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SKIN TIGHT BEACH PARTY
KARAMBA
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3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012 (602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR ..................... Stacey Jay Cavaliere PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS
ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero, .......................................................... (602) 750-1164
jacktesorero@me.com
Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ......................... (520) 429-5905
ionazsales@me.com
Sign up now for Auditions! PhoenixMensChorus.org/auditions or call 602-228-5587
Photographers:
Fernando Hernandez Danny Catt Scotty Kirby Sean Kapera Franklin Diaz National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:
Stacey Jay Cavaliere Addison DeWitt C. Edwards Ted Kirby
Peter Lora Albert Rivas Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger
Published monthly by
1995-2014: 19 Years of Design and Creative Excellence Š 2014 JMT Designs, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.
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Welcome to Hell You knew this day would come. We warned you. We told you it would be bad. Yes. I’m talking about summer in Arizona. But you didn’t listen. You’re still here. Okay, turn up your air conditioning, put on some sunscreen, put on your swimsuit and get ready for another dry, hot, sizzling summer in the desert. Fortunately, we’re here to help you get through it. We’re in this together. We celebrate 13 years of publishing ION Arizona this month against all odds, under funded and with a number of competitors in the same market. We grew from 48 black and white pages to 132 full-color pages. We’ve donated hundreds of thousands of dollars in ads to charities. And we are still here. In fact, we are stronger than ever. How? We ask questions. We reinvest. We include. We evolve. We listen. This month we’re proud to partner again with SWAY Events for their 4th annual “Dancing with the Bars” fundraising and dance competition on July 27 at the Celebrity Theatre. This year the competition is really heating up. Look for all the contestants that will light up the dance floor on page 69. We welcome a new writer to our staff; Peter Lora will now brings us his great, fresh take on new music, news and reviews. Our popular Movie and DVD reviews are still here, but with a fresh voice. Let us know what you think. There’s nothing more that gets me fired up than saving money. We all know it’s easy 12
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to burn through money but at ION we’re here to help. Throughout this and every hot, sexy issue, you’ll find coupons. Yes, I hate coupons, too, but I love a discount! Enjoy a free appetizer at Nick’s Italian Restaurant (get their bruschetta), there’s a buy one get one free at Vapor Vortex, Free B12 shot at Vital Male, $2 off your next car wash at Los Olivos, and, of course, great drink specials at all your favorite bars and restaurants to name a few. Last month we teased you with a new event that’s coming this summer. It’s called “IGNITION PHOENIX 2014.” It’s the first ever LGBT auto show. We partnered with our friends at Echo Magazine as well as many other organizations to bring you this amazing event. Best of all, 100% of the admission and raffle profits goes directly to the QU Scholarship Fund and the new Phoenix Pride Community Center. The event is on Saturday, August 30 (Labor Day Weekend) from 12 noon-8 p.m. in the air conditioned Arizona State Fair Grounds Veterans Memorial Coliseum. We still need more sponsors and cars so call me at 602-750-1164 or email me at JackTesorero@me.com. There will be a kick-off party on Friday and an After Party on Saturday. Check out the August issue of ION and future issues of Echo for all the details. Don’t miss it! Enjoy this issue. Get out, cool down, and have fun. It’s hot as hell out there but I’m going out to enjoy all our community has to offer!
Jack Tesorero
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EY S M A R IZZIE resents p
n a b r u soul
VER NO CO RINK IRST D F 5 $ I T. WITH POUR E W . T LL I YO U C A ANDS NG ISL O L 5 $ PLUS
NON CHOI PVHEORP
URBA
S Y A › R ›D U T S A GOGOS
Show Time
Lust
e Gam Day
AST 2AM MUSIC P
INKS TA L L D R
T H U R S D A Y
$5 SHOWTINIS
10PM SHOWTIME
Featuring Ian Christiansen & Barbra Seville PHX’s Best Drag & Theatre Cabaret
F R I D A Y
$3 SMIRNOFFS UNTIL MIDNITE
TOP 40
G O G O S , M U S I C PA S T 2 A M
S U N D A Y
2 – 4 – 1 ALL DAY
Open @ 3PM, Bar Games Ping Pong l Water Pong lGiant Jenga Cornhole l Left Right Center l Darts
TRIVIA NIGHT STARTS @ 8PM 718 N Central Avenue | PHX, AZ | 85004
602.258.6122
thebaroncentral.com facebook.com/thebaroncentral
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G3 1ST ANNIVERSARY PARTY
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otter pop
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PHOENIX
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Naughty or Nice Bingo Honey, bring your little trolls and good luck charms, but this ain’t your granny’s bingo at the church hall. Naughty or Nice Bingo is back! So get ready for some raunchy, racy and risqué fun with prizes and 2-4-1 U-Call-It drink specials! Every Monday night at 8:30 p.m. at Apollo’s Lounge, 5749 N. 7th St. 602-277-9373 BINGO! See ad p. 11
Hell Freezes Over! The metaphor comes to life! “Hell Freezes Over!” Charlie’s posse rounds up 17 tons of ice cold snow and turns the North Forty into the North Pole, complete with a snow slide, sizzling hot go-go boys and frozen drinks. Hell Freezes Over on the 12th of Never—I mean, July 12—at 727 W. Camelback Rd. 602-265-0224. What happens when pigs fly? See ad on p. 26
Imperial Court Closet Ball Hear ye! Hear ye! Release your inner Drag Queen —or Drag King! Leather Daddy or Twinkie! Fag Stag or Stag Hag! Let your inhibitions go at the incredible Closet Ball presented by the Imperial Sovereign Empire of Arizona. Don’t miss this royal gender bending fundraising fantasy event on Saturday, July 19 at the Wyndham Garden Phoenix Hotel, 3600 N. 2nd Ave. Go to ImperialCourtAZ.com for more info. See ad on p. 68
Move Live Keep on dancin’! Move over, Fred and Ginger! “Dancing With The Stars” siblings Derek and Julianne Hough bring their amazing talent to the stage with ballroom, salsa, hip-hop and tap! They’re bringing sets, costumes and a cast of talented dancers to the Comerica Theatre on Sunday, July 20 at 7:30 p.m. 400 W. Washington St. Phoenix. TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000 24
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Commando Party! A-ten-HUT! Break out the fatigues and dog tags! Dust off your dress whites! Jump into your sailor suit! Whatever you do ... we’re goin’ commando, boys and girls! The Bar on Central is also giving a 21 (and over!) gun salute to David Griswold. Uncle Sam’s nephew returns home from the U.S. Army, so help celebrate on Saturday, July 19. No cover, go-go dancers and afterhours! 718 N. Central Ave. 602-258-6122. See ad on p. 27
The Anvil Grand Opening Since you’ve got your uniform, head over to The Anvil, too, the Valley’s “top” (and “bottom!”) Levi/ Leather bar for manly men who like things manly. Celebrate their grand opening on Saturday, July 19 in their new HQ at 2424 E. Thomas Rd. See ad on p. 26
JULY 2014 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE
EVENT
LOCATION
CITY
Mondays Naughty or Nice Bingo Wednesdays Comedy Night 4 Fourth of July Party 11 Espinoza Paz After Party 11 Bearracuda 12 Summer Dart Tournament 12 Hell Freezes Over 18 & 19 XXXmas in July 19 Commando Party! 19 Anvil Grand Opening! 19 Imperial Court Closet Ball 20 Move Live On Tour 26 White Party 27 Dancing With The Bars 27 Pool Party 30 Lady GaGa After Party
Apollo’s Apollo’s Karamba’s Karamba’s The Rock Roscoe’s Charlie’s Dick’s Cabaret The Bar on Central Anvil Bar Wyndham Garden Hotel Comerica Theatre Karamba’s Celebrity Theatre The FLEX Karamba’s
Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix
2
Charlie’s
Phoenix
AUGUST
Jello Wrestling
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Commando SatJuly19
A Homecoming Celebration for David Griswold
NO COVER l Taste “The GriZz” ONLY $5 Largest Patio & Dance Floor in PHX Sexy GoGos l Music Past 2am Dizzie Ramsey presents
urban soul
Saturdays in July $5 First Drink. You Call It. We Pour It. 718 N Central Avenue | Phoenix, AZ | 85004 l 3 MIN WALK from Roosevelt Light Rail Station 602.258.6122 | thebaroncentral.com | facebook.com/thebaroncentral
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El Luchador vs The Bearbies
O L L JE TLING
24 Amazing
S E R W
Benefiting: • Joshua Tree Feeding Project • Chicanos por la Causa AZ Elite • Phx Hellraisers • AZ ICE • The Men of Charlie’s
Wrestlers!
RETUR
to Ch
NS
Augu arlies st 2n d
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Pamela Martinez vs Vannah The Vagina Slammer
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ust 2
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IT JIGG
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Dragalicious V So rich! So tasty! So irresistible! It could only be “Dragalicious!” The fifth annual star-studded event of gender illusion and entertainment is presented by ArizonaDrag.com on Saturday, July 12. RuPaul’s Drag Race alum and (briefly) Miss Gay America 2010 Alyssa Edwards is the special guest star with other national and state queens and kings. The glamour happens at the Wyndham Garden Phoenix Hotel ballroom, 3600 N. 2nd Ave. Phoenix. Get your tickets at ArizonaDrag.com.
JULY 2014 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE
TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S)
July 4th
10:00pm The Rock
The Jackie & Olive Show
Mondays
10:00pm Charlie’s
Barbra Seville w/ Strippers!
Mondays
10:00pm Apollo’s
Naughty or Nice Bingo with Lezbein & Eryka D. Knowles
Tuesday
10:00pm Karamba
Savannah Moussier’s Show
Wednesdays 9:00pm
IBT’s
Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Wednesdays 9:00pm
Kobalt
Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Thursdays
9:30pm
Thursdays
10:30pm Karamba
The Bar
Viva La DIVA Girls of Karamba - Adriana Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste 2 Girls 1 Cup with Celia Putty & Guest Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos Showtime at the Bar with Ian and Barbra Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds
Thursdays
AQUA
Maniqiues with Tyra Marie & Sasha Bratz
Fridays
The Rock
Special Event Rotating Drag Shows
10:30
Fridays
7:00pm
OZ
Ruby Reynolds with the Boys of OZ
Fridays
9:00pm
IBT’s
Absolutely Flawless with China Collins
Fridays
10:00pm Cruisin’ 7th
The Barbra Seville Show
Fridays
9:00pm
Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers
BS West
1st Saturday 9:30pm
Kobalt
Taylor Made with TC Taylor & Special Guests
Saturdays
8:00pm
OZ
Saturday Night Showgirlz with Ruby
Saturdays
9:00pm
IBT’s
Saturdays
10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th
Starrletts with Janee Star The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams
Saturdays
10:00pm The Rock
The Barbra Seville Show
Saturdays
10:00pm icepics
The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan
Saturdays
9:30pm
Charlie’s
Pussy’s Patio Show
Saturdays
9:30pm
Zorf’s
BeDazzled
Sundays
AQUA
Siluetas with Susana
Sundays
8:30pm
Charlie’s
Pussy LeHoot & Friends
Sundays
10:30pm Karamba
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hen Richard Van Stone and Kevin Hilzendeger stepped onto the stage as pageant promoters, the Entertainer of the Year system appealed to them most since it welcomes entertainers of all styles—not purely female impersonation. “Last year was our first journey to Nationals with Halle O’Day. The experience was like nothing we have ever seen before and the level of drag was amazing!” Van Stone said. “Southwest Entertainer of the Year was the first pageant we promoted and was a great learning experience for us. When the opportunity presented itself to grow into Arizona Entertainer of the Year we took up the reigns and expanded the title to include Miss, Mr. and King.” Entertainer of the Year focuses on four primary categories: Presentation, On Stage Question, Talent and Creative Evening wear. The Mr. title also includes the additional category of Swimwear. The 2014 Entertainer of the Year finals will be July 24-25 at the Horseshoe Casino in southern Indiana. We wish all the contestants and alternates representing Arizona the best of luck!
Counterclockwise from top center. Mr. Arizona EOY 2014 Prince, Miss Arizona EOY 2014 China Collins, Runner-up Karimé Lizaldi, Miss Southwest EOY 2014 Zonnique Demornay Glam, Felicia Minor, King Arizona EOY 2014 Gunner Gatlyn, Classy Corona, Kevin Hilzendeger and Richard Van Stone. July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 41
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Scorpius Dance Theatre This sexy dance company brings a night of runway fashion to the stage with dance and the music of the 80s in “Catwalk: I Love Duran Duran” to the Phoenix Theatre stage Fri. & Sat., July 11-12. 100 E. McDowell Rd. Tickets: ScorpiusDance.com or call 602-254-2151. Check out the breathtaking, seductive and energetic “Intimate,” July 19 & August 1 at the Black Theatre Troupe building, 1333 E. Washington St. in Phoenix. Tickets: ActorsTheatrePHX.org or call 602-888-0368
A Night with Noel Coward Okay, if you’re not acquainted with the name of Sir Noel Coward, the brilliant British playwright, composer, actor and singer, you’re in danger of losing your Gay Card, kids. Sophisticated, sarcastic and downright funny, you’ll have the time of your life during this chic evening of music hosted by the dashing, urbane Ian Christiansen. Saturday, July 26 at the Black Theatre Troupe building, 1333 E. Washington St. in Phoenix. For tickets go to ActorsTheatrePHX.org or call 602-888-0368
Lisa Lampanelli The Queen of Mean and champion foul mouthed insult comic Lisa Lampanelli comes to town with her sidesplitting, irreverent comedy that’ll leave you in stitches, bitches. If any cob-gobblers or rug-munchers sit in the front rows, look out! Saturday, August 2 at the Talking Stick Resort, 9800 E. Indian Bend Rd. in Scottsdale. For tickets visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-921-9877
JULY 2014 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION 3-6 Carlos Mencia Stand Up Live - Phx 5 Jeff Dunham Casino del Sol - Tucson 5-23 Agony & Ecstasy of Steve Jobs Actors Theatre 10-13 Greg Fitzsimmons Stand Up Live - Phx 11-12 Catwalk: I Love Duran Duran Scorpius Dance Theatre 11 & 16 The Fever Actors Theatre 11-8/3 Cabaret Desert Stages Theatre 11-8/17 Peter Pan AZ B’way Theatre 18 Russell Peters Talking Stick Resort 18-8/3 The Boob Show Actors Theatre 19, 8/1 “Intimate” Scorpius Dance 22-8/10 Jersey Boys ASU Gammage 24-27 Bill Bellamy Tempe Improv 26 A Night w/ Noel Coward Actors Theatre 27 Sinatra to Sondheim Actors Theatre thru 8/10 The Cottage Actors Theatre thru 8/17 The Book Club Play Actors Theatre 31-8/2 Hal Sparks Tempe Improv AUGUST 2 Lisa Lampanelli Talking Stick Resort
PHONE 480-719-6100 800-344-9435 602-888-0368 480-719-6100 602-254-2151 602-888-0368 480-483-1664 623-776-8400 800-745-3000 602-888-0368 602-888-0368 480-965-3434 480-921-9877 602-888-0368 602-888-0368 602-888-0368 602-888-0368 480-921-9877 800-745-3000
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The Go-Go’s & The Motels The golden years of the 80s ... the Reagans were in the White House and pop music was at its best! The Go-Go’s sang, “Our Lips Are Sealed,” and “Vacation.” The Motels his include “Shame” and “Suddenly Last Summer.” Catch ‘em belting out their best on Wednesday, July 23 at Talking Stick Resort, 9800 E. Indian Bend Rd. Visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000 for tickets.
“The Voice” Tour See past stars and this season’s finalist from the hit NBC TV singing contest, “The Voice” when the tour hits Phoenix. They’ll be singing their little hearts out on Thursday, July 24 at the Comerica Theatre at 401 W. Washington St. Get your tickets at TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000. Sorry, no sexy Adam Levine.
Tori Amos The legendary Grammy nominated ginger brings her sometimes ethereal baroque rock music with her trademark acoustic piano-based sound to Phoenix. Amos’s unique songs inspire and evoke emotion and her honest passion is unparalled. She’s a big hit with the ladies, too. Friday, July 25 at the Mesa Arts Center, 1 E. Main St. Get tickets now! Call 480-644-6500 or visit MesaArtsCenter.com
JULY 2014 ION Concert Calendar DATE 3 3 9 11 15 17 19 21 23 23 24 24 25 25 26 30
ARTIST LOCATION Art Garfunkel Talking Stick Resort - Scottsdale Kenny Rogers Casino del Sol - Tucson KISS & Def Leppard Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix Rockstar Energy Mayhem Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix Steely Dan Comerica Theatre - Phoenix The Antlers Crescent Ballroom - Phoenix Chris Isaak Wild Horse Pass Casino - Chandler Man or Astro-Man Crescent Ballroom - Phoenix The Go-Go’s & The Motels Talking Stick Resort - Scottsdale Boston, The Band & Cheap Trick Casino del Sol - Tucson Lyle Lovett Mesa Arts Center - Mesa “The Voice” Tour Comerica Theatre- Phoenix Boston, The Band & Cheap Trick Comerica Theatre - Phoenix Tori Amos Mesa Arts Center - Mesa Dierks Bentley & Others Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix Lady Gaga US Airways Center - Phoenix
PHONE 800-745-3000 800-344-9435 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 602-716-2222 800--WIN-GILA 602-716-2222 800-745-3000 800-344-9435 480-644-6500 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 480-644-6500 800-745-3000 800-745-3000
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by Peter Lora pintelonegro@gmail.com
Aural Fixation Adore Delano
Till Death Do Us Party If bubblegum retailer Forever 21 were an album, it would be this debut by RuPaul’s Drag Race runnerup, Adore Delano, aka “American Idol” contestant Danny Noriega. The album encapsulates the priorities of Adore and anyone in their early twenties: glitter, boys, booze and everything Party! The first single, DTF, is an Iggy Azalea-esque down-and-dirty, hip-hop anthem chronicle of the all too well-known disappointment (and eventual acceptance) of our Grindr dalliances. Delano also includes a clever cover of Shannon’s 1984 hit Give Me Tonight. Songs like Calling All Goddesses and Party make you think Adore is better at being her idol Britney Spears than she is at actually being herself. The glitter does settle somewhere. Ballad I Adore U, if it had it been sung by pop institutions Katy Perry or Miley Cyrus would surely be a #1 hit. Like Forever 21’s disposable fashion, Till Death Do Us Party is full of things you’ll fall in love with at first and eventually throw away, but what’s important is that there are glimmers of taste and style for when you grow up and can afford the real thing. Available Now
SIA
1000 Forms of Fear Chances are you’re already a fan of SIA. She’s the Australian pop mastermind behind Rihanna’s Diamonds and Beyoncé’s Pretty Hurts, to drop a couple of names. SIA first stepped into the limelight with Breathe Me, the haunting ballad featured in the last 10 minutes of the
finale of HBO’s series “Six Feet Under.” In 2010 after struggling with drugs and alcohol she stopped performing and became solely a writer for the highest of pop royalty. Four years later the reluctant diva SIA is back with her sixth album 1000 Forms of Fear and with this an album an artful approach to performance. Chandelier is part Rihanna “throw-caution-to-the-wind” party anthem, part melancholia-tinged ballad and when the chorus hits you can’t help but think it’d be nearly impossible for anyone else to sing this. Songs like Elastic Heart and Eye of the Needle are the perfect balance of ethereal and bombastic vocals over the ever so popular dub-step rhythm. SIA is determined to approach fame on her own terms: anonymously. The wigs … the wigs serve as a reminder that what is only a hit song for Rihanna, Beyonce or Christina Aguilera is a life for SIA. Full Album Available July 8
Jamie XX
THE DL SONGS TO DOWNLOAD
ARTIST SONG Jamie XX Girl SIA Chandelier Adore Delano I Adore U Sohn Artifice Charli XCX Boom Clap MIA Double Bubble Trouble Sisyphus Take Me La Roux Uptight Downtown Juce Call You Out Caribou Can’t Do Without You Lykke Li No Rest For The Wicked June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 49 July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 49
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IONAZeditor@me.com
Tammy Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Susan Sarandon, Ben Falcone, Dan Aykroyd, Kathy Bates Tammy (McCarthy co-writer with real life husband, director Falcone—both in Bridesmaids, Identity Thief) totals her POS car, loses her job at a fast-food burger joint Topper Jacks and finds her husband sleeping with the neighbor gal. What do you do? Rob your exemployer and hit the road with your hard-drinking grandma (Sarandon) and book it to Niagara Falls Thelma and Louise style. Except the road hits back. Opens July 2
America What if the American colonies lost the Revolutionary War? No Lincoln. No New Deal. No Ron and Nancy!? This Right Wing documentary claptrap from ultraConservative bullshit artist and campaign finance law violator Dinesh D’Souza (2016: Obama’s America) examines just that. Bad dramatic reenactments à la History Channel. Opens July 4
Conservatives think is happening since America didn’t lose the Revolutionary War (see above preview). A growing nation of genetically evolved apes led by Caesar (Serkis, Star Wars: Episode VII, The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug) is threatened by a band of human survivors of the devastating virus unleashed a decade earlier. They reach a short-lived peace when both sides are brought to the brink of a war that will determine who will emerge as Earth’s dominant species. Opens July 11
Hercules Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Irina Shayk, John Hurt The first of two Hercules movies this year, we find the legendary strong man and demigod, Hercules (Johnson, WWF and Fast & Furious 6), the original superhero, finishing up his exhausting Twelve Labors (you try shoveling out the Augean stables and see how you like it) when the King of Thrace (Hurt, Midnight Express, Harry Potter franchise) and his beautiful daughter Megara (Shayk, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model), summon him as a sword-for-hire mercenary to combat the descendants of Hades. Based on the graphic novel, Hercules: the Thracian Wars. 3-D and IMAX. Opens July 25
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes Starring: Andy Serkis, Keri Russell, Gary Oldman This sequel to the 2011 Rise of the Planet of the Apes is what Right Wing July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 51
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by Deon Brown IONAZeditor@me.com
Just Say “No,” Mary! First Lady Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign to keep kids off drugs wasn’t the worst idea to come out of the White House.
We focus on two really very solid and well-made gay indie films. That doesn’t happen often. One film examines the dangers of the Evil Weed with It’s Roots in Hell and the other exposes what happens to cute boys who travel alone, end up partying in seedy Eurotrash nightclubs and take E, GHB, Special K and all the other drugs in the alphabet. Cautionary tales, both.
In Bloom 2013 Starring: Kyle Wigent, Tanner Rittenhouse Kurt (Wigent) and Paul (Rittenhouse) coincidentally meet at a party months after the end of their picture perfect romance that blew up like a bad bong. Young, mad, impetuous fools in love, Kurt and Paul celebrate their giddy cute-boys-inlove relationship the way giddy cute boys in love do. Paul works in dead-end job in a market with the loyal, if somewhat doltish and friendless Eddie, a (maybe) “straight” guy who secretly moons over the two lovers. Blonde Kurt (Wigent) is on a road to nowhere selling pot when he meets Kevin (Adam Fane) who can’t wait to blaze Kurt’s pants off. Meanwhile, reports of serial killer on the loose in Chicago’s Boystown totally harshes everybody’s mellow. Reminiscent of the best parts of an “ABC
Afterschool Special,” illustrating the lesson of Reefer Madness and with a dash of an unsolved “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” for an added bit of mystery, In Bloom captures the thrill of being in love with someone so bad it hurts and the inevitable very real hurt when it does ends. ★★★✩✩
Lose Your Head 2013 Starring: Europeans Naïve Luis leaves his workaholic lover in Madrid, setting out to explore Berlin. He weasels his way into an super cool club, showing off his def moves to some heavy Trance. Lots of powder and several pills later plus a prescient warning from the sinister dealer, “You’ll lose your head,” he’s is on the road to adventure! Uh oh. Luis ignores “Stranger Danger,” hooking up with Viktor, a scrofulous Ukrainian without any papers but with a penchant for sadistic psycho-sex— and dope. Meanwhile, two Greeks are searching for Dimitri, who mysteriously disappeared in Berlin and looks a lot like Luis. An awful lot like Luis. A roller coaster ride of lust, mystery and paranoia with a little bit of Hostel-style terror. And lots of drugs with foreign Club Kids. The plot twists and turns are riveting and unnerving. Don’t let “Foreign Film” scare you off. Mostly English. Totally worth it. ★★★★✩ Both DVDs available from TLAvideo.com July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 53
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by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com
I
n the infamous words of RuPaul’s Drag Race veteran Tammie Brown “... I don’t see you out there walking children in nature!” Adventurer, author and TV hunky host Bear Grylls is back this summer with a new series on NBC. “Running Wild with Bear Grylls” has a format similar to his previous show, “Man vs. Wild.” where we saw Bear drink his own urine “for survival purposes.” This is NBC, so I doubt it’ll be that extreme, although they did have gross-out fave, “Fear Factor.” Once again, Bear will demonstrate survival techniques in under harsh conditions. The twist? Celebrities are part of the grueling adventure. The line up includes: Ben Stiller, Channing Tatum, Deion Sanders, Tom Arnold, Tamron Hall and most importantly, Zac Efron. In six hour-long episodes you will see these celebrities in a new light, which means there is bound to be some ugly crying. Take away all their Hollywood perks, credit cards, rehab clinics and the paparazzi, we discover that they’re just like you and me. Sure. I’m banking on some shirtless spooning. So take heed Tammie Brown’s words and be part of the great outdoors. With or without a celebrity. At least go conquer Echo Canyon or Dairy Queen. It’s your choice.
Out in the Boonies Now for you shut-ins— myself included, “The Legend of Korra” made its premature debut last month on Nickelodeon. The first episodes have aired and the season is expected to continue after the Fourth of July holiday weekend. Cue the epic music and hear the words “Earth. Fire. Air. Water.” This spin off from the classic animated series “Avatar: The Last Airbender” takes place 70 years after the 100 Year War. The Avatar is the only person who can bend all four elements and possesses a connection to the spirit world. There’s a live action movie with the same name, too, but the fan base as well as the rest of the world ignores its existence. The phrase “train wreck” is an understatement. You don’t need to view the first series to understand what is going on; however I do suggest watching it since throughout the new franchise there are references to it. Yes, this is a cartoon, but the artful animation and bending of the elements are amazing to watch. The storyline is very mature; you will hear jokes like “fart bending” but also an entire chapter devoted to a civil war and a a tyrant waging genocide on benders. Influenced by Japanese animation you can also hear their style of instrumentals with and big orchestral sounds. I suggest once you’re done reading this you go to Nick.com and catch up. July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 55
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A Collection of Local Independent Favorites
Med-Mex Mondays
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$3 smirnoffs; domestic btl $4 premium well, imports, drafts, select wine $5 smirnoff martinis • $5 select appetizers
Tuesdays & Thursdays $20 any bottle of wine + cheese board
Wednesdays 20% off entire bill until 9pm*
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Nick’s
I
A little bit of Italy in our own backyard
taly! It survived 30 years of domination under the corrupt Borgia family, Mussolini, wars, murder and bloodshed. But they’ve also produced the some of the greatest art and music in the world. And food. You know there’s nothing like Italian food. The wide variety and nuances from the various regions offer something for everyone. If you think it’s all watery, overly sweet red sauce, you’ve been ruined by cans of Chef Boyardee and jars of awful Ragú. Nick’s restaurants have been a staple on the Valley restaurant scene for nearly 20 years, developing a loyal and devoted following. So much so, that he has three successful restaurants. Nick made his livelihood as a hair stylist in the Big Apple. Tired of the winters, he emigrated from New York City to Phoenix. Disappointed with Italian fare he found, he borrowed his family’s recipes from his brother and opened his own restaurant. Nick’s is warm, casual, intimate and inviting. And delicious, of course.
We visited Nick’s Paradise Valley location, starting off with his amazing Bruschetta. Fresh bread, baked on the premises every morning, topped with tomatoes, olives, basic, garlic, capers, onions and herbs. Only $5. Other appetizer choices include grilled or fried calamari, mussels in red or white sauce, grilled shrimp and others. Nine fabulous salads are also available as well as Minestrone and Stracciatella soup. You wanna talk pasta? Nick’s pasta is all housemade. All 16 varieties, with everything from Angel Hair to Ziti. Whole wheat and/ or gluten free are both available from $10 for the Marinara to $19 for the succulent Lobster Ravioli. Nick creates his sauces in small batches every day or two for
“I want you walk through my door and enjoy every minute you’re here ‘til you leave,” Nick hopes. July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 59
choice. A generous, pounded breast covered with Nick’s irresistible, bold, thick Marinara sauce, Parmesan and mozzarella cheeses and baked. If you like, you can have it à la Milanese— dredged in flour for a light coating, flash fried and then baked.
freshness and maximum flavor. Eight different chicken dishes grace the menu. Each is served with a side of pasta or steamed vegetables. The Chicken Marsala ($16) is the most popular. The Chicken Parmesan is a traditional, solid
In the mood for “frutti di mare”? Nick’s extensive seafood entrées with eleven choices give you plenty. Our recommendation: you get a little bit of everything with the heavenly Cioppino. Originating in San Francisco, this now “traditional” Italian dish includes tender mussels, chopped clams, calamari and shrimp served over linguini, not necessarily
as the stew you might usually expect. Suggestion: Try Nick’s Cioppino with Garlic White Wine Sauce to experience the most delicate flavors of the seafood, although you can also get it with the spicy arrabbiata sauce or with marina sauce. $21. The calamari pleased us with its perfect tenderness and sweet flavor. Hard, rubbery calamari is always a looming threat for even accomplished chefs. No worries here. Feel daring? Nick offers five different veal dishes. We can’t wait to try his his Ossobuco, a Milanese specialty of braised veal shanks. (Shhh! We won’t tell if you won’t!) Nick also has specialty and create-yourown pizza and calzones.
Nick’s large Chocolate Chip Cannoli. It’s even better if you’re being served by Nick’s young cousin, the handsome and built, built, built Jason. He can make me an offer I can’t refuse anytime. For a great value, try Nick’s Lunch Specials with a wide variety of choices, including Hero sandwiches. This menu is available MondayFriday, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. You’ll never forget the time you spend at Nick’s.
For a real treat, finish the meal with one of
NICK’S
10810 N. Tatum Blvd. at Shea Blvd. ph: 602-953-1110 Mon-Thurs: 11 .m.-2 ● 4-9 p.m. Fri: 11 a.m.-2 ● 4-10 p.m. Sat: 4- 10 p.m. Sun: 4-9 p.m.
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Other locations: 13910 N. Frank Lloyd Wright Blvd. ph: 480-314-9445 Desert Village Shopping Center: 23417 N. Pima Rd. ph: 480-515-0096
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BISBEE PRIDE
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HISTORIC DOWNTOWN BISBEE
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his annual fundraising popular event returns for Season 7, brought to you by SWAY Events. This year’s event features all new contestants, at a killer new venue! See you at the Celebrity Theatre 440 N. 32nd Street, Phoenix, Sunday July 27th at 6 p.m. For tickets and info go to SWAYevents.com
Photos by Fernando Hernandez Text by Deon Brown
Sean Emad & Carlton Thompson Charlie’s cowboy for the line dance team called “Phoenix Heatwave” promises to make the audience’s temperatures climb a little bit higher along with the sexy Sean when they scorch the dance floor together. July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 69
Nate Whitten & Iliana Gonzales That handsome Life Coach Nate is recently engaged—lucky! He’s also the first male contestant ever to represent Cash Inn Country on the dance floor. Nate and Iliana take on the Rhumba, Salsa and Samba—a choreographic triple threat!
Drew Akerson & Drew Mitchell Oregon’s state motto is: “She Flies with her Own Wings.” Watch Oregon native and Kobalt’s “Drewbie Star” fly across the stage with his own wings—and a little help from his dance pro—another Drew!
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Joen Romero Martinez & Elie Contreras The suave, sexy Latin Lover, Joen, comes from San Antonio de los Altos, Miranda, Venezuela. That’s a mouthful! He’s the one with the smoldering good looks at Stacey’s @Melrose. Elie Contreras, a “DWTB” instruction favorite, and Joen will set the floor on fire! July 2014 www.IONAZ.com July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 71 71
Missy Jessup & Shawn Nerdahl Blonde beauty Missy will definitely shake things up on the dance floor. She’s usually stirring the martinis at Bliss Rebar. Will DWTB dance coach Sean score another trophy two years in a row?
Diamond Dallas & Shawn Nerdahl A former Miss Phoenix Gay Pride and Karamba’s pride and joy, the vivacious Diamond sparkles as bright and shiny as ever as she spins and twirls with last year’s winning DWTB pro coach, Sean. ¡Que rica!
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Matt Stanley & John Holzworth Upsy daisy! Looks like the handsome Tucson man Matt Stanley is heels over head! He trips the light fantastic for The Bar on Central with his nimble dance coache, John. And God Bless America!
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Christopher JENSENPalumbo & Freddie Maese Christopher proudly represents Zoan. Freddie is his partner and together their animalistic tango promises to get the audience’s pulse racing with wanton lust and desire.
Daniel Eckstrom & Diona Peltcs Daniel is the pageant promoter for Miss Gay Arizona America. The tables are turned and this time the spunky Tucson native is performing for the prize. The lovely Diona, a “DWTB” veteran takes the reins. 74
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Kenny Caron & Chrissy Coble “Who let the dogs out?” Representing his own bar, Zorfs—the only dog friendly LGBT bar in Phoenix— Kenny gets a little frisky on the dance floor with the kittenish Chrissy. Woof! Woof! Woof, woof!
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The sultry seùorita, Tyra Marie is Miss Gay Arizona America 2013 representing Apollo’s Lounge. She brings a little bit of Latin fire to the floor with the sprightly little sprite and DWTB pro, Cullen Daniel.
Tyra MArie & Cullen Daniel
JULY 2014
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SHERATON HOTEL DOWNTOWN PHOENIX
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Fabulous on 4th ave
Benefiting the programs and services of the
Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation
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Vol. 8, Issue 4
July 2014
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
Ex-Catholic Mafiosi to Pop Pope? OUTRAGEOUS! ROME Members of the world’s most famous and dangerous crime syndicate collectively known as the Mafia were excommunicated from the Holy Roman Catholic Church by Pope Francis I during a Mass in Calabria, Italy, last month. This did not go over will with mob kingpins.
gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” His Holiness woke up with a horse’s head in his bed one Sunday morning as a little “thinking of you” gift from the Mafia, wishing him a “buon giorno,” reported the Pope’s personal camerlengo.
OUTRAGEOUS!
“It came with a lovely note,” he said. “‘È
ANY TO several THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY un IS messaggio Siciliana.ACCIDENTAL Il Papa Francisco DonRESEMBLANCE Vito Corleone met with Mafia family “dons” at Mama Angelina’s Pizza and Funeral Parlor to discuss this turn of shocking pronouncement from the Vatican.
“This-a makes us very, very unhappy. Capiche? We don’t like-a violence. We’re businessmen. This is-a business. Nothing personal,” he said. “We’re
sta dormendo con i pesci.’ That means, ‘This is a Sicilian message. The Pope is gonna be sleeping with the fishies.’”
On another note, the College of Cardinals are in the early planning stages to reconvene in Rome later this summer to elect a new pope.
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2012 www.IONAZ.com 85
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OUTRAGEOUS!
Make Me A Supermodel OUTRAGEOUS! Convict
a reality TV show for STOCKTON, Calif. Meeks called, “Make Me — Move over all Ford, A Supermodel Convict,” Marilyn Agency and where he’ll go on an ultra Elite Models! There’s a low-carb diet and learn hottie in the hoosegow! A all about ACCIDENTAL the industry and cutie in the clink! Sweet TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ANY RESEMBLANCE important model-y things. Cheeks in the Slammer! Lifetime TV is scripting Jeremy Meeks, 30, is an exclusive movie called, the pretty boy in the “Not Without My Really, penitentiary whose sexy Really, Really Ridiculously good looks in his mugshot Good Looking Inmate circulating on Facebook Boyfriend” about a really, has been “liked” nearly really, really, really 100,000 times. Meeks, ridiculously good looking arrested on five felony inmate, also starring Tori weapons charges on June ANY RESEMBLANCE SpellingACCIDENTAL as the girlfriend. 18 is quickly becoming TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY an outlaw “poster boy” Rumor has ACCIDENTAL it that Meeks is for eye-catching criminals TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ANY RESEMBLANCE being tapped by Hugo Boss, across America. Versace, Zegna, Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren “He may even be a Crip,” to be to walk the runways of Mercedes said one anonymous source, “but we call Fashion Week. “The question is how to him ‘Jailbird with a Jawline.’” get those tailored slacks over a ball and chain?” Bravo cable network is developing
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 87
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H
i Loves! This month your Favorite Bitch is helping a special group of people with problems— and a dildo is the only solution for these folks! Some of ‘em need one, some need a new one and others need one in extra large! Dear Miss Tiger, My gay son suggested that I write to you. At my 25-year-old daughter’s bridal shower I was offended when one of her friends bought her a dildo. Why would she and my future sonin-law need a sex toy? I wanted to tell that girl a thing or two, but my daughter would’ve been upset. Help! — Mother Of The Bride Dear To HELL With Your Daughter And Tell Me More About Your Son, Ummm ... perhaps your daughter is a super freak and her friend just thought she’d give her a gift that wouldn’t get returned. If your daughter doesn’t want it, I suggest you take it, because you are one uptight bitch! NEXT!
he asks you to do it while he deep throats his best friend’s cock. NEXT! Dear Miss Tiger, My husband screams during love making. I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it. Any advice for a straight couple? — Marie Dear You Must Have One POWERFUL Pussy and Some PISSED Off Neighbors, Yeah, I don’t think there’s shit you can do about it either. Next time y’all screw, stick a giant sized dong up his ass and give him something to really scream about! NEXT! Dear Miss Tiger, My boyfriend used to fuck for hours. He’s gotten so lazy that we finish in ten minutes. Maybe he just needs his battery recharged? — Justin Dear He Damn Sure Ain’t The Energizer Bunny, With a motha fuckah like that, it looks like the only battery that needs recharged is the one in your vibrating dildo.
Dear Miss Tiger, My boyfriend asked me to wear a strap-on dildo and fuck him. My former boyfriends never asked me to do that! Should I be concerned that he might be gay?
Wanna talk to me LIVE about this kind of bullshit and more? Then join me July 21 on Derek and Romaine • SiriusXM OutQ 109 at 7pm MT! Visit my website for more info about my radio appearances.
— Jeanette
Miss Tiger Advice columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH
Dear What Woman WOULDN’T Want To Stick It To A Son-Of-A-Bitch?, No need to be overly concerned ... unless
Website FavoriteBitch.com Facebook /MissTiger Advice ask@MissTiger.com July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 91
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by Addison DeWitt
J
uly is National Hot Dog Month. So, boys, grab your wiener and slather it with relish and chow down! And there’s nothing I love more than a big, thick, hot, beefy weenie!
Speaking of which ... I don’t mind admitting: I’m kinda crushing on Cliff Gollehan (A). Nobody else looks quite as delectable wearing a pool floatie and a big smile. Cliff spent June traveling the world; Athens to Tel Aviv Gay Pride and then on to the Big Apple—where he danced next to NSYNC’s Lance Bass—at a Pride party. Makes me wanna hot dog real bad!
A
Separated at birth, or just a bad case of bedhead (C)? Really, Aimee is truly lovely and I adore her. (D)
July 29 is National Lasagna Day, mi amici! I’d like to celebrate this holiday with the “molto bellissimo” Alex DiGaudio. (E) As an Italian, I bet Alex knows his way with a noodle. And, yes, when I say “noodle” it’s a euphemism for “penis.” I just want to be very clear. Our Alex is a finalist as a Trophy Boy for underwear queenpin Andrew Christian. So how’s about it, Alex? You, me, and a giant plate of lasagna? What’s a few carbs between lovers? And then you can feed me your cannoli for dessert. And, yes. “Cannoli” is another inference for “penis,” everybody. You’re catching on.
B
c
July 20 is National Lollipop Day! ION’s own Albert Rivas just got engaged to Justin Harmon (B)! That means that Albert is gonna be licking the very same lollipop for the rest of his life. When I say “lollipop” it’s a verbal pretense for “penis.” Who doesn’t just love and all day sucker? July 2 is World UFO Day. I think that means “Unidentified Frightening Object.” We discovered a candid photo of the fabulous Aimee Justice on Reddit.com alongside a snapshot of the demonic doll, Chuckie.
D
July 24 is Amelia Earhart Day. She was a famous lesbian-ish aviatrix who know her way with “flaps”—that’s a euphemism for “vagina.” I just threw that in for our lesbian readers. Using the word “cockpit” certainly didn’t work. Finally, did you know that July 14 is National Nude Day? That gives me some ideas! I don’t have to buy a new outfit for it, either. Invite me to your celebration. At least take pictures for me. July 2014 www.IONAZ.com 95
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Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
Celebrate America’s independence! “We
hold these Truths to be self-evident ...” Can you handle the Truth? The First Quarter Moon on July 5 means it’s time to start building, though post-retrograde Mercury slows projects through July 15. Like early American patriots and Founding Fathers (and Mothers), you will be called upon to take a risk that will define your Liberty. Use wisely. Screw taxes and Sheriff Joe.
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
A “friend” turns into a Benedict Arnold, betraying facts that very few know about you. Not just about how you eat Cheerios in bed, but certain “intimate” details, too. The traitor gets a well-deserved come uppance. You have the last laugh.
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
“One if by land, two if by sea.” The British aren’t coming, but you sure are! You’ve got lovers abounding this month from both sides of the Atlantic and Pacific. Declare your own independence; stay single. You’re better off.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
You’re starting a revolutionary war of your very own. You won’t be crossing the Delaware, but you’ll be crossing a line with a once close ally who won’t sign a treaty after an all-out war. Reconciliation is inevitable. Smoke a peace pipe and bury the hatchet.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
You’re a human sparkler, leaving everybody dazzled. Your birthday will involve lots of fireworks, that’s for sure. In and out of the bedroom. Make ‘em go, “Aah, aah, aah” as you shoot across the sky-y-y!
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
Be alert! There’s a surprise raid in the middle of the night catching you unaware. Your birthday will be a lot more fun than the Boston Tea Party. It’ll probably be more like a Long Island Tea Party. 98
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Your creative skills are put to good use. You’re full of ideas and get all artsy-craftsy with something red, white and blue. You’re a regular Betsy Ross when it comes to making something that will please everybody.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
You’re like Capt. John Paul Jones announcing, “I have not yet begun to fight!” when you’re attacked by a bigger, stronger bully at the workplace or socially. You are victorious when you fight for what’s right.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23
“Give me Liberty or give me death!” You’re such a drama queen. You’re free as a bird and living large. This month, that is. Make sure the heavy artillery and fortifications are in place for next month, however.
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
Just like the old Liberty Bell, you’re a little cracked. Still, you stand for something respectable and noble—even if you have a little flaw. Keep your clapper bright and shiny for the admiring crowd od tourists.
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
You’ll learn the value of fellow Capricorn Benjamin Franklin’s advice: “When in doubt, don’t.” You’re tempted by many offers: job, money, social status, even (gasp!) sex. Practice restraint. It’ll pay off.
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
You’ll put your “John Hancock”—the patriot who also shares this sign—on a very important document. Is it a passport? A mortgage? A check? Others support you, pledging their honor to help. Yankee Doodle, keep it up! You’re certainly a dandy!
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Like the great George Washington, you cannot tell a lie. You won’t be caught chopping down a cherry tree, but you’ll come clean about a certain something you’re held accountable for. You emerge a hero! Sorry, no ticker-tape parade.