COPYRIGHT INFORMATION: Print ISSN: 1946-6420; E-ISSN: 1946-6439; ZAKAR MAGAZINE is published by T.J. COMMUNICATIONS INC. (P.O. Box 440981, Kennesaw, GA 30160) www.zakarmagazine.com Š 2009, T.J. Communications, Inc. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited without written permission. The information contained herein has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable; however, the information provided is not meant to replace licensed professionals but is to be used alongside. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the publisher. Printed in the U.S.A. All rights reserved. For reprints, contact www.zakarmagazine.com.
www.zakarmagazine.com
-JGF %FQBSUNFOUT SPIRITUAL GROWTH & DEVELOPMENT First Love, Part Two Why Not You?! EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING Reposition Your Life A Man’s Perspective: Dance To The Possibility of YOUR Music! PHYSICAL BODY Conquering Insomnia 10 Steps To Start (and Maintain) A Successful Workout Routine To Go Natural Or Stay Relaxed, THAT Is The Question! FINANCES Underwater Treasure: How To Acquire A Home During A Recession Tidal Wave CAREER Lady Leadership: Career Self-Assessment The Professional’s Organized Desk R E L AT I O N S H I P S Helping Your Teen Build A Better Body Image Marriage Make-Over—A Radio Interview With Emerson Eggerich
www.zakarmagazine.com
www.zakarmagazine.com
-FUUFS 'SPN 5IF &EJUPS I’m shouting it’s time to ENGAGE in our lives!! Too many women are lost, discouraged, frustrated and really tired of living. I know how very hard it can be when your life has fallen into a rut and routine of waking up, getting kids ready, feeding, driving, working, returning home, working, cleaning, cooking and starting all over again day after day, week after week and year after year. Autopilot living is our mode of operation, daily. I’m asking you to stop for just a moment and ask yourself, “Is this how I want to live the rest of my life?” Falling into the trap of ‘daily grind living’ can really take a toll on our energy, desire and drive to push our lives forward. But with this issue of Zakar, we are calling a war against autopilot living and we are sounding the alarm, because it’s time to “ENGAGE!” Like a general leading troops into battle, I’m saying ENGAGE in your life once again! We’ll show you the way. It’s time to regroup, refocus and rekindle your passion for living your very best lives. It’s time to engage like never before because the best is yet to come. In fact this issue of Zakar is dedicated to helping you engage in what I call the seven core areas of your life in a real, relevant and practical way. What does engaging look like? I’m glad you asked! Engaging means spiritually and morally reconnecting with who you really are and being intentional about growing and developing spiritually (make sure you read Vikki Johnson’s article on WHY NOT YOU?!). Being engaged in your core areas means being emotionally balanced, it means taking care of your body (certified fitness trainer Triniti Williams helps you to engage physically by giving you 10 steps to start (and maintain) a successful workout routine). Engaging also means building healthy, strong relationships, being savvy about your finances in these tough economic times and being very careful to build your career and self-esteem! Please remember, this is the ONLY life you’re going to get and it’s up to YOU to make it the very best life that you can. Let Zakar (your life-coaching magazine) help you ENGAGE your life. I think you’ll be glad that you did. Oh, please pass this issue (www.zakarmagazine. com) along to all of the people in your life who need to ENGAGE! God Bless You Always!
Jennifer Keitt
www.zakarmagazine.com
7HY .OT 9OU #Z &MEFS 7JLLJ +PIOTPO XXX FMEFSWJLLJKPIOTPO PSH
By faith and with love for you my sister, I am challenging you to believe right now that today is the first day of the best days of your life. You must believe that God made you who you are, to do what He created you to do like only YOU can do it. The trauma, the struggle, the tragedies, the pain, the misery, the disappointments were and are all a part of God’s plan to shift you into the next stage of purpose. Yes, even your troubles are purpose driven. Often when we are going through these things, we ask “Why me?� However, I am asking you, “Why not you?� The reality is when we walk in God’s purpose for our lives, we walk in God’s power for our lives! The good news is, when you discover your purpose, you will discover your passion ~ immediately ~ no matter your age, status, or level of education.
1 www.zakarmagazine.com
The struggles in your life are not to punish you but to process you for your purpose! Crisis causes us to surrender. We often hesitate to agree
ENGAGE YOUR LIFE! What is your
with God quickly because we anticipate that the process
major take-away from Vikki’s en-
will be a lengthy one. However, I’m a witness that God
couragement? Write it here:
makes everything beautiful in its own time. He is able to redeem time, reconcile time, and in some cases reverse time to achieve His purpose in our lives. Where you are is NOT where you are going to be in the end. You must know and understand that every encounter in your life is God’s intention for your life. God is working out His purpose in us and quite often, that “working out” is not pleasant. However, you must know that if God leads you to it ~ He’ll lead you through it. Do you know that your purpose waited for you to be born and that no one else can fulfill it the way you can? This is the season of new beginnings, new relationships, new opportunities, new vision, a new YOU! Still you may be asking, “Why me?”. Again I say, “Why not you?” because purpose looks good on you!
2 www.zakarmagazine.com
0OWER ,IVING "Y 4HE "OOK with Jennifer Keitt , www.jenniferkeitt.com 4QFDJBM OPUF 5IJT BSUJDMF JT B DPOUJOVBUJPO GSPN MBTU
'*345 -07& 1BSU 5XP
JTTVF *UÂľT UBLFO GSPN B NFTTBHF UIBU * EFMJWFSFE JT XIBU *
Remember your first love? Remember (or maybe you are
When we first fell in love with the Lord (if you haven’t,
currently experiencing) all of the ‘mushy’ feelings associ-
you just don’t know what you’re missing!) we THOUGHT
ated with the first love experience. When we are in love
about Him all the time; we spent all of our TIME with
with someone for the first time, there are four Ts that I
Him (in His word, around His people); we FELT Him all
believe describe the experience: THOUGHTS, TIME, TOUCH
the time in our hearts and we TALKED to Him and about
and TALK. When we’re in love ALL of our thoughts are
Him to everyone who would listen! Our relationship with
consumed with the person we are in love with; ALL of the
Him then was pure, it was exhilarating, refreshing, en-
time we can spare or make we give to being with that
ergizing and we glowed from that first love time! Jesus
person; we DEFINITELY want to touch—feel—the one we
said to Ephesus (and to us I believe) I MISS THAT!
love and boy do we talk our heads off when we’re in love!
I MISS OUR FIRST LOVE EXPERIENCE and want it back!
CFMJFWF JT B ´SJHIU XIFSF XF BSF¾ XPSE GPS CFMJFWFST &OKPZ
As we discussed in part one of this message, Jesus ‘calledout’ the church at Ephesus in the book of Revelation. He says to them, “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.� Revelation 2:2-4 (NKJV) In this text the Lord commends, commends and commends the church! He acknowledges and gives kudos for all of the wonderful WORK they are doing, but He still (in spite of all their hard work) held something against them—LOVE! Jesus said they had LEFT THEIR FIRST LOVE! He was seemingly MORE concerned about the first love experience than all of their hard work and effort!
3 www.zakarmagazine.com
We must become LOVERS again! Here’s how. “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength…” Mark 12:30a (NKJV) We simply take the directive of the Lord here in Mark 12 and LOVE Him again with our HEART, SOUL, MIND, and STRENGTH (you’ll see momentarily how these correlate to the first love experience!)
I must LOVE THE LORD with ALL my . . . HEART: This represents the inner
MIND: This is what I THINK—using
most core of my being; it’s where
my mind to generate thoughts
the Lord and I TALK and relate!
continuously about the Lord again.
SOUL: This is where my emo-
STRENGTH: This is how I show the
tions dwell and I am TOUCHED
Lord how much I love Him by
by the Lord. It’s here that I
giving of my strength and TIME
generate the ‘feelings’ of be-
to serve Him and His people.
ing in love again with Him.
Let’s get back to our FIRST LOVE, “We love Him because He first loved us.” 1John 4:19 (NKJV)
4 www.zakarmagazine.com
ÂŞ2EPOSITION 9OUR ,IFEÂŤ By Paul Wilson, Jr., www.paulwilsonjr.com
One definition of insanity is continually doing the same thing, but expecting different results. This applies to many people in their career pursuits. They put their dreams on hold while working at a job they don’t like, for people who don’t appreciate their talents, and for pay that doesn’t reflect their true value or contributions. Their hope is that “one day� they will be able to pursue what’s really in their hearts. Sadly, “one day� often never comes for the majority of people who live like this. I’m wondering how many of the 4 million people that have lost their jobs since January 2008 immediately turned their attention to seeking another job at a company that also just fired thousands of workers. I’m wondering how many people are sending out countless resumes, competing against hundreds (or thousands) of other applicants in the hopes that a recruiter or hiring manager will be able to sift through the sea of embellishments and lies to see them for the wonderfully talented, uniquely qualified, and distinctly special individuals that they are. So many people are caught in an unending cycle of chasing something that only wants them for what they can produce versus who they are as individuals. In any other situation this type of relationship would be unacceptable, but most tend to accept these arrangements in their career pursuits.
*UÂľT UJNF UP TUPQ UIJT MJGF ESBJOJOH DZDMF PG GSVTUSBUJPO JSSJUBUJPO BOE TUBHOBUJPO *UÂľT UJNF UP SFQPTJUJPO
5 www.zakarmagazine.com
Repositioning is about shifting your approach in every area of your life so that you can thrive no matter what’s going on around you.
I have identified at least five areas that will help you to reposition your life:
1) your perspective, 2) your preparation, 3) your passions,
4) your personal assets, and 5) your pain.
Reposition Your Perspective: Assess your cur-
Reposition Your Personal Assets: Do an in-
rent situation in relation to the external en-
depth professional and personal inventory
vironment and then adjust your mental/
(i.e. knowledge, education, experiences, skills,
emotional focus in order to take advantage
relationships, other) and make strategic deci-
of opportunities that are not obvious to pes-
sions to leverage the realities of the current
simists. This attitude compels you to be more
financial/economic environment to your ben-
creative, more resourceful, more clever, and
efit. Increase your value in the marketplace
more enterprising than other people are will-
by finding problems that you can solve.
ing to be right now. This mindset enables you to see diamonds where others only see dirt.
Reposition Your Pain: Pain often signals that something in your life is wrong or needs to
Reposition Your Preparation: There is a saying
change. As painful as some of our experi-
that goes, “Success equals opportunity plus
ences are, many times these episodes open
preparation.� A wise person prepares with
the door for us to start fresh or do something
the expectation that what they are prepar-
new/different that we wouldn’t have pursued
ing for could come at any time. You don’t
otherwise. A healthy perspective on pain
know when your big break will present itself.
equips you to turn your financial, emotional,
So don’t get sucked into the quicksand of
and relational injuries into assets. While the
complacency and apathy, thinking that your
pain itself doesn’t feel good, the response
opportunity has either passed you by or isn’t
to the pain can propel you forward into a
coming. Preparation is an exercise of faith that
new life. Your painful experiences will either
moves you in the direction of possession!
grow you or ground you. It’s your choice.
Reposition Your Passions: People often confuse
Don’t embrace the insanity that is often dis-
passion with excitement. Real passion exceeds
guised as a job search. Life is too short to be
excitement, because it involves a deep com-
stuck on career paths that are unfulfilling,
mitment to your goal no matter what difficulties,
unchallenging, unsustainable, and that don’t
challenges, obstacles, ridicule and suffering
allow you to flourish as a professional and as
you have to endure. Truly passionate people
a human being. Reposition your life today!
have an unselfish, focused determination to achieve their goal no matter what it might cost them personally. A key to repositioning your
%SFBN # * (
passion is finding something to believe in that
1BVM 8JMTPO +S
has a purpose or significance that’s bigger than your personal desires; something that could impact thousands or even millions of people.
6 www.zakarmagazine.com
! -ANS 0ERSPECTIVE By Ed Blunt, www.edblunt.com ed@bluntartistry.com
%BODF UP UIF QPTTJCJMJUZ PG :063 NVTJD When I was in 8th grade I went to my first school dance. I grew up in a house where music played a big, big part in our lives. My mother would blast the sounds of Motown and ‘50s soul first thing every Saturday morning! If I happened to be one of the 2% of African-Americans born without rhythm, she made sure that it was programmed in
I started the long walk across the floor. My
me by the time I reached adolescence.
stride was awkward because I was completely self conscious of the fact that ev-
So there I was at Regina Middle School
eryone was looking at me. The boys were
sporting my brown slacks that were too
watching in awe as I was the first one to
tight with the flare bottoms and a very
cross over into what could have been hostile
crisp white button down shirt with a fresh
territory and the girls were watching to see
orange kool-aid stain near my collar. As I
if I was decent looking enough to give the
stood there staring at the .99 cookie tray
time of day to. I was undeterred by the fact
and pink colored punch concoction, a
that I was at that stage of development
true classic came over the loud speakers;
where pimples and plumpness have their
‘Play Another Slow Jam’ by Atlantic Star!
way, because my song was playing and I
My heart jumped and I started snapping my fingers and humming the tune. I immediately began to look for a girl to dance with. Since Regina was an all girls school, all the boys
HAD to dance. You see, it was more important for me to dance to my music than it was to entertain any of my flaws or all that could go wrong in those next moments.
were on one side of the gym and all the girls
I approached the first girl within striking
were on the other, so in order for me to ask
distance and asked with as much confi-
a girl to dance I had to walk ALL the way
dence as I could muster, “Do you wanna
across the gym floor to the other side, step
dance?” I waited for what seemed an hour
into a sea of young ladies and then mus-
for her response, as I could feel the weight
ter up the courage to ask one of them to
of the eyes from behind eagerly awaiting
dance. Now my heart was REALLY pumping
something to laugh at and the eyes in front
fast and I began to feel the beads of sweat
trying to decide if I was indeed human with
rolling down my back, turning my newly
my clumsy gate and barely audible request.
ironed shirt into a skin sticking sweat soaker
“No.” she said. Not “no thank you,” “I’d
upper, but the song was way more power-
like to but, my legs are tired” or “I would if I
ful than any feelings of inadequacy I felt.
could, but I’m married.” She just said “NO.”
7 www.zakarmagazine.com
At that moment I had a choice to make. I could turn around dejected and defeated, and walk ALL the way back to the other side of the dance floor, or I could keep moving to the beat of my song until I found someone to dance with. You see the song was bigger than my circumstance so I took that hit and went to the next girl. “Do you wanna dance?” “No.” I went to the next girl, “Do you wanna dance?” “No.” And after the third “no,” I’m starting to pick up my pace because the song is in me. I start moving my feet and swinging my head from side to side. I’m ALIVE. I’m enjoying my song and I’m going to dance with SOMEBODY even if that somebody is ME! In a flash, something happened. I didn’t care about the “no’s.” I didn’t take it personally. I had a swagger that said, “if you don’t dance with me you’ll be missing out until you do!” I set out to dance down the entire line of girls until I got a “yes” or until my song was finished. Well by the time I reached the 5th girl I had picked up my pace even more! I was moving with energy and enthusiasm! “Do you wanna dance?” was coming out rapid fire with passion and excitement and by the time I reached the 8th girl she HAD to say “yes” just to find out where all of this great energy was going to take her! We made it to the dance floor with just a few bars left of the song and I relished in the moment of my first slow dance. I learned a valuable lesson that day. If I had spent more time focusing on the power of my song and less time worrying about what other people thought, I would have gotten on the dance floor a lot sooner! The dance floor is where it happens ladies and gentlemen. Life is short and unpredictable! Get on out there and dance. Dance to your potential, dance to your progress and dance to your possibility! Don’t waste time worrying about what other people think! Move to YOUR music and share it with love and enthusiasm so that when your time comes, you will be able to say “I did not hold my gifts hostage. I did not live in fear or small thinking. And I did not live up to the low expectations of others. I lived all out, out loud and all in!”
8 www.zakarmagazine.com
#ONQUERING )NSOMNIA
Insomnia is classified as a sleep disorder that occurs when you struggle for more than a half hour to fall asleep or wake up in the middle of the night or early morning and can’t get back to sleep. Remarkably, some people with insomnia average only 15 to 20 hours of sleep a week. Insomnia can last a few days or longer, but even a short-term sleep deficit can affect your well-being and cause you to feel irritable.
8): $"/µ5 :06 4-&&1 Stress is the No. 1 cause of short-term in-
Other culprits include noise,
somnia, but physical factors may also be to
too much caffeine and
blame. Pain from arthritis, backache or other
keeping irregular hours. Shift
discomforts can make it a challenge to sleep
workers and travelers who
peacefully. For women, hormonal changes
frequently cross time zones
during pregnancy, menopause or the men-
can have trouble battling
strual cycle can keep you up at night.
biological rhythms to get a good night’s sleep.
9 www.zakarmagazine.com
(&5 ;;;µ4 8*5) &"4& The best way to treat insomnia is to address what’s causing it. Consider these simple lifestyle adjustments: Keep regular sleep hours. Avoid stimulants such as coffee, caffeinated beverages and nicotine. Avoid alcohol, which can rob you of deep sleep. Get regular exercise, which can
Curb your fluid intake late in the day
53&"5*/( :063 */40./*"
if you have problems getting back
If you still have problems
help you sleep more soundly. Keep nighttime snacks small. Large meals right before bedtime can keep you up.
to sleep after using the bathroom.
sleeping after making lifestyle changes, see your doctor. Get help before insomnia ruins your days as well as your nights. Don’t let getting a good night’s sleep turn into a nightmare.
10 www.zakarmagazine.com
3TEPS TO 3TART AND -AINTAIN A 3UCCESSFUL 7ORKOUT 2OUTINE By Triniti Williams CFT
As a Fitness Expert I’ve met many individuals looking to attain that perfect physique. When they initially find out I’m a Fitness Trainer, here comes the questions: “How do I get arms like yours?” “Can I get a 6-pack in a week?!” “So, do I have to train EVERYDAY if I want to lose 25 lbs by next month? (mind you it’s already June 19!)” And finally my favorite, “If I work out often, can I eat what I want, when I want?” I have to tell you, my first response to many of these questions, (“WUUU-SAAAHHH”). Now please don’t read me wrong; it’s my honor and privilege to help individuals with their fitness queries. I’ve even made it my personal crusade to spread the word on what TRUE fitness is all about. A key thing to remember is that true health and fitness is a lifestyle and a journey. Having shared this, I have 10 Steps to help start you on your journey to true health & fitness. They are certain to bring forth vast results in your energy levels, body composition and improved daily living! These steps will aid in maintaining the momentum in your fitness endeavors helping you to stick to your regimen & accomplish your goals! Prepare for your lifestyle transformation!
11 www.zakarmagazine.com
-FUÂľT TUBSU XJUI UIF GJSTU TUFQ 1). Determine your WHY When starting your new regimen you take off with a lot of momentum, excited about the new gadgets, work out clothes, meal plan and eating schedule. Wow! You’re ready to go! Then reality hits, soreness sets in, and the momentum begins to fade. So before diving head-first into your new regimen, set aside some time to establish WHY you’re doing it. This is your GOAL establishing process. Write your goals down and post them somewhere as a constant reminder. Make them realistic; create phases. Don’t bog yourself down with unfeasible goals and impossible deadlines. Be patient and give yourself a reasonable amount of time to reach your glorious achievements. 2). Establish your motivation/compelling reasons Your compelling reason is one that, when focused on, will push you beyond your set limits. It is also selfless. We may excuse ourselves when we feel it’s only ourselves we’ll disappoint if we fall off. Thinking of others in some cases act as true motivation. It may be your children, the memory of a deceased loved one, or a personal life or death scenario. Whatever it is, make it very relevant, then allow it to be of encouragement. 3). Invest in a fitness/body composition consultation Now I already know the issue with this step. The economy, right? Well, I have a solution to this. Seek out Certified Fitness Trainers that might offer a onetime complimentary assessment. Who knows, you just might find that working with a trainer is right for you. If not, at least you’ll know what you’re working with. It’s imperative that you know your fitness level before beginning a new regimen. How else would you track your progress? An assessment usually consists of body measurements, (girth, body fat %, Lean Body Mass), flexibility, strength tests, cardio evaluations and possible meal evaluations. 4). Evaluate your lifestyle: What Stays? What’s Got To Go! Begin by making two columns. On one side ask yourself the question, “What habits do I have that will help me in my new fitness lifestyle?â€? Then ask, “Which habits will hinder me?â€? You might want someone to review this list with you, offering objective input. Look at your sleep habits, the amount and types of stress you experience daily, your eating habits and your current daily activities.
12 www.zakarmagazine.com
5). Choose your workout sanctuary Atmosphere is everything. Determine what works for you. You’d be amazed at how your training environment affects your motivation, drive and yes, results! Pay attention to how the other trainers and members treat each other. Notice the respect level toward one another, the equipment, the type of music (hard rock, jazz or hip-hop), the smell…yes ladies and gentlemen, even the scent of the workout facility may subconsciously take you out of your “zone”. 6). Got Shoes??? This isn’t about fashion, but function. Adequate shoes can make all the difference in the world when working out. You want a pair of sneakers, cross-trainers preferably, that will offer you proper support. Don’t be cheap in this area. Go to a sporting goods store; you’d be surprised at some of the great deals you’ll find. Ask the sales associate for their assistance and describe your activity. Actually, some stores still take foot measurements to assist you in choosing the proper shoe! 7). Choose Fitness activities that are fun, energetic, dynamic and switch it up Choose a workout routine that you’re excited about. Now for my newbies, remember, ease into it. Start with beginners activities. If you’re in a group fitness setting the facilitator often offers beginners options. Ask questions and pay attention to safety. Vary your routine from day-to-day or week-to-week as you choose.
13 www.zakarmagazine.com
8). Prepare for a new eating lifestyle-Determine the right foods for you It is imperative to establish proper eating habits as you begin your new workout routine. Eating 4 to 6 meals a day sustains energy levels that allow you to carry out your daily activities. Consider meeting with a nutritionist or read up on proper eating habits yourself. Also, establish what foods are optimal for your body type. This is as unique to you as your fingerprint. Who knew?! 9). Find an Accountability Partner Go ahead and get a work-out buddy! Motivation! Motivation! Motivation! Some of us are good at pushing ourselves, but, for most of us, having an accountability partner will enhance progress and intentionality. 10). Don’t beat yourself DOWN if you slip UP Finally, when starting something new, we must exhibit a certain level of patience with ourselves. So, if you find that while going through your lifestyle transition you experience a hiccup or two, consider the following: 1) What situation brought it about? 2) How did you feel before and after it happened? 3) If it helps, write about it then leave it alone. During this process, you will learn a lot about yourself. Take note of those weak moments, but do not dwell on them. Let them strengthen you, grow all-the-wiser from them, and keep it moving. You’ll be amazed with your progress!
I hope these steps will prove to be as effective in your journey as they are in mine. Making lifestyle changes takes time. Even with the best workout schedule, eating regimen and workout buddy, this will be challenging! Implementing a new fitness regime and proper eating habits is a lifestyle change. You will reap the full benefits of all of your work and effort. Welcome the journey. I wish you eternal blessings and total wellness.
14 www.zakarmagazine.com
4O 'O .ATURAL /R 3TAY 2ELAXED 4(!4 IS 4HE 1UESTION By Angela D. Phoenix, Licensed Educator of Cosmetology aphoenixstyles@yahoo.com
African-American women are faced with so many decisions day in and day out regarding their families, career, health, finances and now one of the biggest decisions that seems to be sweeping the nation is, “Should I grow my relaxer out and go natural?” As a stylist, I hear this question at least 2 to 3 times a week from different clients and at this point, at least 40% of my clientele who were once bound to the relaxer are now chemical free and wearing their natural texture of hair. This decision did not come easily for many and honestly some clients didn’t even realize that I was growing their relaxer out for them in an effort to save their hair because the long-term use of the relaxers were thinning and breaking their hair. Many of us have bought into the
in the hair world and yours is no dif-
notion of “good hair” and “bad
ferent. It may be coarse, but not bad
hair” and those of us who needed
and there IS a distinct difference. The
a relaxer were in the “bad hair”
beauty of this evolution of “going nat-
category. Well as a licensed cos-
ural” is truly getting back to just being
metologist for 15 years and licensed
okay with you in a pure state and
Educator of Cosmetology I am here
how you as a woman really see your-
to tell you that there is no such thing
self. Always remember that people
as “bad hair”. Yes, I said it, there is no
will always see you as you see yourself
such thing, so stop rolling your eyes
and they will treat you only as good
or saying to yourself, well she hasn’t
as you treat yourself. So embrace
seen my hair, because in 15 years,
this natural side and know that you
there really isn’t much I haven’t seen
and your natural hair are beautiful.
15 www.zakarmagazine.com
; 5JQT UIBU BSF )JQ Transitioning: s When transitioning from a relaxer to natural, it is vital that you discuss this with your stylist and both of you are on board with your transition and if they are not, you should begin looking for another stylist who will be in agreement with your decision. Ouch, did I say that?! Now that everyone is in agreement, your next plan of action should be coming up with a hair care regime that will accommodate the “growing out� transition, maintaining a polished look, and healthy hair. I know a lot of stylists will suggest cutting all of your hair off and growing it from that point. However, due to the invention of ceramic irons and the careful use of the age old pressing comb, that isn’t always necessary. s Ask your stylist to refer you to a good shampoo and conditioner, such as the J Beverly Control Shampoo and Conditioner which is excellent for taming medium to coarse hair. You should also have regular trims approximately every 8-12 weeks, along with a protein treatment every 6 weeks, which is used to strengthen the hair. It is imperative that your stylist is involved in this transition. There is a strong possibility of breakage, which in most cases is inevitable and your stylist can treat and guide you through to the other side. s If you are already natural, try a twist, braid or spiral set for a great new look. When either of these styles is created, texture is alsocreated and set in the hair. This will not only look great, but also give you a great style that is controlled yet naturally BEAUTIFUL! s Always go with the mindset of protecting your hair, so before going swimming, use a good moisturizing conditioner and saturate your hair, put on a plastic cap and then cover with your swimming cap. After you are finished, use a Kelating/Clarifying shampoo to remove any chlorine residue and follow up with a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner.
16 www.zakarmagazine.com
5NDERWATER 4REASURE (OW TO !CQUIRE A (OME DURING A 4IDAL 7AVE By Clyde Anderson
The retention wall for housing has burst wide open and now we are drowning in foreclosures. If you have the provisions and your credit is still worthy, you can ride these waters, purchase a home and benefit from our nations woes.
A great way to purchase a home and benefit someone
Buying on the court house steps can be the
in the process is to purchase a property directly from the
most profitable way to purchase, but you have
homeowner who may be facing foreclosure. This can save
to be alert and know exactly what you’re buy-
a homeowner from experiencing the devastating effects
ing. The property is publicly auctioned off to
of foreclosure while allowing a potential buyer to acquire
the highest bidder, and the process moves very
a property at a steep discount. This is not an easy process,
quickly. When bidding at the auction, you com-
but could be rewarding if done correctly. If you want to
pete against the lender and other investors who
travel down this road you should first pursue properties that
are organized, savvy professionals who have
have been evaluated and then narrow down your choices.
done their homework and are playing to win,
Have the property inspected if possible and evaluate the
so be prepared. Before you head to the auc-
needs of the property owner. Once you determine the
tion block, research properties prior to the sale
market value of the property, fix-up costs, potential sales
date and make realistic goals about how much
price and profits, you can arrange a loan default work-out
you can afford to bid with. Calculate the values
plan by negotiating with the owner and the lender. If all
and potential profits and determine your bid
fares well you can close on your property and begin the
price. Now you can follow your chosen proper-
dream of Homeownership. Let’s weigh the pros and cons.
ties to the auction and join the bidding frenzy.
Pros: This is a great investment opportunity for those
Pros: Very good to exceptional discounts. Inves-
who can take advantage. Discounts off market val-
tors can achieve 35% to 45% savings off mar-
ues can range from 20% to 35% on average. A low
ket values and earn an excellent return on
cash down payment is possible if structured prop-
investment. This is the only investing method
erly. You have plenty of time to research properties.
where you can really receive huge profits.
Unique and flexible sales agreements are possible.
Cons: It is sometimes difficult to contact the prop-
Cons: It is often impossible to inspect the property.
erty owner. You will usually have a good amount of
Title searches are strongly recommended and can
competition. A title search is strongly recommended
cost you some additional funds. You must have
and that research would require your firm attention.
a certified check for either a percentage or the entire purchase amount. If you pay a percentage the balance may be due very quickly.
17 www.zakarmagazine.com
Probably the easiest way to buy foreclosed property is buying REOs (Real Estate Owned). An REO occurs when the lender takes back the property to gain possession and cut its losses. The lender, however, does not want the property because it is not in the real estate business and is motivated to move the property quickly. These properties are usually handed over to realtors designated
/P NBUUFS XIBU
by the lender to represent them and make the sell.
XBWF ZPV DIPPTF
Purchasing REOs can be as seamless as locating the
UP SJEF UIF LFZ JT UP
bank properties, inspecting the property for needed repairs and upgrades, and then submitting your contract.
CFDPNF FEVDBUFE FNQPXFSFE BOE JO TQJSFE UP MFBSO NPSF TP ZPV DBO EP CFUUFS
Pros: The discounts can be moderate and very controlled, yet easy to work with. The process is similar to buying a property that is not bank owned, but instead of the seller being an individual it’s a company. Banks don’t want to be in the business of selling properties nor do they want to hold properties so you have a great chance to receive an accepted contract.
Cons: Discounts are usually minimal, and can take extended periods of time to close. Most properties are sold “As Is� as the lender is not likely to do any repairs to the property. A buyer may also find it difficult to get certain types of financing depending on the condition of the property.
18 www.zakarmagazine.com
,ADY ,EADERSHIP
&OHBHF *O :PVS -JGF 5P FOHBHF JO ZPVS MJGF NFBOT UP CF "$5*7&-: JO WPMWFE JO ZPVS MJGF JU NFBOT UP CF $0..*55&% UP ZPVS MJGF 5BLJOH DBSF PG PVS MJWFT JT " -05 PG XPSL
Take This Career Development Self Assessment Here’s a Z-TOOL that we’ve created to help you take an
There’s only one pre-requisite:
honest look at the major areas of your life and develop a
YOU CAN’T LIE TO YOURSELF!!! Honest answers enable
strategy to grow in that area!
you to get your life moving in the right direction.
On a scale of 1 – 5 (5=absolutely, 4=almost there, 3=maybe, 2=not really, 1=absolutely not) rate yourself on the following statements:
I have aligned my passion with my career/job—I am getting paid to do what I love to do.
5
4
3
2
1
I consistently sharpen my gifts, talents and skills.
5
4
3
2
1
I have a ‘professional presence’ complete with excellent communication skills.
5
4
3
2
1
I have and am developing a large network of people who can help me advance.
5
4
3
2
1
I have a mentor/coach or someone who supports me in my career goals.
5
4
3
2
1
I have a ‘personal positioning statement’ defining who I am; or a personal ‘brand’.
5
4
3
2
1
I have nurtured and developed my ‘entrepreneurial’ spirit (even if I am employed).
5
4
3
2
1
I have career goals.
5
4
3
2
1
I have a current, up-to-date resume or biography.
5
4
3
2
1
I know my purpose.
5
4
3
2
1
Find your average by adding up your numbers and dividing by ten.
.Z TDPSF @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 19 www.zakarmagazine.com
8IBU EPFT ZPVS TDPSF NFBO UP ZPV 8SJUF CFMPX
5IF BSFBT JO XIJDI * BN UPUBMMZ FOHBHFE BSF
5IF BSFBT JO XIJDI * DBO JNQSPWF BSF
.Z 501 HPBM JO UIJT BSFB
.Z OFYU TUFQ BDUJPO T UP BDDPNQMJTI UIJT POF HPBM JT BSF
5IF QBZPGG T * FYQFDU JT BSF
20 www.zakarmagazine.com
4HE 0ROFESSIONALÂS /RGANIZED $ESK By: Janet Taylor jtaylor@totallyorganized.biz http://www.blogtalkradio.com/janettaylor
'JMF 'JSTU Do you know what information is in the piles on your desk? Have important documents gone unanswered because they were hidden under piles in your office? Have you missed deadlines because you didn’t have a system for your mail? Contrary to popular belief a cluttered desk is not a sign of productivity. Instead a messy desk can become emo-
Filing can be boring but an organized filing system provides a home for the paperwork on your desk. Never set aside a piece of paper without taking some action on it. As a first step, make sure the paper you file meets the following criteria: s
The information is useful.
s
The information can not be obtained from anyone else.
s
This document will be used again in the next six months to a year.
s
The information is not available on the computer and can not be put on disk.
tionally draining and hamper your ability to do a good
Use hanging file folders- your files will look
job at home or at the office. In addition your unorga-
neater, last longer, and be more accessible.
nized paperwork sends a terrible message to clients, colleagues and yourself: “My work is out of control.�
Color-code your files. By using vibrant colors for your manila folders and hanging file
Generally, you’ll find yourself with a messy desk because
folders your files will be easier to identify.
you have no system in place for incoming and outgoing paperwork. If you truly want to better organize your desk it
Schedule time to file regularly. All paper-
will require changing old habits and discipline on your part.
work should be filed until you are ready to work on it. File on a daily or weekly basis.
Do you have what it takes to overcome the barrage of paper covering your desk? YES you do!
21 www.zakarmagazine.com
4PSU /FYU
Sort incoming mail. Separate correspondence into the following categories: A-Action create a file for letters that require your action. Review these documents regularly and pencil deadlines into your calendar. Discard any correspondence where: 1) deadlines have passed. 2) they’ve already been answered, or 3) you have no interest in keeping them. I-Information-any documents that don’t require action but must be read immediately should be put in an information file. Schedule time to review these documents because they are critical to your job or personal well being. R-Read-Create an “in-office� read file or place the folder in your briefcase or tote so you can review documents that you want to read. Discard any paperwork that becomes outdated. WB-Wastebasket-Make the trashcan your best friend and get rid of as much as you can.
$MFBO -BTU
Muddle through your mounds of magazines. Cancel subscriptions that no longer meet your needs. When sorting through magazine piles, quickly scan the table of contents to identify interesting articles. These articles should be clipped read and tossed. Throw out any magazines that you don’t intend to read. Clear Your Desk! Ensure that everything is easily retrievable and only necessary items are on your desk. Always straighten your desk at the end of the day so you can start each morning with a clear desk and clear mind.
22 www.zakarmagazine.com
(ELPING 9OUR 4EEN 'IRL "UILD ! "ETTER "ODY )MAGE Jennifer Keitt, www.jenniferkeitt.com
Many teens start to struggle with their body image as they begin puberty with a growth spurt. Others girls suffer because they haven’t had that spurt yet. As girls develop fuller hips and breasts, they many feel self-conscious. Teens with poor body images are more likely to try risky supplements and fad diets, develop eating disorders and exercise compulsively. Or, they may turn to alcohol and drugs to soothe their unhappiness. What’s a parent to do? Encourage your teen to look at herself from the INSIDE-OUT‌noting her accomplishments, character traits and personality, NOT just her physical appearance, for a sense of self-worth.
5SZ UIFTF ; TUSBUFHJFT BE MEDIA AND CELEBRITY SAVVY.
WATCH YOUR OWN WORDS.
FOCUS ON INWARD BEAUTY.
Explain how most media and
Think of the message you send
Help your teen see more than
celebrity images are created to
when you call indulging in a
just the physical side of life, be-
sell, persuade or manipulate, NOT
piece of cake being “bad� or
ing intentional about helping
to establish the way she is to be!
not eating all day being “good�.
her develop a great personality
If you lament your own image in
and integrity as she’s becom-
the mirror each morning or gush
ing a woman. Help her set goals
about how slim a friend looks, it
of being strong, fit and vital.
TALK TO YOUR TEEN’S DOCTOR.
reinforces the idea that a per-
Seek additional help if your teen
son’s worth is defined by his or
becomes obsessed with fixing
her body. Watch what you say to
his or her problem body part or
your daughter, being careful to
low self-esteem causes avoid-
build her up in a balanced healthy
ance of social situations.
manner, not just putting her down.
23 www.zakarmagazine.com
* 8"/5 :06 50 ,/08 .03& "#065 .& Here’s a tool you can use to help build your relationship with your teen daughter. Either fill it out yourself and have your daughter ‘check’ your answers or better yet, fill it out together!
%BVHIUFSÂľT OBNF
'BWPSJUF DPMPS
'BWPSJUF GPPE
4IF SFBMMZ FOKPZT
(get her flowers in her favorite color)
(pick it up for a dinner date with her)
(take note of what she likes doing and do it with her)
4IF EPFTOÂľU MJLF
4IF PGUFO ESFBNT BCPVU
4IF XJTIFT TIF IBE
(let her express what she really doesn’t like)
(help her make her dreams happen)
(teach her how to turn her wishes into goals)
4IFÂľT TDBSFE BCPVU
)FS GBWPSJUF NVTJDBM BSUJTU
(help calm her fears)
4IF MJLFT EJTMJLFT TDIPPM (teach her that learning/education is critical in life)
(get the name and the SONG TITLE straight!)
4IF XBOUT UP EP XJUI ZPV
(make the date TODAY)
4IF XBOUT UP CF B XIFO TIF HSPXT VQ (tell her how to follow her passion)
4IF QSBZT UIBU (PE XPVME IFMQ IFS
(hold her prayers in your heart and pray FOR and WITH her)
24 www.zakarmagazine.com
-ARRIAGE -AKEOVER
Making a marriage successful and intimate beyond the ‘infatuation’ stage is hard work, and you must keep up the hard work to maintain your love. What do you do when your infatuation has run out, your differences and habits are driving you crazy and your children (or careers, bills, etc.) have taken over your lives? You do a Marriage Makeover. Here’s one Makeover technique which can dramatically improve communication in marriage.
)FSFµT POF .BLFPWFS UFDIOJRVF XIJDI DBO ESBNBUJDBMMZ JNQSPWF DPNNVOJDBUJPO JO NBSSJBHF One-Way Communication 8PNFO DBO IFMQ UIFJS IVTCBOET PQFO VQ BOE UBML NPSF CZ CFJOH VQGSPOU IPOFTU BOE DPNQMFUFMZ TUSBJHIUGPSXBSE VTJOH POF XBZ DPNNVOJDBUJPO 0OF XBZ DPNNVOJDBUJPO JT HPJOH EJSFDUMZ UP ZPVS IVTCBOE BOE CSJFGMZ UFMMJOH IJN UIF USVUI ZPVS FNP UJPOT BOE UIPVHIUT BCPVU TPNFUIJOH UIBU IBT IBQ QFOFE JO ZPVS SFMBUJPOTIJQ 5FMM ZPVS IVTCBOE UIBU IF EPFTOµU IBWF UP SFTQPOE "TL IJN UP MJTUFO MFU IJN UBLF UJNF UP QSPDFTT XIBU ZPVµWF TBJE BOE XIFO IFµT SFBEZ BTL IJN UP GJOE ZPV BOE TIBSF IJT SFBDUJPO 8IFO ZPVµSF EPOF UBML JOH TJNQMZ TUPQ (P TJMFOU +VTU CF RVJFU GPS BU MFBTU GJWF NJOVUFT 4QFBL ZPVS QJFDF BOE NPWF PO 8IZ
25 www.zakarmagazine.com
Two reasons. .FO NBZ OPU CF BCMF UP SFTQPOE SJHIU BXBZ 5IFZ OFFE UJNF UP QSP DFTT BOE GJHVSF PVU UIFJS GFFMJOHT BOE UIPVHIUT PO BO JTTVF 8IFO JUµT B QFS TPOBM JTTVF JU UBLFT UIFN FWFO MPOHFS .FO XJMM DMBN VQ XIFO UIFZ GFFM QSFTTVSFE CZ B XPNBO 5IFZ GFFM DPOUSPMMFE BOE UIFZ TIPX ZPV XJUI UIFJS TJMFODF UIBU ZPV DBOµU NBLF UIFN UBML 5IF POF XBZ DPNNVOJDBUJPO TUSBUFHZ HFUT ZPV B NBZCF 5IF OBUVSBM GFNBMF XBZ PG QVTIJOH IJN UP SFTQPOE SJHIU BXBZ HFUT B OFWFS 5SZ UIJT XBZ BOE BG UFS ZPVS .BSSJBHF .BLFPWFS UIPTF TBNF XPOEFSGVM GFFMJOHT PG JOGBUVBUJPO±CVU EFFQFS OPX BOE CBTFE PO FYQFSJ FODF±XJMM SFUVSO BOE XJMM MBTU B MJGFUJNF
Dr. David Clarke is author of the book, The Total Marriage Makeover and was a guest on Jennifer Keitt’s Today’s Black Woman Radio Show. www.todaysblackwomanradio.com
26 www.zakarmagazine.com
www.zakarmagazine.com