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MAY 7, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Dating Dialogue
What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
I am a 32-year-old single woman who has always been very stable and confident. I am used to hearing friends complain about being single, but I have always felt confident that Hashem will find the right one and send him to me at the right time. I have been the point of contact as a mentor for many women who are single to gain chizuk, and I encourage women to live their best life whether they are married or not. I have been busy between friends, the gym, my exhilarating and time-consuming job, and traveling (I LOVE traveling, for business trips and vacations). I have dated a lot, obviously, but not obsessively. I am very passionate that when the right one comes along, it will be very clear; I have not settled until now and I don’t plan on it.
Over the course of the past few weeks I’ve felt a sadness and depression that I have never felt before. I am so used to going to work, feeling accomplished, and enjoying life that I never much felt alone or negative being single. Now I feel a whole different way. I have been furloughed as non-essential, my gym is closed, and I can’t travel. I can’t have Shabbos meals and run chessed projects like I used to. I am finally feeling what the people I have counseled feel, and I feel like a fraud. I have never felt like this before. I am starting to feel a depression that consists of a lot of regret – regret that I haven’t put half as much energy into dating as I should have. I am also regretting relationships I have ended prematurely, which, in retrospect, may have been able to work if I worked harder. I’m not even quite sure what my question is, because I have so many. How do I deal with these newfound feelings? How do I make sense of this guilt? Thank you, Sheva
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.
Our intention is not to offer any definitive
conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
