The Jewish Home | JANUARY 28, 2021
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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Life C ach
Keep Them Warm Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
M
y mother always said, “Take a sweater with you. It may get cold out.” I never took the sweater – it always got cold! Mothers are smart! But it doesn’t convince everyone enough. Most kids learn in hindsight because an epiphany is not an epiphany till you have it yourself. Kids aren’t good at anticipating. They don’t believe what they don’t see or feel. So how do moms know better? Mostly, through experience. The best thing a mom can have is a large tote bag! That way, when she can’t convince her kid that they will, in fact, get cold later, or hungry later,
have to figure it out on their own. A mom has got to remember that if she could have gotten through to the kid, she would have! Then, it will help if she gives it over to G-d. The stress of holding onto it or arguing with her kid will just aggravate them both. Handing the situation over to G-d is the best way to go. You get a 24/7 partner, and you can’t do better than that. I’m not saying husbands, friends, therapists, rabbis, etc. aren’t helpful, too. After all, they do say it takes a village. And I’m not saying that when it comes to safety and protection you might not have to try even a little more. And if you tell them that’s the rea-
An epiphany is not an epiphany till you have it yourself.
or thirsty later, she can carry it all along. Basically, it saves a lot of conversation and trying to convince the kid and – it does the trick! It gets tougher when our kids venture out on their own. Because then they have to either believe you or, like they say, learn the hard way. And as much as it stinks for them, it kills the mother more because she feels she could have prevented it. That’s the mistakes moms make. They think they can get through to a kid more than they can get through to a kid. Sure, moms can try. But, it’s important to realize that sometimes kids
son, and they believe it, at least it conveys to your children you are asking because you love them. Even if they don’t listen, they feel loved. If the child is still pushing their agenda, it’s nice to know you can talk to an around-the-clock partner and at the right price. Guess what? I became a mother and said to my kids things like, “Take a sweater. It may get cold later.” Sometimes, they heard me. And sometimes, they got cold. To be truthful, many times, the requests were probably more demanding. I know a sweater is a simple thing. Sometimes, the requests we make get
bigger, and the price of not listening gets higher. And it’s a tough journey till our kids learn. All I can say is I love my mom for having tried. And I love her for caring. And I love her for struggling through the times I didn’t hear her and still loving me anyway. Sometimes, it may feel hard to warm up that kid who comes home
chilly but didn’t listen. Still, for me, that’s what I loved the best: that she always did! And that let me know that she loved me no matter what!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.
