Diary of a Jaguar Amanda Vignapiano
August 13, 2013 Dear Diary, When I was swimming, I saw a monkey so I gobbled it up. Turned out it wasn't a real monkey, it was a stuffed animal on the side of the lake. It did not taste so good... it's really hard to digest stuffing and thread.
August 23 Dear Diary, In the middle of the night, I heard people chopping my home down. Mom and I ran out like lightning, but we left dad behind. We thought he was right next to me, but I really don't know what happened... I'm so scared!!
August 24 Dear Diary, We found dad. He came five minutes later... phew! Guess what? My mom had kittens today, but I missed it because I was at school taking my daily swimming lessons. My teacher says I could probably beat Michael Phelps in a real Olympic Race, but then she said something about how Jaguars aren't allowed in the Olympics. Too bad, I really wanted to wear those tight bathing suits...
November 14 Dear Diary, When I got home from school today, I asked my mom why my teacher called me the third largest cat today. Mom is bigger, dad is bigger, grandma and grandpa are bigger, I don't really get it. I'm only four years old and am still pretty small. Do you think my teacher needs to retire? Maybe she is too old because I don't think she really knows what she is talking about...
November 23 Dear Diary, I was walking up the usual tree that I take to school when I bumped into a branch. This really sticky leaf fell on me and attached itself to my face. I ran home and my mom took it off, and now I no longer look like I have a unibrow.
December 2 Dear Diary, I asked my mom what color my fur was, and she said it was tan. I said, "I like the color brown better." Then I asked her if I can paint brown spots on me, but she said, "no."
December 14 Dear Diary, I am so scared. At breakfast today, my dad said that when I get older, I am going to live alone. Well, that's what it sounded like, but it was hard to tell because he was chomping on a piece of monkey.
December 20 Dear Diary, My teacher said in class today that, "Jaguars only live to the age of 12 or 15." I am so scared.... I don't want to die!!!
December 23 Dear Diary, It's almost Chanukah. My gift this year came a couple of days early. I grew one inch, one WHOLE inch! I always knew this day would come. I love being eight inches. I get to ride on the enormous slide at my pool club without an adult or without having to sneak on! (Not that I ever did that or anything....hehe). Anyways, this has been a great year, see you next year diary!