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MARCH 4, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Dating Dialogue
What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
I have been dating for a few years now, and I have honed in on what I am looking for. None have been on the mark quite as much as one young woman in particular who came very close. At a certain point, I feel like I should have known if she was for me, and I just was not feeling that. There was no reason in particular that I could say, nor
did anything about her particularly bother me. All the qualities I am looking for are qualities she had – but I just was not feeling more, extra, exciting feelings. I did not want to settle, so we ended it. I have been dating a year since we went out, and I look back and wonder if I should have given it more of a shot. Happens to be, when I expressed my feelings, she replied that it was mutual for the same reason (i.e. no intense excitement to move forward), so maybe it is even silly to be thinking about it. But it has been on my mind recently. What level of intense excitement really needs to be there in shidduch dating to know this is truly the one for you? Is finding a great girl who has common goals, hashkafa, who I’m attracted to, and feel positive about without much else enough to jump in? What do people do when they don’t really KNOW? Thanks for your time, Rafael*
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
