ION Arizona Magazine 102 December '09

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THE LEATHERMEN

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THE LEATHERMEN

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2009. Gone, but not forgotten. Can you believe 2009 is coming to an end? Where has the time gone? It’s been a rollercoaster year. We’ve lost a lot, learned a lot and we’ve all grown together. This year was bittersweet for us at ION. Our friend and part time contributor, Victor Martin, lost his battle with HIV/AIDS. He wasn’t the first friend we lost and, sadly, he probably won’t be the last. No matter how bad things got, however, Victor always had a smile and his unique laugh. On the bright side, in 2010, ION will be working closely with the Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS. Our goal is to help educate our community how to live a full, successful and healthy life with HIV and AIDS. There are great programs and support groups available at the Southwest Center. We’ve also just renewed our commitment for 2010 with Project Hard Hat. This non-profit organization is responsible for providing the Gay community with FREE condoms. Look for the yellow hard hat for your free condoms at bars statewide. A complete list of locations is listed on the ION Bar Guide on page 70. If you play, play safe. There are other sports many of us play outside the bedroom. This year ION Arizona formed two volleyball teams: The ION Party Penguins, our fun, recreational team, and the ION Knights, our more competitive team. Participating in sports breeds friendships, unity and growth. We’re very excited to announce that we have partnered with the Phoenix Hellraisers flag football team to be the official local media sponsor of the national Gay Bowl X coming to Phoenix in October 2010. This event will host over 2,000 athletes in Phoenix for the first time. This month we’ve produced our biggest Holiday Entertainment Guide ever. There’s so much going on in and out of the clubs. We’ve 20

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added holiday shows, concerts, highlighted local restaurants as well as all ION’s advertising bars’ and nightclubs’ special events. So celebrate the holidays, your friends and our great community this holiday season with some help from your friends at ION Arizona. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Detective Tambra Williams, a special friend and a tireless community leader, as she “steps down” as the GLBT community’s liaison at the Phoenix Police Department. Tambra has worked tirelessly encouraging people and organizations to work together. I’m sure we’ll continue to see Tambra work for our common goal of equality and togetherness within the Phoenix Police Department. This year we began sponsoring monthly contests to win great prizes. Already we have given away Wizard of Oz, 17 Again, Rhoda and Designing Women DVDs and box sets, tickets to Cirque du Soleil, as well as the book Queers in History. This month we are giving away five two-disc 70th Anniversary edition DVDs of the newly restored classic Gone with the Wind, and tickets to see “American Stars in Concert” featuring finalists from the hit TV show American Idol at the Mesa Art Theatre. To enter these exciting contests, be sure to check out every issue of ION, go to our website or sign up for our weekly e-mail blasts. Now 2010 is coming. It’s the end of a decade. What are your goals and resolutions for the New Year? What are you going to do to improve yourself, your friendships, your community? It all starts with you. Make the best of it. From all of us here at ION Arizona, have a fun, safe holiday season and a Happy New Year! Jack M. Tesorero Publisher December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 21


2009. Gone, but not forgotten. Can you believe 2009 is coming to an end? Where has the time gone? It’s been a rollercoaster year. We’ve lost a lot, learned a lot and we’ve all grown together. This year was bittersweet for us at ION. Our friend and part time contributor, Victor Martin, lost his battle with HIV/AIDS. He wasn’t the first friend we lost and, sadly, he probably won’t be the last. No matter how bad things got, however, Victor always had a smile and his unique laugh. On the bright side, in 2010, ION will be working closely with the Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS. Our goal is to help educate our community how to live a full, successful and healthy life with HIV and AIDS. There are great programs and support groups available at the Southwest Center. We’ve also just renewed our commitment for 2010 with Project Hard Hat. This non-profit organization is responsible for providing the Gay community with FREE condoms. Look for the yellow hard hat for your free condoms at bars statewide. A complete list of locations is listed on the ION Bar Guide on page 70. If you play, play safe. There are other sports many of us play outside the bedroom. This year ION Arizona formed two volleyball teams: The ION Party Penguins, our fun, recreational team, and the ION Knights, our more competitive team. Participating in sports breeds friendships, unity and growth. We’re very excited to announce that we have partnered with the Phoenix Hellraisers flag football team to be the official local media sponsor of the national Gay Bowl X coming to Phoenix in October 2010. This event will host over 2,000 athletes in Phoenix for the first time. This month we’ve produced our biggest Holiday Entertainment Guide ever. There’s so much going on in and out of the clubs. We’ve 20

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added holiday shows, concerts, highlighted local restaurants as well as all ION’s advertising bars’ and nightclubs’ special events. So celebrate the holidays, your friends and our great community this holiday season with some help from your friends at ION Arizona. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Detective Tambra Williams, a special friend and a tireless community leader, as she “steps down” as the GLBT community’s liaison at the Phoenix Police Department. Tambra has worked tirelessly encouraging people and organizations to work together. I’m sure we’ll continue to see Tambra work for our common goal of equality and togetherness within the Phoenix Police Department. This year we began sponsoring monthly contests to win great prizes. Already we have given away Wizard of Oz, 17 Again, Rhoda and Designing Women DVDs and box sets, tickets to Cirque du Soleil, as well as the book Queers in History. This month we are giving away five two-disc 70th Anniversary edition DVDs of the newly restored classic Gone with the Wind, and tickets to see “American Stars in Concert” featuring finalists from the hit TV show American Idol at the Mesa Art Theatre. To enter these exciting contests, be sure to check out every issue of ION, go to our website or sign up for our weekly e-mail blasts. Now 2010 is coming. It’s the end of a decade. What are your goals and resolutions for the New Year? What are you going to do to improve yourself, your friendships, your community? It all starts with you. Make the best of it. From all of us here at ION Arizona, have a fun, safe holiday season and a Happy New Year! Jack M. Tesorero Publisher December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 21


ION ARIZONA STUDIO 3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

PUBLISHER

Jack M. Tesorero - Ext. 5 ........... jacktesorero@me.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com EDITOR AND CONTENT CZAR Deon Brown - Ext. 3 .................. ionazeditor@me.com PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com IONAZTV DIRECTOR Mike Chesworth ...................... chesworthmd@me.com PRODUCTION & ARTWORK ionazproduction@me.com ADVERTISING SALES Jorge Suarez, Ext 2 ..................... ionazsales@me.com PHOTOGRAPHERS:

Jerry O’Conner Kurtis Scholz

Don Thompson Michael Chesworth

Cover Photo by Jerry O’Conner & Kevin Bushaw NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS:

Corey Blanchette Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly

Ted Kirby David Alan Maxey Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez

TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS, CALL (602) 308-4662 Published monthly by

© 2009 Tesorero Omni Media

a JMT Designs, Inc. company

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN THE USA

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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ION ARIZONA STUDIO 3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

PUBLISHER

Jack M. Tesorero - Ext. 5 ........... jacktesorero@me.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com EDITOR AND CONTENT CZAR Deon Brown - Ext. 3 .................. ionazeditor@me.com PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com IONAZTV DIRECTOR Mike Chesworth ...................... chesworthmd@me.com PRODUCTION & ARTWORK ionazproduction@me.com ADVERTISING SALES Jorge Suarez, Ext 2 ..................... ionazsales@me.com PHOTOGRAPHERS:

Jerry O’Conner Kurtis Scholz

Don Thompson Michael Chesworth

Cover Photo by Jerry O’Conner & Kevin Bushaw NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS:

Corey Blanchette Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly

Ted Kirby David Alan Maxey Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez

TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS, CALL (602) 308-4662 Published monthly by

© 2009 Tesorero Omni Media

a JMT Designs, Inc. company

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN THE USA

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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AMSTERDAM BAR

KIKI’S 4TH ANNIVERSARY

MISS AMSTERDAM PAGEANT

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AMSTERDAM BAR

KIKI’S 4TH ANNIVERSARY

MISS AMSTERDAM PAGEANT

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Hamburger Mary’s Reunion Remember the delicious, hot food and the prompt, attentive service our Hamburger Mary’s was always so famous for? Well, weep no more, Marys! At last, you can relive all those great memories – if not the fabulous “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Burger” – at the 1st Annual Hamburger Mary’s Reunion at The Rock! It all happens on Friday, December 12. We’ll see you at 4129 N. 7th Ave. Phone: 602248-8559

1in10 Talent Show

Time to practice the saxophone, tap dancing, or your ventriloquist act! It’s the 1in10 Festivus Fantasticus Talent Show Competition! It all takes place on Thursday, December 17 from 6-9 p.m. at the Community Church of Hope. Judges include Barbra Seville, Afeelya Bunz and Neveah. Rumor has it Miley Cyrus was discovered here. Seriously. 4121 N. 7th Ave. Phone: 602-475-7456

Mustache Ride

Hop on for a ride you’ll never forget! Come to icepics videobar the first Tuesday of every month for a hella good time starting January 5. There’s hot go-go boys, two DJs spinning the hottest music from NYC, socialite whores, cheap drinks, no cover and more. The only thing missing is a razor and shaving cream. 3108 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-267-8707. Beards or cleanshaven. It’s all good.

Holiday Events Everywhere!

“Ding-dong, merrily on high!” You’ll be hearing jingle bells – in addition to Lady Gaga – all season long! Your favorite bars, and nightclubs are all having lots of special parties and events this Holiday Season, with celebrity appearances, giveaways, specials and much more! Check out your favorite hotspot’s ad and see what’s going on or flip to our handy dandy Holiday Countdown on page 70.

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DECEMBER 2009 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE EVENT & LOCATION CITY Check out bar and nightclub ads in this issue for daily & weekly specials! 4 Vaquero Fridays every Fri. at Karamba Phoenix 11&18 Solstice Winter Fantasy at Cherry Lounge Phoenix 11 & 12 Stripper Pole Olympics at Dick’s & Dick’s II Phoenix 12 manads.com party at Woody’s Tucson 12 Hamburger Mary’s Reunion at The Rock Phoenix 13 AGRA 25th Annversary Party at Charlie’s Phoenix 15 Imperial Sovereign Court Show at Charlie’s Phoenix 16 Thalia CD Release Party at Karamba Phoenix 17 1in10 Talent Show at Church of Hope Phoenix 18 Johnny McGovern at Forbidden Scottsdale 19 Nightmare Before Xmas at BS West Scottsdale 19 Black Party at Karamba Phoenix 20 Miss Coco Peru at Forbidden Scottsdale 25 GLOW Party at Forbidden Scottsdale

JANUARY 5 Mustache Ride at icepics

Phoenix December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 27


Hamburger Mary’s Reunion Remember the delicious, hot food and the prompt, attentive service our Hamburger Mary’s was always so famous for? Well, weep no more, Marys! At last, you can relive all those great memories – if not the fabulous “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Burger” – at the 1st Annual Hamburger Mary’s Reunion at The Rock! It all happens on Friday, December 12. We’ll see you at 4129 N. 7th Ave. Phone: 602248-8559

1in10 Talent Show

Time to practice the saxophone, tap dancing, or your ventriloquist act! It’s the 1in10 Festivus Fantasticus Talent Show Competition! It all takes place on Thursday, December 17 from 6-9 p.m. at the Community Church of Hope. Judges include Barbra Seville, Afeelya Bunz and Neveah. Rumor has it Miley Cyrus was discovered here. Seriously. 4121 N. 7th Ave. Phone: 602-475-7456

Mustache Ride

Hop on for a ride you’ll never forget! Come to icepics videobar the first Tuesday of every month for a hella good time starting January 5. There’s hot go-go boys, two DJs spinning the hottest music from NYC, socialite whores, cheap drinks, no cover and more. The only thing missing is a razor and shaving cream. 3108 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-267-8707. Beards or cleanshaven. It’s all good.

Holiday Events Everywhere!

“Ding-dong, merrily on high!” You’ll be hearing jingle bells – in addition to Lady Gaga – all season long! Your favorite bars, and nightclubs are all having lots of special parties and events this Holiday Season, with celebrity appearances, giveaways, specials and much more! Check out your favorite hotspot’s ad and see what’s going on or flip to our handy dandy Holiday Countdown on page 70.

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DECEMBER 2009 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE EVENT & LOCATION CITY Check out bar and nightclub ads in this issue for daily & weekly specials! 4 Vaquero Fridays every Fri. at Karamba Phoenix 11&18 Solstice Winter Fantasy at Cherry Lounge Phoenix 11 & 12 Stripper Pole Olympics at Dick’s & Dick’s II Phoenix 12 manads.com party at Woody’s Tucson 12 Hamburger Mary’s Reunion at The Rock Phoenix 13 AGRA 25th Annversary Party at Charlie’s Phoenix 15 Imperial Sovereign Court Show at Charlie’s Phoenix 16 Thalia CD Release Party at Karamba Phoenix 17 1in10 Talent Show at Church of Hope Phoenix 18 Johnny McGovern at Forbidden Scottsdale 19 Nightmare Before Xmas at BS West Scottsdale 19 Black Party at Karamba Phoenix 20 Miss Coco Peru at Forbidden Scottsdale 25 GLOW Party at Forbidden Scottsdale

JANUARY 5 Mustache Ride at icepics

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Spirit of the Season Join the suave, debonair and heartbreakingly handsome Jeffrey Hattrick for an evening of holiday music and seasonal warmth performed only the way Jeffrey and accompanist Nicole Pesce can. Ring in the holidays with them on Monday, December 14 at the Herberger Theater, 222 E. Monroe St. 602-252-8497 or catch them at the Ritz-Carlton for Yuletide Tea 602-468-0700

American Stars in Concert Four of the top ten finalists from the phenomenally popular TV show American Idol take the stage at Mesa Arts Center Ikeda Theater on Saturday, December 12 for an intimate evening of holiday music, featuring the Valley’s very own AI finalist, David Hernandez. 1 E. Main St. in downtown Mesa. Tix: 480-644-6500 or MesaArtsCenter.com. Sorry, no crazy Paula Abdul.

Tamale Festival It ain’t Taco Bell, chicos! Join in this unique tradition brought to us from our friendly neighbors south of the Border. Handmade tamales from around the Valley will be available at the Cesar Chavez Plaza just in time for the holidays on December 12 & 13. It’s the love that makes them taste so good. You’ll also find Latin-American arts & crafts and entertainment. 201W. Washington. St. Phoenix. Info: 602-279-4669

Zoo Lights “Silent Night ... ” well, except for the blood-curdling screams of the howler monkeys and roaring from the big cat house piercing the winter air. That what makes ZooLights so special. Come to the Phoenix Zoo through January 11, 2010 to see this extraordinary display of lights in the largest privately funded zoo in America. 455 N. Galvin Pkwy. 602-273-1341 or visit www.PhoenixZoo.org

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Wish Upon A Star - PMMC Don’t miss the Grand Canyon Performing Arts spectacular holiday experience with traditional and not-so-traditional favorites that will light up the season for you. Enjoy an evening – or matinee – of music and song that’ll warm the cockles of your heart from December 18-20 at the John Paul Theater at Phoenix Community College. 1202 E. Thomas Rd. Tickets at ShowUpTix.com

DECEMBER 2009 ION HOLIDAY EVENTS DATE

EVENT & LOCATION

CITY

CONTACT

1-30 Yuletide Tea at the Ritz Phoenix 602-468-0700 3-23 “A Christmas Carol” - Hale Ctr. Theatre Gilbert 480-497-1181 3-30 Noches de las Luminarias - Des. Bot. Gardens Phoenix 480-941-1255 4-6 Holiday Pops - Phx. Symphony Hall Phoenix 602-495-1999 5 Electric Light Parade Phoenix N/A 5 GPGLCC Festival of Trees - Sdale Hilton Scottsdale 602-266-5055 6 Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Jobing.com Arena Glendale 800-745-3000 6 Kenny Thomas - Radisson Hotel Phoenix 6 Chandler Parade of Lights Chandler4 80-782-2735 9 Neil Diamond Christmas - B’way Palm Theatre Mesa 480-325-6700 9 Sara Evans - Mesa Arts Ctr. Mesa 480-644-6500 11 Christmas Carol w/ Cantemus - Trinity Cath. Phoenix 602-936-9120 11-27 Ballet Arizona - The Nutcracker - Symph. Hall Phoenix 602-381-1096 12 American Stars Concert - Mesa Arts Ctr. Mesa 480-644-6500 12-20 Orpheus Male Chorus Holiday Concert orpheus.org 12-24 Actor’s Theatre “A Christmas Carol” Phoenix 602-252-8497 12 Christmas Mariachi Festival - US Airways Phoenix 800-745-3000 12-13 Tamale Festival - Cesar Chavez Plaza Phoenix 602-279-4669 13 Tempe Town Lake Boat Parade Tempe 480-921-2300 13 Collin Raye Christmas - Celebrity Theatre Phoenix 602-267-1600 14 Jeffrey Hattrick - Herberger Phoenix 602-252-8497 14-18 Lunch Time Theatre: B’way Holidays-Herberger Phoenix 602-252-8497 16-20 Handel’s Messiah by Candlelight Valleywide 602-495-1999 17-19 Holiday Traditions: Phx Boys Choir Valleywide 602-264-5328 17-20 Shirley Jones Christmas Show - Wild Horse Chandler 800-WIN-GILA 18 Alice Cooper’s Christmas Pudding - Dodge Theatre 602-379-2888 18-20 Wish Upon A Star: Phx. Men’s Choir - Phx. College showuptix.com 18-22 Home for the Holidays: Phx Chorale Valleywide 602-253-2224 19 John Doan’s Victorian Christmas-Kerr Ctr. Scottsdale 866-448-7849 21 Winter Solstice - Irish Cultural Ctr. Phoenix 602-258-0109 22 Moscow Ballet’s Russian Nutcracker - Dodge Theatre 602-379-2888 22 Smooth Jazz Christmas - Mesa Arts Center Mesa 480-644-6500 31 New Year’s Eve - Phoenix Symphony Phoenix 866-448-7849 thru 31 Cowboy Christmas at Rawhide Chandler 480-502-5600 thru 31 Christmas Jukebox - Copperstate Theatre Phoenix thru 1/11 ZooLights - Phx. Zoo Phoenix 602-273-1341 thru 1/17 Glendale Glitters Glendale 623-930-4500 December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 29


Spirit of the Season Join the suave, debonair and heartbreakingly handsome Jeffrey Hattrick for an evening of holiday music and seasonal warmth performed only the way Jeffrey and accompanist Nicole Pesce can. Ring in the holidays with them on Monday, December 14 at the Herberger Theater, 222 E. Monroe St. 602-252-8497 or catch them at the Ritz-Carlton for Yuletide Tea 602-468-0700

American Stars in Concert Four of the top ten finalists from the phenomenally popular TV show American Idol take the stage at Mesa Arts Center Ikeda Theater on Saturday, December 12 for an intimate evening of holiday music, featuring the Valley’s very own AI finalist, David Hernandez. 1 E. Main St. in downtown Mesa. Tix: 480-644-6500 or MesaArtsCenter.com. Sorry, no crazy Paula Abdul.

Tamale Festival It ain’t Taco Bell, chicos! Join in this unique tradition brought to us from our friendly neighbors south of the Border. Handmade tamales from around the Valley will be available at the Cesar Chavez Plaza just in time for the holidays on December 12 & 13. It’s the love that makes them taste so good. You’ll also find Latin-American arts & crafts and entertainment. 201W. Washington. St. Phoenix. Info: 602-279-4669

Zoo Lights “Silent Night ... ” well, except for the blood-curdling screams of the howler monkeys and roaring from the big cat house piercing the winter air. That what makes ZooLights so special. Come to the Phoenix Zoo through January 11, 2010 to see this extraordinary display of lights in the largest privately funded zoo in America. 455 N. Galvin Pkwy. 602-273-1341 or visit www.PhoenixZoo.org

28 WWW.IONAZ.COM WWW.IONAZ.COM December December 2009 2009 28

Wish Upon A Star - PMMC Don’t miss the Grand Canyon Performing Arts spectacular holiday experience with traditional and not-so-traditional favorites that will light up the season for you. Enjoy an evening – or matinee – of music and song that’ll warm the cockles of your heart from December 18-20 at the John Paul Theater at Phoenix Community College. 1202 E. Thomas Rd. Tickets at ShowUpTix.com

DECEMBER 2009 ION HOLIDAY EVENTS DATE

EVENT & LOCATION

CITY

CONTACT

1-30 Yuletide Tea at the Ritz Phoenix 602-468-0700 3-23 “A Christmas Carol” - Hale Ctr. Theatre Gilbert 480-497-1181 3-30 Noches de las Luminarias - Des. Bot. Gardens Phoenix 480-941-1255 4-6 Holiday Pops - Phx. Symphony Hall Phoenix 602-495-1999 5 Electric Light Parade Phoenix N/A 5 GPGLCC Festival of Trees - Sdale Hilton Scottsdale 602-266-5055 6 Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Jobing.com Arena Glendale 800-745-3000 6 Kenny Thomas - Radisson Hotel Phoenix 6 Chandler Parade of Lights Chandler4 80-782-2735 9 Neil Diamond Christmas - B’way Palm Theatre Mesa 480-325-6700 9 Sara Evans - Mesa Arts Ctr. Mesa 480-644-6500 11 Christmas Carol w/ Cantemus - Trinity Cath. Phoenix 602-936-9120 11-27 Ballet Arizona - The Nutcracker - Symph. Hall Phoenix 602-381-1096 12 American Stars Concert - Mesa Arts Ctr. Mesa 480-644-6500 12-20 Orpheus Male Chorus Holiday Concert orpheus.org 12-24 Actor’s Theatre “A Christmas Carol” Phoenix 602-252-8497 12 Christmas Mariachi Festival - US Airways Phoenix 800-745-3000 12-13 Tamale Festival - Cesar Chavez Plaza Phoenix 602-279-4669 13 Tempe Town Lake Boat Parade Tempe 480-921-2300 13 Collin Raye Christmas - Celebrity Theatre Phoenix 602-267-1600 14 Jeffrey Hattrick - Herberger Phoenix 602-252-8497 14-18 Lunch Time Theatre: B’way Holidays-Herberger Phoenix 602-252-8497 16-20 Handel’s Messiah by Candlelight Valleywide 602-495-1999 17-19 Holiday Traditions: Phx Boys Choir Valleywide 602-264-5328 17-20 Shirley Jones Christmas Show - Wild Horse Chandler 800-WIN-GILA 18 Alice Cooper’s Christmas Pudding - Dodge Theatre 602-379-2888 18-20 Wish Upon A Star: Phx. Men’s Choir - Phx. College showuptix.com 18-22 Home for the Holidays: Phx Chorale Valleywide 602-253-2224 19 John Doan’s Victorian Christmas-Kerr Ctr. Scottsdale 866-448-7849 21 Winter Solstice - Irish Cultural Ctr. Phoenix 602-258-0109 22 Moscow Ballet’s Russian Nutcracker - Dodge Theatre 602-379-2888 22 Smooth Jazz Christmas - Mesa Arts Center Mesa 480-644-6500 31 New Year’s Eve - Phoenix Symphony Phoenix 866-448-7849 thru 31 Cowboy Christmas at Rawhide Chandler 480-502-5600 thru 31 Christmas Jukebox - Copperstate Theatre Phoenix thru 1/11 ZooLights - Phx. Zoo Phoenix 602-273-1341 thru 1/17 Glendale Glitters Glendale 623-930-4500 December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 29


iTheatre’s Holiday Cabaret Join in on the festivities with iTheatre Collaborative for their annual Holiday Cabaret featuring songs of the season with some of the best vocal talent in the Valley. A holiday favorite for over six years, experience this funny, touching and heartwarming cabaret without any smoke. Herberger Theater Center 222 E. Monroe St. Phoenix. Get tix at 602-252-8497 or at www.itheatreAZ.org.

Shirley Jones Christmas Show You loved her on Broadway, movies, and now, TV’s original MILF — “Shirley Partridge” — is the current First Lady of American Song. So she says. Come see her perform her special Christmas show at the new Ovations Showroom at the Wild Horse Pass Hotel & Casino, December 17-20, just up the road from Rawhide. 5040 Wild Horse Pass Blvd., Chandler. 800-WIN-GILA.

Christmas Pudding Nothing says “Christmas” — or Hanukkah — like a show from one of rock ‘n’ roll’s baddest of the bad boys. Gone are the guillotines, electric chairs, and boa constrictors, but his annual Christmas Pudding is a Valley mainstay in Holiday rocker entertainment. Catch it at the Dodge Theatre: 400 W. Washington St. www.LiveNation.com or call 602-379-2888

CHERRY LOUNGE - TEMPE

DECEMBER 2009 ION CONCERT CALENDAR DATE ARTIST / EVENT 4 6 6 7 10-21 12 12 15 17 17-20 18-20 18 19 20 22 28 31 31

Flo Rida Trans-Siberian Orchestra The Fab Four Less Than Jake iTheatre’s Holiday Cabaret American Stars in Concert Old School Jingle Ball Jam w/ Cameo Christmas Rocks! w/ Brian Setzer Eddie Money Accoustic Christmas Shirley Jones Christmas Show Wish Upon A Star: Phx Men’s Chorus Alice Cooper’s Christmas Pudding Wyndham Hill Winter Solstice Toby Mac Dave Koz: Smooth Christmas Jazz Reverend Horton Heat Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers New Year’s Eve w/ Phx. Symphony

LOCATION

Celebrity Theatre Jobing.com Arena Celebrity Theatre Marquee Theatre Herberger Theater Ctr. Mesa Arts Center Celebrity Theatre Dodge Theatre Celebrity Theatre Gila River Casino Phx College Dodge Theatre Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts US Airways Ctr. Mesa Arts Center Marquee Theatre Celebrity Theatre Symphony Hall

602-267-1600 602-772-3200 602-267-1600 480-829-0607 602-252-8497 480-644-6500 602-267-1600 602-379-2888 602-267-1600 800-WIN-GILA showuptix.com 602-379-2888 480-994ARTS 800-745-3000 480-644-6500 480-829-0607 602-267-1600 602-495-1999

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iTheatre’s Holiday Cabaret Join in on the festivities with iTheatre Collaborative for their annual Holiday Cabaret featuring songs of the season with some of the best vocal talent in the Valley. A holiday favorite for over six years, experience this funny, touching and heartwarming cabaret without any smoke. Herberger Theater Center 222 E. Monroe St. Phoenix. Get tix at 602-252-8497 or at www.itheatreAZ.org.

Shirley Jones Christmas Show You loved her on Broadway, movies, and now, TV’s original MILF — “Shirley Partridge” — is the current First Lady of American Song. So she says. Come see her perform her special Christmas show at the new Ovations Showroom at the Wild Horse Pass Hotel & Casino, December 17-20, just up the road from Rawhide. 5040 Wild Horse Pass Blvd., Chandler. 800-WIN-GILA.

Christmas Pudding Nothing says “Christmas” — or Hanukkah — like a show from one of rock ‘n’ roll’s baddest of the bad boys. Gone are the guillotines, electric chairs, and boa constrictors, but his annual Christmas Pudding is a Valley mainstay in Holiday rocker entertainment. Catch it at the Dodge Theatre: 400 W. Washington St. www.LiveNation.com or call 602-379-2888

CHERRY LOUNGE - TEMPE

DECEMBER 2009 ION CONCERT CALENDAR DATE ARTIST / EVENT 4 6 6 7 10-21 12 12 15 17 17-20 18-20 18 19 20 22 28 31 31

Flo Rida Trans-Siberian Orchestra The Fab Four Less Than Jake iTheatre’s Holiday Cabaret American Stars in Concert Old School Jingle Ball Jam w/ Cameo Christmas Rocks! w/ Brian Setzer Eddie Money Accoustic Christmas Shirley Jones Christmas Show Wish Upon A Star: Phx Men’s Chorus Alice Cooper’s Christmas Pudding Wyndham Hill Winter Solstice Toby Mac Dave Koz: Smooth Christmas Jazz Reverend Horton Heat Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers New Year’s Eve w/ Phx. Symphony

LOCATION

Celebrity Theatre Jobing.com Arena Celebrity Theatre Marquee Theatre Herberger Theater Ctr. Mesa Arts Center Celebrity Theatre Dodge Theatre Celebrity Theatre Gila River Casino Phx College Dodge Theatre Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts US Airways Ctr. Mesa Arts Center Marquee Theatre Celebrity Theatre Symphony Hall

602-267-1600 602-772-3200 602-267-1600 480-829-0607 602-252-8497 480-644-6500 602-267-1600 602-379-2888 602-267-1600 800-WIN-GILA showuptix.com 602-379-2888 480-994ARTS 800-745-3000 480-644-6500 480-829-0607 602-267-1600 602-495-1999

Photos by Kurtis Scholz 30

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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 31


by Jackson David Kelly davekjackson@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? Happy Holidays to you all. Crazy to think the “Teens” are just around the corner. Heck, I’m still stuck in the 90s! Let’s all hope the music biz stays strong with its evolution and continues to bring us great tunes. For this month, check out new material from A Iraheta, R Kelly, Thalia, Enya (best of), 30 Seconds to Mars, Snoop, Chris Brown, Jamie Foxx and a tentative new disc from Usher as well as …

Chicane Best Of

Plain and simple – this is a “must have.” Chicane’s first hit, “Saltwater,” featuring Moya (Enya’s sister) put him on the map. To date there hasn’t been one disappointment. Now having a collection of his best is truly a gift for this holiday season. Tracks of note include “Spirit” with. Jewel, “Wake Up” with Keane and “Don’t Give Up” with Bryan Adams. Additionally, find two of my personal favorites that invoke great emotion: “Come Tomorrow” and “No Ordinary Morning.” From start to finish, this is as perfect as it gets.

Adam Lambert

For Your Entertainment After hearing the artistic freedom of Lambert’s debut, it’s probably a good thing he didn’t win American Idol (not to mention that his CD cover would’ve never got the green light). It’s packed with superstar credit (Red One, Perry, Kara) and shines brilliantly. Though the lead single proves safe, it’s on the haunting “Soaked” and soaring “Broken” 32

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

where he really sounds best in addition to “Loaded” where he channels a bit of Thom Yorke. And then there’s “Music Again”, a track mashed with Queen and Muse. Overall it’s a great disc and introduction to a superstar in the making.

Timbaland Shock Value II

After an initial release of November 2008, this project finally sees light. However, the rumored collaborations with Beyoncé, Gwen, Lady Gaga and Madonna never make the final cut. But find comfort in Timberlake’s heavily urbanized “Carry Out” as well as the atypical Furtado track “Morning After Dark.” Furthermore, find 15 other tracks with support from Keri Hilson, Brandy, Daughtry, Drake and One Republic as well as the sleek “Undertow” featuring The Fray. Overall, it’s not as groundbreaking as his first but considering everyone has used the Timba express it’s good to see he’s still creative.

TOP ALBUMS of 2009

Stay tuned for January’s issue and my top 10 singles of 2009 #1 – Foot of the Mountain - A-ha #2 – Ellipse - Imogen Heap #3 – Scars - Basement Jaxx #4 – Yes - Pet Shop Boys #5 – City of Black & Blue - Mat Kearney #6 – Love Save the Empty - Erin McCarley #7 – It’s Not Me - Lily Allen #8 – One Love - David Guetta #9 – Anjulie - Anjulie #10 – For Your Entertainment - Adam Lambert

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 33


by Jackson David Kelly davekjackson@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? Happy Holidays to you all. Crazy to think the “Teens” are just around the corner. Heck, I’m still stuck in the 90s! Let’s all hope the music biz stays strong with its evolution and continues to bring us great tunes. For this month, check out new material from A Iraheta, R Kelly, Thalia, Enya (best of), 30 Seconds to Mars, Snoop, Chris Brown, Jamie Foxx and a tentative new disc from Usher as well as …

Chicane Best Of

Plain and simple – this is a “must have.” Chicane’s first hit, “Saltwater,” featuring Moya (Enya’s sister) put him on the map. To date there hasn’t been one disappointment. Now having a collection of his best is truly a gift for this holiday season. Tracks of note include “Spirit” with. Jewel, “Wake Up” with Keane and “Don’t Give Up” with Bryan Adams. Additionally, find two of my personal favorites that invoke great emotion: “Come Tomorrow” and “No Ordinary Morning.” From start to finish, this is as perfect as it gets.

Adam Lambert

For Your Entertainment After hearing the artistic freedom of Lambert’s debut, it’s probably a good thing he didn’t win American Idol (not to mention that his CD cover would’ve never got the green light). It’s packed with superstar credit (Red One, Perry, Kara) and shines brilliantly. Though the lead single proves safe, it’s on the haunting “Soaked” and soaring “Broken” 32

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

where he really sounds best in addition to “Loaded” where he channels a bit of Thom Yorke. And then there’s “Music Again”, a track mashed with Queen and Muse. Overall it’s a great disc and introduction to a superstar in the making.

Timbaland Shock Value II

After an initial release of November 2008, this project finally sees light. However, the rumored collaborations with Beyoncé, Gwen, Lady Gaga and Madonna never make the final cut. But find comfort in Timberlake’s heavily urbanized “Carry Out” as well as the atypical Furtado track “Morning After Dark.” Furthermore, find 15 other tracks with support from Keri Hilson, Brandy, Daughtry, Drake and One Republic as well as the sleek “Undertow” featuring The Fray. Overall, it’s not as groundbreaking as his first but considering everyone has used the Timba express it’s good to see he’s still creative.

TOP ALBUMS of 2009

Stay tuned for January’s issue and my top 10 singles of 2009 #1 – Foot of the Mountain - A-ha #2 – Ellipse - Imogen Heap #3 – Scars - Basement Jaxx #4 – Yes - Pet Shop Boys #5 – City of Black & Blue - Mat Kearney #6 – Love Save the Empty - Erin McCarley #7 – It’s Not Me - Lily Allen #8 – One Love - David Guetta #9 – Anjulie - Anjulie #10 – For Your Entertainment - Adam Lambert

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 33


Elements, Fridays at BS West An all new production show featuring Miss Gay Sin City USofA Naomi St. James (Water), Miss Gay Arizona USofA Mya McKenzie (Wood), Miss Gay Scottsdale USofA Nevaeh (Fire), 1st Alternate to Miss Gay Scottsdale USofA Kayla Krawford (Metal) and Miss Desert Elegance USofA Sallaeh V (Earth). Don’t miss the hottest new drag show to hit the state of Arizona featuring five of your favorite female impersonators with their new production, Elements. Come support opening night on Friday December 4th, and see the show each Friday thereafter.

DECEMBER 2009 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE

TIME

First & Third Tues. 10:00p Second & Fourth Tues. 10:00p Second & Fourth Wed. Tuesdays 10:30p Wednesdays 10:00p Wednesdays 10:30p Thursdays 10:30p Thursdays 9:00p Thursdays 9:30p Thursdays 10:30p Last Friday 10:00p 3rd Thurs. 8:00p Saturday the 4th Saturday the 19th 10:00p Saturdays 10:00p Saturdays 10:00p Saturdays 10:00p Saturdays 9:30p Saturdays 10:30p Sundays 8:30p Sundays 10:30p First Sunday 8:00p Second Sunday 8:00p Last sunday 8:00p

LOCATION

SHOW / PERFORMER(S)

BS West BS West Pumphouse II Karamba Charlie’s Karamba Pumphouse II Incognito Amsterdam Karamba Cherry Lounge Forbidden The Rock The Rock The Rock icepics Forbidden Charlie’s Pumphouse II Charlie’s Karamba Apollo’s Apollo’s Apolo’s

Hookers In Hose with Kiki Vermont Heroine Chic with Mya & Naomi What a Drag... Pun Intended hosted by Savannah Susana’s Show Claudia B. & Company Diamond Dallas Hosts... Hot Bodz Male Revue w/ Savannah Divas After Dark with Dianna K. Shane Icons Live w/ Mya McKenzie & Kiki Vermont Susana’s Show Scandalous w/ Scandalesque Ruby ‘n’ Friends Miss Gay Phoenix USofA Mya McKenzie’s Christmas Show Diamond Dolls with Mya McKenzie The Follies Comedy Drag Show The Barbra Seville Show Pussy’s Patio Show Hot Bodz Male Revue w/ Savannah Pussy LeHoot & Friends Galilea’s Show That Time of the Month with Afeelya Bunz That Time of The Month with Dottie That Time of the Month with Barbra Seville

To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com Included events must be 1) Charity Benefit OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser

34

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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 35


Elements, Fridays at BS West An all new production show featuring Miss Gay Sin City USofA Naomi St. James (Water), Miss Gay Arizona USofA Mya McKenzie (Wood), Miss Gay Scottsdale USofA Nevaeh (Fire), 1st Alternate to Miss Gay Scottsdale USofA Kayla Krawford (Metal) and Miss Desert Elegance USofA Sallaeh V (Earth). Don’t miss the hottest new drag show to hit the state of Arizona featuring five of your favorite female impersonators with their new production, Elements. Come support opening night on Friday December 4th, and see the show each Friday thereafter.

DECEMBER 2009 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE

TIME

First & Third Tues. 10:00p Second & Fourth Tues. 10:00p Second & Fourth Wed. Tuesdays 10:30p Wednesdays 10:00p Wednesdays 10:30p Thursdays 10:30p Thursdays 9:00p Thursdays 9:30p Thursdays 10:30p Last Friday 10:00p 3rd Thurs. 8:00p Saturday the 4th Saturday the 19th 10:00p Saturdays 10:00p Saturdays 10:00p Saturdays 10:00p Saturdays 9:30p Saturdays 10:30p Sundays 8:30p Sundays 10:30p First Sunday 8:00p Second Sunday 8:00p Last sunday 8:00p

LOCATION

SHOW / PERFORMER(S)

BS West BS West Pumphouse II Karamba Charlie’s Karamba Pumphouse II Incognito Amsterdam Karamba Cherry Lounge Forbidden The Rock The Rock The Rock icepics Forbidden Charlie’s Pumphouse II Charlie’s Karamba Apollo’s Apollo’s Apolo’s

Hookers In Hose with Kiki Vermont Heroine Chic with Mya & Naomi What a Drag... Pun Intended hosted by Savannah Susana’s Show Claudia B. & Company Diamond Dallas Hosts... Hot Bodz Male Revue w/ Savannah Divas After Dark with Dianna K. Shane Icons Live w/ Mya McKenzie & Kiki Vermont Susana’s Show Scandalous w/ Scandalesque Ruby ‘n’ Friends Miss Gay Phoenix USofA Mya McKenzie’s Christmas Show Diamond Dolls with Mya McKenzie The Follies Comedy Drag Show The Barbra Seville Show Pussy’s Patio Show Hot Bodz Male Revue w/ Savannah Pussy LeHoot & Friends Galilea’s Show That Time of the Month with Afeelya Bunz That Time of The Month with Dottie That Time of the Month with Barbra Seville

To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com Included events must be 1) Charity Benefit OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser

34

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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 35


36

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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 37


36

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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 37


by Deon Brown photography by Don Thompson

Although historically denied the chance to legally marry, Gay men and Lesbians have always been on the forefront of creating or redefining what constitutes a “Family.”

John & Jared with Ayden & Taylar-Rae

Nationally, one in three Lesbian couples and one in five Gay male couples are raising children as of 2004. Arizona permits one parent Gay/Lesbian adoptions and sadly does not allow Joint or Second-Parent adoption. This is where one parent already has legal rights and a second parent is petitioning for joint rights.

Angela & Tami with Cameron, Domenic, Vincent & Nicole

Home For the

Greg & Van with Antonio & Alex

Holidays 38

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

Lesbians and Gay men bring children into their lives in a number of ways. Lesbians frequently have one partner who gives birth to a child – either through artificial insemination or through a surrogate father. Gay men can do virtually the same thing by using a surrogate to carry a child born from one partner’s sperm and a donor egg. These procedures ensure that both partners are considered legal parents of their child. As a result, even if they split, or “divorce,” they both remain legal parents. Gay parents are growing more common. Van Welborn told ION, “Before we became parents to Antonio and Alex, we had no idea that there were so many gay parents in the Valley. We have been pleasantly surprised, and have had the opportunity to connect with many wonderful families. We believe it is important to show Antonio and Alex that they are not the only kids in the world with two dads.” Being the child of Gay or Lesbian parents is more than having a hyphenated last name. It’s about what every child deserves: being part of a loving family.

ANGELA & TAMI Angela Fischer and Tami SchmidtFischer have recently celebrated their first wedding anniversary. They are the proud parents of Cameron, age 10, Dominick, 9, Vincent, 6, and 3-year-old Nicole. The joys of parenting are universal and know no differentiation between Gay and Straight. Angela and Tami expressed, “There is so much joy in watching children grow and discover how to navigate this complex world. The fact that we are Lesbians is such a small part of who we are. As parents our days are filled with the same types of things all families contend with: homework, extracurricular activities, packing lunches, laundry, et cetera.” Still, being a two Mommy family has it’s share of challenges. “The hardest part is watching the kids struggle with other kids or families that don’t accept our family. The greatest benefit to us would be for society to focus on where we are similar rather than focusing so much attention on our differences,” Angela said.

GREG & VAN Greg Kinder and his partner Van Welborn will celebrate 17 years together in January. Their family is completed with their sons Antonio, 5, and Alex, 3. They focused on the positive aspect of non-traditional parenting. “As adoptive parents, the most redeeming part of our parenting experience so far has been to witness the positive transformation that occurred as our sons began to move past their traumatic past, let down their defenses, and bond with us as their forever parents.” Decemberr 200 2009 9 WWW.IONAZ.COM 39


by Deon Brown photography by Don Thompson

Although historically denied the chance to legally marry, Gay men and Lesbians have always been on the forefront of creating or redefining what constitutes a “Family.”

John & Jared with Ayden & Taylar-Rae

Nationally, one in three Lesbian couples and one in five Gay male couples are raising children as of 2004. Arizona permits one parent Gay/Lesbian adoptions and sadly does not allow Joint or Second-Parent adoption. This is where one parent already has legal rights and a second parent is petitioning for joint rights.

Angela & Tami with Cameron, Domenic, Vincent & Nicole

Home For the

Greg & Van with Antonio & Alex

Holidays 38

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

Lesbians and Gay men bring children into their lives in a number of ways. Lesbians frequently have one partner who gives birth to a child – either through artificial insemination or through a surrogate father. Gay men can do virtually the same thing by using a surrogate to carry a child born from one partner’s sperm and a donor egg. These procedures ensure that both partners are considered legal parents of their child. As a result, even if they split, or “divorce,” they both remain legal parents. Gay parents are growing more common. Van Welborn told ION, “Before we became parents to Antonio and Alex, we had no idea that there were so many gay parents in the Valley. We have been pleasantly surprised, and have had the opportunity to connect with many wonderful families. We believe it is important to show Antonio and Alex that they are not the only kids in the world with two dads.” Being the child of Gay or Lesbian parents is more than having a hyphenated last name. It’s about what every child deserves: being part of a loving family.

ANGELA & TAMI Angela Fischer and Tami SchmidtFischer have recently celebrated their first wedding anniversary. They are the proud parents of Cameron, age 10, Dominick, 9, Vincent, 6, and 3-year-old Nicole. The joys of parenting are universal and know no differentiation between Gay and Straight. Angela and Tami expressed, “There is so much joy in watching children grow and discover how to navigate this complex world. The fact that we are Lesbians is such a small part of who we are. As parents our days are filled with the same types of things all families contend with: homework, extracurricular activities, packing lunches, laundry, et cetera.” Still, being a two Mommy family has it’s share of challenges. “The hardest part is watching the kids struggle with other kids or families that don’t accept our family. The greatest benefit to us would be for society to focus on where we are similar rather than focusing so much attention on our differences,” Angela said.

GREG & VAN Greg Kinder and his partner Van Welborn will celebrate 17 years together in January. Their family is completed with their sons Antonio, 5, and Alex, 3. They focused on the positive aspect of non-traditional parenting. “As adoptive parents, the most redeeming part of our parenting experience so far has been to witness the positive transformation that occurred as our sons began to move past their traumatic past, let down their defenses, and bond with us as their forever parents.” Decemberr 200 2009 9 WWW.IONAZ.COM 39


together for six years. They welcomed two children, Ayden, 4, and Taylar Rae, age 2, into their loving home. “At this point in time our greatest challenges are not much different from those faced by most parents, gay or straight, of three or five-yearolds. Getting them to finish their meals, sibling rivalry issues, and sticking to the nightly bedtime schedule are our top three current challenges.”

JARED & JOHN “There is so much love between us and our kids and the most redeeming part of parenting is simply the love and trust that is created when you welcome a child into your life,” said Jared Cranford and John Fagundes, who have been

“We have a huge support system full of family and friends that are always there for us and willing to do anything they can to help out. We surround ourselves with positive influences and we have a ton of love to pass around. When the children get older and they’re in school and they have kids and friends asking questions like, ‘Where is your mom?’ and ‘Why do you have two dads?’ that will be a challenge. John and I try so hard to protect our kids from anything that would hurt them or make them feel like they are different in a negative way.” Gay & Lesbian parents all recommend that prospective parents are in a good

place – personally, professionally and financially before you make the decision to start a family. Kevin Christopher also suggests, “Don’t lose yourself in your child. A child is a huge part of a parent’s life but it’s not their whole life. Being an effective parent means balancing different aspects of life. Parents are still individuals and need ‘me time.’” To learn more about same-sex partners’ legal rights, check out A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples by Attorneys Denis Clifford, Frederick Hertz and Emily Doskow, $34.99, 375 pp. 12th ed. published by NOLO Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide by Arlene Istar Lev, CSW, $18.00, 400 pp. published by Berkley Trade. These books and other legal and financial guides written specifically for Gay/Lesbian couples and families

are available through Amazon.com at reduced prices. Check the internet for information about Gay parenting issues. Try Aid to Adoption of Special Kids (AASK) www.aask-az.org – a Gay friendly adoption agency; PFLAG: Parents, Familys & Friends of Lesgians and Gays – www.pflag.org, Google “Rainbow Fences,” or try The Gay Dads Group on Yahoo! at groups.yahoo.com/group/TheDads-Group. The Franciscan Renewal Center, the Lambda Center and the Community Church of Hope are other great ways of connecting with other Gay/ Lesbian parents. Search the database of Directory|M at articles.directorym.com for articles and resources which may help provide you with information about the legal rights of same-sex parents from adoption to coparenting.

Post your online or voicemail profile for FREE on Megamates and Gaymates. Our phone dating line and online dating website offer singles a fun, interactive place to call, chat, and connect. It’s free to setup and maintain a mailbox or online account, free to record a public message and free to browse other caller’s profiles and messages. Call 1-888MEGAMATES, use FREE code 7286 or visit us online at www.megamates.com

40 WWW.IONAZ.COM WWW.IONAZ.COM December December2009 2009 40


together for six years. They welcomed two children, Ayden, 4, and Taylar Rae, age 2, into their loving home. “At this point in time our greatest challenges are not much different from those faced by most parents, gay or straight, of three or five-yearolds. Getting them to finish their meals, sibling rivalry issues, and sticking to the nightly bedtime schedule are our top three current challenges.”

JARED & JOHN “There is so much love between us and our kids and the most redeeming part of parenting is simply the love and trust that is created when you welcome a child into your life,” said Jared Cranford and John Fagundes, who have been

“We have a huge support system full of family and friends that are always there for us and willing to do anything they can to help out. We surround ourselves with positive influences and we have a ton of love to pass around. When the children get older and they’re in school and they have kids and friends asking questions like, ‘Where is your mom?’ and ‘Why do you have two dads?’ that will be a challenge. John and I try so hard to protect our kids from anything that would hurt them or make them feel like they are different in a negative way.” Gay & Lesbian parents all recommend that prospective parents are in a good

place – personally, professionally and financially before you make the decision to start a family. Kevin Christopher also suggests, “Don’t lose yourself in your child. A child is a huge part of a parent’s life but it’s not their whole life. Being an effective parent means balancing different aspects of life. Parents are still individuals and need ‘me time.’” To learn more about same-sex partners’ legal rights, check out A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples by Attorneys Denis Clifford, Frederick Hertz and Emily Doskow, $34.99, 375 pp. 12th ed. published by NOLO Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide by Arlene Istar Lev, CSW, $18.00, 400 pp. published by Berkley Trade. These books and other legal and financial guides written specifically for Gay/Lesbian couples and families

are available through Amazon.com at reduced prices. Check the internet for information about Gay parenting issues. Try Aid to Adoption of Special Kids (AASK) www.aask-az.org – a Gay friendly adoption agency; PFLAG: Parents, Familys & Friends of Lesgians and Gays – www.pflag.org, Google “Rainbow Fences,” or try The Gay Dads Group on Yahoo! at groups.yahoo.com/group/TheDads-Group. The Franciscan Renewal Center, the Lambda Center and the Community Church of Hope are other great ways of connecting with other Gay/ Lesbian parents. Search the database of Directory|M at articles.directorym.com for articles and resources which may help provide you with information about the legal rights of same-sex parents from adoption to coparenting.

Post your online or voicemail profile for FREE on Megamates and Gaymates. Our phone dating line and online dating website offer singles a fun, interactive place to call, chat, and connect. It’s free to setup and maintain a mailbox or online account, free to record a public message and free to browse other caller’s profiles and messages. Call 1-888MEGAMATES, use FREE code 7286 or visit us online at www.megamates.com

40 WWW.IONAZ.COM WWW.IONAZ.COM December December2009 2009 40


42

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December 2009

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 43


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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 43


Dixie’s Tupperware Party Burp it! Dixie Longate, the #1 Tupperware Salesperson in the world brings her riotous, raucous show filled with stories, fun and helpful food storage solutions to the Mesa Arts Center December 8-13. And did we mention prizes? Yes, Tupperware! This is one show you don’t want to miss! We’ll see you there at 1 E. Main St., Mesa. 480644-6500

Little House on the Prairie Put on your best calico dress, sunbonnet and hitch up the buggy, because Laura Ingalls Wilder, bitchy Nellie Oleson and the gang are coming to ASU Gammage in an a good ol’ fashioned musical based on the famous books and TV series with TV’s original “Half Pint” Melissa Gilbert as Ma. 1200 S. Forest Ave. Tempe. www.ASUGammage.com Tix: 480965-3434

Annie

When will the sun come out? Tomorrow, silly! That curly-haired mop-top comes to ASU Gammage along with Daddy Warbucks, Miss Hannigan and, of course, Sandy! We’ll see you there! Remember, you’re never fully dressed without a smile! December 29-January 3, 2010. 1200 S. Forest Ave. Tempe. www.ASUGammage.com Tix: 480-965-3434

DECEMBER 2009 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE 1-27 3-23 4-5 4-19 thru 5 6 thru 6 8-13 8-13 10-21 12-24 thru 19 20 29-1/3/10 30-1/3/10 thru 31 31 31-1/2/10 thru 1/2/10 thru 1/10/10 44

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

EVENT Sister’s Christmas Catechism A Christmas Carol Ken & Brady Speech and Debate The LIttle Dog Laughed Best of the Best Showcase George is Dead Dixie’s Tupperware Party Little House on the Prairie iTheatre Holiday Cabaret Actor’s Theatre “A Christmas Carol” Compleat Works of Shakespeare A Winter’s Tale Annie Ain’t Misbehavin’ Christmas Jukebox Joel McHale Louis C.K. Meet Me in St. Louis B’way Arsenic & Old Lace

LOCATION Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts Hale Theatre Ctr. Comedy Spot Stray Cat Theatre Nearly Naked Theatre Comedy Spot Herberger Theater Ctr. Mesa Arts Ctr. ASU Gammage Herberger Theater Ctr. Herberger Theater Ctr. Mesa Arts Center Mesa Arts Center ASU Gammage Herberger Copperstate Dinner Theat. Dodge Theatre Tempe Improv Palms Dinner Theatre Scotts. Desert Stages

PHONE 480-994-2787 480-497-1181 480-945-4422 480-350-1884 602-254-2151 480-945-4422 602-252-8497 480-644-6500 480-965-3434 602-252-8497 602-252-8497 480-644-6500 480-644-6500 480-965-3434 602-252-8497 602-279-3129 602-379-2888 480-921-9877 480-325-6700 480-483-1664

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 45


Dixie’s Tupperware Party Burp it! Dixie Longate, the #1 Tupperware Salesperson in the world brings her riotous, raucous show filled with stories, fun and helpful food storage solutions to the Mesa Arts Center December 8-13. And did we mention prizes? Yes, Tupperware! This is one show you don’t want to miss! We’ll see you there at 1 E. Main St., Mesa. 480644-6500

Little House on the Prairie Put on your best calico dress, sunbonnet and hitch up the buggy, because Laura Ingalls Wilder, bitchy Nellie Oleson and the gang are coming to ASU Gammage in an a good ol’ fashioned musical based on the famous books and TV series with TV’s original “Half Pint” Melissa Gilbert as Ma. 1200 S. Forest Ave. Tempe. www.ASUGammage.com Tix: 480965-3434

Annie

When will the sun come out? Tomorrow, silly! That curly-haired mop-top comes to ASU Gammage along with Daddy Warbucks, Miss Hannigan and, of course, Sandy! We’ll see you there! Remember, you’re never fully dressed without a smile! December 29-January 3, 2010. 1200 S. Forest Ave. Tempe. www.ASUGammage.com Tix: 480-965-3434

DECEMBER 2009 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE 1-27 3-23 4-5 4-19 thru 5 6 thru 6 8-13 8-13 10-21 12-24 thru 19 20 29-1/3/10 30-1/3/10 thru 31 31 31-1/2/10 thru 1/2/10 thru 1/10/10 44

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

EVENT Sister’s Christmas Catechism A Christmas Carol Ken & Brady Speech and Debate The LIttle Dog Laughed Best of the Best Showcase George is Dead Dixie’s Tupperware Party Little House on the Prairie iTheatre Holiday Cabaret Actor’s Theatre “A Christmas Carol” Compleat Works of Shakespeare A Winter’s Tale Annie Ain’t Misbehavin’ Christmas Jukebox Joel McHale Louis C.K. Meet Me in St. Louis B’way Arsenic & Old Lace

LOCATION Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts Hale Theatre Ctr. Comedy Spot Stray Cat Theatre Nearly Naked Theatre Comedy Spot Herberger Theater Ctr. Mesa Arts Ctr. ASU Gammage Herberger Theater Ctr. Herberger Theater Ctr. Mesa Arts Center Mesa Arts Center ASU Gammage Herberger Copperstate Dinner Theat. Dodge Theatre Tempe Improv Palms Dinner Theatre Scotts. Desert Stages

PHONE 480-994-2787 480-497-1181 480-945-4422 480-350-1884 602-254-2151 480-945-4422 602-252-8497 480-644-6500 480-965-3434 602-252-8497 602-252-8497 480-644-6500 480-644-6500 480-965-3434 602-252-8497 602-279-3129 602-379-2888 480-921-9877 480-325-6700 480-483-1664

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Movie Previews A Single Man

Avatar

Fashion Designer Tom Ford makes his directorial debut with A Single Man, the film adaptation of Tom Isherwood’s groundbreaking novel heralded as one of the first major works in the gay liberation movement. Set in the 60s, the film stars Colin Firth (Bridget Jones’ Diary; Pride and Prejudice) as George, a middleaged gay English professor who goes about his day in Los Angeles after the loss of his long-term partner. Haunted by the events that led to the loss, as well as the confusion of being a homosexual in America at a time when homosexuality was kept in the closet, the film has the same appeal as Revolutionary Road in which we watch seemingly flawless characters come apart at the seams. Ford does a remarkable job capturing both the imagery and feel of the 60s, taking a page from the works of French New Wave directors, Jean Luc Godard and Francois Truffault with his heavily nuanced scenes. And, more importantly, for those of you who watched the BBC Version of Pride and Prejudice and secretly hoped Mark Darcy liked the fellows, you get your wish! Release Date: 12/11/09

Academy Award Winning Titanic Director Cameron Crowe finally brings to the screen his long-awaited science fiction epic, Avatar. A project he’s been wanting to do for a long time but has waited for Hollywood’s special effects departments to catch up, Avatar tells the story of Jake Sully (Worthington), a paraplegic ex-Marine sent to the planet Pandora to establish a human settlement. Reticent to begin with, Sully quickly discovers that humankind is the parasite to Pandora’s host and finds himself battling alongside the indigenous Nav’I tribe. Synthesizing live-action performances with computer-generated effects, Avatar is a epic achievement and illustrative of the limitless potential for the future of cinema. It is also, for you students of psychology, an interesting study on the “uncanny valley” – the point at which human-like images (stick figures, illustrations, clay molds, robots) end up crossing the mental threshold that allows us to separate humanoids from human beings, resulting in a negative appraisal. Among SciFi fans that had the opportunity to see Avatar at this year’s ComicCon the appraisal was positive, but I would be curious to hear the opinions of others. Release Date: 12/18/09

Starring: Julianne Moore, Colin Firth, Matthew Goode, Nicholas Hoult

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Starring: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, Joel Moore

December 2009

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Movie Previews A Single Man

Avatar

Fashion Designer Tom Ford makes his directorial debut with A Single Man, the film adaptation of Tom Isherwood’s groundbreaking novel heralded as one of the first major works in the gay liberation movement. Set in the 60s, the film stars Colin Firth (Bridget Jones’ Diary; Pride and Prejudice) as George, a middleaged gay English professor who goes about his day in Los Angeles after the loss of his long-term partner. Haunted by the events that led to the loss, as well as the confusion of being a homosexual in America at a time when homosexuality was kept in the closet, the film has the same appeal as Revolutionary Road in which we watch seemingly flawless characters come apart at the seams. Ford does a remarkable job capturing both the imagery and feel of the 60s, taking a page from the works of French New Wave directors, Jean Luc Godard and Francois Truffault with his heavily nuanced scenes. And, more importantly, for those of you who watched the BBC Version of Pride and Prejudice and secretly hoped Mark Darcy liked the fellows, you get your wish! Release Date: 12/11/09

Academy Award Winning Titanic Director Cameron Crowe finally brings to the screen his long-awaited science fiction epic, Avatar. A project he’s been wanting to do for a long time but has waited for Hollywood’s special effects departments to catch up, Avatar tells the story of Jake Sully (Worthington), a paraplegic ex-Marine sent to the planet Pandora to establish a human settlement. Reticent to begin with, Sully quickly discovers that humankind is the parasite to Pandora’s host and finds himself battling alongside the indigenous Nav’I tribe. Synthesizing live-action performances with computer-generated effects, Avatar is a epic achievement and illustrative of the limitless potential for the future of cinema. It is also, for you students of psychology, an interesting study on the “uncanny valley” – the point at which human-like images (stick figures, illustrations, clay molds, robots) end up crossing the mental threshold that allows us to separate humanoids from human beings, resulting in a negative appraisal. Among SciFi fans that had the opportunity to see Avatar at this year’s ComicCon the appraisal was positive, but I would be curious to hear the opinions of others. Release Date: 12/18/09

Starring: Julianne Moore, Colin Firth, Matthew Goode, Nicholas Hoult

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Starring: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, Joel Moore

December 2009

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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Review Chef’s Special

Starring: Javier Camara, Lola Duenas, Fernando Tejero, Benjamin Vicuna Experiments in the kitchen are a mixture of chemistry and art. You must be sure to mix two cups of flour, one cup of sugar, and a teaspoon of salt to a pumpkin bread recipe, but it’s the artful decision to bring an extra tablespoon of cinnamon and a handful of crushed walnuts that makes the pumpkin bread your recipe. The same can be said about love; you may remember to bring your special someone flowers and a card on the appointed day as a recipe for love, but it was your surprise tickets to see a shuttle launch at Kennedy Space Center or the gift-wrapped new novel by their favorite author that made it your recipe. Yet anyone who has ever toiled over a pot in the kitchen of cooking and love knows, not every decision is artful or successful. Such is the story behind Chef’s Special (Fuera de Carta), the directorial debut of Nacho de Velilla, a Spanish director hailed as the next Pedro Almodovar. Javier Camara stars as Maxi, a successful chef who owns his own restaurant, has a great working relationship with his employees, and seems to have the secrets to a successful long-term relationship on hand. Despite all his good fortune, the re-emergence of his children from a previous, unsuccessful marriage and the presence of a sexy neighbor (Vicuna) leads Maxi to make some less than artful decisions that lead him to reevaluate his life. If you enjoy foreign language films that are not about the Holocaust or depressing dramas that end in mass death (like the Holocaust), I strongly recommend you check out this quirky film. 50

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

Monsters, Inc.

Starring (the voices of): John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn The city of Monstropolis runs on children’s screams, so the biggest company, Monsters, Inc., is responsible for sending their best scarers to children’s bedrooms at night to elicit those desperately-needed shrieks of terror. Sulley (Goodman) and his partner, Mike Wazowski (Crystal) are the most successful scarers on the floor until one day, they fail to frighten one little girl. Fearful themselves that being touched by a child will contaminate and harm them, they try desperately to get her back into her bedroom each time foiled by her curiosity and tenacity. When it becomes evident that there’s more going on at Monsters, Inc. and the little girl might actually be in harm’s way, Sulley and Wazowski work over-time to right their wrongs and save not just themselves, but “Boo” from their mistake. Released originally in 2001, Monsters, Inc. is now available on Blu-Ray just in time for the holiday season.


by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Review Chef’s Special

Starring: Javier Camara, Lola Duenas, Fernando Tejero, Benjamin Vicuna Experiments in the kitchen are a mixture of chemistry and art. You must be sure to mix two cups of flour, one cup of sugar, and a teaspoon of salt to a pumpkin bread recipe, but it’s the artful decision to bring an extra tablespoon of cinnamon and a handful of crushed walnuts that makes the pumpkin bread your recipe. The same can be said about love; you may remember to bring your special someone flowers and a card on the appointed day as a recipe for love, but it was your surprise tickets to see a shuttle launch at Kennedy Space Center or the gift-wrapped new novel by their favorite author that made it your recipe. Yet anyone who has ever toiled over a pot in the kitchen of cooking and love knows, not every decision is artful or successful. Such is the story behind Chef’s Special (Fuera de Carta), the directorial debut of Nacho de Velilla, a Spanish director hailed as the next Pedro Almodovar. Javier Camara stars as Maxi, a successful chef who owns his own restaurant, has a great working relationship with his employees, and seems to have the secrets to a successful long-term relationship on hand. Despite all his good fortune, the re-emergence of his children from a previous, unsuccessful marriage and the presence of a sexy neighbor (Vicuna) leads Maxi to make some less than artful decisions that lead him to reevaluate his life. If you enjoy foreign language films that are not about the Holocaust or depressing dramas that end in mass death (like the Holocaust), I strongly recommend you check out this quirky film. 50

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

Monsters, Inc.

Starring (the voices of): John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn The city of Monstropolis runs on children’s screams, so the biggest company, Monsters, Inc., is responsible for sending their best scarers to children’s bedrooms at night to elicit those desperately-needed shrieks of terror. Sulley (Goodman) and his partner, Mike Wazowski (Crystal) are the most successful scarers on the floor until one day, they fail to frighten one little girl. Fearful themselves that being touched by a child will contaminate and harm them, they try desperately to get her back into her bedroom each time foiled by her curiosity and tenacity. When it becomes evident that there’s more going on at Monsters, Inc. and the little girl might actually be in harm’s way, Sulley and Wazowski work over-time to right their wrongs and save not just themselves, but “Boo” from their mistake. Released originally in 2001, Monsters, Inc. is now available on Blu-Ray just in time for the holiday season.


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othin’ says lovin’ like something from the oven. And ION advertisers provide some of the tastiest culinary delights in town. Whether you’re looking for a burger, sandwich, a full meal, inventive cocktails, or coffee and ice cream, they’ve got you covered. Here’s a smorgasbord of our samplings from them, and the best reviews from this year.

Acacia Café What makes Acacia Café so special? It’s warm, friendly, cheerful atmosphere for starters. Not only that, their wide variety of hot and cold sandwiches are bangin’ and so are their salads. Don’t forget breakfast! After all, it is the most important meal of the day. 3701 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix 602-956-0908

AcaciaCafe.net

BÒCÁ 7 House of Beef, Fish and some Chicken. Enjoy seven elaborately prepared and extremely delicious courses in this stylishly elegant Vietnamese restaurant. If imaginatively prepared Asian cuisine is your style, you can’t miss. 66 S. Dobson Rd. Suite 133 - Mesa 480-649-6777

BOCA7.com

FEZ “ “We wish you a FEZzy Christmas and a a FEZzy New Year!” Celebrate the Holidays in style with lunch, dinner, a late night nosh, fab cocktails or the best Sunday Brunch in town with family and friends at FEZ. Remember, they also do catering, parties and they have gift certificates. Ask about their terrific monthly specials, too! 3815 N. Central Ave. near Clarendon 602-287-8700 FezOnCentral.com

Ticoz Resto-Bar This top-notch resto-bar, brought to you from those good folks at FEZ and Switch offers a palate-pleasing selection of Torta Sandwiches, burgers, salads, tacos, enchiladas and more. The Ticoz House Paella is a sure-fire hit. Don’t forget to try their signature sangrias and their killer mojitos. Ask about their monthly specials. 5114 N. 7th St.

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602-200-0160

ticozofarizona.com

December 2009 9 WWW.IONAZ.COM 55


N

othin’ says lovin’ like something from the oven. And ION advertisers provide some of the tastiest culinary delights in town. Whether you’re looking for a burger, sandwich, a full meal, inventive cocktails, or coffee and ice cream, they’ve got you covered. Here’s a smorgasbord of our samplings from them, and the best reviews from this year.

Acacia Café What makes Acacia Café so special? It’s warm, friendly, cheerful atmosphere for starters. Not only that, their wide variety of hot and cold sandwiches are bangin’ and so are their salads. Don’t forget breakfast! After all, it is the most important meal of the day. 3701 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix 602-956-0908

AcaciaCafe.net

BÒCÁ 7 House of Beef, Fish and some Chicken. Enjoy seven elaborately prepared and extremely delicious courses in this stylishly elegant Vietnamese restaurant. If imaginatively prepared Asian cuisine is your style, you can’t miss. 66 S. Dobson Rd. Suite 133 - Mesa 480-649-6777

BOCA7.com

FEZ “ “We wish you a FEZzy Christmas and a a FEZzy New Year!” Celebrate the Holidays in style with lunch, dinner, a late night nosh, fab cocktails or the best Sunday Brunch in town with family and friends at FEZ. Remember, they also do catering, parties and they have gift certificates. Ask about their terrific monthly specials, too! 3815 N. Central Ave. near Clarendon 602-287-8700 FezOnCentral.com

Ticoz Resto-Bar This top-notch resto-bar, brought to you from those good folks at FEZ and Switch offers a palate-pleasing selection of Torta Sandwiches, burgers, salads, tacos, enchiladas and more. The Ticoz House Paella is a sure-fire hit. Don’t forget to try their signature sangrias and their killer mojitos. Ask about their monthly specials. 5114 N. 7th St.

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602-200-0160

ticozofarizona.com

December 2009 9 WWW.IONAZ.COM 55


Hanny’s

Two Hippies Beach House

From the creators of AZ88 comes downtown’s newest jewel in the crown. Hanny’s – once Phoenix’ premiere Art Moderne haberdashery – is now the place to see and be seen. Upscale and still casual, Hanny’s has a variety of sandwiches, salads and entrées to choose from before or after a night at the Dodge, game, symphony or play. 40 N. 1st St. 602-252--2285 Hannys.net

This tiny hut cranks out hundreds of tasty tacos and hot dogs every day. Best of all, nothing’s over $5. Try out their new Two Hippies Breakfast Joint on the Melrose Curve and their Pizza . 501 E. Camelback Rd. Phoenix 602-277-0399

Maizie’s

Z-Pizza

Maizie’s warm, contemporary café and birstro features some of the best, mouth-watering delights we’ve come across along the Central Corridor. With a thoughtful assortment of salads, sandwiches, customizable pizzas, and freshly made pasta dishes, you’re bound to discover a treat to tempt your tastebuds! Creative housemade soups, daily specials, too. 4750 N. Central Ave. 602-274-2828 MaiziesCafe.com

53 W. Thomas Rd. 602-234-3289

Pizza. Probably Nature’s most perfect food. And nobody gives pizza as much love and attention as Z-Pizza. But don’t stop there: they also have mouth-watering sandwiches, pasta dishes and salads, too. All served with the highest quality meats, cheeses and veggies. Catering and gift certificates available. Head to the Pink Spot for ice cream after! ZPizza.com

Mi Patio Family owned and operated, Mi Patio is a local landmark and they’ve been serving up some of the freshest, most authentic Mexican cuisine in Phoenix. Experience the traditional fare, or something with a Greek twist! Soups, salads, and much more! Party trays available. 3347 N. 7th Ave. at Osborn Rd. 602-277-4831

MiPatioAZ.com

SWITCH This celebrated sandwicherie and much more was one of the charter businesses on the Metro Light Rail. Tops in ‘wiches, a variety of creatively prepared – and affordable –entrées along with a full bar. Check out their “Recession Buster” for only $5. 2603 N. Central Ave. near Virginia 602-264-2295 SwitchofArizona.com

Tuck Shop Nestled in the heart of the Coronado District you’ll find Tuck Shop. Proudly serving “neighborhood comfort food” with an East Coast, Southern and Portuguese influence, their menu changes occasionally, but you’ll always be satisfied. 2245 N. 12th St. at Oak St. - Phoenix 602-354-2980

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TuckInPhx.com

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 57


Hanny’s

Two Hippies Beach House

From the creators of AZ88 comes downtown’s newest jewel in the crown. Hanny’s – once Phoenix’ premiere Art Moderne haberdashery – is now the place to see and be seen. Upscale and still casual, Hanny’s has a variety of sandwiches, salads and entrées to choose from before or after a night at the Dodge, game, symphony or play. 40 N. 1st St. 602-252--2285 Hannys.net

This tiny hut cranks out hundreds of tasty tacos and hot dogs every day. Best of all, nothing’s over $5. Try out their new Two Hippies Breakfast Joint on the Melrose Curve and their Pizza . 501 E. Camelback Rd. Phoenix 602-277-0399

Maizie’s

Z-Pizza

Maizie’s warm, contemporary café and birstro features some of the best, mouth-watering delights we’ve come across along the Central Corridor. With a thoughtful assortment of salads, sandwiches, customizable pizzas, and freshly made pasta dishes, you’re bound to discover a treat to tempt your tastebuds! Creative housemade soups, daily specials, too. 4750 N. Central Ave. 602-274-2828 MaiziesCafe.com

53 W. Thomas Rd. 602-234-3289

Pizza. Probably Nature’s most perfect food. And nobody gives pizza as much love and attention as Z-Pizza. But don’t stop there: they also have mouth-watering sandwiches, pasta dishes and salads, too. All served with the highest quality meats, cheeses and veggies. Catering and gift certificates available. Head to the Pink Spot for ice cream after! ZPizza.com

Mi Patio Family owned and operated, Mi Patio is a local landmark and they’ve been serving up some of the freshest, most authentic Mexican cuisine in Phoenix. Experience the traditional fare, or something with a Greek twist! Soups, salads, and much more! Party trays available. 3347 N. 7th Ave. at Osborn Rd. 602-277-4831

MiPatioAZ.com

SWITCH This celebrated sandwicherie and much more was one of the charter businesses on the Metro Light Rail. Tops in ‘wiches, a variety of creatively prepared – and affordable –entrées along with a full bar. Check out their “Recession Buster” for only $5. 2603 N. Central Ave. near Virginia 602-264-2295 SwitchofArizona.com

Tuck Shop Nestled in the heart of the Coronado District you’ll find Tuck Shop. Proudly serving “neighborhood comfort food” with an East Coast, Southern and Portuguese influence, their menu changes occasionally, but you’ll always be satisfied. 2245 N. 12th St. at Oak St. - Phoenix 602-354-2980

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TuckInPhx.com

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 57


25TH ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND

Photo by Kurtis Scholz 58

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25TH ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND

Photo by Kurtis Scholz 58

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BEAT-BOXING CHAMP Idol’s Blake Lewis Returns for Round 2 by Jeremey Rubin

American Idol alumni and beat-boxing sensation Blake Lewis returns this month with his second studio album, Heartbreak on Vinyl. We sat down with Lewis to discuss the album, the meaning behind the first single from the album, “Sad Song,” and those pesky gay rumors that just won’t go away.

Blake Lewis

ION: Is it true you recently performed for the First Lady, Michelle Obama? Blake Lewis: I did, it was amazing! It was for the Ladies of Congress Luncheon. 1000 woman and me and some secret service. I taught the First Lady how to beat box! ION: We have to ask your take on Ellen replacing Paula on this season’s American Idol. BL: I was sad to hear that Paula was leaving. She was the sweetheart of the show for me and many of the contestants. But when I heard that Ellen was coming on I knew the show would remain a great program. I think Ellen is hilarious. ION: Tell us about your new album, Hearbreak On Vinyl. BL: Hearbreak On Vinyl is the record I wanted to make the first time around. Very edgy, gritty, with hard beats that make you want to move. It’s a fun album! ION: Has Simon [Cowell] given his support? BL: I’ve always had Simon’s support. He has heard the record and loves it. 60

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ION: What was the inspiration behind the first single, Sad Song? BL: Sad Song was a challenge I made with myself to make an anthem track. I’ve never written one before and at the time I was listening to a lot of 80’s groups like Boys Like Girls and Fall Out Boy. I had just gotten out of a relationship with the woman I loved and this song for the broken hearted just came out of me. ION: Can we dispel the gay myth once and for all? Are you or aren’t you? BL: I’m Straight, but I embrace my inner Gay (laughs). I’m just open and honest. ION: What do you think started the gay rumors? BL: A photoshopped pic of me sitting on the lap of (Idol contestant) Chris Richardson circled the internet. That was the jump off. ION: If you were gay, who would be your man crush? Who would you cozy up next to on the dance floor? BL: Good question! Probably my stylist, Ashton Michael. He designs and styles my clothes and is multi-talented. He used to be a professional breakdancer and he owns the floor. Probably would be fun to learn some more moves from him. I don’t think I would get cozy, but we could battle it out. ION: You’re participating in the Marriage Equality campaign. Why is marriage equality important to you? BL: I have many friends that are Gay and I don’t think the government should have the right to say who can or can’t Decemberr 200 2009 9 WWW.IONAZ.COM 61


BEAT-BOXING CHAMP Idol’s Blake Lewis Returns for Round 2 by Jeremey Rubin

American Idol alumni and beat-boxing sensation Blake Lewis returns this month with his second studio album, Heartbreak on Vinyl. We sat down with Lewis to discuss the album, the meaning behind the first single from the album, “Sad Song,” and those pesky gay rumors that just won’t go away.

Blake Lewis

ION: Is it true you recently performed for the First Lady, Michelle Obama? Blake Lewis: I did, it was amazing! It was for the Ladies of Congress Luncheon. 1000 woman and me and some secret service. I taught the First Lady how to beat box! ION: We have to ask your take on Ellen replacing Paula on this season’s American Idol. BL: I was sad to hear that Paula was leaving. She was the sweetheart of the show for me and many of the contestants. But when I heard that Ellen was coming on I knew the show would remain a great program. I think Ellen is hilarious. ION: Tell us about your new album, Hearbreak On Vinyl. BL: Hearbreak On Vinyl is the record I wanted to make the first time around. Very edgy, gritty, with hard beats that make you want to move. It’s a fun album! ION: Has Simon [Cowell] given his support? BL: I’ve always had Simon’s support. He has heard the record and loves it. 60

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

ION: What was the inspiration behind the first single, Sad Song? BL: Sad Song was a challenge I made with myself to make an anthem track. I’ve never written one before and at the time I was listening to a lot of 80’s groups like Boys Like Girls and Fall Out Boy. I had just gotten out of a relationship with the woman I loved and this song for the broken hearted just came out of me. ION: Can we dispel the gay myth once and for all? Are you or aren’t you? BL: I’m Straight, but I embrace my inner Gay (laughs). I’m just open and honest. ION: What do you think started the gay rumors? BL: A photoshopped pic of me sitting on the lap of (Idol contestant) Chris Richardson circled the internet. That was the jump off. ION: If you were gay, who would be your man crush? Who would you cozy up next to on the dance floor? BL: Good question! Probably my stylist, Ashton Michael. He designs and styles my clothes and is multi-talented. He used to be a professional breakdancer and he owns the floor. Probably would be fun to learn some more moves from him. I don’t think I would get cozy, but we could battle it out. ION: You’re participating in the Marriage Equality campaign. Why is marriage equality important to you? BL: I have many friends that are Gay and I don’t think the government should have the right to say who can or can’t Decemberr 200 2009 9 WWW.IONAZ.COM 61


yourself and the music industry? be happy. I believe in unity. ION: What direction do you hope the new album will take you? BL: All over, really. Where ever there is a fan, I want to meet them. ION: It’s been three years since Idol. What have you learned about

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BL: Wow, so many things. I’ve learned you have to be very aware of your fans and communicate as much as possible with them. Never burn any bridges, even if they need to be. For more information on Blake Lewis, Visit blakelewisofficial.com or follow him on Twitter @BlakeLewis.

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 63


yourself and the music industry? be happy. I believe in unity. ION: What direction do you hope the new album will take you? BL: All over, really. Where ever there is a fan, I want to meet them. ION: It’s been three years since Idol. What have you learned about

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BL: Wow, so many things. I’ve learned you have to be very aware of your fans and communicate as much as possible with them. Never burn any bridges, even if they need to be. For more information on Blake Lewis, Visit blakelewisofficial.com or follow him on Twitter @BlakeLewis.

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 63


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FORBIDDEN

Photos by Kevin Horton 66

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FORBIDDEN

Photos by Kevin Horton 66

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Amsterdam - Phoenix Celebrate the season on December 19 at Amsterdam for a night of gifts, performances and surprises as well as a $500 cash giveaway! On New Year’s Eve Party with Paparazzi! It’s a celebrity look-a-like contest with a cash prize for best costume, a $1,000 cash drop at midnight and champagne, of course. AmsterdamBar.com

718 N. Central Ave.

(602) 258-6122

Apollo’s Lounge - Phoenix Enjoy Jessika Murphy performing holiday faves on Dec. 8, Nikki Kidd Kidd’s Silver Balls and Ta-Ta Ta-Ta’s on Dec. 9, the AGRA Christmas Hoedown on Dec. 20 at Apollo Apollo’s. Say “Hello” to 2010 with an amazing Drag Show with Barbra Seville, hors d d’oeuvres, party favors, champagne, dancing and $5 rides home after 1 a.m. No cover charge! Apollos.com

5749 N. 7th St.

(602) 277-9373

Babylon Showclub - Phoenix Join in on the fun for the New Year Year’s Eve and Grand Opening Extravaganza! The winsome Nevaeh hosts and DJ Milkshake spins. Enjoy a professional fashion and hair show. Tickets are limited, so get yours in advance. BabylonShowclub.com Planning on staying home for the holidays? Get real! Get out and celebrate the most festive month of the year! There is so much to do it can be overwhelming, so we highlighted a few of Arizona’s hot spots and their grandest festivities. Get out and make this holiday season a memorable one.

holiday nightlife guide 70

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3613 E. Van Buren St. - Phoenix

(602) 306-1000

Bar 1 - Phoenix Hey, sexy! It’s bar none, it’s Bar1 for fun, fun, fun! This year they’re throwing one big, gay New Year’s Eve party with champagne galore, noise makers and more. Bring your friends, or make some there! Bar1. com

3708 N. 16th St.

(602) 266-9001

BS West - Scottsdale Pop your cork at BS West and bring in 2010 with a bang! Bring in a picture of Uncle Andy and drinks are only 1 1¢ each. Or for $10 cover you can pay as you go. And, of course, there there’ll be champagne at midnight. Don’t miss their Customer Appreciation Holiday Party on Dec. 11 at 9 Don p.m. BSwest.com

7125 5th Ave.

(480) 945-9028

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Amsterdam - Phoenix Celebrate the season on December 19 at Amsterdam for a night of gifts, performances and surprises as well as a $500 cash giveaway! On New Year’s Eve Party with Paparazzi! It’s a celebrity look-a-like contest with a cash prize for best costume, a $1,000 cash drop at midnight and champagne, of course. AmsterdamBar.com

718 N. Central Ave.

(602) 258-6122

Apollo’s Lounge - Phoenix Enjoy Jessika Murphy performing holiday faves on Dec. 8, Nikki Kidd Kidd’s Silver Balls and Ta-Ta Ta-Ta’s on Dec. 9, the AGRA Christmas Hoedown on Dec. 20 at Apollo Apollo’s. Say “Hello” to 2010 with an amazing Drag Show with Barbra Seville, hors d d’oeuvres, party favors, champagne, dancing and $5 rides home after 1 a.m. No cover charge! Apollos.com

5749 N. 7th St.

(602) 277-9373

Babylon Showclub - Phoenix Join in on the fun for the New Year Year’s Eve and Grand Opening Extravaganza! The winsome Nevaeh hosts and DJ Milkshake spins. Enjoy a professional fashion and hair show. Tickets are limited, so get yours in advance. BabylonShowclub.com Planning on staying home for the holidays? Get real! Get out and celebrate the most festive month of the year! There is so much to do it can be overwhelming, so we highlighted a few of Arizona’s hot spots and their grandest festivities. Get out and make this holiday season a memorable one.

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WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

3613 E. Van Buren St. - Phoenix

(602) 306-1000

Bar 1 - Phoenix Hey, sexy! It’s bar none, it’s Bar1 for fun, fun, fun! This year they’re throwing one big, gay New Year’s Eve party with champagne galore, noise makers and more. Bring your friends, or make some there! Bar1. com

3708 N. 16th St.

(602) 266-9001

BS West - Scottsdale Pop your cork at BS West and bring in 2010 with a bang! Bring in a picture of Uncle Andy and drinks are only 1 1¢ each. Or for $10 cover you can pay as you go. And, of course, there there’ll be champagne at midnight. Don’t miss their Customer Appreciation Holiday Party on Dec. 11 at 9 Don p.m. BSwest.com

7125 5th Ave.

(480) 945-9028

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 71


Charlie’s - Phoenix Yee-haw! Mosey on down to Charlie’s for their 15 Days of Christmas celebration starting on December 11. They’ll also be celebrating the 25th Anniversary of the AGRA with special shows, including Pussy LeHoot’s Christmas Extravaganza on December 20, and, of course, a New Year’s Eve hootenanny. CharliesPhoenix.com

727 W. Camelback Rd.

(602) 265-0224

Cherry Lounge - Tempe Life is a bowl of cherries ... at the Cherry Lounge & Pit! Experience the magic of Scandalesque Winter Fantasy, “Solstice” on December 11 & 18. You won’t believe your eyes. TheCherryLoungeAZ.com

1028 E. Indian School Rd.

(602) 277-7729

Dick’s / Dick’s II Cabaret - Phoenix

Nothing says “Homo for the Holidays” like a journey over the river and through the woods to Dick’s Cabaret! With two great locations to choose from, you’ll find plenty of hot guys who really know how to shake their moneymaker just for you. On New Year’s Eve they’ll be offering a special sparkling cider toast. The boys provide the “swizzle sticks.”. DicksCabaret.com

3432 E. Illini St.

(602) 274-DICK

Forbidden Nightclub - Scottsdale “Happy people always make such racket!” And Miss Coco Peru makes people very happy. See her perform with our own Barbra Seville – and many more – on Sunday, December 20 and catch The Big Gay Sketch Show’s “Gay Pimp,” Johnny McGovern, on Friday, December 18 at 9 p.m. Don’t forget the Xmas Pajama Party on December 25 with no cover!

6820 E. 5th Ave.

www.forbiddenaz.com

icepics video bar - Phoenix icepic It nuttier than a fruitcake! Join Pandora and all the ho-ho-ho’s for The It’s Follies every Saturday night in December at 10 p.m. with Skyy Vodka drink specials. Remember: nothing says “Christmas” like a man dressed in ladies’ clothing! icepicsvideobar.com ladies

3108 E. McDowell Rd.

72

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

(602) 267-8707

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 73


Charlie’s - Phoenix Yee-haw! Mosey on down to Charlie’s for their 15 Days of Christmas celebration starting on December 11. They’ll also be celebrating the 25th Anniversary of the AGRA with special shows, including Pussy LeHoot’s Christmas Extravaganza on December 20, and, of course, a New Year’s Eve hootenanny. CharliesPhoenix.com

727 W. Camelback Rd.

(602) 265-0224

Cherry Lounge - Tempe Life is a bowl of cherries ... at the Cherry Lounge & Pit! Experience the magic of Scandalesque Winter Fantasy, “Solstice” on December 11 & 18. You won’t believe your eyes. TheCherryLoungeAZ.com

1028 E. Indian School Rd.

(602) 277-7729

Dick’s / Dick’s II Cabaret - Phoenix

Nothing says “Homo for the Holidays” like a journey over the river and through the woods to Dick’s Cabaret! With two great locations to choose from, you’ll find plenty of hot guys who really know how to shake their moneymaker just for you. On New Year’s Eve they’ll be offering a special sparkling cider toast. The boys provide the “swizzle sticks.”. DicksCabaret.com

3432 E. Illini St.

(602) 274-DICK

Forbidden Nightclub - Scottsdale “Happy people always make such racket!” And Miss Coco Peru makes people very happy. See her perform with our own Barbra Seville – and many more – on Sunday, December 20 and catch The Big Gay Sketch Show’s “Gay Pimp,” Johnny McGovern, on Friday, December 18 at 9 p.m. Don’t forget the Xmas Pajama Party on December 25 with no cover!

6820 E. 5th Ave.

www.forbiddenaz.com

icepics video bar - Phoenix icepic It nuttier than a fruitcake! Join Pandora and all the ho-ho-ho’s for The It’s Follies every Saturday night in December at 10 p.m. with Skyy Vodka drink specials. Remember: nothing says “Christmas” like a man dressed in ladies’ clothing! icepicsvideobar.com ladies

3108 E. McDowell Rd.

72

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

(602) 267-8707

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 73


Karamba - Phoenix The glittering, glamorous Diamond hosts Karamba’s first annual Christmas Posada on December 23 with beer & cocktail specials. On New Year’s Eve the first 200 guests get “The Best of 2009” CD mix & Vaquero Mix. Countdown to the New Year with Susana! KarambaNightclub.com

1724 E. McDowell Rd.

(602) 254-0231

Pumphouse II - Phoenix Say “Goodbye” to 2009 and “Hello” to 2010 at Pumphouse II! Dive in to the 2-for-1 drinks all day and all night while you enjoy a drag show and the sizzling Hot Bodz Crew of strippers! There There’ll be a free buffet, hourly giveaways and a champagne toast! And did we say “no cover?” Well, there’s no cover! Pumphouseii.com there

4132 E. McDowell Rd.

(602) 275-3509

The Rock - Phoenix Between The Rock and a hard place? Then enjoy the party! The glamorous Mya McKenzie presents the Diamond Dolls Christmas Show on Saturday, Dec. 19 and escape Phoenix and enjoy A Night in Paris on New Year’s Eve with champagne, noise makers and more! Ooh la la!

4129 N. 7th Ave.

(602) 248-8559

Roscoe’s - Phoenix Watch the granddaddy of all bowl games, the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day, or the Fiesta Bowl on January 4 – or some Bowl game throughout the year – at the Valley’s one and only sports bar, Roscoe’s on 7th! RoscoesOn7.com

4531 N. 7th St.

(602) 285-0833

Woody’s - Tucson Join Miss Ajia Simone on December 12 for hot ‘n’ sexy launch party for ManAds.com. It’s the annual Snow Ball on December 19, and on New Year’s Eve it’s a party with Niki Haris performing! MyWoodysAZ.com Yea

3710 N. Oracle Rd.

74

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

(520) 292-6702

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 75


Karamba - Phoenix The glittering, glamorous Diamond hosts Karamba’s first annual Christmas Posada on December 23 with beer & cocktail specials. On New Year’s Eve the first 200 guests get “The Best of 2009” CD mix & Vaquero Mix. Countdown to the New Year with Susana! KarambaNightclub.com

1724 E. McDowell Rd.

(602) 254-0231

Pumphouse II - Phoenix Say “Goodbye” to 2009 and “Hello” to 2010 at Pumphouse II! Dive in to the 2-for-1 drinks all day and all night while you enjoy a drag show and the sizzling Hot Bodz Crew of strippers! There There’ll be a free buffet, hourly giveaways and a champagne toast! And did we say “no cover?” Well, there’s no cover! Pumphouseii.com there

4132 E. McDowell Rd.

(602) 275-3509

The Rock - Phoenix Between The Rock and a hard place? Then enjoy the party! The glamorous Mya McKenzie presents the Diamond Dolls Christmas Show on Saturday, Dec. 19 and escape Phoenix and enjoy A Night in Paris on New Year’s Eve with champagne, noise makers and more! Ooh la la!

4129 N. 7th Ave.

(602) 248-8559

Roscoe’s - Phoenix Watch the granddaddy of all bowl games, the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day, or the Fiesta Bowl on January 4 – or some Bowl game throughout the year – at the Valley’s one and only sports bar, Roscoe’s on 7th! RoscoesOn7.com

4531 N. 7th St.

(602) 285-0833

Woody’s - Tucson Join Miss Ajia Simone on December 12 for hot ‘n’ sexy launch party for ManAds.com. It’s the annual Snow Ball on December 19, and on New Year’s Eve it’s a party with Niki Haris performing! MyWoodysAZ.com Yea

3710 N. Oracle Rd.

74

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

(520) 292-6702

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 75


0 1 0 2 PPY

HA W NE R ! YEA Holiday Survival Guide: Now that you’ve decided to get off your butt and have some fun, here are some valuable tips that will help you avoid starting your new year in the hospital, jail or morgue! 1. Know when to say ‘when’. Drink responsibly. Passing out is not a determination of ones limits. Please, know yours. Plus, you want this to be a New Year to remember! 2. Don’t drink and drive. Not even one drink. Sheriff Joe has lots of rooms available and he wants to fill them... Call a Discount Cab so you can go bar hopping with friends and have the time of your life! 4. Behave! Try using the Phoenix Metro Light Rail this year if you plan to visit many hot spots for one fee. 5. If a “friend” offers you an illegal drug for free, the cost is too high and they’re no friend! 6.. Take this copy of ION Arizona Magazine with you wherever you go so you don’t miss a thing! Photos by Jerry O’Conner | Art by Kevin Bushaw | Art Direction by Craig Rubin Styling by Sam Mohamoud & Craig Rubin | Makeup by Anton Khachaturian Models are Kristin, Ahmed Aynab, Dusty (bartender at Forbidden Nightclub, Armando Ibarra, and Brock (owner of desertstallions.com, co-owner of mandiboomboomxxx.com, Performances seen at BS West & Babylon

76

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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 77


0 1 0 2 PPY

HA W NE R ! YEA Holiday Survival Guide: Now that you’ve decided to get off your butt and have some fun, here are some valuable tips that will help you avoid starting your new year in the hospital, jail or morgue! 1. Know when to say ‘when’. Drink responsibly. Passing out is not a determination of ones limits. Please, know yours. Plus, you want this to be a New Year to remember! 2. Don’t drink and drive. Not even one drink. Sheriff Joe has lots of rooms available and he wants to fill them... Call a Discount Cab so you can go bar hopping with friends and have the time of your life! 4. Behave! Try using the Phoenix Metro Light Rail this year if you plan to visit many hot spots for one fee. 5. If a “friend” offers you an illegal drug for free, the cost is too high and they’re no friend! 6.. Take this copy of ION Arizona Magazine with you wherever you go so you don’t miss a thing! Photos by Jerry O’Conner | Art by Kevin Bushaw | Art Direction by Craig Rubin Styling by Sam Mohamoud & Craig Rubin | Makeup by Anton Khachaturian Models are Kristin, Ahmed Aynab, Dusty (bartender at Forbidden Nightclub, Armando Ibarra, and Brock (owner of desertstallions.com, co-owner of mandiboomboomxxx.com, Performances seen at BS West & Babylon

76

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TRASH DISCO

Photos by Kurtis Scholz

Victor Keith Martin 1963-2009

80

WWW.IONAZ.COM

Victor Keith Martin a man who loved life and making others happy, died November 15, 2009 at Casa de la Luz Hospice in Tucson, Arizona. He was 46. Victor’s knack for connecting with and understanding people led to a successful sales career. His zest for life, infectious sense of humor, and sharp wit won him many devoted friends. Gardening was one of Victor’s great passions among his several hobbies and interests; and he created an enchanting English-style garden in the rear of his Phoenix home. His cat, Zen, was a beloved companion. He had a keen eye for interior decorating, and took great pleasure in helping friends and family members resolve their decorating and fashion dilemmas. Most of all, Victor consistently made time for his young niece and nephew, Irie and Isley, who affectionately called their devoted uncle “Tio.” In so many ways, Victor brightened our world and will be deeply missed. It gives us great comfort knowing he is with our Creator and at peace. A Memorial Service for Victor will be held on Friday, December 4, 2009, at St. Philip’s in the Hills Episcopal Church at 2:00 p.m. in Tucson, Arizona. Arrangements handled by ADAIR FUNERAL HOMES, Dodge Chapel, 1050 N. Dodge Blvd., Tucson, AZ 85716, 326-4343.

December 2009

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009


TRASH DISCO

Photos by Kurtis Scholz

Victor Keith Martin 1963-2009

80

WWW.IONAZ.COM

Victor Keith Martin a man who loved life and making others happy, died November 15, 2009 at Casa de la Luz Hospice in Tucson, Arizona. He was 46. Victor’s knack for connecting with and understanding people led to a successful sales career. His zest for life, infectious sense of humor, and sharp wit won him many devoted friends. Gardening was one of Victor’s great passions among his several hobbies and interests; and he created an enchanting English-style garden in the rear of his Phoenix home. His cat, Zen, was a beloved companion. He had a keen eye for interior decorating, and took great pleasure in helping friends and family members resolve their decorating and fashion dilemmas. Most of all, Victor consistently made time for his young niece and nephew, Irie and Isley, who affectionately called their devoted uncle “Tio.” In so many ways, Victor brightened our world and will be deeply missed. It gives us great comfort knowing he is with our Creator and at peace. A Memorial Service for Victor will be held on Friday, December 4, 2009, at St. Philip’s in the Hills Episcopal Church at 2:00 p.m. in Tucson, Arizona. Arrangements handled by ADAIR FUNERAL HOMES, Dodge Chapel, 1050 N. Dodge Blvd., Tucson, AZ 85716, 326-4343.

December 2009

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009


Vol. 3, Issue 9

DECEMBER 2009

����������� OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

�����������������������������������������������������

VEEP Has-Been Hopeful Palin Working at Costco

�����������

since her sudden TEMPE– departure from Alaska’s the Governor’s former office in Alaksa. governor and “By golly, old Republican moose meat’s a “maverick” great source of Sen. John riboflavin, iron, McCain’s phosphorus and Vicezinc,” said Palin. Presidential “And, gosh darnit, running it’s got more mate, Sarah protein and niacin Palin was than you could seen working shake a stick at!” at Tempe’s she quipped with Costco a sly wink to the Wholesale media’s reporters. warehouse Other sources cite on Tuesday, moose meat is has December 1 a heart stoppingly as a “Sample high amount of Lady.” ����������������������������������������������������� cholesterol. “I was shocked,” said Paloma Nathanson. “And I am not gonna stand by silently while “I was there to buy a case of Tofurkey for that ol’ so-and-so Mr. Barry Obama and his the holidays, and there she was – giving knucklehead administration takes precious, out little Moosemeat Sliders! I was delicious moose meat out of my Down shocked!” Syndrome baby’s - what’s his names mouth,” Palin expanded. “And Todd, Track Palin has been touring the country touting and Bristol sure do like it, too.” moose meat on a bun to make ends meet

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WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

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Vol. 3, Issue 9

DECEMBER 2009

����������� OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

�����������������������������������������������������

VEEP Has-Been Hopeful Palin Working at Costco

�����������

since her sudden TEMPE– departure from Alaska’s the Governor’s former office in Alaksa. governor and “By golly, old Republican moose meat’s a “maverick” great source of Sen. John riboflavin, iron, McCain’s phosphorus and Vicezinc,” said Palin. Presidential “And, gosh darnit, running it’s got more mate, Sarah protein and niacin Palin was than you could seen working shake a stick at!” at Tempe’s she quipped with Costco a sly wink to the Wholesale media’s reporters. warehouse Other sources cite on Tuesday, moose meat is has December 1 a heart stoppingly as a “Sample high amount of Lady.” ����������������������������������������������������� cholesterol. “I was shocked,” said Paloma Nathanson. “And I am not gonna stand by silently while “I was there to buy a case of Tofurkey for that ol’ so-and-so Mr. Barry Obama and his the holidays, and there she was – giving knucklehead administration takes precious, out little Moosemeat Sliders! I was delicious moose meat out of my Down shocked!” Syndrome baby’s - what’s his names mouth,” Palin expanded. “And Todd, Track Palin has been touring the country touting and Bristol sure do like it, too.” moose meat on a bun to make ends meet

�����������

�����������

����������������������������������������������������� 82

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����������� Homeless Accept Cash, Check or Charge

�����������������������������������������������������

����������� �����������

PHOENXHall agreed. “Visa –– It’s “Taking plastic Everywhere and checks You Want to has made me Be.” Including a goddam ����������������������������������������������������� Skid Row. millionaire!” The Economic she said. She Meltdown will redistribute has affected her fortune once everyone in she becomes the Amercia from “Rightful queen Park Avenue of Arizona,” as to the Bowery. she describes it. Bums, hobos, drifters, Downtown vagabonds and Tempe’s “Mill other vagrants who have worked hard at Rats” are also taking credit cards. “Between making a living by panhandling have had begging and stealing, with credit cards I can to move from operating on a strictly “cash now earn enough to support my heroin habit only” basis to accepting cashiers’ checks, and feed my dog,” said Dawn S., a teenage money orders and major credit cards. runaway from the Midwest.

�����������

“Times is hard,” said Hal “Snuffy” Porter Banks are encouraging their patrons to from his squat near Jackson Street and 5th use their credit cards when donating to the Avenue. “My daily cash intake has dropped homeless. Gerald S. Symes, New Client ����������������������������������������������������� dramatically in the past year. It just made Accounts Manager for Bank of America more sense for my business model to accept said, “For a limited time, we’re offering credit cards.” Ten out of twelve transients double-miles for each transaction done with surveyed agreed that attaining merchant a bum.” status improved their bottom line. Participating tramps accept Visa, Mastercard Carol “Crazy Bag Lady” Mortinson, who and American Express. Sorry, no personal rants and raves about the government while checks or Discover. cadging for spare change near Symphony

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�����������������������������������������������������


����������� Homeless Accept Cash, Check or Charge

�����������������������������������������������������

����������� �����������

PHOENXHall agreed. “Visa –– It’s “Taking plastic Everywhere and checks You Want to has made me Be.” Including a goddam ����������������������������������������������������� Skid Row. millionaire!” The Economic she said. She Meltdown will redistribute has affected her fortune once everyone in she becomes the Amercia from “Rightful queen Park Avenue of Arizona,” as to the Bowery. she describes it. Bums, hobos, drifters, Downtown vagabonds and Tempe’s “Mill other vagrants who have worked hard at Rats” are also taking credit cards. “Between making a living by panhandling have had begging and stealing, with credit cards I can to move from operating on a strictly “cash now earn enough to support my heroin habit only” basis to accepting cashiers’ checks, and feed my dog,” said Dawn S., a teenage money orders and major credit cards. runaway from the Midwest.

�����������

“Times is hard,” said Hal “Snuffy” Porter Banks are encouraging their patrons to from his squat near Jackson Street and 5th use their credit cards when donating to the Avenue. “My daily cash intake has dropped homeless. Gerald S. Symes, New Client ����������������������������������������������������� dramatically in the past year. It just made Accounts Manager for Bank of America more sense for my business model to accept said, “For a limited time, we’re offering credit cards.” Ten out of twelve transients double-miles for each transaction done with surveyed agreed that attaining merchant a bum.” status improved their bottom line. Participating tramps accept Visa, Mastercard Carol “Crazy Bag Lady” Mortinson, who and American Express. Sorry, no personal rants and raves about the government while checks or Discover. cadging for spare change near Symphony

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WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

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�����������

Inventor of Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Dies ����������� �����������

�����������������������������������������������������

GALESBURG, 75, remembers. “We had Ia– Mothers and Peanut Butter and Jelly schoolchildren Sandwiches sometimes ����������������������������������������������������� everywhere were for breakfast, lunch and saddened to learn dinner. I’d be eating of the passing of them today except that I one of America’s have the diabetes.” culinary giants and great unsung heroes, Throckmorton explored Mrs. Dixie Ann variations of her popular Throckmorton, 102, sandwich with little or the original creator of no success. “Mom’s the Peanut Butter and Mayonnaise and Potato Jelly Sandwich. Chip Sandwich wasn’t too bad, but others, Pennington, an like the Liverwurst ordinary housewife and Marmalade, or the and mother of five, Pickled Pigs Feet and created the world’s Wrigley’s Chewing Gum first PB&J on a warm April day, when sandwiches were just awful. Awful. But her son, Alfred, then 6-years-old, came mom never gave up.” home from school hungry in 1938. The Depression hit the family hard, and the Sadly, Dixie Ann’s kid-crowd pleasing ����������������������������������������������������� exasperated mom grabbed the first thing recipe was stolen. Some think it was an in sight: two slices of bread, peanut butter inside job from Betty Crocker. The world and grape jelly. This was the sandwich that may never know. would change American childrens’ lunches forever. Services for Throckmorton were held at the First Christian Church. Refreshments “My mother was so proud of that of milk and Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich,” her daughter, Sylvia Rhodeway, Sandwiches were served after.

�����������

����������� 86

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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 87 �����������������������������������������������������


�����������

Inventor of Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Dies ����������� �����������

�����������������������������������������������������

GALESBURG, 75, remembers. “We had Ia– Mothers and Peanut Butter and Jelly schoolchildren Sandwiches sometimes ����������������������������������������������������� everywhere were for breakfast, lunch and saddened to learn dinner. I’d be eating of the passing of them today except that I one of America’s have the diabetes.” culinary giants and great unsung heroes, Throckmorton explored Mrs. Dixie Ann variations of her popular Throckmorton, 102, sandwich with little or the original creator of no success. “Mom’s the Peanut Butter and Mayonnaise and Potato Jelly Sandwich. Chip Sandwich wasn’t too bad, but others, Pennington, an like the Liverwurst ordinary housewife and Marmalade, or the and mother of five, Pickled Pigs Feet and created the world’s Wrigley’s Chewing Gum first PB&J on a warm April day, when sandwiches were just awful. Awful. But her son, Alfred, then 6-years-old, came mom never gave up.” home from school hungry in 1938. The Depression hit the family hard, and the Sadly, Dixie Ann’s kid-crowd pleasing ����������������������������������������������������� exasperated mom grabbed the first thing recipe was stolen. Some think it was an in sight: two slices of bread, peanut butter inside job from Betty Crocker. The world and grape jelly. This was the sandwich that may never know. would change American childrens’ lunches forever. Services for Throckmorton were held at the First Christian Church. Refreshments “My mother was so proud of that of milk and Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich,” her daughter, Sylvia Rhodeway, Sandwiches were served after.

�����������

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December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 87 �����������������������������������������������������


IONPHOENIX

88

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1. 1.

Amsterdam Amsterdam

718 N. Central Ave. - Downtown Phoenix

(602) 258-6122

2. 2.

Apollo’s Apollo’s

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 277-9373

3. 3.

Bar 1 Babylon Showclub NEW!

3708 E N.Van 16th St. - Phoenix 3613 Buren, Phoenix, AZ�

266-9001 (602) 306-1000�

4. 4.

BSBar West 1

7125 N. E. 16th 5th Ave. Scottsdale 3702 St. --Phoenix

(480) 945-9028 (602) 266-9001

5. 5.

Bunkhouse BS West

4428 E. N. 5th 7th Ave. Ave. -- Phoenix 7125 Scottsdale

(602) 945-9028 200-9154 (480)

6. 6.

Cash Inn Bunkhouse

2140 N. E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 4428 7th Ave. - Phoenix

244-9943 (602) 200-9154

7. 7.

Charlie’s Cash Inn

727 W. Rd.--Phoenix Phoenix 2140 E. Camelback McDowell Rd.

(602) 265-0224 244-9943

8. 8.

Cherry Bar Charlie’s

1028W. E.Camelback Indian School - Phoenix 727 Rd.Rd. - Phoenix

277-7729 (602) 265-0224

9. 9.

Cherry CherryLounge Bar

EveryE. Thursday starting 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe 1028 Indian School Rd.January - Phoenix (602) 277-7729

10. 10.

The Chute Men’s Club Cherry Lounge

1440 EThursday Indian School Phoenix Every at 9pmRd. on-Mill Ave. in Tempe (602) 234-1654

C 11.

Clarendon The ChuteHotel Men’s Club

401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix 1440 E Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

CLARENDON (602) 234-1654

11. 12.

Club ClubVibe Vibe

E. Indian IndianSchool SchoolRd. Rd.--Phoenix Phoenix 3031 E.

(602) 224-9977

12. 13.

Cruisin’ 7th Cruisin’ 7th

3702 N. 7th St. St. -- Phoenix Phoenix

(602) 212-9888 212-9888 (602)

13. 14.

Dick’s Dick’sCabaret Cabaret

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 274-DICK

14. 15.

The DoorII Dick’s

1126 E. N. McDowell Scottsdale -Rd. - Tempe 2438 Phoenix

(480) 437-DICK 967-DOOR (602)

15. 16.

Forbidden Flex Private Men’s Club

6820 S E.Black 5th Ave. - Scottsdale 1517 Canyon Hwy - Phoenix

forbiddenaz.com (602) 271-9011

16. 17.

Homme Forbidden

138 W. Rd. - Phoenix 6820 E.Camelback 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(602) 266-0875 forbiddenaz.com

17. 18.

icepics Hommevideobar

3108W. E.Camelback McDowell Rd. 138 Rd. -- Phoenix Phoenix

267-8707 (602) 266-0875

18. 19.

Incognito icepics videobar

2424 E. McDowell Thomas Rd. - Phoenix 3108 Rd. - Phoenix

955-9805 (602) 267-8707

19. 20.

Karamba Incognito

1724 E. E. Thomas McDowell - Phoenix 2424 Rd.Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231 955-9805

20. 21.

Kobalt Karamba

3110 E. N. McDowell Central Ave.Rd. - Phoenix 1724 - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231 264-5307 (602)

21. 22.

OZ Kobalt

1804 N. W. Central BethanyAve. Home Rd. - Phoenix 3110 - Phoenix

242-5114 (602) 264-5307

22. 23.

Plazma NEW! Nu Towne

1560 E E.Van Osborn Rd. 5002 Buren St,- Phoenix Phoenix, AZ�

266-0477 (602) 267-9959

23. 24.

Pumphouse II OZ

4132 W. E. McDowell Rd. -Rd. Phoenix 1804 Bethany Home - Phoenix

(602) 275-3509 242-5114

24. 25.

Retro Bar Plazma

3114 E. E. Osborn Cactus Rd. - Phoenix Phoenix 1560

(602) 266-0477 493-0355 (602)

25. 26.

The Rock Pumphouse II

4129 E. N. McDowell 7th Ave. - Phoenix 4132 Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 275-3509 248-8559 (602)

26.

Roscoe’s 4531 N. 2nd 7th St. - Phoenix Radisson Phoenix City Center 3600 Ave. - Phoenix

285-0833 (602) 604-4900

27. 27.

Rainbow RainbowCactus Cactus

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 867-2463

28. 28.

Velocity The Rock

2303 N. E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix 4129 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 248-8559 956-2885 (602)

29. 29.

Wild Card Roscoe’s

801 N.N.Arizona - Chandler 4531 7th St. Ave. - Phoenix

(480) 285-0833 857-3088 (602)

30. 30.

Z Velocity Girl Club

4301 E. N. Indian 7th Ave.School - Phoenix 2303 Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 956-2885 265-3233 (602)

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 89


IONPHOENIX

88

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

1. 1.

Amsterdam Amsterdam

718 N. Central Ave. - Downtown Phoenix

(602) 258-6122

2. 2.

Apollo’s Apollo’s

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 277-9373

3. 3.

Bar 1 Babylon Showclub NEW!

3708 E N.Van 16th St. - Phoenix 3613 Buren, Phoenix, AZ�

266-9001 (602) 306-1000�

4. 4.

BSBar West 1

7125 N. E. 16th 5th Ave. Scottsdale 3702 St. --Phoenix

(480) 945-9028 (602) 266-9001

5. 5.

Bunkhouse BS West

4428 E. N. 5th 7th Ave. Ave. -- Phoenix 7125 Scottsdale

(602) 945-9028 200-9154 (480)

6. 6.

Cash Inn Bunkhouse

2140 N. E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix 4428 7th Ave. - Phoenix

244-9943 (602) 200-9154

7. 7.

Charlie’s Cash Inn

727 W. Rd.--Phoenix Phoenix 2140 E. Camelback McDowell Rd.

(602) 265-0224 244-9943

8. 8.

Cherry Bar Charlie’s

1028W. E.Camelback Indian School - Phoenix 727 Rd.Rd. - Phoenix

277-7729 (602) 265-0224

9. 9.

Cherry CherryLounge Bar

EveryE. Thursday starting 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe 1028 Indian School Rd.January - Phoenix (602) 277-7729

10. 10.

The Chute Men’s Club Cherry Lounge

1440 EThursday Indian School Phoenix Every at 9pmRd. on-Mill Ave. in Tempe (602) 234-1654

C 11.

Clarendon The ChuteHotel Men’s Club

401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix 1440 E Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

CLARENDON (602) 234-1654

11. 12.

Club ClubVibe Vibe

E. Indian IndianSchool SchoolRd. Rd.--Phoenix Phoenix 3031 E.

(602) 224-9977

12. 13.

Cruisin’ 7th Cruisin’ 7th

3702 N. 7th St. St. -- Phoenix Phoenix

(602) 212-9888 212-9888 (602)

13. 14.

Dick’s Dick’sCabaret Cabaret

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 274-DICK

14. 15.

The DoorII Dick’s

1126 E. N. McDowell Scottsdale -Rd. - Tempe 2438 Phoenix

(480) 437-DICK 967-DOOR (602)

15. 16.

Forbidden Flex Private Men’s Club

6820 S E.Black 5th Ave. - Scottsdale 1517 Canyon Hwy - Phoenix

forbiddenaz.com (602) 271-9011

16. 17.

Homme Forbidden

138 W. Rd. - Phoenix 6820 E.Camelback 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(602) 266-0875 forbiddenaz.com

17. 18.

icepics Hommevideobar

3108W. E.Camelback McDowell Rd. 138 Rd. -- Phoenix Phoenix

267-8707 (602) 266-0875

18. 19.

Incognito icepics videobar

2424 E. McDowell Thomas Rd. - Phoenix 3108 Rd. - Phoenix

955-9805 (602) 267-8707

19. 20.

Karamba Incognito

1724 E. E. Thomas McDowell - Phoenix 2424 Rd.Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231 955-9805

20. 21.

Kobalt Karamba

3110 E. N. McDowell Central Ave.Rd. - Phoenix 1724 - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231 264-5307 (602)

21. 22.

OZ Kobalt

1804 N. W. Central BethanyAve. Home Rd. - Phoenix 3110 - Phoenix

242-5114 (602) 264-5307

22. 23.

Plazma NEW! Nu Towne

1560 E E.Van Osborn Rd. 5002 Buren St,- Phoenix Phoenix, AZ�

266-0477 (602) 267-9959

23. 24.

Pumphouse II OZ

4132 W. E. McDowell Rd. -Rd. Phoenix 1804 Bethany Home - Phoenix

(602) 275-3509 242-5114

24. 25.

Retro Bar Plazma

3114 E. E. Osborn Cactus Rd. - Phoenix Phoenix 1560

(602) 266-0477 493-0355 (602)

25. 26.

The Rock Pumphouse II

4129 E. N. McDowell 7th Ave. - Phoenix 4132 Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 275-3509 248-8559 (602)

26.

Roscoe’s 4531 N. 2nd 7th St. - Phoenix Radisson Phoenix City Center 3600 Ave. - Phoenix

285-0833 (602) 604-4900

27. 27.

Rainbow RainbowCactus Cactus

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 867-2463

28. 28.

Velocity The Rock

2303 N. E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix 4129 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 248-8559 956-2885 (602)

29. 29.

Wild Card Roscoe’s

801 N.N.Arizona - Chandler 4531 7th St. Ave. - Phoenix

(480) 285-0833 857-3088 (602)

30. 30.

Z Velocity Girl Club

4301 E. N. Indian 7th Ave.School - Phoenix 2303 Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 956-2885 265-3233 (602)

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 89


�������������������

IONBAR GUIDE PHOENIX

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Discount Cab: Yellow Cab: AAA Cab:

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Charlie’s

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Dick’s Cabaret

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WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

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IF IT’S NOT IN������������, IT’S NOT HAPPENING! December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 91


�������������������

IONBAR GUIDE PHOENIX

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Discount Cab: Yellow Cab: AAA Cab:

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Amsterdam

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IF IT’S NOT IN������������, IT’S NOT HAPPENING! December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 91


IONTUCSON

CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Ain’t Nobody’s Biz Colors Howl at the Moon IBT’s Miguel’s Mexican Restaurant Venture-N Woody’s Yard Dog

2900 E. Broadway 5305 E. Speedway 915 W. Prince Rd. 616 N. 4th Ave. 5900 N. Oracle Rd. 1239 N. 6th Ave. 3710 N. Oracle Rd. 2449 N. Stone

(520) 318-4838 (520) 323-1840 (520) 293-7339 (520) 882-3053 (520) 887-3777 (520) 882-8224 (520) 292-6702 (520) 624-3858

445 S. Alvernon Way 5335 E. Broadway Blvd. 5900 N. Oracle Rd. 204 S. Scott Ave. 3800 E. Sunrise Dr.

(520) 881-4200 (520) 745-2700 (520) 887-4800 (877) 670-9022 (520) 742-6000

ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING 1 2 3 4 5

92

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park Embassy Suites La Posada Lodge and Casitas Royal Elizabeth B&B The Westin La Paloma

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 93


IONTUCSON

CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Ain’t Nobody’s Biz Colors Howl at the Moon IBT’s Miguel’s Mexican Restaurant Venture-N Woody’s Yard Dog

2900 E. Broadway 5305 E. Speedway 915 W. Prince Rd. 616 N. 4th Ave. 5900 N. Oracle Rd. 1239 N. 6th Ave. 3710 N. Oracle Rd. 2449 N. Stone

(520) 318-4838 (520) 323-1840 (520) 293-7339 (520) 882-3053 (520) 887-3777 (520) 882-8224 (520) 292-6702 (520) 624-3858

445 S. Alvernon Way 5335 E. Broadway Blvd. 5900 N. Oracle Rd. 204 S. Scott Ave. 3800 E. Sunrise Dr.

(520) 881-4200 (520) 745-2700 (520) 887-4800 (877) 670-9022 (520) 742-6000

ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING 1 2 3 4 5

92

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park Embassy Suites La Posada Lodge and Casitas Royal Elizabeth B&B The Westin La Paloma

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 93


by Addison DeWitt

It looks like yet once again I’ll be spending the Holidays in the WonderVu Trailer Court standing under the mistletoe alone. And just when I thought I had a boyfriend. And I did. For five days. Five. Cinco. He was younger. Much. Completely age inappropriate. And on the rebound. And drinks. It was perfect. But just as the cup of happiness was at my quivering, salivating lips another chickenhawk snatched him out from under my favorite little nose at a party. The kid was there one minute, then – poof! – he was gone. So word to the wise: if you have a young Turk and go to any holiday parties, check the guest list first and ferret out any potential chickenhawks, cockblockers and other prickheisters. Gays everywhere are all in agog about Lady Gaga’s newly released “Fame Monster” in addition to her recent dazzling appearances on the American Music Awards and Jay Leno. And the fashion world is rocking from her fabulous footwear. Alexander McQueen is the queen responsible for Gaga ‘s fab, space age zapatos. However, eerily enough the shoes resemble the head of a Bedlington Terrier. (See picture) Frightening. And with a “Ki-yi-yippee yay” people turned out for Charlie’s 25th Anniversary at the ol’ homestead in Phoenix. The winsome Pussy LeHoot 94

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

reminisced about the good ol’ days when she first came to that lil bitty ol’ pissant country place during The Great Goldschläger Rush of 1895 as a young(ish) drag queen with a nothing but tube lipstick and a dream. And a couple of hamburgers. And a bottle of Everclear. And look at her now! We love you, Pussy! Big congrats and thanks go out to owner John King. You’re fabulous and divine. And I don’t say that about everybody, darling. The Good Book says “When one door closes, another one opens.” I’m not really sure which Good Book. I’ve read so many. But the ho-hum Homme is closed. But on a more exciting note, the former pussy palace and titty city, Babylon Showclub is open. This exciting venue features go-go boys, drag, and the dreamy, handsome Bradford Crespo behind the bar. And, so sorry, my little lords and lads of leather – I hate to dash your holiday hopes, really I do – but for once and for all, I’m here to quash any rumors that the remains of the ancient Aztec temple that was originally La Cucaracha Mexican Restaurant then known as The Wave, then as padlock, and ultimately as cellblock is most reliably undeniably dead. It will never, ever, ever be reopened as a gay bar. The wrecking ball is slated to tear down the remains of that bastion of debauchery and the December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 95


by Addison DeWitt

It looks like yet once again I’ll be spending the Holidays in the WonderVu Trailer Court standing under the mistletoe alone. And just when I thought I had a boyfriend. And I did. For five days. Five. Cinco. He was younger. Much. Completely age inappropriate. And on the rebound. And drinks. It was perfect. But just as the cup of happiness was at my quivering, salivating lips another chickenhawk snatched him out from under my favorite little nose at a party. The kid was there one minute, then – poof! – he was gone. So word to the wise: if you have a young Turk and go to any holiday parties, check the guest list first and ferret out any potential chickenhawks, cockblockers and other prickheisters. Gays everywhere are all in agog about Lady Gaga’s newly released “Fame Monster” in addition to her recent dazzling appearances on the American Music Awards and Jay Leno. And the fashion world is rocking from her fabulous footwear. Alexander McQueen is the queen responsible for Gaga ‘s fab, space age zapatos. However, eerily enough the shoes resemble the head of a Bedlington Terrier. (See picture) Frightening. And with a “Ki-yi-yippee yay” people turned out for Charlie’s 25th Anniversary at the ol’ homestead in Phoenix. The winsome Pussy LeHoot 94

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

reminisced about the good ol’ days when she first came to that lil bitty ol’ pissant country place during The Great Goldschläger Rush of 1895 as a young(ish) drag queen with a nothing but tube lipstick and a dream. And a couple of hamburgers. And a bottle of Everclear. And look at her now! We love you, Pussy! Big congrats and thanks go out to owner John King. You’re fabulous and divine. And I don’t say that about everybody, darling. The Good Book says “When one door closes, another one opens.” I’m not really sure which Good Book. I’ve read so many. But the ho-hum Homme is closed. But on a more exciting note, the former pussy palace and titty city, Babylon Showclub is open. This exciting venue features go-go boys, drag, and the dreamy, handsome Bradford Crespo behind the bar. And, so sorry, my little lords and lads of leather – I hate to dash your holiday hopes, really I do – but for once and for all, I’m here to quash any rumors that the remains of the ancient Aztec temple that was originally La Cucaracha Mexican Restaurant then known as The Wave, then as padlock, and ultimately as cellblock is most reliably undeniably dead. It will never, ever, ever be reopened as a gay bar. The wrecking ball is slated to tear down the remains of that bastion of debauchery and the December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 95


property will house a brand new Panda Express. So, no, you may not be able to wade through a pool of stagnant water from a leaking urinal to get a blowjob in the dark corner, but you can can get an order of Kung Pao Chicken that’ll blow your ass off, if that’s any consolation. I’m just sayin’. I have an especially soft spot in my

96

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iron clad heart for this Party Penguin. Not only is he the Party Penguin of the month, my dears, but in my not particularly humble opinion he’s the Party Penguin of the Year. Perhaps of the Ages, even. Yep. He’s He that incredible. He definitely sets the standard and raises the bar. Any bar. I could wax poetic about his charm and wit. It’s none other than our very own Craig Rubin Rubin. Shut it down, bitch! We love you. Especially me. _ Share your favorite horror stories about cockblocking and sexploits with Addison. Write to him at RumorHound@aol.com

97

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 97


property will house a brand new Panda Express. So, no, you may not be able to wade through a pool of stagnant water from a leaking urinal to get a blowjob in the dark corner, but you can can get an order of Kung Pao Chicken that’ll blow your ass off, if that’s any consolation. I’m just sayin’. I have an especially soft spot in my

96

WWW.IONAZ.COM December 2009

iron clad heart for this Party Penguin. Not only is he the Party Penguin of the month, my dears, but in my not particularly humble opinion he’s the Party Penguin of the Year. Perhaps of the Ages, even. Yep. He’s He that incredible. He definitely sets the standard and raises the bar. Any bar. I could wax poetic about his charm and wit. It’s none other than our very own Craig Rubin Rubin. Shut it down, bitch! We love you. Especially me. _ Share your favorite horror stories about cockblocking and sexploits with Addison. Write to him at RumorHound@aol.com

97

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 97


Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22 Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

You light up a room when you walk in. You’re like a candle, an incandescent bulb, CFL, and LED all rolled into one. Share some of that fabulous light with someone else, and they’ll shed some light on a very important subject for you.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

You’re going to learn something new this month. It could be anything from origami, to tap dancing, to a new recipe. But if you practice real hard, this will be a new talent you can use the rest of your life. Along with origami.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

If you have a choice between two evils, choose the one you haven’t tried before. You just might find out that it isn’t even that evil. But it is a little kinky. And you won’t need to take an antibiotic afterward.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

You’re having déjà-vu all over again this month. Yes, you have been in this same place and situation before. Follow your instincts and it’ll be a piece of cake. But you may want to re-think your outfit ahead of time.

Leo July 23 - Sep. 22

Bah, humbug! Don’t be such a Scrooge! We all know it’s just an act and you’ve got a heart of gold. Let it show this Holiday Season. You’ll find a special something – or someone – under the tree for you. So brush your teeth.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. Keep your eyes on the prize and examine a new opportunity from every angle and you’ll make the right decision in the long run. And order pie with every meal. Go ahead. 98

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December 2009

“Duck, duck, duck – goose!” Things feel like endless chase and you’re scrambling to stay in the circle. Figure out what the stakes are and decide if the game is worth it. Next month is Musical Chairs. You’ll win every round, guaranteed.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov. 23

You’re just Little Mary Sunshine these days, and your attitude hasn’t gone unnoticed. You can count on one Jolly Old Elf delivering an extra special gift to you for Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Or Ramadan. Whatever! Hey, it’s a present!

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23 If you have a birthday this month you’ll have an unexpected reunion with someone from your past. What you make of this rekindled acquaintance is up to you. In the meantime, get a new haircut and go dancing!

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

If you share a birthday with other Capricorns note the importance of that: sharing. Be generous with gift and spirit, and it will return to you ten-fold. But it still might be a good idea to hang on to any receipts, just in case.

Aquarias Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Look up. Look down. Look all around. Look at my thumb. No, you’re not dumb but pay special attention to your surroundings. Lately you’re a bit spacey. Sweet, but spacey. You’ll be making more friends than usual.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

You’re loaded with more talent than a baked potato has sour cream. But remember: not everybody likes chives. Don’t spread yourself too thin this month. Give somebody a little extra “quality time” and see how they sparkle, too.

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 99


Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22 Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

You light up a room when you walk in. You’re like a candle, an incandescent bulb, CFL, and LED all rolled into one. Share some of that fabulous light with someone else, and they’ll shed some light on a very important subject for you.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

You’re going to learn something new this month. It could be anything from origami, to tap dancing, to a new recipe. But if you practice real hard, this will be a new talent you can use the rest of your life. Along with origami.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

If you have a choice between two evils, choose the one you haven’t tried before. You just might find out that it isn’t even that evil. But it is a little kinky. And you won’t need to take an antibiotic afterward.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

You’re having déjà-vu all over again this month. Yes, you have been in this same place and situation before. Follow your instincts and it’ll be a piece of cake. But you may want to re-think your outfit ahead of time.

Leo July 23 - Sep. 22

Bah, humbug! Don’t be such a Scrooge! We all know it’s just an act and you’ve got a heart of gold. Let it show this Holiday Season. You’ll find a special something – or someone – under the tree for you. So brush your teeth.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. Keep your eyes on the prize and examine a new opportunity from every angle and you’ll make the right decision in the long run. And order pie with every meal. Go ahead. 98

WWW.IONAZ.COM

December 2009

“Duck, duck, duck – goose!” Things feel like endless chase and you’re scrambling to stay in the circle. Figure out what the stakes are and decide if the game is worth it. Next month is Musical Chairs. You’ll win every round, guaranteed.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov. 23

You’re just Little Mary Sunshine these days, and your attitude hasn’t gone unnoticed. You can count on one Jolly Old Elf delivering an extra special gift to you for Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Or Ramadan. Whatever! Hey, it’s a present!

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23 If you have a birthday this month you’ll have an unexpected reunion with someone from your past. What you make of this rekindled acquaintance is up to you. In the meantime, get a new haircut and go dancing!

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

If you share a birthday with other Capricorns note the importance of that: sharing. Be generous with gift and spirit, and it will return to you ten-fold. But it still might be a good idea to hang on to any receipts, just in case.

Aquarias Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Look up. Look down. Look all around. Look at my thumb. No, you’re not dumb but pay special attention to your surroundings. Lately you’re a bit spacey. Sweet, but spacey. You’ll be making more friends than usual.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

You’re loaded with more talent than a baked potato has sour cream. But remember: not everybody likes chives. Don’t spread yourself too thin this month. Give somebody a little extra “quality time” and see how they sparkle, too.

December 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 99



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