ION Arizona #93 March '09 by ION Arizona

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I once was blind, but now I see! I was once straight, now I am gay. I was once a Republican, now I am a Democrat. I was once a corporate slave in the straight world, now I work in the gay community. I have lived in the suburbs and now in the city. I have lived in a cold climate and now in a warm climate. I have been rich and I have been poor. I have been very happy and I have been very sad. I have been repressed and now I am free. I believe you cannot truly appreciate your life until you have lived in another man’s (or women’s) shoes. Last month, I traveled to Florida to visit my dad and step-mom. I picked up one of their many gay publications. It looked like ION Arizona in size but was full of busy ads and very little content. Over 200 pages and it came out every week. It made me appreciate how far we have come and what we add to our community. “We once had no ION Arizona, and now we do.” ION Arizona was once only 48 pages, next month it will be 132 pages. ION was black and white, now it’s all color. ION was once only for Phoenix, now it’s for all of Arizona. We started in a 500 sq. ft. home ofﬁce, now we are in a 2,300 sq. ft. 2-story building in the heart of the Phoenix GLBT community. ION was once for men only, now it is for all. The ﬁrst ION was created by one person, now it takes 20. We’ve come a long way and I couldn’t be more appreciative how far we have come. This month, we are introducing a new monthly guide called ION Drag Shows. This new feature highlights

many of Arizona’s popular drag queens who perform at our bars & events. Thank you to all the beautiful ladies who came to our multiple photo-shoots. I encourage everyone to check out the performers highlighted in this issue. “I was never a fan of drag queens until I saw them transform and perform and now I am.” I am not an expert on anything but I do know life is short. I have lost many people close to me in my life prematurely. Too many to count. President Obama said it best in his inaugural speech referring to Muslim countries but it applies to everyone: “People will judge you by what your create, not what you destroy.” I want to add: “What you give, not take away.” So I say this to all the men, women, female impersonators, transgendered and bisexuals in our community, be a part of building our community. What will you do to build this community? What will you donate? What will you give? I could have taken an easy path but I decided to build something. To grow something. To add to something. I have made hard decisions to bring us to where we are today and I have never been more appreciative and hopeful of our future. Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses. Or get some at The Green Woodpecker. Either way, appreciate the air in your lungs, the state you live in and the friends and family you have. Jack Tesorero Publisher March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 15

PUMPHOUSE II

photos courtesy of Brian Collins

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ION ARIZONA CENTER 3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com

ionarizona@me.com

PUBLISHER Jack M. Tesorero ....................... jacktesorero@me.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com EDITOR AND CONTENT CZAR Deon Brown - Ext 2 ................... ionazeditor@me.com PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com PRODUCTION & ARTWORK ionazproduction@me.com ADVERTISING SALES Jack Tesorero, Ext 1 .................. jacktesorero@me.com PHOTOGRAPHERS:

Richard Bolinski Jerry O’Conner

Carl James Don Thompson

NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS:

Corey Blanchette Wes Bergman Addison DeWitt Gabriel Diaz Helena Grayson Gary Guerin

Dave Jackson Bryan Kopp Ted Kirby David Alan Maxey Kim Ruff Paul Sanchez

TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS, CALL (602) 308-4662. Published monthly by

a JMT Designs, Inc. company

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED PRINTED IN THE USA All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reﬂect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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SPIKED!

Thursdays at DBG The Desert Botanical Gardens presents a night in the gardens with a promenade among the Chihuly glass sculptures with music entertainment, light hors d’oeuvres and a Chihuly-inspired cocktail. You haven’t lived ‘til you’ve seen Selenicereus grandiﬂorus by moonlight It happens every Thursday night from 5:30-8 p.m. at 1201 N. Galvin Pkwy. Tix at www.dbg.org or call 480-481-8188 (See their ad on the back cover)

Miss Phoenix Gay Pride Pageant Don’t miss Miss B.S. West Saellah V., Miss Apollo’s Barbara Seville, Miss Kobalt Patricia Mason, Miss Club Vibe Mikaila Kay, Miss Pumphouse II Naomi St. James, Miss Plazma KiKi Vermont, Miss The Rock LaDonna Pearl, Miss Cruisin’ 7th Chane Jordan, Miss Karamba Miss Rubi, Miss Retro Bar Sophia Sinclaire compete for the title of Miss Phoenix Gay Pride, March 7 at Steele Indian School Park’s Memorial Hall 7 p.m. It’s not to be “missed!” Go to www.pridepageant.org for info.

Fridays at Club

DWNTWN

If you’re a hot papi chulo or if you admire them, hop in your lowrider and check out the muy caliente Friday Nights at Club DWNTWN. They promise you Phoenix’s best Latin Club, with a twist. We’ll see all you gay caballeros at 702 N. Central, right next to Amsterdam.

St. Patrick’s Day May the wind be always at your back, and a beer at your lips. Celebrate the wearin’ o’ the green on March 17 at Charlie’s, BS West, Apollo’s, Karamba & Cherry Bar where they’ll be celebrating ‘til the cows come home. Early birds can get their Lucky Charms at Dick’s Cabaret on March 13 & 14 where naked leprechauns will dance for you. 24

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March for Equality in Casa Grande

Hosted by Equality Arizona and Uniﬁed Voice, this inspiring and fun event features music, drag shows, information booths and inﬂuential speakers. Kind of a mini-Pride with a march through downtown. It all happens in front of Casa Grande City Hall on Saturday, March 28 from 12-3 p.m. Afterward you can always go to the Outlet Mall and shop.

The Dinah - Club Skirts

The Biggest, best, and largest girl party in the world happens in Palm Springs, California where gals from everywhere descend upon the Playground to the Stars for ... a golf tournament!? Check out the estrogen charged parties at Club Skirts and Girl Bar that’ll knock your pantyhose off. Dinah Shore would’ve loved it. Macy, Gray, Katy Perry, Lady GaGa, Indigo Girls, Julie Goldman, The Cliks, Kat Deluna. and others entertain April 1-5. Go to www.TheDinah.com for details.

MARCH ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE

EVENT & LOCATION

CITY

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Arts & Flowers at the Phx. Art Museum SW Leather Pride - various bars Thank GLAAD It’s Friday - BS West Carefree Fine Arts & Wine Festival Men of Charlie’s Contest Miss Phoenix Gay Pride - Memorial Hall Melrose on 7th Ave. Street Fair Art Detour Great AZ Beer Festival - Tempe Town Lake Toga Party - Forbidden Aloha Festival - Tempe Beach Park Ostrich Festival - Tumbleweed Park Exotic Art Show - Alwun House St. Patrick’s Day Parade & Fair - Hance Park Dancing with the Bars - Forbidden Johnny Mc’s Reunion - Apollo’s Scottsdale Art Festival, Civic Center Mall Tits and Tatts - Club Vibe AZ Antique Show - AZ State Fairgrounds Fruits & Suits - Myst Ballroom AZ Dragon Boat Festival - Tempe Town Lake March for Equality - City Hall Wett Party - Woody’s Encanto-Palmcroft Historic Home Tour Renaissance Faire Cactus League Baseball

Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Carefree Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Downtown Phoenix Tempe Scottsdale Tempe Chandler Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Tempe Casa Grande Tucson Phoenix Apache Junction Phoenix & Tucson

The Dinah Palm Springs, CA Are You Hot Enough to be Forbidden? Scottsdale Community Art Expo- Movies on Central Parking Lot, Phoenix March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 25

UNDER THE BIG TOP

PHOENIX ME TROPOLITAN MEN’S CHORUS 26

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David Archuleta We all call him “David ArchADORABLE!” Nearly all of America turned into a hysterical puddle of sighs and tears when this syrupy, sweet, fresh-faced dynamo sang his heart out on American Idol last year. And still came in Second Place. But we love him ‘cause he’s so darn cute! See this 16 year-old sing at the Marquee Theatre, 730 N. Mill Ave. in Tempe on Monday, March 16. Phone: 480-829-0727

Etta James This soulful singer’s career has spanned ﬁve decades and is part of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. She almost sang for President Obama. You can hear this legendary jazz songbird perform “At Last” at the Celebrity Theatre. Just don’t tell Beyoncé. Bad blood. 440 N. 32nd St. Phoenix. Tix: 602-267-160

Elton John & Billy Joel These two aging legends of rock ‘n’ roll go at it “Face 2 Face” - again. The Rocket Man and Piano Man will sing duets, play twin pianos and trade vocals for all of the Honkey Cats out there who love these moldy-oldies. They’ll be at the US Airways Center. 201 E. Jefferson. Tix: 480-784-4444

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The Pretenders Slipknot Temptations Jimmy Eat World Kenny Loggins Kenny Thames Rascal Flatts & Jessica Simpson Frankie Vallie & Manhattan Transfer The Irish Rovers David Archuleta Metal Elvis / St. Patty’s Day Block Party Etta James and the Roots Band Elton John & Billy Joel

Dodge Theatre Jobing.com Arena Celebrity Theatre Marquee Theatre Celebrity Theatre Clarendon Hotel Cricket Wireless Pavilion Dodge Theatre Mesa Arts Center Marquee Theatre Scottsdale Celebrity Theatre US Airways Center

April 3 4

Kid Rock & Cowboy Mouth All-American Rejects

Tempe Beach Park Tempe Beach Park March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM

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Written by Dave Jackson davekjackson@cox.net

Yo, DJ! What’s New? Check out new albums in March from Chris Isaak, Madaleine Peyroux, New Found Glory, Lionel Richie, Static-X, Royksopp, The Decemberists, Prodigy, Taylor Hicks, Diana Krall along with these great selections…

U2 - No Line on the Horizon

Penned as the album they’ve always wanted to create, U2 makes a daring splash. Though a bit experimental in parts, ﬁnd solace in lead single Get on Your Boots, the perfect intro with its Vertigo like similarity. Then there’s Crazy Tonight, a song that ﬂexes muscle with a commercial pop sound that will make it a classic. However, Every Breaking Wave; the retro electronic track, is sure to invoke some Zooropa pangs. But on Cedars, Bono brings you back home with his atmospheric spell. This album is rock, choral, electronic, bluesy, gritty; all in true U2 form.

Chris Cornell – Scream

After many set-backs, Chris is ready to shock the world by jumping on the Timbaland bandwagon. With an R&B vibe, Cornell makes the Björk/ Timbo combo look like kindergarten. Inspired by Pink Floyd’s The Wall, the album opens safely with a typical Timba bassline in the title track. But, it’s on Ground Zero with its repetitive yelp and on Watch Out, a Gwen/No Doubt-esque tune, where Chris shines. And then there’s Long Gone, the mid-tempo ballad that is the brightest spot. This will surely upset fans, however; it will inspire new listeners much in the way One Republic did last year.

Kelly Clarkson – All I Ever Wanted

Kelly is sticking to her deal with Clive after the lackluster release of My December and it just may save her career. Back are the catchy phrases we enjoyed in Breakaway and gone are the angry, emotive sounds of despair. Working with the frontman from One Republic, Wanted has an edgier appeal, but with the radio friendly la la la’s we grew to love. #1 song My Life... is Since You’ve Been Gone part two, while tentative 2nd single Hook UP, the Katy Perry track, keeps that momentum. Other tracks of note include the cover of Save You and Ready. Overall, call this damage control.

Erasure – Total Pop

Erasure finally jumps on the digital bandwagon by presenting their first digitally remastered album. Incorporating all of their hits, this 2 disc set is a perfect bundle of joy. For you true fans, find the deluxe version, for it contains 15 additional live tracks from a culmination of their best tours. And if that isn’t enough, find the accompanying remixed EP of early dancified hits as icing on the cake. Oh how Chains of Love, Oh Lamour, A Little Respect and Chorus have never sounded better. In other music news, listen up for the emerging MySpace phenomenon Anjulie. A 3 track EP was released late last year to great applause and she now looks to follow in the footsteps of Katy Perry. Part Nelly Furtado, part MIA, part Lily Allen, this artist is full of potential with her 60’s vibe. Be hip and impress your friends by being ahead of the curve! Until next month … March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 31

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by Kimberly M. Ruff kimberlymruff@yahoo.com

Movie Previews Watchmen

Starring: Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino Based on the famous graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, The Watchmen has both their storytelling zeal and the cinematic appeal of director, Zack Snyder (300). Set in the bipolar world of 1985, superheroes have been forbidden to practice their trade by the government. When the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) mysteriously dies, however, Rorschach (Jackie Earl Haley) and his colleagues team up to investigate and solve the crime. For you fans of superheroes and comics, Watchmen artistically combines the superhero tabloids with science ﬁction literature to bring you a dystopian view of the increasingly unstable, erratic world of the Cold War. Breathtaking cinematography, action, and intrigue seal their fate of one a provocative, thought-provoking work. Release Date: March 06, 2009.

Tokyo!

Directors, Joon-ho Bong (Gwoemul), Leos Carax (Boy Meets Girl), and Michel Gondry (Be Kind Rewind, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) team up to bring a cinematic triptych of three, forty-minute segments about life in the 21st Century. Bong’s “Shaking Tokyo” tells the tale of a recluse whose life is built on the foundation of literature and take-out, when a lovely delivery girl and an earthquake disrupt

his pattern. Carax’s “Merde” takes its cue from the Japanese Godzilla films by following the monster, Merde, as he terrorizes Tokyo with his insatiable appetite for money and flora. Gondry’s “Interior Design” involves the transformation of two Japanese artists lives as they learn to adapt when moving to the city. All are surrealist in nature, combing technical prowess with storytelling ableness. If you’re a fan of experimental cinema, this is a definite must see. Release Date: March 06, 2009.

I Love You, Man Starring: Paul Rudd, Jason Segal, Rashida Jones, Andy Samberg

Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) has everything: the career, the fiancé, the life. The only problem is, he doesn’t have any friends. This normally wouldn’t bother him, but the idea of standing solo on the groom’s side during his wedding is less than thrilling. Thus, he plunges head first into the arduous task of finding a best friend and a best man. I Love You, Man is a typical romantic comedy, with a twist: its audience is men (most likely of the Judd Apatow crowd) and it replaces romantic relationships with platonic ones. Predictable but humorous, if you saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Superbad, or The 40 Year Old Virgin, you’ll enjoy I Love You, Man. Plus, let’s admit it: Paul Rudd is very easy on the eyes… Release Date: 03/20/09. Questions? Comments? Reach the writer at kimberlymruff@yahoo.com March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 33

MARCH MOVIE OPENINGS DATE 4 6 6 6 13 13 13 13 20 20 20 20 20 27 27 27 27 31

MOVIE 12 Phoebe in Wonderland Horsemen Watchmen The Last House on the Left The Soloist Race to Witch Mountain Miss March Duplicity I Love You, Man Spinning Into Butter Knowing The Great Buck Howard The Accidental Husband Monsters vs. Aliens 12 Rounds The Haunting in Connecticut Hush

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RATING PG-13 PG-13 R R R NYR PG R PG-13 R R PG-13 PG PG-13 PG PG-13 PG13 NYR

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By Bryan Kopp

Television breakout designer Jay McCarroll exposes the high-proďŹ le fashion life beyond the bitches, beads, and blowjobs.

jay mccarroll

eleven minutes in fashion heaven

Television breakout designer Jay McCarroll exposes the high-proﬁle fashion life beyond the bitches, beads, and blowjobs.

Four years after proving he’s a ‘cut above the rest’ by winning Season One of Bravo’s Project Runway, reality-television star Jay McCarroll once again steps into the limelight and debuts his first collection recorded in the new documentary Eleven Minutes, now playing in select theaters all over the country. It pays homage to Isaac Mizrahi’s 1995 film Unzipped, however, McCarroll’s version of the ‘behind-thecurtain lowdown on high fashion,’ speaks colorful volumes and proves why his personality is a media favorite. From Eleven Minutes’ beginning credits, we are enveloped into Jay’s creative world as vibrant as a B-52’s music video. As the film progresses, the beautiful silver lining that audiences believe the design process is limited to, viciously dissipates to reveal the cut-throat, multi-cellular industry of fashion. Eleven Minutes showcases how dealing with overwhelming public scrutiny and a vocally opinionated cast and crew can add insanity to exhaustion, all in order to deliver a brief and spectacular runway event. Cameras follow McCarroll through the entire spectrum, from the end of New York Fashion Week in February to the second show of the year in

September. You would think having cameras on him 24/7 would be invasive to the initial design process, but McCarroll didn’t find it disrupting about it in the slightest. “I’m a fame whore,” he states flamboyantly. “I’m obsessed with myself. It was my idea, and it wasn’t like they were in my face everyday. We had scheduled times to capture the reality, and some days we would dig for ideas, but [watching] the first few cuts I was like, ‘OH GOD!’ Can you imagine watching two hours of a regurgitated version of something you lived already? I don’t know what you did today. Maybe you got Burger King. Maybe you grabbed your crotch at the Walgreen’s, and they make a short, five-minute film and you’re like, ‘Did I really look like that? You’re an asshole!’” McCarroll’s film details how far he has come as we watch the reality television persona flourish into an actual designer. While his milestone success on Project Runway is undoubtedly a celebrated event, fans of the Bravo show were only witness to what paid executives wanted them to see: a false reality. The complexity of separating the inferred idea of what goes on amidst actuality is just what Eleven Minutes superficially exposes. “It’s the first thing I’m doing on my own, my first independent collection.

(Continued)

industry. “I’m not meant to be in that world,” he stated early on. “New York City is hard and people kept sucking up to me when they saw who I was, or when they saw cameras. I hate it. I was at this party and the people from Bloomingdale’s kept trying to slip me their card and I’m like, ‘Look at me... what do I have to offer at Bloomingdale’s?’”

I have no help from anyone from my past, but I also have to be realistic to the fact that I was exposed in a particular medium,” he pauses vacantly then shakes off the recollection of his beginnings on Project Runway. “It was TV. I think a lot of people think that I must have had gotten help from ‘those people.’ I don’t know what they’re thinking because the minute I was done with that show the cord was cut and I was done. So much of it was me. Ten percent was because of the opportunity, ninety percent of it was my hard work, and that goes unnoticed. Until now.”

The eye-rolling, fake kisses, and utterly bearable pleasantries between übercatty characters are constrained long enough only to build up to the ﬁlm’s climax. But Jay McCarroll does not exclude himself from the bitchy, ego-elite, and insecure. He exclaims, “I’m the walking fucking poster boy for angry insecurity and it’s all for the most stupid end result: a fashion show! I mean, come on. It is the dumbest industry.”

Let it be said, Eleven Minutes does not shy away from the over-worked, under-paid, screaming stand-offs, and introduces a wide array of villainous, salty bitches. One thing stays true: two-faced personalities and their distaste for everything and everyone around them makes for an excellent documentary. The formula is iconic, part of why reality television is so popular. Not being used to that environment, even Pennsylvania native McCarroll had mixed feelings about his staying power in the ‘makeor–break-you’ New York fashion

Thankfully, not all humanity is lost on the designer throughout the hectic experience. McCarroll stays true to his anti-fur beliefs, which fatefully leads to his debut collection funded and publicly advertised by the Humane Society of the United States. When an up-and-coming, already internationally 38

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famed designer speaks out and takes a stand against the multibillion dollar business of animal fur trade, it sends a positive message to the rising artists of tomorrow. Many fashion students and interns worldwide watching this film will see Jay McCarroll as an inspiration and recognize the political staying power one can achieve just by acting upon moral judgment. For the past year McCarroll has also been involved with a nationwide pediatric cancer foundation, a charity called Alex’s Lemonade Stand (ALS). Jay’s had an assortment of his handdrawn stylish graphics printed onto t-shirts; $5.00 from every t-shirt purchased goes to goes to ALS. Get your hands on one of these influential tees at www.jaymccarroll.com, and to learn more about ALS visit www. alexslemonade.org. “I think it’s important to get involved with charities,” dotes the fur-friendly activist, “I don’t have millions of dollars, so I do what I can to give back to the community.” During the chaotic months of premiering his first collection, charities weren’t the only escape for McCarroll. As observed in the documentary, Jay has a slew of indie dreamboats running around halfnaked in his studio during the model fittings. Not to mention that if you look hard enough you’ll see a very well endowed man-doll that the designer refers to as “Bucky,” who then tangentially goes into some

graphic rhyming. From there, Jay also confessed to some devilish fellatio antics, but whether it’s with the animate or the inanimate, boys who work hard like Jay McCarroll, ultimately deserve to play hard. In the end, Jay McCarroll has passion. He has a vision and embodies a new voice that will inﬂuence a creative generation. “Anybody involved in whatever business they are involved in, are there for a reason. You can’t tell me that proctologists don’t have a genuine interest in assholes because they do. For me, I’m in it because I have something to prove through physical things, or beauty things, maybe because I’m a little bit off.” Eleven Minutes is currently showing at Harkins Valley Art Theatre in Tempe and on here!tv available on Cox In Demand Premium Channels.

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by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Reviews After having watched the following ﬁlms I’ve been batting around a clever little title for my article that succinctly sums up their content. You see, both of these movies deal with interracial love. Interestingly, the bigger concern in both is that the romantic relationships featured are interracial, not homosexual. This had led me to conclude that featuring an interracial, homosexual couple is the last cinematic hurdle and once we’ve got this licked, Hollywood will have to remake all of Shakespeare’s works because there will be absolutely no more permutations of conﬂict-laden romantic pairings to feature. This leads me to my title. I’m torn. I don’t know whether I should call it “Miscegenation March” or “The Ides of Interracial March.”

Out at the Wedding

Starring: Andrea Marcellus, Cathy DeBuono, Desi Lydic, Mystro Clark Alex / Lexi (Marcellus) has never had the best relationship with her family. Case in point, her younger debutante sister, Jeannie (Lydic), schedules her wedding on the day of Alex’s 30th Birthday. Thus, when a rumor circulates at the wedding that Alex is Gay and her sister is unexpectedly supportive, Alex doesn’t correct her. After all, she could either be a Lesbian – which is apparently okay – or she could be engaged to a Jewish, African-American man – which might not be according to her perception of Southern moores. Now Jeannie wants to come to New York to meet Alex’s “Dana”, so a panicking Alex hires Risa (DeBuono) to be her beard. It might just work, except … the real Dana’s parents get suspicious and Jeannie is surprisingly ﬂirtatious with Risa. Now who’s lying to whom?

remember Carl Winslow from Family Matters? He’s in it and yet the script is remarkably devoid of our favorite Urkle-ism: “Did I do that?”

Tru Loved

Starring: Najarra Townsend, Matthew Thompson Gertrude “Tru” (Townsend) and her Lesbian moms transfer from insular San Francisco to the suburbs for a job, where she begins dating Lodell (Thompson), the handsome, gregarious Black football star of the local high school. After several dates and no smooches, Tru realizes that Lodell is Gay and helps to coax him out of denial. He admits he is, but isn’t ready to come out of the closet. She plays his social beard until her activism in the Gay-Straight Alliance and blossoming romance with Trevor threaten to undermine Lodell’s plans. Now, it’s up to Lodell to start being not only true with Tru, but true with everyone else and himself. It reeks of an old “ABC After School Special.” Doesn’t necessarily make it bad, it just has a tendency to be heavyhanded at times. The further removed you are from high school and those insecurities and concerns, the harder it is to identify and empathize with the trials and tribulations associated with coming into your own by coming out. At least it doesn’t reek of Cool Water cologne.

It’s a convoluted plot line in which everyone’s spun yarns create a twisted web, but the acting is strong, the characters are likable, and all the loose ends somehow get tied up over pancakes for the better. Besides, March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 41

By Corey Robert Blanchette

he past year has been a phenomenal one for rising star Lady GaGa. She’s enjoyed success with an internationally recognizable #1 single, “Just Dance,” a breakthrough debut album called The Fame, and a tour that has taken her all over the U.S. and abroad, all the while inspiring a ‘Beautiful Dirty Rich’ look and style that has the fashion world abuzz. Lady GaGa, 23, chose her name from the 1984 Queen song “Radio Ga Ga.” She ﬁrst began to make a name for herself on the Lower East Side of New York where her

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ION: Your lead single “Just Dance” has performed so well in so many countries and has shown considerable staying power on radio and in the clubs. How did you feel when “Just Dance” topped the U.S. Hot 100 in January, more than nine months after its initial release? GaGa: I was backstage at my album release party in New York and about to go on stage when they gave me the news. I wanted to cry… but didn’t want to ruin my makeup before hitting the stage! (laughs) My label, management, and crew had all busted their asses getting me to that point. It just made me want to work even harder.

of what pop is and what I am as a pop artist. ION: You’ve openly paid homage to artists like Cyndi Lauper, David Bowie and Liza Minnelli. It’s interesting that as a 23-year-old pop star, you have such great appreciation of music from artists whose fame had peaked even before you were born. How did you become turned on to these earlier generations of music? GaGa: I grew up around it, I tuned into it and I sought it out. That’s why it’s so important to me to be as visual and interesting as I can. It wasn’t just the amazing songs those artists did. They were artistic and visual, and personally for me - that’s the “real deal” - being able to project a compelling image, constantly change it up, and deliver a smash hook, all while delivering an amazing performance in the process.

ION: From a designer/artist perspective, you are deﬁnitely an icon in the fashion world. What kind of impact does it have on you to know that your style is an inﬂuence on fashion today on a global scale?

ION: Your debut album The Fame has been Billboard’s #1 Electronic Album for nearly four months and your follow-up single “Poker Face” just topped the Club & Dance Airplay charts. What other tracks from The Fame are we going to be hearing in the clubs and on the radio?

GaGa: I am doing exactly what I set out to do, to create and share my artistic self with others, whether that’s my music, visual style, or fashion. I am so incredibly fortunate to have the platform that I have to take the music and showcase the fashion and vice-versa. It has always been integrated into one overall ideology

GaGa: Well, there is so much going on with “LoveGame” and “Eh Eh.” Some territories are already working with different tracks, so I see myself having multiple singles at various times, and there are deﬁnitely a lot of different songs from the album to choose from. The March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 43

Photo by meeno 2008

wild handmade costumes and vocal performances served up a dose of shock art to large audiences. We’ll get the chance to experience a Lady GaGa show very soon for ourselves when she takes the stage at Jeffrey Sanker’s White Party in Palm Springs this Easter Weekend. ION Arizona had a chance to interview Lady GaGa about her recent rise to fame and her upcoming headlining performance and discover exactly why the diva has been “sent to Earth to inﬁltrate human culture, one sequin at a time.”

(Continued)

superhero, what would you superpowers be?

Fame is about how anyone can feel famous. Pop culture is art. It doesn’t make you cool to hate pop culture, so I embraced it, and you hear it all over The Fame. But, it’s a sharable fame. I want to invite all of you to the party; I want people to feel a part of this lifestyle.

GaGa: I have as many cat suits as any of the various female superheroes, so it wouldn’t just be about the outﬁt and choosing a superpower that way. I love the fact that the DC Comics character Batwoman is supposedly a lesbian since they reintroduced her. Def props to DC Comics! I’d actually love my own comic book one day. I’d slap the shit out of the Riddler! (laughs) I’d say that we’re all superheroes in our own way. We all have that special gift that we share with everyone else.

ION: You’ve collaborated on recordings with artists like New Kids On the Block, Colby O’Donis, Britney Spears, and Flo Rida. Who would you be especially excited to work with in the future? GaGa: Grace Jones, Scissor Sisters, and Marilyn Manson… I just love the way he dresses! I could go on and on. ION: The theme of White Party this year is “Legion of Superheroes.” If you were a

ION: You’ve said yourself that a live Lady GaGa performance infuses music, fashion, and theater; all these elements combined will make for a fantastic show. Since this event marks the 20th Anniversary of the White Party, will you have a little something special planned for us?

Photo by Aaron Fallon courtesy Interscope

GaGa: You will just have to show up to the White Party and see for yourself. It is going to be one kick ass party. Can’t wait to see you all there! Don’t miss what Lady GaGa has in store for us when she makes her appearance Saturday night, April 11th at Jeffrey Sanker’s White Party in Palm Springs. Check out the ad on page 30 and visit jeffreysanker. com to purchase your White Party tickets. Lady GaGa’s debut album The Fame, featuring the hit tracks “Just Dance” and “Poker Face,” is available now for download, and also at your favorite music retailer. For more information on Lady GaGa, visit her ofﬁcial website, ladygaga.com. 44

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March 2009

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When I have a brand new hairdo, With my eyelashes all in curl, I ﬂoat as the clouds on air do, I enjoy being a girl!

hey say a drag queen is a gay man who wears everything a lesbian won’t. But it takes more than a little bit of lipstick and a powderpuff to transform these men into the glamorous, enchanting creatures we know and love. Our Arizona drag queens serve as ofﬁcial and unofﬁcial hostesses, emcees, spokespeople, community leaders, mascots, entertainers and fabulous celebrities who help brighten things up

with more than a few sequins, glitter and rhinestones. ION takes this opportunity to acknowledge many of the delightful, delicious and de-lovely drag queens who entertain us at the Pride and Rainbow festivals, bars, nightclubs and pageants. Now ION is proud to introduce our monthly listing of Drag Shows so you can ﬁnd your favorite queen. Air kisses to all of the fabulous queens who got dolled up for this feature. Mwah!

Photography... Richard Bolinski & Don Thompson Art Direction... Deon Brown & Kevin Bushaw Production Assistant... Craig Rubin Special Thanks to Kelly, Tom & Roberta at Forbidden & the Miss Copper City Pageant for allowing us to shoot at their club during the event; Chris Bebee for helping to coordinate our efforts; Chris Davis for connecting us with our Tucson Queens; Marcellus Saunders for putting the idea of this crazy project in our heads.

Sasha Sinclair

Savannah March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 49

Diamond Dallas Galilea Susana

Kiki Vermont

Mya McKenzie March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 51

ION PARTY CAM

Devina Ross

Phaedra

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Saelah V.

Mikaila K.

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Barbra Seville Erykah Knowles 54

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SachĂŠ Cartier

Van

Afeelya Bunz

Miss Dottie March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 55

Ajia Simone Pussy LeHoot

Dianne Daniels Big Booty Judy

Claudia B.

Regina Gazelle 56

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Miss Ebony

Trixie Deluxe

drag shows Trannyshack Tuesday at BS West

Miss Kiki Vermont and Miss Saelah V. duke it out every Tuesday-- tranny style! Expect lots of ﬂying wigs and heels. We heard BS West owner Mike Fornelli had Kiki’s vocal cords insured by Lloyds of London, too. I guess Saelah likes to go for the throat. Check ‘em out 1st & 3rd Tuesdays at BS West, 7125 E 5th Ave. (480) 945-9028

MARCH 2009 ION DRAG LISTINGS DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) March 1 8:00 Club Vibe Reigning Men presents Cinemania March 5 10:30 Pumphouse II Savannah’s School of Scandal March 7 3:30 Roscoe’s Chili Cook Off hosted by Phaedra March 7 7:00 Memorial Hall Miss Phoenix Gay Pride - pridepageant.org March 17 Karamba Special St. Patty’s Day SHow w/ Susana March 8, 22 Woody’s Drag Bingo w/ Stella Virgin & Janee Star March 18 10:00 Charlie’s Claudia B. & Co. w/ Phaedra March 26 Karamba Susana’s Birthday, “Party from the Far East” March 28 9:30 Kobalt Kobalt Kabaret w/ Phaedra 1st & 3rd Tues. 9:30 BS West Trannyshack Tuesday w/ Kiki Vermont & Saelah V. Tuesdays 10:30 Karamba Susana’s Show 1st & 3rd Wednesdays Bumsted’s Crazy BINGO Beneﬁtting Reveille w/ Ajia Simone Wednesdays 10:00 Charlie’s Claudia B. & Company Wednesdays 9:30 Wild Card Divas w/ Kiki Vermont & Friends Wednesdays 10:30 Karamba Diamond Dallas Hosts... 1st & 3rd Thurs. 9:00 Club Vibe King of Hearts w/ Anson Reign & Guests 2nd & 4th Thurs. Wild Card Drag B-I-N-G-O w/ Angel Rogers Thursdays 9:00 Incognito Divas After Dark with Dianna K. Shane Thursdays 10:00 The Door Strippers w/ Sasha Sinclair Thursdays 9:30 Amsterdam Icons Live w/ Mya McKenzie & Kiki Vermont Thursdays 10:30 Karamba Susana’s Show Thursdays 10:00 Cherry Lounge Scandalous w/ Special Guest Hosts each week Fridays 10:00 The Door Friday Night Femmes starring Sasha Sinclair Saturdays 9:30 Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show Saturdays 10:30 Pumphouse II Hot Bodz Male Revue w/ Savannah Saturdays 10:00 Wild Card Diamond Dolls w/ Kiki Vermont & Mya McKenzie Saturdays 9:00 Cruisin’ 7th Mom’s Dancing Dolls w/ Regina Gazelle Sundays 8:30 Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends Sundays 5:00 BS West Male Revue w/ Kiki Vermont Sundays 10:30 Apollo’s Greek God Revue w/ Sache VanCartier Sundays 10:30 Karamba Galilea’s Show 1st Sundays 7:30 Apollo’s That Time of the Month w/ Afeelya Bunz 2nd Sunday 7:30 Apollo’s TToTM w w/ Miss Dottie & Dianne Daniels 3rd Sundays 8:00 Club Vibe Showgirl Sunday with Mikaila K 4th Sundays 8:00 Club Vibe Showgirl Sunday with Savannah Last Sunday 7:30 Apollo’s That Time of the Month w/ Barbra Seville To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com Included events must be 1) Charity Beneﬁt OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 57

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January 2009

My First Time

4 Actors. 40,000 stories. One of them may be yours. Hetero or homo? Was it like Christmas morning or in a bathroom at Burger King? Hysterical and heartbreaking, true stories about “ﬁrst time experiences” in this play talks about what we all have in common: the ﬁrst time we ever “did it.” Catch it thru March 15 at Theatre 4301 at 4301 N. Scottsdale Rd. Call 480-994-2787 for tickets.

Around the World in a Bad Mood …Confessions of a Flight Attendant. A hilarious one-woman show with Rene Foss who takes a romp through ﬂight debacles, security strip teases and pistol-packin’ pilots. A must for trolley-dollies and frequent ﬂiers everywhere. Airline employees get $5 discount. Please take your seats at the Chandler Ctr. for the Arts at 250 N. Arizona Ave. or call 480-782-2860 for tix and info. March 19-22.

MARCH 2009 ION THEATER + STANDUP DATE EVENT/ARTIST

LOCATION

PHONE

4 Improv Presentations SMOCA 5-21 Tartuffe Mesa Arts Ctr. 6-7 Adult Puppet Slam Great AZ Puppet Theatre – Phx. 6-28 Nearly Naked’s Killer Joe Phoenix Theatre 7 Evening with Lily Tomlin Orpheum Theatre – Phx. 6-22 Rabbit Hole – Actors Theatre Herberger Theater Ctr. thru 8 The Bluest Eye Black Theatre Troupe – Phoenix 12-15 Richard Lewis Tempe Improv thru 15 My First Time Theatre 4301 – Scottsdale thru 14 Minor Demons Chyro Arts Venue – Scottsdale 17-22 Rent ASU Gammage – Tempe 17, 18 Joseph & Amazing ... Mesa Arts Ctr. 19-22 Around the World in a Bad Mood Chandler Ctr. for the Arts 22 Les Miserables Phoenix Theatre 24-5/5 Reduced Shakespeare Co. Completely HollywoodTheatre 4301 26-29 Henry V Herberger Theater Center 27-4/19 Pippin Phoenix Theatre 31-4/3 Frost/Nixon ASU Gammage – Tempe thru 4/4 The King and I Hale Center Theatre – Gilbert thru 4/10 Girls’ Night Out Herberger Theater Center thru 4/11 Singin’ In The Rain Bway Palms Theatre-Mesa

480-994-2787 480-644-6500 602-262-2050 602-254-2151 602-534-5600 602-252-8497 602-889-5295 480-921-9877 480-994-2787 480-275-4477 480-965-3434 480-644-6500 480-782-2680 602-254-2151 480-994-2787 602-252-8497 602-254-2151 480-965-3434 480-497-1811 602-252-8497 480-325-6700

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602-993-4567 phx 520-791-2345 tuc

Get a Date Tonight! See ad on page 88 (Free code: 4448)

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Put the Blame on Seamus You might wait until St. Patrick’s Day until you wear green, but you don’t have to wait until then to go to Seamus McCaffrey’s Irish Pub and Restaurant in the heart o’ downtown Phoenix. It’s a long way to Tipperary, but it’s only a hop, skip and a jump by the Metro Light Rail. As for the pub grub: the Corned Beef & Cabbage Boxty featured the ubiquitous meat, oh-so-tender and thinly sliced, layered on top of a giant bed of sauteed cabbage with onions. Nestled on the very top is a “boxty” the traditional potato pancake. Not bad, if you like corned beef and cabbage. It would’ve been lovely if the cabbage - and there’s a lot of it - was a bit crisper, preserving more of the true, fresh cabbage taste. But cabbage, like all cruciferous vegetables, can “repeat.” As the Irish say, “Smile, and the world smiles with you. Fart and you sleep alone.” Or something like that. The Fish and Chips you might be expecting aren’t from Long John Silver’s, that’s for sure. McCaffrey’s gives you two generous planks of delicious, thick, beer-battered cod deep fried in Canola oil and served up with a heap of thick steak fries and a generous side of delicious cole slaw. Yep, more cabbage! Toot, toot!

Rykoff Food Service may possibly be used as a base. Just a guess. Seamus McCaffrey’s excels far and away in that treasured, dearly loved recipe revered the world over by Irish and everybody who wishes they were Irish: booze. It’s like that fabled pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, they’ve got so much. Not only do they have a fine selection of ten draught beers on tap, they’ve got more Irish Whiskey on hand than you can imagine, including my boyfriends, Glen: Glenfiddich, Glenlivet, Glen Moray, Glenmorangie, Glenfarclas and Glen Grant. And don’t forget my Johnny Walker. All five of ‘em. Begorrah, just skip the vittles and belly up to the bar. And remember, “May the wind be always at your back.” So nobody’s downwind from you after all that cabbage. Whew! 18 W. Monroe - Downtown Phoenix 602-253-6081 seamusmccaffreys.com

Other Old Country favorites from the Emerald Isle include the Steak & Mushroom Pie with tender steak and mushrooms in a rich, brown gravy and covered with a ﬂaky crust. Surprisingly, it tasted remarkably just like the Steak & Guinness Stout Boxty, which comes with one of those potato pancakes. Tasty, yes, but I highly suspect that a beef gravy from Schilling or McCormick’s Seasoning Mix or a jar o’ gravy from S.E. March 2009

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Jamaal is wearing Button-up shirt by Projek RAW , Jeans by M75 Denim, Hand Made Necklace All available at Dragonﬂy

Shaun is wearing t-shirt by Ve’cel, jeans by M75 Denim, buckle by Buckle Down, Virgin Mary Leather Wallet and Chain, custom-made all available at Dragonﬂy. Converse All Stars from Buffalo Exchange March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 69

Ad donated by ION ARIZONA MAGAZINE

Shaun is wearing a t-shirt by Apartment, jeans by M75 Demin, scarf by Lexy. Shoes are Ltd. Edition Nikes

Jamaal is wearing a V-neck shirt by Apartment, jeans by M75 Denim, rosary custom-made. Shoes by Ed Hardy from Macyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.

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Dawn has a top by Chilli Pepper London, yellow halter top by Chilli Pepper London, jeans by M75 Denim, shoes by Foot Candy Shaun is wearing a fashion t-shirt by Artine, Salmon Westen button-up by Chilli Red London, Jeans by Antik Denim, Shoes are Ltd. Edition Nikes available at Buffalo Exchange

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Dawn is wearing a Bella Dress Bangle bracelet by Details both available at DragonďŹ&#x201A;y

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Dawn is wearing a dress by Aryeh, Shoes by Jacobies & Necklace by Rock Candy. Jamaal is wearing a shirt by Chilli Red London all from DragonďŹ&#x201A;y

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BAR WITH BENEFITS WEEKEND

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Photo Credits

Photography Don Thompson thompsonimage.com Art Direction Kevin Bushaw ionaz.com Wardrobe provided by Gabriel Diaz from Dragonﬂy Boutique 1718 W. Van Buren St., phoenix myspace.com/funkydragonﬂy Mens’ Shoes provided by Buffalo Exchange 730 E. Missouri, Phoenix (602) 532-0144 Makeup Anton Khachaturian adonisstar03@yahoo.com Hairstyling Michelle King a.k.a. DJ SisterSin djsistersin@hotmail.com Production Assistant Craig Rubin Models Dawn Yazzie Jamaal Pittman Shaun Thompson

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ION PARTY CAM

By Corey Robert Blanchette

katy perry FOR MORE PARTY CAMS, GO TO WWW.IONAZ.COM 80 by WWW.IONAZ.COM March 2009 Photos Michael Elins

aty Perry has gone from virtual obscurity to superstardom in just a short year’s time. The release of her single “Ur So Gay” and the mad props it received from Madonna during a radio interview helped put Katy Perry on our radar. Once she was on it she did not disappoint. Her follow-up single “I Kissed a Girl” topped the charts in 20 countries including the U.S. Katy Perry will be performing at Club Skirts during Dinah Shore Weekend, Friday, April 3rd in Palm Springs where the world’s largest girl party will be taking place. ION had a chance to talk with Katy where she gave us a look at her background and upbringing, at the effects that a sudden rise to fame can have on you, and a glimpse of what we will see at her headlining performance at The Dinah this year.

process, literally the last two days that we were in the studio. I had this idea still and it wouldn’t go away, so I just decided since it was still so prevalent in the back of my mind after a year and a half of dreaming it up, I should probably ﬁnish this song. I thought maybe it would be popular with a certain group of people, or in L.A. and New York, but I never realized that it would be a worldwide sing-along from Australia to Mexico, to Japan and to Belgium. ION: You’ve been asked the question, “If you could kiss one female celebrity and like it, which one would it be?” so many times, and some of the girls’ names you’ve given in your responses have generated some media buzz on occasion.

KP: Well, that question has been asked probably as many times as the ION: Hey, Katy, “I Kissed question, “Have you ever a Girl” has unexpectedly really kissed a girl?” has been catapulted you into superstardom, asked! So, yes, everybody, I have kissed and it’s a song that you had a hand in a girl! And I stopped telling everybody writing, as well. How did you come up who I thought was hot because it with the idea to write this particular becomes next day’s news of like, “Holy song? As the lead writer of the song, shit, she wants to make out with Scarlett tell us how it came about. Johansson!” And I’m, like, “Well, not really.” I was just answering a question, KP: Well, I woke up one morning and I because she is hot and we all know it! had this song literally pop into my head, It takes a certain beautiful mermaid, I the chorus of it, “I kissed a girl and I liked guess. it; the taste of her cherry ChapStick; I kissed a girl just to try it; I hope my ION: On April 3rd you’re going to be boyfriend don’t mind it.” And I thought, headlining Club Skirts at Dinah Shore what a peculiar little idea. I thought that Weekend in Palm Springs, arguably it was a ﬂuke accident of an idea and the world’s largest girl party. What that nothing would ever happen with it kind of performance do you have … until the end of my record-making March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 81

(Continued)

planned for the lovely ladies of The Dinah? KP: The Dinah Shore is going to be amazing event. I felt very happy about being asked to play for a group of beautiful women. This time I’ll be able to play the whole record and it’ll be exciting to see the audience go on that personality roller coaster with me. I’m also bringing some advantageous production. I like to see the show come to life. I like to see the eye candy and I’m deﬁnitely bringing a load of eye candy! ION: One thing that you and I have in common is that we come from families with strong Christian upbringings and religious backgrounds. In your case, both your parents are ministers. Obviously some Christian denominations are more critical of pop music and pop culture than

others, and they can be especially so with a young artist who’s released singles called called “Ur So Gay” and “I Kissed a Girl.” So, how does your family feel about your hit songs and your success, and do you have their support? KP: My family is definitely very supportive. I have pushed their envelope from the day I was born! If there was a line you shouldn’t cross, I took a big leap over it. That has always been me; there’s never really been an ‘edit’ button on my keyboard of life, so my parents weren’t so shocked when I began singing what I think were very frank or honest songs. My family is a different breed of Christians. Sometimes people picture my parents as wearing the priest outfit, and I’m like, “No, actually, my dad has four tattoos … and they all happen to say Jesus.” He’s almost like a modern rock & roll pastor himself. My dad’s got a bit of a Pentecostal flair and he’s hilarious. I was raised non-denominational Christian but it was more Evangelical. It was like that stuff you see on television. I was raised with certain ideas about what the Bible says. Now, as an adult in a whole new world that I didn’t even know existed, I definitely have different perspectives and I’m very much not a poster child for anything perfect, organized, or cookie cutter. I have my own beliefs, and I don’t know all the answers, nor do I like to impress them on anybody else. I definitely think that we agree to disagree on some things but I don’t think that is unusual with a kid and their parents’ relationship. They’re very supportive and always telling me they’re praying for me and I appreciate it.

ION: You have a big gay following and it’s likely some of that following is due to the lyrics in your songs. Do you think there are other reasons that you attract a gay and lesbian fan base? And as a recording artist and activist, what do you consider your relationship with the gay community to be? KP: I have a lot of different followings. I appreciate my gay following, thank you. I’m attracted to big personalities and like to emulate big personalities. I like making people happy and making people smile. I am a gay activist and I say that proudly. I voted NO on Proposition 8, of course, so I’ve come a long way from where I was raised. When I moved out of my home I started meeting all different types of people. It didn’t matter what their sexual orientation was. I started to be more open about the people I met, even though I was raised to believe, These people aren’t good; you can’t be friends with them. It didn’t matter if they were gay or straight; I started to meet fantastic, inspiring people that became my friends… my best friends, and people that helped me along the way. I’ve always been a very openminded person, and I deﬁnitely believe in equality.

you actually listen to the whole record, there are actual songs on there! Everybody will be wondering, “Hey, can she do it again, or was she just lucky?” And it’ll be exciting to show that this is what I do; this is my job and I try and put my best foot forward every single time. Katy Perry will be headlining at Club Skirts during Dinah Shore Weekend in Palm Springs performing Friday night, April 3rd. For more information and for tickets to Dinah Shore Weekend, visit www.thedinah.com. Katy’s album One of the Boys is available now. For more information on Katy Perry, visit her website at www.katyperry.com

ION: Where are you at in terms of thinking about your next album? One of the Boys is still a top album right now. Do you know the direction you want to take your next album? KP: I think it’s going to be exciting to start making the next record. I’ll start really thinking about that at the end of summer. We may squeeze one more single out of the album, because if

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Vol. 2, Issue 12

MARCH 2009

�� OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

��

Olympic Champ Phelps to Hawk Gold Medal Bongs

��

BALTIMORE - Michael Phelps, The Greatest Olympian of All Time, who shattered gold medal records at the Olympic Games in Beijing in 2008 is rumored to be the celebrity spokesperson for a smoking paraphernalia manufacturer.

asked me,” said Phelps when he received the offer. “I mean, like, I’m an Olympian, man, y’know? But then they gave me some Doritos, Entenmann’s cookies, Pringles, Skittles and Little Debbie’s and I’m all, like, ‘Cool, dudes!’ I’m, like, all over this shizzle, man! Who needs Speedo?”

An incriminating photo recently emerged of Phelps smoking what is Phelps will promote the company’s assumed to be marijuana from a bong at a complete line of bongs, hookahs, pipes fraternity party at the University of North and rolling papers. Photos of the Olympic Carolina last November. Since then, the �� champion will show him toking a spliff world famous swimmer has lost millionwith the caption, “Take Acapulco Gold with dollar endorsements from Kellogg’s Corn Phelps, Man!™” Flakes and other products.

��

Phelps will now be the celebrity stoner for manufacturer Wacky Tabacky Bongs ‘n’ Things “head”quartered in Santa Cruz, California.

The swimmer aspires to be the celebrity spokesperson for Hot Pockets in the future. Look for Michael Phelps Bongs ‘N’ Shit coming soon to a head shop near you.

�� “I was, like, ‘Whoa, dude!’ when they

�� March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 85

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��

Boy George Model Prisoner ��

��

We’ve snogged LONDON a few times George O’Dowd, ourselves, but 47, familiarly of course, we’re known to the English. That’s world as the what we do.” colorful and �� ﬂamboyant One guard entertainer “Boy reported, “Boy George” was George is a decent sentenced to bloke. ‘E’s made spend 15 months more license plates in London’s here than any other Pentonville inmate. Lovely Prison for custom Boy abducting and George license beating a known “rent boy” Audun plates are available in our gift shop, next Carlsen in London in April, 2007. to the old gallows, down the hall, on the left. You can’t miss it. We’ve shagged “He’s been a model poof of a �� prisoner,” said one inmate and friend a time or two. Lovely arse, ‘e ‘as. But remember, we’re English. We do these of George, Mr Cyril “Nancy Boy” kinds of things.” Carstairs, a Hampstead green grocer convicted of killing a family of ﬁve Pentonville Prison warden, Governor with poisoned Spotted Dick Pudding Nick Leader said, “George has been last year at Boxing Day. “We’ve lovely bugger, really. He makes lovely shared a few fags and he’s been the scones. We’ve rutted a time or two. But karaoke meister for several Culture remember, we’re English.” Club Singalongs here at High Tea.

��

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��

Octomom and Jolie Corner Baby Market �� WHITTIER, Calif. - Nadya Suleman, 33, dubbed “Octomom” by the media, who gave birth to octuplets on January 26, 2009 is rumored to team up with Oscar winner in a mission to adopt, purchase, steal every baby on the planet or just make more.

will be beneﬁcial,” Jolie and Suleman said. “The babies will hardly be able to tell us apart! Madonna only has one baby from Malawi. We’re getting all the rest of the babies on earth!”

Jolie and Suleman, who bear an eery, uncanny resemblance to one another have an unnaturally bizarre maternal instinct that craves mothering more and more babies. Jolie has three natural children and adopted three more, while Suleman has about seventy-two babies or something like that.

babies is difﬁcult, but that they have “plenty of love to share.” Critics questioned the serial mothers about the children’s futures and what happens when the children reach their teen years.

�� The mom’s both agree that caring for the

“They’ll never grow up. Never, ever, ever. They’ll always be babies. Our babies,” said Jolie and Suleman.

�� “We believe that looking so much alike

�� 88 WWW.IONAZ.COM March 2009

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IONPHOENIX 1.

Amsterdam

718 N. Central Ave. - Downtown Phoenix

(602) 258-6122

Apollo’s

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 277-9373

Bar 1

3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

(602) 266-9001

BS West

7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(480) 945-9028

Bunkhouse

4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 200-9154

Cash Inn

2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 244-9943

Charlie’s

727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 265-0224

Cherry Bar

1028 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 277-7729

Cherry Lounge

Every Thursday starting January 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe

10.

The Chute Men’s Club

1440 E Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 234-1654

Clarendon Hotel

401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix

(602) CLARENDON

11.

Club Vibe

3031 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 224-9977

12.

Cruisin’ 7th

3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 212-9888

13.

Dick’s Cabaret

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 274-DICK

14.

The Door

1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Tempe

(602) 967-DOOR

15.

Forbidden

6820 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

forbiddenaz.com

16.

Homme

138 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0875

17.

icepics videobar

3108 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 267-8707

18.

Incognito

2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 955-9805

19.

Karamba

1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231

20.

Kobalt

3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 264-5307

21.

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 242-5114

22.

Plazma

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477

23.

Pumphouse II

4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 275-3509

24.

Retro Bar

3114 E. Cactus Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 493-0355

25.

The Rock

4129 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 248-8559

26.

Roscoe’s

4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 285-0833

27.

Taylor’s Tavern

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 867-2463

28.

Velocity

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 956-2885

29.

Wild Card

801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler

(480) 857-3088

30.

Z Girl Club

4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 265-3233

March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 91

IONBAR GUIDE PHOENIX

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Apollo’s*

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BS West*

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Charlie’s

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Cherry Bar*

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Cherry Lounge - Tempe

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Dick’s Cabaret

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Karamba

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Pumphouse II

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WWW.IONAZ.COM March 2009

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602-200-2000 602-252-5252 602-437-4000

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IF IT’S NOT IN��, IT’S HAPPENING! 93 MarchNOT 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM

WWW.IONAZ.COM March 2009

IONTUCSON

CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Ain’t Nobody’s Biz Colors Howl at the Moon IBT’s Miguel’s Mexican Restaurant Venture-N Woody’s Yard Dog

2900 E. Broadway 5305 E. Speedway 915 W. Prince Rd. 616 N. 4th Ave. 5900 N. Oracle Rd. 1239 N. 6th Ave. 3710 N. Oracle Rd. 2449 N. Stone

(520) 318-4838 (520) 323-1840 (520) 293-7339 (520) 882-3053 (520) 887-3777 (520) 882-8224 (520) 292-6702 (520) 624-3858

445 S. Alvernon Way 5335 E. Broadway Blvd. 5900 N. Oracle Rd. 204 S. Scott Ave. 3800 E. Sunrise Dr.

(520) 881-4200 (520) 745-2700 (520) 887-4800 (877) 670-9022 (520) 742-6000

ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING 1 2 3 4 5

Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park Embassy Suites La Posada Lodge and Casitas Royal Elizabeth B&B The Westin La Paloma

March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 95

CHARLIE’S MARDI GRAS

FOR MORE PARTY CAMS, GO TO WWW.IONAZ.COM 96

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March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 97

by Addison DeWitt

With temperatures climbing closer to the century mark it looks like we’re bidding “adieu” to what passes for winter and spring here in Arizona and “hello” to summer. But remember, one swallow doth not a summer make. But if there’s anybody out there who does swallow, please let me know. Everybody in town attended the wildly popular Phoenix Metropolitan Men’s Chorus blockbusting concert, “Under the Big Top” if for no other reason to ﬁnd out exactly how big the highly vaunted “top” is. But audiences delighted at the antics of Emmy Award winning special guest Leslie Jordan, who made drive-by laughing appearances at Kobalt and Apollo’s the night before the event. Lend me a tenor! Please! And I know exactly which one I’d like to run through some scales with. I’ve just learned that the oh--so-dreamy-and-gorgeous merry PMMC chorister Zack Kocher (pictured top) just went through a D-I-V-O-R-C-E and I’m just heartbroken Musically, Zack, let’s just say I’m a “fermata” -- so “hold me.” A little music theory joke there. Okay, very little. Aﬁcionados of music included socialites Jason Benjamin with pals Mark

Lubinski and Nicholas Scrogham. And who can resist Rocco Meneguale and FEZmeister Mark Howard (pictured below)? A pretty girl is like a melody. So I guess that a man dressed like a pretty girl is an entire philharmonic symphony orchestra. You could almost smell the excitement in the air - along with the scent of Botox, collagen injections and silicone implants for The Miss Gay Arizona USofA and Reina del Sol USofA Classic (now that’s a mouthful! And I love a mouthful.) at the swanky Wyndham Hotel. There’s nothing like waving a big, sparkly crown in front of a ballroom full of drag queens to get them salivating and lipsynching to a Britney Spears number. These dudes certainly looked like ladies. Kudos to BS West’s very own Mike Fornelli and crew who engineered the High Heel Derby for these ﬁne ﬁllies in frocks who performed so outstandingly. A Who’s Who of Drag, including Divinity (who does not recycle, I happen to know) in real boy clothes as well as Saché VanCartier, a.k.a A.C. seated with Apollo’s Lee Revelle and Ron Lindblad who chatted with the loveliest Mikaila K. The super-fun Mistresses of Ceremonies in Mascara, the inimitable Barbra Seville March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 99

and the irrepressible Lucinda Holiday officiated the Girdle Girlie Glamorama. Seville just celebrated 10 fabulous years in lipstick. Seems like only yesterday I knew her in her first training bra and a her first half-slip. A big Max Factor Bistro Red kiss ‘n’ congrats go out to you, ou, Barbra! I was disappointed, however, to note that the stripping songbird David Hernandez who was slated to help judge the pageant was a last minute no-show. I was hoping he’d entertain the crowd with some pole dancing and maybe a lap dance or two. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Nope, folks, sorry. It never gets old. I kill myself sometimes! Loyal readers may recall that quite some time ago I not-so-subtly alluded to the imminent closure of the fabled bar of yesteryear, NuTowne Saloon. Okay, so it wasn’t that imminent. But, yes, the rickety old tinderbox on East Van Buren that was host to one of the most notorious beer busts in the history of

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Phoenix was ignominiously shuttered and sold after 38 years as a gay bar. See? I told you that my predictions would be realized within the fullness of time. And you naysayers said that I’m crazy. Bah! Now it’s really ofﬁcial: Apollo’s is now the oldest, continuously running gay/alternative lifestyle bar in Phoenix and more popular than ever, thanks to Ron, Lee and their staff. Congratulations! Our Party Penguin of the Month is the handsome Devin Slayton! If you can Slayton wear a fabulous piece of Aretha Franklinesque millinery like that es and get away with it you deserve to win! Let celebrate St. Let’s Patty’s Day with our Irishman in the White House, President O’Bama! Government cheese & Lucky Charms for everyone! Tell Addison all of your secret innermost wants and desires. And those of others, while your at it. E-mail him at RumorHound@aol.com

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March 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 101

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20

This March you’ll need to pinch your pretty little pennies. Cut out all the trivial things in life that are draining your bank account and stop tossing coins in to a wishing well for goodness’ sake.

suck it up and be the butt of a few jokes. Don’t worry, next month you can go back to blaming everyone else for everything.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov. 23

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

It’s time for some serious retail therapy. Bust into your freezer, thaw out that forbidden credit card and get crazy. Just make sure to save the receipts for all the returns you’ll need to make rent in April.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

It’s about time you have your own theme song. Take this month to brainstorm different options and test out your new underscore to life. Insist you friends play it whenever you make an entrance in to a room.

Beware of the cracks in the crystal ball. Nobody is capable of predicting your blurry future. You won’t even be able to turn to your gossipy hairdresser for advice this month.

Make March a month to pay thanks (or kiss ass). Sending ﬂowers and thank you notes will earn you serious brownie points that are going to help you get out of a melodramatic jam in April.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Feeling uninspired? Do something crazy to bring a new perspective to your life. I would suggest getting drunk and venturing out into public.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

It’s time to clean up your dirty ways with a little spring cleaning. Bust out your Swiffer and start scrubbing away at your most ﬁlthy habits in order to reveal a sparkling new Spic ‘n’ Span you.

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Your Little Black Book can expect a record inﬂux in entries this month. But don’t get too cocky becase your swagger will come with ten times the amount of rejection.

Libra Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

It’s all your fault. This month you’ll have to

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March 2009

Sagittarius Nov. 23-Dec. 23

Capricorn Dec. 23- Jan. 20

Get lucky in love this month. Take a chance on a potential mate you may have never otherwise considered (or perhaps found repulsive). If you don’t score big by the end of March, cash in your chips and just buy a hooker.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

They say that April showers bring May ﬂowers. Honey, you should spend part of March stocking up on raincoats, umbrellas, and rubber boots, because this couldn’t be more true than for you. Enjoy March because your May forecast is looking like hurricane season.

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20

Girl, you so crazy! Prove it to them by becoming obsessed about a new hobbie like Origami or quilting. Make sure to talk nonstop about your new found love of paper folding and fabric stitching. Start a blog. Yeah, that will show them who’s loco.

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