ION Arizona Magazine #140 by ION Arizona

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GAGA AFTER PARTY

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KARAMBA

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3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

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Publisher / FOUNDER Jack M. Tesorero .............................. jacktesorero@me.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw ........................................ kbushaw@me.com Editor Deon Brown ....................................... ionazeditor@me.com COPY EDITOR Austin Head PRODUCTION ASSISTANTs Chance Gullon Chris Phillips PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS ionazproduction@me.com Advertising Sales Jack Tesorero ............................................... (602) 750-1164 Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ............ (520) 429-5905 ionazsales@me.com ADVERTISING CONSULTANT Bill Knoop ..................................................... (602) 301-8457 Photographers:

Fernando Hernandez Jerry O’Conner Danny Catt James Demitri Cover photo by Jerry O’Conner Art by Kevin Bushaw National Advertising Representative Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 ContributORS:

Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Jackson David Kelly C. Edwards

Robert Hoffman Ted Kirby Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez

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Equality is my policy. I’ll treat you and your partner with respect and without judgment. I can help you save on car, homeowners, renters, life insurance, even retirement products. Call me today to get all the discounts you deserve. Hector Cerda (480) 999-7222 hectorcerda@allstate.com

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All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

NAUGHTY OR NICE BINGO

APOLLO’S

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

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Mardi Gras “Laissez les bon temps roulez!” It’s time to celebrate Fat Tuesday, Big Easy style, at Bar1, Charlie’s, The Rock and Karamba on Tuesday, (of course!) February 12. “Throw me somethin’, mister!” Earn your beads the old fashioned way (wink, wink) and Drink Hurricanes at one of these fabulous watering holes before you pretend to give it all up on Ash Wednesday!

Valentine’s Day at The Rock If you’ve gotta heart on for someone special, you can cuddle ‘til the cows come home at The Rock! You’ll be entertained and serenaded by Lady Christian, Pandora DeStrange and some very special guests. $15 VIP ticket includes a sexy show, a champagne toast, a rose and dessert. Guaranteed to get you laid.

Rodeo Weekend Giddyap, y’all! Westward, ho! The 27th Annual Roadrunner Regional Rodeo returns to the ol’ homestead at the Corona Ranch & Rodeo Grounds at 29th Ave. and Baseline Rd., February 15-18. Make Charlie’s your stompin’ ground for a hoe-down you won’t forget! (Shuttles go to and fro every hour, on the hour.) If you can rope ‘em, you can ride ‘em! T Media Promotion.com is a pardner with HomoRodeo.com, a place for everything rodeo, buckaroos! C’mon down for the Men of HomoRodeo.com party at Bar1 on February 15. ION Arizona is mighty proud to sponsor this event.

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SAAF: mödaprovocateur It’s time for puttin’ on the Ritz! Join SAAF for a celebration of style, fashion and compassion benefiting the programs and services of the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation— SAAF. Tucson Convention Center Grand Ballroom, 260 S. Church Ave. Purchase tix online at SAAFmoda.org or call 520-628-SAAF. See ad p. 46

One-n-Ten’s Fresh Brunch A little quiche, pastries, slice of cantaloup, Bloody Mary and a heapin’ helpin’ of philanthropy! One of the hottest traditions is the annual Fresh Brunch, benefiting One-n-Ten, improving the lives of GLBTQ youth. See you on Sunday, February 24, 10:30 a.m.-2 p.m. at the Arizona Biltmore Resort, 2400 E. Missouri Ave. Purchase tix at OnenTen.org. See ad p. 32

FEBRUARY 2013 ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE EVENT Thurs. Touch Thursdays 8 Electronic Beats 9 Blush & Bashful 9 Masquerade Ball 10 Her Story and History 10 Chinese New Year 13 Uptown Social Club 13 P!NK After Party 14 18+ V-Day 3-Some 14 Valentine’s Day Show 15 Blackout 15 Men of HomoRodeo.com Party 15-16 Customer Appreciation Party 15-17 Rodeo Weekend 15-18 Rodeo Weekend 16 Volley del Sol Seeding Party 17 Carnaval Latino 22 Greaser Night 24 Fresh Brunch MARCH 2-3 Art Detour 3 Moda Provocateur 9 HRC Arizona Gala Dinner

LOCATION CITY Club Afterlife Scottsdale Apollo’s Phoenix Ritz Carlton Phoenix Karamba Phoenix Comm. Church of Hope Phoenix Karamba Phoenix Apollo’s Phoenix Karamba Phoenix Club Afterlife Scottsdale Club Congress Tucson Apollo’s Phoenix Bar1 Phoenix Dick’s Cabaret Phoenix Corona Ranch Phoenix Charlie’s Phoenix Roscoe’s Phoenix Karamba Phoenix Apollo’s Phoenix AZ Biltmore Hotel Phoenix Downtown Convention Center Sheraton Hotel

Phoenix Tucson Phoenix

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Charlie’s Rodeo Weekend Lip-synch, “Ki, yi, yi, yippee, yippee-yay!” That lil’ ol’ country gal from down yonder, Pussy LeHoot and the glamorous Claudia B. host their Annual Mini Rodeo with fun and games with a trophy for the Best All-Around Cowboy and Miss Mini Rodeo on Wednesday, February 15 at 9 p.m. C’mon back to the ol’ “Chuck” wagon on Monday, February 18 for the Rodeo Survivors Brunch at 11 a.m. and join Pussy LeHoot & Friends for the 13th Annual Presidents’ Day Show at 1 p.m. It all happens at Charlie’s, 727 W. Camelback Rd. in Phoenix. Phone: 602-265-0224 See ad p. 34

FEBRUARY 2013 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) Sun 10 10:30pm Karamba Chinese New Year Show & Celebration Diamond Sun 12 10:30pm Karamba Mardi Gras with Savannah Moussier Wed 13 TBA Karamba P!nk After Party with the Karamba Girls Thurs 14 10:30pm Karamba Valentines Day Show with Ruby Thurs 14 The Rock Be My Valentine with Lady Christian, Pandora DeStrange, & Guests Tues 19 10:30pm Karamba Whitney Houston Tribute with Savannah Moussier WEEKLY SHOWS Mondays 9:00pm The Rock It’s Bingo, Bitches! with Kendra & Aimee Mondays 10:00pm Charlie’s Barbra Seville w/ Strippers! Mondays 10:00pm Apollo’s Naughty or Nice Bingo Mondays 9:00pm The Rock “It’s Bingo, Bitches!” with Kendra Katoure & Aimee V. Justice Wednesdays 9:00pm IBT’s Viva La Diva with Janee Star Wednesdays 9:00pm The Rock Open Wide Wednesdays Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Girls of Karamba - Adrian Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste Montiel Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Claudia B. & Company Thursdays 10:30pm Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds Fridays 9:00pm IBT’s Absolutely Flawless with China Collins Fridays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Miss Dottie Pepper Fridays 9:00pm BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers Saturdays 9:00pm IBT’s Starrletts with Janee Star Saturdays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams Saturdays 10:00pm The Rock The Barbra Seville Show Saturdays 10:00pm icepics The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan Saturdays 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show 1st & 3rd Sun. 12:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Sunday Morning Madness with Miss Dottie Pepper Sundays 8:3:0pm Apollo’s Monthly Drag Shows (A Different Show Every Week!) Sundays 8:30pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Sundays 10:30pm Karamba Diamond’s Show February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 23

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The Comedy of Errors If you love The Muppet Show, Mister Rogers’ “Land of Make Believe,” Avenue Q and British Lit, you’ll go barmy for this! See Shakespeare’s hilarious slapstick farce about twins, mistaken identity and wild mishaps—all told with puppets! This comedy runs February 13-24 at the Mesa Arts Center, 1 E. Main Street. Visit MesaArtsCenter.com or call 480-644-6500 for tix. Lotsa larfs!

Sons of the Prophet Lebanese-American brothers Joseph and Charles, are young, gay and having a hell of a year until a prank-gone-wrong leads to the death of their father. Not only that, Joseph is battling a mysterious ailment and his boss is pressuring him to write a memoir about his family’s tenuous connection to Kahlil Gibran, author of The Prophet. Things get more intense when an ambitious and sexy reporter descends on the family in search of a story. February 15-March 2 at Tempe Performing Arts Center, 132 E. 6th St. Go to StrayCatTheatre.org or call 480-364-6435 for tix.

An Evening with Elaine Paige The First Lady of British Musical Theatre comes out West where she’ll perform a selection of hit songs from Sunset Boulevard, Chess, The King and I, Evita, Anything Goes and more from her exhaustive repertoire of hit musicals. Join all the other Show Tune Queens who’ll cry when she sings, “Memory” on Tuesday, February 26 at the Mesa Arts Center, 1 E. Main St. Call 480-644-6500 for tix.

FEBRUARY 2013 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT LOCATION 5-10 War Horse ASU Gammage thru 9 Freud’s Last Session Temple of Music & Art - Tucson 9 Mark Twain Tonight Mesa Arts Center thru 10 Sunset Boulevard Desert Stages Theatre thru 10 Fox on the Fairway Actors Theatre - Herberger 13-24 Comedy of Errors Mesa Arts Center 14 Bill Cosby Mesa Arts Center 14-3/3 Freud’s Last Session AZ Theatre Co. 15-3/2 Sons of the Prophet Stray Cat Theatre 15 Paula Poundstone Mesa Arts Center 16 Rita Rudner Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts thru 17 Love Makes the World Go ‘Round - Phx Theatre 23-3/9 Frankie and Johnny... Phoenix Little Theatre 23 Broadway Rox Tucson Music Hall - Tucson 26 Evening with Elaine Paige Mesa Arts Center 27-3/2 Spank! The 50 Shades Parody- Orpheum Theatre

PHONE 480-964-3434 520-622-2823 480-644-6500 480-483-1664 602-252-8497 480-644-6500 480-644-6500 602-256-6995 480-364-6435 480-644-6500 480-994-TKTS 602-254-2151 602-254-2151 800-745-3000 480-644-6500 800-745-3000

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April 4 & 5

8pm Comerica Theatre www.ComericaTheatre.com 1-800-745-3000 www.montypythonspamalot.com 26

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“Hard” Lessons Does spanking hurt? Heck, of

course it’s gonna hurt! How else will it work? If you want to laugh until your sides hurt, don’t miss SPANK! The Fifty Shades Parody. This hilarious, new musical brings all the naughty fun of the best-selling book to life to the Orpheum Theatre from Wednesday, February 27 through Saturday, March 2. This clever, reimagined tale of the sex-starved nymphos comes alive with comedy, musical numbers, and sexy and fun performances from the hunky leading man; plus some surprises! Get there early! Doors open at 6:30 p.m. for pre-show drinks, including a specialty SPANK! cocktail. Stay after the show for a photo with the seductive star himself and meet and greet the entire cast. SPANK! will be at the Orpheum Theatre, 203 W. Adams St. on February 27, 2013 at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, February 28, at 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 1 at 8 p.m. and Saturday, March 2 at 8 p.m. Tickets can be purchased at TicketMaster. com or call 800-745-3000 or at the Orpheum Theatre Box Office. Oh. SPANK! is not associated with, nor authorized by, author E.L. James or Vintage Press. Otherwise they’d spank us where our tail feathers are thinnest. February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 27

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MISS GAY AZ US of A

TCA

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

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The Who The British Invasion on the music scene introduced The Who way back in 1964. Albums like the rock opera Tommy (“Pinball Wizard”) and Quadraphenia helped make them one of the greatest rock bands of all time, kids. These loud, old dudes come to town and rock out on Wednesday, February 6 at the Jobing.com Arena, 9400 W. Maryland Ave. in Glendale. For tix visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000

P!nk This little music powerhouse ain’t so “Missundaztood” since she burst on the scene in 2001. Her spectacular “Truth About Love” tour hits town on Wednesday, February 13 so, you know, “Raise Your Glass.” US Airways Center, 201 E. Jefferson St. For tix go to TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000

Wynonna One-half of The Judds (well, certainly the bigger half, that’s for sure!) has eight successful albums under her very big belt since she went out on her own. A proud, outspoken Straight ally for the GLBT community, Wy has also been a U.S. Ambassador working with Youth AIDS. Get some of her Judd love on Saturday, February 16 at Talking Stick Resort, 9800 E. Indian Bend Rd. in Scottsdale. Visit TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000 for tix.

FEBRUARY 2013 ION Concert Calendar DATE 6 7 8 8 9 10 13 13 15 16 23 24 26 27

ARTIST LOCATION The Who Jobing.com Arena - Glendale Dwight Yoakam Fox Theatre - Tucson Imagine Dragons Marquee Theatre - Tempe Oak Ridge Boys Wild Horse Pass - Chandler Wayne Newton Chandler Center for the Arts Morrissey Marquee Theatre - Tempe Jackson Browne Orpheum Theatre - Phoenix P!nk US Airways Center - Phoenix BB King Wild Horse Pass - Chandler Wynonna Talking Stick Resort Wilson Phillips Wild Horse Pass - Chandler The Used Marquee Theatre - Tempe Evening with Elaine Page Mesa Arts Center G. Love & Special Sauce Martini Ranch - Scottsdale

PHONE 800-745-3000 520-547-3040 480-829-0707 877-840-0457 800-745-3000 480-829-0707 602-262-7272 800-745-3000 877-840-0457 800-745-3000 877-840-0457 480-829-0707 480-644-6500 480-970-0500

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by Jackson David Kelly jacksonkelly@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? Josh Groban – All That Echoes

Josh rocks out! Okay, well, perhaps not quite to the degree of Green Day, but for Groban, his latest offering is a slight departure from the operatic “You Raise Me Up” schmaltz we all know and love him for. Sure, there is the classical/pop crossover sound as heard in “Brave” but “False Alarms,” “Satellite” and “Prometerro” give the listener a glimpse of this Coldplay-esque infusion that is a bit beefier. Penned with half newly written tracks from Chantal Kreviazuk and Walter Afanasieff to name a few, as well as a slew of covers. Groban is ready to thaw your winter heart with some perfect Valentine’s love. GRADE: C

New Order – Lost Sirens

New Order staged a comeback in 2005 with Waiting For the Sirens’ Call and with a gallant effort that album went on to make my top three of that year. With so much work, notoriety and success, it’s no wonder we see the leftovers get an album of its own. With the exit of original bassist Peter Hook, what a perfect tribute for (in my humble opinion) of the best bands ever. Opener “I’ll Stay With You” is classic New Order with that guitar riff we’ve all grown to love as it’s perfectly sweetened with Sumner’s vocals. Other tracks of greatness include the solemn and dark “Recoil” and the dancefloor ready “Sugarcane.” GRADE: B

Soundtrack – Girls Most soundtracks,

especially TV collections, are trite and boring. However, with the show’s new found respect, it’s time to bring notice to the music behind the scenes and in a soundtrack that’s as solid as they come. Other than Robyn, Tegan & Sara, Santigold and Fun., this collection is all about imaginative and groundbreaking music. “Wishes & Stars” by Harper Simon is this sets’ standout with its folky twang that screams current. Also, take note in “Overdrawn” by White Sea and its Ellie Goulding homage. Then there’s the spice of the electro-jamming, “I Love It.” All in all, a great joyride from start to finish. GRADE: B+ In other music news, Justin “Sexyback” Timberlake is set for a March 19 release for his lip-smacking follow-up to FSLS. It’s been seven years and although he said that he was done with music, I, like so many of you, am wet with anticipation. Confirmed is a collaboration with T.I. with other details under tight security. If his first single is any indication of the ride we’re in for—sign me up! In Gaga-Land, ARTPOP—the singer’s next release—is still in the very rough stages of creation. Though 50 tracks/ideas have been written, now the creative part takes place. Let’s hope she still has some insatiable treats for us before year’s end. February 2013

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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

The Wise Kids Cabaret 40th Anniversary Starring: Liza Minnelli, Michael York, Joel Grey, Helmut Griem “Life is a Cabaret, old chum! Come to the Cabaret!” Bob Fosse’s ground-breaking, Oscar-winning, musical drama celebrates its 40th anniversary with a face-lift! Set in the Weimar Republic in the 1930s, the film stars Liza Minnelli (New York, New York) as Sally Bowles, a bohemian American artist, and nightclub singer who embarks on a tumultuous romance with her repressed, British boarder, Brian Roberts (York, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery), including a (then) shocking ménage à trois with the dashing, bisexual Baron Max von Heune (Griem, The McKenzie Break). Just as their romance runs out, so too does the clock on Germany’s decadent, pre-war era as the growing presence of the Nazi party threatens to shatter the fragile world of Sally’s cabaret and destroy her friends. Sexy, devastating and filled with unforgettable musical numbers (Willkommen and Cabaret), the 40th Anniversary edition features a Blu-ray book of 40 stills, and text on the film, interviews and reminisces from the stars, a new documentary (Cabaret: The Musical That Changed Musicals) and a host of other features. “Divine decadence!” Available on DVD and Bluray on February 5.

Starring: Molly Kunz, Tyler Ross, Allison Torem Written and directed by Stephen Cone (In Memoriam), The Wise Kids is a beautiful coming-of-age drama about three college-bound friends who must make the difficult—and sometimes painful— transition into adulthood. Set in Charleston, South Carolina, in the summer before they go off to college, Brea (Kunz), Laura (Torem) and Tim (Ross) are close friends, active in their church’s youth group. When Tim reveals his uncertainty about his sexuality to the girls, it forces all of them to confront aspects of themselves that had previously remained hidden as they attempt to reconcile their beliefs with their feelings. Along with perfectly capturing the intense isolation and uncertainty of this critical moment in a youth’s life, director Cone weaves a subplot that serves as a heartbreaking cautionary tale for those who rush quickly and blindly into a decision about themselves before taking the time necessary to ask—and answer—their questions. In a move completely devoid of pretense, The Wise Kids presents their story in such a patient, compassionate manner that it rightly gives incredible depth to all the characters and allows the audience to empathize with each of their predicaments—something so rarely done in not just film, but life where we choose to paint people so broadly, they lose all humanity. Available on DVD. February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 37

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Identity Thief Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Jason Bateman, John Cho, Amanda Peet Written by Craig Mazin (The Hangover II) and directed by Seth Gordon (Horrible Bosses) comes a new comedy from Universal Pictures starring Jason Bateman (Arrested Development) and Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids). Diana (McCarthy) is living large in Miami; she has access to unlimited funds and routinely engages in retail therapy. The problem is that the credit lines she’s using to finance these extravagant shopping sprees were opened under the name “Sandy Bigelow Patterson”—a hapless account representative (Bateman) living in Denver. When he realizes that his identity has been stolen, he’s forced to go to extreme measures—including directly engaging the woman who stole it—to clear his name and right his credit score. Release Date: 02/08/2012

Beautiful Creatures Starring: Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum Based on The New York Times bestselling, young adult novel of the same name, this supernatural romance stars Alden Ehrenreich (Tetro) and Alice Englert (Ginger & Rosa) as two star-

crossed teen lovers in Gatlin, South Carolina. Sophomore, Ethan Wate (Ehrenreich) is immediately enchanted when he (literally) meets the girl of his dreams, Lena (Englert), the niece of local shutin “Old Man” Macon Ravenwood (Irons, Brideshead Revisted), on her first day at school. The two embark on a fledgling romance in earnest, but their youthful love affair is plagued by the fact that Lena is a Caster—a person who can use magic—and her ultimate fate will be determined on her sixteenth birthday when she is claimed for either Light or Dark. Ethan must find a way to unravel how they are connected and to protect Lena before it’s too late. Release Date: 02/13/2012

No Starring: Gael García Bernal Adapted from the play El Plebiscito by Antonio Skarmeta, this Chilean film is directed by Pablo Larrain (Post Mortem) and stars sexy Mexican actor, Gael García Bernal (Y Tu Mamá También, The Motorcycle Diaries, Babel). After 15 years of military rule, the Chilean public is being asked to vote in the National Plebiscite of 1988 if military dictator Augusto Pinochet should continue to rule. Bernal stars as René Saavedra, an in-demand advertising executive who has been assembling films and promotional material encouraging the public to vote “no” and contradicting of his boss at the agency. The two sides battle it out over 27 nights of television advertisements when each party has 15-minutes to present their respective arguments. Winner of the Art Cinema Award at the 2012 Cannes Film Festival, this foreign language film captures the historic moment where advertising tactics became widely used to influence a political campaign. Release Date: 02/15/2012 February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 39

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by Albert Rivas arivas3@gmail.com

t’s time to take shelter or stand and fight. The “Walkers” are coming and that can only mean that AMC’s The Walking Dead is back. The second half of Season 3 begins airing Sunday, February 10. Now our favorite group of survivors is led by the unstable and scruffy Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), who must now deal with protecting the group along with his son (Carl) and newborn daughter after his wife Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies) dies in childbirth during an emergency C-section. At least Lori finally redeemed herself during her final moments after being so useless the entire time. The “I Just Want to be Loved” Andrea (Laurie Holden) has upped her zombie killing skills and has caught the eye of a new man with power. That’s when we’re finally introduced to the series’ Big Bad Wolf, The Governor of Woodbury (David Morrissey). It seemed like Utopia for Andrea, but not for the katana wielding Michonne (Danai Gurira). As Rick and his team backdoor penetrate Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie, she reveals a secret to the Governor when she tells them where Rick’s posse is living: the derelict prison. Ninja-like Michonne comes to blows with the Governor and stabs him in the eye with a shard of glass. This all leads up to a showdown. The season finale is sure to be a bloodbath with casualties galore. It’s perfectly clear that no one is safe. Not even the zombies. Speaking of bloodbath and casualties, STARZ brings back the very homoerotic borderline soft-core porn series, Spartacus: War of the Damned, now in its third and final season.

Historical background: Spartacus leads a group of slaves in an uprising for freedom against the Roman Republic. We all caught up now? Liam McIntyre takes over the reigns as Spartacus in season 2 for the dearly departed Andy Whitfield. Closing out season 2 we saw Spartacus (in which his nude scenes are not to be missed) finally getting his revenge on Gaius Claudius Glaber (Craig Parker) by deepthroating him with his sword. Mira, (Katrina Law) met her death by taking an axe to the chest that was meant for Spartacus. Show stealer Lucretia played by Lucy Lawless (Xena Warrior Princess for most of us) took her best friend Ilythia’s (Viva Bianca or “Perfect Boobs”) newborn child and jumped off a cliff with baby in hand, committing suicide. This in turn led to Ilythia bleeding to death by—you guessed it—the emergency C-section given to her by Lucretia beforehand. This season Marcus Crassus (Simon Merrells) and the infamous Julius Caesar (Todd Lasance) join the fight against Spartacus, although Spartacus has his own beefy army with Crixus (Manu Bennett), the man-loving Agron (Dan Feuerriegel) and Gannicus (Dustin Clare). If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Walking Dead and Spartacus, both, is that C-sections are bad news. That, and halfnaked muscular men fighting and wrestling around are always key to a successful show. February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 41

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We Can't Resist!

Thelma Houston Remembers Disco, the Pope and the Grammys She Didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Go to

... and Won.

by Deon Brown 44 www.IONAZ.com

February 2013

In 1978 Thelma Houston won a

Grammy for Best Solo Female R&B Performance for “Don’t Leave Me This Way,” destined to be one of the great Disco/Dance anthems of all time. She was the first solo female artist for Motown to ever win a Grammy. Miss Houston has recorded nearly 30 albums since, and worked with artists Phoebe Snow, Chaka Kahn, Cyndi Lauper, Melissa Etheridge, Rufus Wainwright and more. Miss Houston spoke to ION Arizona about her career, music and much more. A fabulous Diva from the Motown and Disco Era, sure. An R&B legend. But she’s much more than that. You could even say she started this fire down in our soul. Now can’t you see it’s burnin’ outta control? Well, you get the picture. ION: You’ve been performing for 50 years!

Thelma Houston: I did my first recording about 1965 or ‘66. Motown was not my first label; it was on a label called ABC/Dunhill Records. My first album, Sunshower, was written by Jimmy Webb (“Up, Up and Away”) who wrote and produced all the songs. It was a wonderful experience. They had Three Dog Night, the Mamas and the Papas and Steppenwolf—and me. It was difficult for the label to understand what I was doing. It wasn’t an easily marketable project.

ION: The story is that you did not attend the 1978 Grammys when you were nominated because you didn’t think you would win. When it was announced that you won you were scrubbing your kitchen floor. TH: That’s true. And it’s a story I highly regret. That’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. I was up against Aretha Franklin [in addition to Natalie Cole and Diana Ross - ed.] I’d even had a dress made and everything. I had been nominated once before for a song off my first Motown album, “You’ve Been Doing Wrong For So Long.” I wasn’t known then, and I thought I’d be disappointed if I didn’t win and it would show on my face on camera. It was also the year the Grammys made choices who would get airtime for the awards. Some awards are given off-camera. That year that’s what they decided to do for R&B. I think it was a little protest on, too, on my part. It is something that I regret. Whenever you’re nominated— especially for anything you believe in, you should always go, out of respect for the award. I’ve never said that before.

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getting gigs! And I’m loving it! ION: You emerged on the scene during the Golden Age of Disco. What do you remember? TH: Those years were definitely R&B for me, no dance; I even did a remake of “Me and Bobby McGee” by Janis Joplin, but I couldn’t get a hit—or what the company felt was a hit. Suzanne de Passe (Motown’s head of A&R Dept.) heard “Don’t Leave Me This Way” on an album by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes. It was a lovely song, but not disco. Producer, Hal Davis, came up with a very deliberate disco beat, like, 120 beats per minute, I don’t remember. It was engineered to be a good dance song that would go over well in the clubs. Back then Disco was popularized by the DJs in the clubs. I knew when I recorded it that people would love to dance to it. But as a commercial success—as a hit—I didn’t know that. Neither did [producer] Barry Gordy. Even when he heard the final master he said, “I don’t think this is right for Thelma.” ION: What has been the most redeeming part of your career? TH: The fact that I’m doing exactly what I wanted to do. I decided that very early on in my life. I thought, “Hmmm ... what can I do? I can sing!” At this point of my career I’m still just as excited about by next gig. At the same time, I’m never confident that I’m gonna have another gig. But I keep

ION: Do you sing around the house? TH: Not a lot. Let me put it like this: I’m not aware of it. I like to have music on. Sometimes I just like silence. ION: Is there anybody on the current music scene you’d like to sing with? TH: No. There are people that I really, really love listening to, I love listening to them sing, but don’t want to sing with them. If I go to a concert I don’t want them to call me up on the stage and sing with them. I want to hear them. ION: You’ve performed for the Pope in the Vatican in 1994 TH: I had an audience with Pope John Paul II. He was very cool. I had done a gospel album with Warner Brothers with Phoebe Snow, Dianne Reeves, CeCe Peniston, and George Duke when we went there for a fundraiser with Andrea Boccelli and Amii Stewart (“Knock On Wood”). I’d never met a pope before! It was wonderful! ION: We understand you’re collaborating on a Donna Summer tribute album. TH: Yes. I recorded “Last Dance” and February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 47

“Could This Be Magic.” We did a disco show several years ago; she was a very nice lady. Everybody got along. We were all cool with each other. No petty rivalries. Never. Ever. Martha Wash (“It’s Raining Men”), Linda Cliffords (“If My Friends Could See Me Now”), Gloria Gaynor (“I Will Survive”), Anita Ward (“Ring My Bell”), Evelyn “Champagne” King (“Shame”), France Joli (“Come to Me”), Vicki Sue Robinson(“Turn the Beat Around”), whenever we did a show it was, “Hey, girl! What’s goin’ on?” ION: You’ve sang “Don’t Leave Me This Way” so many times. How do you keep it fresh? TH: When I start singing (hums opening bars) and I see people respond to it, dancing, clapping their hands— something—that’s the spark. Even when I did it in Malaysia, a Muslim country, and they screamed. People always respond

to it and that’s very exciting to me. ION: What can we expect from your appearance at Blush & Bashful? TH: I try a little bit of the old and something new. What works for me is something up-tempo, something where the audiences want to get up and dance. I hope it’s that kind of a crowd and something where that can really happen. Miss Thelma Houston performs at Blush & Bashful Gala on 6 p.m. on Saturday, February 9 at the RitzCarlton, 2401 E. Camelback Rd. For tickets call 602-228-5587 or visit BrownPaperTickets.com Visit ThelmaHouston.com and find out more about this amazing performer!

Behind the Curtain

“ lush & Bashful” is presented by the Grand Canyon Performing Arts and will benefit, in part, the Matthew Shepard Foundation, dedicated to replace Hate with Understanding, Compassion and Acceptance through various educational, outreach and advocacy programs. This anticipated event is made possible because of the hard work of committee members (l-r) John Jones, Thomas Durisek (Vice Chairman), Steve Bader, Daniel Ruacho (Chairman) Nestor Padilla, Matt Highfill and Jeffrey Perales.

www.IONAZ.com February 2013

9th Annual HRC Arizona Gala Dinner

March 9, 2013

Sheraton Phoenix Downtown Hotel

Tickets available at hrcazdinner.org Featured Speaker:

Award Winners:

Echo Magazine Corporate Equality Award

Congresswoman Kyrsten Sinema (AZ-9)

Brandi Sokolosky Individual Equality Award

LZ Granderson Visibility Award

Thanks to our Sponsors:

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Federal Pizza

Makes A Statement. O

nce upon a time, back in the madcap ‘80s, some people had lots of money to blow on things like cocaine, South African gold krugerrands, and Cabbage Patch Dolls, or deposit their money in Savings & Loan bank-like institutions. Thanks to people like dead, local crook Charles Keating, who built the Phoenician Resort, the scandal of S&Ls cost everybody. Lots. Flash forward: all the S&Ls went belly up. One ghost of the era was the derelict Federal Savings & Loan on the corner of Oregon and Central Avenues. Flash more forwarder: Upward Projects, who owns and operates area juggernaut Postino (whose bruschetta is great, but not the best—that award goes to Cibo. End of subject.), the fab Windsor (with an amazing Crab Cake Sandwich) and Churn bought the white elephant. They’ve also purchased the defunct Aiello’s Italian eatery next door. (Poor, old veteran, nearby Dairy Queen, better be afraid. Very afraid.) Economists call this a “monopoly.”

daytime filled with business people and hipsters and intimate in the night, filled with hipsters. The booths filling the center give you a spectacular stage for viewing the clientele and the open kitchen. One big boon is the charming Tom Risner, who couldn’t be a better tuck trader serving investors. The TLC Salad ($10) is a safe deposit standout with arugula, spring greens, beets, pears, smoked almonds, fennel, Pecorino and is a sparkling choice among the five salads. You can add chicken for $4. Twelve very different interest drawing pizzas star on the menu. Each imaginatively conceived pie is 12” crafted by Master Baker (that’s “baker”) MJ Coe, husband of pastry artist Tammie. One features roasted Brussels sprouts, pancetta, Manchego

Hence, Federal Pizza was born, as a nod to their ancient incarnation. The old S&L was gutted and fashionably remodeled with reclaimed materials, including a ceiling brilliantly utilizing stacks of corrugated cardboard to muffle the thumpa-thumpa music. The interior is light and airy in the February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 51

cheese, roasted garlic and lemon zest. A variety of tastes make it a surprise, but if you don’t like the cruciferous sprouts, you might stick with the more traditional Pepperoni or Four Kings Cheese Pizza. Most of these brick oven babies run around $13. Four prime rate sandwiches are available, served on the fantastic housemade bread. However the Porchetta with slow-roasted pork loin, pork belly, arugula, carmelized onion and lemon ($10) was a bad debt: fatty, fatty, fatty!

May love be your next big wave.

www.IONAZ.com February 2013

A side of crispy Polenta Sticks with Romesco Sauce ($4) earned a high appraisal. The former Drive-Thru is repurposed for “take away;” the fancy new-speak for “take out.” You won’t have to dip into your Christmas Club Account to afford Federal Pizza, but you might want to save a few pennies here and there. Your account can add up fast if you’re a spendthrift. And you know where that got the Savings & Loan situation. 5210 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix 602-795-2520 FederalPizzaPhx.com

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Ye a rs of Cheers!

ANNUAL ARIZONA

Join the revelry as we celebrate 25 Years of Cheers! New entertainment, more smiles and shenanigans!

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PLAY. HARD. SPRING SPORTS

Photos by James Demitri

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DRAG SHOWS • MEN OF STRUT • GOGO BOYS UNDERWEAR NIGHT • SHOW TUNES • KARAOKE

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The Volley Del Sol The Desert Volleyball Alliance is excited to present the 3rd Annual Volley del Sol at the American Sports Center, 755 N. 114 Ave. in Avondale. Registration Party: Friday, Feb. 15 at Charlie’s, 6:30-9:30 p.m. Pool Play & Seeding Party: Saturday, Feb. 16. Come to Roscoe’s for the Seeding Party! Finals: Sunday, Feb. 17. Find out more about this national tournament at DesertVolleyballAlliance.org

The Cactus Open The Cactus Tennis Alliance is a GLBT social tennis group and an affiliate of the Gay & Lesbian Tennis Alliance. The Cactus Open is open to players across the U.S. and around the world. The 2013 Cactus Open is Saturday, Feb. 16 thru Mon. Feb. 18. The facility is the Phoenix Tennis Center, 6330 N. 21st. Ave. For more info visit CactusTennis.org

FEBRUARY 2013 ION SPORTS LISTINGS SPORT LEAGUE WEBSITE Bowling Phoenix Unified Gay Bowling PUGBA.org Court Volleyball Desert Volleyball Alliance DesertVolleybAlliance.org Flag Football Hellraisers PhoenixFlagFootball.com Sand Volleyball Arizona Gay Volleyball AZGV.org Softball Cactus Cities CactusCities.com Swimming Phoenix Sunfish PhoenixSunfish.org Tennis Cactus Tennis Alliance CactusTennis.org

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Come see what weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all about with one month of fRee SWImmInG! Visit us online for swim locations, swim times and to find out more about the Sunfish.

www.phxsunfish.org Support the Sunfish at Pride, April 21-22, by visiting our Beverage Booth!

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West’all! It’s y , p a Giddy ! The 27th ho nner ward, oadru eturns R l a u Ann deo r at nal Ro Regio homestead ol’ to the na Ranch & ro ou o the C rounds. If y n G a o c e you Rod e ‘em, p o r n ca m! ride ‘e

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Claudia B. wrangles the BoysGabe, Tim & Ivans of Charlie’s Photo by Jerry O’Conner February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 67

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Gabe & Tim of Charlie’s Photo by Jerry O’Conner

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Men of HomoRodeo.com Photos by Lupine Enterprises, LLC

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Men of HomoRodeo.com Photos by Lupine Enterprises, LLC

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Photo by James Demitri Teamm8 Touchdown Hoodie available at LAJock.com and Tan United Collection.

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Vol. 6, Issue 9

FEBRUARY 2013

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL

“Dear Abby” Dead. Britney Adopts Advice Column.

OUTRAGEOUS!

MINNEAPOLIS— Pauline Phillips, better known to newspaper readers across the country as “Abigail Van Buren” who dished out advice to Americans in her syndicated column “Dear Abby since 1956 died last month. She was 94.

importance of communication skills. “I’m, like, pretty smart ‘n’ all when it comes to all this kinda business,” said Spears. “I’m like everybody else. I know ‘bout raising kids real good, too. I mean, I’m a single mom now because now it’s important to have sex after your married, right?”

Readers depended on “Abby” for words of wisdom concerning love, relationships, child-rearing, marriage Spears feels uniquely qualified because of her and, of course, sex. Her straightforward, pop superstar status in lots of overseas places no-nonsense approach often boiled down like Canada. Even in small places, like London readers’ problems to an easy, single-sentence or England. She is outspoken on the subject of solution. the IS death penalty: “Whoever commits terrible ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL acts must get a fitting punishment. That way he “We need someone who knows about learns the lesson for the next time.” intricate, sensitive and demanding interpersonal relationships to fill Abby’s high Pearls of wisdom from Brit include, “I always heels,” said an executive at the Associated listen to ‘NSYNC’s ‘Tearin’ Up My Heart.’ It Press. “After an intense search, one name reminds me to wear a bra.” consistently came to the top of the list: It’s Spears is currently taking typing lessons to Britney, bitch.” prepare for the job. Pop star Spears is no stranger to the

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL May 2012 www.IONAZ.com 79

I am a friend, a Latino, and a peer educator. And I am living with HIV.

José (center) has lived with HIV since 2001. Get the facts. Get tested. Get involved. Visit ArizonaHIVAware.com.

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JOB #: 6161-4A_BTCD_ION · Client: BTCD · Agency: RIESTER · Trim: 4.625" x 3.625" · Color: 4-color Pub: ION · Insertion Date: 01/01/13 · Contact: Bill Robbins · brobbins@riester.com

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OUTRAGEOUS!

Boy Scouts in for a Big Gay Makeover!

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

IRVING, Tex.— The legendary youth organization helping to shape future leaders better “Be Prepared.” Progressives are urging the historic ANY RESEMBLANCE organization to open up their doors to include Gays as Scouts and Leaders.

TO THE TRUTH IS

eliminated from the songbook, although “From the Indes to the Andes in His Undies,” What You Do with a Drunken Sailor” and “Follow Me, Boys” are still fine. Songs from and TRAGICALLY“Wicked” ACCIDENTAL “Chicago” will supplement the aging repertoire.

“Look,” said one anonymous Boy “This will require Scout administrator, a few subtle “It’s the thin edge of modifications the wedge. They’ll to the famous take all the timeBoy Scout honored games, like Handbook,” ‘Hole in my Pack’ or said Rex Bruce ‘Chain Gang Escape’ LeBlond, a national advocate working to and ‘Nuts and Bolts’ and co-opt them. Next ANY RESEMBLANCE TOTO THE TRUTH IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL ANY RESEMBLANCE THE TRUTH TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL include the minority group. “The cooking thing you know they’ll be playing ‘Battling section is basic: pork and beans, roasted hot Mermans’ or some kind of Broadway game!” dogs, S’mores. We’d like to expand it to include things like, say, Waldorf Salad, Veal à More Gay-friendly activities like Ikebana la Prince Orloff and more low-carb options.” and Hot Yoga will be implemented. They will already excel at knot-tying. Inclusion of Gays also means uniforms will be tailored more attractively. Traditional campfire songs like “Hagaleena, Magaleena” and “Eddie Koochie Catchinary” will be

OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!

OUTRAGEOUS!

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 81

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He’s No Angel!

Behind the Strip Abel Boddy

ON Arizona is proud to publish the comic adventures of the nebbish Howard and his hedonistic, hunky guardian angel, Abel Boddy, drawn since 2005 by C. Edwards, who also animates content for Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. “My favorite part of creating ‘Abel Boddy’ is that I’m free to take in inspiration from anywhere: my own experiences, politics, entertainment, then include it in a storyline and get an immediate response from my readers,” the artist told ION. “I hope to have my next book, Attack of the 12” Roommate, which will collect all of my NSFW mini-webcomic, ‘12” Roommate,’ available this summer; then I’ll be returning to my comic book roots with a high concept superhero project before the end of the year.” Is there a real-life, muscle-bound hunk, like the sexy, supernatural sprite? “I like to believe that everybody has their 84

www.IONAZ.com February 2013

very own Abel

Boddy whispering bad advice into their ear,” Edwards laughed. Now ION readers can order the first 500 strips of “Abel Boddy.” Vol. 1: Longtime Companion and Vol. 2: Low Hanging Fruit for $12 and $22, respectively. Signed copies can be obtained by ordering from the artist via Paypal at AbelBoddy@gmail.com. Include $10 for shipping.

Membership_ION_half.pdf

4/25/12

4:17:06 PM

Let your voice be heard.

CMY

Members vote at the Annual Meeting to decide the Board of Directors, receive monthly email updates and invites to members-only events and membership drives, discounted Insurance through Mutual of Omaha and a complimentary One Voice Community Center T-Shirt.

Visit www.1vcc.org for full details today!

One Voice Community Center serves as a cultural focal point, uniting LGBT individuals and organizations, and reinvests in the community by providing vital educational, social, and wellness programs in the Metro Phoenix area.

4442 N. 7th Ave. Phoenix, AZ 85013 602.712.0111 www.1vcc.org | info@1vcc.org Living without fear, shame or isolation.

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SHERATON HOTEL DOWNTOWN PHOENIX WOODY’S

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OUT IN THE DESERT FILM FESTIVAL

FLUXX STUDIO

We take care

of our

own

A Celebration of Style, Fashion, and Compassion benefiting the programs and services of the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation (SAAF).

Title Sponsor:

Udall Law Firm, LLP Co-Title Sponsor:

Sunday March 3, 2013 Tucson Convention Center Grand Ballroom 260 South Church Ave.

Purchase Tickets online at www.saafmoda.org or by calling (520) 628-SAAF (7223).

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www.IONAZ.com February 2013

by Addison DeWitt

his rendezvous with a famous CNN Talking Head. (And, yes, he’s a B.O.G.—Big Ol’ Bottom! That’s what Dayton said, anyway.)

“ ee Aych Eks” A is becoming the “Playground for the Stars!” Last season’s “Project Runway” scarf-loving Betsy Ross-wannabe, Christopher Palu (A) who partied at The Rock for the Barbra Seville Show— in high heels! You go, girlie-man!

C Pop Quiz, darlings! Who’s the drag queen who keeps “sexting” naughty pictures to go-go boys, strippers, bartenders, DJs, doormen, cocktail waiters, barbacks, janitors and everybody else among the rank and file—of herself? Problem is, she’s still in E drag—except for her “tuck” done took off. Everyone begs, “No more! We’re only human!” This has been a Public Service Announcement. Otherwise I’m forced to reveal who it is. The irrepressible Mandi BoomBoom (B) celebrated her birthday at Amsterdam the old fashioned way: with porn stars! This year it was the diminutive Lex Sabre (C), who possesses a Costco economy-sized “you-know-what” and bad boy Dayton O’Connor (D), who promised to ride me like a cheap 10-speed that he stole. In an exclusive interview (not) Dayton revealed to me the details of

And, no. That wasn’t Ozzy Osourne. It was Virgel “I’m goin’ off the rails on a crazy train” Fout (E) who left cornered bystanders flabbergasted with one after another of his legendary—shall we say—”conveniently embroidered reconstructions.” It was like being stuck at Briarwood in an episode of “American D Horror Story: Asylum” if you catch my drift. Oh. No! Mandi’s fabulous fête finished in the wee hours of the morning at the le premier au naturel Phallus Phactory of Phoenix, Dick’s Cabaret, where audiences were treated to an eyeful of several yards of dancing “fine fandangles.” And on a Sunday, no less! Good thing I’m an “early riser,” if you know what I mean. Wink. Nudge. And where else in Arizona can you see a real, genuine, Catholic nun singing karaoke at an octogenarian’s birthday in a Gay bar? I’ll tell you. In Tucson at IBT’s, that’s where. How fabulous is that? “♫ Dominique, -nique, -nique s’en allait tout simplement ... ♫” Wait ... For a minute I thought I was at Briarwood again. With Virgel! February 2013 www.IONAZ.com 93

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he celestial events of February will help broaden your horizons and lengthen your vistas. On February 25 the full moon will be directly opposite the Earth from the Sun, where it will be fully illuminated. A foggy situation will become clear. For Valentine’s Day you’ll find that Love is elusive. Lust comes in handy, however.

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

Yer lookin’ fer love in all the wrong places. Don’t get caught with your pants down. You just might meet your own Clementine Cutie in the produce aisle at Gayway.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

Hey, Diddle-Diddle, Big Bull! Expect a “mooving” romantic experience to come your way that’ll have you jumping over the moon. Will it last? Maybe. But why buy the cow when the milk’s free?

Gemini May 21 - June 21

I love you. I hate you. Make up at least one of your minds! Your dual-nature makes you a love magnet, like famous, sexy Gems Anderson Cooper and Marilyn Monroe. But Jeffrey Dahmer was a Gemini, too. So there’s that ...

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Cupid’s arrow finds its mark when it hits you smack-dab in the middle of your daily duty, right when you thought any chance of Love was all “behind” you. “Butt” who knows? There’s a happy “end” in sight in March.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

Planetary and celestial conjunctions are playing tug-of-war with your love life. This leaves you fondling something else to keep you satisfied. You won’t go blind because of this, but keep your eyes open. Romance is revealed.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22

A box of chocolates and a bouquet of roses might be worth the investment. The apple of

your eye will respond when you pitch woo. That means the same thing as a giving a “Woof” or “Poke.” Play your cards right.

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22

Score bonus points when you take your main squeeze to the movies. Cut to the chase and watch an XXX flick at home. You better have some popcorn ready. The hot butter will come in handy.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23

Ouch! You stung somebody, Scorpio. You have an opportunity to kiss and make up. It involves a present, dinner, movie and drinks. A lot of drinks. Plan on cabbing it back to the Passion Pit, Love Bug.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23

A romantic entanglement spins out of control. This might involve somebody at work. Like your boss. Your boss who’s attached. You might be, too. It’s like a soap opera. A secret will be revealed.

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20

Love means never having to say you’re sorry. That’s not always true. You might have to say, “Sorry.” Maybe because of a little white lie. Maybe because you have crabs. Your true colors (the good ones) emerge mid-month.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

You’ll find Love this month—by hook or by crook. Or checkbook. You’ll discover “Magic Fingers” in a classy hotel room with someone you may or may not know. If it’s your birthday, watch your wallet; it might get drained.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

You’ll pick the wrong day to start a Lover’s Quarrel with Valentine’s Day and your birthday right around the corner. You’ll have to go “downtown” to earn something special. It’s worth it. So very worth it!

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