BOUNDARY BASICS

WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO: RIGHT OF WAY

• say no without shame or guilt.

• see our needs as important as the needs of others.

• see value in your own opinions.

• not feel pressured to rise up to others’ unrealistic expectations.

• be treated with respect and dignity.

Boundaries make you better for others. Making the effort to preserve your time and your emotional energy is a form of self-care. Only when you first care for yourself can you authentically care for and give to others in your life.

Boundaries and limits aren’t set in stone.

Most things about you and your life change over time. Your priorities shift. Your personal needs and perspectives evolve. Your boundaries and limits should be flexible, too, so they can grow with you. Take the time to think through your current boundaries and how well they work with your current interests, commitments and relationships. If you need to reassess and redraw the lines, do.

Embrace the diversity of boundaries. Setting limits and boundaries isn’t a one-size-fits-all exercise. Everyone is different, therefore, the way we each need to relate to others is different too. Many things affect where our individual and unique boundary lines lie: What we were taught growing up, where we come from, our personality type, even our ethnicity and religion. All of these things should be taken into account when you work to identify the boundaries that make you most comfortable.

HOW TO KEEP BOUNDARIES:

Once you know what your limits are, practice makes perfect in maintaining them.

• Clearly communicate your boundaries to others so you set the right expectations in them.

• Be honest and assertive when you say no.

• Respect others when they say no, too.

• You control your boundaries; don’t let them control you. Again, they should be flexible and work to your benefit.