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TEST TOGETHER DAY
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STACY’S@MELROSE
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM Photos by Franklin Diaz
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LATIN NIGHT
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM Photos by Danny Catt
H20 - TUCSON
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SEXIEST BARTENDER CONTEST
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HOTEL 502
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Photos by Franklin Diaz
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MILLER LITE SPLASH BASH
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HOTEL 502
Photos by Franklin Diaz
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM
830 N. 1st Ave., Unit 203 Phoenix, AZ 85003 (602) 308-4662 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com PUBLISHER / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero ............................................ jacktesorero@me.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ..................................................... kbushaw@me.com EDITOR Deon Brown ................................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR .......................................................... Austin Head GRAPHIC DESIGNER ......................................... Angel Jimenez PRODUCTION & ARTWORK SUBMISSIONS
ionazproduction@me.com
ADVERTISING SALES Jack Tesorero ............................................................ (602) 750-1164
jacktesorero@me.com
PHOTOGRAPHERS:
Franklin Diaz Alex Campos Fernando Hernandez
Scotty Kirby Tiffany Photography Danny Catt
NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS:
Addison DeWitt C. Edwards Ted Kirby
Buddy Early Peter Lora Paul Sanchez Miss Tiger
Published monthly by
1995-2017: 22 Years of Design and Creative Excellence © 2017 JMT Designs, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.
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MISS GAY ARIZONA AMERICA
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TEMPE CENTER FOR THE ARTS
Photos by Tiffany Photography
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RALLY FOR EQUALITY
HERITAGE SQUARE
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Dancing with ION and one•n•ten
t’s hard for me to believe that 16 years ago this month, on July 1, 2001, the Phoenix LGBTQ public was introduced to a new publication called Eye on Arizona. But that title made for a terrible mast head so it was shortened to IONAZ, then later it transformed into ION Arizona. It was 48-pages, black and white, light on content but loaded with heart. (And pictures of hot guys in swimsuits, too. I’ll admit it.)
intimidating world we live in grow into strong, sensible, contributing members of society. one•n•ten has grown, including adding high school education facilities. They also maintain satellite locations in the west valley, Queen Creek, Mesa, Scottsdale, and Tempe.
Dancing for one•n•ten
About a decade ago, Dancing with the Bars was a Phoenix spin on the popular television show, Dancing with the Stars. Gary Guerin, founder Since then we’ve added a ton of great and owner of SWAY Events, started the features and now we’re up to 100 pages fundraiser by pairing up bartenders and or more. We started with 60 distribution community members with professional locations and now we have hundreds ballroom dance instructors for an exciting across the state, plus we’re worldwide night of dance competition. Gary passed with our online version. We feature the baton for this contest to one•n•ten. some of the most talented artists, It transformed and evolved, and now it’s photographers and writers, plus the best Dancing for one•n•ten. printing available. I couldn’t be prouder of our team and how far we’ve come. ION Arizona is excited to promote this nail-biting competition. Find out who’s competing this year when we introduce you to the dancers on page 67. About that same time, a small, nonprofit was created that would change Now that ION Arizona is old enough to the Phoenix LGBTQ community. It’s drive, we promise to continue to help a widely held belief that one in every organizations like one•n•ten drive into the ten people identifies as lesbian, gay, future. Will you come along for the ride? bisexual, transgendered or questioning, hence, “one•n•ten.” Started by Toby Urvatur. The budding organization’s primary goal then was as it is today: to help welcome and assist today’s Jack Tesorero LGBTQ youth who enter this crazy, Dancing Queen
one•n•ten
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BAR OLYMPICS
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THE CASH
SEE MORE GREAT PICTURES AT IONAZ.COM Photos by Franklin Diaz
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Everybody Loves a Winner Scott
from the
Amazing Race
by Buddy Early photos courtesy CBS 30
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he 29th season of The Amazing Race featured 22 contestants pairing up with total strangers forming 11 teams competing for the million dollar prize. Scott Flanary, 34, teamed up with Brooke Camhi, 36, forming a controversial duo according to many of the show’s fans. The final challenge in Chicago cinched the game in their favor, airing on CBS on June 1.
SA: I went into the first challenge with a few who I thought would make great partners: Brooke, Redmond, Jessie, and Matt. I was trying to pick someone who I would get along with and who would let me play the social, strategic game I came to play. I knew this was the season for me because I could rely completely on myself, and I knew there would be 21 other driven contestants who wanted to “play the game.”
ION Arizona caught up with the amazing Scott to find out more about his amazing experience and winning The
ION: You and Brooke were the “difficult team.” You seemed to have trouble getting along. What was real and what was editing, or for the camera? In the first episode, she said you’d be “Team Will & Grace. ” By your expression, you didn’t seem to agree with this.
Amazing Race last month. It’s, well, pretty amazing! ION: What was your first impression of your partner, Brooke Camhi? Scott Flanary: I thought she was smart, driven, confident, artsy, and a fan of the show; I was right! She has a strong memory, she loves and understands The Amazing Race, and she killed all artsrelated challenges. ION: Was there any of the other competitors you would have liked to have paired up with?
SA: We both wanted to be “Team Will & Grace.” I laughed! I believe because it’s an NBC show that CBS didn’t want to give out free promotion. Brooke and I largely got along. I understand our “story arc” was one of a potentially mismatched team who eventually works well together, so the editorial choices made sense. What the audience didn’t see was all the singing and joking around we did during downtime. Brooke and I fought like brother and sister, but we were never malicious or hateful. ION: Were you happy with the the show’s final editing for broadcast? SA: The Amazing Race showed me exactly the way I am. Production did a great job showing everyone largely for who they were. Granted, there are some people who weren’t always shown in a positive light, but that stuff happened and it pushed the story July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 31
forward. Can you imagine how boring the show would be if we had all positive people who always got along? Readers should note that all 22 of us are good, genuine people. ION: In Seoul, Korea you had to visit the Gangnam District and watch a K-Pop performance. Would you say it was better or worse than, say, a Katy Perry music video? SA: I love Katy Perry so you’re giving me a prisoner’s dilemma! I’ve never seen K-Pop live before, so it was a really cool treat. They have better dance moves than me! ION: In Zanzibar, Brooke had to make a ladle and needed some serious help from competitors. Strategically helping other teams throughout the rest of the race was a big part of your game. SA: When Brooke was making the ladle, I was chatting with non-active players, cashing in on our social game, asking them to help Brooke. I had a few favors already built up, and I knew we’d go into debt with a few teams. The audience doesn’t see all of these things so it makes sense for this to appear onesided. We already had a social game in play and we continued to play that game—building relationships, breaking alliances—in order to move us forward. That was my strategy from the beginning and I stuck to it. ION: Did you really think you had a chance? Throughout most of the legs you finished middle- to back-of-the-pack. Certainly no viewers expected you to win it all. SA: I always knew we had a chance to win. I challenge your “certainly no viewers expected” comment. Smart players and viewers know that the Race 32
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is not just physical. It’s simply this: don’t get eliminated and win the final leg. That’s it. It would be nice to win every single leg, but I reframed my approach once we started and made sure to stay in and worry only about winning the last leg. Success! ION: You visited Panama, Brazil, Norway, Italy, Greece, Vietnam. What was your favorite location and toughest challenge? SA: I loved Norway and Italy both because of their beautiful locale and super nice people. Obviously the toughest challenge for me was the bungee jump in Greece. I realize it’s not physically challenging, but for me the challenge was getting over my number one fear [heights] and mentally prepping myself to jump. ION: What now? What are you going to do with all that money? SA: I’m back to my day-to-day life of
managing recruitment for an accounting firm. I was promoted since the show aired and will relocate to Seattle in August. I get to hang with Seth (from “Team America”) more often. After paying taxes and student loans, I’m buying my parents an all-expense paid vacation, and I’m investing the rest until it’s time for a down payment on my first house. I’m also ready to play Survivor whenever CBS asks. #ScottOnSurvivor
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Out & about with pride! Grow the movement and join today at 850zip.com
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Summer Snow Cones at Bar1
You won’t find these at 7-11. Keep cool with shaved ice mixed with vanilla vodka and strawberry purée, peach nectar and bourbon, or a margarita. Served in a martini glass. Only $7. A boozy brain freeze never tasted so good! Bar1, 3702 N. 16th St. in Phoenix.
Free Sunday BBQ at Flex Spa
Mmmmmm! Makes we want a hot dog real bad! Spend the day relaxing poolside, socialize and let the Flex Spa gang throw some choice meat on the grill and get ready to chow down! That is, if you haven’t had enough meat already. We see you lickin’ your lips! Flex Spas Phoenix, 1517 S. Black Canyon Hwy. 602-271-9011. FlexSpas.com (See ad on p. 96)
Sasha Velour at Club VOLT Catch the new winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race! Queen Sasha Velour makes Club VOLT one of her first stops of her Victory Tour! VIP Champagne Meet ‘n’ Greet, front of the line available. Thursday, July 6. Club VOLT, 3108 E. McDowell Rd. ClubVOLT.com (See ads on p. 19-21)
XXXmas in July at Dick’s Cabaret
Have you been good? Let’s hope you’ve been bad! Come sit on Santa’s lap and talk about the first thing that pops up! It’s XXXmas in July at Dick’s Cabaret! Who knew St. Nick was effing so sexy under that suit? $2 regular lap dances for everyone! July 14 & 15. 3432 E. Illini in Phx. (See ad on p. 90) 36
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Drag Wars 9 at BS West
Join in one of the most popular, most terrifying, annual competitions! “Drag Whores: The Feud Awakens” brings out the best in high-heeled rivals! Sign up today! Sunday, July 16 at BS West, 7125 E. 5th Ave. in Scottsdale. (See ad on p. 22)
Drag Make-Up Tutorial at The Cash
Learn how to beat your mug like a professional. It takes more than a little lipstick and a powder puff, girl. This two-hour class will have you going from fugly to faboo! $15 includes the crash course in beauty, one drink ticket and a glamour shot. Sunday, July 16 at 3 p.m. at The Cash, 2140 E. McDowell Rd. in Phoenix. 602-244-9943. (See ad on p. 27)
JULY 2017 ION EVENTS DATE EVENT First Fridays Sundays Free BBQ 3 Underwear Night 4 BBQ 6 Sasha Velour 7 Electric Party Series: Party in the USA 8 Men of Leather Night 9 Imperial Ct. Revue & Luau 9 Full Moon Glow Party 13 Ruby’s Male Revue 14-15 XXXmas in July 15 Too Hot! Hot Damn! Summer Party 15 BEAR-lesque 15 Hell Freezes Over 16 Grindr Party with Adriana 16 Drag Make-up Tutorial 16 Drag Wars 9 20 Summer Splash Party w/ Valentina 21 Electric Party Series: Christmas in July 22 Summer Luau 23 Fundraiser for Joshua Tree & Equest AUGUST 5 Bears of the West Beer Bust 9 War on the Catwalk 10 War on the Catwalk 10 Naomi Smalls 13 Adriana’s Heel Party 18 Bearracuda
LOCATION Olivia’s Garden Party The Flex The Anvil Bunkhouse Club Volt Club Volt The Anvil Cruisin’ 7th Bunkhouse Karamba Dick’s Cabaret The Cash Bunkhouse Charlie’s Karamaba The Cash BS West Charlie’s Club Volt Dick’s Cabaret Cruisin’ 7th
CITY Cruisin’ 7th Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix
Bunkhouse Orpheum Theatre Fox Theatre Club Volt Karamba The Rock
Phoenix Phoenix Tucson Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix
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PHX PRIDE AWARDS
PHX ART MUSEUM
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one•n•ten Moves to Phoenix Pride Presents Awards New Facility The one•n•ten executive staff held an open house on Wednesday, June 21 for the Hero’s Circle Summer Reception Youth Center Construction Tour of their future home at the Parsons Center for Health and Wellness, 1101 N. Central Ave. The “Cocktails and Coveralls” event gave visitors an exclusive hard-hat tour experience of one•n•ten’s new home. The new space opens on September 1. In addition to the youth center and a full kitchen, space is dedicated for 35 students enrolled in Q High for the upcoming school year. Last year held enrollment of 14 students. School will begin August 7.
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Phoenix Pride awarded more than $82,000 in community grants and scholarships at the 9th Annual Phoenix Pride Community Spirit Awards, on June 23, at the Phoenix Art Museum. The awards include $35,000 in individual scholarship awards and $47,418 in community grants to local organizations that work in, or in support of, the Arizona LGBTQ community, plus awards for the 2017 Phoenix Pride Parade, as well the presentation of the independent Community Spirit Awards to recipient businesses, organizations and individuals, as nominated by the LGBTQA community.
ION’s Splash Bash Weekend & Sexiest Bartender Contest Welcomes Summer ION Arizona brought summer in with a bang for their readers on Saturday, June 3 at Hotel 502 in Phoenix with their popular, annual pool party. The day was capped off with a live performance by out singer/songwriter Steve Grand. The excitement mounted on Sunday for the annual “Sexiest Bartender Contest” sponsored by Tito’s Handmade Vodka. 11 bartenders brought it all on stage. “Best Talent” went to David Perre of Club VOLT who also won the ION cover contest, while “Beauty Queen” was awarded to Caity Quail from The Cash. “Best Cocktail” kudos went to Jake Robert from Stacey’s @ Melrose. The glam title of “Sexiest Bartender” was awarded to OZ Bar, thanks to Aaron Tarango who raised over $5,000. The generosity of the community helped fill the coffers of Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS with over $30,000, the beneficiary, providing valuable testing and resources. July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 41
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RuPaul’s Drag Race Beauty Follows Her Heart
O
by Deon Brown
nly a few contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race have been as controversial as the glamorous, beautiful season 9 contestant, Valentina. 26-year-old James Leyva garnered a coveted spot on the award winning reality TV show after only one audition. (Alaska auditioned five times.) Her meteoric rise doing drag professionally for less than a year astonished audiences. She counts over 60,000 followers on Facebook, more than 493,000 on Instagram and 70,000 on Twitter. And you know how tremendoulsy devoted her fans can be ... The Los Angeles native’s pride in her Latino heritage is open and fierce, influencing her performances. We caught up with the loving, lovely Valentina by phone the morning after the RPDR grand finale and coronation to find out why “everything about her is perfect!” We’ll eat her up every single time, too. ION: Hello, Valentina! What are you doing now that RuPaul’s Drag Race is over? Any projects?
Valentina: I just launched my website, AllAboutValentina.com where you can get my prints, promos, t-shirts and tank tops as well. ION: What do you wish people knew about you that wasn’t reflected on the show? Valentina: I’m happy with the editing. I feel, like, perhaps people need to know that I’m human. I’m just like everybody else; I have good days, I have bad days. This has been a big learning experience for me. I tried my very best to be a great example and learn through this process to get better with my social media, performances. I’ve always been the kind of person to push myself to get better. Always, always. ION: You love telenovelas. If you had your own telenovela, what would the name of it be? Valentina: It would have to be named after a hit song that I would sing as the protagonist. “La Gata Bajo la Lluvia.” ... “The Cat Under the Rain.” Do you speak Spanish? Can you see the imagery? July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 45
the energy and the power and the romanticism of the Spanish language in drag. A lot of times people think or feel that I’m the first because through my drag there’s so much representation of the Latin culture. ION: You told Vogue magazine that the secret to beauty is, “Fulfilling your fantasy.” You’ve competed on RPDR. What is your next fantasy?
ION: There’s been several Latina queens on RPDR. Why do you think it took so long for a Mexican-American queen to compete? Valentina: There have been other Mexican-American queens: Adore Delano and Delta Werk. ION: Thank you for pointing that out. Still, you identify with your heritage much more strongly, do you think that’s fair to say? Valentina: The thing with me—my drag persona, Valentina—there’s so much Latin experience injected into my persona. Telenovelas, Miss Universe, my mom ... it’s all very, very Latino driven. Even my songs I choose are all in Spanish. I’m always just trying to emote 46
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Valentina: My next fantasy and my goal is to become a Latin sensation and become the face of drag in Latin America. I have this dream to launch some kind of campaign or endorsement deal—I’m working on it now—I really want to find my way and wiggle into either Telemundo or Univision and star as a TV personality as an AmericanLatino crossover. ION: You’re working with Jeremy Scott, the creative director and designer at the innovative fashion house, Moschino. Valentina: Yes! He’s very sweet. He’s really embraced me. To have people like Jeremy and Vogue reach out and let me know that they really enjoyed my experience on Drag Race. The show has been such a platform for me to reach hearts. Sometimes it touches the hearts of evil trolls online who want to be really mean, and sometimes it’s the hearts of
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human beings who are in very successful, powerful positions with a passion for Valentina. I’m very grateful to have been embraced by Jeremy Scott and the offices at Vogue. It’s a thrilling experience to know that those people with talent who I really admire believe me in my artistry as well. ION: RPDR competitor Aja’s “Shady Valentina Rant” (“You’re perfect! You’re beautiful! You look like Linda Evangelista! Are you a model?”) was turned into a catchy, synthy, club banger. Do you think you’ll meet Linda Evangelista? Valentina: Probably so! I’m getting invited to a lot of fashion events! Maybe one day a designer will invite her to a show and I’ll be there. I’ll let her know, “We might not look that much alike, but I’ve been called ‘Linda Evangelista’ many times.’ She knows about the song and shared it on her Instagram. ION: Would you do another season of RuPaul’s Drag Race? Valentina: I would! I would! I think definitely that’s something my fans would really want me to do. I feel like my “ending” on the show is the perfect story, “... to be continued.” ION: How is your relationship with RuPaul? It seemed like it might be a litte ... well ... rocky. Valentina: What do you mean by “rocky”? Are you talking about my elimination? Or the entire show? During the elimination Ru was coming from a place of passion. I think what was really
happening was that she was seeing me crumble and fall. She was really rooting for me, really trying to let me know, “Bitch, you are fucking up; this is your last chance. Wake up! You’re still not gone yet!” It was that frustration. In her eyes I could see, “Are you really gonna give up by keeping on the mask?” ION: Early on, many viewers pegged you to win. Were you surprised ...? Valentina: Was I surprised? About my elimination? (Bristles slightly) Listen, this happened many, many months ago— to be honest. I’ve done lots of press about this. My fans already know the situation. Was I disappointed in myself? Yes. Back then I was devastated. I was very affected by my elimination. It was something that I thought that I didn’t have full control of my mind or my thoughts at that moment. I was in a state of shock and couldn’t snap out of it. I guess I got stuck in my head. I’ve learned and I’ve grown from it. Now I see my elimination as a blessing. It’s an amazing episode and a very dramatic way to be remembered. Now I’m “Miss Congeniality” and “Fan Favorite.” I’m really lucky to have made an impact on a lot of people. ION: What can we can expect from you at Charlie’s in Phoenix? Valentina: Latina glamour! Expect me to be drenched in perfume. I’m very excited to meet everyone! Don’t miss the glamour and beauty of Valentina on Thursday, July 20 at 10 p.m. as part of Charlie’s Summer Splash Party. 737 W. Camelback Rd. in Phoenix. July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 49
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War on the Catwalk The Queens from Season 9
War is hell ... you can expect these queens to pull out the heavy artillery as they sashay into Arizona and battle it out on stage. Don’t miss hostess Trinity Taylor with stars Shea Couleé, Farrah Moan, Alexis Michelle, Aja, Nina Bo’Nina Brown, and winner Sasha Velour. For tickets go to TicketForce.com (See ads on pp. 7 & 8) Phoenix: Wednesday, August 9 at the Orpheum Theatre, 203 W. Adams. Tucson: Thursday, August 10 at the Fox Theatre, 17 W. Congress St.
JULY 2017 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME Tues 4 1:00pm Thurs 6 11:00pm Fri 7 10:30pm Wed 12 Thurs 13 10:00pm Sun 16 4:00pm Sun 16 3:00pm Thurs 20 10:00pm Sat 22 Wed 26 Fri 28 10:00pm 8/9 8:00pm 8/9 8:00pm 8/10 11:00pm Mondays 10:00pm Tuesday 10:00pm Wednesdays 10:30pm Wednesdays 10:00pm 1st & 3rd Thurs 9pm Thursdays 10:30pm Thursdays 10:00pm 2nd & 4th Fri 10:30pn Fridays 9:00pm Fridays 10:00pm Fridays 10:00pm Fridays 10:30 Fridays 9:00pm Fridays 9:00pm Saturdays 10:30pm Saturdays 10:00pm Saturdays 9:30pm 1st Sunday 2:00pm Sundays 8:30pm Sundays 7:00pm 3rd Sunday 2:00pm
LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot’s 4th of July Show & Water Slide Club Volt Sasha Velour Cruisin’ 7th Olivia’s Garden Party Karamba Lip Sync Battle Show Club Volt FACE Amateur Drag Competition (Every 2nd Thursday) BS West Drag Wars The Cash Drag Makeup Tutorial Charlie’s Summer Splash Series with Valentina Karamba White Party with Aubrey Garibay Karamba Drag Diva Contest The Rock Lady Christian’s Trailer Trash Revue Orpheum Theatre War on the Catwalk FOX Tucson War on the Catwalk Club Volt Naomi Smalls Charlie’s Claudia B Hosts The Strip Factor Karamba Savannah Moussier’s Show Karamba Karamba Girls - Adriana Galiano & Karime Lizaldi Charlie’s Nevaeh’s High Heels & Halos Cruisin’ 7th Camping Out with the Southern Belles Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Charlie’s Coco St. James’ Neon Party Cruisin’ 7th Nikki at Night with Nikki Knowles Los Diablos Friday Mass with Aimee V Justice Club Volt 4Some Revue with Miley, Gia, Piper & Luna Boycott Fresh Fish with Sonja Savage, Falaesha Savage, The Rock Special Event Rotating Drag Shows Plazma Freaky Fridays with Celia Putty BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers Cruisin’ 7th Lady Christian’s Lady & the Tramps The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show Cruisin’ 7th Excuse Our Beauty Revue Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends BS West The Showgirl Follies Big Sexy Show Cruisin’ 7th The Morning After with Trixxie Deluxxe July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 51
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Saturday Night Fever: the musical
Tony Manero ain’t your garden variety guido from Brooklyn. Well, that’s not entirely true. But just wait ‘til you see his sexy dance moves in the disco on the dance floor! This cleaned-up, family friendly jukebox musical featuring disco hit after hit from the BeeGees and others lights up the dancefloor July 21 through August 20 at the Arizona Broadway Theatre, 7701 W. Paradise Ln. in Peoria. For tickets go to AZBroadway.org or call 623-776-8400
Gilbert Gottfried
The screeching, obnoxious, squinty-eyed Gottfried is kind of a landmark in the entertainment world. He made his mark on The New Hollywood Squares, Saturday Night Live, Jaffar’s parrot, Iago, in Aladdin and, until 2011, the voice of the Aflac duck. He brings his stand-up comedy to Phoenix on August 3-5 at the Tempe Improv, 30 E. University Dr. For tickets go to TempeImprov.com or call 480-21-9877.
Cinema Twain
Hollywood’s notoriously difficult Top Gunner, Val Kilmer, appears in person to introduce a screening of his one-man play, Citizen Twain about Mark Twain. The one-time Batman transforms himself into the great American humorist and writer in this comedic and moving performance, spinning yarns and spouting off barbs, witticisms and sarcastic observations about everything. There’s a lot more to ol’ Sam Clemens than Huckleberry Finn, folks. Sunday, August 6 at Stand Up Live at CitiScape, 50 W. Jefferson St. For tix go to StandUpLive.com or call 480-719-6100. VIP Meet ‘n’ Greet available.
JULY 2017 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE
7-8/19 9 13-15 thru 16 16 20-22 21-29 21-8/20
EVENT
The Little Mermaid Hale Centre Theatre The Mystery Plays Mesa Encore Theatre Steve-O Tempe Improv 3 Redneck Tenors Phoenix Theatre Musical Schmoozicals Hormel Theatre Bobby Lee Tempe Improv Summer Music Series Phoenix Theatre Saturday Night Fever: the musical AZ B’wayTheatre
COMPANY
480-497-1181 480-834-9500 480-921-9877 602-254-2151 602-254-2151 480-921-9877 602-254-2151 623-776-8400
3-5 6
Gilbert Gottfried Val Kilmer: “Cinema Twain”
Tempe Improv Stand Up Live
480-921-9877 480-719-6100
AUGUST
PHONE
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Hall & Oates with Tears for Fears These guys’ music provided the soundtrack for the 80’s with hit after hit. Relive the magic on Monday, July 17 at the Gila River Arena, 9400 W. Maryland Ave. in Glendale. Call 800-745-3000 for tix or visit GilaRiverArena.com or Ticketmaster.com
I
Love the 90’s See TLC, Biz Markie, Blackstreet, All-4-One, C&C Music Factory, Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath, Snap! and Naughty by Nature to relive the good times. It’s worth it for “No Diggity” alone! PHOENIX: Saturday, July 22 at Celebrity Theatre, 440 N. 32nd St. Tix: CelebrityTheatre.com or call 602-267-1600 TUCSON: Sunday, July 23 at Casino del Sol, 5655 W. Valencia. Tix: 800-344-9435
Ed Sheeran Looking for someone more current? How about that lovable, goofy, Hobbit-like English ginger, Ed Sheeran? He’s here on Saturday, August 5 at the Gila River Arena, 9400 W. Maryland Ave. in Glendale. Call 800-745-3000 for tix or visit GilaRiverArena.com or Ticketmaster.com
JULY 2017 ION CONCERT CALENDAR DATE ARTIST LOCATION PHONE 3 Bone Thugs N Harmony Livewire - Scottsdale 480-361-9783 8 Prince Royce Comerica Theatre - Phoenix 800-745-3000 11 Tony Bennett Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix 602-267-1600 12 Kendrick Lamar Gila River Arena - Glendale 800-745-3000 16 Goo Goo Dolls Comerica Theatre - Phoenix 800-745-3000 17 Hall & Oates/Tears for Fears Gila River Arena - Glendale 800-745-3000 18 Third Eye Blind Comerica Theatre - Phoenix 800-745-3000 18 Earth, Wind & Fire Talking Stick Resort Arena - Phx 800-745-3000 21 Tim McGraw & Faith Hill Gila River Arena - Glendale 800-745-3000 21 Happy Together Tour Celebrity Theatre - Phoenix 602-267-1600 22 I Love the 90s Talking Stick Resort Arena - Phx 800-745-3000 23 I Love the 90s Casino del Sol - Tucson 800-344-9435 25 Lindsey Buckingham & Christine McVie Comerica Theatre - Phx 800-745-3000 AUGUST 1 John Mayer Talking Stick Resort Arena - Phx 800-344-9435 2 Matchbox Twenty, Counting Crows Ak-Chin Pavilion - Phoenix 800-344-9435 5 Ed Sheeran Gila River Arena - Glendale 800-745-3000 8 10,000 Maniacs Crescent Ballroom - Phoenix 877-435-9849 July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 55
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Haunting. Hungry. A
s time marches on, we can look forward to the traditional model of movie releases not to be limited strictly to the big theatre chains. Some movie lovers would rather enjoy the movie watching experience in front of their wide screen TVs, in their underwear, drinking and eating their own soda and snacks instead of overpriced theatre fare. This is perfect for cheapskates and agoraphobics (people who are afraid to leave the house.) Take your pick this month: a night out, or home on the sofa?
A Ghost Story Starring: Casey Affleck, Rooney Mara “You do what you can to make sure that you’re still around after you’re gone.” Affleck and Mara (Ain’t Them Bodies Saints) are reunited. C (Affleck, Manchester by the Sea) is killed in a car accident. He haunts time and space while donning a white sheet with two holes cut out for eyes. Don’t expect Whoopi Goldberg to warn, “You in danger, girl,” in this unconventional, metaphysical, high concept story about the history and the afterlife. This is not a horror movie, but promises to be a thoughtful, emotional examination of the hereafter. Release date July 7
To the Bone Starring: Lily Collins, Keanu Reeves This sensitively produced picture is written and directed by Marti Noxon, writer and producer of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Lifetime series UnREAL, season 3 of Glee and based on her own early battle with the eating disorder, anorexia nervosa. Young Ellen (Collins, Mirror, Mirror) is willful ... and starving to death. After stints at a series of recovery programs for anorexia, her dysfunctional family places her into a group home shepherded by the unconventional Dr. Beckham (the eternally beautiful Reeves, John Wick franchise). Look for the genius of Lily Taylor (The Conjuring) as Ellen’s biological mother, a lesbian. Promoted as a “comedy-drama,” we’re wondering where the humor comes in, despite the zinger in the previews. Difficult to watch in places, reviews speculate this picture may change lives. Release date July 14, streaming on Netflix only
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by Peter Lora pintelonegro@gmail.com
Katy Perry
Witness With the shift to streaming music, artists are abandoning the ear-wormery of the hit single, making the shift to album artist. Perry’s peers and pariahs Beyoncé, Rihanna, Gaga and even Swift are making the switch leaving the pop caricature to catch up. Witness is full of eye-rolling gimmicks that (unfortunately for Perry) won’t be taken seriously. Ironically, the sound of Witness is Perry’s most stylistically tasteful outing, but cringe-worthy lyrics ruin all of it. A ballad about saving an email as a draft? “Swish Swish” sounds like a RuPaul discard, and “Bon Appétit” is one great idea stretched beyond its one minute margin. It’s not all bad; with subtle, “Power,” “Miss You More,” and “Into Me You See” she succeeds, pointing to a sort of Ray of Light moment about her next endeavor. “Chained to the Rhythm” has all the makings of a great pop song, Sia penned, Max Martin produced, a hypnotic chord progression but somehow the critique of populism seems ill-paired with pop music’s Wonder Woman. Available now
Lorde
Melodrama “Don’t you think it’s boring how people talk?” might be one of the best ever first lyrics on an album. Lorde’s debut, Pure Heroine, with its anti-teen pop message and sophisticated beats had the likes of David Bowie saying she was the future of music and counterculture. Not rich, nor boring. Except now she’s rich.
Aural Fixation
Melodrama finds Lorde attempting to take on the break-up album while balancing her cool with the commercial styling of her peers, i.e. Taylor Swift. Lead single “Green Light,” penned by Swift conspirator Jack Antonoff, is pure rubbish. Lazy lyrics mean nothing: “We order different drinks at the same bar” float over a beat you’d expect from a student attempt at a Broadway musical. “Sober,” “Homemade Dynamite” are forgettable. “The Louvre” is the first song on the album where Lorde’s vocal and lyrical strengths are at the forefront of a marriage between 80’s romanticism and the style of Pure Heroine. The rest takes on the break-up narrative with “Liability” and the best produced track, “Hard Feelings/Loveless.” The drama on Melodrama takes a back seat to clicks and synths and party beats, just like being 20-years-old. Available Now
THE DL SONGS TO DOWNLOAD ARTIST - SONG Fischerspooner – “Have Fun Tonight” Washed Out - “Hard to Say Goodbye” Scissor Sisters – “SWERLK” feat. MNDR HAIM – “Little of Your Love” Shania Twain – “Life’s About to Get Good” DJ Khaled – “Wild Thoughts” feat. Rihanna Radiohead – “I Promise” The Drums - “Your Tenderness” Arcade Fire – “Everything Now” Daphni – “Tin” July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 59
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Ray of Light
3 Generations (2015)
T
here are so many different words to describe the relationship we have with our family. One word probably describes everyone’s family relationship accurately: “complicated.” 3 Generations is a complicated movie about a very complicated family. It took two years for this to see its (disappointing) box office returns. Many factors contribute to the formation of our personalities. It’s easy to guess that “deviant sexuality” (and I mean that in a sociologic, scientific, non-pejorative sense) usually creates a minefield. Sexuality is always bound to push buttons—especially where emotionally charged teenagers are concerned, and especially when a teen is living in a body that shouldn’t have been assigned. 3 Generations addresses that very complicated issue. Today, 1.4 million adults in the USA identify as transgender. Factor in teens, that number grows. That’s what this is all about: Ray (Fanning, Super 8, Maleficent) is a boy trapped in a girl’s body. He lives in a NYC brownstone with his divorced mother, Maggie (Watts, Birdman, St. Vincent) and his lesbian grandmother, Dolly (the underutilized Sarandon, Feud) and her longtime partner, Frances (Edmond, Julie and Julia). Ray is anxious to start hormone replacement therapy, but this requires parental consent. The search for Ray’s “deadbeat dad” (Donovan, Manchester by the Sea, Elvis & Nixon) brings up issues. More complicated issues.
Despite an all-star cast, understated yet lustrous acting, 3 Generations has its own complicated issues, like the sassy lesbian grandmother who refuses to understand her trans grandson’s desire to live authentically, for one, asking, “Why doesn’t she just be a lesbian?” (This shortsightedness, especially coming from a liberal, worldly minority, was a sticking point with many critics.) Nonetheless, this complicated (there’s that word again), yet sensitively told story failed to resonate with audiences. As the fabric of American families’ tales continues to be woven, it’s important to tell stories like this one. The trick will always be to coach audiences to understand and care. I wanted to love 3 Generations, but I’m not sure if I did. Finally, watch out: Now she’s like a young, female version of Leonardo di Caprio back in the day, but Elle Fanning will go on to become one of the great actors of our time. I’ll bet money on it. ★★☆☆☆
Available now, DVD, Blu-ray, Netflix & Amazon streaming
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W
Poke Dokey! Ocean Poke Co.
e can thank Hawaii, our “Aloha!” state, for lots of things: pineapples, sugar cane, macadamia nuts, and President Barack Obama (well, we like him!). Not so much all the Spam their so crazy about adding on their menus. Now there’s something else to thank the Island State for: the recent mainland craze for the Poke Bowl (pronounced, “Poh-KEH,” which means “to cut crosswise into pieces in Hawaiian.) It’s nothing new to Hawaiians. Traditional poke is raw ahi tuna, but chefs have taken a good deal of creative culinary license, preparing these tasty bowls with salmon, scallops, octopus, marlin or just about anything from undah da sea as the star ingredient. Here on the mainland, it’s a trend. On the islands, it’s a time honored staple. Just like Haole (what they call “White people”) might eat McDonald’s out of a styrofoam clamshell, historically the Kamaaina (native Hawaiians) would eat poke out of halved coconut shell. Poke bowls are filled with a variety of additional ingredients: usually rice, or quinoa, zucchini noodles, greens (including my arch nemesis, the
regrettable kale), scallions, daikon sprouts, watermelon radish, peppers, cucumber or just about whatever you can think of, topped off with sesame seeds, plus your choice of sauce. Currently, you could say that there’s a “Plethora of Poke” popping up all over Phoenix. We sampled the fare offered at Ocean Poke Co. who opened shop in mid-Phoenix at the Gaslight Square just two months ago. They’ve collected over 20 quality ingredients, including fish, shellfish, fruits, legumes, grains, veggies and more to fill your bowls. The seafood is delivered daily and selected under the discriminating eye of the chef. If something doesn’t quite pass muster, it might not be available that day. They have eight Signature Bowls, each with it’s own identity and verve. The Citrus (pictured top) fills a bowl with white or brown rice, albacore, scallops (cooked, with a delicate sauce), a fabulous mango relish, edamame, watermelon radish, coconut flakes and topped with a spritely ginger honey sauce that you’ll love. Looking for something with a little kick to it? Try the Heat Check (pictured center). July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 63
Take a bed of white or brown rice, heap on their spicy tuna, cucumber, jalapeño peppers, green onions, daikon sprouts, chile flakes, garlic soy sauce and the sinus-clearing wasabi. Other bowls, with names like Cali, Kim Chi and Go Hawaiian are similar, with little twists here and there like cucumber, pickled red onion, avocado, tofu noodles, and fancy toppings like quail eggs and roe. You can even build your own bowl, making yours unique. Choose your base, your protein—ahi tuna, a sparky spicy tuna, salmon or a chewy octopus salad (which didn’t thrill me), toppings and sauce. Each bowl is around $10 or $12. Some toppings (like avocado and tofu noodles) add a modest buck or two to the total. Not so crazy about raw fish? Don’t worry. Landlubbers can get a heaping scoop of spicy chicken instead, or you can go full veggie. Got a sweet tooth? Don’t miss out on the Açaí Bowls. Choose from two different bowls, but we liked the Fully 64
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Loaded Açaí Bowl with blueberries, strawberries, bananas, granola, blackberries, peanut butter, coconut flakes and honey for $7. So shareable. Or not. Whet your whistle with some classic Wild Tonic Jun-Kombucha. Personally, I’m not ordinarily a big fan of the vinegary elixir, but this changed my mind: It’s fermented with tea and honey, bringing exquisite flavors to the top in a lightly effervescent drink. It’s brewed in beautiful Cottonwood, Arizona, and Ocean Poke Co. keeps it on tap. Everyone likes a Loyalty Club (buy nine bowls, get one free with their card!) plus they’ll give you a little reward if you Instagram your picture there. You can always go antiquing at Antique Gatherings next door when you’re done. (Gays love antiques!) The Ocean Poke Co. is bright and clean. Look for the very funny Zach working behind the counter (and look for the hot manager with the fantastic ass, too, boys! I knew that’d get your attention if the poke didn’t.) Mahalo! 3619 E. Indian School Rd. SE corner of 36th St. & Indian School Rd. in Gaslight Square 602-283-5153 OceanPokeCo.com
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“Dance like there’s nobody watching.”
That ain’t true here, folks! There’s lots and lots of people watching! You better believe it! It’s time for one of the biggest, most popular, extravagant showstopping, crowd-pleasing fundraisers in Phoenix! It’s almost time for “Dancing for one•n•ten.” You won’t want to miss this 10th annual celebrity ballroom championship competition, ladies and gentlemen! Come see some of our community’s movers and shakers while they move and shake their bon-bons on the stage, with polished, professional dance instructors, raising money for one•n•ten, providing safe, fun meeting space and environments, housing, education, wellness, and offering leadership skills for the LGBTQ youth of the Valley of the Sun. Will the adorable Bryan West and Jordyn Reyes chance it with the Malagueña? Perhaps cheeky Jen Moreland and Shawn Nerdahl will Cha-Cha their way into your heart. There’s always the chance that debonair Tom Marin and Natalie Crandall will steal the show with the Lambada ... the forbidden dance! One thing’s for sure: anything can happen at “Dancing for one•n•ten.” And it will! Sunday, August 13 at 4 p.m. at the Tempe Center for the Arts Theatre. Doors open at 3 p.m., the spectacular starts at 4 p.m.
VIP tickets available at TCA.Ticketforce.com Photgraphy by Scotty Kirby July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 67
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Nevaeh McKenzie & Tim Bishop A former youth participant in one•n•ten programs, Karrington Valenzuela, performing as his drag persona Nevaeh, is a frontrunner. Nevaeh has a background in theatre, and is no stranger to fundraising, often donating her time, talents, and treasure to several community organizations, including one•n•ten. Nevaeh and dance partner (and three time DWTB Champ instructor) Tim are looking forward to dancing together and raising awareness and funds for a cause near and dear to their hearts. Sponsored by Charlie’s
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Brad Speck & Elvin Dioquino
As a former professional dancer and musical theatre artist for over 20 years, Brad is no stranger to the bright lights of the stage. He now leads The Brad Speck Team – Realty One Group while supporting many non-profit initiatives around town. Brad and his partner Elvin will surely be a team to be reckoned with on the dance floor. Sponsored by Stacy’s @ Melrose
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Bryan West & Jordyn Reyes You may feel you already know Bryan. As a reporter for 12 News he brings current events into your living room onto your TV. Bryan is comfortable in front of the camera, but he gets a little nervous in front of crowds. Shhh! His partner Jordyn reports that he has some hidden talents, and we can’t wait to see what they bring to wow the audience. Sponsored by The Rock
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Jared Dillingham & Selina Vega As a professional news reporter, Jared meets many youths needing support and love, motivating him to compete this year. Jared admits what he may lack in dance experience, he makes up for with enthusiasm and charm. He’s excited to step out of his comfort zone with his partner, Selina. He quoted Cher before the curtain went up at her last tour saying, “I hope you’re all grading on a curve!” Sponsored by Bliss|ReBAR
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Jen Moreland & Shawn Nerdahl Being a busy bar manager gives Jen unique abilities, like multi-tasking, tenacity, and a devotion to her community. Jen is looking forward to using all these skills (plus her experience as a child ballerina) as she cha-cha’s her way for the win. Instructor Shawn is a veteran to the competition and no stranger to first place. Sponsored by The Cash
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Jordan Nimura & James Weathers
Jordan brings an extensive dance background to the competition: she studied ballet for 14 years as well as modern dance besides dabbling in ballroom dance. She’s looking forward to learning a few new steps from her dance partner, James. Jordan is excited to represent Lustre in this fundraiser and contest, and showcasing her dance experience for an amazing cause. Sponsored by Lustre Rooftop Garden
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Kelvin Harper & Paige Knuth Kelvin’s ”love for fabulous things” is what propelled him joining the cast of this year’s dance competition. A seasoned performer with a boisterous personality, Kelvin is working with his professional dance partner Paige. This dynamic duo is excited to hip-hop their way for the win and take home the trophy. Sponsored by Los Diablos
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Saellah V & Sean Emad Aloha! Saellah V is an entertainer at BS West with an exotic background in Polynesian, Hawaiian and Samoan dance. Known for her incredible costumes, Saellah is sure to leave it all on the stage. Pairing her with past finalist, whirling dervish Sean, makes them a very good bet for the win. Sponsored by BS West
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Tom Marin & Natalie Crandall Tom knows his away across a dance floor. You may find him tearing up the floor at dance clubs, car dancing on the road, and most recently strutting his stuff walking down the aisle at his own wedding last month. Tom and his talented partner, Natalie are excited to support a great cause and compete with other respected leaders. Sponsored by Postino Wine Cafe
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Sponsored by Kobalt
Gavin Sisson, performing under the guise of his drag persona Stella Prince, automatically has a leg-up on the competition. He’s a professional dancer for over 20 years, performing and teaching through Scorpius Dance Theatre. We can’t wait to see the skills and talents Stella brings to the stage. Stella and Freddie are excited to bring their diverse dance backgrounds to the footlights.
Stella Prince & Freddie Maese
BS West Service Industry Night (W)
Bar 1 Beer Bust (W)
OZ BAR Poker (W)
31
OZ Bingo (W)
Stacy’s @ Melrose Karaoke (W)
MATCH Sunday Brunch (W)
Bar 1 Karaoke (W)
Comerica Theatre Third Eye Blind
Celebrity Theatre Tony Bennett
BS West Stars Choice (W)
Dick’s Cabaret Amateur Night (W)
OZ BAR Poker (W)
AUG 1
Los Diablos Taco Tuesday (W)
The Cash Free Dance Lessons (W)
25
18
11
Charlie’s Pussy’s 4th of July Show
Bunkhouse BBQ
4 Independence Day
TUESDAY
Club Volt Dollar Drink Thursdays (W) OZ BAR Karaoke (W)
The Rock Undie Night with Chris (W)
3
Bar 1 2-4-1 Everything (W)
Karamba Karamba Girls Show
The Cash Karaoke (W)
OZ BAR Karaoke (W)
Cruisin’ 7th Wild Men of the West (W)
27
OZ BAR Poker (W)
The Rock Undie Night with Chris (W)
20
Tempe Improv Steve-O.
Charlie’s Valentina
26
2
BS West WMW XPosed (W)
Club Volt Sasha Velour
Club Volt FACE Amateur Drag Competition
13
6
THURSDAY
Bliss/ ReBAR IGNITE Monthly Mixer
19
BS West 2-4-1 (W)
Karamba Lip Sync Battle
Dick’s Cabaret WTF Wednesday (W)
The Rock Undie Night with Chris (W)
12
5
WEDNESDAY
I N PARTY CAM EVENTS • (W) WEEKLY EVENT
30
Stacy’s @Melrose Phoenix Gay Idol
24
Cruisin’ 7th AGRA Fundraiser
OZ BAR Poker (W)
Hormel Theatre Musical Schmoozicals
23
The Rock IGNITE Chatroom
17
The Flex Free Testing (W)
Bunkhouse Full Moon Glow Party
BS West Drag Wars
Stacy’s @ Melrose Karaoke (W)
10
The Rock IGNITE Chatroom
The Rock Rock’n Bodies Review (W)
Cruisin’ 7th Imperial Court Revue
The Anvil Underwear Night
3
MONDAY
OZ BAR Bingo (W)
16
9
2
SUNDAY
July 2017 Cruisin’ 7th Olivia’s Garden Party
The Rock Karaoke (W)
4 The Rock Barbra Seville Show (W)
BS West ELEMENTS Drag (W)
Los Diablos Friday Mass (W)
The Rock Lady Christian’s Trailer Trash Revue
28
Club Volt Christmas in July at 4SOME
21
Los Diablos Friday Mass (W)
Dick’s Cabaret XXXmas in July
Club Volt Party in the USA at 4SOME
14
7
FRIDAY
Los Diablos Angels & Demons (W)
29
22
The Cash DJ Delicious (W)
MATCH Saturday Brunch (W)
TSR Arena I Love the 90’s
Dick’s Cabaret Summer Luau
Charlie’s Hell Freezes Over
Bunkhouse Bearlesque
TSR Arena Ed Sheeran
Bunkhouse Bears of the West Beer Bust
5
Anvil Men of Leather Night Karamba Wild Men of the West (W)
15
8
The Rock The Barbra Seville Show (W)
1
SATURDAY
hydrat
DRINK & EVENT GUIDE
PHOENIX FRIDAY SATURDAY
SUNDAY
Anvil
DIRTY DADDY DANCERS 10pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm
WILD MEN of the WEST 7:30pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm
BEER BUST $3 Pitchers All Day HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm
Bar 1
HH 10am-7pm
$2.25 Domestic Bottles 7pm-9pm
$1.50 Bud Light Drafts $2 Canned Beer
HH $4 Well & Beer $2 OFF Apps/GlassWine/Prem.Spirits
Brunch Specials 10a-3p $12 Bttle of Bubbly, $5 Bloodys
$12 Bttle of Bubbly, $5 Bloodys 10a-3p 1/2 OFF Cocktails 2-7pm KARAOKE
Elements Show 10pm $5 U-Call-It Drinks & Shots
2-4-1 All Day/All Night Go-Go Boys, Extended Patios VIP
Sunday Funday KARAOKE 10p $2 Miller - $3 Marys & Mimosas
2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm $2.50 Miller Products
2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm $2.50 Bud Products
Happy Hour All Day JAZZ w/ Kenny Thames 7pm
The Cash
HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm $1 Drafts 8-10pm $5 Long Isl 10-cl
HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm DJ Delicious 9pm
HH $3 Well & Dom ALL DAY KARAOKE 8pm
Charlie’s
$3 Pitch/2-4-1 Well-Dom 2-7pm $1 Draft 10pm-Mid
2-4-1 Well/Dom Noon-7pm $3 Absolut/Barcardi Flavors 10-Mid
Super Happy Hour 4-7pm $3 Pitch / $3 Lng Island Open-Cl
NEW Club Volt
4SOME REVUE 10pm $30 Champagne $4 4Some Cock.
HIGH VOLTAGE Go-Gos $3 Wells HH 4-8pm $1 Dom. $2 Well
LIQUID BRUNCH SUNDAYS $2 Dom. Draft $5 Long Island
HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Event Night 10:30pm
Dirty Daddy Dancers 4:30pm Lady Christian 10:30pm
HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm TS Dancers 10:30pm
2-4-1 VIP Dances 7-9pm
Off the Hook Tons of Prizes & Giveaways
2-4-1 Cover, Wristbands & VIP Dances
HH 3:30-6:30pm & 11pm-Close $2 OFF Apps / Well / Wine / Beer
$4 Signature Brunch Drinks 10a-3p $4 Mimosas $5 Big Bloodys
$4 Signature Brunch Drinks 10a-3p $4 Mimosas $5 Big Bloodys
Vaquero Fridays 9-11pm Reverse Happy Hour $3 Drinks
Top 40 Saturdays 9-11pm Reverse Happy Hour $3 Drinks
Top 40 Sundays Diamond Show $3 Pitchers Beer Bust
Finally Friday HH 3pm-7pm Reverse HH 10p-Close
HH 12pm-Close $5 Dom Pitchers $7 LIT&AMF Pitchers
Oz Bar
$2.75 Well & Dom 6a-2p $3.75 2p-cl KARAOKE 8pm-Cl POKER 7pm
$2.75 Well & Dom 6a-2p $3.75 2p-cl KARAOKE 8pm-Cl POKER 7pm
$2.75 Well & Dom 6a-2p $3.75 2p-cl KARAOKE 2p-6p Bingo 1p
Plazma
$3 Well & Dom Until 8pm $4 3 Olives & $3 Fireball Shots
HH $3 Well/Dom Btl/Drft 12/8pm All Male Revue 10pm
Beer Bust until 7p $3.50 Dom Pitch KARAOKE 8pm-Cl 2-4-1 $3 Shots
HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm KARAOKE
2-4-1 11am-7pm KARAOKE 9pm Barbra Seville Show10pm
$2 Miller & Bud Light All Day Wild Men of the West 10pm
HH 4-8pm Live DJ $2 Rolling Rock
HH 4-8pm Live DJ $2 Rolling Rock
Sunday Funday $3 Mimosas DJ $1.50 Rolling Rock & Well
Bliss/ReBar
BS West Bunkhouse
Cruisin’ 7th
Dick’s Cabaret FEZ
Karamba Los Diablos
The Rock Stacy’s
Br
Brunch 10am-2pm KARAOKE 2pm-6pm $4.50 Mimosas, $7 LI / AMF / Marg Pitchers
Br
TUCSON FRIDAY SATURDAY
H2O Hotel Congress
HH Aquadec Rooftop Bar 6p-2a FIERCE A$$ Fridays
HH Aquadec Rooftop Bar 6p-2a SLAYYY Saturdays
Live Music on the Patio Tom Walbank 7p DJ Dirtyverbs 10p
Free Dance Party 10pm DJs Sid the Kid, BOBFelix & More!
Br
Br
SUNDAY HH Aquadec Rooftop Bar 6p-2a
Br
Hot Club of Tucson 10:30pm Club KARAOKE 10pm
MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
Beards, boxers & Briefs $1 OFF HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm
$2 TUESDAY 8pm-close Well Vodka & Miller High Life
2-4-1 WELL 8pm-close HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm
KARAOKE 9pm HH $3 well/dom $2.50 pint 1-8pm
MONDAY BEER BUST $1 Bud Light Draft 7pm-close
KARAOKE 9pm $2.75 well, dom bottle & drft
$6 HUGE Long Island Ice Tea
2-4-1 U-Call-It 10am-2am (except shots & pitchers) $4 Bellinis
HH ALL DAY $4 Well & Beer $2 OFF Apps/GlassWine/Prem.Spirits
$22 Any Wine Bottle & Cheese Board 1-8pm
20% OFF ENTIRE BILL (excludes discounted items)
$22 Any Wine Bottle & Cheese Board 1-8pm
Service Industry DJ Tsunami $2 Drafts, $3 Well, $4 Bomb.
Stars Choice Show 9pm w/ Kendra Katoure $5 3 Olives
2-4-1 All Day / All Night Go-Go Boys - A Valley Tradition VIP
The Men of BS 10pm $3 Drafts/$4 Barcardi/$5 Skyy Infused
HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm
HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm
HH 8am-2pm | $4.50 Fireball( All Day) KARAOKE 9pm $3.75 L.I.
HH 2-4-1 Well / Dom 8am-2pm Underwear Night WMW $1 Off
HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm Dance Lessons 7:30pm
HH $3 Well & Dom 4-8pm KARAOKE 2-4-1 Well 8pm
HH $3 Well & Dom ALL DAY 2-4-1 Well & Dom 10pm-close
2-4-1 Cocktail / Beer 8pm-Close
$3 Pitcher / $3 Absolut 8pm-Close
2-4-1 All Cocktails & Beer Open-Close
KARAOKE 7-10pm $3 Wells $2 Dom HH 4-8pm $1 Dom. $2 Well
$1 DRINKS THURSDAYS Drafts and Cocktails
Underwear Party 8pm-Cl Half off with your Pants Off $3 J.D.
THURSDAY
HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm TS Dancers 10:30pm
HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm
HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Wild Men of the West 10:30pm
HH $2.75 Well/Dom 6am-8pm Comedy Night 9pm
2-4-1 Cover, Wristbands & VIP Dances
Amateur Night Starts at 10pm
WTF Wednedays $5 Cover and almost everything else!
$5 Cover! With coupon on our website
$5 Big Signature Margaritas
$5 All Classic Martinis
$2 OFF Glasses of Wine 50% OFF Bottles
$5 G-Spots, O-Spots, B-Spots & A-Spots
KARAOKE 9pm $3 Drinks / $3 Pitchers
Cumbia Night Savannah Show $3 Drinks / $3 Pitchers
Salsa Nights $3 Pitchers Karamba Girls Show
Urban Thursdays Ruby Show $3 Pitcher $3 Drinks
HH 3pm -Close $3 Well & Domestics 7pm-Close
Taco & Tequila Tuesdays $5 Patron & Margs $4 Dos Equis
HH 3pm-7pm KARAOKE 7pm-Cl All Drinks Buy 1 get 1 for $1 7-Cl
HH 3pm-7pm $3 Well & Domestics 7pm-Close
$2.75 Well & Dom 6a-2p $3.75 2p-cl KARAOKE 8pm-Close
$2.75 Well & Dom 6a-2p $3.75 2p-cl Poker 7pm
$2.75 Well & Dom 6a-2p $3.75 2p-cl Poker 7pm
$2.75 Well & Dom 6a-2p $3.75 2p-cl KARAOKE 8pm-Cl POKER 7pm
HH 2-4-1 4-8pm $2 Well & $3 Domestic
HH 2-4-1 4-8pm $2 Well & $3 Domestic 9pm-Close
2-4-1 4-8pm Sinful Studs 9pm-Mid
HH 2-4-1 ALL DAY
HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm KARAOKE
HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm 8pm-Close $3 Well & Domestic
HH 2-4-1 Well & Dom 2-8pm
HH 2-8pm
KARAOKE 9pm-Close HH All Day
HH All Day SONGO 6-9pm $5 Martinis All Day
2-4-1 All Day Live DJ
HH 4-8pm Live DJ $1.50 Rolling Rock 4-mid / Well 8-mid
MONDAY
TUESDAY
HH Aquadec Rooftop Bar 6p-2a
HH Aquadec Rooftop Bar 6p-2a $2 Twosdays
Br
90s House Party 10pm w/ DJ Sid the Kid 90¢ PBR Br
Taco & Tequi
Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night 8pm
Br
Br
Br
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
HH Aquadec Rooftop Bar 6p-2a
HH Aquadec 2-4-1 6pm-2am 2-4-1 Blo fish Thursdays
Live Music
Salvador Duran 7pm OPTI CLUB Dance Party 10pm
Br
Br
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PHOENIX Address
1. Anvil
Phone
2424 E. Thomas Rd.
(602) 334-1462
2. Aqua
1730 E McDowell Rd.
3. Bar 1
3702 N. 16th St.
(602) 266-9001
4. Bliss/ReBar
901 N. 4th St.
(602) 795-1792
5. Boycott Bar
4301 N 7th Ave.
(602) 515-3667
6. BS West
7125 E. 5th Ave., Scottsdale
(480) 945-9028
7. Bunkhouse
4428 N 7th Ave.
(602) 200-9154
8. The Cash
2140 E McDowell Rd.
(602) 244-9943
9. Charlie’s
727 W. Camelback Rd.
(602) 265-0224
10. Club Volt
3108 E. McDowell Rd.
(602) 244-1465
11. Cruisn’ 7th
3702 N. 7th St.
(602) 212-9888
12. Dick’s Cabaret
3432 E. Illini Rd.
(602) 274-DICK
13. FEZ
105 W. Portland St
(602) 287-8700
14. Flex Spas Phoenix
1517 S. Black Canyon Hwy.
(602) 271-9011
15. Karamba
1724 E. McDowell Rd.
(602) 254-0231
16. Kobalt
3110 N Central Ave. Park Central
(602) 264-5307
17. Los Diablos
1028 E Indian School Rd.
(602) 795-7881
18. NuTowne Saloon
5002 E Van Buren St.
(602) 267-9959
19. OZ Bar
1804 W. Bethany Home Rd.
(602) 242-5114
20. Plazma
1560 E Osborn Rd.
21. The Rock
4129 N. 7th Ave.
22 Roscoe’s
4531 N. 7th St.
(602) 253-0689
23. Stacy’s @ Melrose
4343 N 7th Ave.
24. Ticoz
5114 N. 7th St.
(602) 248-8559 (602) 285-0833 x
(602) 264-1700 (602) 200-0160
TUCSON Address
25. H2O
(602) 266-0477
x
Phone x
61 E. Congress St., Tucson
(520) 623-5400
26. Hotel Congress
311 E Congress St., Tucson
(520) 622-8848
27. IBTs
616 N 4th Ave, Tucson
(520) 882-3053
x
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I T ’S A BI G DE A L! Adult Film Star Dylan Knight
STDAZ
.COM
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T
he problems in this month’s column are hard, soft, overeasy and definitely scrambled! And I’m not talking about eggs - I’m talking about dick! Babies, your Favorite Bitch® is on the case and serving up good ol’ fashioned advice for an ultramodern world! Dear Miss Tiger, I meet dudes and it’s all good until we go home and make love. I don’t get hard when bottoming, so they leave and never talk to me again. Help! — Benji Dear It Ain’t “Makin’ Love” When You “Gettin’ Piped” By Randoms, Topping you is like screwing a corpse. If dudes wanted that ... they’d go to the local morgue ... and save themselves the bar tab. Dear Miss Tiger, I get super erect when masturbating but don’t get as hard when I’m penetrating my man. Is this normal? — Fabién Dear Fix-a-Flat, Oh it’s normal ... like a diabetic refusing a full box of Little Debbie Honey BUNS! Dear Miss Tiger, My boyfriend is 30 years older than me. I’m 23 and always ready for sex. But when he takes Viagra, even I can’t keep up! Bottoming two or three times a day for hours is leaving me sore and second guessing our relationship. What should I do? — Nick
Dear Sashay Your Ass To COSTCO And Buy some PREPARATION H Maximum Strength Pain Relief Cream, P.S. Baby, sounds like you’re a Fleshjack ... not a boyfriend. Dear Miss Tiger, My eggplant measures 11 inches. Like lots of hung guys, mine doesn’t stay hard for that long. My lover is a size queen and frustrated. What can I do to keep it hard long enough for him to enjoy it? — Dimitri Dear Your Dick Is Just About As Useful As A Giant Grandfather Clock In A Tiny Studio Apartment, I highly recommend that you invest in a cock ring or else your hungry-holed man will be outta this relationship quicker than a waitress collecting the check at a Chinese restaurant. Dear Miss Tiger, My co-worker gets semi-hard and then stops by my desk for small talk. I think he’s doing it on purpose so that I can see his bulge. Advice? — Wesley Dear I Shouldn’t Have To Tell You What To Do Because You Already Know What To Do And How To Do It, Just make sure you do “IT” in the office supply closet ... after hours.
Miss Tiger
Advice Columnist • Radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website FavoriteBitch.com Twitter/Instagram MissTiger Advice ask@misstiger.com July 2017 WWW.IONAZ.COM 95
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by Addison DeWitt
O
“ h beautiful! Flirtatious guys!” I’m feeling a little patriotic! I’m getting ready to celebrate the 4th of July. And guess who else is? Yep! It’s the handsome Joen Romero Martínez! (A) It’s an extra-special holiday for Joen, because last month he was officially sworn in as a true B blue, 100% real,
taxpaying, citizen of the United States of America! He even knows all the words to The Star Spangled Banner. In English! (Do you?) He may be a genuine ‘Murican now, but he’ll still always be the “Venezuelan Volcano” to me.
D From the “Skulduggery Abounds” files: be careful, boys and girls! Our very own Barbra Seville (B) shown here chatting on her beloved Cricket in happier days, was shopping at Walgreens for some Wet ‘n’ Wild lipstick or maybe a hot water bottle when a no-good shithead snatched her bedazzled “Hello Kitty!” Jitterbug (C) from her and ran! Shitty shenanigans like this is why Barbra can’t have nice things! And
A
C
after all the good she’s done for so many others! Readers, if you see some nefarious looking miscreant on the Light Rail or bus talking to Edward Castro or even her bestie Claudia B. on a pink, bling-y cell phone, please alert the authorities or call Wonder Woman. Do something! Lucky ION readers Jordan and Javier Medrano-Smith entered a contest on the ION Arizona Facebook page last month, winning tickets to see Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen’s show plus a Meet ‘n’ Greet (D). “Like” our page and maybe you’ll win something fabulous. Maybe even a date with me.
And just when you thought you’d seen Cher’s “Final, Final, This Time is Really (maybe) My Farewell Tour,” wait ... ! The great diva gave a surprise performance at the “Sexiest Bartender Contest” and, boy! without all those filters she looks amazingly like Duke Kimbol (E) from Roscoe’s. Sooner or later we all sleep alone. Even E Cher.
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E
arly July finds Venus entering Gemini; this turns everyone into a chatterbox, creating and diving into deep conversations. The New Moon on July 23 will help you develop leadership skills. But remember what they say about “Too many chiefs, and not enough Indians”? Your self-confidence gets a boost if you keep the big picture in mind. The end of July sees you sticking around the homefront. Keep cozy. Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20 You need a project. It might involve cleaning out an emotionally messy cupboard or a spiritually smelly closet. Get out your mental Ajax and get on your hands and knees, and scrub, Cinderella. Hard work and a little extra elbow grease is worth it. Taurus April. 21 - May 20 Your wanderlust is calling. Consider travel, because it might be a good idea to reconnect with your past and old friends. Pack light, and leave your emotional baggage behind. Bring a clean change of underwear. You never know.
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22 You’re ambitious. Werk, werk, werk, werk, werk. You always make a good first impression. Don’t let it sap your energy by getting overly ambitious. Someone older wants some after hours playtime with you. Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22 Honey, you got a reputation. This could go either way: is it a good one? Or is it a little tarnished? Try a new activity, meeting new people, expanding your circle. Be open to change. Someone does you a big favor. Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23 You’re surrounded by lots of feelings this month. You know what this means? Emotions. People come out of the woodwork to spill their guts. It can be messy. Empathy is important during the Full Moon on July 9. Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23 You’ll be forced to face some demons. These are just basic bitches who annoy you. A lot. Keep up an optimistic outlook, pull out your sword, and slay, mama, slay those dragons before they multiply.
Gemini May 21 - June 21 You need pampering. You’re feeling sensual and self-indulgent. The best suggestion is to share in an indulgence with others, but don’t be seduced by glitz and glamour. The price tag isn’t what this is about.
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20 There’s nothing wrong, but you might benefit from some counseling or a heart-to-heart with a friend. You need an outside opinion. Maybe about work, or maybe about that bitch down the hall. We hate her anyway.
Cancer June 22 - July 22 It’s a perfect time to announce your brilliance—you shouldn’t need much coaxing. Birthday Crabs are on a personal promotional tour. You’re on your own mental reality TV show all month long. Spend money on your “brand.”
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19 You feel most like yourself when you’re around people, although you may want to be a hermit around the Full Moon. You’re eagerly sought out. Time to put on a little bit of the ol’ razzle-dazzle. It’s showtime, baby!
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22 Your energy surges with ideas. You’re fully awake. Make plans! Birthday Leos: it’s the start of a Solar New Year for you. Replace bad habits with good ones. Hope it doesn’t involve kale salads. 98
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Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20 The Sun dictates a month of fun coming up for you. Let your hair down! Act like a teenager! Pleasure and play is the name of the game. Everybody is your BFF, but just try not to get too clingy. You make a good first impression on someone who matters.