WOMEN’S PHILANTHROPY OF THE JEWISH FEDERATION OF THE LEHIGH VALLEY
Mussar expert spells out 4 musts for personal growth thing you do when no one else is around. “It’s low stakes,” she said. “Practice “The fact that God brought your skills when the stakes you into this world is proof are low so you’ll know what that you were needed.” That to do when the stakes are was how Ruchi Koval opened high. The mistake most of us her talk to the Jewish Federamake is we think the small tion of the Lehigh Valley’s moments don’t matter. The Women’s Philanthropy divibig deal is those are the pracsion about applying concepts tice.” of mussar, the ancient Jewish Friends are also critical. tradition of self-cultivation, to “It’s something the Torah one’s life. talks about many times,” If you weren’t needed, Koval said. She went on to the cofounder and associexplain that we choose friends ate director of Congregation “because they have value” JFX (Jewish Family Experiand that we need to put in ence) in Cleveland told the the time and effort to make audience, “there would have sure we choose good ones. been no purpose for you to “When you’re going to invest be created.” That leads each in a significant purchase,” she person to the question, “What continued, “you spend time is my unique purpose in this thinking about it and reworld?” searching it and making sure Koval based her presentait’s the right fit for you. What tion at the Chai Club ($180 the Torah is teaching us is that we should do the same thing with friends.” Loyal and helpful friends are a good investment in life. “If you have a person in your life who does you a big favor and makes you feel like you did them a big favor by letting them Beth Kushnick, outgoing Women’s Philanthropy president; Kimberly Valuntas, event cochair; Ruchi do you a favor,” Koval, speaker; Tracy Sussman, event cochair; and Lee Solomon, associate director of development.
By Carl Zebrowski Editor
level and up) dinner event, “Becoming the Best Version of Yourself,” on parts of her 2021 book “Soul Construction: Shape Your Character Using 8 Steps from the Timeless Jewish Practice of Mussar,” which itself is rooted in her two decades as a Jewish educator and leader of self-development groups. She listed four elements of effective self-improvement for the audience: self-awareness, practice, friends and mentor. “Self-awareness precedes everything,” she said. And you may not have it. “If you don’t have it,” she explained, “you don’t know that you don’t have it.” In that case, you’d need to rely on the insight of someone you trust. Of course that’s hard to do. “In real life,” she said, “we rarely solicit feedback. It’s too scary.” Practice comes next, the
Lion Behind the Pin
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which includes a velvet-lined case for the Lion pin, along with a letter, to be written by the owner, of what the Lion means to them. There is also an option to bequeath the pin to someone special, as well as information on endowing the pin for a future recipient. What a wonderful way to create a legacy, to impart meaning to future generations. It was not long before I came across an example of that very concept. While preparing for our May 18 Lion luncheon, where we launched the Lion Behind the Pin program, I came across an article called “Exploring My Identity with My Bubbe’s Lion of Judah Pin.” The author writes, “My Bubbe’s sense of purpose and self was tied to her connection with her local Jewish Federation, so she was quick to become a Lion of Judah. Because (she) didn’t work a paying job, her name was never on a paycheck and she never made co-worker friends. Instead she found an intellectual community with shared values and made a name for herself in a way that she was passionate about…. Now, glancing
at my late Bubbe’s Lion of Judah pin reminds me of this strong, feminist leader who did her part to contribute to her community.… My Bubbe taught me not only to wear the lion but to be the lion: empowered, confident, aggressive, protective and fearless.” This article is part of the Jewish Women’s Archive’s Rising Voices Fellowship and was written by Dodie Altman-Sagan, the granddaughter of Phoebe Altman z”l who lived in Easton and was a very active member of the Jewish Federation of the Lehigh Valley. I cried tears of joy when I discovered the connection, as Phoebe was such an important mentor to me when I moved to the Lehigh Valley, and I have such fond memories of her. Fast-forward to last week, when I had the honor of hosting our local Lions at my home for the luncheon. It had been quite some time since our local “pride” had gathered, and I thought that springtime presented the perfect opportunity to reawaken our sisterhood. Our Lehigh Valley Lions are an incredible bunch! They are not only loving, fun, smart and engaging women, but in 2022, their charitable donations amounted to over $580,000, almost a quarter of our annual
4 JUNE 2023 | HAKOL LEHIGH VALLEY
campaign. In a community of our size, that is quite an impressive feat. The room was abuzz with laughter and chatter and the warmth and camaraderie of old friends who had not seen one another in-person for a while. It never ceases to amaze me how powerful the bond of philanthropy is and how sustained altruism creates such strong friendships, connections and respect among women, even if they don’t one another on a regular basis. This natural and nurturing environment offered the perfect opportunity for me to introduce these special ladies to the Lion Behind the Pin program, and it was very well received and sparked a spirited conversation among them. I want to thank all the Lions of our Lehigh Valley community, not only those who attended the luncheon, but also those who were unable
she said with a smile, “keep that person in your life.” The fourth and last element is mentor. A mentor is different from a friend. A friend is your equal, while a mentor is someone you consider more experienced and wiser than yourself. “A mentor can give you advice that a friend cannot,” she said. She continued that this is what a business is doing when it elects its leadership. “By the way,” she said as though speaking to a hypothetical mentor, “you’re on my board Ruchi Koval, speaker. of directors.” on-one sessions soon turned She advised consulting into a class. The whole experithe mentor in situations such ence felt natural and inspiring as when disputes arise in reto him. He paid attention to lationships. “When you have that and acted on it, deciding an argument,” she explained, to become a rabbi. Today he is “you decide you’re going to the rabbi of Congregation JFX. consult with your mentor.” The evening ended with You already know you value Beth Kushnick, then-president that person’s judgement, so of Women’s Philanthropy, you seriously consider any advice. In the end, though, the thanking event cochairs Tracy Sussman and Kimberly decision is yours. Valuntas for pulling everyKoval closed her talk with the idea that you’re presented thing together. She said the idea of having Koval come with much of value throughand speak to the community out your life. What matters is came up before COVID-19. what do you do with it when Tonight it’s time had finally it appears? come. She looked over at When she and her husKoval: “Nothing is better than band were living in Israel having you here today.” early in their relationship, for example, he decided to give back to the community by volunteering to tutor young adults in Hebrew. The one-
to. Your level of commitment and dedication continues to inspire me. Thank you for setting an example by your actions, your kindness and your strong belief in a Jewish future for generations to come. You made May 18, 2023, a most memorable and special day for me.
