November 2014 Shofar - Cheshvan/Kislev 5775

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Jewish Family Congregation www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

November Shabbat Service Schedule Shabbat Lech Lecha, Genesis 12:1 – 17:27 November 1

10:30 am

Shabbat service

Shabbat Vayera, Genesis 18:1 – 22:24 Youth Group making a giant apple for Rosh Hashana.

November 7 7:30 pm Shabbat service New Member Welcome Free babysitting Shabbat Chaye Sarah, Genesis 23:1 – 25:18 November 14 6 pm

Tot Shabbat

7:30 pm Shabbat service Featuring Grade 6 November 15

10:30 am

Shabbat service

Shabbat Toldot, Genesis 25:19 – 28:9 Enrichment class and their sticky project.

November 21 7:30 pm Shabbat service Free babysitting November 22 10:30 am Shabbat service including

Bar Mitzvah of Sebastian Wallach Shabbat Vayetze, Genesis 28:10 – 32:3 November 28

High Holiday Food Drive.

7:30 pm

Shabbat service

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

From the Rabbi’s Desk Jewish Connections across the World This past summer, Eric and I had the chance to travel to Turkey for vacation. Turkey was towards the top of our dream vacations, and we thought that this past summer would be a good chance to visit. When we made our plans early in the year, we had no idea what the political situation of the world would be. Luckily, we felt very comfortable there and did not see or experience any anti-Semitism. (I did refrain from wearing my kipa in public though, and stuck with a hat...)

For hundreds of years, Turkey has been home to Jews and significant parts of our history. It was fascinating to learn about the incredibly rich depth and diversity of the Jewish community there -- from ancient times until today.

On Sunday, November 23 at 9:15 am during Religious School, I will share some pictures and stories of our trip with our congregation. Please join me in our sanctuary for some stories, photographs, and history of some places and events of Jewish interest in Turkey. No RSVP necessary.

When traveling, whether domestically or internationally, I make it a point to visit sights of Jewish interest -- either historical or current-day sights. Here are a few websites that can help you find Jewish-interest sights when you travel.

To find a liberal (Reform or Conservative) congregation while traveling outside the USA, check the World Union for Progressive Judaism’s website: http://wupj.org/Congregations/Overview.asp Jewish Discoveries is a travelogue of Jewish contemporary life around the world by Harry Wall. www.jewishdiscoveries.com To find a Reform congregation in the USA and Canada, check the URJ’s list of congregations: www.reformjudaism.org/find-a-congregation You can also find several Jewish museums around the world here: www.science.co.il/Jewish-Museums.asp Of course, I love hearing about your Jewish experiences when you away from home. Please be sure to share them with me when you return, or ask for suggestions before you travel.

Wishing you safe travels, and remember the camp song… “Wherever you go, there’s always someone Jewish…”

Presidents’ Message--------------Page 3

Ritual Committee---------------- Page 6

Religious School-------------------Page 4

Social Action ----------------------Page 7

Early Childhood Center-------- Page 5

Ask The Rabbi-------------------- Page 8

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Jewish Family Congregation 111 Smith Ridge Road P.O.Box 249 South Salem, NY 10590 Phone: (914) 763-3028 Fax: (914) 763-3069

From The Presidents

by Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin Given the important content of our Yom Kippur presentations, we felt that reproducing them in full in this column would provide members the opportunity to consider our comments in the comfort of their own homes.

email: office@jewishfamilycongregation.org website: www.jewishfamilycongregation.org ----------------Rabbi Marcus L. Burstein, D.Min. rabbi@jewishfamilycongregation.org Cantor Kerry Ben-David cantor@jewishfamilycongregation.org ---------------Director of Education Leslie Gottlieb lgottlieb@jewishfamilycongregation.org Administrator Kathleen Sakowicz ksakowicz@jewishfamilycongregation.org Early Childhood Center Director Jane Weil Emmer jemmer@jewishfamilycongregation.org -------------------Glenn Kurlander Co-President Hal Wolkin Co-President president@jewishfamilycongregation.org Josh Blum, First Vice –President Polly Schnell, Second Vice-President Robyn Cohen, Treasurer Suzanne Sunday, Secretary executive@jewishfamilycongregation.org Karen Conti, Trustee Jon Glass, Trustee Mindy Hoffman, Trustee Robi Margolis, Trustee Paul Storfer, Trustee Bonnie Wattles, Trustee Richard Mishkin, Ex Officio board@jewishfamilycongregation.org Shofar Editor Bryan Wolkin Shofar Printer Copy Stop Royal Press

JEWISH FAMILY CONGREGATION CO-PRESIDENTS’ PRESENTATIONS – YOM KIPPUR 2014

By Hal Wolkin: Good morning - - I am Hal Wolkin. My wife, Laurie and my son, Bryan have been a members of JFC for 24 years. In that time, Laurie has served JFC in many ways including as a member of the Board and as Co-President and I have served on various committees and, years ago, on the Board. I was invited to rejoin the Board about 3 ½ years ago as Treasurer and was subsequently elected Co-President with Glenn.

It is a privilege to serve JFC along with Glenn and the other members of JFC’s Executive Committee and JFC’s Board of Trustees.

Welcome to all of you who are members of JFC and to our guests who have chosen to observe Yom Kippur with us.

Those of you who were here last year may remember that these were the introductory words spoken, at that time, by my wife who stood here in my place and read my speech.

That speech spoke of how special it is to come together as a community year after year under this tent and about the importance of community. The speech moved on to the subject of transition - - at that time, it was the transition associated with having Rabbi Burstein join our community.

It is now a year later and our knowledgeable, energetic, creative, warm and caring Rabbi has been with us for 15 months. - - - - And what an enormous contribution he has made toward helping us to adapt to change.

As I look back upon those 15 months, it seems to me that our collective success in implementing change was linked directly to our willingness to accept that change.

The High Holy Days are in part about change and it therefore seems appropriate to share my perspective on the subject of change.

We might all agree that change is not easily accepted and that change can be exceptionally challenging to implement. - - - - Notwithstanding, the world around us is changing at a very rapid pace and those organizations that do not adapt will cease to be relevant.

So what does any of this have to do with the High Holy Days?

The High Holy Days are about moving from the past into the future, from one year into the next while recognizing that, as individuals, we alone do not determine our future.

Therefore, at this time each year we engage in prayer with the hope that this will help to provide for a favorable transition from one year to the next.

While we may not control our destiny, not even in the year ahead, we can help to manage our destiny, by helping to manage change, and by working to accept change.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

From the Religious School

By Leslie Gottlieb

Cheshvan, or Marcheshvan—its full name and the second month of the Hebrew year-- is a quiet one boasting no holidays or fasts whatsoever. The Mar in the name of the month has been translated to mean bitter—and since there are few things in Judaism that are accidental or serendipitous, maybe the idea behind a month with no festivities, therefore bitter, was a good idea after so much hoopla found in the preceding month. This becomes another opportunity then for reflection and even rumination, a time to hear one’s own heart beating amidst the beauty of the autumn season in this part of the country.

The third yarzheit for former JFC students, Molly and Gregory, and their mother Amy occurred on October 18 and it was Tishrei 20, on the Hebrew calendar-- but somehow I always think it happened during Cheshvan because the enormity of the tragedy unfolded while the months were about to change places. Cheshvan was a relief that year because it gave all of us a span of time to grieve. The memorial at JFC in memory of the children created and installed by former JFC student and mentor teacher, Noah Sklarin, was dedicated in the spring of 2013. It is a sight/site to behold. To be honest, when the news was released only weeks ago that JFC and TSI in Ridgefield were/are considering a collaboration at their site, most likely, the first thing I thought of was of the memorial and how we would preserve it and the memory of the victims of the crime that stole their young lives.

In the machzor we read from during the High Holy Days, a ten day period of time that has so much presence in our lives until the intensity of it vaporizes and recedes the very day it ends—we read many provocative passages that still haunt us all year long. One Yizkor reflection is titled, Shall I Cry Out in Anger? Some of it reads as follows…

Shall I cry out in anger, O Gd,

Because Your gifts are mine but for a while?

Shall I forget the blessing of health The moment it gives way to illness and pain?

Shall I be ungrateful for the moments of laughter, The seasons of joy, the days of gladness and festivity?

When a fate beyond my understanding takes from me Friends and kin whom I have cherished, and leaves me Bereft of shining presences that have lit my way Through years of companion and affection, When tears cloud my eyes and darken the world, And my heart is heavy within me, Shall I blot from the mind the love I have known and in which I have rejoiced?

The reading concludes with this powerful verse…

Those I have loved, though now beyond my view, Have given form and quality to y life, And they live on, unfailingly feeding My heart and mind and imagination.

Molly was in grade five and Gregory in grade 3 when they were taken from us. Molly had Jamie Kaplan and Ellen Elias for teachers that year at JFC-- and Gregory was taught by Ruth Ossher. Amy had been in to see me just a few months earlier to talk about the children and what I needed to know now that the family was soon to experience the impact of a culminating divorce proceeding. She even extended an offer for me to become a writing tutor in the business she ran with one of her dear friends. We wandered into the upstairs kitchen at JFC and I can’t remember why that was exactly. Did I offer her some tea

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

From The Early Childhood Center

by Jane Emmer

We have been very busy at the ECC this fall. It has been magical to watch the kids form a vibrant learning community. We learned about all of our fall holidays. We started our community Shabbat celebrations. We sang, we played, we cooked, we helped each other settle in to a great new routine for our school.

We took our first field trip of the year to Gossett Brother’s Nursery. We enjoyed a hayride, toured the big trucks, picked our own pumpkins from the pumpkin patch and had a rollicking good fall time. We snacked in the Sukkah, sang with Rabbi Burstein, and cooked each Friday morning. We enjoyed mystery readers and weekly trips to our library. We are looking forward to our Thanksgiving feast later this month.

Recently, on several occasions, I have been asked the question: How do Common Core standards affect us at the Early Childhood Center? This is a concern that is being talked about throughout the education community, and it is something we struggle with when planning and working with our young learners.

The common-core standards are calibrated to ensure that students leave K-12 schools ready for work and college. We need to help children be ready for success in kindergarten and beyond, however we cannot ignore what we know about child development and the needs of our students in their earliest days of school.

We continue to place a high value on play, the arts, social skills, and integrated instruction. These standards appropriately recognize the important social, communication, and self-regulation skills that are critical for kids’ learning.

There’s no doubt that what goes on in our early-childhood program needs to be informed, shaped, and aligned with kindergarten expectations, however we must keep in mind and have our curriculum shaped by knowledge about child development.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

From The Ritual Committee

By Michael Salpeter, Chair

Meditation – what is it? In order to answer this question I perused Wikipedia and – to no surprise – there was quite a long definition and description of this term. Some of what I gleaned from this site was that it generally incorporated self-regulation of the mind, and that there were numerous ways in which to accomplish this task. The article then went on to delineate methods of meditation both in religious circles and in non-religious settings. Meditation is a prominent component in both Kabbalah and Chassidic Judaism.

With that in mind, the Rabbi and the ritual committee introduced a music and meditation service prior to the Yom Kippur afternoon service. Present were about 50 attendees, along with five congregants who performed their musical compositions. In addition, a booklet containing poems and meditative readings were distributed to all – those present were encouraged to contemplate on these readings on their own, if they desired. Personally, I found it better to close my eyes and focus on the music only.

The five musicians who contributed were from different corners of our congregation – we had a physician playing violin, an attorney playing cello, a pre-bat mitzvah young woman playing violin, a teenage young man playing both guitar and cello, and a professional musician playing original music electronically and singing powerful, original lyrics. Both the appropriateness of the selection of the pieces by the performers and their emotional performances led to an atmosphere where those attending could “zoneout” and focus on their inner self.

At the conclusion of the service there was a consensus among those who were present that the goal of establishing an environment where, after a long day of prayer and fasting, one could focus on our inner self was achieved. The members of the ritual committee would like to hear input relating to this service and hope to incorporate your feedback, along with any additional thoughts you may have, into our lineup of services in the future.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

From the Social Action Committee

By Debbie Lavin

Please see page 19 for information about our upcoming Midnight Run on Saturday, December 6. We have scheduled our Blood Drive for November 11. We will need volunteers to donate blood! Plus, we will need help notifying previous donors by phone, email, or written cards. We will also need help putting up posters in the surrounding towns the week before. This is also a great Mitzvah project for a B’nai Mitzvah student.

All volunteers, please send email to DebbieLav@aol.com

Babysitting is available for children 8 and under on the first and third Friday of the month from 7:30 - 8:30 pm. Please contact the office with any questions or to sign up.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Ask the Rabbi A Few thoughts about “Reform Kashrut” I was recently asked by a member of JFC about how and if Reform Jews are expected to follow the laws of Kashrut, or Jewish Dietary Laws. This is a complicated question, because Reform Jewish practice has changed significantly throughout the past 200 or so years. I will begin with a very short overview and history of the expectations of keeping kosher and how that plays out in today’s world.

The torah has several laws that form the basis of kashrut. The word “kosher” means something that is fit, proper, or correct. In Yiddish, something that is not kosher is “treif,” which comes from the Hebrew word “t’reifah,” meaning torn (as from a living animal); this refers to foods that are either inherently forbidden or unacceptable because of incorrect preparation.

We cannot eat an animal that has died a natural death, nor can we eat anything that is torn from a live animal.

The two most sweeping categories of laws of kashrut deal with animals that are permitted and prohibited for human consumption, and the commandment “not to boil a kid in its mother’s milk” (Ex. 23:19; Ex. 34:26; Deut.

14:21). There are other laws as well.

Just like all laws in the torah, modern observance of the torah’s laws is influenced by almost 2000 years of interpretation through the rabbis. The commandment not to boil a kid in its mother’s milk has been interpreted to mean that Jews should never mix milk and meat products together. This has led to the practice of some Jews keeping two sets of dishes and silverware, so as to not mix milk and meat products.

The original Reform Jews of the early 1800s needed to make bold statements and to change their observance of Judaism significantly to distinguish themselves from other Jews. In effort to fit in with their non-Jewish neighbors, these Reform Jews rejected any traditions that would make them appear different. Among other changes in religious practice, this meant that their hairstyles and clothing would be similar and their eating practices would be similar.

One infamous event that took place at the first rabbinic ordination ceremony at Hebrew Union College in Cincinnati in 1883 was called “The Trefa Banquet.” At this celebratory dinner attended by over 200 people, the menu included clams, crab, and shrimp, as well as cheese and ice cream for dessert after the meat meal. Several guests immediately left, and the event went down in history as Reform Jews entirely rejecting the laws of Kashrut. Because of this event, some think that no Reform Jews keep kosher, which is an incorrect assumption.

Within the last 30 years, many Reform Jews have returned to the traditional laws of kashrut, and there are several reasons for that. One main reason is that the Reform Movement is the new home of Jews who grew up in a more traditional Jewish background. Their families may have kept a kosher home, and they continue these traditions. The other reason that Reform Jews eat kosher or keep a kosher home is because it is a way to express their Judaism each and every day. As Reform Jews, there can be many levels of keeping kosher -- from strictly following the traditional rules to simply saying a blessing before eating. Some Jews maintain a kosher home so as to be welcoming and sensitive to more observant Jewish relatives and friends. Some keep “kosher style,” which would not mix milk and meat products, nor would include the eating of prohibited foods. Some Jews feel that being vegetarian is an expression of their understanding of keeping kosher, and some feel that eating local and/or organic products is a modern interpretation of keeping kosher.

Because this is a complicated and personal topic, I would be happy to answer any further questions you may have -- please feel free to contact me. I look forward to sharing stories and recipes together.

And one quick advertisement… come join JFC for some kosher, Middle Eastern specialties as we cook together on Saturday, November 15 as part of the Judaism and the Five Senses programs. It will be fun and delicious!

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Change can be a positive experience, if we put our minds to making it so. If we can imagine something new and fresh, something extraordinary, and work to make it happen, we can realize that which we imagine.

Change can be exciting and dynamic and can provide for new opportunities but only if one believes!

One need only focus upon the possibilities and work to achieve them and while the work can be hard, it can be done.

So, as we move toward the final hours of Yom Kippur, I ask that you do more than pray for a sweet New Year. I ask that you make a pledge to yourself to search for the opportunities that change will present AND I ask that you become active in helping to implement the kind of change that can enhance our community, providing for greater vitality, greater diversity, and greater stability.

Together we can continue to build community. - - - - The opportunity is before you. You can each make a difference - - - - All you need to do is imagine and believe that change can lead to something better.

As we shaped the last 15 months with the spiritual leadership of Rabbi Burstein, we can join together to shape the future of our community. I invite you to join Rabbi Burstein and JFC’s lay leaders AND to join those who have already volunteered to guide our community to a better future. You owe it to yourselves to do so.

Thank you.

By Glenn Kurlander: Good morning. I’m Glenn Kurlander, also co-president of JFC. Welcome, everyone, and thank you so much for worshipping with us today as honored members and guests of the JFC community.

Hal has talked very movingly about change, and I want to continue that discussion. And I also want to talk about hope—my hopes for JFC’s future. I want to emphasize that I’m not speaking for the Board this morning, but only for myself.

I recognize that my thoughts and hopes may not be yours, and my goal isn’t to convince you that they should be. I simply want to explain what I’m thinking and hoping.

The change I want to talk about is the possibility of uniting with Temple Shearith Israel, our reform congregation neighbor 2 and a half miles to the north. In other words, to be blunt, I want to talk about changing JFC, notwithstanding how remarkable and special it already is.

And one of the hopes I want to talk about is the hope that, after JFC completes its exploration, and we’re finished with the analysis and discussion and debate, we will decide that the best path for JFC is to come together with TSI, as entirely equal partners, to form a new congregation.

I say we will decide, because it’s clear that ultimately any decision whether to pursue a union must be made by the congregation— by the members of JFC. That’s all of us. Hal and I, of course, don’t decide, and the Board doesn’t decide. Only the congregation, together, has the power to decide.

A number of us who have spoken to the congregation during this year’s Rosh Hashanah services have already referred to our discussions with TSI—a subject that I actually thought would be the elephant in the tent. It demonstrates how supportive JFC is that so many of us felt comfortable raising what is for some a very sensitive, perhaps an even troubling, topic. And I’m especially proud that we were able to listen respectfully and compassionately, even if some of us didn’t especially like what we were hearing.

Hal and I first began talking about the possibility of joining JFC with another congregation several years ago, even before I became a board member. I believed then that JFC was not on a sustainable path, and that continues to be my view. But when I first began thinking about the prospect of a union, I thought that joining with another congregation was probably necessary, but it wasn’t desirable, and that if there were a way to achieve long-term financial stability, it would be better to remain independent. In that respect, my views have changed. Over time, I’ve come to form the belief that joining with another congregation presents significant opportunities. It isn’t the lesser of all evils; it may actually be desirable. It may even be preferable to remaining independent, even if independence were possible. I acknowledge that some of you may think this is a radical view, but that genuinely is my belief. Here’s why.

Years ago, when I first thought about the possibility of joining JFC with another congregation, my vision was a very traditional one—one that I would describe today as cramped and reductive. I thought that we needed a union because we had to achieve

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

the economic efficiencies that a union could provide.

But I see now that a union doesn’t need to be about cost-cutting and achieving economies of scale. It doesn’t need to be about diminution. We can, and I hope we will, create a different model. While the financial case for bringing JFC and TSI together is extremely compelling, that’s not what excites me. Instead, what excites me is the possibility of creating a synagogue that is more robust, more diverse, more vital and more impactful than either synagogue could be in isolation. A synagogue that is led by two inspiring rabbis, whose different but compatible perspectives and uniquely additive strengths offer the opportunity for enhanced spirituality, more varied worship styles, more plentiful and diverse adult education. A union that ultimately provides for a deeper and more meaningful expression of Jewish identity. And a vastly stronger Jewish community in Westchester and Fairfield counties. One that doesn’t just tenuously hang on, but is strong and enduring.

Personally, I find that vision extremely compelling. And that’s why I hope that, at the end of the exploration we’ve only recently begun, it will be obvious to us that a union of JFC and TSI is the best path forward.

We’ve actually been talking about change at JFC for quite some time now. Last year, on the morning of the first day of Rosh Hashanah, in the context of discussing the change we were making in rabbinical leadership, Rabbi Burstein referred to William Bridges, one of the leading experts on change, who observed that there were three stages people needed to go through in making a successful transition: the ending, the neutral zone and the new beginning. Bridge’s paradoxical insight was that when we go through transition, we actually begin with the end. In order to change, to move through the process of transition successfully, we first have to let go of something.

And so I think we need to acknowledge to one another that, if we ultimately decide that a union of JFC and TSI is the right result, there will be an ending of sorts. And with that realization, many of us will feel a sense of loss, perhaps even grief. Some of us may feel that already. I think it is important to acknowledge such feelings, whether they arise now or down the road, if we ultimately decide to unite. I hope we will have the courage to listen with compassion and empathy if or when some of us give voice to feelings of loss or grief, and I hope we are able to work together to achieve healing.

If we decide to pursue a union, I think it is likely that we will also decide that TSI’s building should be the home of the new synagogue. If that comes to pass, it likely will constitute a profound loss for many of us. We have sweet memories of celebration and proud moments and glorious days spent in our beautiful building and this quirky tent, and it will be very hard for some of us to say goodbye. But many of us raise our families in a home we come to love and cherish at least in part because of the wonderful memories we’ve built there, until there comes a day when it’s time to move on. Even if we’re moving to something that seems better, the change nevertheless may be bittersweet. Yet we know we’ll build a store of precious memories in our new home, and the memories we hold dear today will still remain with us after we move. Most of us probably don’t see the move to a different home as a loss of our identity. Our home, as important as it is, isn’t us—it doesn’t define who we are.

In the same way, our building is not JFC; we are. We—those of us in this tent, and others who are unable to be with us today— we are the community we proudly and fondly call JFC. There was a JFC before we moved to this building. If, as a congregation, we move to a different home, we won’t lose our identity if we choose to preserve it. If we want, there can be a JFC in all the ways that matter most, even if we change physical homes, and even if a new synagogue has a new name that reflects the historic identities of each of the constituent parts.

At the same time, if the congregation decides to pursue a union, I’m sure there are many things about JFC that we’ll decide should not—cannot—change. For me, those are attributes such as our spirit; our warmth and informality; our lack of pretense; our friendships; our emphasis on song in our observances. There must be continuity regarding our Rabbi, our Cantor amd our Choir. We’ll want the excellence of our religious school and youth and early childhood programs to continue undiminished.

All of that, of course, if it happens at all, is in the future, but those are my hopes for the future. And you know the old saying: the best way to predict the future is to create it. There will be many opportunities in the next few weeks to express your own thoughts and hopes, your concerns and fears; to talk about what is most important to you and your family; what you believe we absolutely must preserve if we decide to make this change. And I hope many of you will take the opportunity to help create our future, whatever it may be, by serving on the committees that will be formed to carry the exploration and analysis further.

But talk of the future reminds me that while we may look to the future, we live in the present, and living in the present means that we have to do our best to continue to support JFC. In a moment, I’m going to turn things back to Hal to talk about our annual High Holy Days Appeal. If you haven’t made a pledge yet, please do so if your circumstances permit. If you already have made a pledge, thank you so much for your generosity. If you can, please consider increasing your pledge, as Deborah and I are doing this morning.

Thank you for your support, thank you for worshipping with us and thank you for listening. G’mar chatima tovah. May you be inscribed in the Book of Life for good. Shabbat Shalom.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Continued from page 4 for our meeting? It seems unlikely as it was summer. I distinctly remember her leaning her back against the counter under the window and the sun was pouring in around her—like a halo now that I picture it. Her legs were crossed at the bottom and she was so relaxed, so happy, actually. Who could know that she would only live a few short months beyond that meeting? How could we move on after learning that our beloved students and their mother were stricken from this earth in a flash of time—taken out of this realm by unspeakable violence.

After the incident, Westchester Magazine published an online article and the passage below was part of that feature.

To be sensitive to our readership, I have edited out some unfavorable words and phrases as many of our current students review The Shofar.

Amy was a beloved tutor for local high school students; her husband often could be seen playing with his children in the yard. The day before the incident, Molly had run a lemonade stand with her friend. A neighbor had yet to return a baseball glove that Gregory, an avid Yankees fan, had left behind at a birthday party on Saturday. The family was a regular at school events and parties; they cheered their children on when they played sports and often carpooled to synagogue. In a small, tightly knit community, it was inevitable that neighbors would know the couple was having problems, but no one anticipated the tragedy that unfolded.

Molly had Religious School the morning she ran her lemonade stand; she ran this stand with her buddy from JFC. The girls did not attend regular school with her and would always run to each other with delight when they met at JFC. We still have a Crayola marker box that bears the writing of Molly. Apparently, she told the world over how much she loved pie and wrote it on every surface she could find. The inside of the box of markers has her writing and a picture of a pie. “I love pie,” it reads. The lemonade stand was a success, I was told, and the girls exchanged friendship bracelets given to them by a neighbor who was having a tag sale at the same time. I like to think of that sunny day, a spectacular fall day that would, sadly, be Molly’s last good one—ever.

Gregory used to come to JFC running energetically-- always wearing a rawhide necklace that seemed to be—just a part of him. At JFC we get to know every student and the teachers, mentors, volunteers, parents and students become family members. It is no exaggeration.

The loss we all felt and feel is impossible to describe and efforts to keep the children and their mother in view throughout the years have been manifold. Last year the Religious School and the community of Newtown, CT, hosted a joint event that honored the children and their mother and the 26 victims from Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Nicole Hockley who lost her son that day spoke at JFC, and so did many others including the clergy from Newtown.

The youth choir from Newtown sang for us. On a cold day in mid-January, the building was warm with a sense of purpose and love.

We all need to stand up for gun safety so that we can save lives together. Thanks to our involvement with the Newtown Foundation and Newtown Action Alliance, we are trying to make a difference from the halls of JFC to the halls of D.C. I have been invited to the annual vigil for victims of gun violence (and domestic violence) to represent Molly, Gregory and Amy and to speak on their behalf at The National Cathedral on December 11, 2014. If the family cannot be there, I will step up to speak up so that these faces and all they stood for will never be forgotten. After our joint event, I created JFAB (Jewish Family Alliance for a Better-world) at JFC in their memory to help causes around the world. We have a great group of members who have supported many important issues. Everyone is welcome to participate.

In my office hanging above my window frame are four strings of bells. Our school became involved in Ben’s Bells, a kindness project to help those in communities suffering from tragedy. The bells are quietly hung in trees by volunteers of the organization for neighbors and friends to find, keep and display to act as a reminder that kindness can be a formidable tool to fight hate and violence. Every time the wind blows and these hand-made (by children, mostly) colorful ceramic plates and metal chimes collide, the sound comforts me and reminds me of the smiling faces of love who will never be gone as long as we remember them. Zichronam Livracha. May their memories be a blessing.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Don’t forget to stop in and check out the JFC Gift Shop!

If you are interested in purchasing anything, please let us know in the JFC Office.

Notes by

Nancy, Inc.

Nancy Silberstein Invitations and stationery at discount prices tel/fax: 914-232-0835 e-mail: notesbynancy@aol.com www.notesbynancyinvitations.com

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

MB TUTORING Hundreds of students helped to excel

Malcolm Brown MIT Chemical Engineer B.S., M.S.

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Science • Chemistry  Physics • Earth Science For further information, contact: Telephone: (914) 533-5468 E-mail: malcolmbro@aol.com Registered State tutoring. Serving Westchester and Fairfield

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Donations General Fund Peter Backus in support of Glenn Kurlander’s Fundraising Initiative Sebastien Djavadi in support of Glenn Kurlander’s Fundraising Initiative Molly & Gregory RS Scholarship Fund The Carter Family Rabbi Discretionary Fund Dolores Rodriguez in honor of Elyse and Heather Sherr’s B’Not Mitzvah Greg & Ginger Schwartz in honor of Jordan Schwartz’s Bar Mitzvah Religious School Director’s Fund Laurence Furic in memory of Sy Schreckinger

November Shabbat Oneg Hosts Date Host Family Board Host Description 11/7/2014 Greg and Ginger Schwartz Hal Wolkin New Member Sherry Levin Wallach Welcome 11/14/2014 Grade 6 and Jane Emmer Hal Wolkin Young Family Larry and Leslie Gottlieb Shabbat 11/21/2014 Kevin Brand Richard Mishkin Bar Mitzvah of Matthew and Julie Portnoy Sebastian Wallach 11/28/2014 Jon and Iris Glass Richard Bersch

Jon Glass

Anniversaries John Grzymala & Linda Lederman

Eric Sherr & Michele Auerbach-Sherr

Jodi & Tony Senese

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JFAB

Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Jewish Family Alliance for a Better-World Community Action Group

Community action group for parents, children, family and friends Monthly meetings at Jewish Family Congregation First meeting: Thursday, October 2, 4:30-5:00 PM Thursday meetings during RS will take place regularly for those interested!

Come to the meeting, share your thoughts and get involved!

How can we create a better world?

Become an upstander Prevent bullying Prevent anti-semitism & hate Build relationships with other communities Work with the Junior Newtown Action Alliance Work on gun safety issues Make social media safe for everyone

Adult Chairs: Leslie Gottlieb, Dawn Kessler, Karen Blum, Michele Auerbach Youth Chairs: Heather Sherr, Elyse Sherr (Adults & Teens Welcome to Join!!!)

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Please join us Friday Mornings for Shabbat Song and Snack With your toddlers and babies!

11:30 am -12:00 noon RSVP - 914-763-3028

Rabbi Burstein will lead us in song and Shabbat fun! We will all gather together in the sanctuary at JFC at 11:30 am. After singing we will enjoy a snack prepared for us by the children in the Early Childhood Center.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Presented by Mrs. Judi Arum Please Join us at the Sisterhood Fall Dinner Date: November 2, 2014 Time: 6:00pm Location: Bernards 20 West Lane Ridgefield, CT 06877 Cost: $40.00

Please RSVP: jfcsisterhood@gmail.com

Judi Arum was Executive Director of the Human Relations Institute for 13 years, which provided workshops for parents, teachers, administrators and business executives in all areas of personal and professional development. She also served as Vice President and Training Director for Synovate, a global marketing research firm, for 18 years. Synovate conducted qualitative, quantitative and syndicated research for Fortune 500 companies.

Judi is now retired and lives in Tarrytown, NY, with her husband, Michael. When not traveling, they love spending time with their nine grandchildren. Her daughter, Amy Fishkin, is a member of JFC.

Sponsored by JFC Sisterhood

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Judaism and the Five Senses

Jewish Cooking: Presented by Rabbi Burstein Touch Saturday, November 15, 6 pm Location provided upon RSVP

Jewish Cooking of the Middle East Learn, cook, and taste some of Rabbi Burstein’s favorite Jewish Middle Eastern recipes.

$18 per member, $36 per non-member For location and to RSVP contact the office by phone 914-763-3028 or by email office@jewishfamilycongregation.org by noon, Monday, November 10 Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, PO Box 249, South Salem, New York 10590

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Jewish Family Congregation Tot Shabbat Children’s Services Friday, November 14, 6 pm

Join us for 6 pm services followed by a light snack. Stay for 7:30 pm services. A celebratory reception hosted by our Grade 6 families follows the later service.

Shabbat Child Care- available first and third Friday of the month All families are welcome to Friday morning Shabbat Song and Snacks and Saturday Shabbat morning services.

Please check our calendar jewishfamilycongregation.org for exact times.

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Midnight Run Donate to the Homeless Saturday Evening December 6 Volunteers needed to make bag lunches and attend the run. We will meet at JFC. Please donate items from the list below: 

Warm coats



Men’s jeans and pants



Men’s sweatshirts and sweaters



Men’s long sleeve shirts



Men’s shoes and belts



New men’s socks



New men’s underwear



Backpacks



Blankets

Volunteers also needed to organize clothing during the months before.

Contact the Debbie Lavin with any questions or to volunteer. DebbieLav@aol.com

Toiletries: 

Toothbrushes



Toothpaste



Disposable razors



Washcloths

Jewish Family Congregation Please drop off donations to JFC before November 24 Collection Bin located in Hallway closet

PO Box 249, 111 Smith Ridge Road South Salem, NY 10509 office@jewishfamilycongregation.org www.jewishfamilycongregation.org

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Thursdays, 7:30 - 9:00pm October 30 - March 26 18 Sessions, $54

Eight local Rabbis teach the classes

A collaboration with the Upper Northern Westchester Kesher funded by the UJA-Federation of New York

Location: Rosenthal JCC Yorktown 2966 Crompond Road, Yorktown www.rosenthaljcc.org For more information: Cathy Deutchman, cathy@rosenthaljcc.org, 914-741-0333 To Register: www.rosenthaljcc.org/introtojudaism

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Birthdays Gail Ascher

Steven Goodstein

Joel Ossher

Evan Bender

Dr. Edward Gordon

Freddy Perlman

Liza Breslin

Dylan Gottlieb

Matthew Portnoy

Oliver Capece

Susan Greenberg-Shapiro

Harry Rosenhouse

Eve Chipman

Kenneth Hoffman

Rayn Schnell

Reyna Cohen

Leonardo Junquera

Maya Schwartz

Bobbie Cohlan

Aaron Kaplan

Aaron Shapiro

Evan Dodes

Joel Kaplan

Judy Vandervelden

Matthew Emmer

Felice Kempler

Sebastian Wallach

Amy Fischer

Harrison Lavin

Lindsay Waxman

Samson Robert Friedman

Sigal Leitner

Calvin Wein

Allen Gabor

Gary Levine

Miranda Wein

Nina Claire Gitlitz

Warren Lustig

Penelope Wein

Andrew Glass

Harold Ossher

Mira Zaslow

Jack Bergson

William Keleher

Sheila Ravitch Gitlitz

Morton Birnbaum

Arthur Klein

Rachel Rosenhouse

Mayer Blum

Ruth Kurzweil Rothwax

Betty Rubin

Howard Cohlan

Horst Leffkowitz

Marvin Schattner

Harry Firestein

Mordecai Lewittes

Freda Shuler

Helen Garfiel

Harriet Mazlish

Aaron Stillman

Hirsh Grossman

Joseph Victor Meister

Bernice Strauss

David Hoffman

Yale Ossher

Edgar Strauss

Yahrzeits

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Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Cheshvan - Kislev 5775/ November 2014

Non Profit Organization Postage PAID White Plains, NY Permit No. 9022

Yom Kippur Youth Service.

Current Resident Or

Upcoming Events November 2, Sisterhood Dinner November 7, New Member Welcome Shabbat November 11, Blood Drive November 14, Young Family Shabbat November 15, Judaism and the 5 senses November 23, Jewish History in Turkey

Make sure to check out our calendar for up to date events at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org