ION Arizona Janaury 2009

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Happy New Year!

I love a new year. You begin with a clean slate. Put your mistakes behind you and start new. Even ION is sporting a new look.

I have to admit it, I am a periodical publication lover (obviously). When I was a kid, I loved Playstation, Exercise, XY Magazines along with the then controversial Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. As an adult, I love Time, Consumer Reports, Motor Trend, MacWorld and Instinct. I subscribe to each of them. So the fact that ION, which is as good as all of these combined (okay, I’m biased) and free to the public, is why I love ION. January is one of my favorite months.

This is our annual AGRA Road Runner Regional Rodeo issue. For those of you who have been to the rodeo before, you know how much fun it can be. For those who have never been, get ready for a weekend of non-stop excitement. Drop by the ION Arizona booth, say “hello” and get your souvenir photo on the cover!

When I moved to Arizona, I lived in Tempe. I loved to go to Mill Avenue, but was disappointed that there were no gay clubs. Today, we are announcing that not only is The Door back open with new management, but the Cherry Lounge on Mill Avenue is starting their first ever gay night every Thursday starting January 15th.

It will be like no other. Man Candy, the sexy acrobatic male Scandelesque` team is just a taste of what you’re in store for. Check out the YouTube video at www.ionaz.com.

Join ION in Tempe to see what all the buzz is about.

You know those annoying scrolling tickers on the bottom of all the news programs?

Well, now we got one on our website! But 10

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

ours is on top (like me) and ours is great! Our community changes so fast it would make your head spin. Here we will tell you what is going on as soon as we know it. Bar openings, special events, what’s happening this weekend, who’s in the news, good or bad. It’s updated frequently so check back daily.

The long awaited, controversial and expensive Metro Light Rail makes its debut this month. We bring you a feature highlighting our new light rail and some of our advertisers, businesses and landmarks that are assessible. Whether you love it or hate, you can’t deny that it looks cool and makes Phoenix seem more like a big city. After all, we are the fifth largest in the nation. I’m fortunate because I live near a light rail station and our offices are, too. I plan to take the Light Rail to work and back almost every day.

Our pick for Party Penguin of the Month is President-Elect Barack Obama.

This gentle-man certainly has his work cut out for him. It has yet to be seen if hope will turn into prosperity, but isn’t it awesome to feel good about politics and our future again? I wish the soon to be first African-American President Obama all the luck in the future.

Have a great January.

Get out and have some fun. Don’t forget to pick up free condoms at your local bar courtesy of Project Hard Hat. Happy New Year!

Jack Tesorero Publisher January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 11

Happy New Year!

I love a new year. You begin with a clean slate. Put your mistakes behind you and start new. Even ION is sporting a new look.

I have to admit it, I am a periodical publication lover (obviously). When I was a kid, I loved Playstation, Exercise, XY Magazines along with the then controversial Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. As an adult, I love Time, Consumer Reports, Motor Trend, MacWorld and Instinct. I subscribe to each of them. So the fact that ION, which is as good as all of these combined (okay, I’m biased) and free to the public, is why I love ION. January is one of my favorite months.

This is our annual AGRA Road Runner Regional Rodeo issue. For those of you who have been to the rodeo before, you know how much fun it can be. For those who have never been, get ready for a weekend of non-stop excitement. Drop by the ION Arizona booth, say “hello” and get your souvenir photo on the cover!

When I moved to Arizona, I lived in Tempe. I loved to go to Mill Avenue, but was disappointed that there were no gay clubs. Today, we are announcing that not only is The Door back open with new management, but the Cherry Lounge on Mill Avenue is starting their first ever gay night every Thursday starting January 15th.

It will be like no other. Man Candy, the sexy acrobatic male Scandelesque` team is just a taste of what you’re in store for. Check out the YouTube video at www.ionaz.com.

Join ION in Tempe to see what all the buzz is about.

You know those annoying scrolling tickers on the bottom of all the news programs?

Well, now we got one on our website! But 10

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

ours is on top (like me) and ours is great! Our community changes so fast it would make your head spin. Here we will tell you what is going on as soon as we know it. Bar openings, special events, what’s happening this weekend, who’s in the news, good or bad. It’s updated frequently so check back daily.

The long awaited, controversial and expensive Metro Light Rail makes its debut this month. We bring you a feature highlighting our new light rail and some of our advertisers, businesses and landmarks that are assessible. Whether you love it or hate, you can’t deny that it looks cool and makes Phoenix seem more like a big city. After all, we are the fifth largest in the nation. I’m fortunate because I live near a light rail station and our offices are, too. I plan to take the Light Rail to work and back almost every day.

Our pick for Party Penguin of the Month is President-Elect Barack Obama.

This gentle-man certainly has his work cut out for him. It has yet to be seen if hope will turn into prosperity, but isn’t it awesome to feel good about politics and our future again? I wish the soon to be first African-American President Obama all the luck in the future.

Have a great January.

Get out and have some fun. Don’t forget to pick up free condoms at your local bar courtesy of Project Hard Hat. Happy New Year!

Jack Tesorero Publisher January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 11

CLUB MIJO

T HURSDAYS @ SK Y LOUN GE - DOW N TOW N PHO ENI X

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CLUB MIJO

T HURSDAYS @ SK Y LOUN GE - DOW N TOW N PHO ENI X

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ION ARIZONA CENTER 3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012 (602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com PUBLISHER Jack M. Tesorero ....................... jacktesorero@me.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ............. ionproduction@me.com EDITOR AND CONTENT CZAR Deon Brown ................................... ioneditor@me.com PRODUCTION & ARTWORK ionproduction@me.com ADVERTISING SALES Jack Tesorero, Ext 6 ........................ ionsales@me.com PHOTOGRAPHERS: Carl James Richard Bolinski Don Thompson Jerry O’Conner Ken McKenzie NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS: Dave Jackson Corey Blanchette Ted Kirby Wes Bergman David Alan Maxey Addison DeWitt Kim Ruff Helena Grayson Paul Sanchez Gary Guerin

TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS, CALL (602) 308-4662.

Published monthly by

© 2009 Tesorero Omni Media

a JMT Designs, Inc. company

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED PRINTED IN THE USA All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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ION ARIZONA CENTER 3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012 (602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com PUBLISHER Jack M. Tesorero ....................... jacktesorero@me.com CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ............. ionproduction@me.com EDITOR AND CONTENT CZAR Deon Brown ................................... ioneditor@me.com PRODUCTION & ARTWORK ionproduction@me.com ADVERTISING SALES Jack Tesorero, Ext 6 ........................ ionsales@me.com PHOTOGRAPHERS: Carl James Richard Bolinski Don Thompson Jerry O’Conner Ken McKenzie NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 CONTRIBUTORS: Dave Jackson Corey Blanchette Ted Kirby Wes Bergman David Alan Maxey Addison DeWitt Kim Ruff Helena Grayson Paul Sanchez Gary Guerin

TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS, CALL (602) 308-4662.

Published monthly by

© 2009 Tesorero Omni Media

a JMT Designs, Inc. company

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED PRINTED IN THE USA All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent company.

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of such content.

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STRIP SEARCH ION PARTY CAM

HELLRAISERS

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IONPARTYCAM

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STRIP SEARCH ION PARTY CAM

HELLRAISERS

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Get a Date Tonight!

602-993-4567 Phoenix 520-791-2345 Tucson See ad on page 88 (Free code: 4448) 18

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Get a Date Tonight!

602-993-4567 Phoenix 520-791-2345 Tucson See ad on page 88 (Free code: 4448) 18

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Kilate Norteño at Karamba “The Door” is Back!

Who says opportunity only knocks once?

It knocked on The Door and it’s open again!

Join in the fun for another Grand (re)Opening on Saturday, January 10. They’ve got drink specials, entertainment, party favors and more! Just ring The Door-bell at 1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. in Tempe. Phone: 480-967-DOOR. No door-to-door salesmen, please.

Join all of your amigos at Karamba Nightclub for their Martin Luther King, Jr. celebration on Sunday, January 18.

Dance the night away while you enjoy listening to Kilate Norteño. They’ll be giving away their music CDs to the first 200 fans that come to Karamba at 1724 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-254-0231

Chi Chi LaRue at Woody’s

Do you know Larry Paciotti? No? Well, you probably know him as the notorious Porn Princess Chi Chi LaRue. January 24th, she’s bringing her stable of stars like the super hot Blake Riley, Jason Sechrest and pal Sister Roma to Woody’s in Tucson. What can you say besides, “Yum, yum!” Everyone who comes gets a free hard-on! See you there! 3710 N. Oracle Rd. Phone: 520292-6702

Sexy Sundays at Forbidden

Forbidden fruit causes many jams– wink, wink. Starting January 11 discover “Sexy Sundays” at Forbidden with DJ Red & DJ MJ spinning in two bars, win prizes, giveaways and win VIP passes! It’s open to 18+ but you have to be 21 to drink. 6820 E. 5th Ave. in Scottsdale.

Phone: 480-994-5176

JANUARY ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE

Scandal at the Cherry Lounge

Calling all scandal vandals! Come to the Cherry Lounge & Pit as they start Scandalous Thurdays starting January 15.

The show features Man Candy & the ladies of Scandalesque Burlesque who’ll entertain you. 2-4-1 drink specials don’t hurt, either. It all happens at 411 S. Mill Ave. in Tempe.

Phone: 480-298-1384

Sugar & Champagne for H.E.R.O.

Did you ever know that you’re my H.E.R.O.? You can be one, too.

Thursday, January 15, at 7 p.m. at the Wrigley Mansion there’ll be a DJ, live entertainment, desserts, champagne, a fashion show and more at the Wrigley Mansion. Your participation benefits H.E.R.O. – Human & Equal Rights Organizers. Tix & info at www.SWAYevents.com

icepics First Anniversary It’s time for a spanking! icepics videobar is celebrating their first birthday on Saturday, January 18. They’re giving away anniversary SWAG bags to their first 100 guests, and one lucky patron will leave with a video iPod! DJ Urban spins. See you there at 3108 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-267-8707 20

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EVENT & LOCATION

CITY

1-8 Western Art & Gear Show – AZ State Fairgrounds 3 Fiesta Bowl Parade 5 Fiesta Bowl – Univ. of Phx. Stadium 7-25 Dixie’s Tupperware Party -Mesa Arts Center 10 icpics videobar 1st Anniversary 10 The Door Grand Opening 10, 11 Native American Arts Festival – Scout Park 11, 18, 25 Sexy Sundays at Forbidden 11-18 Barrett-Jackson Antique Auto Auction at WestWorld 13 P.F. Chang’s Rock’n’Roll Marathon 15, 22, 29 Scandalous Thursdays at Cherry Lounge 15 Sugar & Champagne at Wrigley Mansion 15, 16 Automobiles of Arizona - AZ Biltmore 15-3/29 Arizona Fine Art Expo 16-18 Maricopa Cty. Home & Garden Show – AZ Fairgrounds 16-18 Carefree Fine Arts & Wine Festival 17 Chandler Multicultural Festival – Chandler Library 17, 18 Fairgrounds Antique Market – AZ State Fairgrounds 18 Kilate Norteño at Karamba 18 icepics 1st Anniversary Bash 20 Inauguration Day 23-25 Phoenix Comicon – Mesa Convention Ctr. 24 Chi Chi LaRue at Woody’s 25 Petsmart Petwalk at Tempe Town Lake 25 FBR Open Golf Tournament – Princess Resort 31 Walk ‘n’ Roll Dog Walk – Tempe Town Lake

Phoenix Phoenix Glendale Mesa Phoenix Tempe Litchfield Park Scottsdale Scottsdale Valleywide Tempe Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Carefree Chandler Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Washington, D.C. Mesa Tucson Tempe Scottsdale Tempe

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Kilate Norteño at Karamba “The Door” is Back!

Who says opportunity only knocks once?

It knocked on The Door and it’s open again!

Join in the fun for another Grand (re)Opening on Saturday, January 10. They’ve got drink specials, entertainment, party favors and more! Just ring The Door-bell at 1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. in Tempe. Phone: 480-967-DOOR. No door-to-door salesmen, please.

Join all of your amigos at Karamba Nightclub for their Martin Luther King, Jr. celebration on Sunday, January 18.

Dance the night away while you enjoy listening to Kilate Norteño. They’ll be giving away their music CDs to the first 200 fans that come to Karamba at 1724 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-254-0231

Chi Chi LaRue at Woody’s

Do you know Larry Paciotti? No? Well, you probably know him as the notorious Porn Princess Chi Chi LaRue. January 24th, she’s bringing her stable of stars like the super hot Blake Riley, Jason Sechrest and pal Sister Roma to Woody’s in Tucson. What can you say besides, “Yum, yum!” Everyone who comes gets a free hard-on! See you there! 3710 N. Oracle Rd. Phone: 520292-6702

Sexy Sundays at Forbidden

Forbidden fruit causes many jams– wink, wink. Starting January 11 discover “Sexy Sundays” at Forbidden with DJ Red & DJ MJ spinning in two bars, win prizes, giveaways and win VIP passes! It’s open to 18+ but you have to be 21 to drink. 6820 E. 5th Ave. in Scottsdale.

Phone: 480-994-5176

JANUARY ION EVENTS LISTINGS DATE

Scandal at the Cherry Lounge

Calling all scandal vandals! Come to the Cherry Lounge & Pit as they start Scandalous Thurdays starting January 15.

The show features Man Candy & the ladies of Scandalesque Burlesque who’ll entertain you. 2-4-1 drink specials don’t hurt, either. It all happens at 411 S. Mill Ave. in Tempe.

Phone: 480-298-1384

Sugar & Champagne for H.E.R.O.

Did you ever know that you’re my H.E.R.O.? You can be one, too.

Thursday, January 15, at 7 p.m. at the Wrigley Mansion there’ll be a DJ, live entertainment, desserts, champagne, a fashion show and more at the Wrigley Mansion. Your participation benefits H.E.R.O. – Human & Equal Rights Organizers. Tix & info at www.SWAYevents.com

icepics First Anniversary It’s time for a spanking! icepics videobar is celebrating their first birthday on Saturday, January 18. They’re giving away anniversary SWAG bags to their first 100 guests, and one lucky patron will leave with a video iPod! DJ Urban spins. See you there at 3108 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-267-8707 20

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EVENT & LOCATION

CITY

1-8 Western Art & Gear Show – AZ State Fairgrounds 3 Fiesta Bowl Parade 5 Fiesta Bowl – Univ. of Phx. Stadium 7-25 Dixie’s Tupperware Party -Mesa Arts Center 10 icpics videobar 1st Anniversary 10 The Door Grand Opening 10, 11 Native American Arts Festival – Scout Park 11, 18, 25 Sexy Sundays at Forbidden 11-18 Barrett-Jackson Antique Auto Auction at WestWorld 13 P.F. Chang’s Rock’n’Roll Marathon 15, 22, 29 Scandalous Thursdays at Cherry Lounge 15 Sugar & Champagne at Wrigley Mansion 15, 16 Automobiles of Arizona - AZ Biltmore 15-3/29 Arizona Fine Art Expo 16-18 Maricopa Cty. Home & Garden Show – AZ Fairgrounds 16-18 Carefree Fine Arts & Wine Festival 17 Chandler Multicultural Festival – Chandler Library 17, 18 Fairgrounds Antique Market – AZ State Fairgrounds 18 Kilate Norteño at Karamba 18 icepics 1st Anniversary Bash 20 Inauguration Day 23-25 Phoenix Comicon – Mesa Convention Ctr. 24 Chi Chi LaRue at Woody’s 25 Petsmart Petwalk at Tempe Town Lake 25 FBR Open Golf Tournament – Princess Resort 31 Walk ‘n’ Roll Dog Walk – Tempe Town Lake

Phoenix Phoenix Glendale Mesa Phoenix Tempe Litchfield Park Scottsdale Scottsdale Valleywide Tempe Phoenix Phoenix Scottsdale Phoenix Carefree Chandler Phoenix Phoenix Phoenix Washington, D.C. Mesa Tucson Tempe Scottsdale Tempe

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Bugs Bunny on Broadway

“Eh … what’s opera, doc?” You probably know more about classical music than you think thanks to Looney Tunes.

Join the Phoenix Symphony while they pay tribute to the wascally wabbit with music. The idea is that while the cartoons are playing on the movie screen, the orchestra is perfoming the music in perfect synchronization. Hop over to Phoenix Symphony Hall at 225 E. Adams St. January 3 & 4. For tickets & info visit www.PhoenixSymphony.org or call 602-495-1999

John Legend

American soul-singer, songwriter, musical artist, Target spokescelebrity and Democrat, the talented John Legend performs for you at the Dodge Theatre on Thursday, January 15.

400 W. Washington St. For tickets call 602-379-2888 or visit www.LiveNation.com

Heart

The ageless Ann & Nancy Wilson girls rock their hearts out for all the Dogs and Butterflies out there who’ve loved them for years. They’ll go “Crazy on You” at the good ol’ Celebrity Theatre at 440 N. 32nd St. in Phoenix on February 5. Barracuda’s go to www.CelebrityTheatre.com or call 602-267-1600 for tickets. Heart is Lesbian tested and approved.

JANUARY 2009 ION CONCERT CALENDAR DATE

EVENT/ARTIST

LOCATION

3, 4 7 8, 9 15 17 22-25 22, 23, 25 23 23 24 25 30 30-2/1 30-2/1

Bugs Bunny on Broadway – Phx Symphony George Clinton Resphigi: Pines of Rome John Legend Music of Led Zeppelin w/ Phx Symphony Elixir of Love – AZ Opera Co. España - Phx Symphony Al Di Meola The Fab Faux: Beatles Tribute EVO MMA Willie Nelson Badfish: Sublime Tribute Doc Severinsen Aida – Phx Metropolitan Opera

Symphony Hall Marquee Theatre Symphony Hall Dodge Theatre Dodge Theatre Symphony Hall Symphony Hall Martini Ranch Celebrity Theatre Celebrity Theatre Dodge Theatre Marquee Theatre Symphony Hall Orpheum Theatre

FEBRUARY 5 Heart 24

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Celebrity Theatre January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM

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Bugs Bunny on Broadway

“Eh … what’s opera, doc?” You probably know more about classical music than you think thanks to Looney Tunes.

Join the Phoenix Symphony while they pay tribute to the wascally wabbit with music. The idea is that while the cartoons are playing on the movie screen, the orchestra is perfoming the music in perfect synchronization. Hop over to Phoenix Symphony Hall at 225 E. Adams St. January 3 & 4. For tickets & info visit www.PhoenixSymphony.org or call 602-495-1999

John Legend

American soul-singer, songwriter, musical artist, Target spokescelebrity and Democrat, the talented John Legend performs for you at the Dodge Theatre on Thursday, January 15.

400 W. Washington St. For tickets call 602-379-2888 or visit www.LiveNation.com

Heart

The ageless Ann & Nancy Wilson girls rock their hearts out for all the Dogs and Butterflies out there who’ve loved them for years. They’ll go “Crazy on You” at the good ol’ Celebrity Theatre at 440 N. 32nd St. in Phoenix on February 5. Barracuda’s go to www.CelebrityTheatre.com or call 602-267-1600 for tickets. Heart is Lesbian tested and approved.

JANUARY 2009 ION CONCERT CALENDAR DATE

EVENT/ARTIST

LOCATION

3, 4 7 8, 9 15 17 22-25 22, 23, 25 23 23 24 25 30 30-2/1 30-2/1

Bugs Bunny on Broadway – Phx Symphony George Clinton Resphigi: Pines of Rome John Legend Music of Led Zeppelin w/ Phx Symphony Elixir of Love – AZ Opera Co. España - Phx Symphony Al Di Meola The Fab Faux: Beatles Tribute EVO MMA Willie Nelson Badfish: Sublime Tribute Doc Severinsen Aida – Phx Metropolitan Opera

Symphony Hall Marquee Theatre Symphony Hall Dodge Theatre Dodge Theatre Symphony Hall Symphony Hall Martini Ranch Celebrity Theatre Celebrity Theatre Dodge Theatre Marquee Theatre Symphony Hall Orpheum Theatre

FEBRUARY 5 Heart 24

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ICE PICS

PHOENIX, ARIZONA

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ICE PICS

PHOENIX, ARIZONA

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Written by Dave Jackson djackson@virginmega.com

Yo, DJ! What’s New? Happy New Year! As quickly as 2008 came and went, here we find ourselves at the threshold of another year of adventure and great music. Unfortunately, The Virgin Megastore will not be around, but before they close, make sure to check out new albums from Ciara, Duncan Shiek and Wynonna as well as …

Erin McCarley – Love, Save the Empty She took names at SXSW last year and has since become an internet phenomenon. A cross between Natalie Imbruglia, Chantal Kreviazuk, a smidge of Katy Perry and a dash of an old timer named Poe, Erin’s debut is full of promise and will be one of 2009’s best! Infused with breathy hooks, piano riffs, haunting yet caressing vocals, lead single, “Pitter-pat” is pure pleasure while the title track and “Pony” offer support in an upbeat, feel good manner.

Let’s just hope the early release doesn’t make this album forgettable.

Mariah Carey – Ballads.

Ultimate Mariah fans take note, for Sony is launching yet another collection of Mariah tunes; this time a setlist of her ballads. However, in this iTunes day and age, almost any compilation from any artist seems trite. This offering is a quintessential example of how out of touch music labels really are. Filled with no new tracks, no bsides, no memorable remixes, no nothing.

Sony is merely hoping to get under Mariah’s fingernails. But never fret, a re-pressing of E=MC2 is in the works that will soon give you something to cheer about.

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Russell Watson – People Get Ready The voice behind the man is back with a departure from his classical crossovers.

Gone are the Josh Groban wanna be tracks and here to stay are songs that reflect soul, rock and some bluesy appeal that will croon you into his corner. Backed by the infamous Amy Winehouse band, Russell covers the likes of “Me & Mrs. Jones,” “Georgia” and “Papa was a Rolling Stone.” To some, these may not sound as delicious as the originals; however this album exceeds anything Watson has put out in years. Oh how this tenor ROCKS.

Virgin Megastore- Arizona Mills First and foremost, thanks to EVERYONE who supported Virgin’s tenure in Arizona. I helped opened this store on November 20th, 1997 and it’s only fitting that I help close it. Not only did Virgin help me meet and work with some of my favorites, including Madonna, Gwen, Depeche, Tori, Keane, Chantal, and Christina, but it gave me a life full of adventure and appreciation.

I will sorely miss this job, the industry and everyone in the Virgin family. So, what’s next, you ask? Who knows! Any suggestions or offers?

In other music news, American Idol veteran Kelly Clarkson and newcomer Melinda Doolittle (from the Sparks and “beatboxer” season) are looking to dual in the spring of 2009. After an embarrassing setback from her last album, Clarkson is hoping for redemption, while Doolittle wants revenge for not winning! Expect great things and production on both.

Until next month…

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 29

Written by Dave Jackson djackson@virginmega.com

Yo, DJ! What’s New? Happy New Year! As quickly as 2008 came and went, here we find ourselves at the threshold of another year of adventure and great music. Unfortunately, The Virgin Megastore will not be around, but before they close, make sure to check out new albums from Ciara, Duncan Shiek and Wynonna as well as …

Erin McCarley – Love, Save the Empty She took names at SXSW last year and has since become an internet phenomenon. A cross between Natalie Imbruglia, Chantal Kreviazuk, a smidge of Katy Perry and a dash of an old timer named Poe, Erin’s debut is full of promise and will be one of 2009’s best! Infused with breathy hooks, piano riffs, haunting yet caressing vocals, lead single, “Pitter-pat” is pure pleasure while the title track and “Pony” offer support in an upbeat, feel good manner.

Let’s just hope the early release doesn’t make this album forgettable.

Mariah Carey – Ballads.

Ultimate Mariah fans take note, for Sony is launching yet another collection of Mariah tunes; this time a setlist of her ballads. However, in this iTunes day and age, almost any compilation from any artist seems trite. This offering is a quintessential example of how out of touch music labels really are. Filled with no new tracks, no bsides, no memorable remixes, no nothing.

Sony is merely hoping to get under Mariah’s fingernails. But never fret, a re-pressing of E=MC2 is in the works that will soon give you something to cheer about.

28

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

Russell Watson – People Get Ready The voice behind the man is back with a departure from his classical crossovers.

Gone are the Josh Groban wanna be tracks and here to stay are songs that reflect soul, rock and some bluesy appeal that will croon you into his corner. Backed by the infamous Amy Winehouse band, Russell covers the likes of “Me & Mrs. Jones,” “Georgia” and “Papa was a Rolling Stone.” To some, these may not sound as delicious as the originals; however this album exceeds anything Watson has put out in years. Oh how this tenor ROCKS.

Virgin Megastore- Arizona Mills First and foremost, thanks to EVERYONE who supported Virgin’s tenure in Arizona. I helped opened this store on November 20th, 1997 and it’s only fitting that I help close it. Not only did Virgin help me meet and work with some of my favorites, including Madonna, Gwen, Depeche, Tori, Keane, Chantal, and Christina, but it gave me a life full of adventure and appreciation.

I will sorely miss this job, the industry and everyone in the Virgin family. So, what’s next, you ask? Who knows! Any suggestions or offers?

In other music news, American Idol veteran Kelly Clarkson and newcomer Melinda Doolittle (from the Sparks and “beatboxer” season) are looking to dual in the spring of 2009. After an embarrassing setback from her last album, Clarkson is hoping for redemption, while Doolittle wants revenge for not winning! Expect great things and production on both.

Until next month…

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 29

by Kimberly M. Ruff

Movie Previews For the sake of relevance, I’ve constructed a theme for this month’s movie previews. Might I recommend, “The Good, Bad, and Ugly”?

Good

Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Jason Isaacs, Jodie Whittaker, Mark Strong, Gemma Jones The versatile, talented Mortensen stars in this fascinating film about John Halder, a German literature professor during the 1930s. Dealing with some difficult family matters, Halder explores the morality of compassionate euthanasia by writing a book advocating it. Soon, his work becomes a propaganda piece for the rising Nazi Party and Halder finds himself a national figure.

Directed by Vincente Amorim, Good is a sorrowful reminder of how, as the old saying goes, “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions” by exploring how well-intended works can be interpreted to justify truly heinous acts.

From the frequent misuse of the Bible to the socio-political interpretation of Darwin’s Origin of the Species, history is filled with countless examples of this phenomenon. Release Date: 12/31/08.

Speaking of gross misinterpretations, check out the documentary, For the Bible Tells Me So.

Bride Wars

Starring: Anne Hathaway, Kate Hudson, Candice Bergen, Kristen Johnston When two inseparable best friends find that their respective weddings fall on the same day, they opt for sabotage rather than compromise. Directed by Gary Winick (13 Going on 30), Bride Wars has no intellectual, emotional, or even comedic 30

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

merit. It’s a vacuous film about vacuous women that would sooner destroy one another and themselves than recognize how utterly misguided they are in their priorities. I can certainly understand why Kate Hudson is in it; she lacks her mother’s bubbly charisma and her stepfather’s commanding screen presence. Hathaway, on the other hand, is a bitter disappointment. After showing dramatic promise in Brokeback Mountain and comedic skill in Get Smart, Hathaway falls flat on her face in this horrifically pathetic film. I can only hope to console myself that she was contractually obligated to this movie and didn’t choose it on her own. Release Date: 01/09/09.

To think people say homosexuals will give marriage a bad name!

Donkey Punch

Starring: People You’ve Never Heard Of, I’m Sure I only selected this movie given that its title comes from the sexual practice of punching your partner in their neck when you climax, which I find hilarious in theory and disturbing in application.

Truthfully, this is one of the “horror for horror’s sake” type films in which a group of sexually-promiscuous and unsympathetic women who love to scream foolishly take up a group of locals on their offer to spend a hedonistic weekend on the sea. Yes, there’s sex involved. Yes, there’s murder involved.

Yes, there’s a lot of shrieking and running up darkened stairwells, even if they are only on a yacht. Don’t these girls know the cardinal rule of horror film? If you want to get out (alive), don’t put out! Release Date: January 23, 2008. At least The Lair and Dante’s Cove have people we want to see having sex.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 31

by Kimberly M. Ruff

Movie Previews For the sake of relevance, I’ve constructed a theme for this month’s movie previews. Might I recommend, “The Good, Bad, and Ugly”?

Good

Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Jason Isaacs, Jodie Whittaker, Mark Strong, Gemma Jones The versatile, talented Mortensen stars in this fascinating film about John Halder, a German literature professor during the 1930s. Dealing with some difficult family matters, Halder explores the morality of compassionate euthanasia by writing a book advocating it. Soon, his work becomes a propaganda piece for the rising Nazi Party and Halder finds himself a national figure.

Directed by Vincente Amorim, Good is a sorrowful reminder of how, as the old saying goes, “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions” by exploring how well-intended works can be interpreted to justify truly heinous acts.

From the frequent misuse of the Bible to the socio-political interpretation of Darwin’s Origin of the Species, history is filled with countless examples of this phenomenon. Release Date: 12/31/08.

Speaking of gross misinterpretations, check out the documentary, For the Bible Tells Me So.

Bride Wars

Starring: Anne Hathaway, Kate Hudson, Candice Bergen, Kristen Johnston When two inseparable best friends find that their respective weddings fall on the same day, they opt for sabotage rather than compromise. Directed by Gary Winick (13 Going on 30), Bride Wars has no intellectual, emotional, or even comedic 30

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

merit. It’s a vacuous film about vacuous women that would sooner destroy one another and themselves than recognize how utterly misguided they are in their priorities. I can certainly understand why Kate Hudson is in it; she lacks her mother’s bubbly charisma and her stepfather’s commanding screen presence. Hathaway, on the other hand, is a bitter disappointment. After showing dramatic promise in Brokeback Mountain and comedic skill in Get Smart, Hathaway falls flat on her face in this horrifically pathetic film. I can only hope to console myself that she was contractually obligated to this movie and didn’t choose it on her own. Release Date: 01/09/09.

To think people say homosexuals will give marriage a bad name!

Donkey Punch

Starring: People You’ve Never Heard Of, I’m Sure I only selected this movie given that its title comes from the sexual practice of punching your partner in their neck when you climax, which I find hilarious in theory and disturbing in application.

Truthfully, this is one of the “horror for horror’s sake” type films in which a group of sexually-promiscuous and unsympathetic women who love to scream foolishly take up a group of locals on their offer to spend a hedonistic weekend on the sea. Yes, there’s sex involved. Yes, there’s murder involved.

Yes, there’s a lot of shrieking and running up darkened stairwells, even if they are only on a yacht. Don’t these girls know the cardinal rule of horror film? If you want to get out (alive), don’t put out! Release Date: January 23, 2008. At least The Lair and Dante’s Cove have people we want to see having sex.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 31

JANUARY MOVIE OPENINGS 9 9 9 9 9 9 16 16 16 16 16 23 23

32

Bride Wars PG Che Part 1: The Argentine R Che Part 2: Guerilla R Not Easily Broken PG-13 The Unborn PG-13 Yonkers Joe R Cherry Blossoms NYR Hotel for Dogs PG My Bloody Valentine 3-D R Notorious R Paul Blart: Mall Cop PG Dog Eat Dog (Perro Como Perro) Donkey Punch R

WWW.IONAZ.COM

January 2009

23 23 23 21 23 23 23 30 30 30 30 30

Growing Out Inkheart Killshot Of Time and the City Outlander Prometheus Triumphant Underworld 3 New In Town Serbis Taken Three Monkeys The Uninvited

NYR NYR R NYR R NYR R NYR NYR PG-13 NYR PG-13

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 33

JANUARY MOVIE OPENINGS 9 9 9 9 9 9 16 16 16 16 16 23 23

32

Bride Wars PG Che Part 1: The Argentine R Che Part 2: Guerilla R Not Easily Broken PG-13 The Unborn PG-13 Yonkers Joe R Cherry Blossoms NYR Hotel for Dogs PG My Bloody Valentine 3-D R Notorious R Paul Blart: Mall Cop PG Dog Eat Dog (Perro Como Perro) Donkey Punch R

WWW.IONAZ.COM

January 2009

23 23 23 21 23 23 23 30 30 30 30 30

Growing Out Inkheart Killshot Of Time and the City Outlander Prometheus Triumphant Underworld 3 New In Town Serbis Taken Three Monkeys The Uninvited

NYR NYR R NYR R NYR R NYR NYR PG-13 NYR PG-13

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 33

by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Reviews What better way to bring in the New Year than by experiencing a full range of robust emotions? When I say, “full range of robust emotions” I mean somewhere along the continuum between “sort of laugh” and “sort of cry.” I would argue that this is because few emotionally-stable people put “cry harder” on their list of Resolutions, and whooping gales of hilarity aren’t exactly compatible with your January 2nd wrinkle-murdering Botox injection (designed to check Resolution No. 405 ‘look like a Mannequin’ off your list), but truth be told, I just don’t have anything in my sweet cinematic cache that proposes to give you more than a mild titter and a slight sniffle. I’m sorry.

Looks like I’ve already broken Resolution No. 17: Write Compelling, PulitzerPrize Wrangling, Orgiastic Journalismic Delights.

Hot Gay Comics

(a.k.a.a.t.w.b.*: “Mild Titter”) I don’t know why I’m acting like Hot Gay Comics wasn’t funny, because the fact of the matter is that some of it was downright hilarious. Premiered on Here!

TV in November 2008, Hot Gay Comics is hosted by comedian Dave Rubin and features some of today’s hottest up-andcomers in the GLBT Comedy Scene.

In Episode 1, Rubin shares with the audience his experience as a closeted comedian and how, when he finally came out, the WTC was attacked the next day. He then gives the floor to the animated Anne Neczypor, the sarcastic 34

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

Mike Singer, and the charming Shawn Hollenbach. Some aspects of all of their sets were fairly funny, but save for Hollenbach who consistently killed, they had their periods of audible cricket chirps.

Episode 2, however, found a much more receptive, relaxed audience with a lineup consisting of Jackie Monahan, Paul Case, Danny Leary, and Keith Price.

Monahan set the tone for the entire evening with her acerbic dry wit, playing the pretty-girl-with-a-dirtymouth bit well, Case toned it down with a much more candid and conversational set, while Leary brought it back up with his dramatic antics. Capping the evening off was the riotously funny, Price, whose side-splitting set included his experience as being a “big, black, gay, and fabulous” bouncer at a Strip Club in New York, punctuated by a return trip to his homophobic hometown in Texas. As is the case with comedy, it’s a mixed bag that’s worth a watch and a listen.

3-Day Weekend

(a.k.a.a.t.w.b.*: “Slight Sniffle”) Starring: Chris Carlisle, Joel Harrison, Gaetano Jones, Derek Long, Derek Meeker, Douglas Myers, Daniel Rhyder, Stephen Twardokus Sometimes a vacation from reality helps us to be more real. Director, Rob Williams (Long-Term Relationship) is back behind the camera to bring us 3-Day Weekend, a film about two couples who invite four January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 35

by Wes Bergman wesobergman@yahoo.com

DVD Movie Reviews What better way to bring in the New Year than by experiencing a full range of robust emotions? When I say, “full range of robust emotions” I mean somewhere along the continuum between “sort of laugh” and “sort of cry.” I would argue that this is because few emotionally-stable people put “cry harder” on their list of Resolutions, and whooping gales of hilarity aren’t exactly compatible with your January 2nd wrinkle-murdering Botox injection (designed to check Resolution No. 405 ‘look like a Mannequin’ off your list), but truth be told, I just don’t have anything in my sweet cinematic cache that proposes to give you more than a mild titter and a slight sniffle. I’m sorry.

Looks like I’ve already broken Resolution No. 17: Write Compelling, PulitzerPrize Wrangling, Orgiastic Journalismic Delights.

Hot Gay Comics

(a.k.a.a.t.w.b.*: “Mild Titter”) I don’t know why I’m acting like Hot Gay Comics wasn’t funny, because the fact of the matter is that some of it was downright hilarious. Premiered on Here!

TV in November 2008, Hot Gay Comics is hosted by comedian Dave Rubin and features some of today’s hottest up-andcomers in the GLBT Comedy Scene.

In Episode 1, Rubin shares with the audience his experience as a closeted comedian and how, when he finally came out, the WTC was attacked the next day. He then gives the floor to the animated Anne Neczypor, the sarcastic 34

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

Mike Singer, and the charming Shawn Hollenbach. Some aspects of all of their sets were fairly funny, but save for Hollenbach who consistently killed, they had their periods of audible cricket chirps.

Episode 2, however, found a much more receptive, relaxed audience with a lineup consisting of Jackie Monahan, Paul Case, Danny Leary, and Keith Price.

Monahan set the tone for the entire evening with her acerbic dry wit, playing the pretty-girl-with-a-dirtymouth bit well, Case toned it down with a much more candid and conversational set, while Leary brought it back up with his dramatic antics. Capping the evening off was the riotously funny, Price, whose side-splitting set included his experience as being a “big, black, gay, and fabulous” bouncer at a Strip Club in New York, punctuated by a return trip to his homophobic hometown in Texas. As is the case with comedy, it’s a mixed bag that’s worth a watch and a listen.

3-Day Weekend

(a.k.a.a.t.w.b.*: “Slight Sniffle”) Starring: Chris Carlisle, Joel Harrison, Gaetano Jones, Derek Long, Derek Meeker, Douglas Myers, Daniel Rhyder, Stephen Twardokus Sometimes a vacation from reality helps us to be more real. Director, Rob Williams (Long-Term Relationship) is back behind the camera to bring us 3-Day Weekend, a film about two couples who invite four January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 35

AMSTERDAM

single friends to stay with them at a mountain cabin over the course of a (you guessed it!) three day weekend. Cooper (Long) is in the idyllic honeymoon phase of his relationship with Ace (Twardokus), wrestling the twenty-year age difference and its implications for long-term success. Jason (Myers) and Simon (Meeker), on the other hand, have been together for quite some time in an open relationship, which has made it possible for others, including André (Rhyder) to sneak in and drive a wedge between them. However, I was honestly surprised that André, the Rent-A-‘Ho, was so coveted. He looked like a midget Mark Hamill after his horrid car accident with highlights.

3-Day Weekend looks at three different stages of relationships – beginnings, commitments, and terminations – by using a couple to illustrate each stage.

36

WWW.IONAZ.COM

January 2009

Furthermore, it explores how age and the relationship question affect one another. Over the course of the three-day weekend with the help (and harm) of their respective invitees, middle-aged friends Cooper and Jason are able to explore the related experiences of love and loss in their relationships. It’s refreshing to see a film that tackles the issue of the aging gay male, as even our culture tends to ignore men beyond a certain age. That being said, the film tends to drag at points. Given how few locations the film had (two), I would suggest Williams’ dialogue-heavy story might be more appropriate for the stage. *AKAATWB: Also known as, according to Wes Bergman Questions? Comments? Reach the writer at wesobergman@yahoo.com January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 37

AMSTERDAM

single friends to stay with them at a mountain cabin over the course of a (you guessed it!) three day weekend. Cooper (Long) is in the idyllic honeymoon phase of his relationship with Ace (Twardokus), wrestling the twenty-year age difference and its implications for long-term success. Jason (Myers) and Simon (Meeker), on the other hand, have been together for quite some time in an open relationship, which has made it possible for others, including André (Rhyder) to sneak in and drive a wedge between them. However, I was honestly surprised that André, the Rent-A-‘Ho, was so coveted. He looked like a midget Mark Hamill after his horrid car accident with highlights.

3-Day Weekend looks at three different stages of relationships – beginnings, commitments, and terminations – by using a couple to illustrate each stage.

36

WWW.IONAZ.COM

January 2009

Furthermore, it explores how age and the relationship question affect one another. Over the course of the three-day weekend with the help (and harm) of their respective invitees, middle-aged friends Cooper and Jason are able to explore the related experiences of love and loss in their relationships. It’s refreshing to see a film that tackles the issue of the aging gay male, as even our culture tends to ignore men beyond a certain age. That being said, the film tends to drag at points. Given how few locations the film had (two), I would suggest Williams’ dialogue-heavy story might be more appropriate for the stage. *AKAATWB: Also known as, according to Wes Bergman Questions? Comments? Reach the writer at wesobergman@yahoo.com January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 37

light rail

I

t is hard to feel sorry for an industry that killed both the electric car and the trolley (today’s light rail). But here we are with the American auto companies on the verge of collapse. They say what goes around comes around.

It is a well kept secret that General Motors, Firestone Tires and Standard Oil as well as other major corporations all conspired to purchase major city’s trolley systems and dismantle them including Phoenix (pictured below). These companies saw the trolley as a threat to their future profitability. After all, cars sold by General Motors need tires sold

by Firestone which will need gas sold by Standard Oil. Not to mention, General Motors already built buses, not trolleys. It was brilliant.

It was ingenious. It was illegal. California sued these companies and won. The judgement: $5000 per company and $1 per director.

Ouch. How will they ever recover?

Then there was the doomed electric car called the Saturn EV1. This was a brilliant work of technology second-to-none. It was years ahead of any other company throughout the world. And General Motors owned it.

What did they do? They closed it. Several years after they launched it, they took back every EV1 and destroyed most of them (see picture below). During the same period, they purchased a small government contractor called Hummer. The gas guzzling vehicles that would be used to defend the same countries that supplied the fuel for that very vehicle. It seemed like a perfect marketing plan. Again.

The Light Rail Rides Again!

by Jack Tesorero

38

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

The good news is we have many exciting new transportation options today and in the near future. Mostly because finally the public is demanding it, not because these greedy companies want to. The most promising new automobiles are electric vehicles like the Tesla, hybrid plug-in electric cars like the upcoming Chevy Volt and, the ultra successful Toyota Prius hybrid.

Even light rail is making a comeback. Many cities, like Phoenix, are embracing this type of mass transit again. Gas prices, limited parking in downtown areas, the rising cost of new vehicles, the revival of urban living are all contributing factors why light rail is making a triumphant return.

After several years of planning, funding, construction and promoting, the Phoenix light rail rides again after a sixty year absence.

And nobody can stop this train. Not General Motors (now broke), not Firestone (still reeling from litigation losses over tire blowouts that caused vehicles to roll over and kill their

The only problem, those countries that supplied our thirst for middle-east oil loved America’s money but did not love America.

That came to a boil on September 11, 2001.

Don’t kid yourself, most of the terrorist on that day came from the same country that we purchase most of our oil from: Saudi Arabia.

Fast forward several decades and several wars later, General Motors is asking for billions of dollars from the government to save them from extinction. If only they saved the billions of dollars they made by eliminating trolleys and canceling their Saturn EV1 program.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Yesterday: Phoenix Trolley. 1887-1948 “We won’t be needing these - GM” Decommissionied trolleys and Saturn EVIs crushed in a junkyard.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 39

light rail

I

t is hard to feel sorry for an industry that killed both the electric car and the trolley (today’s light rail). But here we are with the American auto companies on the verge of collapse. They say what goes around comes around.

It is a well kept secret that General Motors, Firestone Tires and Standard Oil as well as other major corporations all conspired to purchase major city’s trolley systems and dismantle them including Phoenix (pictured below). These companies saw the trolley as a threat to their future profitability. After all, cars sold by General Motors need tires sold

by Firestone which will need gas sold by Standard Oil. Not to mention, General Motors already built buses, not trolleys. It was brilliant.

It was ingenious. It was illegal. California sued these companies and won. The judgement: $5000 per company and $1 per director.

Ouch. How will they ever recover?

Then there was the doomed electric car called the Saturn EV1. This was a brilliant work of technology second-to-none. It was years ahead of any other company throughout the world. And General Motors owned it.

What did they do? They closed it. Several years after they launched it, they took back every EV1 and destroyed most of them (see picture below). During the same period, they purchased a small government contractor called Hummer. The gas guzzling vehicles that would be used to defend the same countries that supplied the fuel for that very vehicle. It seemed like a perfect marketing plan. Again.

The Light Rail Rides Again!

by Jack Tesorero

38

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

The good news is we have many exciting new transportation options today and in the near future. Mostly because finally the public is demanding it, not because these greedy companies want to. The most promising new automobiles are electric vehicles like the Tesla, hybrid plug-in electric cars like the upcoming Chevy Volt and, the ultra successful Toyota Prius hybrid.

Even light rail is making a comeback. Many cities, like Phoenix, are embracing this type of mass transit again. Gas prices, limited parking in downtown areas, the rising cost of new vehicles, the revival of urban living are all contributing factors why light rail is making a triumphant return.

After several years of planning, funding, construction and promoting, the Phoenix light rail rides again after a sixty year absence.

And nobody can stop this train. Not General Motors (now broke), not Firestone (still reeling from litigation losses over tire blowouts that caused vehicles to roll over and kill their

The only problem, those countries that supplied our thirst for middle-east oil loved America’s money but did not love America.

That came to a boil on September 11, 2001.

Don’t kid yourself, most of the terrorist on that day came from the same country that we purchase most of our oil from: Saudi Arabia.

Fast forward several decades and several wars later, General Motors is asking for billions of dollars from the government to save them from extinction. If only they saved the billions of dollars they made by eliminating trolleys and canceling their Saturn EV1 program.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Yesterday: Phoenix Trolley. 1887-1948 “We won’t be needing these - GM” Decommissionied trolleys and Saturn EVIs crushed in a junkyard.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 39

occupants), not even Standard Oil who was broken up as a monopoly by the United States Supreme Court in 1911. What goes around comes around.

We do not want to dance on the graves of greedy companies that told us what we want and profited off the American people. We want to encourage these companies to do what Apple did in the 90s: “Think different”.

If we all work together, cities, companies, public, then we again can regain the glory of living in the greatest country in the world.

And in a small way, the Phoenix light rail is a symbol of us taking back what is rightfully ours in the first place. Mmmm, humble pie never tasted so good!

We will see you on the light rail.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Motors_Streetcar_Conspiracy

TODAY (2008)

THEN* (1887-1948)

* Courtesy of: Phoenix Trolley Museum

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 40

METRO Light Rail Fast Facts How to ride METRO A transit pass is required to ride METRO Hours of Service Weekdays Trains begin the first full trip of the day at 4:40 a.m. at the end-of-the-line stations. The last full trip of the day begins at 11 p.m., arriving at the opposite end of the line at midnight.

Frequency. Trains arrive every 10 minutes from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m.; all other hours, every 20 minutes.

Weekends and holidays Trains begin the first full trip of the day at 5 a.m. at the end-of-the-line stations. The last full trip of the day begins at 11 p.m., arriving at the opposite end of the line at midnight.

Frequency. Trains arrive every 15 minutes between 6 a.m. and 7 p.m.; all other hours, every 20 minutes.

NOTE: During special events, trains may operate more frequently, or for longer hours, to accommodate large crowds.

Park-and-Ride METRO park-and-rides are free. All park-and-rides are monitored by security cameras, security officers and municipal police officers. No overnight parking is permitted.

Landmarks and Businesses near Metro Light Rail Stations STATION LOCATION BUSINESS 19th Ave./Bethany Home Target / Costco / Walmart Christown-Spectrum Mall 7th Ave./Camelback Charlie’s Bar Smelly Dog Central/Camelback Maizie’s Energy Tanning Movies on Central Ollie & Annie Unique Urban Boutique Haus Central/Indian School Phoenix Pride (Steele Indian School Park) FEZ Clarendon Hotel Central/Thomas Green Woodpecker Kobalt Bar Willo MediSpa Pink Spot Z Pizza Switch Durant’s Wild Thaiger Central/Encanto Fast Signs on Central Heard Museum Central/McDowell Cheuvront’s Restaurant Burton Barr Library Phoenix Art Museum Margaret T. Hance Park Roosevelt/Central Phoenix Public Market Amsterdam / Club Dwntwn 1st Ave./Monroe Boxers Men’s Salon Central/Van Buren Arizona Center AMC Theaters YMCA Central/Washington Orpheum Theater Dodge Theatre 3rd Steet/Washington Sky Lounge - Club Mijo Heritage Square Phoenix Symphony Hall Phoenix Convention Center Herberger Theater U.S. Airways Center Arizona Science Center Phoenix Historical Museum 44th Ave./Washington Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport Mill Ave./ Third Street Cherry Lounge Brand X

For more information, go to www.valleymetro.org

Fares & Transit Passes An all-day pass for $2.50 is good on both local bus and light rail. All-day passes expire at 2:59 a.m. on the following day.

METRO uses a proof-of-payment system. All-day and multiple-day passes must be activated at station platforms or on buses before boarding the train.

Platinum Passes must be tapped on the orange target on the fare vending machine or near station entrances each time you board. Passengers who fail to validate tickets or passes are subject to fines.

Buy your pass at a fare vending machine at any light rail station.

Fare Types and Cost Light rail & local bus 1 ride All day pass 3 day pass 7 day pass 31 day pass

$1.25 2.50 7.50 17.50 45.00

METRO fare inspectors will regularly patrol the system and will ask passengers at random to produce a valid pass.

Violators are subject to fines ranging from $50 to $500 and may lose their transit privileges.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 41

occupants), not even Standard Oil who was broken up as a monopoly by the United States Supreme Court in 1911. What goes around comes around.

We do not want to dance on the graves of greedy companies that told us what we want and profited off the American people. We want to encourage these companies to do what Apple did in the 90s: “Think different”.

If we all work together, cities, companies, public, then we again can regain the glory of living in the greatest country in the world.

And in a small way, the Phoenix light rail is a symbol of us taking back what is rightfully ours in the first place. Mmmm, humble pie never tasted so good!

We will see you on the light rail.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Motors_Streetcar_Conspiracy

TODAY (2008)

THEN* (1887-1948)

* Courtesy of: Phoenix Trolley Museum

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 40

METRO Light Rail Fast Facts How to ride METRO A transit pass is required to ride METRO Hours of Service Weekdays Trains begin the first full trip of the day at 4:40 a.m. at the end-of-the-line stations. The last full trip of the day begins at 11 p.m., arriving at the opposite end of the line at midnight.

Frequency. Trains arrive every 10 minutes from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m.; all other hours, every 20 minutes.

Weekends and holidays Trains begin the first full trip of the day at 5 a.m. at the end-of-the-line stations. The last full trip of the day begins at 11 p.m., arriving at the opposite end of the line at midnight.

Frequency. Trains arrive every 15 minutes between 6 a.m. and 7 p.m.; all other hours, every 20 minutes.

NOTE: During special events, trains may operate more frequently, or for longer hours, to accommodate large crowds.

Park-and-Ride METRO park-and-rides are free. All park-and-rides are monitored by security cameras, security officers and municipal police officers. No overnight parking is permitted.

Landmarks and Businesses near Metro Light Rail Stations STATION LOCATION BUSINESS 19th Ave./Bethany Home Target / Costco / Walmart Christown-Spectrum Mall 7th Ave./Camelback Charlie’s Bar Smelly Dog Central/Camelback Maizie’s Energy Tanning Movies on Central Ollie & Annie Unique Urban Boutique Haus Central/Indian School Phoenix Pride (Steele Indian School Park) FEZ Clarendon Hotel Central/Thomas Green Woodpecker Kobalt Bar Willo MediSpa Pink Spot Z Pizza Switch Durant’s Wild Thaiger Central/Encanto Fast Signs on Central Heard Museum Central/McDowell Cheuvront’s Restaurant Burton Barr Library Phoenix Art Museum Margaret T. Hance Park Roosevelt/Central Phoenix Public Market Amsterdam / Club Dwntwn 1st Ave./Monroe Boxers Men’s Salon Central/Van Buren Arizona Center AMC Theaters YMCA Central/Washington Orpheum Theater Dodge Theatre 3rd Steet/Washington Sky Lounge - Club Mijo Heritage Square Phoenix Symphony Hall Phoenix Convention Center Herberger Theater U.S. Airways Center Arizona Science Center Phoenix Historical Museum 44th Ave./Washington Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport Mill Ave./ Third Street Cherry Lounge Brand X

For more information, go to www.valleymetro.org

Fares & Transit Passes An all-day pass for $2.50 is good on both local bus and light rail. All-day passes expire at 2:59 a.m. on the following day.

METRO uses a proof-of-payment system. All-day and multiple-day passes must be activated at station platforms or on buses before boarding the train.

Platinum Passes must be tapped on the orange target on the fare vending machine or near station entrances each time you board. Passengers who fail to validate tickets or passes are subject to fines.

Buy your pass at a fare vending machine at any light rail station.

Fare Types and Cost Light rail & local bus 1 ride All day pass 3 day pass 7 day pass 31 day pass

$1.25 2.50 7.50 17.50 45.00

METRO fare inspectors will regularly patrol the system and will ask passengers at random to produce a valid pass.

Violators are subject to fines ranging from $50 to $500 and may lose their transit privileges.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 41

Charlie’s Cloggers Beginners Class Date:

January 25, 2009

Time:

11:00- 12:15 Sunday (First meeting and every Sun day afterwards) Place:

Charlie’s 727 W. Camelback Rd, Phx

Contact:

George Moussally Charlie’s Cloggers PR Spokesperson (602) 314-4500

ALL men and women are invited to be a part of this dance group. You DO NOT need shoes for this meeting, just a desire to dance and enjoy our high energy musical adventure!! We will have all the information you need to learn and practice this great form of Appalachian tap dancing.

Come join us for this first meeting and every Sunday after that.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 43

Charlie’s Cloggers Beginners Class Date:

January 25, 2009

Time:

11:00- 12:15 Sunday (First meeting and every Sun day afterwards) Place:

Charlie’s 727 W. Camelback Rd, Phx

Contact:

George Moussally Charlie’s Cloggers PR Spokesperson (602) 314-4500

ALL men and women are invited to be a part of this dance group. You DO NOT need shoes for this meeting, just a desire to dance and enjoy our high energy musical adventure!! We will have all the information you need to learn and practice this great form of Appalachian tap dancing.

Come join us for this first meeting and every Sunday after that.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 43

first ladies of the dance floor

By Mark Towlande

Today’s dance floor divas hardly resemble the ladies of years past. They don’t sport the big hair, wear the sequin gowns, or belt the mighty praises to the heavenly father like the old divas used to do. They don’t throw diva demands – or even answer to the word “diva”, for that matter – and most notably for club goers, they do not rely on the hard percussion beats that made their predecessors famous.

Instead, Sylvia Tosun and Debbie Holiday, the new queens of the dance floor, employ a different method to ignite their dance floors – words.

How is club music today different than five years ago?

Sylvia Tosun: There are so many sub-genres now. Electro, progressive, minimal. Dance music is in a constant state of evolution and that’s a beautiful thing.

Debby Holiday: I would agree with that.

Club music has grown beyond ladies shouting anthems. There are more varying styles now.

What has encouraged that change?

ST: Very simple ... the DJ. DH: Certainly, the DJs have

encouraged the change. They are the leaders of the dance floor. But I also think clubbers have a say too. They inspire the DJs to make change.

A lot has been written about the diminished influence of today’s DJs. Many dance enthusiasts believe DJs no longer hold the power they once held.

DH: I couldn’t disagree more. I am inspired by the DJs that are rocking our dance floors right now. I love them for what they’re doing.

They are keeping dance music alive.

ST: DJs are our first source to hear new and cutting-edge music. With the internet and satellite radio, it’s easier than ever to keep up with the DJs and their current favorites. You can log onto Masterbeat. com and check out their complete playlists. All true dance fans should keep up with what they’re favorite DJs are promoting.

How do you feel about the trend of super DJs leaving the booth? Tracy Young is beginning a clothing line. Brett Henrichsen has launched the online music retail store Masterbeat.com.

ST: There is always new and rising talent. I think it’s great and healthy for DJs to be branching out into new entrepreneurial endeavors. My feeling is that the success of one of us is the success of all of us.

DH: I adore both Tracy and Brett and I say ‘right on’ to them for growing their empires.

But they’re still a huge part of the dance scene. Tracy’s remix of my track, “Joyful Sound”, is flat-out kick ass! And Brett, he is doing an amazing job with Masterbeat. com and will continue to influence the dance music world.

How does your music compare to the music being played?

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January2009 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM January

DH: I’m a songwriter, so lyrics are definitely important to me! I think I may have more lyrics in my songs than most dance tracks typically have.

ST: Based on the reaction we are getting from the UK market, my tracks seem to be fitting in well with what is being played on the dance floor. The Adam K & Soha remix of “Underlying Feeling”, in particular, seems to be connecting since its progressive sound is one of the most popular sounds in the international dance scene right now.

DH: One major thing Sylvia and I have in common is that our music tends to focus on positivism and strength. I think these two elements are important on today’s dance floor. Club goers want to feel empowered.

Is empowerment your mission?

What do you want people to take away from your songs?

ST: Music is a form of communication.

Each song, for me, is a different experience.

When I write I often try to convey a personal message. “Underlying Feeling” is about the meaning and feeling of love. I hope that when people experience the track the combination of the sound and the lyric will trigger a reminder of what love feels like.

DH: I would love if people walked away feeling happier and connected with the music. I love songs that give you a reason to smile and feel grateful to be alive and strong.

Who are some of your favorite female artists?

DH: Anyone who belts it out like there’s no tomorrow.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 45

first ladies of the dance floor

By Mark Towlande

Today’s dance floor divas hardly resemble the ladies of years past. They don’t sport the big hair, wear the sequin gowns, or belt the mighty praises to the heavenly father like the old divas used to do. They don’t throw diva demands – or even answer to the word “diva”, for that matter – and most notably for club goers, they do not rely on the hard percussion beats that made their predecessors famous.

Instead, Sylvia Tosun and Debbie Holiday, the new queens of the dance floor, employ a different method to ignite their dance floors – words.

How is club music today different than five years ago?

Sylvia Tosun: There are so many sub-genres now. Electro, progressive, minimal. Dance music is in a constant state of evolution and that’s a beautiful thing.

Debby Holiday: I would agree with that.

Club music has grown beyond ladies shouting anthems. There are more varying styles now.

What has encouraged that change?

ST: Very simple ... the DJ. DH: Certainly, the DJs have

encouraged the change. They are the leaders of the dance floor. But I also think clubbers have a say too. They inspire the DJs to make change.

A lot has been written about the diminished influence of today’s DJs. Many dance enthusiasts believe DJs no longer hold the power they once held.

DH: I couldn’t disagree more. I am inspired by the DJs that are rocking our dance floors right now. I love them for what they’re doing.

They are keeping dance music alive.

ST: DJs are our first source to hear new and cutting-edge music. With the internet and satellite radio, it’s easier than ever to keep up with the DJs and their current favorites. You can log onto Masterbeat. com and check out their complete playlists. All true dance fans should keep up with what they’re favorite DJs are promoting.

How do you feel about the trend of super DJs leaving the booth? Tracy Young is beginning a clothing line. Brett Henrichsen has launched the online music retail store Masterbeat.com.

ST: There is always new and rising talent. I think it’s great and healthy for DJs to be branching out into new entrepreneurial endeavors. My feeling is that the success of one of us is the success of all of us.

DH: I adore both Tracy and Brett and I say ‘right on’ to them for growing their empires.

But they’re still a huge part of the dance scene. Tracy’s remix of my track, “Joyful Sound”, is flat-out kick ass! And Brett, he is doing an amazing job with Masterbeat. com and will continue to influence the dance music world.

How does your music compare to the music being played?

44

January2009 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM January

DH: I’m a songwriter, so lyrics are definitely important to me! I think I may have more lyrics in my songs than most dance tracks typically have.

ST: Based on the reaction we are getting from the UK market, my tracks seem to be fitting in well with what is being played on the dance floor. The Adam K & Soha remix of “Underlying Feeling”, in particular, seems to be connecting since its progressive sound is one of the most popular sounds in the international dance scene right now.

DH: One major thing Sylvia and I have in common is that our music tends to focus on positivism and strength. I think these two elements are important on today’s dance floor. Club goers want to feel empowered.

Is empowerment your mission?

What do you want people to take away from your songs?

ST: Music is a form of communication.

Each song, for me, is a different experience.

When I write I often try to convey a personal message. “Underlying Feeling” is about the meaning and feeling of love. I hope that when people experience the track the combination of the sound and the lyric will trigger a reminder of what love feels like.

DH: I would love if people walked away feeling happier and connected with the music. I love songs that give you a reason to smile and feel grateful to be alive and strong.

Who are some of your favorite female artists?

DH: Anyone who belts it out like there’s no tomorrow.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 45

ST: There are a lot of cool ladies out there doing their thing, like Kylie and another worldwide superstar dance artist from France that I happen to love, Mylene Farmer.

How do you feel about the word “diva”?

Isn’t it time to find a new word?

DH: Yes! Everybody and their mama is a damn diva now. As for me, I’m happy with the title I currently answer to: successful working musician.

Madonna is very talented but if she had come out in the 1950s, its doubtful America would have been ready for her.

Isn’t some of her success due to good timing?

ST: Oprah once said, “Luck is preparation meeting opportunity,” and that perspective is timeless.

ST: Actually, I don’t hear the word “diva” as much anymore. I think it’s inferred when some of today’s superstars are simply called by their first name, like Kylie, Janet, and Cher. I guess it would be pretty cool if someday, when people say the name “Sylvia”, it would naturally be assumed that they mean me.

DH: Of all the artists who’ve come and gone, Madonna has stayed the course because she is smart, believes in herself and knows how to work what she got. Of course, in life, timing always plays into it, but sweat and guts go a long way.

What’s coming next for you?

ST: My label, Sea to Sun, is branching out with releases like “Speakerbox” featuring Freedom Williams” and tracks from an amazing DJ/producer, Hybrid Heights.

Besides that I’m also working with Anton Bass, gearing up for my first full-length album release.

DH: I’m promoting my single, “Joyful Sound” and gearing to release my new album.

How will music on dance floors five years from now be different than the music in clubs today?

DH: I could never guess that. I think we go in cycles: from heavier to darker to pop trends to electronic trends. No telling where the circle will land.

ST: Exactly. Dance music is in a constant state of evolution; where it stops, no one will ever know!

Will Madonna still be around?

DH: You know how they say that at the end of the world, cockroaches will somehow still be alive and survive us all? Well, they’ll be dancing … to Madonna.

For more information, please visit www.sylviatosun.com and www.tangobluesentertainment.

46

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 47

ST: There are a lot of cool ladies out there doing their thing, like Kylie and another worldwide superstar dance artist from France that I happen to love, Mylene Farmer.

How do you feel about the word “diva”?

Isn’t it time to find a new word?

DH: Yes! Everybody and their mama is a damn diva now. As for me, I’m happy with the title I currently answer to: successful working musician.

Madonna is very talented but if she had come out in the 1950s, its doubtful America would have been ready for her.

Isn’t some of her success due to good timing?

ST: Oprah once said, “Luck is preparation meeting opportunity,” and that perspective is timeless.

ST: Actually, I don’t hear the word “diva” as much anymore. I think it’s inferred when some of today’s superstars are simply called by their first name, like Kylie, Janet, and Cher. I guess it would be pretty cool if someday, when people say the name “Sylvia”, it would naturally be assumed that they mean me.

DH: Of all the artists who’ve come and gone, Madonna has stayed the course because she is smart, believes in herself and knows how to work what she got. Of course, in life, timing always plays into it, but sweat and guts go a long way.

What’s coming next for you?

ST: My label, Sea to Sun, is branching out with releases like “Speakerbox” featuring Freedom Williams” and tracks from an amazing DJ/producer, Hybrid Heights.

Besides that I’m also working with Anton Bass, gearing up for my first full-length album release.

DH: I’m promoting my single, “Joyful Sound” and gearing to release my new album.

How will music on dance floors five years from now be different than the music in clubs today?

DH: I could never guess that. I think we go in cycles: from heavier to darker to pop trends to electronic trends. No telling where the circle will land.

ST: Exactly. Dance music is in a constant state of evolution; where it stops, no one will ever know!

Will Madonna still be around?

DH: You know how they say that at the end of the world, cockroaches will somehow still be alive and survive us all? Well, they’ll be dancing … to Madonna.

For more information, please visit www.sylviatosun.com and www.tangobluesentertainment.

46

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 47

How The Other Half Loves Three couples + two affairs = one crazy dinner party!

Three men who work at the same firm have a little more in common than they thought. Adultery, lies, and of course, sex are only part of the fun of this hilarious farce. January 14 – February 1. It’s all put on by Phoenix Theatre at 100 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-254-2151

closet drama: a homo/hetero collision Literally trapped in a closet, a boy negotiates his sexuality while haunted by the voice of Fred Phelps of godhatesfags.com. His surrogate mother, Shirley Phelps-Roper attempts to convert her son via electroshock therapy. Yikes! Staged at the Chyro Arts Venue 1330 N. Scottsdale Rd. from Jan. 29 thru Feb. 8.

Go to www.ProgressiveTheatreWorkshop.com for tix or call 480-27275-4477

JANUARY 2009 ION THEATER + STANDUP

48

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

DATE EVENT/ARTIST

LOCATION

PHONE

2-4 Judy Gold: 25 Questions ... Jewish Mother 7-25 Dixie’s Tupperware Party 8-24 Othello 9 Smothers Brothers 9-2/1 Sound of Music 9-2/1 Premiere!

9-2/15 Annie Get Your Gun – Peoria 10 Craig Ferguson thru 1/11 A Jew Grows in Brooklyn 14-2/1 How The Other Half Loves 15-24 Fiddler on the Roof 16-2/1 Triple Espresso 17 Laugh #1 2009 17-25 El Che (in Spanish) thru 1/18 Hair 20-2/1 Mother Load 23-2/7 House with no Walls 25 Open Mic Night featuring Kim Hoke 29-2/7 closet.drama thru 2/8 Disney’s Lion King thru 2/14 Best Little Whorehouse in TX Thru 4/10 Girls Night Out

Theatre 4301- Scottsdale Mesa Arts Center Mesa Arts Center Theatres Dodge Theatre Scottsdale Desert Stages Theatre Peoria Ctr. for Performing Arts AZ Broadway Theatre Mesa Arts Center Herberger Theater Phoenix Theatre Copperstar Rep Theatre - Gilbert Herberger Theater Center Ahwatukee Comedy Club Teatro Bravo at Modified Arts Herberger Theater Theatre 4301 - Scottsdale Herberger Theater Center Comedy Spot - Scottsdale Chyro Arts Venue ASU Gammage B’way Palms Theatre-Mesa Herberger Theater

480-994-2787 480-644-6500 480-664-6560 602-379-2888 480-483-1664 623-815-1791 623-776-8400 480-644-6500 602-252-8497 602-254-2151 480-279-7914 602-252-8497 602-369-8906 602-462-5516 602-252-8497 480-994-2787 602-252-8497 480-945-4422 480-275-4477 480-965-3434 480-325-6700 602-252-8497

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 49

How The Other Half Loves Three couples + two affairs = one crazy dinner party!

Three men who work at the same firm have a little more in common than they thought. Adultery, lies, and of course, sex are only part of the fun of this hilarious farce. January 14 – February 1. It’s all put on by Phoenix Theatre at 100 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-254-2151

closet drama: a homo/hetero collision Literally trapped in a closet, a boy negotiates his sexuality while haunted by the voice of Fred Phelps of godhatesfags.com. His surrogate mother, Shirley Phelps-Roper attempts to convert her son via electroshock therapy. Yikes! Staged at the Chyro Arts Venue 1330 N. Scottsdale Rd. from Jan. 29 thru Feb. 8.

Go to www.ProgressiveTheatreWorkshop.com for tix or call 480-27275-4477

JANUARY 2009 ION THEATER + STANDUP

48

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

DATE EVENT/ARTIST

LOCATION

PHONE

2-4 Judy Gold: 25 Questions ... Jewish Mother 7-25 Dixie’s Tupperware Party 8-24 Othello 9 Smothers Brothers 9-2/1 Sound of Music 9-2/1 Premiere!

9-2/15 Annie Get Your Gun – Peoria 10 Craig Ferguson thru 1/11 A Jew Grows in Brooklyn 14-2/1 How The Other Half Loves 15-24 Fiddler on the Roof 16-2/1 Triple Espresso 17 Laugh #1 2009 17-25 El Che (in Spanish) thru 1/18 Hair 20-2/1 Mother Load 23-2/7 House with no Walls 25 Open Mic Night featuring Kim Hoke 29-2/7 closet.drama thru 2/8 Disney’s Lion King thru 2/14 Best Little Whorehouse in TX Thru 4/10 Girls Night Out

Theatre 4301- Scottsdale Mesa Arts Center Mesa Arts Center Theatres Dodge Theatre Scottsdale Desert Stages Theatre Peoria Ctr. for Performing Arts AZ Broadway Theatre Mesa Arts Center Herberger Theater Phoenix Theatre Copperstar Rep Theatre - Gilbert Herberger Theater Center Ahwatukee Comedy Club Teatro Bravo at Modified Arts Herberger Theater Theatre 4301 - Scottsdale Herberger Theater Center Comedy Spot - Scottsdale Chyro Arts Venue ASU Gammage B’way Palms Theatre-Mesa Herberger Theater

480-994-2787 480-644-6500 480-664-6560 602-379-2888 480-483-1664 623-815-1791 623-776-8400 480-644-6500 602-252-8497 602-254-2151 480-279-7914 602-252-8497 602-369-8906 602-462-5516 602-252-8497 480-994-2787 602-252-8497 480-945-4422 480-275-4477 480-965-3434 480-325-6700 602-252-8497

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 49

Acacia Café I’m always looking to find that little gem of a place where I can stake my claim – or claim my steak – and say, “This is my place.

They know what I like, and they like me, they really like me!” Kind of like your own personal Cheers except the help doesn’t holler, “Norm!” when you walk in. Acacia Café is that gem of place. Warm, cheery, friendly. It feels like home. Well, not my home because I don’t cook and I’ve got about three year’s of magazines lying around. But the kind of place I’d like to call home.

What is it that makes Acacia Café special?

I’d like to start with the adorable Shane at the counter with those gorgeous, startling green eyes. Oh, how I’d like to start with him. But I need to concentrate on the menu. For over two years, owner Mike Soucier has been creating and making honest-to-goodness great breakfasts and lunches. “I’m not out to set the world on fire with new cuisine or fusion. This is comfort food,” he says.

caramelized sweet onion, and lettuce. Don’t forget the tomato. And I’m talking not talking about Stephanie who works there, but the veggie.

For an Italian twist on a way down South Dixie darlin’, y’all need to try the BBQ Chicken Panini, honey chile. You’ll find a mountain of tender, honey barbeque chicken with fresh tomato, marinated red onion and provolone on grilled ciabatta. Mama mia!

Mike bakes all breads except the ciabatta when he starts kneading in the wee hours of the morning at the café. Now that’s love.

Each sammy or panini is served with a tasty side, like freshly made potato or bowtie pasta salad, or a fab couscous made in-house – not the bland, boring food service stuff you usually get everywhere else. This is the real deal!

Boy, oh boy! It’s comforting, that’s for sure.

Move over, Denny’s! A bully breakfast is served here all day. We recommend the Belgian Waffle with fruit topping. We chose the fresh berries with luscious, ripe straw-, rasp- & blueberries. The waffle is perfect: fat, light, fluffy and golden brown. Belgium would be proud! They also have a variety of breakfast sandwiches, omelets and Cinnamon Swirl French Toast. Ooh la la!

602-993-4567 phx 520-791-2345 tuc

Get a Date Tonight!

See ad on page 88 (Free code: 4448)

50

WWW.IONAZ.COM

January 2009

Deli sandwiches, some featuring turkey smoked in house, panini and salads are generous, succulent and easy on the wallet. Their Roast Beef Sandwich features a mound of the lean, tasty beast heaped on their marble rye with a zippy horseradish mayo, tangy Gorgonzola cheese and January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 51

Acacia Café I’m always looking to find that little gem of a place where I can stake my claim – or claim my steak – and say, “This is my place.

They know what I like, and they like me, they really like me!” Kind of like your own personal Cheers except the help doesn’t holler, “Norm!” when you walk in. Acacia Café is that gem of place. Warm, cheery, friendly. It feels like home. Well, not my home because I don’t cook and I’ve got about three year’s of magazines lying around. But the kind of place I’d like to call home.

What is it that makes Acacia Café special?

I’d like to start with the adorable Shane at the counter with those gorgeous, startling green eyes. Oh, how I’d like to start with him. But I need to concentrate on the menu. For over two years, owner Mike Soucier has been creating and making honest-to-goodness great breakfasts and lunches. “I’m not out to set the world on fire with new cuisine or fusion. This is comfort food,” he says.

caramelized sweet onion, and lettuce. Don’t forget the tomato. And I’m talking not talking about Stephanie who works there, but the veggie.

For an Italian twist on a way down South Dixie darlin’, y’all need to try the BBQ Chicken Panini, honey chile. You’ll find a mountain of tender, honey barbeque chicken with fresh tomato, marinated red onion and provolone on grilled ciabatta. Mama mia!

Mike bakes all breads except the ciabatta when he starts kneading in the wee hours of the morning at the café. Now that’s love.

Each sammy or panini is served with a tasty side, like freshly made potato or bowtie pasta salad, or a fab couscous made in-house – not the bland, boring food service stuff you usually get everywhere else. This is the real deal!

Boy, oh boy! It’s comforting, that’s for sure.

Move over, Denny’s! A bully breakfast is served here all day. We recommend the Belgian Waffle with fruit topping. We chose the fresh berries with luscious, ripe straw-, rasp- & blueberries. The waffle is perfect: fat, light, fluffy and golden brown. Belgium would be proud! They also have a variety of breakfast sandwiches, omelets and Cinnamon Swirl French Toast. Ooh la la!

602-993-4567 phx 520-791-2345 tuc

Get a Date Tonight!

See ad on page 88 (Free code: 4448)

50

WWW.IONAZ.COM

January 2009

Deli sandwiches, some featuring turkey smoked in house, panini and salads are generous, succulent and easy on the wallet. Their Roast Beef Sandwich features a mound of the lean, tasty beast heaped on their marble rye with a zippy horseradish mayo, tangy Gorgonzola cheese and January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 51

If you’re counting carbs, Acacia Café has a generous selection of salads to choose from. Get ready, because they’re enormous!

The crowd favorite is the Market Salad with sweet pears, dried cranberries, mammoth glazed pecans, and Gorgonzola cheese served atop mixed greens and served with a warm bacon dressing. They also have a rarely seen classic, Salade Nicoise with albacore tuna, tomato, black olives, marinated green beans, capers, potato and chopped egg with a champagne vinaigrette.

A “must” is Mike’s delicious handmade soups. Chicken Noodle is available daily, and a variety of others are served throughout the week. Wednesday’s Potato Ham is T.D.F. (To Die For.)

52

WWW.IONAZ.COM

January 2009

If you’ve got a sweet tooth, save room for Acacia Café’s resident honey, Jeff Piñales.

But you’d probably get away with one of their smashing cookies or other pastries a little bit easier. They also have a variety of fine espresso, latte, cappuccino and teas. Stop in for Sunday brunch and try my favorite, the Monte Cristo. Catering is available, too.

Chef Mike says you can always expect the menu to be evolving and changing now and then. They’re soon to offer expanded evening hours offering hearty homestyle entrées. And nothin’ says lovin’ like something from Acacia Café’s oven. Believe me.

Acacia Café

3701 E. Indian School Rd. Phoenix, AZ 85018 602-956-0908

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 53

If you’re counting carbs, Acacia Café has a generous selection of salads to choose from. Get ready, because they’re enormous!

The crowd favorite is the Market Salad with sweet pears, dried cranberries, mammoth glazed pecans, and Gorgonzola cheese served atop mixed greens and served with a warm bacon dressing. They also have a rarely seen classic, Salade Nicoise with albacore tuna, tomato, black olives, marinated green beans, capers, potato and chopped egg with a champagne vinaigrette.

A “must” is Mike’s delicious handmade soups. Chicken Noodle is available daily, and a variety of others are served throughout the week. Wednesday’s Potato Ham is T.D.F. (To Die For.)

52

WWW.IONAZ.COM

January 2009

If you’ve got a sweet tooth, save room for Acacia Café’s resident honey, Jeff Piñales.

But you’d probably get away with one of their smashing cookies or other pastries a little bit easier. They also have a variety of fine espresso, latte, cappuccino and teas. Stop in for Sunday brunch and try my favorite, the Monte Cristo. Catering is available, too.

Chef Mike says you can always expect the menu to be evolving and changing now and then. They’re soon to offer expanded evening hours offering hearty homestyle entrées. And nothin’ says lovin’ like something from Acacia Café’s oven. Believe me.

Acacia Café

3701 E. Indian School Rd. Phoenix, AZ 85018 602-956-0908

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 53

1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

photos by Ken McKenzie 54

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 55

1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

photos by Ken McKenzie 54

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 55

602-993-4567 phx 520-791-2345 tuc

Get a Date Tonight!

See ad on page 88 (Free code: 4448)

56

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

602-993-4567 phx 520-791-2345 tuc

Get a Date Tonight!

See ad on page 88 (Free code: 4448)

56

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

58

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 59

58

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 59

FRIDAY-JANUARY 16, 2009 8:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. - AGRA Rodeo School (Rawhide) 2:00 p.m. - Western Cookout/Party (Grace Inn Phoenix) 6:00 – 9:00 p.m. - Rodeo Contestants Registration (Grace Inn Phoenix) 7:00 – 11:00 p.m. - Party/Dance/Entertainment (Grace Inn Phoenix)

SATURDAY-JANUARY 17, 2009 7:00 a.m. - Rodeo Ticket Office Opens 8:00 a.m. - Rodeo Events (Rawhide) Noonish - Grand Entry/Foot Parade 1:00 – 11:00 p.m. - Dancing/Entertainment

SUNDAY-JANUARY 18, 2009 7:00 a.m. - Rodeo Ticket Office Opens 8:00 a.m.- Rodeo Events (Rawhide) Noon-ish - Grand Entry 1:00 – 8:30 p.m. - Dancing/Entertainment at the Pavilion 8:30 p.m. - Rodeo Awards Ceremony at the Rawhide Pavilion Party Time/Dancing/Entertainment – After awards ceremony

MONDAY-JANUARY 19, 2009 11:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m - Rodeo Survivors’ Brunch (Charlie’s) 1:00 p.m. - Post Rodeo Pussy LeHoot & Friends Show (Charlie’s)

DIRECTIONS FROM PHOENIX • Take I-10 East to Wild Horse Pass Boulevard (Exit 162) • Turn right on Wild Horse Pass Boulevard and go about .6 mile to 48th Street (1st traffic light) (SEE BELOW*)

DIRECTIONS FROM TUCSON • Take I-10 West to Wild Horse Pass Boulevard (Exit 162) • Exit and then turn left; go over I-10 continuing on Wild Horse Pass Boulevard • Go about .6 mile to 48th Street (1st traffic light) (*DIRECTIONS CONTINUED) • Turn left on 48th Street and go about .3 mile to the 1st stop sign • At the stop sign, follow the signs for General Parking or Contestants, Staff, VIP, Vendor Parking. Main Entrance is through Rawhide Western Town.

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 61

FRIDAY-JANUARY 16, 2009 8:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. - AGRA Rodeo School (Rawhide) 2:00 p.m. - Western Cookout/Party (Grace Inn Phoenix) 6:00 – 9:00 p.m. - Rodeo Contestants Registration (Grace Inn Phoenix) 7:00 – 11:00 p.m. - Party/Dance/Entertainment (Grace Inn Phoenix)

SATURDAY-JANUARY 17, 2009 7:00 a.m. - Rodeo Ticket Office Opens 8:00 a.m. - Rodeo Events (Rawhide) Noonish - Grand Entry/Foot Parade 1:00 – 11:00 p.m. - Dancing/Entertainment

SUNDAY-JANUARY 18, 2009 7:00 a.m. - Rodeo Ticket Office Opens 8:00 a.m.- Rodeo Events (Rawhide) Noon-ish - Grand Entry 1:00 – 8:30 p.m. - Dancing/Entertainment at the Pavilion 8:30 p.m. - Rodeo Awards Ceremony at the Rawhide Pavilion Party Time/Dancing/Entertainment – After awards ceremony

MONDAY-JANUARY 19, 2009 11:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m - Rodeo Survivors’ Brunch (Charlie’s) 1:00 p.m. - Post Rodeo Pussy LeHoot & Friends Show (Charlie’s)

DIRECTIONS FROM PHOENIX • Take I-10 East to Wild Horse Pass Boulevard (Exit 162) • Turn right on Wild Horse Pass Boulevard and go about .6 mile to 48th Street (1st traffic light) (SEE BELOW*)

DIRECTIONS FROM TUCSON • Take I-10 West to Wild Horse Pass Boulevard (Exit 162) • Exit and then turn left; go over I-10 continuing on Wild Horse Pass Boulevard • Go about .6 mile to 48th Street (1st traffic light) (*DIRECTIONS CONTINUED) • Turn left on 48th Street and go about .3 mile to the 1st stop sign • At the stop sign, follow the signs for General Parking or Contestants, Staff, VIP, Vendor Parking. Main Entrance is through Rawhide Western Town.

60

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A

cowboy rode into town and stopped at a Charlie’s for a drink.

When he finished his beer, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar and with a quick move of his hands, he flipped his guns into the air, caught them above his head and fired at the ceiling. “Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?” he yelled. No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finnish, I’m gonna do what I done in Texas!

And I don’t like to have to do what

A

cowboy is pulled over by a policeman who lectures the cowboy about speeding.

As he writes out the ticket, flies begin buzzing around his head.

62

I done in Texas!”

The locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! As he swung up into the saddle and started to ride out of town, the bartender ran out of Charlie’s and asked, “Say pardner, before you go -- what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I walked home.”

“Circle flies hang around ranches,” says the cowboy. “They’re called circle flies because they usually circle the rear of a horse.”

“You calling me a horse’s ass?” demands the cop.

“Oh no, sir,” the cowboy replies. “I respect law enforcement too much to call you a horse’s ass.”

“Problems with circle flies?” asks the cowboy.

“That’s a good thing,” mutters the policeman.

“I never heard of circle flies,” says the cop.

After a pause, the cowboy says, “Hard to fool them flies though.”

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A

cowboy rode into town and stopped at a Charlie’s for a drink.

When he finished his beer, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar and with a quick move of his hands, he flipped his guns into the air, caught them above his head and fired at the ceiling. “Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?” he yelled. No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finnish, I’m gonna do what I done in Texas!

And I don’t like to have to do what

A

cowboy is pulled over by a policeman who lectures the cowboy about speeding.

As he writes out the ticket, flies begin buzzing around his head.

62

I done in Texas!”

The locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! As he swung up into the saddle and started to ride out of town, the bartender ran out of Charlie’s and asked, “Say pardner, before you go -- what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I walked home.”

“Circle flies hang around ranches,” says the cowboy. “They’re called circle flies because they usually circle the rear of a horse.”

“You calling me a horse’s ass?” demands the cop.

“Oh no, sir,” the cowboy replies. “I respect law enforcement too much to call you a horse’s ass.”

“Problems with circle flies?” asks the cowboy.

“That’s a good thing,” mutters the policeman.

“I never heard of circle flies,” says the cop.

After a pause, the cowboy says, “Hard to fool them flies though.”

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 63

A

successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. The two of them worked and the ranch was doing very well.

One day the widow said to the hired hand, “You’ve done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.”

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.

When he returned late the next morning he found the lonely widow waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

“Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked.

“Now take off my stockings.” He removed each gently.

“Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, watching her eyes in the firelight.

“Now take off my bra.” He did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

O Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

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A

successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. The two of them worked and the ranch was doing very well.

One day the widow said to the hired hand, “You’ve done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.”

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.

When he returned late the next morning he found the lonely widow waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

“Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked.

“Now take off my stockings.” He removed each gently.

“Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, watching her eyes in the firelight.

“Now take off my bra.” He did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

O Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

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Photography Richard Bolinski Art Direction Kevin Bushaw Models Josh, Matt, Chuck, & Ryan from Dick’s Cabaret Equine Models Bullet,Spice, & Chip Special thanks to Chuck Browning for use of his ranch, horses, and great assistance.

Jay Barker for his help with the horses.

We could not have done this shoot without the both of you! .....

For more great photos, check out the extended online edition at www.ionaz.com

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Photography Richard Bolinski Art Direction Kevin Bushaw Models Josh, Matt, Chuck, & Ryan from Dick’s Cabaret Equine Models Bullet,Spice, & Chip Special thanks to Chuck Browning for use of his ranch, horses, and great assistance.

Jay Barker for his help with the horses.

We could not have done this shoot without the both of you! .....

For more great photos, check out the extended online edition at www.ionaz.com

76

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manhunting mormon Thousands of gay men pray daily to the Manhunt Gods for a heavenly gift, but Michael Walker has taken his worshipping to a whole new level.

The former Mormon is Manhunt’s newest cover model.

By Nathan Chea ManhuntDaily.com

Is this another case of good-boy-gonewild? Perhaps. But this isn’t the first time Walker has made waves in the Mormon community. Last year, he came under fire when he and eleven other young Mormon men appeared shirtless in the “Men on a Mission” calendar.

Walker escaped discipline then, but will he be as lucky this time around – especially considering he is now plastered all over the world’s leading gay website? We chatted with the rebel Mormon to learn why he did it and the repercussions he expects to encounter as the new face of Manhunt.

(opposite page) photo by Brian Dalthorp 82 WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009 of Mormons Exposed ™

First, tell us about the “Men on a Mission” calendar.

It started out as sort of a joke, but Chad (the creator of the calendar)

and his team were very professional and it is truly something that I’m proud I was a part of.

Why Mr. December?

I wondered the same thing. Chad told me that my picture seemed like the perfect bookend to the other pictures. I can’t complain. Mr. December’s a good spot.

Did you run into any trouble with the Mormon Church as a result of your involvement with the calendar?

I was called by my Stake President (a local leader of the congregation in L.A.) but I never returned his call. I’ve heard that some of the other models in the calendar have had interviews regarding their involvement, but none have been excommunicated, as far as I know.

The creator of the calendar, Chad Hardy, was excommunicated from the church.

My heart goes out to Chad. Not only was Chad excommunicated, but they decided to strip him of his degree from Brigham Young University. They claim that they excommunicated him because of reasons outside of the calendar; something that Chad has told me is a bold-faced lie. It’s sad to me that all of this would happen to him over something so ridiculously innocent as a shirtless calendar.

Is it true you donated your calendar earnings to the Ronald McDonald house?

I served a two-year mission for the church at the Ronald McDonald house in Buffalo. It was an incredible experience and I’m thrilled I was able to support them through this project.

To say the gay community and the Mormon Church haven’t been getting along lately is an understatement.

What are your feelings on the recent rift and on Proposition 8?

This one’s tough for me. Growing up Mormon and gay has to be one of the most difficult social and spiritual conundrums anyone can be subjected to. I was deeply disturbed and saddened by the church’s support of Proposition 8. Their usual noninvolvement in politics rule was abandoned for a sickly impressive campaign that ended in the taking of basic fundamental rights for me and my friends.

How has their position affected your relationship with the church?

It forced me to call into question everything about the institution I was raised a member of. While I respect the Mormon church for instilling the values I carry with me today, the passing of Proposition 8 has caused me to lose my affinity for the church and left me feeling almost like I’ve lost a good friend or family member. It was the final straw that caused me to finally say “you’re not Mormon any more.”

You’ve left the Mormon church?

I had to. But that being said, I hope that people understand that there are many, January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 83

manhunting mormon Thousands of gay men pray daily to the Manhunt Gods for a heavenly gift, but Michael Walker has taken his worshipping to a whole new level.

The former Mormon is Manhunt’s newest cover model.

By Nathan Chea ManhuntDaily.com

Is this another case of good-boy-gonewild? Perhaps. But this isn’t the first time Walker has made waves in the Mormon community. Last year, he came under fire when he and eleven other young Mormon men appeared shirtless in the “Men on a Mission” calendar.

Walker escaped discipline then, but will he be as lucky this time around – especially considering he is now plastered all over the world’s leading gay website? We chatted with the rebel Mormon to learn why he did it and the repercussions he expects to encounter as the new face of Manhunt.

(opposite page) photo by Brian Dalthorp 82 WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009 of Mormons Exposed ™

First, tell us about the “Men on a Mission” calendar.

It started out as sort of a joke, but Chad (the creator of the calendar)

and his team were very professional and it is truly something that I’m proud I was a part of.

Why Mr. December?

I wondered the same thing. Chad told me that my picture seemed like the perfect bookend to the other pictures. I can’t complain. Mr. December’s a good spot.

Did you run into any trouble with the Mormon Church as a result of your involvement with the calendar?

I was called by my Stake President (a local leader of the congregation in L.A.) but I never returned his call. I’ve heard that some of the other models in the calendar have had interviews regarding their involvement, but none have been excommunicated, as far as I know.

The creator of the calendar, Chad Hardy, was excommunicated from the church.

My heart goes out to Chad. Not only was Chad excommunicated, but they decided to strip him of his degree from Brigham Young University. They claim that they excommunicated him because of reasons outside of the calendar; something that Chad has told me is a bold-faced lie. It’s sad to me that all of this would happen to him over something so ridiculously innocent as a shirtless calendar.

Is it true you donated your calendar earnings to the Ronald McDonald house?

I served a two-year mission for the church at the Ronald McDonald house in Buffalo. It was an incredible experience and I’m thrilled I was able to support them through this project.

To say the gay community and the Mormon Church haven’t been getting along lately is an understatement.

What are your feelings on the recent rift and on Proposition 8?

This one’s tough for me. Growing up Mormon and gay has to be one of the most difficult social and spiritual conundrums anyone can be subjected to. I was deeply disturbed and saddened by the church’s support of Proposition 8. Their usual noninvolvement in politics rule was abandoned for a sickly impressive campaign that ended in the taking of basic fundamental rights for me and my friends.

How has their position affected your relationship with the church?

It forced me to call into question everything about the institution I was raised a member of. While I respect the Mormon church for instilling the values I carry with me today, the passing of Proposition 8 has caused me to lose my affinity for the church and left me feeling almost like I’ve lost a good friend or family member. It was the final straw that caused me to finally say “you’re not Mormon any more.”

You’ve left the Mormon church?

I had to. But that being said, I hope that people understand that there are many, January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 83

many good and decent members of the Mormon Church that understand our struggle and support us in every way.

How did you become the face of MANHUNT? I have been an on-and-off member of Manhunt since I came out, about a year after my mission. They asked and I said yes.

Had you done any modeling prior to the MANHUNT shoot?

I was signed with Wilhelmina Models for about ten years, so I’d done random projects here and there.

How was the photo-shoot?

The shoot was very professional and relaxed. When I first arrived, I was adamant about not doing any shots in my underwear, but somehow they soon convinced me otherwise (laughs).

Everyone was really nice and did what they could to make me feel comfortable.

CHRISTMAS SHOW

All our readers are dying to know… are you single?

Yes. Single. My profile on Manhunt is a little different than a lot of the others you’ll find on the site, since I am primarily relationship-oriented. I’m a serial dater, but haven’t found him yet.

Being the new face of Manhunt definitely raises your exposure.

That’s a good. I think.

To read more with Michael Walker, go to www.ManhuntDaily.com

PHOENIX, ARIZONA 84

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 85

many good and decent members of the Mormon Church that understand our struggle and support us in every way.

How did you become the face of MANHUNT? I have been an on-and-off member of Manhunt since I came out, about a year after my mission. They asked and I said yes.

Had you done any modeling prior to the MANHUNT shoot?

I was signed with Wilhelmina Models for about ten years, so I’d done random projects here and there.

How was the photo-shoot?

The shoot was very professional and relaxed. When I first arrived, I was adamant about not doing any shots in my underwear, but somehow they soon convinced me otherwise (laughs).

Everyone was really nice and did what they could to make me feel comfortable.

CHRISTMAS SHOW

All our readers are dying to know… are you single?

Yes. Single. My profile on Manhunt is a little different than a lot of the others you’ll find on the site, since I am primarily relationship-oriented. I’m a serial dater, but haven’t found him yet.

Being the new face of Manhunt definitely raises your exposure.

That’s a good. I think.

To read more with Michael Walker, go to www.ManhuntDaily.com

PHOENIX, ARIZONA 84

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 85

Vol. 2, Issue 10

JANUARY 2009

����������� OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

�����������������������������������������������������

Recession Boosts “Going Out Of Business” Sign Biz

�����������

in 1929. But, boy, in the past year we’ve been selling ‘Going Out Of Business!’ signs so fast that you’d think, well, that we were going out of business,” he said. In the past year alone Remington has shipped out But one man is up to 125,000 profiting off the of the banner demise of these signs. “We’ve institutions and got thousands on others. Ralph order from Ford, Remington, 67, General Motors has been printing and Chrysler, “Going Out Of ����������������������������������������������������� ready to go as Business” signs soon as we get since 1966, the purchase when he took the order,” Remington said. “All orders are prebusiness over from his late father, Otis, paid.” who started printing signs for oriental rug stores when they lost their leases.

Remington is planning on branching out and printing “Foreclosure Today!” and “Yard “Business was slow but steady since Sale Here!” signs later this year. dad opened during the Great Depression

WICHITA, Kan. – Mervyn’s.

Circuit City.

Linens Plus.

Virgin Megastore.

They’re all soon to be a thing of the past as well as many other long lived and loved retail stores across America.

�����������

�����������

����������������������������������������������������� 86

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 87

Vol. 2, Issue 10

JANUARY 2009

����������� OUTRAGEOUS! Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.

�����������������������������������������������������

Recession Boosts “Going Out Of Business” Sign Biz

�����������

in 1929. But, boy, in the past year we’ve been selling ‘Going Out Of Business!’ signs so fast that you’d think, well, that we were going out of business,” he said. In the past year alone Remington has shipped out But one man is up to 125,000 profiting off the of the banner demise of these signs. “We’ve institutions and got thousands on others. Ralph order from Ford, Remington, 67, General Motors has been printing and Chrysler, “Going Out Of ����������������������������������������������������� ready to go as Business” signs soon as we get since 1966, the purchase when he took the order,” Remington said. “All orders are prebusiness over from his late father, Otis, paid.” who started printing signs for oriental rug stores when they lost their leases.

Remington is planning on branching out and printing “Foreclosure Today!” and “Yard “Business was slow but steady since Sale Here!” signs later this year. dad opened during the Great Depression

WICHITA, Kan. – Mervyn’s.

Circuit City.

Linens Plus.

Virgin Megastore.

They’re all soon to be a thing of the past as well as many other long lived and loved retail stores across America.

�����������

�����������

����������������������������������������������������� 86

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 87

����������� �����������������������������������������������������

����������� ����������� �����������������������������������������������������

Dashiki Chic Dazzles Washington D.C. WASHINGTON, D.C. – Diplomats, statesmen, political pundits and fashionistas all over the world were stunned and delighted on January 20 when President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama arrived on the steps of the United States Capitol for the inauguration wearing a high fashion dashiki and kaftan.

temper tantrum screaming, “I design for Target, bitches! Nobody treats me this way!”

Expert and fashion doyenne Heidi Klum of television’s Project Runway said, “As a former Victoria’s Secret model, I think the President and First Lady took a serious fashion risk, but they’ve been rewarded for their efforts. The look is fresh, new, clean, and ethnic.”

�����������

Say goodbye to the fussy days of tuxedos and uncomfortable designer gowns. President ����������������������������������������������������� Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts who Obama looked magnificent wearing a custom performed the President’s swearing in ceremony made dashiki in navy blue hues while First issued a press statement indicating that the entire Lady Michelle arrived wearing a stunning Supreme Court will soon be wearing dashikis kaftan with shades of red, orange and yellow. instead of the traditional black robes. The dress Both were made of hand woven kente cloth code at Congress is expected to follow suit – so from Kenya. to speak.

Haute couture designers such as Diane Von The late fashion editor Carrie Donovan said that Furstenberg, Christian Lacroix and Carolina the dashiki craze will be merchandised throughout Herrera expressed shock and indignation after all the Old Navy stores nationwide. She said, the First Lady snubbed their pricey designs, “You say ‘dashiki.’ I say ‘divine!’” while Isaac Mizrahi wept openly and threw a

����������� 88

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����������������������������������������������������� January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 89

����������� �����������������������������������������������������

����������� ����������� �����������������������������������������������������

Dashiki Chic Dazzles Washington D.C. WASHINGTON, D.C. – Diplomats, statesmen, political pundits and fashionistas all over the world were stunned and delighted on January 20 when President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama arrived on the steps of the United States Capitol for the inauguration wearing a high fashion dashiki and kaftan.

temper tantrum screaming, “I design for Target, bitches! Nobody treats me this way!”

Expert and fashion doyenne Heidi Klum of television’s Project Runway said, “As a former Victoria’s Secret model, I think the President and First Lady took a serious fashion risk, but they’ve been rewarded for their efforts. The look is fresh, new, clean, and ethnic.”

�����������

Say goodbye to the fussy days of tuxedos and uncomfortable designer gowns. President ����������������������������������������������������� Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts who Obama looked magnificent wearing a custom performed the President’s swearing in ceremony made dashiki in navy blue hues while First issued a press statement indicating that the entire Lady Michelle arrived wearing a stunning Supreme Court will soon be wearing dashikis kaftan with shades of red, orange and yellow. instead of the traditional black robes. The dress Both were made of hand woven kente cloth code at Congress is expected to follow suit – so from Kenya. to speak.

Haute couture designers such as Diane Von The late fashion editor Carrie Donovan said that Furstenberg, Christian Lacroix and Carolina the dashiki craze will be merchandised throughout Herrera expressed shock and indignation after all the Old Navy stores nationwide. She said, the First Lady snubbed their pricey designs, “You say ‘dashiki.’ I say ‘divine!’” while Isaac Mizrahi wept openly and threw a

����������� 88

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����������������������������������������������������� January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 89

����������� �����������������������������������������������������

����������� �����������������������������������������������������

North Scottsdale Opens First $99.99 Only Store SCOTTSDALE – In an attempt to curb harsh economic times, North Scottsdale has opened a $99.99¢ Only Store to help the filthy, stinking rich curb inflation with premium merchandise with value savings to help support their lifestyle.

“I can’t believe it!” squealed Britney Caitlyn Herrington, 23, of DC Ranch. “I got a brand, new iPhone for $99.99¢ only!

The Blackberry I got last year is so out!

My trust fund is really feeling these hard times,” she pouted.

Britney isn’t the only one pinching 100 dollar bills. Mrs. Adrian J. Argonbright III of Greyhawk said, “When I’m having a sit-down dinner for twenty, I need to know that I can stretch my third husband’s 90

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

budget when I send the maid out shopping for groceries in my Hummer. The days of Lobster Thermidor are over at my mansion, dear. We’re practically living on Veal Oscar and blanched artichoke tips with clarified Normandy butter five nights a week now!

It’s tough up here, darling. Tough.”

Other value priced items at the $99.99¢ Only Store include travel kits of MAC makeup, Wii, Botox, Blu-Ray Disc players, Beluga caviar and Perrier-Jouet champagne.

St. Vincent de Paul is planning on opening a white tablecloth dining room with Russian Service in the struggling district. “We don’t want our neighborhood to turn into some kind of slum like McCormick Ranch,” said Mrs. Argonbright. “Really, now!”

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 91

����������� �����������������������������������������������������

����������� �����������������������������������������������������

North Scottsdale Opens First $99.99 Only Store SCOTTSDALE – In an attempt to curb harsh economic times, North Scottsdale has opened a $99.99¢ Only Store to help the filthy, stinking rich curb inflation with premium merchandise with value savings to help support their lifestyle.

“I can’t believe it!” squealed Britney Caitlyn Herrington, 23, of DC Ranch. “I got a brand, new iPhone for $99.99¢ only!

The Blackberry I got last year is so out!

My trust fund is really feeling these hard times,” she pouted.

Britney isn’t the only one pinching 100 dollar bills. Mrs. Adrian J. Argonbright III of Greyhawk said, “When I’m having a sit-down dinner for twenty, I need to know that I can stretch my third husband’s 90

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

budget when I send the maid out shopping for groceries in my Hummer. The days of Lobster Thermidor are over at my mansion, dear. We’re practically living on Veal Oscar and blanched artichoke tips with clarified Normandy butter five nights a week now!

It’s tough up here, darling. Tough.”

Other value priced items at the $99.99¢ Only Store include travel kits of MAC makeup, Wii, Botox, Blu-Ray Disc players, Beluga caviar and Perrier-Jouet champagne.

St. Vincent de Paul is planning on opening a white tablecloth dining room with Russian Service in the struggling district. “We don’t want our neighborhood to turn into some kind of slum like McCormick Ranch,” said Mrs. Argonbright. “Really, now!”

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 91

IONPHOENIX

92

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

1.

Amsterdam

718 N. Central Ave. - Downtown Phoenix

(602) 258-6122

2.

Apollo’s

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 277-9373

3.

Bar 1

3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

(602) 266-9001

4.

BS West

7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(480) 945-9028

5.

Bunkhouse

4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 200-9154

6.

Cash Inn

2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 244-9943

7.

Charlie’s

727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 265-0224

8.

NEW! Cherry Bar

1028 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 277-7729

9.

NEW! Cherry Lounge

Every Thursday starting January 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe

10.

The Chute Men’s Club

1440 E Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 234-1654

C

Clarendon Hotel

401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix

(602) CLARENDON

11.

Club Vibe

3031 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 224-9977

12.

Cruisin’ 7th

3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 212-9888

13.

Dick’s Cabaret

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 274-DICK

14.

NEW! The Door

1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Tempe

(602) 967-DOOR

15.

Forbidden

6820 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

forbiddenaz.com

16.

Homme

138 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0875

17.

icepics videobar

3108 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 267-8707

18.

Incognito

2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 955-9805

19.

Karamba

1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231

20.

Kobalt

3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 264-5307

21.

OZ

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 242-5114

22.

Plazma

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477

23.

Pumphouse II

4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 275-3509

24.

Retro Bar

3114 E. Cactus Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 493-0355

25.

The Rock

4129 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 248-8559

26.

Roscoe’s

4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 285-0833

27.

Taylor’s Tavern

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 867-2463

28.

Velocity

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 956-2885

29.

Wild Card

801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler

(480) 857-3088

30.

Z Girl Club

4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 265-3233

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 93

IONPHOENIX

92

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

1.

Amsterdam

718 N. Central Ave. - Downtown Phoenix

(602) 258-6122

2.

Apollo’s

5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 277-9373

3.

Bar 1

3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix

(602) 266-9001

4.

BS West

7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

(480) 945-9028

5.

Bunkhouse

4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 200-9154

6.

Cash Inn

2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 244-9943

7.

Charlie’s

727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 265-0224

8.

NEW! Cherry Bar

1028 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 277-7729

9.

NEW! Cherry Lounge

Every Thursday starting January 11th - Mill Ave. in Tempe

10.

The Chute Men’s Club

1440 E Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 234-1654

C

Clarendon Hotel

401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix

(602) CLARENDON

11.

Club Vibe

3031 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 224-9977

12.

Cruisin’ 7th

3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 212-9888

13.

Dick’s Cabaret

3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 274-DICK

14.

NEW! The Door

1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Tempe

(602) 967-DOOR

15.

Forbidden

6820 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale

forbiddenaz.com

16.

Homme

138 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0875

17.

icepics videobar

3108 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 267-8707

18.

Incognito

2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 955-9805

19.

Karamba

1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 254-0231

20.

Kobalt

3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 264-5307

21.

OZ

1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 242-5114

22.

Plazma

1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 266-0477

23.

Pumphouse II

4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 275-3509

24.

Retro Bar

3114 E. Cactus Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 493-0355

25.

The Rock

4129 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 248-8559

26.

Roscoe’s

4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix

(602) 285-0833

27.

Taylor’s Tavern

15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 867-2463

28.

Velocity

2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix

(602) 956-2885

29.

Wild Card

801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler

(480) 857-3088

30.

Z Girl Club

4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix

(602) 265-3233

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 93

�������������������

IONBAR GUIDE PHOENIX

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Discount Cab: Yellow Cab: AAA Cab:

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602-200-2000 602-252-5252 602-437-4000

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 95

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 95

IONTUCSON

CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Ain’t Nobody’s Biz Colors Howl at the Moon IBT’s Miguel’s Mexican Restaurant Venture-N Woody’s Yard Dog

2900 E. Broadway 5305 E. Speedway 915 W. Prince Rd. 616 N. 4th Ave. 5900 N. Oracle Rd. 1239 N. 6th Ave. 3710 N. Oracle Rd. 2449 N. Stone

(520) 318-4838 (520) 323-1840 (520) 293-7339 (520) 882-3053 (520) 887-3777 (520) 882-8224 (520) 292-6702 (520) 624-3858

445 S. Alvernon Way 5335 E. Broadway Blvd.

5900 N. Oracle Rd. 204 S. Scott Ave. 3800 E. Sunrise Dr.

(520) 881-4200 (520) 745-2700 (520) 887-4800 (877) 670-9022 (520) 742-6000

ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING 1 2 3 4 5

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Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park Embassy Suites La Posada Lodge and Casitas Royal Elizabeth B&B The Westin La Paloma

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 97

IONTUCSON

CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Ain’t Nobody’s Biz Colors Howl at the Moon IBT’s Miguel’s Mexican Restaurant Venture-N Woody’s Yard Dog

2900 E. Broadway 5305 E. Speedway 915 W. Prince Rd. 616 N. 4th Ave. 5900 N. Oracle Rd. 1239 N. 6th Ave. 3710 N. Oracle Rd. 2449 N. Stone

(520) 318-4838 (520) 323-1840 (520) 293-7339 (520) 882-3053 (520) 887-3777 (520) 882-8224 (520) 292-6702 (520) 624-3858

445 S. Alvernon Way 5335 E. Broadway Blvd.

5900 N. Oracle Rd. 204 S. Scott Ave. 3800 E. Sunrise Dr.

(520) 881-4200 (520) 745-2700 (520) 887-4800 (877) 670-9022 (520) 742-6000

ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING 1 2 3 4 5

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Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park Embassy Suites La Posada Lodge and Casitas Royal Elizabeth B&B The Westin La Paloma

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 97

ION HOLIDAY PARTY

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January 2009

ION ARIZONA CENTER

PHOENIX, ARIZONA January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 99

ION HOLIDAY PARTY

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January 2009

ION ARIZONA CENTER

PHOENIX, ARIZONA January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 99

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 101

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January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 101

by Addison DeWitt

2009 is so IN, and 2008 is so very, very out, darlings. Was it ever really “in”?

George Bush: oh-so-“out” – as in “of his mind” as well as The White House, finally – thank all the collective Gods and Goddesses. President Barack Obama: in, in, in! We’ve got so much to look forward to now.

Sorry, drag queens.

RuPaul is “out” despite another pathetic attempt at a comeback with a reality series on LOGO. But Lady Bunny is “in”! That oh-so-clever little varmint be-dazzled her fans at Amsterdam for their 10th Anniversary party with a supercalafragilisticex pealidocious performance.

Fans included Andrew McArthur and pal Andy Willette (top) and Wild Card’s sizzling, sultry and seductive bartender Waylon Smith (bottom) was seen with my heartbeguiling Corey Blanchette. That highly illustrated man David Kitchen whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

Not really. But I wish he had.

Here to prove that “Forty is the New Twenty-Two-and-a-Half” is the always “in” First Guy of District Four, David Smith, who celebrated a milestone birthday with a surprise party thrown by none other than his huz, The Honorable (and also

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WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

quite youthful for an undetermined and not-to-be-revealed-even-if-I-did-knowand-I-do-know age) Tom Simplot, our “out” (in a good way) Phoenix City Councilman. The timeless and ageless Miss Ebony (pictured next page, bottom) greeted guests with champagne at the door. The couple’s gracious Yaple Park estate was packed to the rafters with glamoraries like Jim Fay and Michael Gorman.

“Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah …” and it was none other than Todd Bradford who played Julia Child, preparing quiche, pâté, cream puffs and other divoon hors d’oeuvres for guests and well-wishers.

“Out” is derelict downtown real estate. After many a deal gone south, we hear that the long vacant building with the Chrysler Star window on the 4700 N. Central across from Brophy is soon slated to house a Hawaiian-themed bar and grill. Like Phoenicians, the Hawaiian language has no word for “snow.” So say, “Aloha,” my little wahinis! We’ll be doing the hula, eating Spam™burgers, drinking Mai-Tais and Singapore Slings along the Metro Light Rail before you can say, “Mahalo nui loa,” my little kumquats.

Kumon’ai’wonalay-ia!

Staying home watching TV is “out.” It’s “in” to go see live theatre. Culture Vultures

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 103

by Addison DeWitt

2009 is so IN, and 2008 is so very, very out, darlings. Was it ever really “in”?

George Bush: oh-so-“out” – as in “of his mind” as well as The White House, finally – thank all the collective Gods and Goddesses. President Barack Obama: in, in, in! We’ve got so much to look forward to now.

Sorry, drag queens.

RuPaul is “out” despite another pathetic attempt at a comeback with a reality series on LOGO. But Lady Bunny is “in”! That oh-so-clever little varmint be-dazzled her fans at Amsterdam for their 10th Anniversary party with a supercalafragilisticex pealidocious performance.

Fans included Andrew McArthur and pal Andy Willette (top) and Wild Card’s sizzling, sultry and seductive bartender Waylon Smith (bottom) was seen with my heartbeguiling Corey Blanchette. That highly illustrated man David Kitchen whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

Not really. But I wish he had.

Here to prove that “Forty is the New Twenty-Two-and-a-Half” is the always “in” First Guy of District Four, David Smith, who celebrated a milestone birthday with a surprise party thrown by none other than his huz, The Honorable (and also

102

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

quite youthful for an undetermined and not-to-be-revealed-even-if-I-did-knowand-I-do-know age) Tom Simplot, our “out” (in a good way) Phoenix City Councilman. The timeless and ageless Miss Ebony (pictured next page, bottom) greeted guests with champagne at the door. The couple’s gracious Yaple Park estate was packed to the rafters with glamoraries like Jim Fay and Michael Gorman.

“Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah …” and it was none other than Todd Bradford who played Julia Child, preparing quiche, pâté, cream puffs and other divoon hors d’oeuvres for guests and well-wishers.

“Out” is derelict downtown real estate. After many a deal gone south, we hear that the long vacant building with the Chrysler Star window on the 4700 N. Central across from Brophy is soon slated to house a Hawaiian-themed bar and grill. Like Phoenicians, the Hawaiian language has no word for “snow.” So say, “Aloha,” my little wahinis! We’ll be doing the hula, eating Spam™burgers, drinking Mai-Tais and Singapore Slings along the Metro Light Rail before you can say, “Mahalo nui loa,” my little kumquats.

Kumon’ai’wonalay-ia!

Staying home watching TV is “out.” It’s “in” to go see live theatre. Culture Vultures

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 103

(Continued)

like last year’s sexiest bartender, the adorable Sean Thompson and pal Brett Wilke went to Stray Cat Theatre’s zany, Dianetically profane production of A Very Merry, Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant. Contrary to Sean’s MySpace. com bio, he is not a Scientologist although he does think Tom Cruise is hot.

Whoring around is “out,” and gay marriage is “in” even if voters say it’s “out.” This is going to change. Even Bar1 coowner Todd Colin and that blushing bud of ever blooming beauty, his boyfriend Todd Christensen (pictured top) tied the knot in sunny San Diego last year while it was legal. Now how much more “in” can you be than to do that?

Sorry, but your iPods are “out,” kiddies.

What’s “in” is live vocal performance concerts, like those from the Phoenix Metropolitan Men’s Chorus, or as I like to call them, “The More Men Testicle Knocker Choir” who wowed audiences with their annual Holiday show “Winter Wonderland” with Marc Gaston directing the choir, while the scrummy Scott Helms at the helm, conducted the talented Philharmonic Ensemble. The show was a smashing success. I am happy to publish to all my readers that I can give my own personal celebrity

104

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

endorsement and testimony publicly acknowledging that handsome Chorus Bass Gary Jackson is the best kisser in town. And you can quote me on that.

Please, do. Seriously.

A welcome addition to the PMMC is the dreamy Alex Chambers, their talented Sign Language Interpreter whom I couldn’t help but notice skillfully signaled me many, many times with several suggestive and elaborately “signed” ideas about what he would like to do with me. It involved lots of “in” and “out” and “in” and “out” signs, if you know what I mean. You don’t have to be hard of hearing to understand some things, sweeties.

Don’t miss the next PMMC concert, A Comedy Tonight or Love Gone Wrong with diminutive, comedic actor Leslie Jordan on February 14 at the newly renovated Memorial Concert Hall at Steele Indian School Park. All the “in” people will be there.

It’s 2009 now, poppets. Whether you have an “inny” or an “outty,” remember that it’s always “in” to go “out” and it’s “in” to be “out” to your family and friends. Whether you’re introspective or outgoing, be happy who you are. Happy New Year!

If you’re a little bit “out” there, you can contact Addison DeWitt with your “in”sights at RumorHound@aol.com 105

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 105

(Continued)

like last year’s sexiest bartender, the adorable Sean Thompson and pal Brett Wilke went to Stray Cat Theatre’s zany, Dianetically profane production of A Very Merry, Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant. Contrary to Sean’s MySpace. com bio, he is not a Scientologist although he does think Tom Cruise is hot.

Whoring around is “out,” and gay marriage is “in” even if voters say it’s “out.” This is going to change. Even Bar1 coowner Todd Colin and that blushing bud of ever blooming beauty, his boyfriend Todd Christensen (pictured top) tied the knot in sunny San Diego last year while it was legal. Now how much more “in” can you be than to do that?

Sorry, but your iPods are “out,” kiddies.

What’s “in” is live vocal performance concerts, like those from the Phoenix Metropolitan Men’s Chorus, or as I like to call them, “The More Men Testicle Knocker Choir” who wowed audiences with their annual Holiday show “Winter Wonderland” with Marc Gaston directing the choir, while the scrummy Scott Helms at the helm, conducted the talented Philharmonic Ensemble. The show was a smashing success. I am happy to publish to all my readers that I can give my own personal celebrity

104

WWW.IONAZ.COM January 2009

endorsement and testimony publicly acknowledging that handsome Chorus Bass Gary Jackson is the best kisser in town. And you can quote me on that.

Please, do. Seriously.

A welcome addition to the PMMC is the dreamy Alex Chambers, their talented Sign Language Interpreter whom I couldn’t help but notice skillfully signaled me many, many times with several suggestive and elaborately “signed” ideas about what he would like to do with me. It involved lots of “in” and “out” and “in” and “out” signs, if you know what I mean. You don’t have to be hard of hearing to understand some things, sweeties.

Don’t miss the next PMMC concert, A Comedy Tonight or Love Gone Wrong with diminutive, comedic actor Leslie Jordan on February 14 at the newly renovated Memorial Concert Hall at Steele Indian School Park. All the “in” people will be there.

It’s 2009 now, poppets. Whether you have an “inny” or an “outty,” remember that it’s always “in” to go “out” and it’s “in” to be “out” to your family and friends. Whether you’re introspective or outgoing, be happy who you are. Happy New Year!

If you’re a little bit “out” there, you can contact Addison DeWitt with your “in”sights at RumorHound@aol.com 105

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 105

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20 Virgo Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Cha-ching! The New Year will bring you unexpected fortune. Put on our best game face (false eyelashes optional) and keep all your chips on the table.

Libra Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Be daring and venture in to forbidden territory. Put on your best Sunday bonnet, head to the most fundamentalist church you can find, and give those church ladies a real reason to pray.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov. 23

January will be full of kooky and embarrassing moments, but when they laugh at you, laugh with them. Psst... your fly is down.

Sagittarius Nov. 23-Dec. 23

Time for a new pair of kicks. Lately, a walk in your shoes feels like a marathon, so at the very least you deserve to feel fancy on your feet.

Capricorn Dec. 23- Jan. 20

Raise a glass and find a reason to “Cheers!” But whatever you do, keep drinking before reality sets in again.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Take the advice of Prince and in 2009, “Party Like It’s 1999.” Just remember to update your wardrobe a little before heading out to the club.

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January 2009

The New Year is a perfect time to reinvent old pick up lines that may have not worked so well last year. So, what’s your sign, anyway? (Oh wait, I already know that.)

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20 Let your line shine bright. But girl, please do us all a favor and take those damn Christmas lights down already.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

Get lucky on the light rail! And if you can’t find your mack on the new Metro, I’m sure there’s still some real catches on the city bus.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Don’t let the aftermath of your holiday hangover damper your mojo. Instead, put on your ugliest Christmas sweater and shove your face full of that everso-tempting fruitcake.

Cancer June 22 - July 22 This winter, start a band. In spring, break up. Plan a summer reunion tour. In the fall go solo, but lip-sync all your songs. By next year’s horoscope, you’re going to be so famous.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

You’re sitting on a gold mine. Seriously, gather all those shitty Christmas gifts you’ve received and head to Wal-Mart. Trust me, they’ll exchange anything.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 107

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20 Virgo Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Cha-ching! The New Year will bring you unexpected fortune. Put on our best game face (false eyelashes optional) and keep all your chips on the table.

Libra Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Be daring and venture in to forbidden territory. Put on your best Sunday bonnet, head to the most fundamentalist church you can find, and give those church ladies a real reason to pray.

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov. 23

January will be full of kooky and embarrassing moments, but when they laugh at you, laugh with them. Psst... your fly is down.

Sagittarius Nov. 23-Dec. 23

Time for a new pair of kicks. Lately, a walk in your shoes feels like a marathon, so at the very least you deserve to feel fancy on your feet.

Capricorn Dec. 23- Jan. 20

Raise a glass and find a reason to “Cheers!” But whatever you do, keep drinking before reality sets in again.

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19

Take the advice of Prince and in 2009, “Party Like It’s 1999.” Just remember to update your wardrobe a little before heading out to the club.

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January 2009

The New Year is a perfect time to reinvent old pick up lines that may have not worked so well last year. So, what’s your sign, anyway? (Oh wait, I already know that.)

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20 Let your line shine bright. But girl, please do us all a favor and take those damn Christmas lights down already.

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20

Get lucky on the light rail! And if you can’t find your mack on the new Metro, I’m sure there’s still some real catches on the city bus.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

Don’t let the aftermath of your holiday hangover damper your mojo. Instead, put on your ugliest Christmas sweater and shove your face full of that everso-tempting fruitcake.

Cancer June 22 - July 22 This winter, start a band. In spring, break up. Plan a summer reunion tour. In the fall go solo, but lip-sync all your songs. By next year’s horoscope, you’re going to be so famous.

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22

You’re sitting on a gold mine. Seriously, gather all those shitty Christmas gifts you’ve received and head to Wal-Mart. Trust me, they’ll exchange anything.

January 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 107

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