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3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012 (602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR ..................... Stacey Jay Cavaliere PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS
ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero, .......................................................... (602) 750-1164
jacktesorero@me.com
Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ......................... (520) 429-5905
ionazsales@me.com
Photographers:
Fernando Hernandez Danny Catt Sean Kapera
Paul Tibbles Scotty Kirby Franklin Diaz
National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:
Stacey Jay Cavaliere Addison DeWitt C. Edwards Ted Kirby
Peter Lora Albert Rivas Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger
Published monthly by
1995-2014: 19 Years of Design and Creative Excellence Š 2014 JMT Designs, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.
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F
Sports, Space, Swimsuits & More!
all is right around the corner! That means it’s time for the Fall sports leagues to start. Softball, kickball, volleyball, swimming, rugby, running, bowling, even darts. There’s something for everyone! It’s a great way to get out of the house, meet people, make new friends and it doesn’t necessarily involve drinking. Well, not always. I’m a big fan of sports! Mostly because I like the uniforms. But who doesn’t? Right? Our talented photographer Scotty Kirby caught some of the jocks in action—on the field and in the pool, that is. Check out our spreads highlighting some of the Fall Sports and athletes on the Valley GLBT sports leagues. It’s been almost fifty years since George Takei starred in the science fiction TV classic, “Star Trek” as Sulu. He’s more popular than ever since he came out. He has a huge Facebook following and a documentary about his life called “To Be Takei” was just released. When he says, “Oh myyy!” it gets me every time. We have an interview with this outspoken, out and proud legend. 12
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Professional hypnotist Dominick DeCarlo is coming to Charlie’s this month where he will hypnotize members of the audience—including birthday gal Pussy LeHoot—and convince them to do lots of crazy things on September 14. You won’t want to miss that. And who knows what Pussy will do when she’s under Dominick’s hypnotic power? (Does anybody ever really know what she’ll do? I sure don’t!) We also have a sexy swimwear photoshoot with Tucson’s hottest male supermodel, Cory Kuehn wearing Manus Men’s Swimwear while vacationing in Mexico. And what’s ION Arizona without pictures a sexy guy in a swimsuit, am I right? And I’m always right. Right? We can’t wait to see you at some of these great events featured in ION this month!
Jack Tesorero, Publisher
Invites you to celebrate the release of Cher’s latest single
I WALK ALONE From her hit album “Closer To The Truth’
Friday September 5 | 9pm-4am | NO COVER “I Walk Alone” remixes available digitally everywhere! Giveaways courtesy of Warner Bros Records See Cher live on her D2K Tour 2014!! Cher.com Wbr.com DJ Jeremy Spinning All Night $20 New Amsterdam VIP Suite 18+ 2am-4am After Hours $5 Cover Starts at 1am
thebaroncentral.com
facebook.com/thebaroncentral 718 N Central Avenue | PHX, AZ | 85004
602.258.6122
NEVER A COVER l EVERYONE WELCOME TALL DRINKS ALWAYS September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 13
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RED LIGHT PARTY
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THE ROCK
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FRIDAY NIGHTS
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BAR 1 • PHOENIX, AZ
SEE ALL THE GREAT PHOTOS AT BAR 1 ON FRIDAY NIGHT AT IONAZ.COM
The Trouble with Takei
George Takei explores new frontiers, boldly going where no man has gone before. by Deon Brown
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ou’d be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t recognize the resonant, well-modulated, pearshaped tones and elocution of actor turned activist George Takei with his signature exclamation, “Oh myyy!” Takei’s family were imprisoned in an internment camp from 1942-45 during World War II. He studied acting, and he gained fame when he was cast as Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu on the now legendary science fiction TV series, Star Trek in 1966. Flash forward: in 1973 Takei ran for City Council of LA . He participated as a runner in the torch relay in the 1984 Olympic in Los Angeles. He was a contestant in NBC reality show, The Apprentice, season 12. His droll assessments make him a top reviewer on Amazon.com. (“Few Americans truly appreciate how Hasselhoff singularly reshaped the entire landscape of German music.”) There’s even an asteroid named in his honor. When Takei came out in 2005, he imagined his career would be finished. He married Brad Altman in 2008. They were first samesex couple in West Hollywood to apply for a marriage license and the first samesex couple to appear on “The Newlywed Game.” (They won $10K, donating it to the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles.) Now 77-years-old, the gentle George boasts nearly 7.5 million followers on Facebook, over one million followers on Twitter, (“Just call me Uncle George,” he encourages his fans.)
“Uncle George” spoke to ION Arizona about his life, the American democratic process and—of course—the future. ION: In 1966 you were sitting on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. What did you think you would be doing 50 years later? George Takei: (Laughs) We were setting ourselves in the 23rd century! I’m living today at a time I never dreamed of 50 years ago when I was pursuing an acting career while active in social justice movements. I was active in the civil rights movement; I marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I was active in the Peace Movement with the Vietnam War going on. I was closeted—with a very visible, public career. There I was, speaking out as an activist on social justice issues while silent about the social justice that was closest to me. We had to be careful about our relationships and that they would not betray that in fit of jealousy, exposing you. Living with that kind of tension while
Nev with co-host Max Joseph
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vocalizing on social justice issues and pursuing a career as an actor was a very isolating kind of world. Here I am today, 50 years later, feeling so liberated and free, with a loving husband and a career that has gained its fourth wind. I feel very, very blessed. ION: What is your greatest personal accomplishment? Besides being a bobblehead? GT: (Laughs) Well, I don’t think that bobblehead would be among those. The opportunity to make contributions to making our government a better democracy and a truer democracy. Is that too high falutin’? (Laughs) ION: Did you ever think that you’d become a great sage for the LGBT community specifically, and for people in general? Everybody loves you! GT: I’m so blessed to have so many people that feel that way. I’m a human being with all the human fallibilities as well. Brad certainly knows that! He keeps reminding me—especially after I’ve been on The Howard Stern Show.
are passionate about serving their communities. I’ve been trying to dialogue with them about the importance of participating in our democracy. If you don’t participate in it, by your absence, by your void, there are those that will exploit it and use it for self-serving purposes and will fill that void. I know that so viscerally from my own personal life experience. As a child we were imprisoned in barbed-wire prison camps—simply because we happened to looked like the people who bombed Pearl Harbor. This country was swept up in the war’s hysteria. There was racism. We were a very small minority that looked very different and who looked more like the enemy. Our democracy is dependent on people who cherish the ideals of our democracy. If they’re disappointed by the corruption in government they’ve got to be responsible and participate in it and correct that. Be informed voters. Know who you’re voting for, and why you’re voting for him or her.
ION: You’ve been active in politics and vocal on a local, regional and national level. What would you say to young voters in Arizona about the importance of voting for Fred Duval for governor in this election?
I’m supporting Fred Duval because I’m gay, you’re gay. He understands the issues that affect us; he wants to share the real ideals of our democracy: equality. All men are created equal. He wants to share the same rights he enjoys with his wife with LGBT people. We need that same sensitivity with our elected officials.
GT: I’m very concerned about the young voters. There are so many young people I see in the social justice movement who are so cynical about electoral politics. They feel it’s so corrupt that they’re not going to participate in it. These are smart, savvy, socially committed people working with nonprofits or community organizations. They
Unfortunately Arizona has a history. I strongly opposed SB1062. Jan Brewer, who is not the most enlightened person, when she was convinced of the economic aspect, vetoed it. Both houses of the Arizona legislature passed that, of the socalled ‘people’s representatives.’ And they don’t represent the people. I know a lot of September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 23
good people in Arizona. They are not represented by the kind of people who voted for 1070. Arizona is a state I love. We have property there and go there to relax and enjoy the beauty of that state. So, number one, participate in our democracy. Two, Vote. Three, cast informed votes and know that you can contribute to making our community and state and country a better democracy. ION: Star Trek identified space as the final frontier. What do you think is the final frontier for humankind? GT: Humankind has that curiosity to venture forth into the unknown. But there’s another frontier we have to start focusing on. When we were primitive people two things set us apart from the animals: one was the killer instinct. It helped us get our food and protect our kind. The other quality was intelligence. Our mind that could invent and create and innovate. Now our killer instinct has become a liability. We can virtually annihilate each other with nuclear weapons. What we need to start focusing on now with our intelligence and inventive minds is diplomacy. How can we solve problems? How to find common ground with 24
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people we don’t agree with? We can’t afford to depend on our killer instinct. We’re killing each other. ION: We have a third instinct: the ability to accessorize. GT: To what? Accessorize? I thought I heard that! (Laughs) You were just being creative! ION: If you were a superhero, what would your super power be? Please think outside the box. GT: You mean I’ve been thinking inside the box? (Laughs) I’d like to have the power to get into other people’s minds. I would find something good, something that we share in that mind and focus on that. ION: Can you say those two words for us? GT: My summation of this conversation is, “Oh myyy!” May you live long, and prosper! And of course, you’re voting for Fred Duval. Tell all of your friends and neighbors! Have a Takei day!
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Cher Party! Calling all Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves! This is worth celebrating, hunties! Get ready for the release of the original Dark Lady,Cher’s latest single, “I Walk Alone” from her album, Closer To The Truth. DJ Jeremy will be spinning all night long, so expect a lot of Cher fabulousness through the ages on Friday, September 5 from 9 p.m.-4 a.m.! There’s no cover on Friday, September 5, 718 N. Central Ave. Phoenix. TheBarOnCentral.com. 602-258-6122 (See ad on 15)
Phoenix Latin Fashion Week Haute couture hits the runway! It’s Latin Fashion Week at the Heard Museum, September 11-13 when Italia Acosta and other Latin designers will show their work at a Red Fashion Reception benefiting for Aunt Rita’s Foundation. Don’t miss the daily fashion shows. For tickets and information go to PhoenixLatinFashionWeek.org. Don’t miss this one!
Hypnotist Dominick DeCarlo It’s not black magic ... it’s the power of the mind! Star hypnotist Dominick DeCarlo performs a fantastical, mesmerizing—and often hilarious—show using the audience as subjects. Even Pussy LeHoot will be in on the action. Sunday, September 14, 8 p.m. at Charlie’s, 727 W. Camelback Rd. You wont want to miss this! (See feature on pp. 32-34)
Imperial Court Underwear Auction I see London! I see France! Wanna see some sexy underpants? They’re up for auction! Join Lady Christian, Olivia Gardens and a team of eight hot models in their skivvies raising money for the Bryon Wiley Memorial Scholarship Fund. There’s also a BBQ, raffles, jello shots, restaurant gift cards for auction and more! Saturday, September 20 from 12 noon‑5 p.m. at Pat O’s Bunkhouse, at 4428 N. 7th Ave. in Phoenix. (See ad p. 6)
Sedona/ Verde Valley Pride It’s the 6th Annual Sedona/ Verde Valley Pride Festival is longer, bigger and you’re gonna love it! Come early for the “Mix & Mingle Soirée” tour the Pride Victory Garden, see the “Guilty Pleasures Fashion Show and more. The festival is in historic downtown Cottonwood, with additional parties in Sedona, too, September 25-28! Visit SedonaPride.org for more info & tickets. (See ad p. 26)
Big Gay Yard Sale! One man’s junk is another man’s treasure! If you’re looking for an Alessi tea kettle or a Jonathan Adler canister set (or maybe even some old Ed Hardy jeans and t-shirts) you just might find them the Big Gay Yard Sale! LGBT charities, social and sports groups, clubs, organizations are getting together to raise money with the biggest, faggiest tag sale ever! The bargain hunting happens on Saturday, October 4 from 8 a.m.4 p.m. at the parking lot of Charlie’s, 727 W. Camelback Rd.
SEPTEMBER 2014 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE
Sundays Fridays 5-7 5-7 5 11-13 12-16 13 14 19-20 20 25-28 25 26
“Play On Sundays Football Theme Parties Roscoe’s Anniversary Weekend NFL Opening Weekend Cher Single Release Party Phoenix Latin Fashion Week Fiestas Patrias Crush Bingo Pussy’s B’day w/ Hypnotist Dominick D. Customer Appreciation Party Imperial Ct. Undies Auction Sedona Pride Katy Perry After Party Bearracuda
Plazma Phoenix Apollo’s Phoenix Roscoe’s Phoenix Roscoe’s Phoenix The Bar on Central Phoenix Heard Museum Phoenix Karamba Phoenix Roscoe’s Phoenic Charlie’s Phoenix Dick’s Cabaret Phoenix Pat O’s Bunkhouse Phoenix Multiple Venues Sedona/Verde Vall Karamba Phoenix The Rock Phoenix
LOCATION
CITY
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Big Gay Yard Sale
Charlie’s
Phoenix
OCTOBER
EVENT
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WEDDING & HONEYMOON EXPO
PRIDE GUIDE
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It’s Mind Over Matter at Charlie’s!
An Evening with
theSpellbinding
Dominick DeCarlo
by Deon Brown
photos by Scotty KirbySeptember 2014 32 www.IONAZ.com
W e’ve all seen the charlatans wearing turbans and swinging pocket watches in front of a dazed subject chanting, “You are getting sleepy .... sleeeepy.” Handsome professional hypnotist Dominick DeCarlo is no humbug from a carnival sideshow. He performs the showstopping phenomenon of hypnosis using one thing: the power of your mind. Well, and a few sly suggestions to your subconscious.
After completing a nine-month mentorship, DeCarlo’s HYPNOVIDEO™ went on to become the number one show in Latin America and the world’s biggest multimedia hypnosis
show. He’s performed over 200 shows, for grand total of 5,000 subjects for either entertainment value or therapeutic reasons. How does he do it, ladies and gentlemen? DeCarlo employs a relaxation exercise called an “induction” he calms the conscious mind and stimulates the subconscious. It’s a highly
suggestible state for some people. And that’s where it gets interesting. “The induction is a monologue with no real artistic variation,” he says. “The audience, however, finds it the most fascinating part of the show because people start out ‘erect’—so to speak—in the conscious state and begin falling and collapsing when transitioning into the hypnotized state.” Presto change-o! In about seven minutes DeCarlo’s willing subjects are, in his power. They’re willing to do just about anything he suggests. Now that opens up a world of opportunity. “I’m able to hypnotize about 70% of the general population,” DeCarlo said. “Usually, the Type A or math and science personalities are the ones that cannot be hypnotized. It’s the creative, laid back and arts-y people or Type B’s that have the greater propensity to be hypnotized.” Audiences come with a variety of different personalities. “As a stereotype, the GLBT community is more creative and Type B than straight people; therefore more open to the power of suggestion and ‘hypnotizable.’ Under the influence of hypnosis, however, the GLBT community is often more outrageous and hysterical than straight audiences. I’m really excited to premier this show to a mostly gay crowd at Charlie’s. Okay. There’s always a doubting Thomas in the crowd. How do we know September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 33
this show isn’t phony? “I deal with skepticism every day. The general public is extremely suspicious about hypnosis,” DeCarlo knows. “Ironically, I was the biggest skeptic at first. After going to five hypnosis shows with the same hypnotist, I noticed that the volunteers were different every night, I wasn’t a skeptic any more. As fate would have it, that very hypnotist became my mentor.” Still think hypnosis is a hoax? DeCarlo challenges you: “I personally invite any skeptic to volunteer his or her friends to get hypnotized, and when they do, they will have complete confidence they do not have an acting contract with me. Or better yet, volunteer yourself!” he encourages. “The biggest reward is when skeptics become believers.” Every show has outrageous moments. “I had a woman thinking she was from the Moon and speaking a language we called ‘Moonese.’ A gentlemen acting as the interpreter between English and Moonese noticed the woman was dressed provocatively. When I asked him what she did for work on the moon, he said that she was a ‘moonstitute.’” Worst moment? “I made a young lady think she hit a $10 million jackpot then 30 seconds later said 34
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the money was gone. She cried throughout the show. Her family was not happy with me. In fact, they called me ‘the devil.’” Has Dominick DeCarlo ever hypnotized someone to get a little “something” on the side? “I don’t need to use hypnosis to get sex! You dirty boy! Maybe I should start. That’s a brilliant idea,” he laughs. Can the amazing Dominick DeCarlo be hypnotized? The master is immune to post-hypnotic suggestion. “I can’t be hypnotized but I’m not anybody!” he claims. DeCarlo aslo practices as a HYPNOHEALER™--helping rid people of their fears, phobias, challenges, addictions and pain. It’s all natural, safe, effective and affordable. Join in the fun, or watch your friends in an evening of hypnotic fun when Dominick DeCarlo is the special guest and puts Pussy LeHoot in a trance at her birthday party. Who knows what will happen? Sunday, September 14 at 8 p.m. Charlie’s — 727 W. Camelback Rd. Phoenix For more information about Dominick DeCarlo, his talent and services, visit DominickDeCarlo.com
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Freaky Fridays at Plazma It’s back! By popular demand! For everybody who loves the wild, wacky hijinx of Celia Putty along with the Brain that Wouldn’t Die, Mommie Dearest, Julia Sugarbaker, Wednesday Addams and all of her other nutty personalities return to the stage with guest performers starting Friday, September 19 at Plazma, 1560 E. Osborn Rd. in Phoenix. You’ll definitely Freak Out!
SEPTEMBER 2014 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE
TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S)
Sun. 14
8:00pm
Mondays
10:00pm Charlie’s
Charlie’s
Pussy LeHoots Birthday Barbra Seville w/ Strippers!
Mondays
10:00pm Apollo’s
Naughty or Nice Bingo
Tuesday
10:00pm Karamba
Savannah Moussier’s Show
Wednesdays 9:30pm
icepics
Ice Queens Weekly Drag Competition
Wednesdays 9:00pm
IBT’s
Viva La DIVA
Wednesdays 9:00pm
Kobalt
Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba
Garden Variety Revue with Olivia Gardens Girls of Karamba - Adriana Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste
Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s
Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos
Thursdays
Showtime at the Bar with Ian and Barbra
9:30pm
The Bar
Thursdays
10:30pm Crescent Ballroom Olivia Gardens hosts Truth, Drag or Dare
Thursdays
10:30pm Karamba
Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds
Fridays
10:30
Special Event Rotating Drag Shows
The Rock
Fridays
7:00pm
OZ
Ruby Reynolds with the Boys of OZ
Fridays
9:00pm
Plazma
Freaky Fridays
IBT’s
Fridays
9:00pm
Fridays
10:00pm Cruisin’ 7th
Fridays
9:00pm
1st Saturday 9:30pm
Absolutely Flawless with China Collins The Barbra Seville Show
BS West
Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers
Kobalt
Taylor Made with TC Taylor & Special Guests
Saturdays
8:00pm
OZ
Saturday Night Showgirlz with Ruby
Saturdays
9:00pm
IBT’s
Starrletts with Janee Star
Saturdays
10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th
The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams
Saturdays
10:00pm The Rock
The Barbra Seville Show
Saturdays
9:30pm
Charlie’s
Pussy’s Patio Show
Saturdays
9:30pm
Zorf’s
BeDazzled
Sundays
8:30pm
Charlie’s
Sundays
10:30pm Karamba
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Album Project: Jagged Little Pill The story of Mary Jane and the impressionistic theatrical jukebox musical journey through the Alanis Morissette’s iconic chart topping album of the 90s. Find out if Mary Jane “is perverted like me and would she go down on you in a theatre?” The Nearly Naked Theatre, that is. September 6-14. 100 E. McDowell Rd. in Phoenix. For info and tix visit NearlyNakedTheatre.org or call 602-254-2151
Queer Queens of Qomedy The very funny Poppy Champlin brings Sandra Valls and Scout Duwood to the Valley with some of the funniest, edgiest, talented and most outrageous gals in queer comedy. Now in its eight year of touring! Catch the funny girls Thursday, September 18 at the Improv in Tempe. 930 E. University Dr. Phone: 480-921-9877 or go to TempeImprov.com for tix and info. Gay guys are certainly welcome, too!
Kinky Boots
Inspired by a true story, this musical is about Charlie, a struggling British shoe factory owner and his unusual partnership with Lola, a drag queen, to save the business by producing footwear for drag queens and kings. Music by Cyndi Lauper and book by Harvey Fierstein. Lesson: we’re not all that different. Except in shoe size. September 16-21 at ASU Gammage, 1200 S. Forest Ave. in Tempe. For tix call: 480-965-3434 or go to ASUgammage.com.
SEPTEMBER 2014 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION Thru 9/10 Meet Vera Stark iTheatre Collaborative 5-10 Godspell Mesa Encore Theatre 5-20 Equivocation SW Shakespeare Co. 6-14 Album Project: Jagged Little Pill Nearly Naked Theatre 11-14 Steve-O Tempe Improv 11-28 Awake and Sing The Rogue Theatre - Tucson 13-10/4 Vanya & Sonia & Masha & Spike AZ Theatre - Tucson 16 Last Comic Standing Fox Theatre - Tucson 16-21 Kinky Boots ASU Gammage 17-10/12 Memphis Phoenix Theatre 17 Last Comic Standing Mesa Arts Ctr. - Mesa 19 Kathleen Madigan Talking Stick Resort - Phoenix 18 Queer Queens of Comedy Tempe Improv 19-10/4 The Brothers Size Stray Cat Theatre 26-28 Damon Wayans Tempe Improv 26-28 Sarah Colonna & Chris Franjola StandUp Live 26-10/12 Radio Golf Black Theatre Troupe OCTOBER 4 Bill Maher Comerica Theatre
PHONE 602-258-9481 480-644-6500 480-644-6500 602-254-2151 480-921-9877 520-551-2053 520-622-2823 520-547-3040 480-965-3434 602-254-2151 480-644-6500 800-745-3000 480-921-9877 480-227-1766 480-921-9877 480-719-3100 602-258-8129 602-258-8129
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Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons A blast from the past! The genuine, real life “Jersey Boys” shows you what it’s all about with hits like “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” “Walk Like A Man,” and “Sherry Baby.” Still rockin’ old school at 80-yearsold, Valli scored 29 Top 40 hits. He brings his boys and his legendary falsetto to Phoenix on Wednesday, September 10 to the Celebrity Theatre, 440 N. 32nd St. For tix and info visit CelebrityTheatre.com. or call 602-267-1600
One Direction Release your inner Tween! There’s a little 12-year-old girl in all of us! Whether it’s Harry, Liam or Zayne, you’ll dance all night to the best song ever when they bop into Phoenix on Tuesday, September 16 (we know. It’s a school night) at the University of Phoenix Stadium, 1 Cardinals Dr. in Glendale. For tickets go to Ticketmaster.com or call 800-745-3000
Katy Perry and Tegan & Sara The blue wig and peppermint pinwheel brassiere maybe gone, but the bubblegum pop princess and “Teen Choice 2014” Award winner will always be a firework—with great skin thanks to ProActiv. Identical twin sisters (and coincidentally openly lesbian) indie pop/rock bring their Birkenstocks to open the show on Thursday, September 25 at the Jobing. com Arena, 9400 W. Maryland Ave. in Glendale. Tickets: 800-745-3000 or visit Jobing.Arena.com and Ticketmaster.com
SEPTEMBER 2014 ION Concert Calendar DATE ARTIST LOCATION 5 Blake Shelton & others Ak-Chin Pavilion, Phoenix 5 Mavis Staples Fox Theatre - Tucson 10 Frankie Vallie & Four Seasons Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix 10 Linkin Park, 30 Seconds to Mars. US Airways Ctr. - Phx 13 The Tubes Talking Stick Resort - Phoenix 16 One Direction Univ. of Phx Stadium - Glendale 17 Luis Miguel Comerica Theatre - Phoenix 25 Drake & Lil Wayne Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix 25 Katy Perry and Tegan & Sara Jobing.com Arena - Glendale 26-28 Summer Ends Music Fest. Tempe Beach Park 26 Crosby, Stills & Nash Mesa Arts Ctr. 27 B.B. King Comerica Theatre - Phoenix 27 Natalie Cole Desert Diamond Casino - Tucson OCTOBER 1 The Eagles Jobing.com Arena - Glendale
PHONE 800-745-3000 520-547-3040 602-267-1600 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 480-829-1300 480-644-6500 800-745-3000 520-297-7777 800-745-3000
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by Peter Lora pintelonegro@gmail.com
Aural Fixation
FKA Twigs
LP1
London based FKA Twigs first got attention last year with songs from her debut EP2 and an erotic video for “Papi Pacify.” There were comparisons to seductive 90s R&B ingenue Aaliyah, the focus being put on production, subtle vocal nuances and harmonies. She began her career as a back up dancer for Kylie Minogue and Jessie J. She addresses her past with “Video Girl” when she signs, “Is she the girl that’s from the video? You lie?” perhaps admitting that her vocal incarnation is her most honest. With LP1, FKA Twigs does what contemporary and 2013 Mercury Prize Winner James Blake did last year; borrow from artists of the 80s and 90s but also using the modern tools of engineering to create moody, sensual and modern R&B. “Two Weeks” the first single is the album’s sexual core, transforming from innocent and simple to confident and complex. Collaborators like Sampha, Devonte Hynes and Lana del Rey with producer Emile Haynie helped create mood dictating songs like “Numbers,” “Hours” and “Give Up.” “Lights On” stands out with its honest and sensual lyrical content, “When I trust you, we can do it with the lights on”. Amidst all of the electronic sounds, a touch of jazz is heard when an upright bass fleshes out, what we can imagine is her male counterpart. Available Now
Ariana Grande
My Everything
It’s hard to ignore Ariana Grande anymore; She can’t be dismissed as another Nickelodeon produced teenie-bopper. With her sophomore album, Grande transitions into
womanhood with high notes, high heels and even higher hemlines. “Problem,” her duet with Australian rapper Iggy Azalea is arguably the song of the summer. Albeit aural candy, diva-meetsrapper pairings are a well known formula. Let’s not forget Mariah Carey and O.D.B., Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty” and the first single off of nearly every Beyoncé album. “Break Your Heart Right,” “Hands on Me” and “Be My Baby seem like kick drum driven limbs to the sound perfected in “Problem.” You’ll hear “Break Free,” “Love Me Harder” and “One Last Time” at the club and your spin class. We haven’t heard a super girlgroup song like “Bang Bang” featuring Jessie J and Nicki Minaj since the Aguilera, P!nk & friends’ take on “Lady Marmalade.” The most tender and adult moment on the album happens with “Best Mistake” featuring Big Sean. A simple beat frames the most sophisticated chord progressions on the album; its sweet and understated— something that escaped Grande’s predecessors. Available Now Nicki Minaj
THE DL SONGS TO DOWNLOAD ARTIST SONG Ariana Grande Best Mistake (ft. Big Sean) Caribou Our Love FKA Twigs Lights On Alex Clare Three Hearts Sinéad O’Connor Take Me to Church Troye Sivan My Little Pill Jenny Lewis Late Bloomer Nicki Minaj Anaconda My Brightest Diamond Lover Killer Alt-J Every Other Freckle June 2014 www.IONAZ.com 45 September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 45
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Art Film or Documentary
Independent films are often treated like the ugly, redheaded stepchild in filmmaking. Sometimes you’ll have a surprise hit, like Donnie Darko, Drugstore Cowboy or the wacky Pink Flamingos. Or maybe you won’t.
I Am Happiness on Earth Starring: Amateur Mexican Actors In the 1970s independent films experimented with weird camera angles, incomprehensible storylines, cryptic dialog and sometimes explicit sex scenes that were declared “erotic.” These movies were called “Art Films.” Sometimes they came from another country, making them chic. In reality, they were boring, soft-core porn, often with subtitles (another strike) that didn’t make any sense, like The Story of O (1975) or Emmanuelle (1974). Director Julian Hernandez’ art-y Yo Soy la Felicidad de Este Mundo covers all of the above, clocking in at just over two dreary hours, it rambles on. And on. It has sex. Masturbation. Cunnilingus. Fellatio. Hustling. And oddly, some truly breathtaking modern interpretive dance. Although it’s beautifully filmed and features attractive (often nude) men, (and one very “bushy” woman), this indie film is baffling on practically every level, reminding me why Americans have a blanket hatred for independent foreign film. Spanish with very few subtitles, plus penis and vagina.
★☆☆☆☆
Available: now from TLAgay.com and Amazon.com. But why?
Getting Go: The Go Doc Project Starring: Tanner Cohen, Matthew Camp Most gay men have yearned and lusted over the go-go boys who shake their moneymakers for us night after gin-soaked night at the bar. Who are they? What are their dreams? Their insecurities? Their wants, needs and desires? Socially awkward New York college student Doc (Cohen) doesn’t fit in. He’s afraid of love, commitment, sex and “poop,” so he masturbates on a web cam. He lusts over over a local “Nightlife Celebrity” (as they apparently call strippers and drag queens in NYC) called, “Go” (Camp, a one-time actual NYC go-go boy) deciding to make a documentary about him, although he’s not even a really filmmaker and has no camera. Go accepts the offer on a lark. Eventually some blurred lines are crossed with the relationship. Are they boyfriends? FWB? What? The redemptions Doc and Go each realize make this picture sexy, entertaining, enjoyable and interesting, too. Lesson learned: go-go boys are people, too. Really, really, hot, sexy people. An excellent, innovative feature film masquerading as an actual documentary, shot with very little script, some Blair Witch-style POV and occasionally employing a the hokey “art film” splitscreen technique. ★★★☆☆ Available: now from WolfeVideo.com September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 47
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This Is Where I Leave You Starring: Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Jane Fonda, Adam Driver “Your father had one final request: he wanted all his kids under one roof, so for the next seven days you’re all grounded,” announces the oversexed celebrity psychologist Hillary Altman (Fonda, Klute). When the combative Altman clan reunites to sit Shiva after their father dies, predictably emotions run high in this combination wacky and touching dramedy. Expect a stellar performances from Bateman (Arrested Development, Identity Theif) and Driver (Girls). Fey (SNL, 30 Rock) better redeem herself for the clinker Admission. Movie Philosophy: “Anything happens all the time.” Opens September 19
Skeleton Twins Starring: Bill Hader, Kristin Wiig, Ty Burrell, Luke Wilson More family angst proving laughter is the best medicine. SNL alum Maggie (Wiig, Bridesmaids) and Milo (Hader, Adventureland) are twins. Estranged for a decade, they coincidentally cheat death on the same day, forcing a reunion giving a thorough, introspective—and often funny/touching—examination about how to fixed up their totally effed up lives. She attempts to patch up her marriage with Lance (Wilson, The Royal Tennenbaums).
Family & Fright Flix Rich (the fantastic Burrell, Modern Family) costars as Milo’s ex-lover. Tragicomedy at its finest. Best line: “I can’t wait to be the creepy, gay uncle.” Opens September 12
Tusk Starring: Jason Long, Haley Joel Osment, Michael Parks, Genesis Rodriguez, Johnny Depp Kevin Smith (Clerks, Mallrats) wrote and directed this fright flick about porn-mustachioed podcaster Wallace Bryton (Long, Mac computer guy, Dodgeball, we all thought he’d marry Drew Barrymore) travels to not-so-friendly Manitoba to interview curmudgeonly old salt Howard Howe (Parks, Argo, Kill Bill vol. 1 & 2) who has a thing for walruses in the Quentin Tarantino-esque guts ‘n’ gore opus. Bryton’s bestie Teddy (Osment, The Sixth Sense kid who saw dead people. Now he’s over his Lindsay Lohan “I’m a former child star” drinking/drugging phase) attempts to find him with some help from LaPointe (an almost unrecognizable Depp, Ed Wood), an eccentric French Canadian detective, so expect lots of heavily accented dialogue. Shockingly, Depp appears in a film not directed by Tim Burton. Best Line: “I don’t wanna die in Canada!” Early reviews claim there’s some laughs. I wouldn’t count on many other than the one above. Opens September 18 September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 49
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by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com
“A to Z” on NBC will make its grand debut on October 2. A simple love story from their time together to their break up. Katey Sagal (forever immortalized as the White Trash, bon-bon eating Peg Bundy on “Married ... with Children”) will serve as narrator. Now I know this all seems a little familiar but it seems like a big middle finger to “How I Met Your Mother,” especially with Cristin Milioti—who starred as the ultimate TV reveal as the eponymous “Mother” of the series—as the female lead actor. Everyone loved her although barely getting a season of screen time now we get to see her act more fully. Ben Feldman (fresh from his endearing, if somewhat neurotic and psychotic advertising wonk Michael Ginsberg on AMC’s “Mad Men”) plays her other half. Now Zelda and Andrew will date for 8 months 3 weeks 5 days and 1 hour, yes, they are spoiling the series but it’s a ballsy move to surely pay off. “Z Nation” on the Syfy network is their valiant attempt to compete with “The Walking Dead.” Three years have passed during the zombie outbreak and a group has to transport the only known survivor of the plague from New York to California,
Three Cases of Déjà Vu where the last functioning viral lab depending on his blood’s antibodies is located. In a 13 episode road trip that’s over 3,000 miles, this series seems doomed and predictable as well as pointless. But it is, after all, about zombies. And remember, this is the same cable network that created Sharknado. “Z Nation” premiers September 12. “Gotham” on FOX tells the origins about the big brass from “Batman,” Commissioner Jim Gordon (Ben McKenzie star of the emotional, teenage angst-riddled primetime soap “The O.C.” from 2005-2007) from the DC Comics. You may have noticed how much of a juggernaut Marvel films are, and now DC wants to expand more of their superheroes with their pals from their vaults. This could be a great vehicle. Airing September 22 this is can be the groundwork for something big. But the producers and creative teams are most likely gonna throw stuff at us while ignoring the entire “Dark Knight” and “Superman” film series. Look for budding, young villains like the Penguin, Riddler, Catwoman and more to make an appearance. The issue I’m having with these new TV shows is that nothing is particularly fresh or new. They seem to be rehashed concepts of previously aired shows and these are the “straight-to-dvd” type of option. My advice? Get your shit together writers and creators. September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 51
Check out these great realtors, mortgage brokers, insurance agents, apartments, condos and houses. With ION Home, we make it easy to find, finance and insure your new home.
Vincent Griffith 1972-2014 “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.” Vincent’s fun-loving spirit will always be part of this world. Vincent was kind, helpful and supportive of his family, friends and anyone in need. Energetic, he bowled on several leagues within Phoenix Unified Gay Bowling Alliance. He will be missed by many, including his loving mother, Quang, and sisters Lisa, Leanna and many friends.
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Sage Kitchen I
n a world filled with monosodium glutamate, sulfites, hydroxybenzoate and Monsanto agrochemically modified stuff we’ve come to know as “food,” it’s getting harder and harder to recognize the real deal and what we really should be eating. But there’s hope. And a healthy—tasty— option. You don’t have to be a member of Greenpeace or the Sierra Club—or even vegetarian for that matter—to sample and really enjoy the offerings at Sage Kitchen, part of the venerable Chakra 4 shop, a valuable resource for medicinal herbs, spices, essential oils and over 120 different, remarkable teas from around the world and more for the past 13 years. Herbalist Kita Centella and personal trainer Nick Brown are friendly, informative the owners. The beautiful Erin Limmer is the manager, who’s partner, Teresa Hanson, or “Chef T” is the creative, imaginative chef behind the menu. Everything is organic (except pizza crust).
Kale, Hale & Hardy
Tired of the same, ol’ tofu, tofu, tofu everywhere that’s vegetarian? Sage Kitchen successfully works around the boring, typical tofu analog. And quite successfully, too. Start with the Kale Crisps. We love the flavor-packed dried leaves of kale, topped with a tasty vegan cashew “cheddar” schmear for $9. It comes with salsa, but we prefer it without for the full effect of the kale. Tired of the same old runof-the-mill salads? Our fave is the Watermelon Ahi “Tuna.” The marinated, sesame-crusted and grilled strips of watermelon surprisingly mimic tuna in texture, and richness; it’s even better. The strips top a bowl of a bed of field greens, cashews, avocado, red pepper, grape tomatoes with a sesame-ginger
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marinara sauce for $14. Vegan option is available with this pie and the crust is gluten-free. Four other pizzas are also available.
dressing. This is a clear favorite for us. And it’s dolphin safe! $16. The “Sausage” & Mushroom Pizza won rave reviews with its house-made white bean “susage,” organic mozzarella, garlic, mushrooms and hand-crushed tomato
Looking for something a bit more traditional? Their lentil and nut based Meatloaf impostor is thick, topped with a rich tomato marmalade. Tender and flavorful, yes. Still, it didn’t quite fool the carnivores at our table as the Real McCoy. It comes with a marvelous mashed cauliflower/potato side, seasonal veggies and Sage Greens Salad for $18. Other entrées like the spicy Spinach Mushroom Enchilada and Artisan Ravioli are definitely worth checking out. Every dietary concern can be met. Just ask!
Soups (changing daily) like cool, chilled Cantaloupe Mint and Blueberry Cardamon might surprise you. Additionally, this month look forward to an event of vegetarian/ vegan treats with wine pairings, courtesy of their neighbors at Whole Foods and periodic special events, like making vegan cheese. There is a higher cost associated when you dine organically with wholesome, fresh food, it’s true. (Admittedly, our wallet felt it.) But fresh food is so much better than poison, isn’t it? SAGE KITCHEN 4773 N. 20th St., Phoenix 602-283-1210 Mon-Sat: 11 a.m.-8 p.m Sun. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. SageKitchenPhx.com
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G
et your sport on! Whether it’s volleyball, rugby, kickball, swimming or another sport or activity there’s a league and a team for you! Build friendships, and good sportsmanship while competing. Fall Sports are ready to start and now is the perfect time for you to join in the fun and games. Check out everything there is to offer and find out how you can participate with our Sports Guide.
THE PHOENIX SUNFISH MASTERS SWIM TEAM Let’s get soakin’ wet! The Phoenix Sunfish is a proud member of the International Gay and Lesbian Aquatics. They welcome men and women of any age to join, practice, compete and make new friends. Practices are at the ASU SRC in Tempe and the Christown YMCA. PhoenixSunfish.org
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Isaac Jones of the Phoenix Sunfish
CACTUS CITIES SOFTBALL LEAGUE Let’s play ball! Sundays are a smash with the Cactus Cities! Join our cover boy Max Alvarez and Right Fielder Eric Rodriguez (pictured above) out on the diamond! Each spring, don’t miss the Saguaro Cup, a National Tournament hosted by the league. Visit CactusCities.com for more info. September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 61
PHOENIX STORM RUGBY FOOTBALL CLUB This sport probably has some of the most fun terminology in the world of sports. “Scrum” “Hooker” “Rucking” and “Loose Head” are all actual things. Ask one of our local Ruggers, like our featured player Shawn “Dirty” Patrick! The Phoenix Storm have seasonal boot camps for new players. Check it out at PhoenixStorm.org
AZ GAY VOLLEYBALL AND DESERT VOLLEYBALL ALLIANCE Choose your battlefield! With two great V-Ball Leagues in the city, players can pick whether they want to play indoor on a court, or outside on the sand. Both leagues offer multiple levels of play. Visit AZGV.org or DesertVolleyball.com. AZGV Open play dates are coming up! It’s the best time for new players to get to know the league, and maybe even our featured player, Justin Bahr! Feeling competitive? AZGV’s Quicksand Tournament is on Saturday September 20th!
Then, this October— keep an eye out for Desert Volleyball Alliance’s Spike for Your Life event at Charlie’s Phoenix, an entirely new experience that combines the fun of volleyball with the big personalities of some of your favorite drag queens! September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 63
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
KICKBALL LEAGUE Kick it! Indulge your inner child every Sunday morning at Steele Park starting this October! Team Captain Ken Elder shows us how it’s done! Visit FWBKickball.com
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Phoenix Unified Gay Bowling Association With several Phoenix Unified Gay Bowling Alliance leagues in Phoenix, Scottsdale and Chandler you’re bound to find a place to meet new people had make friends, knock down a few pins and have fun! Just stay out of the gutter, please? Check out PUGBA.org of start dates and locations near you!
PHOENIX GAY FLAG FOOTBALL LEAGUE No wussy two-hand-touch here! Rip that flag! Established in 2008 as The Hellraisers- the PGFFL host a league from November through March. Everybody’s welcome to play! Register year round at phoenixflagfootball.com
GAY AND LESBIAN ASSOCIATION OF DARTS Gay & Lesbian Association of Darts (GLAD) has raised and given back over $750,000 to the community over the past 25 years. Be part of the spirit of fellowship, sportsmanship and fun! Join one of their friendly teams now! Check out GLADPhxAZ.org
THE GAY POLO LEAGUE The Gay Polo League will make history when it makes its debut in the fourth annual Bentley Scottsdale Polo Championships: Horses & Horsepower. The October 25-26 event is America’s most attended polo event expected to attract 15,000 polo fans to the Omni Scottsdale Polo Field at WestWorld of Scottsdale, Arizona. The two-day event includes four matches with teams from all different spectrums. A preview party will be held on Monday, Sept. 8 from 6-8 p.m. at Stacy’s @ Melrose, 4343 N. 7th Ave. in Phoenix. For more information go to GayPolo.com
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with Cory Kuehn Photographed by Phillip Manus • Directed by Jason Sierra
Arizona’s private beach getaway, Rocky Point, is just a hop, skip, and a jump away. Warm water, great seafood, beautiful resorts and a hoppin’ nightlife scene make it a perfect escape for Arizonans! Whether you’re just into lounging on the beach, or something more exciting like renting jet skis is your thing, visiting Rocky Point is always a fun adventure. Swimwear designer and photographer Phillip Manus and director Jason Sierra took model Cory Keuhn down to the beach with their new summer line for men-- check out their website go swimwear shopping before you book your Rocky Point vacation!
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(Pictured Top to Bottom) Fuschia Swim Brief Airplane Safety Swim Brief Macaw Reflection Swim Brief swimmanus.com September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 71
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Leopard Face Swim Brief swimmanus.com September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 73
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SHERATON HOTEL DOWNTOWN PHOENIX
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ibts drag race
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BISBEE PIRATE’S WEEKEND
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HISTORIC DOWNTOWN BISBEE
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Vol. 8, Issue 6
September 2014
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
TV’s “Cow Week” and “Cownado” Fail to Frighten
OUTRAGEOUS!
Herefords, Angus, Charolais, Guernsey. They’re damn mad. The feature film concept deals with a mind-blowing cyclone gathering up force along with hundreds of cattle ranches and stockyards throughout Texas with thousands of mean cows, making a shiver of sharks look like harmless guppies. TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
HOLLYWOOD ‑ Scientific research and investigation reveals that there is less than one shark death every two years in here in the United States. Cows, however, are 40 times more likely to kill you than a shark.
OUTRAGEOUS!
With RESEMBLANCE the runaway success of the ANY TOannual THE
Discovery Channel’s chart topping “Shark Week” and the SyFy Channel’s feature length hits, “Sharknado” the cable TV Sundance Channel attempted to capitalize on this with “Cow Week,” and a horrifying, feature length made for TV movie called, “Cownado” starring Tori Spelling, Ann Jillian and Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
Unfortunately, Cow Week and “Cownado” failed to terrorize test audiences. Despite a storm of thousands of savagely murderous cattle, by comparison, SyFy’s tornado of sharks only killed 16 people.
OUTRAGEOUS!
The documentaries and films deal with vicious cows attacking farmers, ranchers, butchers and anybody else who gets in their way.
Champagne corks kill almost 24 people each year. The Food Network is developing a possible “Cork Week” and “Corknado.”
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2012 www.IONAZ.com 85
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OUTRAGEOUS!
She’s Fierce! She’s Shady! She’s OUTRAGEOUS! Sickening OUTRAGEOUS! ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
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Dear Miss Tiger, Everybody loves a bad boy ... and I would never try to deprive anyone of that pleasure. Hell, I’m still holding out for Boomer Banks (that’s a whole other column). But when you find that new rebel without a cause, make sure the motha fuckah doesn’t have any frequent flyer miles at the state penitentiary. Okaaay? This Favorite Bitch is all about bad boys gone wrong, hunty! Dear Miss Tiger, My boyfriend is constantly in and out of jail. It’s definitely taken a toll on our relationship. Why can’t he just stay out of jail? — Ryan Dear It’s Also Taken A Toll On His Sphincter, I have one other thing to say ... NEXT! Dear Miss Tiger, My boyfriend is in jail. He says he’s got sexual cravings that have to be satisfied. He also says he ain’t gay but he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. I need some help! — Chanel Dear Your Name Might Be Haute Couture But Your Life Is So Last Season, At least the bastard told the truth for once in his goddamn life. Had he been more honest about other shit, maybe his ass wouldn’t be gettin’ fucked in the jailhouse shower right about now. Don’t worry yourself with what goes on in jail. Be worried if the bastard is still craving dick once he get’s out of jail. NEXT!
I need my sex rough and really dirty. I’ve been looking for an ex-con to do the deed. I haven’t found one. And advice? — White Boy in Manhattan Dear Lookin’ For Love In All The Wrong Places, Take that ass to any train stop in The Bronx. Not only will you get your wish, but you’ll be granted 20 more from 20 other excons who’ll be more than happy to screw the shit out of ya. Unfortunately ... it’ll be simultaneously. NEXT! Dear Miss Tiger, I make seven figures a year. I have a confession: I get off on stealing. It’s fun and the rush is amazing! Is this wrong? — Tim Dear “And Companies Blame Poor Folks For This Shit,” Once you and your sticky fingers finally gets busted ... the only seven figures you’ll have on your mind is an attorney’s phone number. And the next rush you’ll feel ... well, that’ll be your cellmate rammin’ his big-ass dick in your non-lubricated boypussy! NEXT! Wanna talk to me LIVE about this kind of bullshit and more? Then join me September 15th on Derek and Romaine • SiriusXM OutQ 106 at 7pm MT! Visit my website for more info about my radio appearances. Miss Tiger - Advice Columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website FavoriteBitch.com Facebook/Twitter MissTiger Advice ask@misstiger.com September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 91
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by Sean Kapera @ Synergistic Studios
Rodrigo Meza Audelo Phoenix, AZ Model
FOLLOW on instagram @SynergisticStudios September 2014 www.IONAZ.com 93
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by Addison DeWitt
A
s the long, lazy, sunny, vodka-soaked days and nights of summer draw to a close, we also say “farewell” to an American tradition until next year. No, I’m not talking abut barbecues. I’m not talking about ice bucket challenge videos, or highlighting your hair. I’m talking about the ubiquitous Instagram “Foot Selfies,” or “Footsies” as I like to call it. I’ve compiled a few of the best “Footsies” of a few of the cutest guys here in the Valley for your. If you have a foot fetish or if you’re a “shrimper” (translation: someone who likes to suck on toes) you’ll be in heaven. You’re welcome. Exhibit A: Here’s that handsome sunbeam of hospitality Travis Shumake soaking up some Vitamin D poolside at the glamorous Arizona Biltmore Resort. Kim Kardashian is in the chaise lounge D just to the left, but who really cares about her, right?
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Exhibit B: “Ships Ahoy, matey!” The Illustrated Man, my dreamy, darling Dustin Marshall takes quick snap between naps of his sweet little sunsoaked tootsies. We see the anchor on your thigh, will you show us where the battleship is, please? Exhibit C: “Funicl!ì, funiclà” Chef Gabriele Bertaccini takes his little Florentine piggies to the Pacific when he isn’t taking them to market. I could just smother them in marinara and then cry, “Wee, wee, wee!” all the way home! Basta!
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Exhibit D: Here’s a “twofer!” That adorable Jimmie Galvin, a bartender at Bar 1, relaxes with his beloved Black Lab, Bristol, while watching an informercial for Dr. Scholl’s on TVf. Honey, these dogs really are barkin’! Until the next Flip-Flop Summer on Instagram, it’s “Toot, toot, Tootsies, Goodbye!” you might say.
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Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
T
he change of seasons and the Autumnal Equinox in our hemisphere on September 22 reflects a history of global upheaval: it’s Revolution Day in Mozambique, Independence Day in El Salvador, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Uzbekistan, Brazil and Mexico. It’s National Day for Catalonia and Vietnam. Why? Because we have issues—all across the world. A bad Mars and Jupiter emanate negative energy.
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
An early Full Moon on the 9th illuminates your strategy on a map for the rest of the month as you march bravely forward. Your right flanks and left flanks both look good. Your real strength is when you bring up the rear. That looks really good.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
Mercury is at its best in the night sky on the 21st. If it’s your birthday, review the troops, fly the colors and fire a 21-gun salute in your honor. Do some old fashioned saber-rattling to keep everyone on their toes.
Pat Benatar was right: Love is a battlefield. You’ll discover that a big flirt makes you a prisoner of war early in the month by a warrior with a big bazooka. Sure, you could escape, but why?
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
Free your mind! The rest will follow. Because if you don’t believe you me, there are plenty of others out there who will. This is called an “army.” Plot your maneuvers. Your army will back you up.
An army marches on its stomach. Speaking of stomachs, it might be time to watch those rations. You’ve probably noticed that “Orion’s Belt” is getting a little tight lately. No “Harvest Moon” for you.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
All we are saying, is give peace a chance. You’ve been at war with someone. Lay down the olive branch. Fly the white flag. Call a truce. Make love. Not war. That’s what you’re best at anyway.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
You have a piece of “intelligence” about an frenemy that allows you to crush them. Wait ‘til Mercury goes into retrograde on October 4 before you make a final decision.
Mars and the bright star Antares compete with each other on the 27th. You’ll lock horns with an opponent who threatens to outshine you. Think about using your Secret Weapon. HINT: it’s your ___________. Think about it.
That which was hidden will be made abundantly clear to you when the New Moon occurs on the 24th and faint galaxies and star clusters are easier to see. This is a good time to rally the troops and drum up support.
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
The Top Brass gives you marching orders to the front. Be Brave! Onward! You’ll need heavy artillery, but you’ll emerge victorious late in the month. A few scars give you something to brag about. 98
www.IONAZ.com September 2014
When the Moon eclipses Saturn on the 28th you discover that although you won the battle, you lost the war. Don’t surrender your sword to the victor just yet. Kick ‘em in the shins first. Then run. You’re fighting the good fight. With overwhelming public approval, you continue to soldier on. This bolsters your confidence and sense of “might makes right.” But are you right? Are you?