ION Arizona Magazine #136

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“SAY SOMETHING” HAT PARTY

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B S W E S T, S C O T T S DA L E

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Come In, the Water’s Fine! ION Arizona is like water. It’s refreshing! It’s good for you! It’s an ocean of information! Your community is in every issue, from top(s) to bottom(s). Inside you’ll find great events listed, bars, restaurants, tanning salons, retail shops, doctors, dentists, cabs, HIV testing as well as therapy and counseling centers. All here. October is your chance to get out, participate with members of your community, be yourself and, yes, play in the water.

AZ Shines Bright

After a long, hot, dry summer, October brings us some great events throughout the state. This includes Rainbows Festival, the Arizona State Fair, BS West’s Halloween extravaganza, AIDS Walks in Phoenix and Tucson, Tucson Pride and much, much more. There are so many events this month that we couldn’t fit it in a regular issue of ION Arizona so we added 48 pages!

Come Out

If you’re out and proud, congratulations! If you’re closeted, there’s never been a better and safer time to come out. October 11th is National Coming Out Day. This is your chance to change your life for the better. Your community will be your Life Guard once you dive in.

Halloween

When I was a kid, I loved Halloween. As a Gay adult, I love it even more! But, 12

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not just for the candy or parties. This is really our holiday, where we can dress up and role play. Check out this issue for the sea of Halloween parties, haunted houses and other fun-filled events!

Get Out and Vote

I don’t care if you’re a Democrat or a Republican, a Tea Party member or an Atheist. Black or White, Gay or Straight, rich or poor. Your job as an American is not just to reap the benefits this great country has to offer, but to exercise your right to vote and help decide who will run your community, state and this country. Vote on Tuesday, November 6 and make a difference.

More to Love

I hope you enjoy this expanded 132-page issue of ION Arizona! Check out “Army of Dragness,” this year’s Halloween photofeature, our interview with the unpredictable figure skater Johnny Weir, a great feature with photography by Phoenix’s own Devin Mitchell of Devinography.com, “LesbION” a special coming out feature contributed from Out ‘n’ Proud ION Arizona reader Britany Pennington, photos of hot men in underwear available at TU Collection, plus all the regular features and guides. The moral of this story is that ION Arizona needs you. Our community needs you, and your country needs you. Thank you for your time and enjoy the water. Dive in!

Jack M. Tesorero Publisher


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2nd ANNIVERSARY

BLISS / REBAR

More PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com



BOYS NIGHT OUT OLYMPIC STYLE

APOLLO’S | BS WEST | NU TOWNE

| THE ROCK



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3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero .............................. jacktesorero@me.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ........................................ kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ....................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITORS Kimberly Ruff Austin Head PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Tom King ............................................ ionarizona@me.com PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero ............................................... (602) 750-1164 Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ............ (520) 429-5905 ionazsales@me.com ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop ..................................................... (602) 301-8457 Photographers:

Fernando Hernandez Jerry O’Conner Don Thompson Danny Catt Devin Mitchell Gavin Jowitt Cover photo by Fernando Hernandez Art by Kevin Bushaw & Tom King National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:

Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly C. Edwards

Robert Hoffman Ted Kirby Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez

Published monthly by

1995-2012: 17 Years of Design and Creative Excellence

© 2012 JMT Designs, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.


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Club Congress The historic Club Congress parties with the best of the 80s, electro-indie, new music on Mondays and Thursdays. It’s all happening down in the Old Pueblo! 311 E. Congress St. Find out more at HotelCongress.com or call 520622-8848. See ad on p. 30

Karamba’s 8th Anniversary Hey there, muchachos and muchachas! Karamba nightclub celebrating their 8th Anniversary! Celebrate Karamba style on Saturday, October 6 when they give away TEN tickets to the Madonna concert! It’s J-Lo night on Thursday, October 18 with Ruby and Diamond celebrates her 8th Anniversary on Sunday, October. Feliz Cumpleaños, Karamba! 1724 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-254-0231See ads pp. 8-10

Barbra Seville’s Madonnathon Blonde, brunette, virgin or tramp. The Material Girl has been a Ray of Light for—well—for a long time, now! Barbra Seville throws her fab MDNA Party that’ll have you burnin’ up for her love. The sticky & sweet Venus D-Lite will perform and there’s Madonna music all night and a Madonna Wannabe contest. It all happens Tuesday, October 16 at the Monarch Theatre at 122 E. Washington St. See ad on p. 40

Cocktoberfest at Dick’s You won’t find a beer garden, pretzels or any “oompaoompa” accordion music here. It’s better than that! It’s Cocktoberfest! There’s a Harvest Moon, and wait ‘til you see the size of the zucchini crop! Tons of prizes, giveaways and $2 Lap Dances from 7 p.m.-1 a.m. Schnell! It all happens Fri.-Sat, October 19 & 20. 3432 E. Illini, Phoenix. Phone: 602-274-DICK See ad on p. 120 22

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Halloween Parties Boo! For the scariest trick or treating around check out ION Arizona! It’s your guide to the best parties at all of your favorite bars and clubs all over in Phoenix and Tucson! Get ready for amazing costume contests, performances, drag shows!

All That Glitters Gala Celebrate everything our community has accomplished! “All That Glitters” is a gala benefit for the 1 Voice LGBT Community Center on Saturday, November 3 at the Crowne Plaza Airport at 4300 E. Washington St. Doors open at 6 p.m. Visit 1VCC. org for more info. See ad on p. 104

OCTOBER 2012 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE Mondays Mondays Thursdays 6-7 6 6 11-13 12-11/4 12-14 12 13-12/1 13 13 14 16 19-20 20 29

EVENT LOCATION Drag Race viewing party Apollo’s Retrolution Dance Party Club Congress Opti Cub Club Congress Rainbows Festival Weekend Heritage Square Leather Rummage Sale Anvil Karamba 8th Anniversary Karamba Pride in the Desert Downtown Tucson AZ State Fair State Fairgrounds Tucson Meet Yourself Norteño Band Karamba Hellraisers Flag Football Colter Park OUTFEST IBT’s & Woody’s Italian Buffet Fundraiser OZ Bar AIDS Walk - downtown Jacome Plaza Barbra Seville’s Madonnathon Monarch Theatre Cocktoberfest Dick’s Cabaret Devil Demo Night Anvil Scary Strip Show w/ Barbra Seville Charlie’s

CITY Phoenix Tucson Tucson Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Tucson Phoenix Tucson Phoenix Phoenix Tucson Phoenix Tucson Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix

NOVEMBER 3 4

All That Glitters: 1 Voice Gala Cook Phoenix

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Tucson Meet Yourself

Well, howdy do! «Enchanté!» ¡Mucho gusto! This festival introduces and presents the living traditional arts and expresions of everyday life of the folk and ethnic communities of the multicultural Arizona-Sonora region. It all takes place in various locations throughout Tucson Friday, October 12-Sunday, October 14. It’s a great way to finish Tucson AIDS Walk! For more info go to TucsonMeetYourself.org

Tucson AIDS Walk

Put on your walkin’ shoes, because it’s time for the 24th Annual AIDS Walk Tucson, providing support to Southern Arizona which provides services, housing, HIV testing and much more. This benefits the programs and services of the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation— SAAF. It happens in downtown Tucson on Sunday, October 14. You can sign up and raise money, too! Go to AIDSwalkTucson.org for info.

OUTFEST

Woody’s and IBT’s team up and join forces to bring you one fantabulous party on Saturday, October 13! You won’t want to miss the ultimate “Heathers” Raja and Delta Work from RuPaul’s Drag Race performing at IBT’s. Limited seating available, so reserve your seat now. Jet over to Woody’s for their WETT party! $10 gets you a Fast Pass and you can skip the lines! Work it, girls!

Manhunt Parties

If you’re looking to “order in” or for “take out” you’ll need Manhunt for your menu for an appetizer, main dish and dessert! It’s Wett & Wild Weekend with Manhunt memberships, giveaways and more! Kick off Pride poolside on Friday October 12 at Riverpark Inn, 350 S. Freeway. Come to Woody’s for a Manhunt underwear party hosted by Miss Mandi Boom Boom on Saturday, October 13. 3710 N. Oracle. Phone: 520-292-3702 WoodysAZ.com

Halloween at IBT’s

For a “spooktacular” Halloween, IBT’s is the place to be for their “Dragula Halloween Dance Party!” The prettiest ghoul in town, Janée Starr hosts a super-spooky drag show at 9 p.m. on Wednesday, October 31. Enjoy dancing and enter the costume contest at midnight with $1,000 first prize—in real American money! 616 N. 4th Ave. Phone: 520-882-3053. IBTsTucson.com

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Butter

I

f you’re anything like most ION Arizona readers, you’ve spent the better part of the last six months putting together the elaborate, expensive costume you plan to wear this Halloween, which—if you’re anything like most ION Arizona readers—you realize is a sizable investment since you have a huge list of parties to attend. Still, Halloween is a wonderful holiday and one worth celebrating, so to get you, gentle reader, into the festive mood, I’m handing out “fun-size” movie previews. So trick or treat, bitches!

Hotel Transylvania Starring (voices of): Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Steve Buscemi Just out of the crypt is this animated cartoon corpse! The Count is a fancy hotelier in the “off season.” But what happens when a mortal boy from discovers the resort—and Dracula’s teenage daughter? It ain’t Twilight. Thank god. Release Date: 9/28

Starring: Jennifer Garner, Ty Burrell, Alicia Silverstone, Olivia Wilde, Kristen Schaal Black comedy about a woman (Garner) whose ego is so closely tied to maintaining her husband’s title as champion butter carver, that she makes herself vulnerable to having it carved up by her competition…just like butter. Release Date: 10/05

Frankenweenie

Starring (voices of): Charlie Tahan, Winona Ryder, Martin Landau, Catherine O’Hara Director, Tim Burton, forgoes reimagining the work of other writers and provides an electrifying reboot of his own 1984 short film that stitches together elements of both Frankenstein and Pet Cemetery. Release Date: 10/05

Seven Psychopaths

Starring: Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken, Sam Rockwell A struggling screenwriter (Farrell) finds inspiration to finish his screenplay when his quirky cohorts inadvertently thrust him head-first into LA’s underground criminal culture when they steal a gangster’s most prized possession: his dog. Release Date: 10/12/2012

Paranormal Activity 4

Starring: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman Scary, until you realize it’s only a movie… or is it? (Hint: it is.) Release Date: 10/19 October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 31


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Madonna Once upon a time, waaay back in the 80s there was a little girl who shocked America and even the Pope with her wild ways and dirty dancing. Well, now seemingly ageless Madge is all grown up and still shocks us—for lots of different reasons. Catch the Bottle Blonde of the Century on Tuesday, October 16 at the US Airways Center, 201 E. Jefferson St. Phoenix. If you’re lucky enough to get tix call visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000. Express yourself!

So You Think You Can Dance? And we ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the Charleston, either! Catch those terpsichorean hotshots from the hit ABC show when the latest cast does a grand jeté into the Comerica Theatre on 400 W. Washington St. on Saturday, October 28. For tix visit LiveNation.com or call 602-379-2888

Alanis Morissette Remember that angry, crunchy Canadian girl who sang about rain on a wedding day and blowing some guy in the back of a theatre? Well, she’s still angry and she’s coming to town! Catch Alanis Morissette at the Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. on Thursday, November 1. If you’re mad as hell, get your tickets at TicketMaster. com or call and give ‘em a piece of your mind—and credit card number—at 602-379-2888

OCTOBER 2012 ION Concert Calendar DATE ARTIST LOCATION 5 Melissa Etheridge Wild Horse Pass Casino 9 The Black Keys Comerica Theatre 16 Madonna U.S. Airways Center 17 Brad Paisley Ashley Homestore Pavilion 21 Carrie Underwood Jobing.com Arena 26 The Temptations Wild Horse Pass 26 Cowboy Mouth Talking Stick Resort 27 KNIX Fest w/ Dierks Bentley Ak-Chin Casino, Maricopa 28 So You Think You Can Dance Tour Comerica Theatre NOVEMBER 11/1 Alanis Morissette Comerica Theatre 11/2 Dayglow: Life in Color Tucson Arena 11/4 Eddie Vedder Comerica Theatre

PHONE 877-840-0457 602-379-2888 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 877-840-0457 800-745-3000 800-745-3000 602-379-2888 602-379-2888 800-745-3000 602-379-2888

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SUMMER MELTDOWN

PHOENIX PL ACE HOTEL

MIDTOWN PHOENIX

Come see what we’re all about with one month of fRee SWImmInG! Visit us online for swim locations, swim times and to find out more about the Sunfish.

www.phxsunfish.org Support the Sunfish at Pride, April 21-22, by visiting our Beverage Booth! October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 37


Meet me at the Fair! Where else can you play Whack-A-Mole,

see prize winning Appenzeller Chickens, loop-de-loop on over 75 rides on the midway—have you ever made out at the top of the Ferris Wheel? It’s hot!—and eat snacks served “on-a-stick” at any of the 110 food booths? The Arizona State Fair started in 1884 as a “Territory Fair,” and it’s now one of the top five state fairs in the country. More than a million visitors are drawn to this attraction yearly. It runs from October 12-November 4 this year. Take advantage of the great deals and discounts! Get an Adult Season Pass for $18. You can get this for a limited time only. Check out other amazing deals, like Unlimited Ride wristbands, online at AZStateFair.com. Cricket Wireless is the exclusive retail location for the new FastPass discount offer. Get $5 off your front-of-line FastPass, regularly $25, and experience more rides on any day of the Fair. Coupon available only at participating Cricket Wireless locations. You can use the free “Park & Ride Shuttle” at the State Capitol or $5 parking at the 20th Ave. parking lot. The Fair is closed Mondays and Tuesdays. The Arizona State Fair! What a deal! All this and Funnel Cake, too! At the same place, at the same time! See you there! And did you want entertainment? Catch showbiz greats in the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum. General admission seating is FREE with Fair admission on a first come, first served basis. Primo reserved seats are available through TicketMaster.com or by calling 800-745-3000. Separate Fair admission is required.

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Weezer Who hasn’t laughed and cried at the same time to “Undone: The Sweater Song”? This frathouse favorite alt-rock band since 1992 has nine albums under their belt now, and they’ll be in their “Buddy Holly” finest in the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum on Sunday, October 14 at 7 p.m.

Adam Lambert Whataya want from him? American Idol’s runner-up superstar is a smashing platinum blonde now! Pop/ Rock’s bad boy is packing up his eyeliner and heading for the Arizona State Fair on Wednesday, October 17 at 7 p.m. This is one show you won’t want to miss. Don’t worry about “Trespassing” because he’s here “For Your Entertainment.”

Karmin Sweethearts Amy Heidemann and her super-cute beau Nick (Louis) Noonan are the darling duo behind “Karmin.” Besides their top 20 hit “Brokenhearted,” their infectious covers on YouTube made them a sensation garnering fans around the world! Pack up some extra fun, because they’re performing at 7 p.m. on October 25.

ARIZONA STATE FAIR CONCERTS + EVENTS DATE 13 14 17 18 19 20 21 24 25 26 27 28 1 2 3

ARTIST TICKET PRICE Billy Currington Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 Weezer Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 Adam Lambert Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 Mavericks Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 John Fogerty Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 Nas Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 Prince Royce Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 Jane’s Addiction Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 Karmin Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 Jerrod Nieman &Jana Kramer Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 Korn Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 Arizona Derby Dames FREE with State Fair Admission Sublime with Rome Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 Old School Jam Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 Zendaya Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15

TIME 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 5 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. 8 p.m. 7 p.m.

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7pm - 2am

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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New?

C

heck out new stuff from Mumford & Sons, Jackie Evancho, Beth Orton, Taylor Swift, Barbra Streisand, Mika, Brandy, Anberlin and Shiny Toy Guns.

No Doubt

Push & Shove On their sixth studio album and first since 2001, Gwen and company are back. Though gone is the hip “OC” sound we’ve grown to love, this new-found electro pop screams current and commercial. Overall it’s less quirk and more harmony, less punk and more dance. Initial single “Settle Down” proves safe and somewhat tepid while the Diplo influenced title track ups the ante and gives fans what we’ve grown to love: a cross of ska, punk and fun! However, it’s with “Sparkle” where this band shines brightest in the essence of No Doubt. GRADE: B-

Tori Amos

Gold Dust After 20 years in the biz, Tori goes back to her roots and channels Little Earthquakes once again. After finding success on the Deutsche Grammophon label, Amos combines her style with classical aspects to create sweeping, beautiful and emotional orchestral movements on all 14 tracks. Though not a huge departure from the originals; this album is merely supported with layered strings and lush landscapes. “Jackie’s Strength” and “Flavor” get the best transformation while “Winter,” “Cloud on my Tongue”

and “Precious Things” all sound brilliant. GRADE: A-

Muse

2nd Law Where Resistance was lush, Law ends up being raw. This album channels elements of David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Queen and some U2. In a strange comparison, it’s almost electronic, but created with real instruments. Though it does take some time to seduce you, the album as a whole screams arrogance, but eventually lures you in. The Olympic theme “Survival” is a good intro to this sets new direction while “Madness” further showcases this new found stripped style of techno-rock. As expected, the set finishes with pompous, orchestral elements that actually work very well. GRADE: B

Ellie Goulding

Halcyon Though not a household name in America, Ellie is a superstar in the U.K. However, after the success of “Lights” here in the U.S., this album should launch her career stateside. On her sophomore effort, Ellie goes darker, real and more emotional. In essence, it’s less “chirpy” and more “poppy.” Lead single “Hangin’ On” proves just ok while “Anything Could Happen” takes it up a notch with its hook and catchy refrain. “My Blood” is, perhaps, this sets standout track while the pulsating “Only You” comes a close second. For those needing a sentimental journey, find solace in “I Know You Care.” Grade: B+ October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 41


SEDONA / VERDE VALLEY PRIDE

O L D

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C O T T O N W O O D


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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

Katy Perry: Part of Me (2012)

Starring: Katy Perry (mostly), Russell Brand (barely). Marketed as a “part-biopic, part-concert film”, Katy Perry’s documentary, Katy Perry: Part of Me, largely focuses on her 2011 international tour California Dreams to promote her sophomore, multi-platinum album, Teenage Dream. In between footage of colorful, choreographed stage performances of many of her hits, we are invited to take a look backstage at the inner workings of bringing such a vibrant, energetic show to fans across the globe. Besides meeting the loyal crew that helps her realize her vision, we also get a glimpse into who “Katy Perry” is when she’s not a global superstar. Perry got her start as a gospel singer before transitioning to pop as a late teen. A prolific songwriter and guitarist, she was picked up—and subsequently dropped—by a couple of record labels before finding a home at the newly formed Capitol Music Group, where her star immediately began to rise. Yet for all her wild success and acclaim, Perry is still very human and juggling her burgeoning career with her fledgling marriage to Russell Brand invariably takes its toll. You may pick up Katy Perry: Part of Me to watch the bubblegum, eye candy fun of her concerts, but you’ll remember it for her humanity. Available on DVD and Blu-Ray.

Perry’d with Children Desperate

Housewives: The Eighth and Final Season Starring: Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria Faithful fans of the cheeky prime time soap opera, Desperate Housewives will recall that Season 7 ended up a bit of a cliffhanger when the ladies of Wisteria Lane all conspired to do the neighborly thing and help Gabrielle Solis (Longoria) bury a body—specifically, her abusive stepfather’s. Season 8 finds the women struggling with their guilt over the entire affair (despite having done much worse throughout the series) and confronting another mystery that bears a striking resemblance to the one that galvanized them during Season 1: a menacing note bearing the same missive, verbatim, that prompted their one-time close associate, Mary Alice, to off herself has now been sent to Bree Van de Kamp (Cross), the heir apparent to the “Bake It Until You Make It” Empire. As is wont to happen on that idyllic suburban street over the course of the final season, the bodies pile up and the women— presumably fed up with all their friends and neighbors kicking the bucket—end up leaving. It’s just as well; the lion’s share of the audience moved on long ago. Available on DVD. October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 45


Sample some of the finest wines produced right here in Arizona!

Many Arizona wineries will be on hand with their delicious wines. Enjoy soothing entertainment, learn helpful wine tips and try your “feet� at a grape stomp taking place at 2pm. Flights of five wines just $10. Visit azstatefair.com/wine for updates. 46

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PoeFest Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.” Well, sometimes “occasionally.” Set in an asylum for the criminally insane, The Arizona Curriculum Theater presents the works of creepy 19th century American writer Edgar Allan Poe like you’ve never seen them before. These are not readings; the words of Poe are brought to life with chilling reality October 5-6 at the Hotel San Carlos, 202 N. Central Ave. For info call 602-396-7422 or visit PoeFest.org

A Vampire Tale This is the annual “Nutcracker” of the Halloween season presented by the phenomenal Scorpius Dance Theatre. Dark, sinister and very, very sexy, this is the ninth consecutive presentation of the debauchery of the Living Dead—including thrilling aerial feats—is sure to thrill and seduce you. Presented weekends October 11-November 3 at the Little Theatre of Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. For tix visit ScorpiusDance.com or call 602-254-2151

Monty Python’s Spamalot! “What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Swallow?” You have to know these things when you’re king. Join King Arthur, brave Sir Robin, Lancelot and the kay-niggets of the Round Table in Monty Python’s Spamalot now through October 14 at Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. in Phoenix. Go to PhoenixTheatre.com or call 602-254-2151 for tickets and info. “Ni! Ni!”

OCTOBER 2012 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT 4-7 Underneath the Lintel 5-6 Lemon Andersen 5-6 PoeFest 5-7 Joe Rogan 5-28 The Music Man thru 7 Agony & Ecstasy of Steve Jobs 11-11/3 A Vampire Tale 11-28 Next to Normal 12 Bill Engvall thru 14 Monty Python’s Spamalot 20 Smartest Man in the World 20 The Daily Show Tour 24-28 Interviews about Internet Dating 25-28 A Haunting We Will Go thru 27 Streetcar Named Desire

LOCATION PHONE iTheatre - Herberger 602-254-7399 ASU Gammage 480-965-3434 Hotel San Carlos 602-396-7422 StandUp Live-Phx 480-719-6100 Theatre Works 623-815-1791 Actors Theatre - Herberger 602-252-8497 Phoenix Theatre 602-258-1794 AZ Theatre Co. - Herberger 602-254-7339 Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 480-499-8587 Phoenix Theatre 602-254-2151 Mesa Arts Center 480-644-6500 Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 480-499-8587 Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 480-499-8587 Center Dance Co. - Herberger 602-254-7339 Scotts. Desert Stages 480-483-1664 October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 47


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Miss Goddess Apollo’s Pageant Who’s got the beauty? The talent? The hunger? Who will be the next Miss Goddess Apollo’s? Yep! It’s a pageant! Watch the best queens in town battle it out for the crown. They’ll also honor Grecia Montes D’Occa, Miss Goddess Apollo’s and Miss Phoenix Gay Pride 2012. The magic happens on Friday, October 19 at 9:30 p.m. The new goddess will be celebrated at the weekly review on Sunday, October 21 at 7 p.m. 5749 N. 7th St. Phone: 602-277-9373. See ad p. 5

OCTOBER 2012 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME Fri 5 10:00pm Sat 6 Sun 7 7:00pm Mon 8 + 15 9:30pm Fri 12 10:00pm Sat 13 Sun 14 7:00pm Sun 14 10:30p, Sun14 7:00pm Wed 17 9:30pm Fri 19 9:30pm Sat 20 9:30pm Sun 21 7:00pm Mon 22 7:00pm Fri 26 10:00pm Sat 27 9:30pm Sun 28 7:00pm Mon 29 7:00pm Wed 31 9:00pm Wed 31 9:00pm 11/4 7:00pm

LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) The Rock Apocalypz with Pandora DeStrange & GoGo Berlynn Karamba Ruby, Diamond, and Savannah Host Karamba’s 8th Anniversary The Rock Hypno-Booty Apollo’s Drag Bingo The Rock Delta Work & Raja at Juke Joint Woody’s & IBT’s OUTFEST with Delta Work & Raja The Rock Delta Work & Raja at U betta Work Karamba Diamond’s 8th Anniversary Apollo’s Tequila Nights with Tyra & Grecia Charlie’s Claudia B’s Rocky Horror Show Night Apollo’s Miss Goddess Apollos Pageant Charlie’s Witches Ball with Pussy LeHoot - Prize for Best Witch Apollo’s Miss Goddess Apollos Revue Show Apollo’s Rupaul All-Star Viewing Party / Drag Bingo The Rock Scandaleyez with Savannah Stevens Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show presents Haunted Hollywood Apollo’s Neveah Loves Coco with Neaveah McKenzie and Coco St. James Apollo’s RuPaul All-Star Viewing Party/ Drag Bingo The Rock The Voodoo Revue with The Gender Outlaws & Celia Putty IBT’s Dragula Haloween Spooktacular The Rock Miss Rock Pageant

WEEKLY SHOWS Mondays 10:00pm Mondays 10:00pm Wednesdays 9:00pm Wednesdays 9:00pm Wednesdays 10:30pm Wednesdays 10:00pm Thursdays 10:30pm Fridays 10:00pm Fridays 9:00pm Fridays 10:30pm Fridays 9:00pm Saturdays 9:00pm Saturdays 10:30pm Saturdays 10:00pm Saturdays 10:00pm Saturdays 9:30pm 1st & 3rd Sun. 12:30pm Sundays 8:30pm Sundays 10:30pm

Charlie’s Apollo’s IBT’s The Rock Karamba Charlie’s Karamba Woody’s IBT’s Cruisin’ 7th BS West IBT’s Cruisin’ 7th The Rock icepics Charlie’s Cruisin’ 7th Charlie’s Karamba

Barbra Seville w/ Strippers! Naughty or Nice Bingo Viva La Diva with Janee Star Open Wide Wednesdays Girls of Karamba - Adrian Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste Montiel Claudia B. & Company Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds T.D.I.F. (Thank DiVa It’s Friday!) Absolutely Flawless with China Collins Miss Dottie Pepper Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers Starrletts with Janee Star The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams The Barbra Seville Show The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan Pussy’s Patio Show Sunday Morning Madness with Miss Dottie Pepper Pussy LeHoot & Friends Diamond’s Show October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 49


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Angels Trumpet Ale House

Gabriel, blow your horn! Just make

sure it’s at Angels Trumpet Ale House, the cunning, new contemporary tavern in the heart of the Roosevelt District that opened in August serving up a thoughtful menu of noshes and specialty craft beers. “Was ist los in das Gasthaus?” You must be asking. We’ll tell you what’s going on. Husband and wife team Mat and Sharry Englehorn (Get it? Englehorn = Angels Trumpet. Neat, huh?) decided it was time to reinvent their lives, transforming Mat’s former real estate office into a pub. Not your ordinary, darkly lit pub serving up mountains of fish ‘n’ chips and bangers and mash. Nein! The young wünderkind at the stove is the talented Xane Brody who cut his culinary chops at The Grind. Sharry and Xane created the toothsome menu together.

will go crazy for the Meat Treat, with pepperoni, peppered bacon, salami, sausage, leeks, smoked mozzarella and roasted tomato sauce. Other pizzas are artistically created, like the Tractor, with egg, bacon, Brussels sprouts, caramelized onion and cheese. These mouthwatering, hefty 10” pies hover around the $10 mark with add-ons for $2 each. You can even add Spam! If you’d like something that’s rootin’ tootin’ and served on a bun, Angels Horn has three on the menu. Choose a burger of grilled ground beef cooked to order, smoked pork burger, a grilled chicken breast or scrambled eggs. You’ve got a Good Ol’ Fashioned with pickled red onion an arugula with a variety of cheeses to choose from, the Southwest with grilled chili peppers, Chihuahua cheese and adobo sauce or a hearty ‘Shroom Stroganoff takes a

Start off with a flight of their tasty brewskies! Enjoy a generous sampling of six for $9. Choose from 31 kinds of porters, stouts, ales, pilsners, and on and on! The Pizza Flatbread stands out with five to choose from, plus a seasonal pizza. Carnivores October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 53


twist on the Russian masterpiece, topping our patty with a ladle full of cream of mushroom, Swiss cheese and a dollop of sour cream. You’ll say, “Spasibo!” That’s Russian for “Thank you.” Each “bun-wich” is only $9 and served with your choice of fries, a delicious cole slaw with cranberry craisins, or ribbon chips. The housemade ketchup from the Angels Horn kitchen (or catsup if you’re fancy) hits a high note with us. Order two ramekins of this amazing sauce. You’ll want to order a bowl of it and eat it like soup, it’s that delicious. “Give me a home, where the buffalo roam ...” If you’re in a sausage kind of mood (and who isn’t?) you’ll feel right at home with the Bison BLT in a Blanket. You’ll get a Bison meat hotdog (and Bison is a lot lower in cholesterol, lower in calories and much lower in fat, too, without sacrificing any flavor.) wrapped in warm flatbread topped with bacon, seasonal greens, tomato and housemade mayonnaise. If you want something extra special try their own “Hanky on a Shingle.” You’ll

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go “baa-baa”-barmy for this tender, mild, chipped lamb topped with that rich ‘n’ creamy cream of mushroom on Texas toast as big as the state itself, served with fries (and don’t forget that ketchup!) and seasonal vegetables. Make sure this is served piping hot for max taste. Our veggies consisted of fresh green beans, coined carrots and—get this—sliced parsnips! Who knew parsnips were so effing good? We hope they’re always in season! All this for $11. You’ll be sorry if you don’t end your repast with their unique, housemade “Pop Tarts.” These ain’t from Kellogg’s, kids! Each flaky pastry is filled with a seasonal fruit jam and drizzled with a keen vanilla glaze. Angels Horn features a Sunday Brunch that looks, well, like a bit of heaven on earth. Angels Trumpet Ale House has something they can toot their own horn about. 810 N. 2nd St. 602-252-2630 Tues-Thurs: 11a.m.-11 p.m. Fri-Sat: 11 a.m.-midnight Sunday Brunch: 10 a.m.-3 p.m. AngelsTrumpetAleHouse.com


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COOK Phoenix is a chance to sample culinary creations from many of Phoenix’s finest restaurants, and vote on your favorite restaurant while enjoying live entertainment, a festive atmosphere and live cooking demonstrations by celebrity chefs! COOK raises funds to help fund HRC’s efforts to ensure a nation where every citizen is treated equally, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. 56

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General Admission: $25 includes admission to the event, unlimited food tastings and an annual HRC membership. VIP Admission: $100 includes admission to the event, unlimited food tastings, complimentary non-alcohol/alcohol beverages all day, and an annual HRC membership. Tickets can be purchased online at www.hrc.org/COOKPhoenix



Diva or Darling? Johnny Weir does a triple-toe loop just for ION

“I’m Here.

I’m Weir.

Get into it.

by Deon Brown

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T he gifted, talented, stylish and renowned enfant terrible of figure

skating, Johnny Weir skates back on to television for the second season of his reality show/docu-series Be Good Johnny Weir. Sometimes called the “Lady Gaga of Figure Skating,” for his spectacular, if not controversial costumes and routines, Johnny’s skating and artistry never fails to dazzle and entertain audiences around the world—and even beyond— he even has an asteroid named after him. Titillated journalists and fans everywhere are fascinated with Johnny’s glamorous furs, costumes, life and sometimes, yes, even his notorious tantrums. US Weekly magazine even reported what Johnny keeps in his fab Hermès Birkin bag in their “What’s In My Bag?” feature. Now, John Garvin “Johnny” WeirVoronov is 28-years-old and married attorney Victor Voronov on New Year’s Eve, 2011. The two-time Olympian, three-time U.S. National Figure Skating Champion, two time Grand Prix Final bronze medalist and a

World Medalist is settling down as he trains for his third—and last—Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia in 2014. Johnny spoke to ION Arizona about his TV show, married life, his wardrobe— and why he still won’t take shit from anybody. ION: Tell us about your show. JW: The first season was very much the life of a competitive athlete and going to the Olympics, trials and tribulations and the day to day struggles that I faced. It wasn’t glamorous, it wasn’t Kardashianed at all. The second season is a little bit more outrageous. I had two years off, I can drink on a Wednesday if I want to. Do whatever I want, try whatever I want, write my book, plan a big skating Cirque du Soleil moment, sing a song. This season was definitely geared toward my popularity and the sort of famous life I’ve led. I was really nervous how people would react to seeing two polar opposite Johnny Weirs. ION: You’ve described yourself as an introvert. How do you reconcile this with having your own reality TV show? JW: It’s kinda like Beyoncé. When she goes on stage she becomes “Sasha Fierce.” When people are looking at me, when the cameras are on, when I’m performing, I know how to turn it on. I know the inner “Sasha Fierce” I have inside me. At home I’m very quiet, I’m very organized, very OCD about cleaning—almost to insanity. I’m all about keeping everything small, quiet and clean. When I’m out in public I can be outrageous. I’m completely comfortable with who I am, which helps me be an entertainer, be a performer October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 59


and have a reality show and do all these wonderful things I’ve been blessed to do. ION: We’ve almost watched you grow up on ice. You still have a funny, almost childlike quality.

up in my head than he does. That says a lot for two young gay people with so many distractions. It definitely enhances my skating and makes me more confident that somebody loves me. ION: What do you wish more people knew about you that might surprise them?

JW: You know, on television JW: The and older I when I’m get—I’m having my still not so “Johnny old—but I Fierce” feel like with moments all the things in front of I’ve been able people I often to do and the times come sacrifices I’ve across a little bit Johnny & his husband made, growing stupid and a little Victor Voronov up very early, I still bit diva. I like my life to find it’s great to be silly, be exactly like I want it to to have people around you be, with no questions and I won’t can ‘play’ with. You have to have that settle for anything differently—I don’t adolescent style. If you’re uncomfortable find that ‘diva’—I think that’s a human being you it’s very easy to get stuffy, to right. I wish people would think of me get scared and to always say the right more as a clever person; somebody thing and do the right thing; that’s never that’s not all about Birkin bags, furs, been me. Me being childlike and silly is sparkles and skating to pretty music a huge part of my personality and how and doing what is known as one of the I’ve been able to stay sane over the Gayest sports ever. I wish people would years. see me more as what I see myself as: a ION: How’s married life? very normal, toned-down person. I don’t do my hair and makeup every day. But JW: It’s an incredible balance to my I’m happy to give them everything that profession and being an entertainer. they want out of Johnny Weir. It’s so grown up! He’s strong, he’s intelligent, he’s smart. He balances me ION: You’ve accomplished quite a very well. I’m more emotional, more bit on an impressive Bucket List: creative and I’ve got a little more crazy A TV show, a book, Fashion Week, 60

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The Rachel Zoe Project, voice overs, a photoshoot for MAC Cosmetics. What’s next? JW: I think the sky’s the limit. I’m training again. My goal is to compete in my third Olympics. Right now I’ve kind of given up a lot of my “pop” life—my celebrity happenings, my books, songs, photoshoots and things—so I can train everyday. I’m a bit old for competitive figure skating and getting a bit long in the tooth. I’m going on this journey to show my fans that anything is possible. You can be 50 and have a baby. You can be an old, has-been figure skater and come back refreshed, revitalized and new. You can do anything you want in life. After Sochi, I’ll hang up my competitive skates and hopefully have my own company of skaters that go around the globe. The most important thing for me is to have fun with my life. If I want to try something and I know I’m going to fail— like cutting a single and not really being a singer. I have fun. That’s the most important thing. ION: You said that you weren’t always right in your choices. What was your best choice? The worst choice? JW: Best choice? Getting married. I completely surrendered to ‘Jesus taking the wheel,’ as they say. Taking the shields down. You don’t live without building armor around yourself. Even my

sport has gotten stronger by allowing myself that moment of weakness. The worst choice? I wear some really wrong clothes. I love fashion, I love being avant garde and crazy, but I’ll see a picture and the makeup is completely wrong, the clothes are a disaster. But I stand behind them! I love my mistakes! It makes it even better! But, really, I judge people and I attack people for no real reason. I’m trying to be better as I get older. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a background. Homeless people don’t just become homeless. There’s always a story and you can’t judge people, you have to try to know them as person. That’s definitely my biggest mistake. I’ve lost out on a lot of really great experiences because of that. ION: In your autobiography you said that with all of your adventures and catastrophes, that you’re in “the kiss and cry of my life.” JW: I never wanted to put competitive skates on again. I never wanted to be in front of judges again. I felt at the last Olympics I did the best I could and that still wasn’t good enough to win a medal. Despite that I’ve turned myself back into this torturous world for no other reason than vanity. I want to work hard; I want to show people


don’t have is selfconfidence. I realize all of my strengths, but more importantly I recognize all of my weaknesses. That creates a comfortable cocoon that I float around in everyday. I don’t take shit from anybody. That strength has pulled me through. So many times where I could’ve crumbled and said, ‘I can’t do this anymore,’ Growing up as a very, very Gay kid in high school, there are so many times when I could’ve said, “We need to find a way to change who you are to make other people happy.” The fact that I don’t care if I make people happy is something I wouldn’t trade for a million crocodile Birken bags. what it is that made me me. I don’t want to be this reality star that writes cookbooks and makes singles and has a t-shirt line—while that would be nice and beneficial. Every moment is a “kiss and cry.” Every moment is that moment when you’re sitting there and having that last fabulous, glorious moment of sheer bliss. That’s how life should be lived. It shouldn’t be torturous. It should be that moment when you’re sitting there either kissing or crying. ION: What’s the best part of being Johnny Weir? JW: Having met a lot of people. A lot of random people. A lot of struggling people. A lot of successful people. The one thing I have that a lot of people

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ION: If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be and why? JW: Everyone always says the ability to fly. But I fly a lot, and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. My superpower would be to teleport! To go from one place to another with the snap of the finger—like Bewitched. No luggage. It would make life a lot easier and a lot more luxurious. Like Astro Boy. That’s what I would want to look like. Watch Be Good Johnny Weir on LOGO every Monday night at 10 p.m. PST on Cox Channel 159. For full episodes visit LOGOtv.com


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by Britany Pennington

“TOO PRETTY TO BE GAY” A STORY FOR NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY

I’m Britany, and I’m a 23-year-old part time model for MTV and a makeup artist for a spa. I am a Lesbian and have been “out” since I was 14-years-old. Growing up, I had a rough childhood and when

people hear about it they like to say that my tough experiences have led me to this “lifestyle.” It’s funny that people like to put an excuse on why people are homosexual—as if there should be a reason to love someone. Love is an emotion that you feel and I believe October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 67


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you cannot choose who you love. I knew I was attracted to girls before any traumatic experiences in my life occurred. I was so young; I didn’t even know what a Gay person was, but I knew I had an attraction to girls instead of boys. I thought something was wrong with me and was scared to tell anyone about the way I felt. Once I got into my teens I started to learn and understand about homosexuality. I was in denial and also I was very scared for my family to find out. Coming out was a very hard experience and I dealt with a lot of discrimination from my family. That’s why I can never understand why people would say I “chose” to be like this. If it was a choice, I would have been Straight. Life would have been a lot easier that way. Through the years my family has grown to accept me more and now my relationship with them is stronger then ever. My girlfriend Sally and I have decided to get a domestic partnership and declare our love in a commitment ceremony. When my girlfriend told her mom on the phone, one of the first things her mom said was, “Well, it won’t be legal,” as if the whole meaning of committing yourself to someone should be about whether it’s legal or not. The ignorance in society saddens me and every day I hear ignorant comments from people telling me I’m “too pretty to be Gay,” or I “haven’t had a guy give it to me right” or I’m “confused.” I am proud of who I am and who I love and no matter how many times I’m told it’s not right to love and be in love October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 69


with a woman; those feelings don’t just go away. Sally and I have been dealing with our own barriers while discussing getting married. That’s when I wanted to do a photoshoot kissing my girlfriend through a fence representing what it’s like being a homosexual couple and having barriers in your way. This shows our pride and that love has no boundaries. I really want people to see that love is something that cannot be stopped. Sometimes when a person speaks badly about Gay marriage it’s coming from the mouth of someone who has been divorced, and that’s sad. People should focus on what the meaning of marriage, even if it’s because some heterosexuals have ruined the meaning of it. Straight society should focus on the high divorce rate and try fixing that before preventing homosexuals from getting married. Either way, I can’t change society but any way I can show my pride and support love, I will do it. Sally and I will commit our love for each other and not for a legal document—we will be doing it because we’re in love. That’s what the true meaning of what marriage should be. Are you out and proud? Thursday, October 11 is National Coming Out Day. If you’re in the closet this is a great time to consider coming out to your friends, co-workers and your family. It’s not always easy. If you need help, visit your local GLBT Community Center or PFLAG Chapter. Good luck!

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PRESENTS

RAINBOWS FESTIVAL WEEKEND

Fernand

o Hernan

Saturday, October 6, 2012 11am DJ Kela 12pm Desert Overture 1pm Anaya Tribal 2pm Birthday Suit Burlesque 3pm Sisterzz Twisted 4pm Devinography Hip Hop Jam 5pm “Troubador Café” starring Kenyata White

Sunday, October 7, 2012 11am DJ Anthony 12pm Dawn Bowman 1pm Tracey Rappa & the Heat 2pm Freddy’s Spotlight @ Rainbows 2:20pm Phoenix Pride Royalty “Stop Blowin” 3pm 3:10pm Phoenix Heatwave 3:30pm Barbra Seville’s Phoenix Phollies

Special thanks to all of our sponsors!

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Be the diva! Respect yourself, don’t binge drink. Be Safe Out Learn more at: www.facebook.com/safeout This program is funded through Magellan Health Services of Arizona. 78

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Colby Melvin’s

Full Disclosure

(Well, Almost.)

by Deon Brown photos by Devin Mitchell video stills from FullFrontalFreedom.com 84 Deon www.IONAZ.com October 2012 by Brown


I

n case you haven’t noticed, it’s election time. And it’s a big one. An important one. We’re electing our President of the United States of America. People argue. Back and Forth. Pro and Con. Flip and Flop. But on the bright side, whether you’re Democrat or Republican (wait, scratch that), Libertarian, Independent or even a Tea Party member, (well, maybe not them either), just about everybody can get behind the video that went viral, “Disclosure,” from the scantily clad West Hollywood novelty Go-Go Boy Band called Wrong Direction with a catchy song parodying the controversial Romney campaign, set to the tune of One Direction’s hit, “That’s What Makes You Beautiful.” Speaking of beautiful, who can resist watching stunning, shimmying stars of WeHo’s celebrated boy boxes—many of them Andrew Christian underwear models—Colby Melvin, Quinn C. Jaxon, David Brackett, Brandon R. Brown, Johnathan Myers — all workin’ it poolside, Beverly Hills 90210 style? The faux “band’s” frontman Colby Melvin, 24, is a lot more than just a pretty face. And that’s a real pretty face, too. Raised in Breaux Bridge, Louisiana, Colby earned a college degree, then worked in Houston, Texas for British Petroleum. Colby’s gone from cleaning up the Gulf’s oil spills to the high life of the Hollywood Hills!

“I’m not necessarily passionate about elections, but what I am passionate about is equality,” Colby said. “This affects everybody. It affects things like marriage and giving blood. I believe in philanthropy and giving back when I can. I’ve had my own share of ups and downs. That’s why I want to get involved.” And not only is the easy-onthe-eyes Colby the toast of Tinseltown; when he’s not showing off his famous—umm— assets at West Hollywood’s fashionable watering hole, The Abbey, or hawking underwear for Andrew Christian, Colby is the spokesmodel for Full Frontal Freedom, who produced the hunktacular video. Not bad for a guy who just came out two years ago. The video producer Full Frontal Freedom is a coalition of independent artists and media executives who want to use talent and creativity to raise awareness and enhance civil discussion and engagement. Full Frontal Freedom is an independent progressive movement and they’re not affiliated with, endorsed or sponsored by any state campaign, anywhere. “We recognize that with creativity, innovation, passion and the power which comes from being on the right side of history, we can change hearts and minds in our favor,” said Conor Gaughan of Full Frontal Freedom. The testosterone-treat

October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 85


had 3.25 million views on YouTube at press time. “We’re thrilled and humbled with the success of Wrong Direction’s ‘Disclosure.’ It has struck a chord, and we’re glad that we could contribute to the discourse through our uniquely fun approach,” continued Conor. “We hope young voters are entertained, educated, and engaged enough to vote this November.” Phoenix photographer Devin Mitchell worked closely with Colby to create the “comic book” concept shown here to help encourage young people to register to vote and exercise their privilege because “voting is sexy.” “Seeing Colby’s video inspired me to make a ‘comic strip’ with him. He’s very in touch with what’s happening and likes to incorporate that into his image. He’s smart. He’s very aware of what’s going on around him,” Devin explained. “There’s something about Colby that inspires me; he needs no direction. Colby’s just as creative as he is

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intelligent. I always make it a point to take pictures of him whenever I’m in L.A.” After photographing some of the best of Phoenix’s own movers, shakers and bevies of beaux and beauties, Devinography recently expanded to Southern California market. “The coolest thing about working in L.A. is that you can just reach out and pick subject matter. It’s everywhere! My work is growing so much after starting only one year ago.” Visit FullFrontalFreedom.com for antiPAC information and remember to VOTE. Discover how you can get a glamorous image of “you.” Schedule an appointment with Devin Mitchell at Devinography.com Check out Colby Melvin because he’s, well, like, he’s Colby Melvin. Go to ColbyMelvin.com. Now! If you catch him at The Abbey, tell him ION sent you—and tip him. We won’t tell you who to vote for. That’s your decision. But stop and think about who’ll work for you while Overcoming Barriers Affecting Most of America.


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In Memoriam

Girard DeMuro Stylist, Son, Musician, Friend, Starmaker.

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Photos by Fernando Hernandez | Art by Tom King & Kevin Bushaw. Starring Miss Gay Arizona USofA Saellah V. & Miss Gay Arizona America Diva. Featuring Toby Yatso Costumes & Props provided by Easley’s Fun Shop - 509 West McDowell Road, Phoenix. Leather gear (on the cover) provided by The Antique Marketplace & Root Seller 3343 North 7th Avenue, Phoenix.


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A Midnight Snack Toby and the delicious Diva October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 93


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Lucky Number 13 Camp Counselor Diva better beware! It’s a slasher! Saellah V. makes murder look sexy. October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 95


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Shitagi Nashi School bullys (or muggers) are no problem for Diva! October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 97


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Psycho Drag Killer ”Saellah might’ve fooled me, but she didn’t fool my mother!” October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 99


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Army of Dragness Evil Saellah pounces on Toby, “You found me beatuful once!” October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 101



Watch Your Children Around Axes “Little Diva took an axe, and gave her mother 40 whacks. When Toby saw what she had done, she turned and gave him 41.” October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 103


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A-Doll-A-Makes-Me-Holla Look out, cuz this Diva doll will give you more than just a boo-boo, Honey! October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 105


Fangs For the Memories Sellah V. recalls the time when Victorian Vampires wore patterns like this historically accurate houndstooth.


B

eware! The last house on the left ... the psychopathic killer who escaped from the asylum ... that weird dude who sat next to you on the Light Rail last week. You’ll find all of these zombies, freaks, monsters and weirdos at haunted houses across the Valley and Tucson. Here’s a list of fright factories that’ll—well—scare the pants off of you.

13th Floor Haunted House - Phoenix Two epic, haunted attractions take you to shocking levels of graphic, intense, psychological thrills and horror. Yikes! 2814 W. Bell Rd., located in the Bell Canyon Pavilion Shopping Center behind Hooters at 1-17 and Bell Rd. Go to 13thFloorAZ.com for more.

Jack & Jill’s Haunted Hill - Phoenix The legendary couple was never heard from again once they stumbled upon an abandoned mine. Find out what happened at 4237 W. Thunderbird Rd. Go to JackandJillsHauntedHill.com for more thrills—if you dare.

Chambers of Fear Surprise Spine-chilling horror, including the Hillbilly Nightmare & Den of Darkness in over 25,000 square feet of terror with three haunted houses at one location. 11340 W. Bell Rd. Five minutes west of Arrowhead Mall. Go to Chambersoffear.com for more.

The Crypt & The Asylum - Mesa Two fright factories in one at Fiesta Mall. That’s pretty scary in itself! 1445 W. Southern Ave. in Mesa, off the US-60, at the Alma School Rd. exit. Go to HauntedAZ.com for details.

Dark Scares - Mesa You’ll get the screaming-meemies at this spot, featured at the Black Mirror Casino. Voted one of the Best Haunts by Arizona Foothills Magazine. 1601 N. Dobson Rd. near the Loop 202 At Mesa Riverview. Go to DarkScares.com for more bloodcurdling information, if you dare.

The Nest - Chandler The Legend of Killer Kell. ABC News and Good Morning America calls this venue the Spookiest Place in America. Experience the terror at Rawhide. 5700 W. North Loop Rd. Chandler. For hours, tickets, coupons and info, visit Frightened.com.

The Slaughter House - Tucson Tucson’s scariest! Fear and terror show no mercy here! You might wet your pants. Find uncontrolled mayhem at 1102 W. Grant Rd. Visit TheSlaughterhouseTucson. com for more hours & info. Scared? You should be!

Buckelew Farm: Terror in the Corn - Tucson Your worst nightmare: No, not Courtney Love. A dark, foggy cornfield in the middle of the night. You’ll be gasping for breath, scaredy-pants. 17000 W. Ajo Way. Go to BucklewFarm.com or call 520-822-2277. October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 107



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Totally Ripped “Ripper? I hardly know her!”


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Vol. 6, Issue 5

OCTOBER 2012

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

City Council Keeps Fluoride In Water. Adding Ecstasy Soon.

OUTRAGEOUS!

PHOENIX—In 1980 the City of Phoenix added fluoride to the water, reducing cavities by 20 to 40 percent and reducing unnecessary dental costs by $38 per resident per year. This action has been a huge disappointment to dentists across the Valley, as you can imagine.

mood-altering social drug Ecstasy to the city’s water supplies.” Ecstasy, or “molly” usually contains the chemical MDMA. This drug induces euphoria, a heightened sense of intimacy and diminished anxiety when taken. It is used in some psychotherapeutic settings as well as raves and dance parties.

OUTRAGEOUS! Over 1.4 million people are affected by the

ANY RESEMBLANCE THE IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL city’s fluoridated water at anTO annual costTRUTH to the city of about $600,000 annually. After a hotly contested debate whether to maintain fluoridation, the Phoenix City Council elected to retain the additive.

“As a matter of fact,” said one anonymous Phoenix City Council insider, “with the success of city residents’ dental hygiene due to fluoridation, we plan to add the synthetic

“We think Ecstasy will greatly curtail instances of domestic violence, murders, road rage and other violent confrontations,” explained one City Council member. “Overcrowding in the jails will just result in one big cuddle puddle.” Ecstasy will be introduced into the water supply at the cost of $38 per resident per year. Glow sticks and candy pacifiers are extra.

OUTRAGEOUS!

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I know mine.

W O KN S R YOU

Do you know yours?

Get tested.

swhiv.org/POKE A Project of

JOIN US AT RAINBOWS FESTIVAL - OCT 6 & 7 Additional Funding provided by Ryan White Parts A & C and Maricopa County Department of Public Health. Funding provided by the Federal Department of Health and Human Services Administration, the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Acot of 2009, the Maricopa October County Business 112 www.IONAZ.com 2012 Strategies and Health Care Programs Department and Maricopa Integrated Health System.


OUTRAGEOUS! Gay Haunted House Terrifies, Horrifies!

W. HOLLYWOOD — When the frost is on the pumpkin and Halloween comes, you can count on trick-ortreaters, ghost stories and lots of fake blood.

“Boo!” Oh no. These Gay goblins will scare you like you’ve never been scared before. And they don’t need costumes.

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

But in West Hollywood, America’s Gayest City, things are a little bit different. ANY RESEMBLANCE You won’t find any withered hags, old crones, or rotting corpses. You’ll find glamorous ghosts of long gone movie stars, fake Britney Spears wannabees and hunky boys dressed as, well, hunky boys.

TO THE TRUTH IS

“Girrrrl! Look at those Crocs! Where did you get those? Marshall’s?” one ghoul chided. “That dress looks TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL really good on ... on fire, that is!” goaded another mean spirit to an unwary visitor.

“It’s like nothing I’ve experienced before!” sobbed one frightened customer. “That bitch in there wearing Tom’s told me that my hair looked like it was done by someone at a VoTech school in Compton!” cried another.

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

But nothing is more spine-tingling and bone chilling than a Gay haunted house. WestRESEMBLANCE Hollywood has their first haunted ANY TOTO THE TRUTH IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL house on Fairfax Avenue. There will be “We find that reading someone scares the shit scary noises and sound effects—mostly out of ‘em a lot more than rattling chains,” coming from Liza Minnelli’s last album— said Chance Barlow-Baines, manager and and a wicked witch who looks remarkably part-time escort. “Bitch, you do not want to like today’s Madonna and decorated with come in here wearing Ed Hardy.” lots of Jonathan Adler pieces. The “spirits” who populate the Tinseltown fright factory The Fairfax Bitch Project is located at 628 called “The Fairfax Bitch Project” are N. Fairfax Ave. You think you can afford mostly out-of-work actors who wait tables admission? Look in your fake Gucci wallet or work at Pinkberry. But you won’t hear for a credit card that isn’t maxed out. them moaning and groaning or shouting,

OUTRAGEOUS!

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OUTRAGEOUS!

Druids Outraged Over “Innocence of OUTRAGEOUS! Oak Trees” Film.

OUTRAGEOUS!

STONEHENGE, Lord England — Vortigern Druidic priests’ (Bruce) has passions are a Facebook inflamed over page and an incendiary rounding up ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL film produced the other two and broadcast on Druids, Lady YouTube wherein Deersblood in large forests (Cindy Plogg) are cleared for and the Grand development Sorcerer by logging Fred (Alfred companies. Borroughs) Druids all over the from United Kingdom Bournemouth are calling for a religious war and a bounty to take the train up to historic site next on the person who created the film. Saturday where they will stage a recreation of what a Druid protest might have possibly “This is a slap in the face to Druids all beenISlike. Free Druid Mistletoe will be ANY RESEMBLANCE TOTO THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL over the world,” said Lord Vortigern, also offered to supporters. Apple cider available known as Bruce Cranston, 32, a postal with freewill donation. carrier. “I shall call on the great Goddess Abellio, protectress of the sacred apple Angus Maginty and his Randy Scotsmen will tree, to smite them!” There hasn’t been be performing at the Eelhouse Pub ‘n’ Grub a good smiting in southern England in at 7 p.m. No cover charge. several centuries. “This revolution will grow like a mighty oak tree from a tiny acorn! Even if it takes a hundred years. Hopefully not that long, however.”

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

OUTRAGEOUS!

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by Rob Hoffman robshof@aol.com

Ah, Halloween. The

most anti-sacred of days. I love it. Always have. Always will. I don’t know if it’s the dressing up or the taking on of a completely different persona, or getting away with something I couldn’t normally get away with on any other day, but something about Halloween is fabulous! When I was a child my mother bought boxed costumes for my sisters and me. My sisters, being twins, usually got the same costumes. One of my favorites was when my mom bought my sisters giant screaming baby masks that covered their whole bodies. My sisters always had better costumes than me. They got to be super spies with blond hair and pretty, blue capes. I was a crummy Indian with a headdress made out of cardboard. My sisters were ugly,

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green witches, complete with brooms and cauldrons for gathering goodies while out trick-or-treating. I was a ghost with a plastic sheet. My sisters were beatniks with long, flowing blond hair, black and white tights, berets and long cigarette holders. I was a goblin with a plastic mask and outfit that didn’t quite reach my knees. I envied my sisters on those long-ago Halloweens and I think that turned me into a true Halloween lover. When I went away to college I made it a point to come up with a breathtaking costume for the annual costume party. One year I transformed myself into a skeletal zombie complete with long, stringy black hair, white skin and six inch black fingernails. Another year I dressed up as Colonel Mustard from the board game “Clue”—complete with books from


the conservatory, the lead pipe, and Mr. Body in tow. And yet another year, I was a jack-in-the-box, with a hand-crank that played music before I popped out. I won “Best Costume” all three of those years. God, I was so queer. After I graduated from school I didn’t have much of an opportunity to dress up. Oh, sure, the bar I frequented had an annual costume party, but I was more interested in hooking up than dressing up, so I only dressed up a couple of times, once as a witch with green skin and a nose-wart (I think I was harking back to the year my sisters were witches and I was so green with envy), and once as a werewolf, with brown hair growing out of my face, on my hands and through the holes in my jeans. No one recognized me, and no one wanted to hook up with me either time. After those couple of excursions in the world of Gay-bar costuming, I gave it up to concentrate on finding someone to spend the night with. More often than not, back in those days, I was successful. Once again, I’d abandoned my love of dress-up. Of course, I’d find that groove again later when I started my Halloween drag phase....but that’s a story for another time. And another shade of eyeshadow. _ Robert Hofmann is the author of three books, Surrounded by Insanity, An Ordinary Madness, and his latest, One Brain Cell Away from Retarded. He lives in Wilton Manors, Florida, with his partner of 16 years and welcomes email from readers at robshof@aol.com.

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IBT’s

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by Addison DeWitt

E

xtra! Extra! Read all about it! Or not. Everybody’s favorite Facebook PinUp Boy and this July’s ION Arizona cover dish Trevor Grant (pictured, top) celebrated a birthday for his first score of years (that translates into 20) at Scottsdale’s Club Afterlife recently. That means an entire club of young whippersnappers jacked up on Big Gulps of Pepsi and Skittles with their burgeoning, out-ofcontrol hormones crowded into a club with lots of requisite squealing and shrieking as they fêted the burgeoning, out-of-control Trevor. I could almost smell the baby powder in the air. Well, that and the overpowering smell of Axe Body Spray. So you can imagine that it was a lot like throwing live bait into a school of starving sharks with people like me there. Okay. So I was actually the only one “like me” there. You can imagine that before/during/ after the soirée there was a frenzied rash of Facebook postings with lots of “LOL’s” and emoticons, plus lots of commentary and eye-rolling from Trevor’s fabulous (and extremely tolerant) mother. You can’t buy this kind of entertainment, folks. Believe me, I’ve tried. Unfortunately there are laws preventing it.

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Here’s to the next score of years of Trevor “liking” his own Facebook posts, “duckface” pictures and his exasperated mother commenting, “Trevor!” Word on the street has it that the darling Edward Castro, our own King of the Queens, just may be harboring a crush on one of the baristas at the Starbucks on 7th Street and Missouri. Edward, how many Venti 1 pump caramel, 1 pump white mocha, 2 scoops vanilla bean powder, extra ice macchiato with 2 shots poured over the top (apagotto style) with caramel drizzle under and on top of the whipped cream, double-cupped have you been ordering there to keep that boy busy? Red Alert! Red Alert! Do not go to Christown Mall if you’re wearing flip-flops. For the second time in about a year while Barbra Seville was shopping as Richard Stevens (pictured middle) in one of their finer retail establishments (e.g. Walmart) he was accosted by a podophiliac (that’s someone with a foot fetish). Richard/ Barbra just might need to consider some kind of Footsie-Tootsie WebCam site for his many fans. Flip-flop on one foot, high heel on the other. Something for everyone! Double your money in no time, Richard! You’re welcome. (Foot pictured above is not Richard’s.) Speaking of Barbra Seville—there’s still time to sign up for AIDSwalk Phoenix and join Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100. It all takes place in downtown Phoenix on Sunday, October 21. You might even get to see Richard’s feet.


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by Sean Kapera SeanKaperaPhotography.com

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B

eware! There might be a Boogeyman in your life, either at work or at home. But there’s no Monster under the bed, guaranteed. The Full Moon on the 29th is a Hunter’s Moon, and there’s plenty of wild game out there!

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

You’ll feel like you lived through the Night of the Living Dead because of a Scorpio’s spell. However, a secret passageway reveals an opportunity at home and at work, giving you a reward you deserve.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

A few goblins and ghosties from your past will egg your metaphorical house. You’ll find a good solid threat to call their parents and tattle to their friends will have them backing off. You’ll teach a Scorpio a valuable lesson.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Break all the mirrors you want! Walk under ladders! Let black cats cross your path! You lead a charmed life with no risk of bad luck. This month, anyway. This month. I’d still keep my eye on a Capricorn next month. They have cloven hooves.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

You’ll meet someone with bats in their belfry. A stake through the heart is a little extreme, but nonetheless, follow your instincts because the call is coming from inside the house. And it’s collect from an Aries.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

“Double, double, toil and trouble.” You’ll feel like casting a few spells on a few very deserving Tauri, Sagittarii and Librae. Be careful! A hex can bounce back. A Pisces offers you some sticky candy. That’s the best kind.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

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Moon rises? You are not gonna grow that much hair overnight and become a Werewolf, so relax. However, you just might find that you’re feeling like a wild animal with a Cancer. Grrrr!

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

You’ve got a “ghoulfriend” who’s “gravely” concerned about you. Look in the mirror and see who looks back. If it’s your birthday, get out of that coffin and celebrate! A Pisces makes your heart race. Relax. You know you’re not a vampire.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23

Feeling like a witch or a warlock? Want to turn someone into a newt? Use your powers for good and if it’s your birthday, bake a cake, throw a party, and play music so loud it’ll, well, “wake the dead.” A Virgo is under your spell.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

Lately you feel like the Mummy: you’ve been all “tied up.” Things begin to “unravel” for you early in the month, thanks to a Libra who helps you “unwrap” a complicated situation.

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

You’ll come across a few things that go bump in the night, but don’t be afraid. A not-so-ghostly encounter turns into something frightfully fabulous mid-month. A Pisces wants to “bob for apples.” That’s a euphemism for something naughty.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

You’re totally unprepared for any kind of Zombie Apocalypse or even a White Sale at Macy’s. You’re feeling skittish lately, but don’t let a little “Boo!” scare you. A Leo gives you a trick and a treat.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in the dark ... It’s not a “Thriller,” but only a family member who keeps creeping up from behind and terrorizing you. The threat will vanish with the light of day. A Taurus calms you down.




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