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Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Jewish Family Congregation www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
April Shabbat and Holiday Services Schedule
First Shabbat of Passover April 3
First Seder, No Services at JFC
April 4
Second Seder at Temple Shearith
6:00 pm
All smiles in Ruth Ossher’s Religious School’s class.
Israel, Ridgefield, CT, RSVP Required
Second Shabbat of Passover April 10
7:30 pm
Erev Shabbat, 7th Day Pesach and Yizkor Services at Temple Shearith
Israel, Ridgefield, CT Shabbat Shemini, Leviticus 9:1 – 11:47 April 17
7:30 pm
Shabbat Services with Yom HaShoah
Observance April 18
10:30 am Shabbat Services including Bat
ECC enjoying Yoga Fridays.
Mitzvah of Karina Barth
Shabbat Tazria –Metzora, Leviticus 12:1 – 13:59 April 24
7:30 pm
Shabbat Services with
YomHaAtzma’ut Observance April 25
10:30 am Shabbat Services, Temple Sherith
Isreal Ridgefield, CT. No Shabbat
Services at JFC
Emily Wein, Rabbi Burstein, Cantor Katchko- Gray and Dr. Gray at our Pre-Pesach Wine Tasting.
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
From the Rabbi’s Desk Looking Past the Mud Rabbi Lawrence Kushner wrote in The Book of Miracles one of my favorite pieces focusing us on prayer. Kushner based his story on a midrash in Exodus 24:1, and I loved reading this prayer with Cantor Kerry on Friday nights at JFC, especially when a lot of children were present. Kushner wrote: When the people Israel crossed through the Red Sea, they witnessed a great miracle. Some say it was the greatest miracle that ever happened. On that day they saw a sight more awesome than all the visions of the prophets combined. The sea split and the waters stood like great walls, while Israel escaped to freedom on the distant shore. Awesome. But not for everyone. Two people, Reuven and Shimon, hurried along among the crowd crossing through the sea. They never once looked up. They noticed only that the ground under their feet was still a little muddy – like a beach at low tide. “Yucch!” said Reuven. “There’s mud all over this place!” “Blecch!” said Shimon. “I have muck all over my feet.” “This is terrible,” answered Reuven. “When we were slaves in Egypt, we had to make bricks out of mud, just like this.” “Yeah,” said Shimon. “There’s no difference between being a slave in Egypt and being free here.” And so it went, Reuven and Shimon whining and complaining all the way to freedom. For them there was no miracle. Only mud. Their eyes were closed. They might as well have been asleep. In many ways, our congregation feels right now like we are walking through the Red Sea (or more correctly, the Sea of Reeds). Although we are
still physically in our beautiful building on Smith Ridge Road in South Salem, psychologically it feels that we have already begun a long journey to a new land, with the possibility of combining our congregation with Temple Shearith Israel in Ridgefield, CT. No decisions have been made about our future, even as we figuratively travel in emotional, psychological, and probably-soonphysical ways to a new place. We can focus on the incredible amount of talent, devotion, energy, and promise of a stronger, larger, and healthier combined congregation -- or we can focus on the mud. In the days and weeks following Cantor Kerry Ben-David’s death and funeral, I experienced some of the best of our congregation. Countless people called, emailed, or stopped by to give me a hug or to check in to see how they could help both the congregation and me. The love and support came from near and far, current and former members, colleagues of Cantor Kerry’s and mine. Singing the prayers during shiva at the BenDavid home with scores of people actually shook the walls. I could not have been more proud of our community in the love that people shared as we supported each other, and I hope that we will all feel that same love in the future. I could have spent the last month wallowing in the mud; rather, I was blessed to feel the miracles of our community. Thank you. I know that it is too easy to only look at the mud. In the weeks and months ahead, we will grapple with challenges that will test our spirits and our determination. There will be no easy answers. Not seeing the “Promised Land” for some time may make us feel like we want to turn back, but we cannot. We will support each other until we reach the new land, finding new meaning and more. Along the way there will be both hurdles Continued on page 9
Presidents’ Message--------------Page 3
Ask The Rabbi-------------------- Page 7
Religious School-------------------Page 4
Rabbi Burstein’s Eulogy for Cantor
Early Childhood Center-------- Page 5
Kerry Ben-David------------------Page 10
Ritual Committee---------------- Page 6
3 Page Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road P.O.Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069
Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
From The Presidents
by Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin Co-Presidents’ Message
JFC’s exploration of the possibility of forming a union with Temple Shearith Israel (TSI) continues to make progress, but of course this month it has been email: office@jewishfamilycongregation.org website: www.jewishfamilycongregation.org conducted under the shadow of sadness cast by the death of our beloved friend and Cantor, Kerry Ben David. We imagine that each of us who has been ----------------touched by Kerry’s warmth, his generosity of spirit and his shining optimism, Rabbi and who has reveled in the glory of his sonorous voice, feels both a deep Marcus L. Burstein, D.Min. sense of loss but, at the same time, sheer gratitude for having known and been rabbi@jewishfamilycongregation.org touched by this gentle spirit. ---------------Director of Education Leslie Gottlieb lgottlieb@jewishfamilycongregation.org Administrator Kathleen Sakowicz ksakowicz@jewishfamilycongregation.org Early Childhood Center Director Jane Weil Emmer jemmer@jewishfamilycongregation.org -------------------Glenn Kurlander Co-President Hal Wolkin Co-President president@jewishfamilycongregation.org Josh Blum, First Vice –President Polly Schnell, Second Vice-President Robyn Cohen, Treasurer Suzanne Sunday, Secretary executive@jewishfamilycongregation.org Karen Conti, Trustee Jon Glass, Trustee Mindy Hoffman, Trustee Robi Margolis, Trustee Paul Storfer, Trustee Bonnie Wattles, Trustee Richard Mishkin, Ex Officio board@jewishfamilycongregation.org Shofar Editor Bryan Wolkin Shofar Printer Copy Stop Royal Press
Kerry was not deeply involved in the exploration of a union with TSI, but he very much wanted to be a part of it. We regret that, if we do come together to build a new synagogue, the congregants of TSI will now be denied the opportunity to know Kerry as we have. As Cantor, Kerry was charged with the preservation of all that is most important to us as a people. But not in a way that simply reveres or mummifies the past. Instead, as he did so brilliantly, his responsibility was continually to explore and interpret tradition, breathing new life into it while distilling its continuing relevance, seeing it through a prism that concentrated and intensified its light so that we would be continually surprised and delighted by that which could be new in something so old. As we reflect on all that is ephemeral and transitory in this world—which is to say everything—and what Kerry means to us, we realize that in a sense the motivation behind a union with TSI exemplifies all that Kerry stood for. At its heart the union is about preserving all that is most important to us as a community, but not in a way that simply entombs the past. It is about shaping what we and TSI have into something new; something we inspire (in the sense of the original meaning of that word—to infuse with life by breathing) and that inspires us; about achieving continuity, but in a way that creates something stronger, more vibrant and more sustainable; about drawing from the past, but reshaping it into something that provides for a richer and more meaningful future. If we all are successful in this enterprise, we can’t think of a more beautiful and lasting monument to Kerry’s memory. Zichrono liv’racha; may his memory be for a blessing. Those of us who are working on the exploration of a union, and the work that must be done to bring us together if that is the path congregants choose, continue to make progress. Here are some of the more important steps we’ve taken since we last wrote, and those we expect to take in the next month or so:
-The joint teams we and TSI have created for the purpose of the exploration of a union continue to meet and accomplish significant results.
Continued on page 8
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From the Religious School By Leslie Gottlieb
Plug into… Your Life! By Leslie Gottlieb
What does it mean to be present? My husband and I have been talking a lot about this lately because we both feel that despite the blessings of living in a digital age—our smartphones, iPads and laptops have made us completely distracted. When it comes to relationships between children and parents, being connected to the world at all times may be making us less connected to the people we live with at home. We are rarely alone with ourselves anymore let alone other; we are rarely present in the moment anymore. An interruption is always a possibility these days—even in the classroom—although at Religious School we do not seem to have this issue. In the article, The Sacred Act of Unplugging: For Our Kids, For Ourselves, writer Tanya Schevitz discusses the parenting piece in the context of the National Day of Unplugging. She writes…
she’s on her phone and she doesn’t even look up.’ Another teen told me, ‘My dad will just ignore me when I’m trying to talk to him. I don’t think it’s intentional. He’ll be on his email or on Facebook, and there’s just a big silence when I say something.’ Parenting experts warn that pervasive digital distractions are harming interpersonal relationships, hindering youth from developing face-to-face communication skills. They say parent behavior is teaching children that disappearing into digital devices for endless hours is an appropriate pastime. A 2014 study by UCLA researchers found that sixth graders who spent five days screen-free were better at reading facial expressions and nonverbal cues of human emotion at the end of the period than classmates who used smartphones and watched television or other digital screens.
“We are a generation of helicopter parents. We’re always with our children – at the soccer practices and games, at the school performances, on the field trips – but we aren’t actually present. We’re on our phones. A reporter I talked to about the upcoming National Day of Unplugging (March 6-7) said that she can remember her mom sitting with her back to the kids while tied to the curly cord of the home phone, talking with her friends. We agreed, tough, that the difference then was that that phone couldn’t accompany her mom everywhere she went; when she left the house, she left it behind. Now our phones, email, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram go with us everywhere. As smartphones invade our daily activities, parents are increasingly less present for their children. In a study released in 2014, researchers observed 55 groups of parents and young children eating at fast food restaurants. They found that 72% of caregivers pulled out a mobile device right away and mostly ignored the children throughout the meal. It’s no wonder, then, that experts say that kids today feel second in importance to their digital devices.
Our ancestors created Shabbat, a day of rest, but for the most part, today’s society never seems to shut down. That’s why Reboot developed the National Day of Unplugging and its guiding project, the Sabbath Manifesto – with the recognition that everyone can benefit from reclaiming a day of rest and that the need to pause and refocus is universal. The day promotes not just one day of unplugging a year but a lifestyle change. The idea is to slow down life enough to regularly observe each of the 10 principles: avoid technology, connect with loved ones, nurture your Health, get outside, avoid commerce, light candles, drink wine, eat bread, find silence, give back). That could be on the traditional Jewish Sabbath or any other day of the week.”
‘When my mom is on her phone – texting or emailing or on Facebook – she doesn’t even talk to me,’ said one teen. ‘I’ll try to talk to her about important stuff but
I wish I could say that I totally unplug on Shabbat. I can’t. I strive to do this but I am not there yet. If there is one more important way for me to honor Shabbat,
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From The Early Childhood Center by Jane Emmer
Cantor Kerry Ben-David and the Early Childhood Center
Cantor Kerry brought joy and smiles wherever he went. During the past ten years Kerry visited the ECC with a smile and a plan. His plan was always the same: to share his wisdom and passion for life with his youngest fans.
Kerry often came to the ECC with his grandson, Baxter, and sang with us, played the keyboard and frolicked in our classrooms. Several years we had a book swap, and Kerry came to read stories and share his love of books.
Last year, Cantor Kerry visited us for Purim. He brought puppets and props to share the story of Purim with the ECC. He sang and told the story of the holiday as he engaged every student with enthusiasm and care. As we celebrated Purim this year he was sorely missed, but when thinking about Kerry wewcan’t help but smile.
Bring Happiness by Seema Chowdhury Spend less time in worrying about tomorrow, For life is a journey of joy and sorrow. So bring happiness along life's way, And learn this rule for yourself each day. And try to find its road through life, And learn more rules of joy to survive. For happiness is like a flowing stream, That emits joy's light like a beam. And give happiness to all who deserve, And know to bring others happiness love.
Cantor Kerry, you will be sorely missed. We loved you and will always cherish your happiness and smile.
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From The Ritual Committee By Michael Salpeter, Chair
As the deadline for this column approaches on the tenth day of each month, I spend a considerable amount of time deciding on what topic to share. As I approach March 10, I know I want to reflect on our late, beloved Cantor Kerry Ben-David. When I met Kerry 9 years ago, my first impression was that there was no way he could be as optimistic and upbeat as he seemed. Boy, was I wrong. Throughout our relationship, whenever we faced a difficult time at JFC, Kerry always reassured me that everything would work out, which most often it did. My next experience with Kerry was his masterful command of the world of music. He was able to change music on a weekly basis to help us explore the richness, depth, and breadth of ritual music. This experience then was followed by the great enthusiasm and polished operatic voice which completed the package. If you stood next to him while he was singing, you felt the air surrounding you vibrating with his powerful voice. He especially shone in the spotlight of the High Holy Days, with his phenomenal renditions of Shema Kolenu, Shalom Rav, and the great Aleinu, when he kneeled down so far he relied on my help to get back on his feet. Each week Kerry would ask detailed questions about my family – “What were they doing? How were they feeling? When was he going to see them?” – and whatever else crossed his mind. Inevitably he would volunteer to help us set up whatever was needed at any given service or event, even if we clearly did not require any additional help. There were two humorous incidents that I need to share with you. Several years ago about an hour before the Erev Rosh Hashanah service, we realized that the curtain for our portable ark was misplaced by the dry cleaner. Instead of the ark curtain, the hanger contained a linen and lace tablecloth. While we were panicking trying to figure out what we could do, Kerry quietly took the tablecloth that was on the dry cleaner’s hanger and somehow fashioned a curtain out of it. I guarantee that 90% of you reading this article never realized we were sliding a tablecloth across the front of the ark each time we opened it. Then, on the Second Day of Rosh Hashanah, Kerry appeared in the morning asking if anybody had seen his music book. Again rather than panic, he took one of the choir member’s music books and made copies of what he needed. Several months later a stranger appeared in the JFC office stating she had found a water-logged book with Hebrew writing in it while jogging along Route 123 and figured it must belong to us. Kerry had left his music book on top of his Jeep while getting in, drove away, and it flew off, landing alongside the road. Then there were those Friday evenings when Cantor Kerry would fill in when the rabbi was not present. He would inject his own style and flavor into the service – teaching us about what the words of the prayers meant – many times giving us too much information. I used to joke with Kerry before a service that we should try to finish before midnight. One of our congregants put it succinctly when he remarked that Kerry knew how to start a sentence, but did not always know how to finish one. While at the Ben-David home for the shiva minyan, I noticed that the kitchen was a microcosm of Kerry’s life. Just outside the window was that crazy RV that he was so proud of, driving it to Maine each summer. On the refrigerator were dozens of photographs, all of his family. My weekly conversations with him always included remarks about how proud he was of Sheera becoming a cantor, how remarkable Adam was as a conductor, and most of all details about his “real” job of babysitting for his grandchildren Baxter and Shadow. The final Friday evening we were together, I heard all the details of his trip to Disney with Batyah and Baxter which had just concluded less than 24 hours prior to Shabbat. He would state to me on a number of occasions that the “real” singer in his family was Batyah. He also would tell me that his son-in-law Steven was regarded as a son by him. On the wall of Cantor Kerry’s kitchen hung two old license plates which were completely appropriate – the first was MESHUGGAH. Kerry was, as Rabbi Burstein so aptly put it during his eulogy, a little eccentric, and the second license plate read KVETCHER, which Kerry clearly was not. Kerry was a complex person, yet it was not difficult to figure him out, as is the case with most complex people. Needless to say Kerry is missed by us all and will be missed for many years to come. On a personal basis I miss him dearly as a cantor and as a close and trusted friend. Shalom, my friend.
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Ask the Rabbi What is the difference between a tallit and a tallis? And what does it represent? The words tallit and tallis are the same word -- “tal-LEET” is the Sephardic pronunciation (the way Israelis speak Hebrew today) and “TAL-lis” is the Ashkenazic pronunciation (the way most of our grandparents spoke Hebrew, if they came from Eastern Europe or Russia). A tallit is a prayer shawl that Jews wear during the morning service each day. Traditionally, it was worn by a man after he married, but some liberal communities allow the tallit to be worn at and following a bar mitzvah ceremony. Since women are able to wear a tallit in liberal congregations, they can wear one at and following their bat mitzvah ceremony. A tallit was traditionally made from wool or linen; nowadays they can come in silk, cotton, or synthetic fabrics. Up until the last generation or so, the stripes on a tallit typically were black. Now many have blue stripes or come in beautiful colors and patterns. The Israeli flag is modeled after the tallit. Numbers 15:37-39 contains the laws for wearing a tallit: God spoke to Moses as follows: Speak to the Israelite people and instruct them to make for themselves fringes on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe at each corner. That shall be your fringe; look at it and recall all the commandments of Adonai and observe them, so that you do not follow your heart and eyes in your lustful urge. Rather than the tallit, it is the tzitzit, or fringes, that are most important -- reminding us to perform the commandments in the torah. A tallit katan -- literally a “small tallit” -- is sometimes worn by traditional Jews underneath their clothing. It is a type of undershirt that has fringes on the four corners. Rabbi Michael Strassfeld writes that a tallit “helps the worshiper create an environment conducive to prayer just by marking the time to worship in a physical way. At times it conveys a sense of being enveloped in the surrounding divine, while at other times it simply encloses us, helping us focus on praying. It is for the latter reason that some people cover the top and sides of their head with a large tallit to block out any distractions.” (p. 199, A Book of Life.) Most tallitot (plural of tallit) have an atarah, literally “a crown,” -- a decorated extra border worn around the neck. Sometimes the atarah has the blessing for putting on a tallit, other times it may be another famous Jewish phrase or even someone’s name. The tallit is only worn in the morning with two exceptions: Kol Nidre or Erev Yom Kippur, when it is worn at night; and Tisha B’Av, when it is worn only in the afternoon. A tallit is not worn to a funeral, nor in the cemetery. Because this ritual object reminds us to perform the mitzvot and a dead person cannot perform mitzvot, it is considered improper to wear a tallit around those who have died. Additionally, although it is traditional to bury a tallit with the deceased in the coffin, it is made invalid/ un-Kosher by having one of the fringes cut off.
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Continued from page 3 - Presidents Message
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o Leslie and the education team have met frequently to address the challenges of building a new religious school. They are working on matters such as scheduling, identification of teachers, tuition rates, curricula and other matters.
o The Governance Team has prepared a preliminary draft of a form of bylaws for a new synagogue.
o The Finance and Legal Team continues to refine financial projections of what a united synagogue would look like and to address the future dues structure for each membership category.
o The Integration Team has created a blog that will be used to share union-related news. o The Ritual Team continues to meet and make plans for weaving our traditions together, and have recently discussed b’nai mitzvah practices and high holiday worship.
o The leadership of both synagogues, working with a branding expert who is a member of TSI, have started to discuss strategies for identifying a name for a united synagogue. o Rabbi Burstein and Rabbi Reiner of TSI continue to create a vision of what the rabbinate of a united synagogue would look like, particularly from the perspective of the enrichment that two extraordinary Rabbis could bring to the combined community. o As we have previously noted, the clergy and lay leadership of the legacy synagogues decided that each would cancel its own Shabbat service from time to time and instead attend services at the other synagogue. On March 6, a joint service was held at TSI that was attended by 65 congregants. We’ve received strong feedback about these services, and additional opportunities have been placed on the calendar: on March 20, a Shabbat service jointly led by the clergy of both synagogues will be held at JFC. Joint services will give us the opportunity to begin to see the possibilities for a combined service. o As revelatory as we expect these services to be, in order to give JFC and TSI congregants an opportunity to get to know the Rabbi of the other synagogue on a more personal level, the leadership of both synagogues are working together to create more informal “meet and greet” occasions. You’ll hear more about these shortly. o Each synagogue’s standing ritual committee has met to plan joint celebrations of upcoming festivals, and a combined Seder on the second night of Passover will be held at TSI. o We are planning other shared events and celebrations to give the congregants of each synagogue the opportunity to get to know one another better. Continued on page 9
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Continued from page 2 - Rabbi’s Desk and hope, problems and promise, risk and renewal. Let us grasp hands together and remind each other to not look only at the mud, but at the miracles as well... Continued from page 4 - Religious School
being unplugged for its duration is one of my strongest goals. Working on Sundays at Religious School makes me feel that I need to check lesson plans filed by email and last minute teacher updates… but this can surely wait until the sun retires on Saturdays. When I think about another reason to unplug on Shabbat and for bigger blocks of time in my life—I think about our beloved Cantor Ben-David. As all who knew him know that Kerry was a giant of a man with a super-sized heart. He embodied sunshine. As Rabbi Burstein noted in his eulogy for Kerry, he would burst into a situation with excitement and stories-- and then quietly recede so that others could fill in the space. This made him unique. Kerry was so present whenever he was present. I can’t ever remember him distracted or too busy to focus on the moment. Kerry was always plugged into life. I want to be just like Kerry (z’l). I want to live in the moment all of the time. It seems we all need to create new rules in our lives for the use and inclusion of our electronic devices. We don’t need to wait for a power outage to find quiet time to actually be together. These days it’s getting more challenging to simply sit and read a book alone (my favorite activity) or to sit quietly to reflect on a situation— or the world. Our lives have become too much outside ourselves. Maybe we can all let Kerry and Shabbat help teach us how to let our own energy source be enough. That inner light and the light of Shabbat can brighten our lives beyond measure.
Continued from page 8 - President’s Message In short, the effort continues to move forward. If the Boards of the two legacy synagogues decide to recommend a union to their respective congregants, it is our hope that the congregations would vote on a plan sometime in May. Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin
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Eulogy for Cantor Kerry Ben-David By Rabbi Marcus L. Burstein Kerry Ben-David was a breath of fresh air, living his life with unbridled joy. Very few people can notice, feel, and then communicate the wonders of our world the special way that Kerry could. Filled with gratitude for the many gifts he had in life, Kerry enthusiastically shared those gifts with everyone he met. From the moment I met him, Kerry was all in, all the time. Intense and intuitive, proud and passionate, energetic and, yes, eccentric, Kerry’s presence filled wherever he was. Then – almost magically – immediately he receded into the background, allowing space for the other to shine. Caring, probing, and detailed questions would come one after the other – how are you? How was your week? Or trip? Or family? What do you think about the news, or what happened last week at services, or the possibility of trying this in the future? He listened intently and laughed intensely. Kerry’s easy manner and genuine and down-to-earth sensibility enabled him to connect to almost anyone, regardless of age or ability, status or standing. As a fellow leader of Jewish Family Congregation, what a blessing it was to share the bima with Kerry! He taught, encouraged, led, listened, shared, and, oh, how he sang! I would marvel at his musical talents and the depth of soul he could bring to our prayers and melodies. Several times in the midst of service, I would gleefully and jokingly share with the congregation something like, “We are so lucky that everyone here can benefit when our cantor shows off!” He knew how to linger on a note, a word, or a phrase. Cognizant of God’s gift to him, he used that gift to bring others closer to God. Paradoxically, one of the few character flaws Kerry had was his eagerness to please others. Even before I asked him if he might be able to lead a service or shiva minyan in my absence, he would offer to do so. Travel distances and times did not matter – he would be there. Reliable and trustworthy, the congregation and I could always count on Kerry. I would receive text messages
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from him at all hours of the day and night sharing his excitement when he could help someone, help the congregation, or help me. He wanted to make life easier and happier for others in any way he could. **Kerry’s Jewish journey inspired Jews and non-Jews alike, with his embrace of our religion and culture. Of course, that never precluded him from singing a traditional Hebrew prayer to O Danny Boy around St. Patrick’s Day or other such fun cultural mashups, but his incredible depth of musical knowledge only added to our Jewish music and tradition. I know that Kerry loved the way Judaism touches the soul and has the ability to change and improve our lives. Apart from his congregational duties and responsibilities, I enjoyed hearing stories of his constant acts of gimilut chasadim, helping here and there, or accompanying Batyah for some program, trip, or mitzvah at the Woodlands Community Temple. More than a career, Judaism was a way of life for him, Batyah and their family. In addition to his musical skill and talents, Kerry’s recent bout with cancer equally inspired others. He truly wanted the experience to teach him and make him a better person, so that he could connect more easily with others and encourage them in their struggles. Positive through his entire treatment regimen, he never complained, nor did he miss a single Shabbat service. Even when he felt a bit depleted from the medication, leading Shabbat worship gave him strength and purpose. Amazingly, he always sounded great. He wanted to make a recording of songs of healing and inspiration to those in cancer treatment, specifically with a picture of him bald on the cover of the CD case. Unfortunately, that was not to be. We all know of Kerry’s devotion to his family. He supported Batyah in a marriage of close to 45 years. He mentioned Adam and Sheera and his grandsons Baxter and Shadow almost every time we were together, and I know that he was very fond of his son-in-law Steven as well. They were the light of his life. Continued on next page.
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Kerry’s life ended too soon, but he was fortunate to end on a proverbial high note. Just before he died, he and Batyah took their grandson Baxter to Disney World, a trip that had been postponed before for a few reasons. Kerry loved spending time with his grandsons, and their trip was a time to get to know Baxter in a different way. He proudly shared stories and pictures of his trip with me last week before Shabbat services. Kerry’s very last moments were filled with everything he would have hoped for. After consoling a family in bereavement using the words and melodies of our tradition at a shiva minyan, Kerry concluded the service, returned to his car, and had a heart attack before starting the car. His life ended with three of his most cherished values – music, Jewish tradition, and helping others. My email inbox has been filled with countless emails from JFC congregants, colleagues, and even classmates of his from HUC who remembered conversations from decades ago that changed their lives. This spring our congregation was planning to celebrate the 30th anniversary of his ordination as a cantor, and some future event will take place in his legacy and memory. In last week’s torah portion of Terumah, we read that God says to Moses, “Tell the Israelite people to bring Me gifts; you shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart is so moved” or who are “generous of heart.” A few verses later we read the famous words: “V’asu li mikdash, April Oneg Shabbat Hosts April 3
No Shabbat Services, Erev Passover
April 10
Andrew and Allyson Rappaport Alan and Lisa Sheptin
April 17
Brian and Jillian Chipman Steven and Melissa Goodstein
April 24
David and Amy Fischer Eric and Meredith Rudin
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v’shachanti b’tocham. And let them make Me a sanctuary that I may dwell among them.” Cantor Kerry Ben-David was one of the most generous of heart people I have ever met. His gift to us was to build a special place in all of our hearts; there he will dwell for as long as we live. Zichrono livracha – his memory will surely be a blessing to all those who had the honor and joy of knowing him. Amen.
**(My remarks continued here at the funeral ceremony on Friday morning.) I wrote much more for today before I was asked to make my remarks extremely brief. I will be honored to share those words and thoughts with our congregation tonight at Shabbat services and at other future times when Jewish Family Congregation will honor the memory and legacy of our beloved cantor. Our co-presidents Hal Wolkin and Glenn Kurlander, the professional staff, and our entire congregation offer our deepest condolences to Batyah, Adam, and Sheera, Steven, Baxter, and Shadow. I, personally, will miss my friend and partner, colleague, confidant, and cantor. Zichrono livracha – his memory will be a blessing to all who had the honor and joy of knowing him. Amen.
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Long-time JFC member and teacher
Rona Salpeter
is available to help with: babysitting, house sitting, animal care—& all jobs requiring a loving caring individual! References are available upon request. Contact Rona at # 914-643-8176.
Easy ways to Support JFC Shopping at Amazon through Jewish Family Congregation website gives us a commission on all purchases. This is a convenient way to support JFC and a convenient way to shop. http://www.amazon.com/?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0&link_code=hom&tag=jewishfamil0e-20
Each time you shop at DeCicco Market, tell the cashier you are a JFC member before ringing up your order. JFC will receive a rebate from your purchases.
Thank You For Your Generous Support!
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
2015-16 Religious School Program Schedule
Grades K-6- One Day a Week Program Early Tuition Rate Deadline: May 15, 2015 – Online Registration Now Available
www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
Grades K-1: Thursdays 4:15-6:00 pm (includes service/music) or Sunday 10:15-12:00 pm (includes service/music) Grades 2-3: Thursdays 4:15-6:00 pm (includes service/music) Grades 4-6: Sundays 9:00 am-12:00 pm (includes service/music) Enrichment Day Option-Additional Class Meeting Day-Combined Grade Classes (includes service/music) Grades K-2, Wednesdays 4:15-6:00 pm Grades 3-4, Wednesdays 4:15-6:00 pm Grades 5-6, Wednesdays 4:15-6:00 pm Grade 7 (B’nai Mitzvah): 2 day-a-week program plus tutoring Wednesdays 4:15-6:00 pm (includes service/music) plus Sundays 10:15 am-12:00 pm (includes service/music) plus 24 half hour private B’nai Mitzvah tutoring sessions- arranged individually plus Additional attendance required at several Friday & Saturday Shabbat services Confirmation I & II: Weekly pizza dinner, Thursdays, Grades 8 & 9 - 5:30-6:15 pm Grade 8/Confirmation I Class (Confirmation is a 2 year program): Thursdays, 6:15-7:15 pm Grade 9/Confirmation II Class: Thursdays, 6:15-7:15 pm Student Mentor Program- SMP-Teaching Training Program: New Grade 9 (& up) students enroll Weekly assistant teaching participation (Sunday, Wednesday or Thursday) plus one only), Sundays 9:45-10:15 am
pedagogy class (year
Student Leaders Program- SLP- Grades 9-12 Individualized leadership/volunteer/aide opportunity Program participation to be arranged individually Grade 9 Mentors & Leaders: salaried positions/posts assigned individually, SMP students continue in grades 10-12 without instructional class to assist teachers or lead classes as instructors NFTY/NAR & BBYO Youth Groups (Grades 8-12) Each YG meets twice a month NFTY meets Thursdays, 7:15-8:15 pm following Confirmation I & II BBYO meets on Sundays, time TBD and runs independent of the Religious School Confirmation students are all YG members Grades 10-12: Post Confirmation (1X month), Tuesdays 6:15-7:30 pm
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Second Evening Passover Seder at Temple Shearith Israel Led by the clergy of both congregations Saturday, April 4, 6 pm $18/adult, $10/child 12 and under* Includes Passover ritual food, juice, soda, and paper goods. Each family brings a Kosher for Passover dish to share. Please let the office know by Friday, March 27 what you will be bringing and how many will be attending. office@jewishfamilycongregation.org 914-763-3028
Please observe the following guidelines: Must not contain bread, pasta, rice, or legumes. No dairy products can be used in preparation (as we will have meat at the seder.) If you drink wine, please bring your own. Wines must say Kosher for Passover.
*Consistent with JFC’s welcoming nature, we do not exclude participation because of financial need. Should you need financial assistance, please contact our treasurer, Robyn Cohen at robyncohen@optonline.net
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Roadside
Cleanup
Help us clean up Route 35 Sunday, April 12 - 9:15 am sharp Meet at Bagel Nosh Café at the Cross River Shopping Center
The cleanup is a rain or shine event so please dress accordingly.
Please wear bright colors if possible (we have a few orange vests but probably not enough to go around).
It is very important that all participants wear long pants and long sleeves. Hats are a good idea. Gloves (a heavy pair) are extremely important.
If any minors are participating their parents have to watch them carefully since Route 35 is a very busy road.
Since it has been approximately six months since we did this last and our section of Route 35 was spotless when we finished in October, there is quite a lot of trash along our route. It usually takes about 2 hours to complete the task.
Please RSVP to roadside@jewishfamilycongregation.org if you can participate. Please also encourage others to join us as well. This event is open to current and former JFC members.
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Almost There! Need by April 15 Operation Smile Toothpaste Drive* by Karina Barth
Hi everyone! Thank you all for your help with my Mitzvah project. My Bat Mitzvah is coming and I want to collect as many small toothpaste tubes as I can.
Dentists have been very generous with me. Ask your dentist for a donation, too!
Operation Smile’s medical volunteers perform free surgeries to repair cleft palates and facial deformities in less fortunate kids around the world.
They are in desperate need of small toothpaste tubes to give to the kids after surgery, to keep their teeth clean and show off their beautiful new smiles. We are very grateful for your donation. Thanks, Karina
* Toothpaste expiration date must be at least six months from now - October, 2015 or beyond.
Almost There! Need by April 15 Operation Smile Toothpaste Drive*
Come hear Jay Walker, founder of Priceline.
by Karina Barth
Jay Scott Walker is an American inventor, entrepreneur and chairman of Walker Hi everyone! Thank you all for your help with my Mitzvah project. My Bat Mitzvah Digital, a privately held research and development lab focused on using digital is coming and I want to collect as many small toothpaste tubes as I can. networks to create new business systems. Walker is also curator of TEDMED
since 2011, and a founder of Priceline.com and Synapse Group, Inc. A 1999 Dentists have been very generous with me. Ask your dentist for a donation, too!
Forbes profile of Walker questioned if he was "An Edison for a New Age," noting his reliance on patents as a business model. He is to a prolific inventor has been Operation Smile’s medical volunteers perform free surgeries repair cleftandpalates 719 U.S. kids utility patents as ofthe Juneworld. 25, 2013. Businessweek featured him and facial deformities in lessgranted fortunate around as one of the "Businessweek e.biz 25" in 1999.
They are in desperate need of small toothpaste tubes to give to the kids after surgery, to keep their teeth clean and show off their beautiful new smiles. April 22, 7:30 pm
We are very grateful for your donation. Thanks, Karina
Temple Shearith Israel, 46 Peaceable Street, Ridgefield CT 06877
* Toothpaste expiration date must be at least six months from now - October, 2015 or beyond.
This is a joint JFC Men's Group and TSI Brotherhood event
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Lest We Forget
Yom HaShoah Observance Holocaust Remembrance and Shabbat Service with the JFC Choir
Friday, April 17, 2015 7:30 pm Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road South Salem, NY 10509 914-763-3028
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Religious School S.T.A.R.S. Program Save the Date: Sunday, May 3!
Each student needs to attend the same number of services as his/her grade in order to attend the party on May 3 at 10 am. Get busy now and start attending Friday night services. Use your STARS sheet to keep track of the dates and/or sign in using the Big Binder in the Youth Lounge whenever you arrive for Shabbat. Call or email to say you’ll be attending!! STARS kids come from 10-11 am for all the fun they can fit in. From 11 am- 1 pm the entire school and congregation can join us but bring some spending money as this is our spring school fundraiser and we are counting on your support!
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
SPACE IS LIMITED: REGISTER BY APRIL 12TH!
TSI’S 5 ANNUAL MITZVAH DAY th
Sunday, May 3rd, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
Work on a team to help a local agency, individuals or TSI with a task (i.e. food pantry work, outreach to hospitalized children, gardening, crafts with seniors) Members and non-members of all ages welcome! Perform a mitzvah as a family, individual or for a bar/bat-mitzvah! Schedule:
12:00 - 12:30 (after Sunday school): Pizza kick-off and mitzvah assignments 12:30 - 1:00: Travel to work site /set up 1:00 - 3:00: Work 3:00 - 3:30: Travel back to TSI 3:30 - 4:00: Ice cream celebration and slide show of volunteers at work sites
Registration Required: contact Debbie Landzberg/Social Action Committee dlandzberg@gmail.com or 914-763-3199 IMPORTANT: Please be sure to provide us with the following information *Names of participants *Number of adults *Number of children *Ages of children *E-mail address *Telephone number *Special skills/interests *Limitations
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Join us as Jewish Family Congregation pays tribute to our educators, Friday, May 8, 2015 7:30 pm.
JFC Religious School Teacher Recognition Shabbat
Jewish Family Congregation is blessed to have an incredible staff of dedicated teachers. Our teachers work each week to instill a love of Judaism and Israel in our students that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. Please join the congregation in honoring our teachers at as we offer them a special blessing. Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, South Salem, NY www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Save The Date!
Spring Gala
JFC and TSI join together for a fabulous evening! Music, fun, friendship and silent auction Saturday, May 16, 2015 7:00 - 10:00 pm Temple Shearith Israel Event invitation to follow
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Shavuot 5775 Join us as we celebrate Shavuot on Saturday, May 24 at 10:30 am at Jewish Family Congregation Members of Temple Shearith Israel will join us
We look forward to having you be part of this special service.
Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, South Salem, NY 10590 www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Confirmation 5775 Join us for Shabbat and Confirmation Services Friday, May 29, 7:30 pm As we will honor our confirmands
Ally Andrade, Aaron Cohen, and Wynter Schnell Each will share a few thoughts on this special occasion.
Festive Ice Cream Sundae reception to follow
Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, South Salem, NY 10590 www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Donations Early Childhood Center Fund Julie and Francisco Rendon Allyson and Andrew Rappaport Jennifer Castelhano General Fund Norman Alexander in honor of Carole Ruth Alexander David and Amy Fischer in memory of Eugene Kahn David and Amy Fischer in memory of Cantor Kerry Ben-David Jeff Berg and Debra Paget in memory of Cantor Kerry Ben-David Robi Margolis in honor of Michael Salpeter receiving the Julian Bernstein Distinguished Service Award Rabbi Discretionary Fund Norman Alexander in memory of Carole Ruth Alexander Religious School Discretionary Fund Ruth and Harold Ossher in memory of Eugene Kahn Donations made after the tenth of the month will appear in next month’s Shofar.
Anniversaries Warren & Karen Lustig
Jack Wilson & Marjorie Schiff
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Don’t forget to stop in and check out the JFC Gift Shop! If you are interested in purchasing anything, please let us know in the JFC Office.
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
MB TUTORING Hundreds of students helped to excel
Malcolm Brown MIT Chemical Engineer B.S., M.S.
Prep
• SAT, PSAT & ACT
Math
• 7th & 8th Grades • High School sequence • Calculus
Science • Chemistry Physics • Earth Science For further information, contact: Telephone: (914) 533-5468 E-mail: malcolmbro@aol.com Registered State tutoring. Serving Westchester and Fairfield
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Birthdays Neil Alexander David Amerling Dr. Paul Amerling Alexandria Andrade Richard Auerbach Avery Baum Lily Bender Richard Carter Cyndi Dodes Adam Cohen Evy Drawec Ellen Elias
Lauren Fried Carly Goldstein Max Goodstein Lawrence Gottlieb Maci Reba Greenspan-Andujar Rachel Kalter Sarah Kaplan David Kurzweil Dr. Rita Landman Alison Lustig Marlee Lustig
Harrison Mazlish Ike Radin Andrew Rappaport Allyson Rappaport Jack Shapiro Samantha Shulman Julia Sklarin Jessica Stark Zachary Stark Paul Stevelman Miriam Wilson
Yahrzeits Eleanor Aufsesser
Ramon Garay
Esther Oks- Ponczyk
Abraham Belsky
Phyllis Goldfield
Joshua Ponczyk
Bernard Benjamin
Lillian Gordon
Anne Elizabeth Raynor
Mary Benjamin
Harlan Hettmansberger
Thelma Reichenthal
Mickey Conn
Mary E. Keleher
Emmy Sternberger
Arnold Eydenberg
David Leitner
Lisa Stoll
Murray Fischberg
Rose Leitner
Barbara Traynor Stoll
Nathalie Fried Alexander
Arthur Margolis
Fay Goodman Weisberg
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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Non Profit Organization Postage PAID White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022
Youth Group assembles gift bags for Developmentally Disabled Seder Service.
Current Resident Or
Upcoming Events Saturday, April 4 Sunday, April 12 Friday, April 17 Friday, May 8 Saturday, May 16 Sunday, May 24
Second Evening Passover Roadside Clean Up Yom HaShoah Teacher Recognition Shabbat Spring Gala Shavuot Service
Make sure to check out our calendar for up to date events at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org