Zakar Magazine Issue 2

First Love It's Time To Return The Power of Intimacy The 5 Most Important Questions A Woman MUST Ask! Help! I Quit My Purpose!

Recession-Proof Your Closet

the

Power to Survive

table of Contents Dating, Mating & Relating The Power of Intimacy

4

eMotional Well-Being Ask The Doctor

5

Sabbath: Rest, Renewal, Repose

6

CaReeR SuCCeSS Power And Victory Under Control

8

FaShioniStaS! Recession Proof Your Closet

10

poWeR living By the Book First Love

12

FinanCial eMpoWeRMent Turning Tough Times Around Financially

14

Surviving a Layoff

16

Z-BoDieS! Zelf-Care Basics

18

a WoMan’S SelF-eSteeM 5 Questions Every Woman Must Ask

20

I Quit My Purpose

22

print iSSn: 1946-6420; e-iSSn: 1946-6439; ZakaR MagaZine is published by t.J. CoMMuniCationS inC. (P.O. Box 440981, Kennesaw, GA 30160) www.zakarmagazine.com Š 2009, T.J. Communications, Inc. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited without written permission. The information contained herein has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable; however, the information provided is not meant to replace licensed professionals but is to be used alongside. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the publisher. Printed in the U.S.A. All rights reserved. For reprints, contact www.zakarmagazine.com .

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ZakaR

the life coaching magazine for real women

Letter from t he Edit or Dear Zakar Readers!

The launch of our premiere issue of ZAKAR MAGAZINE was an absolute success with over 4,000 readers combing the pages of our brand new digital life-coaching publication for today’s woman!

Zakar is being used as a study guide, a resource for women, it’s being used in Bible groups, women’s organizations, sororities, at women’s conferences . . . you name it, we have feedback that ZAKAR is there! With its convenient ONLINE format, you can enjoy Zakar and then immediately share it and pass it along to all of your friends and associates (www. zakarmagazine.com).

We are full steam ahead in this issue as we face the times that we are in head-on with POWER! This power issue is packed full of strategies, stories of triumph, tips, Biblical study . . . everything you’ll need to gain the POWER that’s necessary to maximize your life’s potential! You will discover the power of intimacy...the power to survive a layoff . . . the power to return to your first love . . . and even the power for those of you who’ve quit your purpose! You won’t be able to put this issue down.

ENJOY Zakar, savor it and then be sure to pass it along!

We are here, your digital, life-coaching magazine for today’s woman (www.zakarmagazine.com)!

God Bless!

Jennifer keitt Publisher/Editor-In-Chief ZAKAR MAGAZINE

I can remember days when my poor husband would have to pull out every “trick” in his hat in order to “get me ready” for sex. Foreplay lasted for nearly an hour, and even then sometimes I did not reach ecstasy. It disarms his manhood when a fellow cannot satisfy his woman sexually.

Yet because of the insatiable drive and need that most men have for sex, once they realize that they are unable to satisfy, they will usually resort to mindless fulfillment of their sexual needs at their wives’ expense. It creates an ugly scene for both the man and the woman. She feels used, he feels like a failure. This often leads to, or perpetuates, sexual addictions such as pornography, masturbation and/or prostitution.

After ten years of marriage, my husband and I finally understand the revelation that once eluded us. Wonderful sex begins and ends with true intimacy, not foreplay and frills. So many people think that sex and intimacy are synonymous, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex is a physical act involving the reproductive organs. Intimacy is a spiritual act involving the heart, mind and soul. It begins with a commitment to make a true and uninhibited connection with your spouse, allowing them all the way in to the deepest part of your soul. This is not just for the bedroom but for all day, everyday life.

When true intimacy is implemented in a marriage, lovemaking becomes multidimensional – Spirit, Soul and Body. It’s then that you realize you can experience all of the thrills with none of the frills.

True Ecstasy begins with True Intimacy!

Dr. Lawana Gladney, www.emotionalwellnessinc.com

What practical steps can I take to get my head together when I receive bad news?

There are several steps you can take to be “emotionally prepared” for bad news.

1. Have a Plan.

Take time to write out situations and scenarios that can possibly happen to you, both personally and professionally. Create a plan on how to deal with each scenario. Whether it’s losing your job, handling family crisis, a plan will help you think through logical steps in dealing with the issue.

2. Avoid Guilt.

It is so easy to get caught up in the guilt trap when you are delivered bad news. Guilt is a human fungus that will attack and make you think that somehow you could have done something to prevent the situation.

As women, and the nurtures, it is easy for us to try and take on the weight of the world. Avoid that trap at all cost. The feeling of guilt is heavy and will weigh you down, preventing you from thinking logically and being productive.

3. Pray for Peace.

Know and understand that God has a divine order and is in charge of the universe. Although it may seem that what has happened doesn’t make sense, know that He is the giver of life and all things. You have to rest in the peace of knowing that a perfect Father, is ultimately in control.

4. Stay emotionally balanced.

Understand that it is okay to feel emotions and reactions from the news. If it hurts, cry. If you are mad, feel the anger. These are normal emotions and you have to walk through them. Just don’t get stuck in those feelings. They will keep you from healing from the pain that bad news can bring.

5. This too will Pass.

This news, situation is only for a season. What seems to be the darkest hours will always get better. Ride out the storm. It will make you an incredible woman when it’s all said and done.

A few years ago, I was like many of you. I would go and go like the energizer bunny and one week would transition into another week without a break. It was hard to tell where one day began and another ended.

During that time, I was too exhausted to properly care for myself and my family, but through prayer and guidance I came to understand that I was in violation of Sabbath law. I began to cry and repent, and I made a commitment to seek out ways to practice and apply Sabbath principles my lifestyle and ministry. It’s been an interesting journey! I have discovered so many truths that enable me to live life to its fullest and enjoy the fruit of my labor without feelings of arduous dread.

Sabbath Keeping is uncluttered time and space to distance myself from the

Toni G. Alvarado, D.Min. | www.mskfoundation.org frenzied activities of the week. It is simply removing my body from circulation one day a week to allow for the quieting of the external and internal noises that hinders me from paying attention to the still small voice from within. This uncluttered time and space also serves to detach me from the people around me, so that they have a chance to rest and not look to me as their source of peace and direction, which tends to lead to manipulation or some secret pride within me.

One of the primary benefits of Sabbath Keeping is it allows time for me to reflect. Reflection is a very enlightening experience as I enter into contemplative prayer and vigils. It has the power to resolve the spiritual inertia – inner confusion, and lack of confidence in who I am and frees me from the routines to which I cling to for my identity. It also gives me the opportunity to offer these things back to God in praise and confession.

The relentless busyness of modern life has gravely impacted our souls. Trying to be obedient to self-imposed expectations, religious cultures and societal stereotypes, demanding jobs, challenging relatives and friends, tight schedules, questionable finances, and personal dreams and goals have caused stress and anxiety to become the norm in our lives.

One way to return to a place of peace and tranquility is to honor the rhythm between work and rest that is sure to refresh our souls. Sabbath is not a day off. It’s a time when we cease our daily labor to allow room for love, friendship, prayer, touch, singing and rest to be born in us, as we created time and space in our lives to be renewed.

www.wrightfg.com I was in a project status meeting once and the Vice President in charge was unhappy with my portion of a project. He just happened to be a “Brother”, with his power on his sleeve. He began to yell at me and throw inflammatory comments my way. While you don’t personally know me, I will tell you that I was raised a “Country Sista Girl”, and the last thing anyone would want is to do is yell at me PERIOD, especially in a public forum. As I sat in disbelief, I could feel my blood pressure rising and my temper about to explode. However, the Holy Spirit arrested me and said, “Shut up, Get up and Remove yourself from this situation.” I told the VP and the group that I needed to leave for a moment. The VP immediately said, “You aren’t going anywhere!” After my head spun around about 4 times, I had the presence of mind to say, “Yes, I am and it’s better for everyone here that I leave now.” I made it to the bathroom and gathered myself as I replayed what had just happened. I realized that I had avoided a near disaster.

I also realized how much I had grown in the Lord. There was a time when I would have handed him his dignity on a platter and then reported him to Human Resources. He needed power and I refused to give him mine!

Z-Note: Without me telling anyone word got out about the meeting. he was demoted and ended up as my He eventually had to come to me for position. God does have a way.

in HR or corporate leadership, the Unfortunately, for the “Brother VP”, peer about a year and a half later. assistance with his newly assigned

KEEP YOUR POWER AND GAIN THE VICTORY! NEVER GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY TO AN UNDESERVING INDIVIDUAL! Z-Coaching: Have you had a similar situation in the workplace? How did you handle it? Now that you’ve heard this story, will you handle things differently in the future? If so, how? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Courtney’s Z-Book Recommendation: When you have to have difficult conversations in your work or personal life, there is a way to do so and leave the other person whole. I used these skills throughout the latter part of my career and to this day. They will assist you in having challenging conversations with your superiors, peers, employees, husband, children or anyone! Read the book “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott and try the strategies. They really work!

RECESSION-PROOF

By Nicole D. Smith |

Just because the economy is taking a downturn doesn’t mean your wardrobe has to. Here are tips to being fashion-forward at a discounted price.

Last season is so IN The stores you love typically will have big sales several times throughout the year. With only a small amount of planning on your part, you can shop just a few times a year when the seasons change. For example, if your know Kenneth Cole is going to soon switch all of its merchandise from winter clothing to spring gear, then you also know there’s a good chance there may be a major sale. To rid itself of “last season” merchandise, stores often discount products heavily. Therefore the consumer can get take advantage of awesome deals, and at the same time, be ready for next year. If you don’t want to scour your local newspaper for these types of sales, just call the store directly and ask for details on upcoming sales.

The back puts you ahead Those beautiful displays in the store front windows may entice you to enter, but don’t stay in the front.

Make a habit to head straight to the back of the store. Why? That’s where all of the hard-to-find, tuckedaway discount racks are often placed. Not only will you be surprised at how large the discounts are (often times 70 percent or higher) but many of the clothing on these racks were proudly displayed in windows and the front of the store just a few weeks or months ago.

Be an Internet shopper Bricks and mortar are out. The Internet is here, and it’s here to stay, especially when it comes to shopping online. Many well-known clothing brands will not only offer sales online, but many of those sales are “online-only” markdowns. It is common to see special sections on a clothing store’s Web site dedicated to

F YOUR CLOSET NancyJan2@aol.com

sale-only or clearance items. Visit the Web sites of your favorite stores and clothing catalogs and look for online-only sales. Online coupons or promo codes are prolific as well. Just make sure excessive shipping charges do not turn your online deal into an online disappointment.

Outlet malls and stores are our friends Outlet stores frequently price slightly “irregular” items really low. Many times these defects are barely noticeable, if at all. Some outlets offer these types of discounts on high-quality clothing. Sometimes you will find merchandise that is made specifically for outlet stores and malls that are of inferior quality.

Others will sell clothing at a higher price than the regular retailers. Still, if you take the time to identify which outlets are hits and which are duds, you’ll soon find yourself in a discount utopia.

Discount retailers Have you visited discount retailers lately? A stroll through Ross Stores, T.J. Maxx, Marshalls, Kohl’s or Target might leave you pleasantly surprised. Many of the clothes in these stores are inexpensive compared to the shops in the malls. In these discount stores it’s not hard to find bags, jewelry, shoes and watches for reasonable prices.

Old looks like new When looking to tighten your clothes budget, Woolite may become your friend because using products like this will help you take care of the clothes you already have. Bring the old shirts, forgotten pants, and the “I haven’t worn those in forever” shoes back to life with a little tender love and care. Resole your shoes.

Reline your blazers and coats. Wash clothes with gentle soaps so that color will last longer. With a little effort, many abandoned items in your closet will come back to life.

(Special note: This article is taken from a message I delivered in a church in the Atlanta area. I believe it is a right now word for the Church of Jesus Christ . . . this is only part one. I pray it blesses your heart and begins to transform your life.)

There are many “firsts” in life. There’s the birth of your first child, your first job, how about your first car, the first house you bought or even . . . your first kiss! What firsts do you remember? Firsts in life are memorable, they make a lasting impression; they even sometimes become the standard by which we judge our subsequent experiences.

But did you know that there’s a “first” that Jesus wants us ALL as believers to engage in (and it may not be what you’re thinking)?

Let’s take a look at the book of Revelation. “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.” Revelation 2:2-3 (NKJV) In this text, the Lord starts off listing all of the tremendous accolades accomplished by the church at Ephesus. These believers were ‘A’ players! They were engaged, on the field (so to speak) and they were putting points on the board! Look at the list. Jesus said He knew their works! Stop. They had gotten the attention of JESUS! That’s impressive. He goes on to say, they labored, had patience (wow!

How many of us couldn’t even pass the patience test?). These church-goers couldn’t bear those who were evil; they tested APOSTLES and found them to be liars. Can you believe it? These folk were rockin’ it for the Kingdom of God! Jesus said they persevered and they weren’t even weary. This is a resume of all resumes in the Kingdom! Yet, Jesus dares to say something that is amazing after recounting all of the things the church was doing. And what He says completely blows my mind.

“Nevertheless,” Jesus says in Revelation 2:4, “I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” WHAT? Stop the presses! You mean to tell me that Jesus has the (can I say it) audacity to call out the church at Ephesus? Jesus actually has something against them, and that something is that they left their first LOVE! Are you joking? Don’t we normally associate “love” and the “in love” experience as a feminine or woman thing? Isn’t love and the romance and first love thing for girls? For silly women... for romantics?! And yet—JESUS—our King of kings and Lord of lords dares to call out the church at Ephesus and says to them I see, know and acknowledge your “A-GAME” status, you are rockin’ it for the Kingdom, YET, He says you’ve left your FIRST LOVE, and I want you to go back to it.

Wow.

Let’s talk briefly about first love. There’s nothing like it. First love is exquisite, it’s explosive.

When we are in love for the first time with someone, there are four T’s that I believe describe the experience.

4-T’s OF FIRST LOVE THOUGHTS: ALL of your thoughts are consumed with the person you are in love with.

You think about him/her every waking moment. You wonder what they’re doing, what they’re wearing, when you’ll see them again. Your mind is consumed with thoughts of them.

TIME : ALL the time you can spare, you are with your first love. You go out, do lunch, dinner, plan your schedule around theirs you sync your schedules, you spend and invest huge amounts of TIME. TOUCH: YOU want to feel—to touch— that person… your emotions are definitely locked into them. You want to hold hands. You want to “feel” something. You are touched deep in your heart and it is powerful.

TALK: FINALLY, you spend a great deal of time talking to and with that person.

Communication is never ending.

Lovey-dovey words fly between the two of you. Baby, pumpkin, sweetie, boo…words are endless and talk is golden when you are in love for the first time.

And this is what Jesus said the church at Ephesus was missing. They weren’t thinking about Him all the time; they weren’t spending quality time WITH Him; they certainly weren’t ‘feeling’ Him—being touched by their Lord and they most likely weren’t talking WITH Him. These believers (like us) were totally sold out to the WORK that they were doing FOR Christ, yet they weren’t in love (like first love) with their Savior.

Are you? (Look for the continuation of this article in the next issue of Zakar!)

Power Living

by t heBookwith Jennifer Keitt

Turning Tough Aroun

In January 2008, we moved into our dream house. Today, the builder is listing their remaining inventory at 10% to 25% less than what we paid for our home (and we had a good deal).

Recently, my wife’s employer shared with her the good news that she gets to keep her job. The bad news is that the job is in the Midwest. And as you know, the financial services industry is presenting its own set of opportunities. These are tough and trying times.

So what are the tough and the tried doing? The thing to do is to control the controllable. If you have a job, keep that job until something better comes along. If your spouse can’t find work in the area, look outside of the area. There may be a need to modify roles for a time. For example, my kids are here with me and I

get them to and from school, to their practices, dinner, baths, etc. I have even substituted at their school (God bless teachers!!!). Did I mention we have a for sale sign in front of the house right now? In addition to our unwavering faith, we are doing what we HAVE to do so we can eventually do what we want to do.

Recognize that although these are tough economic times, you still have the most powerful weapon on the planet. That is the Power of Choice. You can choose to take the victim or victor mentality. A victor would look at this as an opportunity to start their own company.

Why not partner up with a colleague or associate with a complimentary skill set and do your own thing?

Start a daily or weekly think tank to brainstorm on ideas that could change the world. For example, we are connected with two other couples that meet biweekly to brainstorm ideas that could transition us from employees to employers. The government with the stimulus package is putting billions of dollars into the economy. Would not life be different if you could get ½ of a percent of that? Now would be a GREAT time for an investment club. America is on sale. Why not go shopping with people you enjoy?

h Times nd Financially Troy Young

www.DestinyFG.com`

Life is full of stories of people that turned what appeared to be a tragedy into triumph. Don’t allow stinking thinking to detour you from reaching your destiny.

The meteorologist may forecast partly cloudy with a significant chance of rain. I would prefer to call it partly sunny and just keep an umbrella in the car. As a local Pastor reminds his congregation, “tough times do not last, but tough people do.” Or, as I saw on a message board at the Church down the street, “these are trying times…so keep trying”

Surviving a Layoff

Julian Pouncy

julian.pouncy@edwardjones.com

Here are some Z-strategies to help you survive a layoff: 1. Take notes and ask questions While the layoff conversation is still fresh in your mind, write down all the details about severance and benefits that were discussed. Double check your final compensation to verify the amount adheres to their commitment. Ask the employer to add the salary for any unused vacation days onto your final paycheck.

Ask about your company-paid health benefits. Losing your job usually means losing your health coverage. If you can’t sign onto a spouse’s employer-sponsored health plan, you may have to consider extending your previous coverage through COBRA or buying an individual policy. COBRA will eliminate the risk of being turned down due to a preexisting condition, but it’s expensive.

2. Quickly file for unemployment compensation It may take a few weeks for the first check to arrive, so you should quickly file for unemployment benefits, especially if you don’t receive a severance package. The rules vary by state, but those who are receiving severance, may still be entitled to unemployment benefits. In some cases, former employees may have to wait until their severance payments cease before they can receive unemployment benefits. The unemployment benefit is based on your old salary. Most states have a minimum and a maximum payout depending on your salary, but the average weekly check is $300.

3. Get a handle on monthly bills Use severance money to pay off debts such as mortgages, personal loans and credit cards. Make every attempt not to default on your debt because it will damage your credit rating. Consolidate credit cards. Try to transfer balances

from high interest cards to ones with lower interest rates. Or, call your credit card company to negotiate a lower rate. Cut food costs. Remember, you have to eat to survive and be fit to go out in search of another job. Every penny counts; shop at your nearest discount stores.

4. Consider Pooling Resources There’s power in numbers.

Sometimes it may make financial sense to pool resources. For instance, homeowners may benefit from renting out a room or basement to help pay the mortgage. Apartment dwellers can also save money by going the roommate route. Further, roommates can pool their funds to buy groceries and pay utilities. Be sure to do criminal background checks on any potential roommates.

5. Search for a new job Spend time fine tuning your resume, preparing for interviews, adding new skill sets related to your job profile and networking with people.

Some severance packages may include training. With white collar workers, most packages have outplacement services that will help update your resume and find you a new position. Reach out to contacts that may help you to land and interview. Contact a staffing service that can provide short term assignments. This will keep money coming in and also get you out of the house.

Back to ZeLf Care Basics Everywhere you turn, doom and gloom is being predicted. Stocks are down, housing prices are down and unemployment is up. We are working harder than ever to make ends meet and cutting back on as much as we can to stay afloat. Physicians report an increase in patients with high blood pressure, diabetes and weight related complications because people are dropping their healthy habits.

Now more than ever, it is important to keep your zelf care on the top of your list of things to do and in your budget. By managing stress through healthy habits you will be better equipped to move forward during this crisis. Join me, your Zelf Care Coach, in making a commitment to getting back to the basics of caring for yourself. Instead of eliminating some of the things I do to take care of myself, I found less expensive ways to do them.

The first thing I did was to bring the spa experience home by canceling my facial and nail appointments and doing them myself. We all know that stress can lead to breakouts so put your best face forward by giving yourself a facial every week. Cleanse your face, apply a mask and then moisturize your skin.

Instead of going out and paying someone to do your manicures and pedicures, invest in a few essential tools and products and do it yourself. To keep feet smooth between pedicures, use a pumice or foot scrub in the shower to exfoliate a few times a week.

Make your own spa bath with Epsom Salts and add an essential oil for aromatherapy. Try lavender or ylang ylang for relaxation, bergamot to uplift, eucalyptus to sooth muscles and support normal breathing or vetiver to calm. Listen to soothing music while soaking in the tub and meditate on positive thoughts. Release all the negative energy of the day and let it go.

If you want to have services provided by someone else, there is a way to still make this fit into your budget. You can get pampered on the cheap by getting your treatments at schools.

Many schools offer deeply discounted services to the public so their students can practice their trade. Search online to find the schools in your local area. I go to cosmetology and beauty schools for hair, nails and skin and massage schools for massage treatments.

It is a priority to feed my body the best food I can so I am preparing more fresh meals and snacks at home and not dining out as much.

Chips, cookies and crackers have been replaced with fresh fruit and vegetables. You can cut up celery and carrot sticks, put them in a baggy and take to work for a healthy, inexpensive snack.

Before going grocery shopping, I review the sale flyer and plan meals around what is on sale. Be sure to stock up on non perishable items that are on sale. I also shop at my local farmers market to get fresh, locally grown produce. These markets are usually cheaper than grocery stores and the quality is much better.

Instead of eating out, you can take a homemade healthy lunch to work. Buy a large container of pre-washed organic salad greens. Add celery, carrots, garbanzo beans and top with a homemade salad dressing made with olive oil and lemon juice.

The goal is to not let financial turmoil take a toll on your health and well being. Turn off the television and tune into your body, your mind and your spirit. This is a great time to get back to the basics and focus on what really matters – YOU! We will survive this crisis and come out of it better than we were before. Remember your health is your wealth!

The five Most Importa

A woman’s worth is a never ending journey of fulfillment, achievement and revelation. Both men and women play a part in determining that worth. Today we’re going to focus on your part.

There are five questions I’d like you to focus on as we seek to elevate women back to their rightful place of honor, respect and leadership.

1.) What’s Your Story? Everyone lives from a particular context, a story that is playing over and over in their head. What’s yours? Was it programmed in you from an early age that you had to dress a certain way? That looking “pretty” was an important part of your story? Were love and acceptance equated with being submissive and doing things you don’t want to do in order to make others happy? As you take a bold and courageous personal inventory of the origins and history of your story you will discover some aspects that work for you and others that disempower you. The beauty of this process is that you can rewrite your story! You can look at some other women that you respect and admire, find out about their stories and implement some of their strategies to improve your own.

ant Questions

Must ask

2.) What’s Your Vision? Where do you see yourself 5, 10, or 20 years from now?

What does the greatest version of yourself look like? It’s important to have a clear and specific vision because “where there is no vision, the people perish.” We know that the brain does not distinguish between what we imagine and what is real, and very often, what we visualize with concentrated effort does in fact materialize, so it may as well be a vision that benefits you and the community you serve.

3.) What’s Your Action? If you are committed to living up to your vision then a new set of actions must come along with that. What does that mean for you? Perhaps it means that instead of running one mile, you now run two. Instead of saving 10%, you now save and invest 20%. Instead of compromising your standards in a relationship just so you can have one, you raise your standards and do without, until what you want comes along. You may read more and talk less. You may earn more and spend less. You may give more and complain less. Your actions must be in alignment with the highest version of yourself.

4.) Who’s on Your Team? Anthony Robbins said “Your life will be a direct reflection of the expectation of your peers.” If you hang around 9 broke people, you will be number 10! If you spend time with 9 negative, toxic, poverty conscious people, you will be number 10! The people you choose to invest your time with will rub off on you. So who are they? How are they challenging you? How are they helping you stretch? How are they helping you grow? Or are they simply granting you the permission to stay the way you are?

5.) Are You Playing to Win or Not to Lose? Even in the midst of ongoing lay-offs, depleted retirement funds and massive company shutdowns, people are still running around chasing the great illusion of “security.” They want to play not to loose and because of that mentality, they are losing BIG! There are a number of women who do the same thing in regards to their perceived “roles.” A woman is subconsciously resistant to outshine her male companion out of fear of damaging his ego and hence losing him, so she downplays her accomplishments, doesn’t talk about them or worse- she engages in self sabotaging behavior. Some women will hold back because they don’t want to come off as too masculine, loud or “bitchy”, afraid they’re going to lose ground, respect or status. Again, that’s playing not to lose. You can be courageous, strong and confident while at the same time being classy, elegant and feminine. One does not exclude the other.

Dear Diary, Today as I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic I saw this billboard that said, “Live Your Dreams!” I’m really not sure why this sign caught my eye. I have driven past it a million times over the years and it NEVER stood out to me before this afternoon. Yet, today it almost seemed to tap on my car window and say “READ ME”!

You know, it just hit me! I STOPPED DREAMING and I stopped believing that MY VISION would ever become real.

Even as I write these words it seems very clear to me that I have quit my purpose.

WOW!!! How did it come to this?

I guess somewhere in my hustle and bustle of being wife, mother, etc. I just stopped doing my purpose. The needs of others around me coupled with the demands of my life issues have impinged upon my ability and energies necessary to actively pursue my purpose.

There must be other reasons I Quit Purpose. Well, if I’m really honest, I would say that my fears play a tremendous role in my quitting. I am afraid to fail because I don’t want people to think that I’m not smart enough, astute enough, etc to succeed in my endeavors.

Ultimately, I don’t wanna put myself out there and the whole thing crumble right before my eyes. So, my fear of failure has got to be addressed.

Next, I am afraid of NOT knowing how things will work out. I fear the Unknown because it is just that, UNKNOWN. Anything can happen when you aren’t clear and parts of my purpose are as clear as mud.

Something else to consider, I’m tired (physically, mentally & emotionally) and I’m sick of being tired (frustrated) so that definitely kills any passion I would have toward working my purpose.

Face it, I am frustrated by the crappy issues jumping off in my life (no job, less money, strained relationships, etc). Add to that the craziness of the people around me and finally my own inhibitions to move forward. So I’m fatigued because I feel beat down by all my “stuff”!

WAIT A MINUTE! I am sounding too much like a victim here. I am NOT gonna write down all this stuff just to whine about it. Everything I have written about, I HAVE A CHOICE to change it. Since I took the time to identify my obstacles, I now need to brainstorm some viable solutions. Let’s see, to reignite... no…RESURRECT my purpose, the first thing I need to do is: Steal Away – I gotta go to a place where I can focus on hearing what the Father is saying to me.

FACE IT, I cannot do this in my own power or might. I NEED GOD’S HELP! I’ll find my “QUIET PLACE” and I’m gonna take time out to settle “me” and hear God’s voice. Next, I think I need to…

Examine Myself – Just like I’m doing now, I need to keep asking the questions that help me to understand where I am and why I’m there. I must find out what got me here. I will continue taking inventory of all my strengths and weaknesses so that I can fortify myself for the challenges ahead. Maybe one last thing I can be committed to do is…

Rehearse Purpose – I must remind myself often of my purpose. Review it frequently so that confidence in my purpose can increase. I can create a dream board with the images that will reignite my passion toward my purpose.

Oh Yeah! My passion for purpose is making a “COME BACK”!

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