legislation� would result in the company deactivating its search engine in Australia.  “If this version of the Code were to become law, it would give us no real choice but to stop making Google Search available in Australia,� said Silva. “That would be a bad outcome not just for us, but for the Australian people, media diversity, and small businesses who use Google Search. “The free service we offer Australian users, and our business model, has been built on the ability to link freely between websites,� Silva added.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison refused to bow to the ultimatum, vowing in a press conference never to “succumb to blackmail� from international tech giants. “Let me be clear. Australia makes our rules for things you can do in Australia. That’s done in our parliament. It’s done by our government and that’s how things work here in Australia, and people who want to work with that in Australia, you’re very welcome,� said Morrison. “But we don’t respond to threats.�

Google’s threat is unprecedented and comes as Australia stands poised to radically change how the internet’s economy works. Arguing that social

Dhi Yazan Bin Haitham was appointed as the Crown Prince of Oman, marking the first time the Sultanate has appointed an heir in waiting. According to Oman News Agency, the Sultan signed Royal Decree No. 6/2021 to “set up a specific and stable mechanism for the transfer of power in the sultanate.� The Order stipulates that power will be transferred “from the Sultan to his son and then to the eldest son of the Heir Apparent assuming the succession.�

Dhi Yazan is only 30 years old and currently serves as Oman’s Culture, Sport, and Youth Minister. The son of current leader Sultan Haitham bin Tariq al-Said, Dhi previously served in Oman’s Embassy in London and graduated from the University of Oxford.

The unprecedented decision to designate an heir comes after a succession crisis that followed the passing of longtime ruler Sultan Qaboos in 2019. Qaboos, who passed away at the age of 79 after three decades on the throne, did not appoint an heir, fracturing the royal family.

Dhi Yazan joins the Gulf’s new crop of young crown princes, along with 33-year-old Mohammed Bin Salman in Saudi Arabia and Qatar’s 39-year-old ruler Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al-Thani. In neighboring Bahrain, 51-year-old Crown Prince Sheikh Salman bin Hamad Al-Khalifa became prime minister in late 2019.

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

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Dubai’s Crown Prince Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed is leading the Emirate’s shift from an energy-based economy to one based on information and artificial intelligence.

The Gulf States’ young leaders are a radical departure from the aging monarchs who traditionally called the shots in the volatile Middle East.

“There is a real appetite for 30-something leadership in several countries, including Oman’s neighbors Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates,” noted Elana DeLozier, a Middle Eastern affairs expert at the Washington Institute for Near East Policy.

“Even if that person is not the top leader, having youth in senior positions brings hope that the desires of the young will be worked into policy.”

Shanghai Targets Fake Divorces

A meaningful way to mark a yahrtzeit.

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B”H IN OUR

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China is cracking down on fictitious divorces as part of an effort to keep housing prices down in the Shanghai province.

By law, home purchases in China are limited to only two per couple.

The cap led many happily married Chinese to enter divorce proceedings as a way to legally purchase more homes than they could legally have should they remain together.

Under new regulations unveiled last week, home purchases in Shanghai made within the first three years following divorce would count as part of the total the couple had while still together. Shanghai’s government said in a statement that the new policy is “aimed at resolutely enforcing the decisions of the central committee of the Party” and “firmly upholding the policy stance that ‘houses are for inhabiting, not for speculation.’”

The step makes Shanghai the third Chinese province to crack down on fake divorces as a means to battle soaring housing prices. With many Chinese enjoying rising incomes yet reluctant to trust the country’s noto-

riously corrupt banking system, real estate is viewed as a safe option for wealth management.

This has led housing prices in Shanghai to skyrocket, jumping 30% in 2019 and doubling over the month of December. Authorities have introduced a series of measures to counter the surge, from capping real estate loans to demanding higher down payments.

Key to this effort is fighting back against fictitious divorces, a phenomenon that has become widespread in China’s more prosperous provinces.

In a sign of its popularity, a hashtag on the microblogging site Sina Weibo was recently shared over 240,000 in under a week after news of the policy change broke.

“It’s very normal to see people get divorced for the purpose of buying a second property,” notes Shanghai realtor Peng Jingling. “The difference between 30% deposit and 50% or even 70% is huge. Divorce makes big change when you want to buy another property.

“I think among those divorced couples, 95% of them remain ‘fake’ divorces. Maybe 5% end up real divorces.”

Protests Erupt Throughout Russia

Hundreds of thousands of Russians took to the streets to call for the release of jailed opposition leader Alexander Navalny.

The prominent critic of President Vladimir Putin was arrested on January 17 upon returning from Berlin, where he had spent several months recovering after being poisoned. Navalny, who accuses Putin of ordering his poisoning, faces three years in prison for alleged parole violations.

The demonstrations began in Moscow last Saturday and quickly spread to 109 additional cities. By Monday, protests were occurring in all of Russia’s 10 time zones in what observers call the largest wave of civil dissent in decades.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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In Yakutia, a desolate city in Siberia, hundreds of Russians braved temperatures hovering around minus 60-degrees Fahrenheit and gathered to demonstrate against Navalny’s arrest. On Sakhalin Island north of Japan, hundreds chanted: “Putin is a thief! Freedom to Navalny!”

Protesters were met by riot police, leading to mass arrests in Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Vladivostok. Three-thousand-five-hundred people have been arrested since Saturday, the majority on charges of participating in an unlicensed demonstration.

Videos posted on social media showed the crowd clashing with law enforcement, with police attacking demonstrators with truncheons.

One viral clip showed a team of OMON riot police kicking a woman in the stomach and head until she was evacuated to the hospital in serious condition.

With the protests showing no signs of slowing down, a slew of Western leaders has condemned Putin and expressed their support for Navalny.

“The United States will stand shoulder to shoulder with our allies and partners in defense of human rights – whether in Russia or wherever they come under threat,” said U.S. State Department Spokesperson Ned Price.

Poland’s President Andrzej Duda urged the EU to sanction Russia for its “unlawful” detention of Navalny.

“The only way to [avoid conflict] is to force international law to be observed. The only way to do this without rifles, cannons, and bombs is via sanctions,” Duda said in an interview with the Financial Times.

Thai King Breaks Sister’s Feet

Andrew MacGregor Marshall, the former Reuters bureau chief in Bangkok, is accusing Maha Vajiralongkorn, the king of Thailand, of breaking his sister’s ankles.

MacGregor Marshall is free from Thai censorship laws now that he is

no longer in Asia.

Supposedly, the king attacked Princess Sirindhorn after she was knock over by his dogs. Insiders claimed that he either jumped on her legs or beat her with a cane. The assault was allegedly prompted by her confronting him over his plans to make his official consort a second queen, alongside his present wife, Queen Suthida.

Princess Sirindhorn went to see her brother two weeks ago to try to change his mind about elevating Sineenat “Koi” Wongvajirapakdi to the status of full queen.

Since then, the palace announced that Sirindhorn had injured both of her ankles in a fall and had been taken to hospital.

According to MacGregor Marshall, the full story is that “a furious row erupted” during the meeting and, “she was knocked over by one of Vajiralongkorn’s dogs, and while she was lying on the ground, he [the King] either stamped on her ankles or struck them with a cane, shattering both of them.”

Princess Sirindhorn underwent operations on both ankles at Chulalongkorn Hospital and is unlikely to walk again for several months.

A furious king is not the only concern for the people of Thailand.

The country is battling a deep recession brought about by COVID-19 and the collapse of the pivotal tourist trade.

Opponents of the ultra-rich royal family have been emboldened in recent months as rallies by student protesters against the establishment have seen their numbers swelling.

Demonstrators have recently taken to protesting by wearing crop tops exposing their midriff to mock the king, who has been photographed wearing similar garb at airports and in German shopping centers.

The protests have been inflamed by reports of the king’s vast wealth, estimated by London’s Financial Times at between $30 billion and $40 billion, after sovereign funds were effectively put under his direct control by the leaders of a successful 2014 coup.

He is believed to be the world’s richest king.

Vajiralongkorn is also alleged to have built up an extraordinary fleet of 38 jets and helicopters for the exclusive use of the Thai royal family.

Criticizing the royal family in the media is an offense under strict lèse majesté provisions of Thai law.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

A SIYUM LIKE NO OTHER In honor of Shuvu’s 30th Anniversary, the entire Shas and Tanach will be completed by students who, before coming to Shuvu, had no connection to Yiddishkeit. This has never been done before and you can be a part of it!

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— Adiel Mamshav 6th grade

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Will Russia Remain in Libya?

A massive new trench currently being dug by Russian mercenaries in Libya suggests that Moscow plans to remain in the war-torn country for years to come.

The trench in question is being dug by combatants belonging to the Wagner Group, a mercenary force loyal to Moscow. Stretching for more than 43 miles between the cities of Sirte and Al-Jufra, the trench is clearly designed to be used as a military fortification.

The considerable effort poured into the excavation suggests that Russia intends on keeping its military forces in Libya for a considerable period of time. First arriving

in 2018, Russia’s Wagner Group has fought on behalf of General Khalifa Haftar in his battle against Libya’s Government of National Accord.

Libya’s civil war has raged since 2014 between tribes allied with Haftar and the Government of National Accord (GNA) led by Fayez Sarraj. The conflict has led to over 250,000 civilian casualties and has evolved into a broader geopolitical struggle involving Russia, the UAE, and Egypt, who support Haftar, and Turkey, which backs Sarraj.

While Russia inserted fighter jets and tens of thousands of Wagner Group fighters into the fighting, Turkey recruited tens of thousands of jihadists from Syria for the effort.

The throngs of foreign militants led the violence to spiral out of control and challenged international efforts to mediate a truce.

In August, both sides agreed to a ceasefire and then signed a peace deal in November that mandates all foreign fighters to leave Libya.

The breakthrough set a January 23 deadline for all proxy militias to withdraw, a condition seen as crucial for ensuring that the fighting does not resume.

The massive trench being built by the Wagner Group indicates that Russian mercenaries have no intention of leaving anytime soon. The highly detailed fortifications appear designed to prevent a GNA attack on Haftar’s forces and cost tens of millions to construct, suggesting that the troops have no intention of withdrawing.

The development has the potential to derail UN mediation efforts and will likely permanently cement Russia’s presence in Libya. Bordering the Mediterranean and sitting on enormous oil reserves, Libya offers Russia enormous influence in North Africa and Europe.

“I don’t think anyone digging a trench today and making these reinforcements is leaving anytime soon,” said GNA Defence Minister Salaheddin al-Namroush.

A senior U.S. intelligence official told CNN that the trench is another reason “we see no intent or movement by either Turkish or Russian forces to abide by the UN-brokered agreement. This has the potential to derail an already fragile peace process and ceasefire. It will be a really difficult year ahead.”

Stalemate between Modi and Farmers

The latest round of negotiations between Indian farmers and the Modi government ended in a stalemate as both sides refused to compromise their positions.

Samkyukt Kisan Morcha, a group representing millions of farmers throughout India, abruptly ended talks after the government refused to repeal three hotly-contested agricultural laws. Agriculture Minister Narendra Singh Tomar’s offer to suspend the laws for 18 months was rejected by farmers, who demand they be repealed entirely.

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

S H U V U I N V I T E S YO U R E N T I R E F A M I LY T O :

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Tens of thousands of farmers have been camped out in New Delhi in protest of three farm laws they contend make it impossible for them to earn a living. The Farmers’ Produce Trade and Commerce Act, The Farmers Agreement of Price Assurance and Farm Services Act, and The Essential Commodities Act were recently enacted by the Modi government to reform India’s agricultural system.

The laws do away with minimum prices for crops, allowing farmers to trade outside the government’s Mandi system. But while the Modi government argues that the legislation opens up Indian agriculture to foreign investment and new technology, farmers say that it will effectively bankrupt them.

“It’s an effort to quell the farmers’ protests and not a sincere move to resolve the issues,” said Avik Saha, who heads the farmers’ negotiating committee. “Keeping the laws in abeyance doesn’t achieve the purpose for which farmers are agitating.”

Tomar maintained that the government has no intention of compromising any further. In his first remarks to the press after the negotiations fell apart, Tomar told Samkyukt Kisan Morcha representatives not to bother contacting him until they were willing to consider his proposal to suspend the laws for18 months.

“Whatever best options are available, we have offered to farmer unions,” said Tomar. “I hope farmer unions will consider it in a positive way.”

Miners Rescued from Goldmine

Eleven miners were rescued on Sunday after being trapped in a Chinese goldmine for over two weeks.

Authorities had been frantically working to extract 22 miners in the city of Qixi after an explosion trapped them underground on January 10. The efforts finally bore fruit on Sunday morning after a large boulder blocking the exit sudden-

ly plummeted to the bottom of the shaft, allowing rescuers to lower down special harnesses.

The first survivor was lifted out at 11:13 a.m. local time, followed by another 10 who were extricated hours later from a different part of the shaft. Footage broadcast on China’s State CCCV television showed the miners bursting into tears upon reaching the surface, while shielding their eyes to protect them from the bright sun after spending weeks in darkness underground.

The lifeless bodies of the remaining nine miners were brought out in a somber ceremony on Monday morning. One miner remains unaccounted for.

“From Sunday afternoon to this afternoon, rescue workers have not stopped searching, and found a further nine trapped miners who unfortunately all died,” said Qixi Mayor Chen Fei. “Along with one miner who died on Thursday, the bodies of the nine deceased miners were all lifted out of the mine.”

The miners were presumed to be dead after a massive explosion earlier this month trapped them 2,000 feet underground with no means of communication. But after a week of searching, rescuers felt tugging on the ropes they were dropping into the cavernous mine.

A day later, the 12 surviving miners attached a note to one of the ropes confirming that they were still alive and begging for help. Rescuers then drilled alternate shafts in order to lower down food and medicine and worked to remove debris to enable them to be lifted to safety.

Italy’s PM Resigns

Italy is facing more political turmoil after Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte resigned on Tuesday, at a time when the country faces a severe health and economic crisis.

Italy has been embroiled in political uncertainty over the past three weeks after a small party, Italia

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

Viva, decided to exit the coalition government led by Conte. The rupture came after a dispute over EU pandemic recovery funds and how they are disbursed, which plunged the nation into instability.

Conte, who has no political affiliation, told his ministers that he is resigning. He then handed in his official resignation to President Sergio Mattarella. The president has reportedly asked Conte to remain in a caretaker role while consultations take place over the formation of a new government.

However, the resignation is widely seen as an attempt to avoid a parliamentary defeat at a Senate vote later this week.

Conte narrowly survived a vote of confidence last week, but his government has been stripped of a working majority with the departure of Italia Viva – making it difficult to pass any major laws for the remainder of his mandate.

“Having failed in his desperate efforts to broaden his majority, Conte and his government were set to be defeated in a new Senate vote that is currently scheduled for 27 January,” Wolfango Piccoli, co-president of the consultancy firm Teneo, said.

He said Conte’s resignation was an attempt “to ensure his own political survival.”

Mattarella now has to decide whether to give Conte the chance to negotiate with lawmakers again, looking for a majority that will allow him to govern.

If Italian lawmakers do not reach an agreement over a new coalition government, with or without Conte as prime minister, then voters will have to head to the polls sooner rather than later.

Italy, the first EU country to be hit hard by the pandemic, has recorded more than 2 million Covid infections and over 85,000 deaths.

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Ambassador and Envoy Erdan Gilad Erdan began his term as Israel’s Ambassador to the United States last week, replacing Ron Dermer as Jerusalem’s envoy to its most important ally.

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Already Israel’s envoy to the United Nations, Erdan is now the first

person to hold both posts since Abba Eban in the 1950s. In his new role, Erdan will be tasked with building a relationship with the Biden administration and the Democratic Party, who now control the White House, Congress, and the Senate.

Making Erdan’s job particularly challenging is the upsurge of anti-Israel sentiment in the Democratic Party, including the support for the BDS movement espoused by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, and Rashida Tlaib. The former Pub-

lic Security Minister will also play a key role in broadcasting Israel’s concerns to the Biden administration regarding a possible U.S. return to the Iran deal.

Erdan recently spent several weeks in Washington learning the ins and outs of the position, while meeting with senior power brokers and forming relationships with key lawmakers. His predecessor, Dermer, had held the position since 2013 and was widely viewed as Prime Minister Benjamin Netanya-

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

hu’s closest confidant.

Over the past seven years, Dermer cultivated relationships with the most powerful people in the Republican Party and was in frequent contact with former President Donald Trump. The unusual access Dermer enjoyed at the White House led many to deem him “the most influential person in Washington.” On the other hand, Dermer was accused of neglecting Israel’s ties with the Democratic Party, endangering the bipartisan consensus that Israel always enjoyed in the U.S. “Good luck, Gilad! I am confident in our new Ambassador to Washington,” tweeted Dermer on Thursday.

“Gilad Erdan will further strengthen the great alliance between America and Israel, and I wish him the best of success.”

162 New Ethiopian Olim One-hundred-sixty-two new Ethiopian immigrants landed in Tel Aviv last Friday as part of a campaign to bring the remaining members of the Falash Mura community to Israel.

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Many of the new olim kissed the ground after disembarking and waved Israeli flags. The usual greeting ceremony was torpedoed due to fears of the coronavirus.

“The fact that dozens of new olim will celebrate this Shabbat on the land of Israel fills me with feelings of pride and satisfaction,” said Absorption and Immigration Minister Pnina Tamano-Shata, who was born in Addis Adaba, the capital of Ethiopia. “Today, a long and taxing journey of waiting to be reunited with their families is over, and I am happy to lead the return of our sons and daughters home to Israel.”

The flight included 11 infants and 43 children and was the sixth installment of “Operation Tzur Yisrael,” which seeks to bring Ethiopia’s remaining 2,000 Jews to Israel.

The plan received government approval in September and was given

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a 370 million shekel ($109 million) budget for the effort. The first flight landed in November. The operation will continue until the final Ethiopian Jews arrive in Israel in February.

A key source of funding for Friday’s flight was Peter Wang, a Christian Chinese businessman who decided to underwrite the trip after visiting Israel in 2018. Saying that the aforementioned visit showed him “in a profound way how G-d is with Israel,” Wang told the Times of Israel that his fervent Christian faith pushed him to pay for the cost of chartering the plane.

“Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the L-rd your G-d will gather you and bring you back,” said Wang. “Jewish brothers and sisters in Ethiopia have been praying to return to the land of their ancestors for centuries.

“I believe G-d has heard their cries out of distress and seen their longing for the promised land.”

Israel’s Concerns Over the Nuclear Deal

Mossad Chief Yossi Cohen will meet next month with U.S. President Joe Biden to discuss Israel’s concerns over the new administration’s plans to resume nuclear negotiations with Iran.

Cohen will head a delegation comprised of senior officials from the Defense and Foreign Ministries and will be the first Israeli official to meet with Biden since the latter took office.

Cohen is also slated to sit down with William Burns, who has been tapped

by Biden to be his CIA director.

According to Israel’s Channel 12, Cohen will present a wealth of intelligence demonstrating Iran’s disregard for the terms of the 2015 nuclear deal with a group of world powers and outline Israel’s position on any future talks between the U.S. and Iran. The spy chief will present a list of 12 demands Israel has regarding any new

deal with the Islamic Republic.

The terms include mandating Tehran to cease enriching uranium and producing centrifuges at its multiple nuclear plants, an end to supporting proxy groups such as Hezbollah, and to withdraw its military infrastructure in Iraq, Yemen, and Syria. Israel also wants Tehran to allow UN inspectors unfettered access to all of its nuclear sites and for Iran to stop targeting its embassies worldwide.

Israel is concerned that Biden will agree to an updated agreement that would allow Iran to rehabilitate its economy despite continuing to enrich uranium. The fears revolve around reports that senior Biden aides support scrapping the economic sanctions that have devastated Iran’s economy in order to coax it back to the negotiating table.

The new U.S. president had frequently pledged during the campaign to reenter the original 2015 nuclear deal if Tehran respects its commitments.

“If Iran returns to strict compliance with the nuclear deal, the United States would rejoin the agreement as a starting point for follow-on negotiations,” wrote Biden in September.

On Saturday, Israel National Security Advisor Meir Ben Shabbat spoke with his counterpart, Jake Sullivan, regarding the expected resumption of talks with Iran. The phone conversation was the first between senior Israeli and U.S. officials since Biden was sworn in last Wednesday.

“The two agreed to soon discuss many topics on the agenda, including the Iranian issue, regional matters, and advancing the Abraham Accords,” said the Prime Minister’s Office.

Mission to Morocco

After 20 years, the Israeli liaison office to Morocco reopened, with Ambassador David Govrin’s arrival in Rabat on Tuesday.

Israel also opened its consulate in Dubai, two days after opening its em-

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

terrorist responsible for killing an Israeli teen in 2019.

“After reviewing the evidence and in light of a recommendation by the investigative team and the opinion of the officials in the state prosecutor’s office who followed the investigation, the attorney general has decided to shelve the case in light of an absence of evidence that a crime was committed,” Mandelblit said in a statement.

bassy to the United Arab Emirates in its capital, Abu Dhabi.

Foreign Minister Gabi Ashkenazi noted, “The arrival of the heads of Israeli missions to Morocco and Dubai completes the first important phase of opening new Israeli missions in the region, in the framework of the Abraham Accords.”

Ashkenazi pointed out that in recent weeks, the number of Israeli missions in the Middle East was multiplied threefold, from two – in Amman and Cairo – to six – two in the

UAE, plus Bahrain and Morocco.

“This is living proof of the changes in the region and the warm peace between us and countries in the region,” he said. “This is an important day for peace and an exciting day in the framework of implementing agreements with the UAE and Morocco.”

Amb. Govrin will serve as the head of the Israeli Liaison Office in Morocco, which was previously opened in 1994 and closed six years later, during the Second Intifada.

Morocco had an office in Tel Aviv at the time, which it plans to reopen, as well.

Probe of Shin Bet Interrogators Dropped Attorney General Avichai Mandelblit shelved a probe of Shin Bet interrogators accused of torturing a

Israel’s State Prosecutors Office had launched an investigation after Samer Arbid was seriously hurt while being interrogated by Shin Bet agents. A member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine terror group, Arbid masterminded an attack in August 2019 that killed 17-year-old Rina Shnerb and injured her father and brother via a bomb hidden at a popular stream.

The explosive device was highly complex, unusual for West Bank terror groups, causing Shin Bet agents to exert physical pressure on Arbid in an effort to get him to reveal where he learned his tactical acumen. Arbid was defined as a “ticking time bomb,” a legal term allowing the use of torture to prevent an imminent attack.

The coercive means exerted on Arbid caused him to have a heart attack, leaving him in critical condition for weeks and launching an investigation into whether the physical measures were warranted. During the probe, several Shin Bet agents were questioned under caution on suspicions of unlawful use of force and witness tampering.

The Shin Bet hailed the decision to drop the probe, saying in a statement that it proved that the physical means were warranted in light of the extreme circumstances.

“The information received from the interrogation of the terrorist Samer Arbid, the murderer of Rina Shnerb (may her memory be for a blessing), resulted in the location of many weapons and the prevention of additional terror attacks that were planned by the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine,” said the Shin Bet. Director Nadav Argaman added that the interrogators “carried out

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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The High Court of Justice banned the Shin Bet from using torture as an interrogation method in 1999, ruling that such measures were illegal regardless of the circumstances.

Subsequent legislation allowed the Shin Bet to employ “moderate physical pressure” on suspects defined by a special ministerial committee as a “ticking time bomb.”

“no country” has embarked on such a step.

While admitting the negative effects the travel ban would have on Israel’s economy, Netanyahu told ministers that such a move was needed due to “the urgency of mutations in the world.”

According to the Health Ministry, five more cases of the South African variant were found amongst travelers returning from Durban and Dubai on Sunday, raising the total number of cases to 27.

Israel Shuts Down Air Travel

IDF Yom Kippur War Protocols Released

A complete ban on air travel to and from Ben Gurion went into effect on Tuesday at midnight, cutting off Israel’s link to the outside world.

The unprecedented move intends to prevent variant COVID-19 strains that are resistant to vaccines from entering the country. The closure banned all flights until February save for extraordinary humanitarian cases such as to receive medical care and attend legal proceedings that are approved by a special Health Ministry committee.

Under the new regulations, Israel’s airspace is closed to all foreign airlines except for cargo plans and flights carrying emergency supplies.

Passenger aircraft traversing Israel on their way to a different location will also be allowed to proceed unhindered.

Notably, the ban includes prohibiting aliyah, marking the first time in Israel’s history that the country prevented Jews from immigrating.

Absorption Minister Penina Tamano-Shata voted against the closure, maintaining that Israel could not turn its back on world Jewry.

The plan was approved following a tense government session on Sunday in which ministers were warned

by Health Ministry officials that new COVID-19 mutations could render Pfizer’s and Moderna’s vaccines useless. While the closure is slated to be lifted at the end of January along with the general lockdown, senior officials predicted that it would likely be extended for a considerably longer period.

“We are closing the country hermetically. Just in this week of closing the skies, we will vaccinate another million Israelis,” said Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, noting that

Newly-released protocols of a meeting Prime Minister Golda Meir held with senior army brass shed light on the difficult choices facing Israel’s leadership during the Yom Kippur War in 1973.

The protocols were released last Thursday by the Ministry of Defense after being classified for almost five decades. The transcripts featured five minutes of the secret discussions Meir held with top IDF officers during the first days of the Yom Kippur War. The transcripts show the immense pressure the country’s leadership was under in the war’s first week, as defense officials and Meir deliberated how to save Israel from being completely overrun. In what is considered the worst intelligence failure in Israel’s history, Egypt and Syria launched a surprise attack on Judaism’s holiest day, overpowering the sparse defenders on the Golan Heights and Sinai Desert within hours.

In the now-declassified meeting, IDF generals and Prime Minister Meir debate the wisdom of targeting Damascus with strategic bombing raids to persuade President Hafez Assad to order his troops home.

While some officers supported the idea, others argued that it would lead Assad to retaliate by targeting Isra-

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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Please join Beis Medrash L’Talmud of Touro’s Lander College for Men, New York Medical College & Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine for this special shiur (online via ZOOM)

HaGaon HaRav Asher Weiss

‫שליט"א‬

Rosh Yeshiva and Av Beis Din, Darchei Torah Posek, Sha’arei Tzedek Hospital, Yerushalayim Mechaber, Minchas Asher

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 7TH, 2021 ‫הגאון הרב אשר וייס שליט“א‬

‫ • כ“ה שבט תשפ“א‬10:00am EST

tically, they aren’t attacking cities, and I don’t want to start that,” Elazar answered.

Deputy Chief of Staff Yisrael Tal warned that Israel was liable to face additional attacks by Arab armies should it fail to win a resounding victory. According to Tal, only by decisively defeating the Egyptians and Syrians on the battlefield could Israel dissuade other Middle Eastern countries from seeking to destroy it.

“I agree with the chief of staff that our credibility is going to run out. If there’s not a turning point, then our friends and enemies will reach the conclusion that the State of Israel is weak. Once there is that conclusion, there’s no doubt that the Arabs will want it all and won’t settle for a small amount,” Tal said.

Halachic Guidance and Words of Inspiration for Medical And Health Care Professionals

‫דברי הלכה דברי הדרכה ודברי חיזוק‬ HaRav Weiss shlita is the inaugural recipient of the Rabbi Raphael Zalman Levine HaCohen Endowed Distinguished Talmudic Scholar Award

Larry King Dies

generously endowed by Mr. Joel Margolis of Albany, New York and presented by Touro. This is the second in a series of shiurim delivered by HaRav Weiss as part of the award.

OPENING REMARKS by Touro President and Cardiologist Dr. Alan Kadish

REGISTER FOR THE SHIUR: www.touro.edu/ravweiss CME credits available

For more information please contact Rabbi Moshe Krupka at moshe.krupka@touro.edu

el’s home front.

“We are ready to go back but the Egyptians aren’t totally ready to go back, but they’d be ready for a ceasefire for the following reason: that tomorrow we are bombing all of Syria, including the cities there, and that we are advancing into Syria, and the world will believe that we are strong,” said Chief of Staff David Elazar.

“No one in the world recognizes our weakness, not in Israel, not in America, not the Arabs and not the

Russians. Tomorrow they’ll believe it more, that we are preparing for this, that we are going to Damascus,” Elazar continued.

The shell-shocked IDF commander went on to detail the dismal conditions facing the troops desperately attempting to hold off the invading Syrians and Egyptians until reservists arrived at the battlefield. “We had a night that was not good. Compared to yesterday, on the [Suez] canal, it was a bit better. We succeeded

in blocking them,” said Elazar. “But on the other hand, on the Golan, they broke through our lines in one shot with large quantities of tanks.

“As of now, we have 81 killed, but that doesn’t include the Golan outpost [that had been captured by the Syrian army].”

“Maybe we should bomb Damascus?” asked Yigal Allon, himself a former IDF General.

“Technically there’s no difficulty for us to bomb [Damascus]. But prac-

Larry King, one of the most famous broadcasters of all time, passed away last Saturday at the age of 87.

King passed away at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles due to complications that arose from the coronavirus. His death was announced on his personal Facebook page by Ora Media, a media and production company King owned.

“With profound sadness, Ora Media announces the death of our co-founder, host and friend Larry King, who passed away this morning at age 87 at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles,” the statement said. “For 63 years and across the platforms of radio, television and digital media, Larry’s many thousands of interviews, awards, and global acclaim stand as a testament to his unique and lasting talent as a broadcaster.”

Known for his trademark rolled up sleeves and suspenders, King was a legendary political journalist who conducted an estimated 50,000 in-

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terviews. Over a career spanning six decades, King sat down with the world’s most well-known individuals, including Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, and the Dalai Lama.

Employing a non-confrontational style that relaxed interviewees, King caused celebrities to lay down their guard and show viewers a more vulnerable side of themselves.

“I don’t pretend to know it all,” King once revealed. “Not, ‘What about Geneva or Cuba?’ I ask, ‘Mr. President, what don’t you like about this job?’ Or ‘What’s the biggest mistake you made?’ That’s fascinating.”

King was born Lawrence Harvey Zeiger to a Jewish family and grew up in Brooklyn. His mother was a garment worker; his father was a restaurant owner. When Larry was 9 years old, his father died and his mother went on welfare. Soon, the family moved from Brownsville to Bensonhurst.

Young Larry loved baseball. After his father passed away, he lost interest in school and never enrolled in college. He became a self-proclaimed “radio freak” and would spend hours listening to broadcasts of baseball games.

“By the time I was in junior high school, I already knew. You could

see it in the school yearbook,” King wrote in his 2009 bestselling autobiography, “My Remarkable Journey.”

“They asked me what I wanted to be, and I told them: a radio announcer.”

When Larry was 23, he took a train to Miami to work in broadcasting. His first radio job consisted of him cleaning a radio station. But a few weeks later, when a morning disc jockey quit, King was asked to go on radio. A few minutes before showtime, the show manager suggested Larry use a less “ethnic-sounding” name. And so, on May 1, 1957, Larry became Larry King.

King’s show gained popularity and he eventually was asked to run Larry King Live, a radio program that quickly topped charts across America. In 1985, King moved his show to CNN, beginning a 25 year run at the channel that would catapult him into one of the world’s biggest stars.

King would go on to host every sitting U.S. president and would become a staple on late night television.

By the time he retired in 2010, King won two Peabody Awards and averaged millions of nightly viewers.

“The scrappy young man from Brooklyn had a history-making career spanning radio and television,” CNN president Jeff Zucker said. “His

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curiosity about the world propelled his award-winning career in broadcasting, but it was his generosity of spirit that drew the world to him.”

Filibuster Fight

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell backed down late Monday evening on his demand that Senate Democrats promise to preserve the filibuster.

McConnell’s decision to relent comes after two moderate Democrat senators, Joe Manchin of West Virginia and Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona, said they would vote to keep the filibuster, leaving Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer lacking the votes to end the rule.

“Today two Democratic Senators publicly confirmed they will not vote to end the legislative filibuster,” McConnell said in a statement. “They agree with President Biden’s and my

view that no Senate majority should destroy the right of future minorities of both parties to help shape legislation.”

The Senate is now split 50-50 between the two major parties. With Vice President Kamala Harris’s deciding vote, Democrats have a narrow majority which they hope will be sufficient to pass President Biden’s major legislative goals, the first of which is a $1.9 trillion coronavirus relief package.

McConnell noted that the legislative filibuster was a “key part” of the foundation beneath the Senate’s power-sharing agreement the last time the upper chamber was split 5050 in 2001.

“With these assurances, I look forward to moving ahead with a power-sharing agreement modeled on that precedent,” McConnell said.

Schumer had pushed McConnell to agree to a power-sharing agreement or organizing resolution similar to the 2001 agreement between Republicans and Democrats, but the Kentucky Republican had insisted that Democrats vow not to scrap the filibuster, the procedural tool wherein the minority party can effectively demand 60 votes to pass most legislation.

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Fauci Raking It In

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Dr. Anthony Fauci, the top disease expert in the U.S., is the highest-paid federal government employee in the U.S. – surpassing even the president.

Fauci pulled in $417,608.00 in 2019 – his largest haul ever – and in the previous two years earned $384,625.00. According to Forbes, from 2010 to 2019, Fauci, the head of the National Institute for Health, earned $3.6 million.

Many in the media and on the left have heralded Fauci as a calming presence in the pandemic. But there are many others who note that he has been inconsistent with his messaging and basks in his newfound stardom.

The Forbes report pointed to an interview Fauci had with actor Matthew McConaughey in August 2020.

The actor asked him if he had millions invested in COVID-19 vaccines and Fauci responded, “Matthew, no…I got zero. I am a government worker. I have a government salary.”

On Monday, Fauci called President Biden’s decision to reinstate travel restrictions – and add South Africa to the list – “prudent.”

“We have concern about the mutation that’s in South Africa,” Fauci told “CBS This Morning.” “We’re looking at it very actively. It is clearly a different and more ominous than the one in the U.K., and I think it’s very prudent to restrict travel of noncitizens.”

Power Naps Naps are not just for babies. Power naps can keep your brain active and make you smarter.

Researchers in Shanghai define a nap as sleep lasting between five minutes and two hours. The researchers studied more than 2,200 people over the age of 60. Over 1,500 of these participants took a regular nap after lunch.

“Taking a regular afternoon nap

may be linked to better mental agility,” corresponding author Dr. Lin Sun and the team write in a media release to the British Medical Journal.

“It seems to be associated with better locational awareness, verbal fluency, and working memory.”

A person’s chances of developing dementia increase as they get older, and they experience the natural neurodegenerative changes that come with age. In the developed world, around one in 10 people over the age of 65 suffer from some form of the condition. Cognitive decline can result in memory loss, speech impairments, and even problems with motor control.

“As people age, their sleep patterns change, with afternoon naps becoming more frequent,” the Chinese researchers explain. “But research published to date hasn’t reached any consensus on whether afternoon naps might help to stave off cognitive decline and dementia in older people or whether they might be a symptom of dementia.”

They conclude, “The MMSE [Mini Mental State Exam] cognitive performance scores were significantly higher among the nappers than they were among those who didn’t nap,” study authors report. “And there were significant differences in locational awareness, verbal fluency, and memory.”

The test screening for dementia featured 30 parts that measure cognitive ability including visuo-spatial skills, working memory, attention span, problem solving, locational awareness, and verbal fluency.

How does napping benefit the brain?

“One theory is that inflammation is a mediator between mid-day naps and poor health outcomes. Inflammatory chemicals have an important role in sleep disorders,” the research team concludes. “Sleep regulates the body’s immune response, and napping is thought to be an evolved response to inflammation. People with higher levels of inflammation also nap more often.”

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Merck Ends Vaccine Bid

This week, pharmaceutical giant Merck announced that it would be giving up on developing a Covid-19 vaccine, after it saw poor results for its two vaccine candidates.

According to Dennis Carroll, who led the pandemic unit at the federal Agency for International Development for nearly 15 years, it’s not surprising that Merck dropped its bid.

“Merck’s announcement in many ways underscores just how extraordinary the success of the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines are,” Carroll told USA TODAY. “Merck’s announced ‘failure’ comes on the heels of other reports on field trials of the Chinese and Russian vaccines that show modest – at best – efficacy.”

The Merck vaccines were differ-

ent from the others in that they used distinct, harmless viruses to deliver their payload. Merck cited “inferior” immune responses based on early trial data: Both candidates generated fewer neutralizing antibodies than other candidates.

With Merck deciding not to pursue its vaccine, hopes for a “one-shot” vaccine suddenly diminishes.

Goodbye Hammerin’ Hank Baseball legend and civil rights icon Hank Aaron passed away last Friday. He was 86.

Aaron’s passing was announced by the Atlanta Braves, who said in a statement that the longtime outfielder passed away in his sleep.

“We are absolutely devastated by the passing of our beloved Hank,” said Braves Chairman Terry McGuirk. “He was a beacon for our organization first as a player, then with player development, and always with our community efforts.

“His incredible talent and resolve helped him achieve the highest accomplishments, yet he never lost his humble nature,” continued the state-

ment. “Henry Louis Aaron wasn’t just our icon, but one across Major League Baseball and around the world. His success on the diamond was matched only by his business accomplishments off the field and capped by his extraordinary philanthropic efforts.”

Known as “Hammerin’ Hank” for his power, Aaron was one of the greatest hitting players in baseball history.

Playing 23 seasons for the Braves in Milwaukee and Atlanta, Aaron broke Babe Ruth’s all-time record of 715 home runs in 1974, finishing his career with 755.

Aaron’s record would stand for another three decades until it was broken

by Barry Bonds in 2007, who would go on to hit 762 home runs. Aaron had a career .305 batting average and was a 25-time All Star due to the fact that the MLB played two All-Star Games a year from 1959 until 1962.

In 1957, Aaron won his only MVP award after slugging 44 home runs and batting .322 with 132 RBI. Aaron played a key role in leading the Braves to a World Series victory that year, hitting .393 with three home runs and seven RBI in the seven game Fall Classic.

Prior to becoming a baseball legend, Aaron was born in Alabama to a family that struggled with poverty and widespread racism. Growing up in the segregated South, the baseball-obsessed Aaron worshipped Jackie Robinson, baseball’s first-ever African American player, and vowed to replicate his success on the diamond.

Aaron began his baseball career by playing outfield for the Indianapolis Clowns of the Negro American League. His power and speed attracted the attention of Major League scouts, and Aaron was signed by the Milwaukee Braves in 1951 after playing only 26 games.

Aaron would make his Major League debut in 1954, beginning his record-breaking career. He worked for the Braves as an executive after retiring in 1982 and was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1982 with 98.8%

of the vote, the second highest percentage in history.

Major League Baseball Commissioner Robert Manfred Jr. hailed “Hank’s impact on our sport and the society” in a statement released after Aaron’s death was announced on Saturday.

“Hank Aaron is near the top of everyone’s list of all-time great players,” Manfred said.

NRA Sued for Pittsburgh Massacre

The son of two victims of 2018’s Tree of Life shooting in Pittsburgh is suing the National Rifle Association (NRA) for what he says is their role in the massacre.

The lawsuit was filed by Marc Simon, who lost his parents, Sylvan and Bernice, in the grisly Shabbat morning attack. It also includes the Colt’s Manufacturing Company, which produced the AR-15 rifle shooter Robert Bowers used to kill 11 worshippers.

Simon alleged that the NRA’S “inflammatory rhetoric” led to the deadly shooting, citing statements from NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre he alleged fueled Bowers’ anti-Semitic beliefs.

“Bowers was not born fearing and hating Jews,” read the court filing. “The gun lobby taught him to do that.” In addition, the suit alleges that Colt could have stopped the massacre by preventing the rifle from “bump firing,” referring to a modification allowing the gun to fire continuously.

“The AR-15 assault weapon that Bowers used to send 11 Jews to their graves should never have been available on the civilian market,” said the complaint.

The NRA denied the claims, saying in a statement that it opposes violence and anti-Semitism. The gun lobby filed for bankruptcy last week, resulting in a stay that automatically freezes any lawsuits for the near future. The complaint against Colt, however, will proceed.

“The NRA promotes the safe, lawful use of firearms and is saddened by this horrific event,” said NRA Spokes-

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SPRING SPRING SPRING

person Andrew Arulanandam. “We stand with those who strictly enforce our current gun laws and call for the protection of all houses of worship.”

The 2018 attack left 11 worshippers dead in what was the deadliest act of anti-Semitic violence in U.S. history.

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Former White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is running for governor of Arkansas.

Sanders announced her plans in a video she released on Monday on Twitter and promised to defend Arkansas from the “radical left now in control of Washington.”

“As governor, I will defend your right to be free of socialism and tyranny,” Sanders said in the 8-minute-long video. “Our state needs a leader with the courage to do what’s right, not what’s politically correct or convenient.”

Sanders will need to beat a competitive primary field to replace Governor Asa Hutchinson, who is leaving office after two terms. Also running are Attorney General Leslie Rutledge and Lieutenant Governor Tim Griffin.

The daughter of former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, Sanders has deep roots in the Republican Party and served for two years as Donald Trump’s press secretary. During her time at the Trump administration, Sanders was known for her adversarial relationship with the press and often sparred with White House correspondents.

The frequent dressing-downs she gave reporters at press briefings won her both fans and detractors. While Democrats viewed her combative relationship as undemocratic, Sanders’ rousing defenses of the Trump administration earned her widespread popularity with conservatives.

Sanders has since published a book titled “Speaking for Myself: Faith, Freedom and the Fight for Our Lives Inside the Trump White House,” in which she recounted working at the White House while being a

working mother. The book became a bestseller, spending 12 weeks on Publishers Weekly, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestseller lists.

Chicago Teachers Vote to WFH

Chicago’s Teachers’ Union voted against returning to in-person learning this week in what is the latest setback to the city’s attempt to get educators to return to the classroom.

The city’s approximately 10,000 teachers for grades 1 through 8 were slated to begin in-person education for the first time since the initial COVID-19 outbreak last March. But following the vote, Chicago officials pushed off schools reopening until Wednesday “to ensure we have the time needed to resolve our discussions without risking disruption to student learning.”

The powerful teachers’ union said in a statement that the concerns over teacher safety regarding possible infection from COVID-19 prevented in-person instruction from resuming. It added that beginning classroom learning was impossible until Chicago’s vaccine distribution program was expanded.

“There’s no doubt we all want to return to in-person instruction,” said the union. “The issue is [Chicago Public Schools’] current unpreparedness for a return to in-person instruction and the clear and present danger that poses to the health of our families and school communities.”

The battle over school reopenings has pitted city hall against one of the country’s most powerful unions. Chicago has attempted to return in-person learning in stages, starting with Pre-K and special needs programs in early January and expanding to grades one through eight on Monday.

The union, though, has stymied the city at every occasion, culminating in this past week’s vote to defy orders to return to work. In early January, Chicago Public Schools (CPS) took the unprecedented step of docking pay for teachers who remained at home. Forbidden from sticking under

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a 2019 agreement reached with the city, the Union argues that remaining home does not constitute an illegal work stoppage because teachers are willing to educate remotely.

“If we are locked out by the mayor and CPS, then the choice to strike is theirs, not ours,” said the union.

dent Trump and political appointees at the Department of Justice went to extreme lengths to prevent us from uncovering the true extent of his corruption. He attempted to short-circuit the rules of legal procedure to have our case dismissed and avoid discovery into his finances, arguing that the law did not apply to him.”

SCOTUS Throws Out Trump Case Do Not Eat This Doughnut The Supreme Court threw out a case charging Donald Trump with illegally profiting from his office while serving as president.

Saying that the issue was irrelevant now that Trump is no longer in office, the justices ordered lower courts to vacate previous rulings against the former president. The Supreme Court’s decision means that it won’t address the question over the applicability of the Emoluments Clause, which has never been put to test since it was first passed in 1810.

The Foreign Emoluments Clause is a constitutional provision banning the president from receiving “any present, Emolument, Office or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince of foreign State” without getting congressional approval.

In a pair of lawsuits filed in New York and Richmond, Virginia, the watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) alleged that Trump was illegally enriching himself through his Washington, D.C., hotel. The Trump International Hotel Washington, D.C., had seen a surge in reservations over the past four years from lobbyists and foreign leaders eager to curry influence with the president.

“We are proud that, because of our case, a court ruled on the meaning of ‘emoluments’ for the first time in American history, finding that the Constitution prohibits federal officials from accepting almost anything of value from foreign or domestic governments,” District of Columbia Attorney General Karl A. Racine and Maryland Attorney General Brian E. Frosh said in a joint statement.

They added: “History will note that at every step of this case, Presi-

If you’re looking for hardened arteries, Disney World may be the place for you.

A doughnut shop at Disney Springs is now selling grilled cheese sandwiches made with doughnut buns.

Everglazed Donuts & Cold Brew opened earlier this month. The store primarily sells coffee and doughnuts – although their sandwiches can all be served on a “griddled glazed doughnut” instead of a bun for just $1 extra.

“Thought Mom made you a pretty mean grilled cheese sammie growing up? Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet!” wrote Everglazed in a Facebook post showcasing the sandwich.

Apparently, many people were missing doughnuts from their grilled cheese fantasies.

“Grilled cheese is a food group without time zones, geographic borders, and without age constraints,” said Everglazed’s executive chef Patrick Steele. “We gave guests the option of substituting a glazed donut and it took off like crazy.”

In addition to its grilled cheese, Everglazed currently serves breakfast sandwiches, a burger, and even a chicken sandwich with optional doughnut buns.

The doughnut shop also offers “hand-crafted flavored milks” and spiked coffees.

Because why not add calories to calorie-laden fare?

Driving Nowhere Fast

Dennis Kahler won the lottery but he’s not a lucky man.

The Georgia man thought he hit the jackpot when he won $250,000 and a new Chevrolet Corvette Stingray in a scratch-off lottery game in December but he’s not burning any rubber on the roads.

Kahler purchased one $5 Corvette and Cash ticket at a kiosk while picking up lunch for his wife at a fastfood restaurant. He hadn’t previously played the game, but found a $5 bill in his pocket and decided to go for it. The contest promised $250G plus enough to buy a fully-loaded Corvette Stingray and cover the taxes and fees, and he would get to keep the difference if anything is left over from the $107G allotment for the car.

When Kahler reached out to a dealer for the car, it was asking $10,000 over list for the in-demand model, which has a base price of $59,995. There’s a shortage of Corvettes in the U.S. due to the pandemic. Kahler doesn’t want to pay $10,000 out of pocket.

For now, until a suitable Corvette comes into the dealer, Kahler will have to satisfy himself with his $250K. Perhaps he can pay for some Ubers with all that cash.

Protect the Smells

areas.

Senators voted to approve the law, which passed through the lower house of parliament last year, on Thursday.

Joël Giraud, the Minister for Rural Affairs, said he celebrated the adoption of the law, which aims to “define and protect the sensory heritage of the French countryside.”

Better understanding the typical “sounds and smells” of rural areas will be useful in “preventing disagreements between neighbors,” the statement continued.

Regional authorities will be tasked with defining “rural heritage, including its sensory identity,” Giraud said.

France has seen an increasing number of social conflicts between long-term residents of rural communities and new arrivals.

One emblematic case involved a rooster called Maurice, who was put on trial in July 2019 after neighbors complained about his early morning crowing. A court in Rochefort, western France, rejected the neighbors’ complaints of noise pollution and ordered them to pay €1,000 (around $1,200) in damages.

The case came to symbolize growing divisions between rural and urban France as the neighbors were city-dwellers who only visited SaintPierre-d’Oléron a few times a year.

“He is a rooster. Roosters have the desire to sing,” Corinne Fesseau, who owned Maurice, said at the time of the trial. “That is the countryside.

We must protect the countryside,” she added.

Christophe Sueur, mayor of Saint-Pierre-d’Oléron, said the verdict was “common sense,” adding: “I am all for preserving French traditions. The rooster cry is a French tradition that needs to be preserved.”

Although Maurice is no longer alive, the law heralds a victory for noise-making creatures like him.

“A posthumous victory for Maurice the rooster, a symbol of rural life!” Giraud tweeted.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Wine Delivery

France has passed a law protecting the “sensory heritage” of its rural

With less people flying, less people are imbibing thousands of feet in the air.

American Airlines is finding itself with a surplus of booze. Now, the airline is hoping to sell and ship

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its excess wine to people who can’t wait to drink to their heart’s content – in their own homes.

Last week, a new program – called American Airlines Flagship Cellars – was launched by the airline. The program gives customers a chance to buy wine by the bottle, in custom “curated” cases, or via a monthly subscription plan that costs $99 per month.

Prices for a single-bottle offering range from $13 to $40. The most expensive bottle on tap is a $300 three-pack of Champagne.

Purchasing the $99 monthly subscription gives customers access to discounted prices and a monthly shipment of three bottles of wines.

Customers will also rack up two AAdvantage Miles for every dollar spent.

American insists that it’s not just about making money. The wine service is more about connecting with its customers.

“Though revenue is important, Flagship Cellars is more so a way of engaging with customers, even when they are not traveling with us,” a spokesperson said.

We know why you fly.

Airbag Jeans

Riding a motorcycle is not very safe but it’s about to get much safer.

A designer of safety equipment for motorcyclists recently unveiled his latest invention: jeans fitted with airbags to prevent leg injuries in crashes.

Moses Shahrivar, who has been designing motorcycle safety jeans since partnering with Harley-Davidson Sweden 16 years ago, notes

that his latest invention uses similar technology to airbag-equipped vests that are currently on the market for protecting a rider’s chest, back and neck in a crash.

The jeans are tethered to the rider’s motorcycle. When the tether is pulled, airbags deploy up and down the wearer’s legs to cushion an impact.

Need these airbags jeans stat?

You may need to wait a while. Only one prototype of the Airbag Inside Sweden AB jeans currently exists, although Shahrivar is in the process of getting the jeans certified to European Union health and safety standards and hopes to bring them to market in 2022.

Until then, perhaps you may want to remember to wear your helmet and stay off of highways.

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40 Days From Tu B’shvat Till AFTER Purim The holy Tehillim

Candyologists Calling all kids!

We have a job that we know you’ll all love, and it’s not taking out the garbage or folding laundry.

A Canadian company is seeking full-time and part-time “candyologists” to serve as taste testers for the company’s chewy confections.

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Candy Funhouse, based in Mississauga, Ontario, says the position requires one to sample and review some of the company’s 3,000 candy and chocolate treats. The job is meant to be done remotely and pays a substantial $47 an hour.

“Candidates should have enthusiasm and eagerness to try confectionary products,” the job posting states.

“We are looking for honest and objective opinions on the products that will be taste tested.”

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Around the

Community It’s All About the Talmidim 21,000 Join Darchei Torah Evening of Celebration

W

hat is it that drives Yeshiva Darchei Torah? What drives its rabbeim? What drives its teachers and administrators?

The answer is, and always has been, the talmidim. From Beis Medrash and mesivta to preschool, talmidim have always been the motivation at Yeshiva Darchei Torah.

Talmidim are what inspire the staff to make every day at yeshiva better than the last. They are what spurred the hanhala through the pandemic to ensure that there was nearly-uninterrupted limud haTorah and education. They motivated efforts to transform the campus into a safe space for everyone to return to in-person learning. And the talmidim are what inspired the Yeshiva to create this year’s Evening of Celebration, a dinner event unlike any before.

The livestream event was the culmination of months of planning, composing, singing, writing, and filming. It combined the efforts of staff, hanhala, rabbeim, teachers, and, of course, the talmidim.

The evening began with a pre-program message of inspiration from Rav Shlomo Avigdor Altusky, Rosh Yeshiva, who offered his unique insights on understanding and growing from the unusual events in the world today.

The program then commenced with words from the dinner’s emcee, Elisha Brecher, co-chairman of the Yeshiva’s board of directors, who soon relinquished the microphone to Shmuel Feintuch, an eighth grade talmid – because it was only fitting that a student lead the evening; a celebration of him and his fellow talmidim.

Following Shmuel, viewers heard

from honorees, rabbeim, and teachers. They got to sit in on a personal conversation between the Rosh HaYeshiva, Rav Yaakov Bender, and a talmid and see the love and devotion that Rav Bender pours into each student. At two separate junctures, Maran Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky, Rosh HaYeshiva of the Yeshiva Philadelphia, appeared, offering divrei bracha and chizuk during the presentation.

A documentary, Rising to the Occasion: from Challenge to Triumph, retold the moving story of the Yeshiva’s multi-faceted response to the pandemic through the actual words of parents who wrote messages of gratitude to the hanhala throughout these challenging months.

What was perhaps the most memorable portion of the evening was the premier of two new music videos featuring talmidim. First, there was a stunning performance of Abie Rotenberg’s “Lulei Sorascha.” The Yeshiva Darchei Torah fifth grade choir was joined by three talented

generations: talmidim, fathers, and grandfathers, as well as alumni and rabbeim, both vocally and on musical instruments.

Interspersed throughout the program were video presentations about the evening’s awardees: Mr. and Mrs. Dovy and Devory Freund of Brooklyn, the guests of honor; Mr. and Mrs. Steven and Shira Stein of Woodmere, the parents of the year; Mr. and Mrs. Shlomo and Deborah Katz of Lawrence, avodas hakodesh award; and Mr. and Mrs. Andrew and Stephani Serotta of Houston, national leadership award. All are current parents in the Yeshiva; Mr. Katz was also himself an early talmid of the elementary school.

A touching tribute to Mrs. Shoshana Strickman, a”h, the wife of lower elementary school menahel, Rav Shmuel Strickman, was shown.

As expressed in the presentation, Mrs. Strickman is sorely missed by her wonderful family, the extended Darchei Torah family, and the countless people who considered her

their best friend. A brief tribute was also presented in memory of Leiby Minzer, a”h, an alumnus of the Yeshiva who passed away one year ago.

The evening closed with the performance of a new song, composed

by Joey Newcomb and performed by him alongside Benny Friedman and the Yeshiva Darchei Torah fifth grade choir. The premiere of this song was a spectacle of sound, light, and dancing—a beautiful end to the evening.

By the end of the event, there had been at least 21,000 live participants, with an additional 11,000 (and counting) views since then.

Each and every viewer witnessed the truth of that evening’s theme—that it’s all about the talmidim.

If you haven’t yet seen Yeshiva Darchei Torah’s Evening of Celebration, you can still view it in its entirety at www.Darchei.org/live or by requesting a disc from the Yeshiva office at 718.868.2300 ext. 301 or dinner@darchei.org.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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PLAY FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A BRAND NEW BASKETBALL HO P!

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Tu B’Shvat at Shulamith ECC

W

alk into the Shulamith ECC building and you will feel like you are surrounded by trees. Greens and browns dominate in the display of the children’s unique Tu B’Shvat artwork.

Beautiful wood sculptures, tree paintings, and bark rubbings reflect the children’s remarkable learning in every area of the curriculum.

Since Shulamith ECC is dedicated to educating children based on current brain research and best practices, all of the learning the children experience is handson, meaningful, and fun!

The children began their explorations with a visit to the local trees, sketched and examined them from root to crown, while eagerly discussing the functions and

names of each part of a tree.

Our young scientists even compared the width of the trees by seeing how many children were needed to hug each one. They were amazed to learn that in Eretz Yisrael, trees are already beginning to bloom even though our local trees in Woodmere are still in the middle of their long winter sleep.

The children also studied the Shivat Haminim in the best way possible – by exploring and discovering.

They had opportunities to feel, smell, and taste each one. Wheat stalks yielded wheat berries that were ground into flour, and barley was seasoned and cooked into a delicious dish. Children cut open grapes with special kid-safe knives, and figs and dates were sampled.

Rimonim (pomegranates)

yielded hundreds of yummy seeds that were sorted into cups of ten and then carefully counted. Of course, the children learned the names

of each one of the minim in Ivrit as they worked with them.

The children of Shulamith ECC learned to ap-

preciate the beautiful world that Hashem gives us, full of trees and delicious fruit.

Happy Tu B’Shvat to all!

Save the Date: January 31, 2021 Shuvu kicks off Mission: Siyum with an exciting virtual event

F

or three decades, Shuvu has helped Jewish children from non-religious homes return to the path of Torah and Yiddishkeit.

In celebration of their upcoming 30th anniversary, Shuvu students and alumni in Eretz Yisroel have embarked incredible mission. Children who once entered a classroom not even knowing how to say Shema Yisroel are now committing to learn Kol Hatorah Kulah!

Mission:Siyum is an innovative 6-week learning program that will provide men, women and children in the U.S. and the UK with the opportunity to support the Shuvu students in their undertaking. Every part of Tanach and Shas will be learned by both an American partner and a Shuvu student, leading to a grand joint Siyum, on Sunday, March 14, 2021.

On January 31, Shuvu will be hosting an exciting virtual event to officially kick off Mission: Siyum.

The exciting kickoff event will feature musical entertainment from Joey Newcomb, a renowned musical

students a chance to share their stories and explain what the learning experience means to them, and will explain Mission: Siyum to viewers and explain how they can get involved.

Watch the Mission: Siyum kickoff event on January 31! Livestreaming will begin at 8PM EST on missionsiyum.org, matzav.com, and on Yeshiva World News.

Shuvu was founded by Moreinu Horav Avrohom Pam, zt”l, three decades ago on the simple belief: every Jew should have the education and support to connect to their heritage and thrive in Eretz Yisroel. In 77 schools with over 15,000 students and their family members, Torah is being passed to the next generation with love and purity. performer and a long-time supporter of Shuvu. Rabbi Ari Schonfeld, famous for his popular “Night Seder America” program, will be hosting a Torah trivia game called, “That’s my Psak!” with special guest participants.

In addition, Rabbi Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro will be sharing inspirational words of chizuk, while HaRav Reuven Feinstein, HaRav Yisroel Meir Lau, and HaRav Elya Brudny will all share divrei bracha.

The event will also give Shuvu

Join and choose a segment of Torah to learn – be part of this historic movement!

To find out how you can get involved, go to missionsiyum.org.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

Mrs. Krinsky’s sixth grade class at YOSS Mechina won the essay writing contest from Achieve 3000.

The web-based Literacy Program sponsored an ice cream and brownies party for the class

CIJE Comes to HAFTR

MTA Finishes First Semester Strong

I

R

abbi Baruch Noy, Director of STEM and Educational Technology at HAFTR, was an instrumental part of creating the Center for Initiatives in Jewish Education (CIJE) Vex Robotics League, catering to the unique demands of Jewish day schools. Since the competition was created, it has expanded from four schools to over twenty across the tri-state area. HAFTR was the host of last year’s inter school competition. While this year’s event could not be held on the same scale with multiple schools competing in one location, the competition still took place, with CIJE staff visiting each school for an onsite event.

The HAFTR community was treated to an early glimpse of the robots our high school students had created during the Dinnerthon, when

senior Tanchum Yonk explained the rules of the competition and exhibited his team’s robot in action.

On Monday, January 11, HAFTR High School students contended. Students designed their robots from scratch, positioning motors and components so the robots could lift the Vex balls and put them in the goals. Students also programmed the robots using original code. The collaboration among team members was in overdrive as the competition approached, and their dedication impressed all of their faculty advisors.

Mrs. Bohensky and Rabbi Noy expertly guided the robotics teams.

As we await the final results of the competition, what we already know is that the HAFTR students enjoyed themselves and displayed school spirit with pride.

t was an incredible first semester of learning, growth, friendship, and fun at MTA. Talmidim finished the semester strong and celebrated their learning accomplishments. While the semester would normally culminate with each rebbe opening their home for a shiur Shabbaton, rebbeim created new opportunities to bond with their talmidim in yeshiva and help them prepare for finals. Rabbi Danto hosted a “Thursdayton” for his freshman talmidim, balancing intense chazzarah and fun.

They spent multiple sedarim in the Beis Medrash engaging in uplifting chazzarah for their Gemara bechina. Each talmid had the chance to have a farher with Rabbi Danto to see how much they learned in Pesachim and how far they have come in their learning since the beginning of the year. Talmidim heard divrei chizuk from special guest Rav Gav Friedman, who joined them live from Israel via Zoom. They also took breaks between sedarim and had a blast playing roller hockey and enjoying amazing food, including lunch from Sender’s.

Rabbi Pearl and Rabbi Kerner bonded with their talmidim and helped them get ready for their Gemara finals at a Motzei Shabbos

Melave Malka and chazzarah seder in yeshiva, while Rabbi Schenker and Rabbi Gopin held chazzarah sessions for their talmidim on Zoom.

“Each rebbe cares deeply about his talmidim and wants them to feel successful in their accomplishments,” said Associate Principal Rabbi Shimon Schenker. “Our rebbeim truly go above and beyond to form relationships with each talmid, and our talmidim know that they can count on their rebbeim to be there for them and to support them both in and out of the classroom.”

Each day of finals began with divrei chizuk and a shiur for each grade, because it’s always important to make time for Torah every day. Talmidim will also participate in the yeshiva’s Bein Ha’zmanim learning program, where they are encouraged to learn during each day of winter break. Every talmid who participates will be entered into a raffle for great prizes.

Following finals, each talmid received a special MTA sweatshirt, designed by members of Student Council, to commemorate the end of first semester and the beginning of what will surely be another amazing semester of learning and growth!

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

Election day is THIS Tuesday, February 2.

Please be sure to go out and VOTE Jim Gennaro for City Council.

The Leadership and Experience We Need on the City Council.

If YOU don’t Vote, the Community Loses!

ENDORSED BY: Dr. Avgail Ariev • Davd Berger • Nussy Elbogen • Dov Elias • Joshua Glikman • Aviva Hoch • Yossi Hoch Sorelle Idels • Lester Kaufman • Meshulam Lisker • Jennifer Martin • Shlomo Meirov • R’ Yaniv Meirov David Mordukhaev • R’ Shlomo Nisanov • Steve Orlow • Adinah Pelman • Shimi Pelman • Shabsie Saphirstein R’ Chaim Schwartz • R’ Hayim Schwartz • Moshe Sdayeb • Yaakov Serle • Alan Sherman • Jacob Weinberg Yehuda Weinberg • Eddie Yakubov • Jonathan Zalisky

Can’t make it on election day?

VOTE EARLY until Sunday, January 31.

EARLY VOTING HOURS SUN • 1/24 10AM-3PM MON • 1/25 12PM-8PM TUE • 1/26 10AM-6PM WED • 1/27 12PM-8PM THU • 1/28 10AM-6PM FRI • 1/29 7AM-3PM SAT • 1/30 10AM-3PM

EARLY VOTING LOCATIONS

Queens College

Student Union Building 152-45 Melbourne Avenue Flushing, NY 11367

York College

94-20 Guy R. Brewer Blvd.

Jamaica, NY 11451

Queens Borough Hall 120-55 Queens Boulevard Kew Gardens, NY 11424

Go to: https://findmypollsite.vote.nyc/

to find out which early voting site you should vote at, or vote at your regular voting site on Tuesday, February 2.

SUN • 1/31 10AM-3PM Paid for by Common Sense NYC, Inc., Jeffrey Leb, Treasurer.

Top three donors: Stephen Ross, Jack Cayre, Isaac Ash. Not expressly or otherwise authorized or requested by any candidate or the candidate’s committee or agent.

More information at nyc.gov/FollowTheMoney.

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community

SKA Robotics Teams Compete

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he CIJE VEX Robotics League’s annual Robotics Competition was quite different this year because of the pandemic. Usually held in one spot with several schools competing, this year’s competition had schools competing against themselves!

Twelve Stella K. Abraham High School for Girls students in Mr. Andres Pabon’s Engineering Class divided into two teams on Monday, January 11, for the CIJE’s (Center for Initiatives in Jewish Education)

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Through this initiative, the students gained first-hand exposure to robotics, which consists of electrical engineering, mechanical engineering and computer science. This exercise teaches a creative approach to problem-solving as well as the opportunity to hone skills like collaboration, strategic thinking, and troubleshooting.

The goal of Monday’s competition: Take a ball and put it into the hoop. The SKA girls’ robots’ abilities and characteristics were tested against each others’, and it was a very close race to determine the winner.

Mazel tov to SKA Team 1 who were the winners of the fall 2020 competition!

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The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

51

MOUMITA AHMED’S EXTREME VIEWS.

WRONG FOR OUR COMMUNITY AND THE CITY COUNCIL.

[Candidate Moumita Ahmed’s] old tweet called anti-Semitic January 21, 2021

LEADERS IN OUR COMMUNITY SPEAK OUT…

Moumita Ahmed and anti-Israel Congresswoman Ilhan Omar.

KEEP EXTREME MOUMITA AHMED’S VIEWS OFF THE CITY COUNCIL. Paid for by Common Sense NYC, Inc., Jeffrey Leb, Treasurer.

Top three donors: Stephen Ross, Jack Cayre, Isaac Ash. Not expressly or otherwise authorized or requested by any candidate or the candidate’s committee or agent.

More information at nyc.gov/FollowTheMoney.

52

JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

Around the Community PHOTO CREDIT: ISRAEL PESKOWITZ

TREErific Activities

HaRav Noach Isaac Oelbaum affixes the mezuzah with R Yaniv Meirov at the new CHAZAQ and Met Council Lev Aaron food pantry in Kew Gardens Hills, Queens

T

he children at YOSS ECC learned all about Tu B’Shvat and trees this week. They tasted, smelled and compared the Shivas Haminim. They discovered that so many different items come from a tree: wood, paper, cardboard,

tables, shade and so much more.

Some classes went outside and made tree-rubbings, while others painted trees on the easel. Other classes used branches dipped in paint to create tree paintings.

to Mr. Michael Rothschild, founder of the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation, “The Shalom Challenge is a four-week journey of wisdom and inspiration that will have an incredible impact on our relationships and our ability to respect the opinions of others.” When the program officially launches, participants will begin to receive short daily videos or messages via email or WhatsApp, and each week the focus will shift to a different aspect of shalom.

The team behind the Shalom Challenge obviously put a lot of thought into the program. They broke it down into key elements that address the most common impediments to Shalom and worked hard to make the content of the daily messages engaging, practical and most importantly inspiring.

The issue of shalom is complex, and it affects how we relate as distinct communities within Klal Yisroel, how we relate to our acquaintances and family, and how we relate to those who differ from us. All day we are faced with opportunities to decide how we feel about others, how we view them, how we treat them,

and what we ultimately say.

Thousands of people simultaneously viewing the same message every day translates into thousands of acts of acceptance and good will.

Multiply those impulses over the course of the four week Shalom Challenge, and we will have generated a tidal wave of shalom.

We’ve all seen how negative exposure can spark a worldwide movement and raise awareness. Imagine the power of a positive global push for Shalom.

There probably isn’t a person on this planet who hasn’t been impacted by the tragedies and chaotic events of the past year. Hashem says, “Ein kli machzik bracha l’Yisrael ela hashalom”- There is no greater vessel for bracha for Klal Yisrael than shalom.

As we all unite in treating others with respect and acceptance through the Shalom Challenge, we will be creating an incredible layer of bracha and protection for Klal Yisrael.

We all need bracha in our lives, so please take a minute to sign up for the Shalom Challenge or create your own team and join the movement.

Global Shalom Movement By: T. Schiller

W

e all have our opinions.

If there’s one commodity that has flourished this year, this is it.

The tension in our shuls and neighborhoods is obvious to everyone. It’s been that way for the past few months, and from what I hear, it’s the same in many communities the world over. First it was Covid: mask or no mask, minyan or no minyan, indoor or outdoor minyan, open to outsiders or members only, who to invite to a simcha, vaccine or no vaccine. If things weren’t bad enough, as the election loomed, politics came into play, alienating families and the best of friends. The aftermath of the election only seemed to cement the animosity.

While I longed for the days when I could visit with friends and neighbors without fear of offending anyone with my opinions, I couldn’t fathom how things could possibly return to normal. When I recently saw an ad for the Shalom Challenge, I had no idea what it was, but anything to do with shalom certainly grabbed my

attention and I decided to find out more.

Apparently, the Shalom Challenge is the timely brainchild of the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. With so many people at odds, they decided to create a fresh framework to help Shalom go viral on a global scale.

It’s completely free, and its purpose is solely to be marbeh shalom. The campaign is already raising awareness and gaining momentum even though it only officially launches on February 4, which was planned to coincide with the Yahrzeit of the Manchester Rosh Yeshiva, zt”l.

With one look at the Shalom Challenge home page, you know that this is something we haven’t seen before.

The challenge is essentially a call to arms for Jews the world over to “Take Shalom Viral.” You can join as an individual, join a team, or create your own team. Whichever function you choose, you will inevitably be joining family, friends, and countless communities on a mutual quest to re-connect and get along better.

All buzz aside, though, the Shalom Challenge has a very practical and concrete side to it as well. According

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

What’s the difference between Jim Gennaro and the other people running for City Council?

EXPERIENCE.

3-TERM COUNCILMAN.

A RECORD OF RESULTS.

A PROVEN FIGHTER FOR OUR COMMUNITY.

RE-ELECT JIM GENNARO FOR CITY COUNCIL

Proven Leadership & Real Results for These Challenging Times.

✔ Improving

✔ Protecting Our

Our Schools

Environment

Secured over $68 million in funding for local schools and $38 million for youth programs.

Wrote the nationally-acclaimed NYC Climate Protection Act to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and many other landmark environmental laws.

✔ Enhancing Our Quality of Life Rezoned neighborhoods to prevent over-development and passed laws to protect communities from unscrupulous developers.

✔ Keeping Our Community Safe Passed legislation to increase protections for victims of domestic violence and prohibits people who have been convicted of domestic violence from possessing or purchasing guns.

VOTE SPECIAL ELECTION FOR CITY COUNCIL ON TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 2.

Paid for by Common Sense NYC, Inc., Jeffrey Leb, Treasurer.

Top three donors: Stephen Ross, Jack Cayre, Isaac Ash. Not expressly or otherwise authorized or requested by any candidate or the candidate’s committee or agent.

More information at nyc.gov/FollowTheMoney.

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

1.

TJH

*

Centerfold

Are You Hygiene Challenged?

If you do any of these things, you may want to stock up on hand sanitizer — Covid or no Covid

hands with the moist, moldy

towel that has been hanging near the bathroom sink for the past ten years.

 You ever drank out of a water fountain past your tenth birthday.

 You eat gribbines and petcha for breakfast.  You are still wearing the same mask that you wore last Pesach.

You Gotta be Kidding Me! A lumberjack went to a magic forest to cut a tree.

He chose a tree and started swinging it with his axe.

“But, I’m a talking tree,” said the tree.

“And you will dialogue,” replied the lumberjack.

 You apply the 5 second rule, even in restaurants.  You ever used a Porta Potty.  You borrow your friend’s handkerchief when you have to blow your nose.

 Your family has a communal toothbrush.  You lick your fingers when turning the pages of

the old Reader’s Digest at the dermatologist’s office.

 You use the stem of your glasses to clean your ears.

Riddle Me This?

I’m the part of a tree that is not in the sky or under the ground. I can move throughout the day and change shape. What am I? Answer below

Answer to Riddle: Its shadow.

 When in shul, you dry your

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Tree Trivia 1. What percent of the Earth’s land is covered with trees? a. 9% b. 20% c. 31% d. 62%

6. What is the center of the tree trunk called? a. Bark b. Pith c. Root d. Center of the tree trunk

2. How many years old is the “Methuselah,” one of the Earth’s oldest trees, located in the White Mountains of California? a. 394 years b. 1,119 years c. 2,045 years d. 4,849 years e.

7. Which of the following do not grow on trees? a. Esrog b. Avocado c. Tomato d. Banana

3. What type of tree is generally the tallest tree in the world, reaching heights of 350 feet? a. Redwoods b. Weeping Willow c. Pine d. White Willow 4. Approximately how many different species of trees are known to scientists? a. 250 b. 30,040 c. 60,065 d. 200,500 5. What chemical in trees turns water and sunlight into energy? a. Chlorophyll b. Diofix c. Glyphosate d. Bromacil

8. Approximately how many trees are there in the United States? a. 100 million b. 2 billion c. 13 billion d. 228 billion e. Answers

Answers 1. C 2. D 3. A 4. C 5. A 6. B 7. C 8. D Wisdom key: 7-8 correct: You must be a real tree hugger.

4-6 correct: Not bad, but hardly a redwood.

0-3 correct: You may qualify as a tree species – you certainly have a lot of bark!

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

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Torah Thought

Parshas B’Shalach

By Rabbi Berel Wein

T

his week we read in the Torah the final chapter of the liberation of the Jewish people from Egyptian bondage and slavery. After centuries of servitude, the children of Jacob are finally freed from their Egyptian taskmasters and embark on their journey of building a civilization. Yet, the Torah goes to great lengths to point out to us that freedom as a concept cannot exist in a vacuum.

The people must have food to

eat and water to drink. Though the Jewish people will live for 40 years in an unnatural environment in the Desert of Sinai, they do not escape the constant necessities of human life. The L-rd will provide these necessities through miracles – bread from heaven and water from the flint rock. These miracles, perhaps like all other miracles, will require human participation – the gathering of the heavenly bread that falls to the earth and the striking of the rock to force it

to give forth waters.

It can be asked that if L-rd is performing miracles for the Jewish people anyway, then why aren’t the miracles complete – why are they always somehow dependent upon human action as well? The answer to that question lies in the question itself. The adage that G-d helps those who help themselves is a basic tenet and value in Judaism. Miracles provide opportunities, but these, like all opportunities, must be initiated by humans for them to be beneficial and effective.

It is difficult for the Jewish people over the 40-year sojourn in the Desert of Sinai to appreciate their newfound freedom. People become

day, then one should volunteer to spend the rest of one’s life in prison.

He will receive this throughout his incarceration.

In the story of the Jewish people in the desert, when faced with difficult circumstances and upsetting challenges, there was always the murmur that they should return to Egypt and “go back to prison,” for at least then they would be certain of having their three meals a day.

According to many Torah commentaries, this was the fundamental reason why the generation that left Egypt could not be the generation that would enter and conquer the land of Israel and establish Jewish independence in their own state and

Miracles provide opportunities

accustomed to almost anything, and this includes slavery and servitude. An independent people create their own society, provide their own needs, and continually jostle in a contentious world to retain that freedom.

A people accustomed to slavery will find this to be particularly challenging. Slavery induced in their minds and spirit a false sense of regularity that bordered upon security.

The president of the United States once remarked that if one wants to be certain of having three meals a

under their own auspices. Psychologically, they were not ready to be a free people with all the burdens that accompany freedom and independence.

They could accept the Torah, be intellectually religious, admire Moshe and believe in the Al-mighty. But they were unable to free themselves from the psychological shackles of Egyptian bondage. nd there are no miracles that can do that for human beings. Only human beings can do that for themselves.

Shabbat shalom.

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hakaitz

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From the Fire Parshas B’Shalach

The Redemption of Speech

By Rav Moshe Weinberger Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

M

an is defined as one who speaks. The Torah (Bereishis 2:7) describes Hashem’s creation of man as follows: “And He blew into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living being.”

In his Aramaic translation of “l’nefesh chaya, a living being,” Onkolus translates those words as “ruach m’malelah, a speaking being.” We therefore see that the power of speech defines man. Man’s speech and the essence of his life are one.

Regarding the importance of listening to the Torah taught by one’s parents, the pasuk in Mishlei 4:22 says, “Ki chaim haeim l’motza’eihem, for they are life for those who find them.” The Gemara (Eruvin 54a) explains this pasuk as follows: “Do not read l’motza’eihem as ‘to those who find them’; rather read it as l’motza’eihem b’peh, ‘to those who pronounce them orally.’” We therefore see that true life and speech are intertwined.

The living soul is expressed through speech. Likewise, one draws out the living soul from within himself by speaking.

The Seforim Hakedoshim teach that, in Egypt, the power of speech was in exile. Even our redeemer’s speech was impaired. Moshe was described (Shmos 4:10) as “heavy of mouth and heavy of tongue,” and as (Shmos 6:12) an “arel sefasaim,” a person with “impaired speech.”

Moshe also said about himself (Shmos 4:10), “I am not a man of words.” His power of speech was covered, concealed, and blocked. Indeed, the Jewish people were unable to hear Moshe’s words, as the pasuk (Shmos 6:9) says, “And they did not listen to Moshe because of their shortness of

breath and the hard work.” This is further reflected in Pharaoh’s name, which is a contraction of the words, “peh rah, evil mouth.” The Jewish people’s response to the suffering in Egypt was (Shmos 2:23), “And they cried out … and they groaned.” They were unable to daven to Hashem with words.

The power of speech, when it is free, is expressed on a number of different levels, the highest of which is shira, song. It is the mouth’s highest mode of expression. Song is the greatest expression of man’s essence as a living being. When a person is filled with vitality, he cannot be satisfied with speaking alone. He must sing. That is why we say in the tefilla “Nishmas,” “Would that our mouths were filled with song like the sea and our tongues with exultation like its numerous waves...”

Therefore, the yom tov which relates to the redemption from Egypt, from the exile of speech, is called Pesach, which is a contraction of the words “peh sach, speaking mouth.”

When the redemption came, speech

was no longer in exile and our mouths were then able to speak. Our newly unleashed power of speech soon turned into song, as we say in davening, “A new song, praising redemption.”

The Torah uses four words to describe the redemption (Shmos 6:6-7) which correspond to the four cups of wine we drink at the Seder. This relationship between wine and singing songs of praise for Hashem’s redemption is expressed by the halacha (Brachos 35a) that the Levi’im “only sing over the wine [of the libations].”

With wine, a person’s innermost song is released, as the Gemara (Eruvin 65a) says, “When wine enters, the secret comes out.” In addition, an onen, one who has just lost a close family member, may not drink wine.

The loss of a living soul renders him “songless.” Aharon Hakohen was silent when two of his sons died because silence surrounds the person facing death.

As long as the Jewish people were still in Egypt, they were compared (see the sefer Arvei Nachal, parshas

Eikev) to “a fetus in its mother’s womb.” Regarding a fetus, Chazal say (Nida 30b) that “its mouth is closed.”

Because it is not yet fully in the category of the living, it has no power of speech, but the final act which prepares it for birth is the angel’s strike on the mouth, which opens up its mouth (Ibid.).

The redemption from Egypt and Song at the Sea represented the birth of the Jewish people and the redemption of speech. Regarding that time, when we transitioned from the world of the “dead” to the world of those who are truly living, Chazal say that the song we sang that day is reminiscent of the ultimate resurrection of the dead (Rashi on Shmos 15:1).

The redemption from Egypt was also simultaneously a redemption of the power of speech and our birth as a nation. Not only did the Jewish people go from speechless to speaking, and then to singing, but even the babies in their mothers’ wombs sang the Song at the Sea in gratitude of Hashem’s redemption (Sota 30b).

How does the song the Jewish people sang through prophecy connect to Tu B’Shvat, the Rosh Hashana for trees, when, in the dead of winter, Chazal teach (Rashi on Rosh Hashana 14a) that the trees’ sap begins to rise as they come to life again in preparation for spring?

Rav Tzadok Hakohein of Lublin in Resisei Laila (34) explains that the word for prophet, “navi,” comes from the word niv, speaking, as in the pasuk (Yeshaya 57:19) “niv sefasaim, speech of the lips.” Rav Tzadok explains that the same root word also means “produce” or “fruit,” as in the phrase “tenuvas ha’aretz, the produce

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of the land,” so that the same word can mean the speech of a person’s mouth or the fruit of a tree. And, as we know, the Torah is homiletically interpreted to teach that man is compared a tree, as the pasuk says (Devarim 20:19), “Man is like a tree of the field.” The fruit of man’s humanity is his speech.

A tree only begins giving forth its fruits when it is filled with life, when the sap begins to rise. Similarly, a person can only give forth his fruits when he is connected to his roots, when he is truly alive. A prophet is one who is speaks because he is connected to the source, to the living soul within him. This is why the exodus from Egypt took place in the spring, when the world comes to life and the trees begin bearing fruit.

That is when our mouths open up, as we say in the Haggada, “The more one relates [about the exodus], it is praiseworthy.” This an expression of our connection to prophecy, which is connected to the concept of speech, as Chazal say about the Jewish people (Pesachim 66a), “If they are not prophets, then they are the sons of prophets.”

Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai The beginning of the development of the power of speech, of the fruit of the tree, is on Tu B’Shvat, the Rosh Hashana for trees. But the date of Tu B’Shvat is subject to a dispute.

The Mishna at the beginning of Rosh Hashana relates that “the first of Shvat [Rosh Chodesh Shvat] is the Rosh Hashana for trees according to Beis Shammai. Beis Hillel say that it is on the fifteenth of Shvat.”

It is no coincidence that Moshe regained the power of speech on the same day Beis Shammai identified as the Rosh Hashana for trees, Rosh Chodesh Shvat. As the Torah says (Devarim 1:1, 3), “These are the words which Moshe spoke to all of the children of Israel... on the eleventh month [Shvat], on the first of the month Moshe spoke to the children of Israel...” The Midrash (Devarim Raba, parshas Devarim) says: “Until Moshe merited Torah, it says about him, ‘I am not a man of words,’ but once he merited Torah, his tongue was healed and he began to speak.”

The Midrash is based on the pasuk in Mishlei (15:4) that says, “A healing tongue is the tree of life.”

The pasuk in Devarim continues (Devarim 1:5), “And Moshe began to explain the Torah,” which Rashi interprets to mean that “he explained the Torah to them in the seventy languages.” With the Torah, the exile of speech ended and not only did Moshe begin speaking without any impediment, but his speech exploded into all seventy root languages. We therefore see that the full expression of the power of speech on Pesach, the redemption from Egypt, began on Rosh Chodesh Shvat, the Rosh Hashana for trees, according to Beis Shammai. “A healing tongue is the tree of life.”

The truth is that anything actualized during the month exists in potential on the Rosh Chodesh of that month. It is known that (Yevamos 14a) “Beis Shammai are sharper.”

They pierce to the root of the matter.

That is why we will pasken like Beis Shammai in the World to Come, but not in this world (see Zohar Bereishis 17a). They pierce so deeply that the truth of their position cannot be appreciated in this world. Therefore, even though we do not pasken like Beis Shammai that the Rosh Hashana for trees is on Rosh Chodesh Shvat, they looked into the nature of reality on the subtlest level and saw that the potential for the rising of the trees’ sap exists even on Rosh Chodesh Shvat. Beis Hillel believed that the psak should follow apparent reality.

That is why they maintained that the Rosh Hashana for trees should be on the fifteenth of Shvat, when the sap actually began to rise.

This difference between Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai also exists between Moshe and Aharon. The final letters of Moshe’s statement, “Lo ish devarim anochi, I am not a man of words,” spells Shammai. And when Hashem says about Aharon (Shmos 4:14, 16), “Aharon your brother the Levi ... will be a mouth for you,” the first letters of the phrase, “Hu yehiyeh lecha l’peh, he will be a mouth for you,” spells “Hillel.”

Moshe saw to the ultimate depth of each matter, so he wore a mask because of the radiance of his connection to Hashem and did not connect to the people as closely as Aharon, his

brother. And Aharon connected to the people, who mourned extensively when they lost him. The connection between Shammai and Moshe is made with the last letters of the words of the pasuk because it is the way of Shami to go to the depths of the matter, to the end, to the root. In contrast, the connection between Hillel and Aharon is made with the initial letters of the words of the pasuk because Hillel always paskened according to that which was most readily apparent, that which was revealed. That is also why Hillel said (Avos 1:12), “Hillel says, be among the students of Aharon...”

The tzaddikim teach that in order to attain true life, our avodah, our job, during the month of Shvat is to work on using our power of speech, the fruit of our essence as human beings, properly. This is the proper way to prepare for Pesach, the redemption of the power of speech. We must therefore purify our speech from lashon hara, talking in shul, misleading speech, and improper language.

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Even people who have been particularly careful not to talk in shul can slip from their earlier commitment.

And when it comes to lashon hara and tale bearing, it goes without saying that many of us need to strengthen our use of the power of speech in this area.

We must purify this ultimate expression of our humanity, our power of speech in order to be redeemed from this final stage of our exile. As the pasuk (Tehillim 126:2) says, “Then our mouths will be filled with joy and our tongues with song.” And, as we say in the Haggada before making the bracha on the second cup of wine, “And we shall give thanks to You with a new song upon our redemption and the saving of our souls.”

Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the founding Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and serves as leader of the new mechina Emek HaMelech.

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Parsha Ponderings Parshas B’Shalach

I Believe

By Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky

HaRav Isser Zalman Meltzer, zt"l

P

arshas B’Shalach contains the story of the miraculous crossing of the Jews over the Yam

Suf after they departed from Egypt.

After they crossed the sea through dry land, they sang to Hashem the

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song of Az Yashir. Interestingly, before they sang, the Torah tells us, “And they believed in Hashem and in Moshe His servant.”

Seemingly, it’s obvious that they believed in Moshe and in Hashem.

They just experienced the greatest miracle since Creation! Why does the Torah deem it necessary to tell this to us?

a talmid chocham, and by your request, I understand that you believe in the blessing of a talmid chocham.

You have nothing to worry about.

Your emunas chachomim, belief in a talmid chocham, should be a merit for you that your husbands return home safely.”

Indeed, they did.   

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   My grandfather, Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt”l, tells this story.

At the beginning of World War I, many young Jewish men were drafted into the Russian army, including residents of the city of Slutzk. Their wives, young mothers of a few children, were extremely anxious, nervous and broken. Who knew if they would ever see their husbands again?

They immediately turned to their rav, the saintly Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer, and begged him for a blessing that their husbands would return safely.

He turned to them and said, “I am

Rav Binyamin, zt”l, would repeat the Mechilta, which asks a simple question. Why does the Torah have to tell us that they believed in Hashem and Moshe? If they believed in Moshe, then surely, they believed in Hashem.

The Mechilta answers, “One who believes in the power of a leader of the Jewish Nation is considered as if he believes in Hashem who created the world.”

The power of tzaddikim is never to be underestimated – and neither is the power of one who believes in them.

Call: 917-543-0497 - Leave a message Mail: Rabbi S. M. Leiner, CLTC P.O. Box # 7655 600 Franklin Ave. Ga Garden City, NY 11530

Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky is the Director of Advancement at Yeshiva of South Shore – Yeshiva Toras Chaim Beis Binyamin. He is currently compiling the Torah thoughts from his grandfather, Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt”l, into print, in Hebrew and English. If you have any stories or divrei Torah to share from his grandfather, or to subscribe to receive a weekly dvar Torah from Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky’s teachings, you can email him at skamenetzky@yoss.org.

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Delving into the Daf

Minutes Till Minchah

By Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow

T

he very first paragraph in Shulchan Aruch expounding the laws of Minchah raises the following question: “What if there is barely any time left for Minchah?” How appropriate! Very often, people are busy and leave Minchah prayers for the last possible moment.

The Shulchan Aruch says that if time is too short to complete the chazzan’s recitation of Shemoneh Esrei within the appropriate time, the recitation of the first three brachos will suffice.

When is the appropriate time by which the chazzan should complete his recitation? Rebbe Shlomo Zalman, zt”l, says that it is shekiah, sundown. Chassidim would certainly disagree with this ruling. I remember the time I drove up to the mountains, and it was pitch black outside.

I located a Satmar bungalow colony and entered the shul to catch Ma’ariv.

To my dismay, they were already up to the silent Shemoneh Esrei. I figured I would daven Shemoneh Esrei with them and say birchos Shema and keriyas Shema afterwards. I was totally flabbergasted when the chazzan began reciting chazaras ha’shatz.

It then dawned on me that they were in the middle of Minchah!

The Maharit says that one should certainly not leave Minchah for the last possible moment. Perhaps an urgent situation will arise and one will miss the opportunity to daven Minchah. As the Gemara writes in Berachos, in Eretz Yisrael, they curse one who waits until sunset to daven Minchah. Further, he cites our Gemara in Pesachim (65a) that illustrates that, as a general rule, one should never be one of the procrastinators.

Everyone in Klal Yisrael has a mitzvah to eat from the Korban Pesach on Pesach night. Consequently,

there were many korbanos that needed to be slaughtered and offered on erev Pesach. The sheer number of Jews made it difficult for everyone to offer their korban Pesach at the same time. So, there were three shifts of Jews offering their Korban Pesach.

The Gemara cites biblical support for these three shifts.

The last shift was called the lazy shift. The name implies that the last shift comprised lazy people. The Gemara is incredulous and asks: Who says that those individuals are lazy – perhaps they just ended up in the last shift? After all, some people have to be last! Moreover, even if there were only a few Pesachim to be brought that day, they still were separated into three shifts. To which the Gemara replies, “Yes, someone has to be last but it doesn’t have to be you!” Individuals should strive to make sure that they are not in the last shift.

So, too, when it comes to Minchah, one can fulfill his obligation of davening Minchah lechatchila as long as he finishes by sunset, but why wait until the last moment? An

individual should always strive to perform mitzvos while there is still plenty of time left.

When is the preferred time to daven Minchah?

According to the Shulchan Aruch (233:1), one should not daven Minchah before nine and a half halachic hours have passed in the day. This time is referred to in halachic literature as Minchah ketanah. (These hours are calculated by dividing the daylight time into 12. In New York, these hours can be as long as 70 minutes in the summer, and as short as 50 minutes in the winter.)

The Gemara told us earlier that on an average day the Korban Tamid was brought nine and a half hours into the day. Since the Minchah service corresponds to the afternoon Tamid, it is appropriate to daven at the time the afternoon Tamid would have been brought if the Beis HaMikdash were standing. Since the Tamid was not brought before nine and a half hours into the day, one should not daven Minchah before this time.

Rebbe Akiva Eiger comments that initially one should daven Minchah exactly at this time, to reflect the symbolism.

Still, the Shulchan Aruch writes that if one did daven Minchah after a half hour past midday, he has fulfilled his obligation. Further, the Mishnah Berurah quotes the Rosh and Tur who totally disagree and say that one can even lechatchila daven Minchah after a half hour past midday. The Mishnah Berurah writes that one may certainly rely on the lenient opinions if one would like to start a large meal or embark on a trip. These activities should be started after one has already davened Minchah.

The Maharit writes that initially one should strive to finish Minchah by ten and three-fourths hours into the day. This accords with the opinion of Rebbe Yehuda, who holds that after this time one may already daven Ma’ariv.

Still, the Pischei Teshuva writes that the Arizal was meticulous to daven close to sunset based on a Gemara in Berachos that seems to indicate this.

At any rate, the moral of this article is that generally one should not put off mitzvos until the last possible moment. One should strive to be prompt and not push things off.

There is so much more to write about this subject, but I’ll save it for later, as this article is already being submitted at the last moment.

Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow is a rebbe at Yeshiva Ateres Shimon in Far Rockaway. In addition, Rabbi Sebrow leads a daf yomi chaburah at Eitz Chayim of Dogwood Park in West Hempstead, NY. He can be contacted at ASebrow@gmail.com.

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Think, Feel, Grow

Have You Ever Experienced a Miracle?

By Shmuel Reichman

I

magine you meet someone and immediately notice something peculiar: he walks around incessantly clapping his hands. The next day, you realize that once again he is walking around clapping his hands. As this pattern continues for several weeks, you assume that he must have some kind of biological disorder forcing him to act this way. You begin to get used to the strange behavior, accepting this boy’s nature. One day, as usual, you see him clapping his hands. Suddenly, the inexplicable happens: the boy stops clapping his hands, looks right, then left, waves at you, and then goes back to clapping his hands again. Your first response is absolute shock; a moment later, you begin to realize the fascinating truth: this boy doesn’t have a disorder, and he isn’t being forced to clap his hands. Every moment, he chooses to clap his hands. As soon as you witness a brief moment when he chooses not to clap his hands, you know that the clap-

ping has been in his control all along.

The Miraculous and the Natural We are complicated beings, living in an exceedingly complex world.

Many people become overwhelmed by the complexities of life and choose to live within the confines of simplicity rather than attempt to navigate the tumultuous path towards the truth. Yet, those driven by imagination, curiosity, and a higher will choose to embrace the complexities of this world, seeing the true beauty behind the nuance and sophistication of the Torah and our universe. Those striving for the truth constantly question the nature of the world we live in.

Through the miracles and makkos of Yetzias Mitzrayim, Hashem revealed Himself to the world. The laws of nature were broken, the impossible became possible, the unfathomable, fathomable. But to fully understand

and appreciate the meaning of a miracle, we must first attempt to understand nature itself.

The very idea of nature is enigmatic. After all, what do we mean when we refer to the natural? Naturally, what goes up tends to come back down.

Nature also causes rainstorms, hurricanes, and tornadoes and appears to be responsible for disease and illness.

We tend to give nature credit for most of what happens in this world.

However, any thoughtful Jew should be troubled by the concept of nature. If Hashem created this world, how are we supposed to approach nature? Is nature independent from Hashem?

To answer these questions, let us take a step back, and analyze the different forms of belief and disbelief in Hashem.

Three Forms of Disbelief in Hashem The Ramban (Ramban Al Ha’To-

rah- Shemos 13:16) famously delineates the three basic types of disbelievers in Hashem: • The first category is comprised of those who do not believe in Hashem at all. They believe instead that the world has always existed, without any Creator whatsoever. After all, when you look around, do you see Hashem? You can’t see, hear, touch, smell, or taste Him, so how can you know that He exists? Such questions have caused many to reject the existence of Hashem altogether.

• However, there is a second category of disbelievers: those who are willing to accept Hashem’s existence.

They look around and observe a world that is so exceedingly sophisticated and beautiful and conclude that there must have been a Creator who designed it. Just spend a few days studying human biology, and you will marvel at the wonder and brilliance of a single human being. However, this second category of people claims that once

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Hashem created the world, He left. As a result, Hashem is unaware of anything happening in this world. This is referred to as the watchmaker theory: once a watchmaker creates a watch, he leaves it and it continues to run completely on its own.

There are a number of reasons why people would feel abandoned and therefore adopt such a theory: Again, we cannot see Hashem in a revealed manner. Additionally, if Hashem is an all-powerful and perfect being, why would He lower Himself to deal with the finite, limited world that we inhabit. Furthermore, when you look around the world, you see so much pain, suffering, bloodshed, and sickness. Even worse, these terrible afflictions often plague tzaddikim, while many risha’im seem to live peaceful, often extremely pleasant lives. Why would Hashem allow this to happen if He were running the world?

Within this group, others mistakenly think Hashem is like most human beings, who begin a project, eventually tire of it, and move on to something else. They claim that, after creating the world, Hashem moved on to some other project or interest, leaving us abandoned in the universe.

These are just a few of the reasons that this second group of people claim that Hashem has left our world to the random and coincidental occurrences of nature.

• Finally, the third group claims that Hashem did not leave this world, but is rather limited and weak, unable to intervene in the events in this world.

He is fully aware of what is happening in this world but remains passive. This group claims that Hashem might have been powerful enough to create the world, but He is not powerful enough to control it. Thus, they question Hashem as an all-powerful Being.

Yetzias Mitzrayim: Uprooting All Three The Ramban continues by explaining that the events of Yetzias Mitzrayim uprooted and disproved all three of these heretical perspectives. By performing the ten makkos, splitting the Yam Suf, and redeeming Klal Yisrael, Hashem shattered each mistaken paradigm. Beyond revealing the fact that Hashem exists, He knows everything that occurs in this world, and He is

capable of intervening. Hashem also revealed His all-encompassing power.

Through the miraculous events of Yetzias Mitzrayim, Hashem showed His control over – and ability to uproot – the laws of nature. However, the question then becomes: what is nature?

If you take a moment to contemplate nature, you will find that almost everything in this world involves a cause-and-effect relationship. The world seems to abide by certain rules, with very few exceptions. Why does the sun rise every morning? Why do seeds grow when you plant them, give them

nature at any point. He will therefore daven to Hashem with tremendous kavanah: “Please don’t interfere and mess up my plans.”

This person believes that everything runs naturally unless Hashem decides to interfere. Rav Dessler places this as the lowest of the three levels of belief.

B) Hashem Created and Controls Nature The second, higher level of belief is maintained by those who believe that Hashem directly controls nature and causes everything in this world

Nature itself is really a hidden miracle.

water, and provide sunshine? Why does time always move forward? How does a complex human body maintain homeostasis? How does such an intricate planet maintain homeostasis?

When you take a moment to ponder these questions, you can’t help but wonder: what is causing all this order?

Of course, the answer must be: nature.

This brings us back to our original question: what is nature?

Three Ways of Understanding Nature Rav Eliyahu Dessler explains that even those who do believe in Hashem have different ways of understanding nature. These differences in understanding correlate to three distinct levels of belief.

A) Hashem Created Nature The first level of belief is maintained by those who completely believe in Hashem’s existence but also believe in a concept called nature. While Hashem may have created nature, it is a self-governing, independent entity that maintains this world. Hashem is a transcendent Being and exists beyond this world, while nature is the mechanism that governs our physical world.

Typically, such a person believes that if he abides by the rules of cause and effect and works hard, he will be successful in life. Of course, he still realizes that Hashem possesses ultimate power and can intervene to overrule

to occur. Like a person writing with a pen, Hashem has complete control over nature and uses it like a tool. This results in a much greater appreciation of Hashem’s presence and providence in the world (hashgacha), as one recognizes that everything that happens in life comes directly from Hashem. Accordingly, nature has no independent power, and one’s experiences in life take on incredible spiritual relevance.

However, this person still views nature as an entity distinct from Hashem, merely used as a tool.

This begs the question: why does Hashem need a tool? Tools are only necessary when you can’t accomplish a task yourself. You only need a pen because your finger itself cannot write. So is Hashem limited, in that He requires a tool called nature?

C) The Constant Will of Hashem The third level, the highest level of belief, is one that requires a developed understanding of Hashem and His relationship with this world. One who attains this level understands that nature is simply an illusion, a mask for Hashem’s will. In fact, nature does not exist as an independent identity at all.

What we call nature is actually the actualization of Hashem’s will. Hashem is complete Oneness, and therefore nature isn’t separate from Hashem at all.

Rather, nature is just a term we use to identify the seemingly routine events of cause and effect that we witness each

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day. Just like thoughts originate in your mind, and come into fruition through action, Hashem constantly wills everything into existence and everything in this physical world manifests as a result. Thus, this world is really a reflection of a much higher reality.

This third level is the one presented by the Ramban in the same passage we mentioned above. He explains that the open miracles of Yetzias Mitzrayim revealed to the world that nature itself is really a hidden miracle. In other words, there is no fundamental difference between the astounding miracles and wonders that Hashem performed in Mitzrayim, whereby He uprooted the laws of nature and the extraordinary wonders Hashem performs every single day.

There is no template or natural system called nature. Rather, Hashem wills the same wonders into existence every second, to make it appear as if there is an independent system in place. We perceive and refer to these constant miracles as nature.

Recognizing the Miraculous Within the Natural In essence, the only difference between open miracles and nature is the frequency. The miracles of Yetzias Mitzrayim occurred only once in history, while the miracles of nature occur every second. Just like the boy from the opening story, whose momentary cessation revealed that what appeared to be his nature was actually his constant will, the same is true of nature itself.

Let us be inspired to see past the mask of nature, to find Hashem in every aspect of our lives, and to recognize the miraculous within the natural.

Shmuel Reichman is an inspirational speaker, writer, and coach who has lectured internationally at shuls, conferences, and Jewish communities on topics of Jewish thought and Jewish medical ethics. He is the founder and CEO of Self-Mastery Academy (ShmuelReichman.com), the transformative online course that is revolutionizing how we engage in self-development.

You can find more inspirational lectures, videos, and articles from Shmuel on his website, ShmuelReichman.com.

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Field of Vision

BY RABBI MOSHE WEINBERGER Adapted for print by Binyomin Wolf

What Tree Are You Going to Eat From?

In the sefer Pri Tzadik, Reb Tzadok HaKohein from Lublin, zy”a, has several teachings on Tu B’Shvat. While most people refer to Tu B’Shvat as the new year for trees, the truth is that the Mishnah calls it “the new year for the tree,” in the singular (Rosh HaShanah 2a). Which particular tree is hinted at here?

Reb Tzadok explains that whenever it says, “the tree,” it is a reference to “the tree from which Adam HaRishon ate” (Brachos 40a). Somehow, by eating fruit on Tu B’Shvat, we can repair the damage caused by Adam’s sin of eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

The idea underlying this teaching is the common theme behind many of the teachings of the tzaddikim on Tu B’Shvat. We are all faced with a choice: What tree are we going to eat from? The Tree of Life or the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil? By eating the fruits of Tu B’Shvat and having one or two good thoughts, we fix, on some level and in some way, an aspect of Adam HaRishon’s choice to eat from the forbidden tree.

The Tree’s Sustenance Many people believe that the tree’s primary

sustenance is from the ground. But the truth, as we know through penimius haTorah and science, is that the tree does not “eat” the earth and the moisture around it. Rather, most of its nourishment comes from the air that it “breathes” and from the sunlight. The water it draws from the ground is primarily for its circulation, carrying its life-force to every limb, branch, and leaf. We therefore see that the tree’s life-essence comes from above, not from below.

It is the same way for us, as we know from the pasuk, “Man is a tree of the field” (Devarim 20:19; see also Koheles Rabbah 8:9). Outwardly, it appears that our sustenance comes from below — from the food we eat, the water we drink, the air we breathe, and the jobs at which we work. This superficial impression is so powerful because we spend eight, nine, ten, or more hours per day deeply involved in earthly things to earn our livelihood. We even see this from the word “livelihood.”

This impression – that we draw our life-force from earthly activities – is the deceptive lie of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. This is why we think that our livelihood comes from below rather than above. In truth, these worldly activities are simply the circulatory system through which Hash-

em moves sustenance from one place to another.

They are not the source of vitality in and of themselves.

Those who eat from the Tree of Life understand that just like the tree’s nourishment originates from above – from things we cannot touch or see, the sunlight and air – our nourishment comes from above. Just like it is so easy to think that the earth, seeds, and water that we can touch and feel are the source of the tree’s life, so, too, we think the work we concretely do with our hands and our brains is what sustains our lives.

Tu B’Shvat reminds us that just as the tree’s life comes from forces we cannot see, our life-force comes from things we cannot see.

According to the seforim hakedoshim, the body has a top part, which includes the heart and mind.

And it has a bottom part, from the digestive system and below. The bottom part is involved with processing physical, concrete, tangible matter of one form or another. It is easy to see this.

But the top part of the body, which involves thoughts and emotions, is responsible for all of the ephemeral, abstract, and intangible aspects of life.

We know that these elements of the body are the most critical part for defining human life.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Those who eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil are deceived by the snake and believe that they draw their nourishment from the earth. But those who eat from the Tree of Life know they draw their nourishment from Heaven.

Even if such people spend ten hours a day on their commute and work, and only an hour collectively in shul between Shacharis, Minchah, and Maariv, they know that they draw their livelihood from Hashem through Torah, mitzvos, and tefillah, and that all the hours they spend at work are simply Hashem’s way of moving His sustenance to where it belongs.

Our job is to remember, when we eat fruit on Tu B’Shvat, the example of the tree and how it applies to us. We must remind ourselves that our sustenance is from Above, from Hashem, and not through our earthly efforts. We must, of course, do what would be necessary from a natural perspective. “The earth is cursed because of you… By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread” (Bereishis 3:17, 19). Tu B’Shvat calls us to remember that this is in fulfillment of an obligation — it is not our source of life, superficial appearances notwithstanding.

The work we do, however, is not merely the fulfillment of an obligation because of a duty to do so. As agents of Hashem in this world, all the work we do to improve the world and stave off chaos — through the thirty-nine categories of labor — fixes and rectifies the universe. But this is only true when we remember that the world’s Divine life-force

comes from above. Earthly life is not all there is.

The Real Tu B’Shvat Fruit One year on Tu B’Shvat, Reb Isaac’l Zidichover, zy”a, merited to have some fruit from Eretz Yisroel to eat and distribute to the chassidim. This was very hard to come by and relatively uncommon. There

Just as the tree’s life comes from forces we cannot see, our life-force comes from things we cannot see. was a large crowd pressing to enter the beis midrash, but there was not enough fruit for everyone.

When there was no fruit left, many people felt so disappointed that they did not receive any.

Reb Isaac’l said to the chassidim: We say every morning in davening, “These are the things which a person eats of their fruits in this world but their principal remains for him in the World to Come…” This is what we are doing here today. The fruits we ate are merely a physical analogy for the results of our mitzvos in this world. That paragraph

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concludes, “And the study of Torah is equal to them all.” If you want to really eat fruit on Tu B’Shvat, sit down now and learn. The primary way to experience the taste of “And His fruits are sweet to my palate” [Shir HaShirim 2:3] is to learn Torah and do mitzvos.

The true fruits of Tu B’Shvat are not those we see with our eyes or eat with our mouths. They are our mitzvos. They are (as the tefillah cited above states): “Honoring one’s father and mother, showing kindness to others, arising early to learn in the beis midrash in the morning and evening, welcoming guests, visiting the sick, taking care of an [impoverished] bride, escorting the dead, investing one’s self in davening, and making peace between a husband and wife.”

May we merit to always remember that our true source of life comes from above and not from all the work we do below. May we soon experience “You shall bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your heritage” (Shemos 15:17). To the extent that each of us works to plant ourselves in the world of His will, may He plant us permanently and soon in Eretz Yisroel again, together with the entire Jewish people with the arrival of the complete redemption, may it come soon.

This article was reprinted from the sefer, Field of Vision, Rav Moshe Weinberger on Tu B’Shvat, adapted for print by Binyomin Wolf.

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

The Power of Positivity

#WOMENSUPPORTINGWOMEN

BY REBBETZIN LISA SEPTIMUS

This

past summer, a social media challenge went viral. The challenge was for a woman to post a black and white picture of herself and tag a bunch of friends with an invitation to do the same using the hashtag #challengeaccepted. As the trend spread, most understood the challenge to be about promoting the idea of women supporting women. Some brought our attention to the issue of violence and femicide in Turkey, noting that the challenge had begun as a form of protest by Turkish women looking for reform.

As we near Purim and mark a year since our world turned upside down, I think about all the news and media I have devoured, the painful losses, and the beautiful family moments. I also think about women supporting women – not just the campaign or the hashtag, but the very real ways that friendship, community, and sisterhood strengthen women. I think of the many women who have been held together by those bonds this year as well as the many women who have suffered by not having those connections.

Female friendships have the potential to enable women to bring out the best in themselves, even those relationships where jealousy or competition exists. The Torah points to many of the ways that women together not only uplift one another but uphold or save entire communities or generations.

Our biblical matriarchs Rachel and Leah model this for us. Most parents work actively to avoid creating competition between siblings, so Lavan’s manipulating to have both of his daughters marry Yaakov fits with our larger picture of Lavan as a deeply flawed character. Rachel and Leah had every reason to resent one another and stand in each other’s ways. Yet the midrash tells us that the night before what was meant to be Rachel’s own wedding, she taught her sister Leah the secret signs she had prepared with Yaakov, so that Leah would not be embarrassed. Certainly, there was tension and jealousy; we know this from later in the story in Bereishit. However, the empathy and understanding of each other’s vulnerabilities were stronger than all the other

reasons they had to resent one another.

Their support of and negotiation with one another is what quite literally enabled the birth of Bnei Yisrael, each of our tribes, to be born.

Leah and Rachel enabled the foundation of our people, and during times of national crisis the Torah seems to point to the inner resolve of women as elevating and promoting the continuity of our people. The Gemara tells us, in Sota 11b, that it was “b’zechut nashim tzidkaniyot” – through the merit of the righteous women – that Israel came to be redeemed from Egypt.

We know about the heroic efforts of Yocheved, Miriam, the midwives, and Bitya (the daughter of Pharaoh) willing to defy Pharaoh and risk their lives.

But Chazal tell us that it was also the heroic efforts of all the women of that generation who refused to resign themselves to the hardships of slavery and fears of murderous threats of Pharoh.

The women sought out unconventional ways to beautify themselves and attract their husbands. The women were responsible not only for Jewish continuity by continuing to procreate, they were also responsible for Jewish continuity of spirit. The women were responsible for preserving an important piece of humanity that existed and that became the foundation for the future of the Jewish People.

The Torah understands that preserving life involves not just physical but also the psychological triumph.

There is a fascinating halacha regarding a woman in labor found in the Rambam’s Mishnah Torah Shabbat 2:11, “If she requires a light when

she cries out because of labor pains, a candle may be lit for her [on Shabbat].

[This leniency is granted] even if she is blind, because light has a calming influence even if she does not see.”

This halacha calls to mind the many halachic rulings that have been written during this pandemic with an eye toward the emotional health of people and the need for support.

This Shabbos we read in Parshat B’shalach about Miriam leading the Jewish women in songs of praise of Hashem with her tambourine. Miriam facilitates the women coming together at this moment, spiritually uplifted, and expressing uninhibited joy to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The women, in fact, the entire community, is able to be there for Miriam in return when they wait for her during her time afflicted with tzaraat and later when they mourn for her.

This past week, my mother-in-law, Chani Kranzler Septimus, passed away.

One of the many things that she was known for was her musical talents, her beautiful soprano voice, and the numerous instruments she played. She played bongo, the percussion instrument, like Miriam, in a Bais Yaakov of Baltimore girl band, the Melodettes.

They uplifted the spirits of others, particularly in old age homes where they often sang and played. Also like Miriam, when the tables turned and my mother-in-law was not well and stuck in the hospital and rehab without the possibility of in-person visitors her bandmates from 55 years ago sang with her over FaceTime and lifted her spirit and gave her strength, love, and hope.

When women support one another, individuals can feel encouraged and loved, as well as families and communities being strengthened. This was the motivation for creating the Jewish Women’s Leadership Council, JWLC, bringing together women across the spectrum of the observant Jewish community in the Five Towns to identify and address communal needs.

Modeling ourselves after the heroic women in Egypt, the council agreed that strengthening marriage and taking couples away from the shackles of everyday life was a great place to start.

Six-hundred people agreed and joined for JWLC’s inaugural event, which we called, “An Evening of Love and Laughter.”

The magnitude and scope of the effects Covid is having is too great to describe or even to understand. Thank G-d, due to many varied heroes, we have hope for a way out of this horrific pandemic. But the JWLC sees that we not only need a vaccine against the virus; we need antibodies to fight off disengagement and apathy, loneliness and negativity. We need to be brought together in a positive and supportive way and create the gateway to a new time for our community.

On Motzei Shabbos, February 13, JWLC will host its third event, “The Power of Positivity.” Each of the 18 participating shuls will host simultaneous workshops on finding positivity in an era of challenges. Our hope is to facilitate the women in each local community in connecting and supporting one another in new ways.

Like in generations before us, when women support one another the impact is far-reaching, extending to the entire Jewish community in powerful ways.

This article is the third in a series of articles that will be published in TJH in a lead-up to a community-wide initiative, “The Power of Positivity,” to be held on Motzei Shabbos, February 13 in 18 shuls across our community. Stay tuned for more information on this interactive workshop run by JWLC, the Jewish Women’s Leadership Council of the Five Towns, and sponsored by UJA Federation of New York.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Israel Today

Rav Amnon Part II

By Rafi Sackville

L

ast May, I wrote a story about Rav Amnon Bo-Aron and a few of his most interesting life stories. He’s since informed me he’s writing a book and wanted my thoughts about one of his adventures. Happy to oblige, we recently met. His first question to me was if I knew where Long Island was. Noticing the wry look on my face, I explained that I had lived there for over 12 years. This particular story dates back to 1993, when Rav Amnon first began working at the religious council in Ma’alot.

Some 19 years earlier, in May 1974, terrorists infiltrated the area from Lebanon and, after killing five people, took scores of students hostage in the Netiv Meir school close to where we live today. The carnage that followed has been well documented.

Twenty-two students from Tsefat were murdered.

The classroom became a shrine to the memory of the victims. For years, visitors came to pay their respects.

“Where blood is spilt, we build,” says Rav Amnon.

Two months after the bloodbath, The New York Times reported that Ma’alot’s 4,000 residents were still traumatized.

Today, almost 46 years have passed and the town is firmly established and constantly expanding with its population creeping towards 25,000.

Back in 1993, a chapter from NCSY arrived unannounced in Ma’alot wanting to visit the classroom. As it was in the middle of summer vacation, the school was closed.

They called the local council, who dispatched Rav Amnon to open the school. Rav Amnon got the group talking about how they, as Jews, felt threatened by terrorists. Then he turned his focus on ahavat chinam and the importance of the love of Torah.

His larger-than-life personality

had a lasting effect on many of the group. They told him that he was welcome to visit them when he came to America. At the time, Rav Amnon found that funny, as he had never traveled outside of Israel.

Exactly two months later, the local council asked him to travel to the U.S. to collect money for Torah institutions in the city. Not long thereafter, he found himself in Manhattan totally overwhelmed by the size of the city.

On the day of his arrival, he was wandering around New York City, looking for a kosher restaurant.

He found himself at the Har Tzion restaurant near the Empire State Building. The owner, an expatriate Israeli, took an immediate liking to Rav Amnon and asked him to stay with him and his parents in Brooklyn. He was emphatic in not wishing to be persuaded by Rav Amnon into becoming religious. Suffice to say, the young man eventually returned to Israel where, after years of learning, he now heads a yehiva in Beitar Eilit.

After two weeks in New York, Rav Amnon made contact with the NCSY chapter in Merrick. They invited him for Shabbat.

According to Rav Amnon, discovering the size of Manhattan couldn’t disabuse him of the notion that Long Island was as large as Ma’alot.

Parshat Tetzaveh fell out on January 11 that year. It was cold; much colder than the mild winters of Ma’alot. Rav Amnon’s first error was to leave the city on the subway, thinking it would take him to Merrick. By the time he discovered his mistake, he was forced to catch a cab.

He told the driver where he needed to get to, and they began talking.

With his limited English, he felt uncomfortable trying to explain to the driver that he was not prepared to travel on Shabbat.

It didn’t take the driver long to realize where his passenger was from.

He turned around to Rav Amnon and told him, “I’m from Ashdod.” He laughed aloud when Rav Amnon told him how large he thought the Island was.

There was heavy traffic leaving the city, and Shabbat was approaching as the cab slowly inched its way along Belt Parkway and onto the Southern State.

By the time the driver got to Merrick, Shabbat had begun, which was fine had they only been able to find the shul.

Rav Amnon was adamant he wouldn’t travel on Shabbat. He told the driver to stop. The driver asked him where he thought he was going to stay.

“Right here on this strip of grass,” he replied.

“This is America. It’s not safe,” pleaded the driver.

“I’ll take my chances,” replied Rav Amnon.

“Aren’t you scared?”

“I rid myself of fear by being connected to G-d,” and Rav Amnon began davening.

The driver called his station to tell them about “this madness” and to ask their advice.

Rav Amnon asked him how many homeless there were in New York. The driver didn’t know.

“Well, there’s one more homeless tonight,” remarked Rav Amnon as he continued davening.

“Get in the car!” ordered the driver.

“Think positive, and it will be okay.”

It was then that they saw a man walking towards them.

“Shabbat shalom. I’m looking for Long Island,” Rav Amnon said.

“You’re in Long Island,” the gentleman replied.

“Merrick. We’re in Merrick, right?”

“You’re in Merrick.”

“I’m looking for the Ohav Shalom synagogue.”

“Why, it’s on the other side of this garden,” smiled the man and continued walking to shul.

Rabbi Yirmiahu Wohlberg, the rabbi of Ohav Shalom, was fascinated by how Rav Amnon had made his way to the shul and he asked him to address the large kehillah. Rabbi Wohlberg introduced Rav Amnon by stating that the story he was about to tell was nothing short of miraculous.

Rav Amnon not only told his arrival story but also that of Ma’alot. By chance (although nothing, of course, is by chance!), it was his bar mitzvah parsha, and the following morning they asked him to read from the Torah.

The Shabbat was exciting and fruitful for Rav Amnon. He spent his remaining two weeks there and raised over $40,000.

To this day- Rav Amnon keeps in touch with the taxi driver as well as many of the then youngsters with whom he spent Shabbat.

As I left his office on the day we recently met, Rav Amnon made one last point.

“What is important about this story is that, despite Rabbi Wohlberg’s sentiments about my ‘miraculous arrival,’ we cannot rely on them. We have to choose a derech chaim, a path in life.

“What looks like a miracle is no more than the cause and effect of doing G-d’s work.”

Rafi Sackville, formerly of Cedarhurst, teaches in Ort Maalot in Western Galil.

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From Outcast to Ally The Real-World Effects of Israel’s Normalization Deals

BY SHAMMAI SISKIND

A

fter the passing of Chacham Ovadia Yosef, the great leader of Sephardic Jewry, a stream of articles and memoirs were written to eulogize and commemorate the revered sage.

A facet of the rabbi’s upbringing in 1930s Palestine that many writers highlighted was how involved young Ovadia was with his father’s business affairs, even as a small child. Economic conditions meant that young Ovadia was often needed to lend a hand.

One set of stories that I found particularly interesting told of little Ovadia’s numerous business trips with his father Yaakov – trips to his native

Baghdad. Yaakov, a book dealer by trade, would travel frequently to the family’s city of origin to sell and restock. They would ride from the Beit Yisrael neighborhood down Derech Chevron to the Jerusalem Train Station. From there, they would board the early morning bus and be in central Baghdad by late afternoon.

Anecdotes like these from the pre-state years highlight a bygone reality, a time when travel, commerce, and connectivity in general with neighboring nations was the norm for the population of Eretz Yisrael. That, of course, changed overnight with the formation of the State of Israel. In response to Israel declaring independence,

nearly all of the region’s governments declared war. Many even expelled their Jewish populations.

This drastic shift thrust the country into a state of affairs, indeed an entire mindsight, that would characterize it for seven decades: Fortress Israel.

Since its inception, Israel has seen itself as a small Middle East enclave, with its back to the Mediterranean and enemies on all sides. Looking past its borders was not an option. The only viable approach was to hunker down and protect the inside from the outside. To be sure, this attitude was far from unhinged. In its first thirty years of existence, Israel fought three existential wars and rebuffed individual incidents of incursion too

The Jewish Jewish Home Home || OCTOBER JANUARY 28, The 29, 2021 2015

numerous to count. Enemy countries too far to launch actual attacks on the Jewish state did the best they could by providing money and weapons.

So yes, Israel had ample reason to view itself as a bastion in a sea of hostility.

And yet, while it can be understood and even justified, Israel has had to pay a steep price for this self-image.

While Israel is located in the Middle East, it has hardly been part of it. Israelis today feel much closer to Paris, London, and even New York, than they do to, say, Amman, Jordan, a city that today they can technically visit and is located a mere 45 miles from Jerusalem. Baghdad, the commercial

hub frequented by Palestine’s Jews 80 years ago, is today viewed by the average Israeli the same way the average European or North American does – a faraway, scary place, populated mostly by people who would kill them if they could.

There have been many diplomatic deals in Israel’s short history. Some were monumental, some minor. Some successful, some less so. But the most recent round of deals, kicked off by the so-called Abraham Accords back in August, is unique.

While other deals have only marked the ending of war, these deals have explicitly sought to forge an active peace. It is difficult to overstate the

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significance of this development. Simply put, this trend of normalization with surrounding countries has the potential to radically transform the country’s interactions with its neighbors and add a completely new dimension to what it means to live in Israel. No doubt it will take time before the full repercussions come into play (especially in the era of the COVID crisis). But the effects of these accords are already being felt.

TWO POWERHOUSES MEET Let’s begin with the United Arab Emirates, the most significant treaty within the Abraham Accords.

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Interestingly, both Israel and the Emirates share some very similar interests, especially today, when the effects of a global health crisis are being felt equally by all.

Dubai, which has the most diversified economy in the region, saw its gross domestic product (GDP) contract 3.5% in the 1st quarter from the COVID fallout. This was a major letdown following two years of modest growth.

Israel is facing a very similar situation. After years of a steadily expanding economy and record low unemployment, the Israeli economy is facing a severe recession, with GDP falling by about six percent over 2020. Unemployment jumped from 3.4% in the beginning of the year to 23.5% by May. Normalization could have an eminently positive impact on recovery for both nations.

First and foremost is commerce.

Being at odds with most Middle Eastern nations for most of its history, Israel has always had a challenge securing cheap energy. Israelis would benefit greatly if they could purchase UAE oil.

Israeli technology would, in turn, have a booming market for many of its most cutting-edge industries.

From hi-tech to defense, Emirati customers are hungry for Israeli products. One recent news feature in Israeli media told of a local medical technology firm that had received multiple requests from the healthcare establishment in UAE over the past several years. The company had to bend over backwards to deliver their products and were rarely ever to meet all the demand from Emirati clients. That changed literally overnight with the signing of the normalizations deal. In all, Israeli officials have estimated exports to the UAE will quickly reach $300 to $500 million a year and eventually produce a multi-billion-dollar market.

Another important sector, with implications beyond mere economics, is tourism. In addition to creating more revenue for hospitality, attractions, and similar businesses, the direct interaction between Israelis and Emiratis is central to promoting and maintaining relations over time.

Israel for its part, wants to attract business for its tourism industry which constitutes six percent of its entire gross domestic product. Key attractions for Emirati travelers would include the Mediterranean metropolis of Tel Aviv and various Muslim holy sites throughout the country.

The Emirates have already begun preparations for making travel to Israel part of their tourist industry. Reports have recently come out that the country’s premier airline Emirates will launch daily nonstop flights between Dubai and Tel Aviv beginning February 15, 2021. The airline has allegedly already received slots from the Israel Airports Authority and has been at work since September producing its kosher catering facility in Dubai.

Israelis are also more than willing to visit UAE, as evidenced from the thousands that flew from Ben Gurion to Dubai over the past month and a half. But the full potential of Israeli tourism to UAE is only beginning to be tapped. Currently, most of the millions of Israelis who travel abroad each year head to Europe or the United States, but

of UAE investment have the potential to create demand for whole new industries. Several collaboration projects between UAE and Israel in fields including space exploration, civil aviation, water technology, and renewable energy are already in the works. This type of growth will, in turn, reorient the Israeli market to include a regional focus,

The fortress image has given way to that of the regional partner. that could now change. In Israel’s third largest city of Haifa, for instance, a city with a mixed Arab and Jewish population, travel agencies are gearing up for the demand. Advertisements can already be seen displaying deals for trips to Dubai. Testimonials from individual agencies confirm: the interest in these deals is from Jews and Arabs alike.

Of course, the other side of the commerce coin is investment. Israeli startups as a whole have seen persistent rises in fundraising over the past several years, a trend that has continued even through the tumultuous second half of 2020. But these companies have always had to look far abroad for their capital. Now, firms have a local source for seeking this vital investment.

UAE venture capital in Israel is predicted to reach $350 million a year.

It’s important to note that more investment doesn’t just mean more resources for existing companies. Like all of the new economic channels between Israel and the Emirates, the benefits

which means not only a more prosperous Israel but a more regionally integrated Israel.

MORE THAN A ONE-OFF Many have tried to undermine the so-called “wave of normalization” by pointing out that the other nations to sign on, other than UAE, are simply not that significant geopolitically and economically.

There are two responses to this.

First, while UAE is without a doubt the most important country to solidify normalization, the other nations that have joined thus far also come with important benefits for Israel.

Morocco, for instance, holds many of the same promises for Israel, albeit on a smaller scale. Following the normalization announcement, Adiv Baruch, chairman of the Israel Export and International Cooperation Institute (IEICI) that oversees exports from Israel, told media outlets that the potential for cooperation with Morocco and mutual trade is enormous. Agriculture and

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healthcare are by far the two areas Morocco is most interested in Israeli goods and services.

IEICI expects trade in these and other areas to quickly exceed $100 million and top $1 billion over the next three years.

Even Sudan, a relatively weak and as of now unstable country, has what to offer Israel. The

First, Israel spent decades making clear that it refused to be destroyed. The country demonstrated it was bold, daring, and here to stay.

The second step, no less daunting than the first, was to show the region that it was able and willing to be an asset to its neighbors. Step-bystep progress has been made in the effort for

Israel has gradually and successfully transformed its image from the persona non grata of the Middle East to an important and even welcomed ally. country has for years struggled to kick off its natural resource-linked industries like agriculture and mineral mining. Other sectors like civil aviation are also in desperate need of competent guidance and service. Khartoum is eager to secure Israel’s help for these and other sectors.

Second – and this is really the key – the fact that normalization has not consisted of one standalone deal, rather a regional trend, is what makes the phenomenon so important. The reason these deals are so momentous is not because of any particular economic or diplomatic win. They are significant because they present a paradigm shift.

Long in the making, Israel has gradually and successfully transformed its image from the persona non grata of the Middle East to an important and even welcomed ally. There were two, long and arduous stages in making this happen.

a long time. And they have now hit the tipping point. Interaction between Israel and the countries that surround it are no longer limited to backchannels and secret trade deals. The fortress image has given way to that of the regional partner.

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM Any diplomatic development (especially one in the Middle East) is never fully understood without considering the full range of incentives each party has. This, at the end of the day, is the only means to get a solid perspective on what the long term may hold.

While the mutually beneficial elements of trade, tourism, and easing of tensions were the components that made most headlines, there was certainly no small amount of kickbacks meted out

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in these deals.

The U.S. recognized Morocco’s annexation of Western Sahara, a territory that has been in dispute for the past forty years. Sudan was removed from Washington’s terror blacklist, ending the country’s 27-year-long designation as a supporter of violent extremism. The unfettering of the Sudanese economy from restrictions and opening avenues to credit was a much-needed relief for the country, long reeling from economic instability.

The Emirates were promised by the American administration access to advanced weapons systems previously off-limits to Middle Eastern nations such as the lauded F-35 stealth fighter – a point of the deal even many Israeli officials were uncomfortable with.

And, of course, looming in the background is the proverbial elephant in the room: the Iranian threat.

After years of building an image as a radical pariah state, developing nuclear technology, investing billions in militantism, and promoting its so-called “Shia Crescent” policy to unite the region’s Shiite Muslims into a pro-Tehran coalition, concern over the Ayatollahs has become the single biggest geopolitical factor in the Middle East today. Indeed, Bahrain, the second country to seal a deal with Israel after the Emirates, has been pretty open (relatively speaking) that countering Iranian encroachment was the main impetus for entering the Accords.

Does this mean the entire trend is merely an effort to solidify a bulwark against Iran? Is the Abraham Accords simply an aggrandized stunt based solely on the-enemy-of-my-enemy premise?

Those views are overly cynical. While the importance of the Iran factor cannot and should not be minimized, it would be a gross simplification to reduce the entire trend to that. The truth is, the commonality of interests between Israel and the rest of the region has been close for a long time, long before Iran posed the danger it does today. True, ideology does and will continue to play a strong role in the Middle East. Connection to tribe and faith are part of the very fabric of life in this area of the world. But at the same time – and not necessarily undermining traditional loyalties – a pragmatic trend has been on the rise. Shifts in political norms, the introduction of digital communications and similar technology, and demographics quickly becoming younger have all contributed to a rise in tolerance as well as a willingness to reconsider old models of doing things. Granted, these trends are making many government old guards nervous, although many have chosen to accept and try to ride the changing tides as opposed to fight them.

One of the biggest winners of this trend has been, and will continue to be, Israel. It is a country with energy, innovation, and real-world advantages for those reaching out in friendship.

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Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

I’m dating a guy who I really like and have seen things progress easily, which is not something that comes around often.

Something recently came up that’s starting to worry me, but I’m

not sure if it’s just cold feet or something to actually worry about.

On our last date, I opened the glove compartment to try and find a pen and noticed a huge pile of unpaid parking/red light tickets. This shocked me because Levi* is generally a responsible guy or at least comes across as one. Since I found the tickets, I have noticed he speeds through yellow lights and does go quite fast while driving on our dates, although I can’t remember him doing this early on in our relationship. I brought it up on our last date, and he laughed. He said that these government agencies look for ways to take your money and he is not buying into a corrupt system by paying for it.

Something about this does not sit right with me, and I found his response disturbing. Is my intuition correct on this one?

Chani* The Rebbetzin

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

Y

ou are right on the money!

There is a double red flag here.

One is his irresponsible attitude toward safety. That is very important for a partner with whom one expects to raise a family, travel, and live in a home. This shows a lack of maturity.

What deepens the problem is his conspiracy approach to government and an us-versus-them mentality. While this has become popular during the last few years and resulted in a substantial number of people in the U.S. disbelieving everything, common sense should rule when it comes to the reasons behind driving safety rules. If he has bought into this mentality (and it’s very popular among certain populations), you are in deep trouble.

If everything is perceived as fake and caused by the systems in place, there is no place for good judgment.

Lack of judgment and use of reason will impair one’s life in every decision, from work decisions to health decisions to personal life decisions.

It’s very good that you caught this and brought it up. When one sees something concerning during dating, one should address it directly but tactfully. This wise decision to discuss the matter has shown you the young man’s attitude in his own words. This attitude is doubly dangerous. Stay away.

The Shadchan Michelle Mond

T

his guy doesn’t just exhibit red flags; he owns the whole flag store!

Issue #1) Hiding the tickets Issue #2) Not paying the tickets

Issue #3) Speeding and disregarding safety Issue #4) Not listening to authority Issue #5) Laughing as a response to your concern Issue #6) Belittling your concern Issue #7) Paranoia about government agencies The best way to make sure your intuition is correct is using this simple test. Ask this guy you are dating if he has a rav or mentor whom he listens to and gets guidance from.

Based on your letter, I am 99% positive he does not follow authority or go to others for direction and advice. This alone is a reason to say goodbye to this fellow. One of the most important things you need to look for in a husband is someone you can trust. Someone who, when the going gets tough, will agree to look outwards for guidance. It does not seem like Levi has that capacity.

I recommend going with your intuition. Say goodbye and drive through this yellow light of a relationship, before it turns red.

The Zaidy Dr. Jeffrey Galler

I

have heard of singles who, while using the restroom in their date’s apartment, secretly check the medicine cabinet to inspect prescription bottles. You might be starting a new trend: checking glove compartments.

Actually, it is very wise for you to acquire as much information as possible about a prospective mate.

The question here is whether your date is merely rebellious or is actually reckless.

1. Rebelliousness You might wish to consider that young men often like to brag and show off. Perhaps his driving and

ticket-ignoring are simply his way of trying to impress you with his macho, fearless charisma. And, young men know that some young women seem to be attracted to “bad boys.”

After all, he didn’t throw out the accumulated parking tickets. If he’s stockpiling them in his glove compartment, it seems like he’s planning on eventually paying the collection in one fell swoop.

Also, perhaps there’s something positive and likeable about folks who refuse to robotically follow every arbitrary, illogical, rule, and regulation imposed upon us. Whether in studying Talmud, medicine, or science, a healthy mind will question every assertion and insist that every declaration be evidence-based.

Ask yourself what you would do in the following scenario: You are walking down the street, alone, on a beautiful, clear day. You come to a red light at a small intersection.

You can clearly see that there are no approaching cars, from any direction, for at least two miles. Do you carefully cross at the red light, or do you wait, alone, on the corner, for the two minutes it will take for the light to turn green?

2. Recklessness HOWEVER, the very, very real danger is that his behavior transcends harmless rebelliousness and is actually reckless. A reckless husband is a danger, not only physically but also financially.

Clearly, someone who drives recklessly is indicative of a person who poses a grave danger to his wife and children. Callously exposing oneself and loved ones to physical harm is not cool.

Further, such a person poses a financial danger to his family. Will he fail to pay utility, tax, credit card, and mortgage bills in a timely fashion? Will he be irresponsible with the family finances?

Such a person is, very predictably, an extremely poor candidate for a happy, healthy marriage.

Intuition is a gift.

3. What to do?

You need to have some very frank conversations with the young man. You need to ask him: *It’s easy to understand why you resent paying those tickets, but aren’t you worried that you risk accumulating added penalties and interest, you risk damaging your credit score, and you risk having your car towed away? *Have you ever considered how speeding and ignoring traffic lights can cause accidents and harm innocent people? *Do you see anything wrong with cheating on taxes, or is the IRS simply another corrupt government agency looking to take your money?

It will be interesting to see how he responds. Your frankness might jolt him with a dose of reality and help him realize that his behavior has been immature. Or, he might disparage your concerns and reveal himself to be very bad marriage material.

Either way, please take your time with this relationship until you definitively discover the young man’s true character.

The Single Rivka Weinberg

C

hani, I really hear your concerns around Levi’s response and appreciate that you are not simply allowing his actions to slide under the rug. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you to have learned this information about him after finally finding a guy whom you

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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like and feel things are progressing easily with. I applaud your ability to pay attention to your intuition in a healthy and appropriate manner.

You mention that Levi is generally a responsible guy, or at least comes across as one. His ability to appear this way seems to be slowly drifting away as you spend more time with him and notice his mannerisms in a more detailed light.

Remember, the only thing you can’t fake is authenticity. So, although it looked like Levi was responsible, his true colors are beginning to shine, allowing you to see a different side of him.

Before touching upon Levi’s verbal response, it’s important to point out some other factors playing a role here. It’s not uncommon

for young men to drive in a slightly more reckless manner from time to time. However, if Levi believed you were truly precious cargo, he would be more cautious and aware of his speed in your presence. I would be interested to hear what it was like for you when Levi laughed in response to your concern. Does your relationship usually consist of open and honest conversation or was this a normal reaction on his part?

I have heard some interesting people say some crazy things, however, Levi’s idea about government agencies looking for ways to take your money is a new one. Even better is him not buying into it by paying for it. The arrogance and ignorance shining through those statements is strong. Chani, are

you interested in dating someone who sounds to be beyond haughty, foolish, and absurd? Aside from the technical consequences, such as getting arrested or having a boot put on the car, it sounds like there are serious mental and emotional issues Levi needs to work through.

Although I am a strong advocate of thought-provoking questions leading someone to come to his or her own conclusions, I can’t even begin to unpack what Levi was trying to communicate because of how irrational and illogical his explanation of the tickets are. I encourage you to follow your intuition and look at the circumstance at face value. Do you really want to be dating Levi?

Do you trust him to support you mentally, emotionally, and finan-

Pulling It All Together

it? Whatever it is you felt is The Navidaters your truth. So of ten, women Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists (and in my experience, more so than men) try to un-feel the way a man is making her feel. We do this are wonear Chani, for varying reasons: fear dering if the danger is I’m so glad you wrote to our of losing the person, fear of not perceived or real, to which panel! Isn’t intuition amazing? getting married, fear of expecting very often I must ethically Personally, the older I get and the too much, or fear of being thought respond... I do not know. But more twists and turns my own life of as “difficult” or “picky.” you do, or you will, with time and has taken, the more I am learning to I can only suggest that if this conversation. trust my own intuition. is weighing on you, you bring it up I can tell you with confidence that Full disclosure: since I have been again with Levi and assess his reif you felt unheard or if your conon my own intuition journey, beginsponse. If he is more caring and can cern went unnoticed or was laughed ning to trust it and see the fruits of acknowledge your concerns, then at, you must ask yourself how that that labor pay off, the more I can there is a path forward. If he canfelt. Did you like it? Did you dislike encourage others to do the same. not do that, where does one go from it? Did you find Levi funny? Some Intuition is a gift. It is wired into there? I’m not sure. In a healthy women might. Did you find Levi to your DNA to safeguard you from relationship, your concerns should be dismissive? Some women might. perceived or real danger. I often be top priority to your partner. You Did you feel a sense of safety or a respond to people in this very colshould be listened to and cared for. lack of safety when you spoke about umn or in my very office when they

D

This guy doesn’t just exhibit red flags; he owns the whole flag store!

cially? Do you entrust him to be the father of your children?

It appears to me that through L ev i’s actions and response Hakadosh Baruch Hu is giving you the greatest gift we all strive to receive: clarity.

Respected.

There are some men who have a need for speed. Yes, they like the thrill of it. And sometimes, they will have a woman in the car who is white-knuckling the door handle begging him to slow down. And he will say, “Come on! Stop overreacting! I’m just having fun.” Or, “You’re too nervous! Relax!” That kind of behavior is unacceptable and often typical of other personality issues – stubbornness, self-entitlement, overall difficult personality, and twisting reality to make you feel like the difficult one. I’m curious if Levi would put you in such a situation, based on his history with speeding tickets.

I think it’s time to talk with him about this...again. And as always, to you and all our readers: go with your gut! Trust and believe.

Sincerely, Jennifer

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. She also teaches a psychology course at Touro College. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516-224-7779, ext. 2. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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Dr. Deb

Kool Aid

By Deb Hirschhorn, Ph.D.

T

here’s a new slur going around.

Whenever one person wants to be much smarter than another, he says, “Oh, you drank the Kool Aid.” And this must be delivered with a smirk.

(For those born more recently, this remark refers to the Kool Aid drink that was, at one time, laced with drugs or alcohol.)

Well, that’s how we got here.

We got to this awful place because that’s what we’ve been doing the past number of years in the political arena and decades in our own homes. Being smarter than the ones we love and care about. With a smirk.

So, of course, the latest effort at being really smarter has been to wait for a lull in conversation and then retort back with, “So, you’ve been drinking the Kool Aid!” Why does this remind me of second graders? (No offense to those second graders able to read this.)

We are never, ever going to agree on everything. In fact, the spice of marriage is precisely because we don’t agree. We would be bored to tears living with a clone of ourselves.

But we also don’t know how to navigate the differences. And the big mistake we make is being sure, in our hearts, that we are right and our spouse is wrong.

Ha! Only the One Above knows which is which.

No matter how convinced we are.

But you know what? It’s perfectly OK to believe you’re right. We need some kind of foundation for our beliefs.

A firm foundation is not a bad thing.

But what do we do when our partner feels the opposite of us?

Notice, I said “feels.” It’s all emotion. We aren’t upset at all when it’s pure science. It’s only when we have differences interpreting the facts that

we get all hot under the collar.

Notice that?

So what is the right thing to do when what you want most – and is slipping through your fingers fast – is shalom bayis?

Step one is to ask yourself which you want more: to be right or the shalom bayis. If the answer is the latter, then step two is to breathe. Just breathe. Notice your breath and focus on it. Don’t get riled up about how right you are or how wrong they are. Just breathe.

Step three is to turn your attention to something positive: a sweet memory, a compliment you got, a funny thing

try to convince them.

It’s the same rule that we started with: You can’t argue, discuss, present facts, or anything else to someone whose head – and emotions – are in another place. You just can’t. They won’t hear it. Their defenses shoot up, and suddenly they’re walking around with cement walls around them. Invisible walls, maybe, but hard as cement nevertheless.

What do you do?

You assess what you can do. Can

When you feel good about yourself, it’s a lot easier to feel good about everyone else.

that happened, or a joke you heard.

Or maybe just a nice day. We complain here in New York about the weather, but having lived for over 30 years in Florida, I can assure you our summers are milder. And don’t get me started on how wonderful it is to be here compared to Chicago in the winter when it’s below zero out. (The year my Israeli son got engaged in our sukkah, it was a bit too hot out since we were still in Florida, but my Chicago machatanim-to-be found out their sukkah crashed due to too much snow!)

Now, all this good advice evaporates when the thing your partner is so convinced is right turns out to be really wrong – like abuse, addictions, laziness, lying, cheating, and the like.

Then what?

I will tell you what not to do: Don’t

you get them to a therapist? To the Rabbi? Can you do an intervention? If you make a threat will that fall on deaf ears or, worse, escalate? Or will it bring them to their senses?

If none of those work, the answer has to be darchei shalom.

The only path you can pursue is shalom. It must begin inside yourself.

You must be at peace with who you are, the meaning of your life, and what you can do with it.

That, alone, is a tall order. But it is the only option. Putting pressure on others will never boost your insides.

Inner peace must come from your own work on yourself.

Isn’t that a drag?

You did not want to hear this. You wanted to hear cheers and rah-rah for new ways to make the other person

wrong.

Yeah, I know. That way you don’t have to face yourself.

But, difficult as it is, facing yourself is not only the only way, but it turns out to be the most enjoyable. What will it be like for you when you no longer beat yourself – or anyone else – up? When, instead, you love, care, cherish, and value yourself?

I can tell you one thing: That one step is the best step toward making your marriage better. Because when your inner cup is full, you can drench your partner with good thoughts. And you feel good about it. When you feel good about yourself, it’s a lot easier to feel good about everyone else.

But how on Earth can you feel good about a partner who is doing the wrong thing? Not just wrong in my eyes, but really wrong?

The answer is compassion. Hashem created the world with rachamim and that has got to be our template, too. If our spouse is sorely mistaken, then we need to have compassion for them.

Look what they had to suffer to get to the horrible place they’re in!

That said, we also can never be complacent.

It could be deadly to feel so much rachamim that we don’t watch out for our mental or emotional safety. That’s why the steps I listed above go in the order they do: You must start with yourself. Only then can you move on to rachamim and never give up creating the balance between them.

Dr. Deb Hirschhorn is a Marriage and Family Therapist. If you want help with your marriage, begin by signing up to watch her Masterclass at https://drdeb. com/myw-masterclass.

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Health & F tness

Spilling the Tea on Health Benefits

By Aliza Beer MS, RD, CDN

P

eople have been drinking tea for thousands of years, and it is revered as a cure-all in many Asian countries. Numerous studies have shown that tea may boost the immune system, fight off inflammation, help control diabetes, encourage weight loss, lower cholesterol, and help prevent cancer and heart disease. While some brews provide more health benefits than others, there’s plenty of evidence that regularly drinking tea can have a lasting impact on your health and wellness. Most registered dietitians agree that any tea is a good tea, and there is no downside to drinking it.

There are two main categories of tea: true tea and herbal tea. True teas are made using the leaves of the tea plant known as Camillia Sinensis. These teas include green tea, white tea, oolong tea, pu-erh tea, and black tea. While these teas are made using the same leaves of the plant, the difference in color and taste arises from the production process. Green tea and white tea undergo the least amount of processing and are not oxidized. As a result, these teas retain their natural green color and are considered to be among the healthiest teas. The caffeine content of true teas varies between the different types and on how they were produced.

Herbal teas are made by infusing fruits, roots, herbs, leaves, and stems of a variety of plants. Some of the most popular herbal teas include ginger tea, peppermint tea, and chamomile tea. Herbal teas do not contain any caffeine.

Let’s discuss some important health benefits found in the most popular teas.

• Protects Heart Health: Recent research shows that tea drinking may significantly lower the risk of serious heart disease including heart attack and blood clots. Tea contains anti-inflammatory properties that help to soothe tissue in arteries. This helps to minimize the risk of inflammation that can restrict blood circulation and cause clotting. In fact, those anti-inflammatory properties can be used in other ways as well. Black tea can be steamed and cooled and then pressed on minor cuts, scrapes, and bruises to relieve pain and reduce swelling. A black tea bath can also ease inflammation caused by skin rashes and conditions such as poison ivy.

• Boosts Energy: True teas contain caffeine, with black tea containing the most. Just for reference, one 8-ounce cup of coffee contains about 95 mg of caffeine, while one 8-ounce cup of black tea contains 48 mg, and green tea 29 mg. The low caffeine content in tea makes tea a good choice for people who are looking to cut back on their caffeine intake.

Green tea and oolong tea also contain an amino acid known as L-theanine. This amino acid slows the absorption of caffeine. As a result, the energy boost from these teas is longer lasting and more steady than a cup of coffee. You’ll get the increased focus and energy without the jittery side effects or the crash when the caffeine wears off. L-theanine also increases alpha waves in the brain, helping to

increase focus while at the same time offering calming and relaxing effects.

• May Aid Weight Loss: Green tea in particular may help accelerate weight loss. Green tea contains amino acids that signal the body to burn stored fat. Tea will also help keep you hydrated and may satisfy a sweet tooth.

Tea is a calorie-free drink, so if you replace sugary sodas and juices with tea, you will cut calories and reach your fitness goals sooner.

• Supports Mental Health: Regular tea consumption has been linked to lower risk of neurological disease and decreased stress levels.

Scientist have found that the amino acid L-theanine may help prevent cognitive diseases such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s diseases. Tea offers natural calming effects that can reduce stress and help you unwind at the end of the day.

Tea contains antioxidants that work to prevent oxidative stress, which can damage healthy cells.

Oxidative stress has been linked to dementia and depression. Antioxidants also help cleanse the body of toxins that cause mental health problems. Tea drinkers have been shown to have lower stress levels and improved overall health with regular consumption.

• Aids Digestion: Tea helps streamline digestion and can treat a host of issues ranging from nausea and upset stomach to diarrhea and constipation. Ginger tea is an herbal tea that has long been used in China and India to treat an upset stomach.

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The ingredients gingerol and shogaol help to sooth the stomach lining to prevent vomiting. Peppermint tea also helps soothe an upset stomach because it contains high levels of antioxidants and menthol. Tea also contains tannins, which have been shown to reduce intestinal inflammation. This can help soothe stomach cramps and treat irritable bowel syndrome.

• May Regulate Blood Sugar: Black tea has been shown to reduce blood sugar levels after eating a meal. The effects were demonstrated for up to 2 hours after meal consumption. Researchers attribute these health benefits to the polyphenols in tea. These polyphenols have anti-inflammatory and antioxidant powers. Green tea, because it is not oxidized, contains the highest concentration of polyphenols from all the teas.

When researchers followed groups of people for long periods, they found that tea drinkers are less

likely over time to develop diabetes, compared with people who drink less tea.

• Cancer Connection: Research has found that green tea has a possible impact on liver, breast, prostate, and colorectal cancers.

idants than green tea. It has been suggested that one cup of matcha is equivalent to 10 cups of regular green tea!

While the majority of teas are beneficial for your health, there are some that should be avoided. Teas la-

As a result, the energy boost from these teas is longer lasting and more steady than a cup of coffee.

In recent years, matcha, a form of green tea, has become very popular.

Matcha is a very fine, high quality green tea powder made from the entire leaves of tea bushes grown in the shade. Since it is the only form of tea in which the leaves are ingested, matcha contains even more antiox-

beled as “detox teas” for fad diets are usually laced with laxatives and can be harmful to your health. Fancy tea lattes from chain stores usually contain a healthy tea base but are loaded with sugar.

Some herbal teas may potentially trigger allergies. Many herbal

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teas contain different types of fruits, herbs, spices, and flowers that some people are allergic to. If you have allergies, always read the ingredients on the package before you consume a new herbal tea.

The benefits of drinking tea go far beyond simply feeling better when you are sick. Drinking tea can help protect brain health, improve heart health, and may even help prevent certain types of cancer. Explore your tea options and experiment with different flavors. The potential health benefits of tea are substantial, delicious, and easily obtainable.

Go grab a mug and drink to your health!

Aliza Beer is a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutrition. She has a private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. Patients’ success has been featured on the Dr. Oz show. Aliza can be reached at alizabeer@gmail.com, and you can follow her on Instagram at @alizabeer

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Parenting Pearls

Joyous Parenting Moments

By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

T

u B’Shvat is one of those days on the calendar that gets passed over and sometimes leaves us a little confused. Our explanation of “it’s the trees’ birthday” can sometimes cause more confusion to a child than just saying that we’re having a “fruit party.” I did have an interesting discussion today with my five-year-old about why trees need a birthday but I don’t think you need this article to help you with that.

Personally, I focused with him on the need for birthdays so we know when to eat the fruits of the tree, and he was intrigued by the idea.

Before getting to the main topic of this article, I urge you to look more into this underappreciated yom tov, understand the ideas a bit further, and choose one that will appeal to your children to share with them. I know the schools will be covering this, but it’s still a springboard for a beautiful discussion with your child.

You should also enjoy the nachas that comes with talking to your children about these types of ideas. Some possible themes are Rosh Hashana for trees (relevant to laws such as calculating maasros and orlah), the minhag to daven for a beautiful esrog, the seven species Israel is known for, and an appreciation for Eretz Yisroel.

An excellent children’s resource on Tu B’Shvat is Lag Ba’omer and Tu Bishvat with Bina, Benny and Chaggai Hayonah by Yaffa Ganz, published by Artscroll. The Book of Our Heritage by Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov is a wonderful resource for parents looking for ideas and a greater appreciation of the day.

In our homeschool, I try to prepare an assortment of fruits, grain items (usually cookie or cake type items) and a variety of grape juices to share with the children in a sit-down family “meal.” In previous years, we invited some friends to make it a more festive atmosphere.

is happy and content won’t feel the same need to go elsewhere. An outsider sees what the frum child doesn’t have but has no idea what that child does get. It’s important that at least our children see what they have – and see how beautiful it is.

Creating memories

You could ask why I put the time into this but I feel this goes beyond Tu B’Shvat, beyond the trees and even beyond flavored grape juice (if you can imagine that). I try to look at yomim tovim as not just a single event or time to commemorate but also as an opportunity to share some of the joy and beauty that is Torah and Judaism. There is so much that can overwhelm us when preparing for special occasions that we can lose sight of making it enjoyable. Pesach is celebrating the birth of our nation, when Hashem did open miracles for us, yet we often are distracted by all the work. Yom Kippur is a time to reevaluate ourselves and start fresh, yet we are often stressed by the fast and long prayers. Even during the most hectic yom tov, I hope to try to make it feel festive, and I hope I can, in some small way, pass on some of the beauty and happiness of being Jewish.

Tu B’Shvat is not stressful, it doesn’t require much advanced planning, and you don’t even need to buy a new outfit for each child. It’s the perfect day to spend time with your child, share something, and just enjoy.

Why? You can ask why I put a stress on creating this happiness on minor (and major) yomim tovim. We are a minority in this world and certainly in this country. Our children, even those who are sheltered, are inundated with outside influences. How many of us can say our kids didn’t notice anything other than Chanukah this past December? With so much from the outside attracting our kids’ attention, I feel it’s even more important that our children see what they already have as wonderful, amazing, and a source of joy.

On more than a few occasions, I’ve had gentiles ask me how my kids can handle not having the holidays celebrated by the dominant culture.

It’s unfathomable to them that a child could survive not trick-or-treating.

It’s a fair question, but it’s asked without the awareness that children in our community have so much already that even door-to-door candy doesn’t pull them. It’s my humble opinion that when children are secure in their own culture, other ideas won’t have the same appeal.

There are no guarantees in life, but logic dictates that a child who

Sometimes it’s the unexpected moments that make an impact on you. A few years ago, probably around Chanukah time, my husband asked me what Chanukah was like for me as a child. I gave a simple, barely thoughtout answer, and it was only a few minutes later that it really sunk in.

My husband was born and raised in the former Soviet Union, and he didn’t come to America until he was an adult. As most of you probably know, it was not only forbidden and dangerous but life-threatening to keep Jewish practices in the USSR. So much that we take for granted he never had, and he never had Chanukah as a child. Initially, I had not appreciated that he was asking me to share with him something I took for granted but he never experienced. As it dawned on me what he was asking, it also gave me the wakeup call that I was creating those cherished childhood memories for my children. This unexpected kitchen encounter gave me a new appreciation for what my role could be.

I don’t think we often appreciate how much of an impact we have on our children when creating their childhood memories. Some of the most basic things we do can have a tremendous impact on their young, impressionable minds. Now that my oldest kids are teens, it often surprises me when they tell me what made the greatest impression upon them and gave them the greatest excitement when they were younger.

It’s easy to underestimate the impact a simple act can do for a child. I

still remember one of the first years that I made a Har Sinai cake with the kids. I thought I was simply doing a fun project with them. It made such an impression on my preschooler that all year he lived through the events at Har Sinai. Anything remotely resembling a mountain became Har Sinai.

I still remember how months later he was raking leaves and telling me how he was creating Har Sinai.

Take the time to recognize that you have the incredible opportunity to create amazing Jewish memories for your child. Adding some fun to your celebrations can go a long way.

Create simple, new traditions that will bring your children excitement thinking about them. Even just going for pizza the day before bedikas chametz each year can become something a child will look forward to year after year. Making a big deal over the exotic Tu B’Shvat fruits or family mishloach manos packing can become treasured memories if done year after year.

What about other times?

Shabbos, Chanukah, Purim, Pesach, Shavuos and Yomim Noraim can all become days that create those deep feelings that draw a child in and keep them close. I chose to focus on Tu B’Shvat because it’s the easiest to not get distracted by and because it’s

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big event. Sadly, we, as adults, are often so focused on the many important preparations that we don’t get a chance to really enjoy the day ourselves. How many of us show up to the seder already prepared to finish due to exhaustion? How many of us have spent so much time preparing

Sometimes it’s the unexpected moments that make an impact on you.

almost here. Yes, every day I mentioned above should be a source of excitement and joy in being a Jewish child and adult. As parents, we should try to keep the happiness and joy in those days. We should try to make a concerted effort to not detract from our child’s enthusiasm with our stress or frustration in preparing for the

mishloach manos that by the time Purim arrives we’re too drained to give them out? I’m not laying blame on anyone here nor am I saying I’m guilt-free. I just want to bring out this point (for myself, as well) as a gentle reminder to allow ourselves to enjoy these days and share that feeling with our children.

Truly, anything we do can and should become a source of excitement for our families. Our days are filled with following Jewish law and communal/family customs. Bentching can be sung with excitement, while tzitzis can be kissed with joy. We get so used to something that we no longer appreciate it. By looking at something from our child’s perspective, we have the chance to make everything feel new and fresh. In some ways, we get to be kids.

Tu B’Shvat can be the springboard for joy in all areas of our life. Bring some fun and enjoyment into the day.

Your children will thrive on the excitement, and you may find you look forward to these special days even more than ever before.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.

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jewish women of wisdom

Home

By Miriam Liebermann

I

would watch the sun set in the evenings…either through the windows of our home or whilst sitting on a bench in my beloved Riverside Park. Now, I rise at my usual early hour of the morn and watch the sun rise from my favorite perch in our new home in Lawrence. Equally beautiful. Actually, more than beautiful – appropriate.

The sun rise heralds the start of a brand-new day, or perhaps even a brand-new life.

Today, as of this writing, it is exactly nine weeks since our move.

It’s been a busy and productive time.

Baruch Hashem, by now, we are comfortably settled in. Our home is cozy and, for now, quite perfect for our needs.

Last week, Esther and Faigie came to visit, dear friends who are both involved professionally in home design and are always on the cusp of the latest in home décor.

Reviewing my visit with them that evening with my dear husband, he inquired, “So how do Esther and Faigie like our new home?”

I shared with him Faigie’s sin-

gular comment referring to our current home décor. “Miriam, your next home, Esther and I will help you decorate!”

My husband and I both laughed.

We really do enjoy our current home. Some of us need to go upscale, craving the latest and the best. And others are content with cozy and comfy. I belong to the second category. Of course, I appreciate beautiful, elegant settings, but that’s not the priority for me.

Years ago, one of my favorite writers discussed how her home was decorated with various items procured through the yearly mishloach manos gifts she and her husband would receive from community members. All those trays, boxes, and baskets were put to good use in adorning her home. I laughed when I read her piece because I get it!

I love having and using items that were gifted to me by dear family and friends, thus having sentimental value. I walk around our new home and take note of the décor.

Come walk with me…

Over the beds in the main bed-

room hangs a series of watercolors painted by my dear mother-in-law, a”h, who was quite an artist. Her artistic talent was definitely passed onto the next generation and still brings me pleasure today. In the corner sits a most comfy armchair, still perfectly sturdy, even after over four decades of use. I remember buying those chairs with my husband from Ethan Allen when we were decorating our very first home. This beloved chair has since been reupholstered several times and probably could do with a new upholstery job one of these days.

We’ll get there!

There, in the dining room, sits the credenza that graced my parents’ home for many years. In our previous home, this credenza was barely visible, hidden by the large dining room table. Now, I see it in all its glory. Displayed on the walls are my own tapestries. Using vivid colors, presenting beautiful scenes from our tradition, they bring me incredible joy. A chuppah scene – the simcha is apparent. A glorious birchas habayis – may the bless-

ings be fulfilled onto eternity. My grandmother’s handcrafted matzah cover, created in prewar Poland.. the challah cover my parents used when they were first married… Enlarged photos of pivotal moments of a family bris, bar mitzvah and wedding.

Collages of monumental events and beloved family members.

While creating a brand-new nest, my own personal space, I still need the familiar to keep me anchored, to evoke beautiful memories. I’ve always maintained that I live a multi-dimensional life. I’m connected to my past, I’m eagerly anticipating the future, whilst simultaneously I’m doing my utmost to live a meaningful life today. This transition would be much too stark and too difficult if I would leave this all behind.

I’m not the only one feathering my nest right now. These past months, due to corona, many have been home day after day, hour after hour. And many are filling their time in a very constructive fashion by going through their closets, perhaps downsizing a bit, puttering

around their homes, enhancing the décor. Any tips for me out there?

I’m certainly in good company!

Our new home is blessed with many windows. From my favorite corner on the living room couch I can see out three directions. I see the early morning sunrises…the trees and bushes with their flaming red leaves attesting to the change of season. I take note of the bluebirds and red jay that visit every morning.

Orchid plants that were gifted to us upon our arrival eight weeks ago sit upon assorted tables. These home-warming gifts helped welcome us to our new community.

Our large, marble, circular coffee table belonged years ago to our dear neighbor Barbara. I had been close to Barbara’s family. As a young girl, I babysat for her daughters. In later years, Barbara would regularly join our leil Shabbos seudah. Barbara would sit at our table, reminiscing about her own table when she had been a child and the traditions that

she had sadly dropped during the intervening years. Most unfortunately, Barbara began to suffer early onset Alzheimer’s. She relocated to be near her children. As they emptied out her well-appointed apartment,

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need the latest in home décor, ala though I do appreciate your offer.

Warm and cozy will do it for us.

This interchange reminded me of an earlier one, a week before our move, when Eva asked me, “So, Mir-

I love having and using items that were gifted to me by dear family and friends, thus having sentimental value.

they offered me whatever I would like. And so I have this fabulous coffee table, along with various wool afghans that keep me warm as I sit and read during those early mornings, warming my heart and soul!

So thank you Faigie for your offer, thanks but no thanks. I don’t

iam, will you change the way you dress when you move to Lawrence?”

I did a double-take at this question.

Of course not! I’m the same person wherever I live. Whether regarding my home décor or my personal attire, that’s me! I’m not changing.

Eva’s question reminded me of

a scene from my dating days. This particular young man had referred to women as “clothes horses,” indicating that a woman’s primary role is to wear her clothes well, presenting a certain image to society. I was personally offended by this term. I knew this young man was not for me! Next!

G-d created each of us differently. There’s room for all types in this world. Doesn’t that make life much more interesting? I’ve always been a bit of a nonconformist. I believe that G-d gifted me with more courage than others have. I’ve always done my own thing. And I hope to continue to do so.

My very wise mother, a”h, would say, “To thine own self be true.”

Thank you, dear mother. I hear you loud and clear!

Join the conversation and email list of JWOW! by writing to hello @jewishwomenofwisdom.org.

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Diary of the Fruit Lady

BY CHAIA FRISHMAN June 10, 2004

Just got off the phone with my friend Etti Siegel. We were talking about ordering refreshments for the camp staff meeting on Sunday, and she suggested that instead of ordering fruit from a local store, to ask my husband to make a platter and the camp would pay him. I’m so excited!!!! And nervous. I mean, I know Eliahu can make a simple platter. He did the entire fruit display for our vort when he worked for the Katzes (and came late to the vort because he worked to the last minute, but we won’t talk about that, perfectionism. Feh.) Eliahu and I made a calculation of the costs and time involved in making a platter and charging a fair price.

Here’s hoping!

July 17, 2004

Wow. When all camp division heads heard where Etti got the platter, they started ordering fruit platters whenever they had a meeting. Timewise, it works for us. Eliahu is off from his regular job. The boys in the yeshiva he cooks for are on ben hazmanim.

We need to have more faith and buy enough fruit for a few platters at a time.

August 31, 2004

PHOTO CREDIT: NAFTOLI GOLDGRAB PHOTOGRAPHY

With camp ending and yeshiva in full swing, Fridays have been a bit nutty. Luckily, Shabbos starts later still…

Word has gotten out about our new side gig. This week we had TEN platters. I hope Eliahu can juggle making the platters and finishing up his cooking for the yeshiva stuff…

I know he can. He used to manage parties of

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hundreds of people and prepare food in lunch programs for almost a thousand kids. His organizational skills are key in the summer job in camp where he runs the state food program.

I’m proud of my part in the biz: answering the phone and driving the platter to its destination. Utilizing my real talents for the good of our community. Ha!

December 28, 2004

I don’t know how people have side businesses. Waaaay too many things to manage at once... Is crying a reasonable response?

April 4, 2005

“You really should give your business a name. It’s official. You have so many platters ordered each week now.” Etti was right once again. She was right.

But I was stumped. I dreamed we would have a clever name, like Fruitique, a combo of Fruit and Boutique (maybe people would think we sell clothing made out of banana peels…). Or The Fruit Guys (but that was already taken. Thank you google search).

Etti suggested Fruit Platters and More. I asked her what the “more” was.

She brushed it off, reminding me that we also sell vegetable platters. Good point. The name would say exactly what my business sold. I ran to the printer in Cedarhurst and had 200 business cards printed with that name and our phone number. I splurged and got green foil lettering on linen-colored cardstock. Check me out.

September 18, 2005

What a crazy summer it’s been. Eliahu knew since May that he wouldn’t be continuing at his job and the stress of that uncertainty paled in comparison to being mugged and being seriously injured. Now, he’s not only recovering but wondering what he will do for employment when he gets back on his feet.

We are so blessed with our community. They are friends who are like family!

Rabbi Yaakov Bender, the Rosh HaYeshiva in Yeshiva Darchei Torah where I work, made sure we were supported until we would get back on our feet after our shocking summer. But we don’t want to take advantage of the kindness gifted us. So, while Eliahu is on the mend, we are brainstorming what to do the day he can work again.

A close friend, and quasi-mentor, suggested we take the business to the next level. Till now, Fruit Platters and More was a nice thing we did to make some extra cash on the side. We never considered it a REAL business. But, I mean, business has picked up and we even started selling containers and bowls of fruits and vegetables. Besides, it’s hard to go to job interviews while you’re recuperating. Here goes nothing….

June 3, 2006

Sending out an SOS. No one told me running a business while teaching and caring for a bunch of little people, aka, my kids, was a momentous feat. Who has time to write in a diary?

January 13, 2007

It’s such a good feeling to be under an official hashgacha of the Vaad Harabanim of the Five Towns and Far Rockaway. Till now, a lot of people bought from us because they were friends who would eat by us anyway for meals. It’s so much easier to direct all the kashrus questions to Rabbi Eisen, the head of

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the Vaad. He has been so helpful. It’s humbling that we now have to get the mashgiach to wash the strawberries, since the policy is that an owner can’t wash their own. Then again, it takes another thing off Eliahu’s list of things to do. (And guess who always has fresh strawberries ready for her whipped cream?)

February 12, 2008

What a difference a year makes.

Eliahu and Chaia Frishman I’ve been so bad at journaling. Been so busy. It’s amazing how word of mouth gets out. I met a lady at the YDT Tea, and when I introduced myself as Chaia Frishman, teacher and parent, she said, “Hey, aren’t you the fruit lady?”

Well, look at that. I guess I am. Been hard juggling working Fridays in the winter and getting platters delivered and Shabbos prepared with clean, happy kids by licht benching. AAAAH. But baruch Hashem, we are already up to 20 platters a week!

March 8, 2008

I really need to do what my friend said and put a rubber band on my wrist and snap it every time I space out. (Though, do spaced-out people remember to snap rubber bands?) But when I walk into Costco, I either picture myself sitting on my deck in the patio furniture or conveniently forget that I don’t need another hoodie, since I have 12 at home. (Hard to resist, it was smushy velour!!!)

Anyway, I was in the small appliances aisle, and I noticed an ice cream making machine. A light went off in my head! What if we took some of the fruit that is still yummy, but no longer pretty, and make sorbet out of it? I imagined cantaloupe, honeydew, watermelon, or pineapple sorbet. Yum! Or what about mango or kiwi? What if I mix them?

By the time I was at the checkout counter, I happily added a new product to the “More” in our biz.

April 30, 2008

Seems that mango sorbet and strawberry sorbet are the most popular. So much for only using leftover fruits. Will order more cases of each for the next batch of sorbet.

December 2009

Yussie Seif is the grapefruit man. Also, the “help the clueless Frishmans get a car for deliveries” man. When I bring the grapefruit to his shop, we schmooze about business. He told me to start making soups out of the vegetables that are left over. I don’t usually have leftover vegetables. But I like soup, and it fits in with our biz motto, “If it grows from the ground, we sell it.”

He did mention an idea to also use leftover fruits (how much leftovers do people think we have?! I mean, we sell almost a hundred platters a month!) to make fruit soup. Visions of berries and peaches and mangos and pineapple danced in my head. Yay. Yussie helped us add new categories to the “More!”

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March 2010

Erev Pesach season. We have a really great avreich who makes amazing dips who asked if he could sell them through us. The timing of introducing a new product isn’t great, but hey. Why not? I’m addicted to his hummus!!!

July 2010

Eliahu’s Moroccan aunt Esther came to New York for a month. They have been puttering around the kitchen as she teaches him her famous recipes for matbucha, Turkish salad and eggplant dip.

August 2010

Avreich moved to Monsey. But he left us his recipes and permission to use them to make our own dips to sell. (More. More. More.)

September 2013

Cool that I found the diary again. I should clean my magazine rack more often. I probably also shouldn’t leave my diary in a magazine rack.

Maybe I’ll write something in it later. Who am I kidding?

March 12, 2014

I took another deeeeeep breath. I had to take many such deep breaths today. It prevented me from a raised voice, but did not prevent a stomach whose bottom felt like it fell out. A well-meaning child getting something for a class Chumash accomplishment opened one of our five business freezers (the basement one.) Said child has zerizus and a double sealed bag of kosher for Pesach brownies. What said child lacked was the presence of mind to CLOSE the freezer.

The 450-plus containers of sorbet (about $3,500 dollars in inventory…) that Eliahu prepared for Pesach two weeks ago (it’s crazy how we turn over our kitchen for Pesach before Purim…) are now mere colorful pints of liquid. Baruch Hashem, we started prepping early enough to re-churn them. Did I mention that I replaced potential yelling with deep breathing?? I think I need to reward myself with a pint of lemon sorbet.

It sure fits the mood. At least the upstairs freezers are frozen.

June 8, 2015

I’m sitting in the car at Restaurant Depot when I get the call from my editor, Chanie Nayman. She asked if I would be interested in writing a new column for Mishpacha Family Table’s magazine. I’ve written for her before, mostly recipes, and in general consider writing

WHEN I INTRODUCED MYSELF AS CHAIA FRISHMAN, TEACHER AND PARENT, SHE SAID, “HEY, AREN’T YOU THE FRUIT LADY?”

one of my professions, but MY OWN COLUMN!!!

Life is good. And being in the food industry really helps with my connections to find more people to interview for my “Soundbites” column. Some of the recipes are from our business. Share the wealth, I say. People still like it when Eliahu makes it!

September 8, 2015

Rosh Hashana is soooooo early this year!

And, it’s on a Monday night. So our fruits need to be delivered on Thursday and the Shehecheyanu bowls need to go out even earlier. AAAHH. I tried telling my customers that I’m closing this Rosh Hashana. They didn’t believe me. Maybe because I only DREAMED of telling them that.

Sometimes, I wish I could change careers and become an assistant veterinarian, or a hot air balloon operator, or maybe something really soothing like a judge in a pie eating contest.

Even though I know it works out in the end, coordinating Rosh Hashana new-fruit baskets and ordering those weird fruits a month in advance to reserve our cases is stressful. Sometimes, fruits don’t ripen in time and don’t even materialize! Did I mention that the start of the school year is a killer for us teachers?

November 2015

It’s really funny. Our business is ten years old and people are constantly assuming I make the fruit platters. (Sure, I can make you one. Do you have six hours to wait?) A colleague once stopped me to comment on the beautiful platter he received during shiva. Told me what a great job I did cutting it. I corrected him. “No, no! I don’t cut the platters, my husband does!”

I do think I know why the message isn’t getting across. Eliahu told me some woman in Costco stopped him and gushed. He told me she said, “Tell Chaia she did a wonderful job on the vegetable arrangement.” My humble spouse’s answer? “Will do.”

January 2016

Mrs. Shapiro was on the phone again. Frantic, as usual. Taking the order was stressful enough as I assured her we would not let the pineapple touch the watermelon in her platter. Apparently, her platter never arrived... Without missing a beat, I asked, “Did you look in your basement fridge?” I don’t know if she even has one. Bingo. Of course, it was there. Fruit prophecy is my specialty.

(That, and knowing that kids never tell their parents when they put away deliveries…)

The Jewish Jewish Home Home || OCTOBER JANUARY 28, The 29, 2021 2015

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February 2017

Tu B’Shvat always terrifies me. I guess this is what an esrog seller feels like in the months leading up to Sukkos. We decided to change it up a bit and do a haeitz platter with dried fruits, nuts and fresh fruits. A lot of the shivas haminim are on there. But I put my foot down when someone asked me to put olives and barley and wheat crackers in the package. Ew. I bought enough stock for the usual 70-plus platters. Almost half of those orders were cancelled when people realized that Tu B’Shvat was during midwinter vacation so they wouldn’t be around to use it. Phooey. Gonna be selling a lot of dried fruit this coming year.

February 2018

A blizzard. Two years in a row for a stressful Tu B’shvat!! With fifty orders waiting to get out. Charming. I need to ask Eliahu again if he would consider changing our business to selling something less stressful. Idk, like paper clips.

March 2019

Why do people call at midnight on Monday to order a fruit platter for the following Wednesday? An even better question is, why don’t I put my phone on airplane mode after 8 p.m.?

May 2019

I’m not a pushy person. I usually talk people out of ordering a super deluxe platter that feeds 50-60 for their Shalom Zachor. Yes, there might be that many people there, but not everyone is going to take fruit on a Friday night! The hardest to gauge, though, are the mini cups for simchas. So nice and sanitary.

But do you order one per anticipated guest? I usually tell people to order ¾ of the number of guests they are having. You expect 100 people, get 75. With a caveat. I told this worried customer today that if he thought his wife would freak out if there wasn’t fruit left ten minutes before the end of the party (usually when there is also no cake or salad…) he should order more. Shalom Bayis trumps all.

June 2019

Prepped for graduation and end-of-the-year gifts and end-of-the-schoolyear parties. Thirty-five cases of fruit for this weekend. People are so funny.

Some call two weeks in advance to place their order to make sure it’s in; others call 45 minutes before licht benching and calmly ask to order a platter like it’s not strange at all. Our policy is that any orders after cut off time can’t be filled. We have Shabbos like everyone else, and boundaries has only helped our business. That is, unless a baby boy was just born. Then Eliahu will bring out the knives and cutting board.

I remember one Sukkos. It was Thursday, second day Yom Tov. There was a knock on the door, and a neighbor’s son came in to ask if we had a platter to sell him. I thought it was chutzpah to come directly to our house!

Till he told me that he came right after his mom just gave birth to a boy. Yup. The knives came out again. (Even as I type this, it feels a little violent.)

Yosef asked me once why people called last minute for platters. I told him that sometimes when the baby is born on Friday, they have no choice. “Yeah, Ema, but that doesn’t explain the people who call Friday afternoon for a bar mitzvah platter. They had 13 years to order!”

Smart boy.

April 22, 2020

I was so nervous about this week. No one is really making simchas because of Corona. Who would order platters? “Fear not!” Hashem said. I had more platters ordered for this Shabbos than for Pesach! Why? Tons of parents sent their kids’ rebbeim and teachers platters of hakaras hatov. Really, no words. It was very moving. (Though I will point out that none of the parents in my class sent me a fruit platter for my hard work. I’m really miffed.)

November 8, 2020

We decided to surprise some friends and gift them by adding a special touch to the vort platter they ordered. Eliahu made cutouts of the letters in the chosson’s and kallah’s names in watermelon and arranged it really nicely.

When the father picked it up, he noticed the surprise and thanked me. A few minutes after he left, I got a text. “Thanks so much for the extra touch but you spelled Akiva with a kuf and it’s really spelled with a kaf.”

When I pointed out that that’s how Akiva is generally spelled, he insisted that this family has a different way of spelling it. Being ever so open to learning new things, I thought, Wow. I should have asked. Who knew? I mean, I have friends who spell their names Gennypher not Jennifer or Sarah and not Sara, but I thought Hebrew was different. Still, being stubborn, I wanted to confirm I wasn’t illiterate. It took me only half an hour and a few calls to my Israeli peeps to assure me this was a joke. Once I figured out, I was laughing pretty hard at my gullibility. I took back my profuse apology from before.

Hey – the customer is always right. Even when they are kidding around and giving you a heart attack for a huge error.

My need for everyone to LOVE their platters sometimes gets in the way of common sense.

Also, remember the space cadet in Costco? She’s alive and well living on Beach Ninth Street in Far Rockaway.

January 21, 2021

Shoshana Soroka, the editor of The Jewish Home, called to ask me if I was interested in writing an article about our fruit platter business for the Tu B’Shvat issue. I thought it would be weird to pretend to interview myself so I pitched the idea of “Diaries of a Fruit Lady.” She really liked it. I hope I can meet the deadline. After all, Tu B’Shvat is here again. Is there a Nor’easter in the forecast?

For more information, visit us at fruitplattersandmore.com.

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In The K

tchen

Beef Ramen Soup

By Naomi Nachman

Ramen noodle bowls have been the rage over the last few years.

Whose kids don’t love those noodle soups in the

foam cups? They are not the healthiest food, so I

tried to come up with a way to feed my family with a healthier version of these soups. I developed this

noodle soup, which is lower in calories and is packed with nutritious ingredients. For the kids, I use

rice or egg noodles� for me and my husband, I prefer

spiralized zucchini. It’s a great way to repurpose leftover meat or chicken from Shabbat.

Ingredients

Preparation

b2 TBS olive oil b1 large leek, sliced b3 medium carrots, grated b2 stalks celery, diced b2 cloves garlic, minced b¼ cup fresh chopped cilantro or parsley, divided b8 cups chicken stock b1 teaspoon sesame oil b1 TBS soy sauce b1-2 tsp sriracha (optional) b10 pieces shitake mushroom, stems removed and sliced b2-3 medium zucchini spiralized (zoodles) b3 scallions, chopped b2 baby bok choy heads, sliced bLeftover Shabbat meat (or chicken), sliced very thin bSoft-boiled eggs, halved bSalt & pepper, to taste

1.

Heat the olive oil in a large soup pot over medium-high heat.

2. Add the leek, carrots, and celery and cook for about 10 minutes until the vegetables get soft.

3. Add the garlic and cilantro (or parsley) and cook for another minute.

4.

Add the stock, sesame oil, soy sauce, and sriracha.

5. Bring the soup to a boil, turn down the heat, and simmer for 10 minutes, then add the shitake mushrooms.

6. In individual serving bowl that holds a large amount of soup, divide the zucchini, scallions, bok choy, meat, and egg (one egg per bowl).

7. Pour boiling hot soup into the bowls and serve immediately.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

We’ve never missed a game at Michigan or New England or wherever. For the first two games [of this season] when I was in the hospital, I didn’t even care if they were playing, much less missing the game. It was a matter of life and death, just like [for] anybody who goes to the hospital. That’s serious stuff.

- Tom Brady, Sr. in an ESPN interview disclosing that he and his cancer-surviving wife battled Covid at the beginning of this season, during his son’s first two games as quarterback of Tampa Bay

When I announced it, you all said it wasn’t possible. Gimme a break. C’mon man.

- President Biden’s response to a question whether the goal of distributing 100 million vaccines in 100 days is too modest

Entire shelves of my office library are devoted to the Arab-Israeli conflict. The titles range from The History of the Arab-Israeli Conflict, 5th Edition, to the Routledge Atlas of the Arab-Israeli Conflict, and Teaching the Arab-Israeli Conflict. There are the reference books once considered essential – The Arab-Israeli Conflict: Readings and Documents, by John Norton Moore, and Walter Laqueur’s The Arab-Israel Reader. There are right- and leftwing perspectives, works by Muslims, Christians, Jews, the memoirs of peacemakers and generals. The literature spans over seven decades and seemed destined to expand through many more. But, suddenly, these books about history have become books of history.

Now, with the signing of the Abraham Accords between Israel, the United Arab Emirates, Sudan, and Bahrain, and the Moroccan-Israeli peace deal, the Arab-Israeli conflict is dead.

– Michael Oren, Israel’s former ambassador to the United States, writing in Tablet Magazine

If Biden really wanted unity, he’d lynch Mike Pence.

-Tweet by New York Times contributor Will Wilkinson

Sheldon loved an Israel that most of the residents living here don’t even want. He preached a racism that is inimical to us.

He supported discrimination against Arabs, which we are definitely not prepared to go along with. He hated leftists and did his utmost to make Israeli society fractious. He encouraged internal disputes and rivalries among ourselves, even though he himself didn’t live here. Everything he loved, I hate.

Everything I love about Israel has nothing to do with Adelson.

– From a Jerusalem Post op-ed about recently deceased Sheldon Adelson by Ehud Olmert, the former prime minister of Israel who spent years in jail for engaging in bribery and corruption, titled, “I hate everything Sheldon Adelson loved about Israel”

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

27 95

I feel as a legal immigrant that this government is spitting on the faces of every legal immigrant in this country that contributed to this nation. As of January 20th, [the] United States officially became the Socialist United States of America. We are no longer citizens. We are second-class citizens, and it’s a disgrace.

- Agnes Gibboney, a legal immigrant whose son was murdered by an illegal immigrant, talking about President Biden halting all deportations for 100 days, on Fox News

I didn’t feel a thing.

– World War II veteran Henry Sayler after he became the millionth senior in Florida to get the vaccine

I just want to say how happy we are to live in the number one state in the union and have the number one governor in the union.

- Ibid.

It could just be a favor for some contact, a favor for someone in the Jewish community, a favor for a donor. Who knows what it is?

– Gov. Cuomo, during a radio interview on January 19, when he was asked about a rumor that Trump may pardon Sheldon Silver, violating the number one rule of liberalism by connecting one person’s action to a whole community

We believe that the best approach to a valid, fair and successful election is one that is conducted manually, in-person, making it easy for associates to verify and cast their vote in close proximity to their workplace.

- Amazon’s spokeswoman talking about Amazon’s fight to prevent a pending employee unionization vote from taking place by absentee ballot (Amazon’s CEO Jeff Bezos also owns the Washington Post, which repeatedly mocked Trump’s concern about mail-in ballots)

First Shabbat! I made chicken soup, kugel, more chicken, challah and purchased the finest Trader Joe’s chocolate babka as recommended by friends. Wow, I could never do this every Friday but it was beautiful!

- Tweet by a non-Jewish celebrity chef and actress

MORE QUOTES

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

Double-masking is a sensible and easy way to lower your risk when you have to spend more time around others — in a taxi, on a train or plane, or at an inauguration.

– From a New York Times article, titled “Two Masks Are the New Masks”

If you have a physical covering with one layer, you put another layer on it just makes common sense that it likely would be more effective.

-Dr. Anthony Fauci, who last March said that masks don’t work, when asked whether people should wear two masks

Is the picture of America that’s presented by the radicals, I would say — Black Lives Matter, some of them, the anti-racists — of America 2021, is it an accurate picture?

Because sometimes I’m like, “Are they talking about 2021?” Am I wrong to not want to see race all the time? Because that’s how I was brought up. Like, that’s what a good liberal does, is you don’t see race.

And now, they switched it all around, and I’m bad because I don’t see it all the time.

Is ubiquity even effective? To make people aware of this issue at every turn?

When Senator Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) railed at the doors of the Supreme Court amid a throng of furious pro-abortion protestors, called out the judges in session by name, and threatened and warned them that they were to reap a whirlwind and that they would have no idea of what might soon “hit” them, he later shrugged that he was speaking Brooklynese, the sort of rough patois he grew up with – as opposed, we must suppose, to Donald Trump’s Queens rough talk? Is Schumer to lead the Senate trial of Trump because he has the most congressional experience in threatening public officials while revving up a mob?

- Bill Maher, HBO

- Victor Davis Hanson, American Greatness

Good Riddance, Donald Trump!

I stand with the students & workers of #WI, impressive show of democracy in action #solidarityWI

-Tweet by the official Chinese government news agency on January 20, 2021

I’ve been wanting to come on your show for months and months. You’ve been asking me to come on your show for months and months and it’s just gotten blocked.

Let’s call it what it is – it just got blocked because they didn’t like the way you handle things and they didn’t want me on.

- Dr. Fauci during his appearance on “The Rachel Maddow Show”

- Recently unearthed tweet by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi from 10 years ago, after pro-union demonstrators stormed the Wisconsin State Capitol in 2011 by breaking windows and shattering doors in an attempt to block a vote on collective bargaining reform

It’s your party that believes in govt power: to shut your business, to oppress your faith & to censor your speech. Anyone who disagrees, they try to cancel. BTW, a lot of folks in Hollywood are conservative – & muzzled by the fascist Left.

– Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) responding to a tweet by Seth Rogan, who called him a fascist for supporting Trump

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Political Crossfire

The Biden Administration’s Saudi Problem

By David Ignatius

A

s the Biden administration seeks a better pathway in the U.S.-Saudi relationship, one obstacle is the case of two young Saudis imprisoned by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman to pressure their father, a former top Saudi intelligence official.

Mohammed bin Salman, known as MBS, has been trying to force the former intelligence official, Saad Aljabri, to return to the kingdom from Toronto, where he has been living in exile. Two of his children, Omar and Sarah Aljabri, 22 and 20, were arrested and imprisoned last March.

Saad Aljabri’s eldest son Khalid, a cardiologist who lives with his father in exile, said they are being used as “political hostages” to secure the former official’s return.

With the transition to a new administration, Khalid Aljabri argued in an email to me, securing his siblings’ freedom “will be the U.S.’s most accurate litmus test for their ability to influence and alter the behavior of MBS.” Despite then-President Donald

Trump’s strong support for MBS, the State Department said in August that pressuring the Aljabri children was “unacceptable” and urged their immediate release, according to a letter provided by the Aljabri family. The letter said that any Saudi allegations against Aljabri “should be addressed through established legal channels with full transparency.”

The sensitive case now falls to the Biden administration, which wants to maintain the U.S. security partnership with Saudi Arabia but also seeks a “reassessment” that puts greater emphasis on human rights issues.

“The State Department will continue to make clear to Saudi authorities that any prosecution of Aljabri’s family is unacceptable,” a senior State Department official told me Sunday. “Similarly, we are concerned by the circumstances that led to [Saad Aljabri’s] exile in Canada. We will continue to raise these concerns with senior Saudi officials.”

The Biden administration is

deeply troubled by the case and wants to send that message to the Saudis. Because the prosecution of Aljabri’s children began long before the election, officials don’t see it as a direct challenge to Biden. But as they review the totality of the U.S.-Saudi relationship, officials will be looking closely at Riyadh’s human rights record and any steps it takes in the right direction.

The Aljabri case darkened in recent weeks; Omar and Sarah were convicted in a secret trial in November for allegedly laundering money and plotting to escape the kingdom and sentenced to nine and 6 ½ years in prison, according to Khalid Aljabri. He said the Saudi charge was false, because it treated his siblings’ normal living allowances while minors as something improper, and he noted the supposed escape plan came while the country’s borders were closed because of Covid-19.

Khalid Aljabri also said the Saudi prosecutor didn’t present any direct evidence that his siblings had committed these crimes and that

the lawyer hired to represent them wasn’t allowed to meet with his clients at their undisclosed detention sites.

Last week, the case disappeared from the official online registry of Saudi criminal cases, but the family wasn’t sure what this signaled.

One reason U.S. officials, through two administrations, have been so concerned about the case is that Saad Aljabri was a key partner for the CIA in its counterterrorism efforts against al-Qaeda. A July 2020 letter to Trump from a bipartisan group of four senators noted that Aljabri “has been credited by former CIA officials for saving thousands of American lives by discovering and preventing terrorist plots.”

The senators stressed: “We believe the U.S. has a moral obligation to do what it can to assist in securing his children’s release.”

The Aljabri children were among MBS’s first targets when he seized power on June 21, 2017, deposing Crown Prince Mohammed bin Nayef, who had been Saad Aljabri’s

patron. The children were stopped at the Riyadh airport that day. Sarah, then 17, was prevented from leaving the country; her brother Omar, then 18, refused to depart without her. The two were on their way to school in the United States, where their father was then living.

Saad Aljabri pleaded with MBS to lift the travel ban. The crown prince didn’t respond at first, but he messaged Aljabri in September 2017: “I want to resolve this problem of your son and daughter, but this is a very sensitive file here,” according to a translation provided by the family. Aljabri took that as a reference to the former crown prince, whom MBS has accused of conspiring with Aljabri to skim money from secret intelligence funds. Aljabri and Mohammed bin Nayef have denied the charges through their lawyers.

When Aljabri balked at MBS’s request for cooperation in the September 2017 exchange, the crown prince warned that he would seek Aljabri’s

arrest through an Interpol warrant or “other means that would be harmful to you,” according to correspondence provided by the family.

Former Canadian Prime Minis-

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99

ner responded, through Mulroney: “It is a toxic situation – everyone has so much on the other.”

The Saudi government went ahead with its request for an In-

As they review the totality of the U.S.-Saudi relationship, officials will be looking closely at Riyadh’s human rights record and any steps it takes in the right direction.

ter Brian Mulroney offered to mediate in November 2017 and visited the White House to discuss the case with Jared Kushner, Trump’s sonin-law and senior adviser, according to Khalid Aljabri. He said that Kush-

terpol warrant for Aljabri, alleging corruption. But an Interpol commission rejected the request in July 2018. The commission noted in its ruling that “unjustified restrictive measures on his family suggest

that the case is politically motivated rather than strictly juridical.”

Saad Aljabri sued MBS in August 2020 in federal district court in Washington, hoping to force a judicial resolution of the case or a settlement negotiation. The day the suit was filed, the Trump State Department sent its extraordinary letter of support for Aljabri, calling him “a valued partner to the U.S. government, working closely with us to ensure the safety of Americans.”

The letter argued that “any persecution of … Aljabri’s family members is unacceptable.”

The Biden administration wants to maintain a strategic partnership with Saudi Arabia, just as the Trump administration did. But any reset should address the broad bipartisan concern in Washington about Saudi human rights abuses. The bogus case against Aljabri’s children would be a good place to start. (c) 2020, Washington Post Writers Group

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Political Crossfire

Three Steps Biden Can Take to Restore Unity

By Marc A. Thiessen

I

n his inaugural address, President Joe Biden extended an olive branch to supporters of former president Donald Trump: “Let’s start afresh, all of us. Let’s begin to listen to one another again.

Hear one another, see one another, show respect to one another. Politics doesn’t have to be a raging fire, destroying everything in its path.” He asked them to “hear me out as we move forward. Take a measure of me and my heart. If you still disagree so be it, that’s democracy.” But, he said, the time had come to “end this uncivil war that pits red against blue, rural versus urban, conservative versus liberal” and promised that “my whole soul is in this: Bringing America together, uniting our people, uniting our nation.”

For a nation wounded by rancor, division and insurrection, those words were a balm. But, as Biden also noted in his address, delivering on those promises “requires so much more than words.” What he does in his first days in office will determine whether his words will have real meaning. If Biden really wants to restore unity, there are three specific steps he could take.

First, he needs to find a major initiative to work on with Republicans early in his presidency.

When President Bill Clinton took office, one of the first things he did was push for passage of the North American Free Trade Agreement, negotiated by his Republican predecessor and opposed by many in his own party. When President George W. Bush took office, one of the first things he did was to reach out to the most liberal member of the senate,

Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass., and offer to work with him to pass what became the No Child Left Behind Act. Biden needs his own equivalent of No Child Left Behind – a major

muscles again.

Second, unity requires compromise – and the mechanism that ensures compromise and bipartisanship is the filibuster, which allows

Does Biden really want Washington focused on his predecessor’s failings, instead of his own priorities, during the first critical weeks of his presidency?

initiative that can bring conservatives and liberals together and help legislators on both side of the aisle begin flexing their bipartisanship

the Senate minority to delay or block legislation. Biden is the first president since Lyndon B. Johnson who is truly a man of the Senate, so he

understands you can’t restore unity while trampling the rights of the minority at the same time. If he wants to restore unity, he and fellow Democrats will have to moderate their demands, agree to some Republican priorities, and sometimes accept “no” for an answer. Senate leader Mitch McConnell is, R-Ky., pressing Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., to preserve the legislative filibuster as part of their agreement governing the rules of the 50-50 Senate.

Biden should tell Schumer he supports such an agreement.

Finally, Biden can’t restore unity if the Democratic Senate spends the next six to eight weeks presiding over the impeachment trial of his predecessor. As I have made clear in this space, Trump’s incitement of the January 6 Capitol riots was an impeachable offense. Were he still in office, his removal might be warranted. But Trump has left the White House. Does Biden really want Washington focused on his predecessor’s failings, instead of his own priorities, during the first critical weeks of his presidency? A trial would be divisive and distracting. Biden should urge Schumer and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., to put aside the articles of impeachment, so Congress can start working to enact his agenda.

In his address, Biden said, “This is our historic moment of crisis and challenge. And unity is the path forward.” By taking these three steps, he can rise to the moment and give that promise meaning.

(c) 2020, Washington Post Writers Group

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Mind Y

ur Business

Mark Levy: “You Need to Be Amazing in One Area”

By Yitzchok Saftlas

T

his column features business insights from a recent “Mind Your Business with Yitzchok Saftlas” radio show. The weekly “Mind Your Business” show – broadcasting since 2015 – features interviews with Fortune 500 executives, business leaders and marketing gurus.

Prominent guests include: John Sculley, former CEO of Apple and Pepsi; Dick Schulze, founder and Chairman Emeritus of Best Buy; and Beth Comstock, former Vice Chair of GE; among over 300+ senior-level executives and business celebrities. Yitzchok Saftlas, president of Bottom Line Marketing Group, hosts the weekly “Mind Your Business” show, which airs at 10 p.m. every Sunday night on 710WOR and throughout America on the iHeartRadio Network.

O

n a recent 77WABC “Mind Your Business” broadcast, Yitzchok Saftlas (YS) spoke with guest Mark Levy (ML), founder of Levy Innovation LLC, a positioning and branding firm that helps consultants and other thought leaders increase their fees by up to two thousand percent. * * * YS: You’re a differentiation expert, one of the leading differentiation experts out there in the world. Can you describe what you do?

ML: I help people find what I call the big idea of their business, the thing that their business is going to be known for, that’s going to be elevated at the fore of their business, on their website, in their products, in their pitches. It’s going to be their front and center, and anyone in the marketplace who falls in love with that idea will seek them out because they embody that idea. That’s the

idea of differentiation.

Sometimes people come to me, and they want to differentiate themselves – they’re a speaker, a consultant, a coach, or something like that.

They get very confused because their lives, their business, are about so many different things. They can do so many different things and so many different concepts are important to them. When they come to me, they’re apologizing for all the cool stuff that they know how to do and all the cool stuff that they’ve done in their life. I tell them: don’t apologize to me for being this amazing human being who knows a lot about everything and can do so many different things – that’s what makes you great.

You need to be amazing in one area. But I believe that you should be great in countless areas because our minds are not precision instruments. We draw from all kinds of different models and all kinds of different ideas in life. So, to me, the more things that you understand

about the world and the more things that excite you and you can draw upon, the more robust your business and your solutions will be.

How would you package the type of individual that is a perfect fit to be your client?

I deal with thought leaders and I deal with organizations, and it’s usually about people who are super-smart at what it is they do. They want to be known for one big irresistible idea, but they’re not necessarily known for that yet. Or it could be that the idea that they’re known for needs a refresh because the public has acclimated to that idea, so, it doesn’t stand out as special as it should. So, we come up with something brand new. What is that idea and how do you write and speak about it so that people get excited about it?

Something I really should specify is that the best people or the best organizations to differentiate are daring brands. They’re daring, and

they’re willing to stand out. Sometimes, people come to me and they say, I want you to position me, I want you to differentiate me and I want to stand out. And I say to them, you know, if we differentiate you properly, you will stand out, so understand that people will love you.

But you’re also going to be very visible. Are you OK with that? Are you comfortable with that? Because you can’t be about something lukewarm.

You have to go all in about a specific idea. You really have to be that; it has to be a cause in your life. You have to really support that idea. And everything you do has to be around that idea. So, you can’t really take half-measures if you truly want to differentiate in a way that’s going to make a big change in your business and in people’s lives. If you’re not comfortable in that skin, then there’s no way you’re going to be able to live with it and make it work.

I’ve heard you tell people that one elevator pitch is not

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021 The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

enough. They need to have a dozen or sometimes dozens of elevators pitches. We know how difficult it is to perfect even one elevator pitch. So, why do you say this?

People find it very difficult to talk about elevator pitches or elevator speeches because they find it very hard to sum up their lives or their businesses in a way that does justice to them that’s quick enough that people are interested and so forth.

Elevator pitches kind of scare people because they devote their lives to doing a specific job or a specific task, whatever it is they’re doing, or creating a specific product. And then they have to speak about it within a very short timeframe, let’s say 10 seconds or 20 seconds, that’s all it is.

The problem with most elevator pitches is that people try to roll their whole life into the elevator pitch, and they make it so generic and uninteresting that it can’t hold people’s attention. That’s why they find elevator pitches so difficult. What I say to people is you need elevator speeches of different lengths. You need one of, let’s say, seven to ten seconds about what it is you do. You need one of 30 seconds. You need one of 90 seconds or so, because it depends on the situation you’re going to be in. But not only that, you need those different length elevator speeches for everything you do.

You need them for your business as a whole, for each one of your products that you sell, for each one of your services that you sell.

If someone asks what I do for one of my pitches, I would say, “Consultants and other thought leaders hire me to increase their fees by up to 2,000 percent.” And then if someone said, “Oh, my G-d, how do you do that?” Then I would say, “I do that predominantly in two ways.

The first way is I’m a differentiation consultant…” Then, once I get them interested in what I have to say, I’ll talk in more detail about my business.

A format that I created that may fit some of your listeners is that you say very simply who you are and what you do. And then you say, “But the way I do it is very unusual.” When you say that, then what

you are going to do is highlight your point of differentiation.

We’re going to move to another topic that you love talking about, and that is brainstorming meetings. I’ve heard you say that brainstorming meetings don’t work.

The reason why I say brainstorming meetings don’t work is because the way I see them happen is this: that often an organization needs a new idea either for a client or for themselves. And they set a time to do a brainstorm. Everyone has a million other projects to work

to operationalize around that idea in a product they’re creating, a service, a campaign, whatever it is.

That’s why I say brainstorming meetings are broken just because of the way that they’re set up and people get too busy. So, to me, the way to go about a brainstorm meeting – I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have the brainstorm meeting – but I am a big believer that everyone in the organization who’s going to be involved in the brainstorming meeting has to have what I call a thinking campaign before the brainstorm has to happen. So, by the time the brainstorm meeting happens, they come

“You need elevator speeches of different lengths.”

on. So, no one is really thinking about the idea that they need to be brainstorming about. I’m not saying that this happens in all cases, but I’ve seen that happen, and I’ve worked with lots of organizations, so it’s almost an abdication of responsibility, to do thinking about what they’re going to be brainstorming about in the meeting. When the meeting happens, people come to the meeting, and now they’re under tremendous pressure to come up with an idea that’s usable. And so they’ll go with the first halfway decent idea that anyone comes up with in the brainstorming meeting.

Now, the whole brainstorm tilts towards that idea, like everyone says, “Oh, yeah, that’s a great idea.” And so now all the little satellite ideas that people create are in service to that halfway decent idea that they created. And now the brainstorm is over and now they have to go with that halfway decent idea because they waited so long to do the brainstorm. They didn’t do any thinking about the brainstorm ahead of time.

And so, the whole meeting was in service of that first halfway decent idea. So now they have no option but

to the meeting with so many ideas and images and stories and their minds are revved up about what is a good idea. A brainstorm about the brainstorming meeting goes way better, way smoother. The caliber of ideas is much more interesting, it’s more out there because they looked at the subject on their own from so many different ways.

Another thing that I do sometimes is that when I ask people to come to the brainstorm meeting, I give them all a piece of paper, and I ask them to write down everything that would be distracting them at the brainstorm. So, no one is going to look at this paper whatsoever. I tell them, “I want you to write down all the things that might hinder you from being present here, and you’re not going to have to share this. Then I want you to fold that paper up and I want you to write your name very clearly on it.” And then I go around with a hat or something and they just drop it in and I say, “OK, know that everything that’s going to be distracting you in this meeting, you’re going to be able to see it at the end. When we’re finished, I’m going to give everyone their paper

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back and you’re going to open it. So hopefully now in the meeting you can relax because you’re not going to have to remember anything other than what we’re focused on right now. It’ll be there in black and white at the end.”

Mark, we have only around one-minute left, so it might be an unfair question, but we’ll ask it anyways. Perhaps you could share. What’s your most important marketing tip?

Oh, yeah, that’s easy, my most important marketing tip. So, this has to do with both your marketing to the outside world or if you’re a leader in an organization to getting your messages out within your organization. And that is, honesty is key, that you need to be honest about your motivations, about how you do the work you do, why things are the way they are and the more honest and open you are. The more you get that stuff out there, and the more people will appreciate you for what’s real about you and are going to want to be around you, they’re going to want to buy your products.

They’re going to want to buy your services, and they’re going to want to work with you.

You want to be as open and honest about what makes you you and what makes your company your company.

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Forgotten Her es

Fascinating Facts about the Civil War

By Avi Heiligman

Sir Henry Morton Stanley

F

The McLean House

ighting during the American Civil War was brutal, and the conditions the soldiers had to live through were terrible. However, after delving into the annuls of history, one will discover another side of the war – full of little-known facts and tidbits that paint a picture not often told about in textbooks.

The war was more than just about its well-known battles, freeing the slaves, and states’ rights.

From the use of weapons such as repeating rifles and submarines to the locations of the battles, here are some interesting stories and facts from the war.

Fort Sumter, North Carolina, was the site of the first shots of the war. The 34-hour battle ended with a Confederate victory when the Union soldiers surrendered. There was no one killed during the battle on either side.

The first major land battle of the Civil War was the First Battle of Bull Run, and the last battle was at Appomattox, Virginia. The strange part about both of these battles was

that they took place on the property of the same man. Wilmer McLean was a grocer from Virginia and had a farm in Manassas. His house was being used as the headquarters for Confederate General P.T. Beauregard when a Union cannonball came screaming through the house and landed in his fireplace. This was too much for McLean, and he decided to pick up and move to a safer location.

Then, in April 1865, General Robert E. Lee was looking for a place to surrender his troops at Appomattox Courthouse. To the chagrin of McLean, Lee’s messenger picked his house, and the surrender was signed in his parlor. Then, to his dismay, troops began taking away furniture from McLean’s home as souvenirs.

His protests fell on deaf ears, and only a few Union generals paid for the furnishings.

The soldiers who fought in the Civil War lived through frigid winter conditions that tested their fortitude and will to fight. Snow didn’t stop them from fighting, although no shot was fired – from a gun.

A depiction of the Battle of Fort Sumter

These were two of largest snowball fights in recorded history. In January 1863, soldiers from Texas starting throwing snowballs at other Confederates from Arkansas. Over 9,000 soldiers took part in his fight.

A year later, thousands in the Army of Tennessee took part in another large snowball fight. A newspaper later wrote about the “battle”: “The biggest bloodless battle that was ever fought on American soil, using snowballs instead of shot and shell.”

Having to stop and reload after every shot took too much time, and the army turned to manufacturers for solutions. Over a hundred thousand Spencer Repeating Rifles, Henry Rifles and other guns were delivered to armies on both sides.

Spencer Rifles used an automated reloading mechanism that was able to fire up to twenty rounds a minute. The Henry Rifle used a .44 caliber cartridge that was able to shoot sixteen times before needing to be reloaded.

The South was the first to successfully deploy a submarine. The

CSS Hunley was a man-powered submarine in the Confederate Navy that sank and was recovered twice before approaching the Union blockade in Charleston Harbor. On February 17, 1864, it approached the USS Housatonic and slammed an explosive charge mounted on a long pole called a spar torpedo into her. The Union ship was the first to be sunk by a sub in history but the Hunley sank again for a third and final time.

Aerial reconnaissance got off the ground during the Civil War with the use of hot air balloons. They were able to reach an altitude of 1,000 feet. On very clear days, the observers in the balloons were able to see as far as seven miles. A Union barge was used to carry balloons, making the USS George Washington Parke Curtis the first aircraft carrier in history. Balloons were successfully used in many battles as the observers relayed information to the ground using signal flags or telegraphs.

Gettysburg was the scene of the

battle that turned the tide in the war in the favor of the Union. The costly battle was General Lee’s attempt in 1863 to invade the North and put pressure on Washington (the South invaded in 1862 and lost at Antietam, Maryland, and a smaller force in 1864 lost at Monocacy, Maryland). A stockpile of shoes may have been the reason Confederate General Henry Heth picked the quiet town as the scene for the famous battle.

The South badly needed shoes and heard that over a thousand pairs were in the town. General Pettigrew took troops there to investigate. He found Union troops there instead of shoes. Ignoring direct orders to not engage Union troops, a small skirmish started. On July1, 1863, Union cavalry under General John Buford made a heroic stand which allowed Union infantry (foot soldiers) to come up in support. The bloodiest battle on North American soil lasted three days. Some historians say it all could have been avoided

if Confederate General JEB Stuart and his cavalry had been there to report on the location of Union troops.

Instead, he had taken a long ride

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105

Americans and African Americans join their ranks along with many Europeans. Sir Henry Morton Stanley was a Welsh-born journalist and

A newspaper later wrote about the “battle”: “The biggest bloodless battle that was ever fought on American soil, using snowballs instead of shot and shell.”

around the Union lines and failed to report to his headquarters.

Many foreigners and soldiers with interesting backgrounds fought in the war. All of them were volunteers with no mercenaries fighting in the war. Both sides saw Native

adventurer who later became known for his explorations into Africa. He moved to the U.S. when he was 18, and when the Civil War broke out a few years later, he joined the 6th Arkansas Infantry Regiment in the Confederate Army. During the Bat-

tle of Shiloh in 1862, he was taken prisoner, and while in a prison camp he was recruited as a “Galvanized Yankee” (Southern soldiers who after capture joined the Union Army).

However, two and half weeks later, he became sick and was discharged.

This wasn’t the end of his fighting.

After recovering, he served on merchant ships before joining the U.S. Navy. He served on the USS Minnesota as their recordkeeper. This occupation began his career as a journalist. His story is even more incredible as he was the only person to serve in both armies and a navy.

These stories and facts are just some of the many fascinating occurrences from the Civil War.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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Your

15

Money

Punch Drunk

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

O

dds are good that if you hear the words “Mike Tyson” and “money,” you think of the huge purses ($685 million!) that Iron Mike won, then squandered, in his colorful career. Tyson, who surely could have benefited from reading a Dave Ramsey book, was legendary for his excess. Who else would drop $1.5 million on five Bentley Azures in a single day, or $180,000 on three Bengal tigers, or $2 million for a gold bathtub? Boxing fans can debate where Tyson ranks at throwing punches — but pound-for-pound, he was the heavyweight champion of the world at throwing away his money.

It turns out, though, that on his journey from the mean streets of Brooklyn to the glittering Las Vegas strip, Tyson learned something profoundly important about our own favorite topic: tax planning. Back in 1996, as he was preparing to earn $30 million for 30 minutes work fighting Evander Holyfield for the WBA Heavyweight Championship, a reporter asked him if he had a “plan” for the fight. Tyson, who turns out to be a lot smarter than some people might have expected, famously quipped, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

Tax planners like us don’t headline on pay-per-view TV. We don’t take down multimillion dollar purses in Vegas casinos. But we still get punched in the mouth, even if we rarely lose a tooth. And the way we bob and weave when we’re in the ring for you can make the difference be-

the tax hit now in exchange for taxfree income down the road? Events like the Covid recession wreak havoc for some clients and create surprising opportunities (like Roth IRA conversions) for others. This chaos makes careful planning and projection crucial.

Who else would drop $1.5 million on five Bentley Azures in a single day, or $180,000 on three Bengal tigers, or $2 million for a gold bathtub?

tween showing off your new bling or paying your rent with Wendy’s coupons.

We’ve just taken one unexpected punch in the form of Covid-19. Much of the planning we do involves estimating when and how best to recognize taxable income. For example: should you contribute to a “traditional” retirement plan, defer the tax, and pay when you take it out? Or should you choose a Roth option and take

Now, it looks like we’re about to take some more jabs in the form of higher taxes. Candidate Joe Biden proposed rolling back most of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017, and his razor-thin majorities in the House and Senate should make those changes possible. These would include raising corporate taxes from 21% to 28%, raising the top rate on individuals back to 39.6%, and capping the value of itemized deductions at 28% for fil-

ers earning over $400,000. He would also reduce the estate tax threshold from $11.7 million to $3.5 million and raise the rate from 40% to 45%.

Biden has also proposed hikes that would go well beyond undoing the 2017 cuts. For starters, he would double the rate on capital gains for taxpayers earning over $1 million.

That probably wouldn’t have cost Tyson anything: as good as he was at buying, there’s no known record he ever sold anything at a profit.

And Biden would also impose the full 12.4% social security tax on wages over $400,000. That sort of haymaker would have cost Tyson an extra $85 million over his career. Just imagine how many tigers or cars the extra tax would have knocked out!

2021 is going to be a “Main Event” year for tax planning. There won’t be room to hide in the ring. Good thing you’ve got us in your corner! We’ll help you go the distance against whatever punches Washington throws.

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021

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111

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Life C ach

Keep Them Warm Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS

M

y mother always said, “Take a sweater with you. It may get cold out.”

I never took the sweater – it always got cold!

Mothers are smart! But it doesn’t convince everyone enough. Most kids learn in hindsight because an epiphany is not an epiphany till you have it yourself.

Kids aren’t good at anticipating.

They don’t believe what they don’t see or feel.

So how do moms know better?

Mostly, through experience.

The best thing a mom can have is a large tote bag! That way, when she can’t convince her kid that they will, in fact, get cold later, or hungry later,

have to figure it out on their own.

A mom has got to remember that if she could have gotten through to the kid, she would have!

Then, it will help if she gives it over to G-d. The stress of holding onto it or arguing with her kid will just aggravate them both. Handing the situation over to G-d is the best way to go. You get a 24/7 partner, and you can’t do better than that.

I’m not saying husbands, friends, therapists, rabbis, etc. aren’t helpful, too. After all, they do say it takes a village. And I’m not saying that when it comes to safety and protection you might not have to try even a little more.

And if you tell them that’s the rea-

An epiphany is not an epiphany till you have it yourself.

or thirsty later, she can carry it all along. Basically, it saves a lot of conversation and trying to convince the kid and – it does the trick!

It gets tougher when our kids venture out on their own. Because then they have to either believe you or, like they say, learn the hard way. And as much as it stinks for them, it kills the mother more because she feels she could have prevented it.

That’s the mistakes moms make.

They think they can get through to a kid more than they can get through to a kid.

Sure, moms can try. But, it’s important to realize that sometimes kids

son, and they believe it, at least it conveys to your children you are asking because you love them. Even if they don’t listen, they feel loved.

If the child is still pushing their agenda, it’s nice to know you can talk to an around-the-clock partner and at the right price.

Guess what? I became a mother and said to my kids things like, “Take a sweater. It may get cold later.” Sometimes, they heard me. And sometimes, they got cold. To be truthful, many times, the requests were probably more demanding.

I know a sweater is a simple thing.

Sometimes, the requests we make get

bigger, and the price of not listening gets higher.

And it’s a tough journey till our kids learn.

All I can say is I love my mom for having tried.

And I love her for caring.

And I love her for struggling through the times I didn’t hear her and still loving me anyway.

Sometimes, it may feel hard to warm up that kid who comes home

chilly but didn’t listen.

Still, for me, that’s what I loved the best: that she always did!

And that let me know that she loved me no matter what!

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach.

She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.

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JANUARY 28, 2021 | The Jewish Home

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