The Jewish Home | AUGUST 20, 2020
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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Life C ach
Finding the Time By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC
A
ttending a minyan… You’ve got it easy. Times are set up for you. Friends are there waiting for you. Your siddur is in a bag, with some bulk, so it’s easier to locate then the standalone mini that non-tefillin users utilize. And you also get to leave the house, no matter what is going on there. We home daveners need to find a “time.” And that’s easier said than done. Somehow, when it’s your own to set up, it just seems to get shoved around a bit. Whether it’s kids, coffee, or clothes, something distracts you. Yes, it should take priority, and it does – in your mind! But, in getting the morning prayers done, well, that’s a whole different story. We wake up perfectly set to grab that prayer book and start our day, right? But then life calls. Whether it does from the other room or on the phone, we are lost. We now begin the game of catch up. We spend the next few hours trying to catch up to that moment when we can find time to talk to our Maker – not that we don’t do it informally in a million ways till then. It’s just that getting around to reciting that formal outline that the rabbis constructed on how best to
start a day seems to present an endless challenge. OK, finally, either the kids are out, or we arrived at work, or got our morning routine done, or whatever held us up a good part of the day, we are ready to get it done. So, first, where did we leave our siddur? Why do they make those
ma? Or did we get to that this morning just to be on time but feeling we cheated and now feel somehow out of order?! And finally, where will we be when it’s time for the silent standing prayer? Will someone need us right then or, worse, need to pass by the spot we planted ourselves?! Will our
Celebrate that you are getting to put in place the calm before the storm.
things so small anyway? Sure, they make bigger ones but who can lug one more large item around with them?! Between what’s in our purse, our cellphone with the hefty extender battery, and the large size latte we’ve become addicted to needing, we would fall over with one more oversized item. Second, we must consider how much time we have. Can we say it all? Or do we skip around to the important stuff. And there’s the stress of what is the really important stuff. Third, are we already late for She-
boss be calling us? Will our baby need feeding? Will our session be starting? It seems the praying should help start our day with a sense of calm and perspective. The problem is that often we need to calm down and find perspective to commit to the praying. This daily struggle often becomes the storm before the calm. If only we could just leave everything first thing in the morning and just focus on saying the prayers. For instance: having a built-in babysitter who is there for the kids
so we can just walk out and go somewhere where praying is all that’s going on so we can concentrate. Maybe, we should have friends to support us in doing it daily. Perhaps even nine of them. We should even have a designated bag used only for prayer paraphernalia so we don’t lose it. So, if we can get this going, there won’t be any heroics about needing to get up and out – rain, snow, or heat. First, look at all the supports you have in place to make it happen easily. Don’t think your day is defined or constrained by having to do this first before anything else. Take note, our day is defined by trying to get to it all day and on our own. Recognize the ease within which you get to prayer. And celebrate that you are getting to put the calm before the storm in place first thing in the morning! Attending a minyan… You’ve got it easy. So, do me a favor and put in an extra prayer for us, too!
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.
