Metra Issue 978 - JUNE 2024

DoxyPEP

122 E Nine Mile Road Ferndale, MI 48220

O: (248)543-3500

E: Info@Metramagazine.com

Published monthly (est. 1979)

Co-Owner & Story Editor: Charlie Frontera

Co-Owner & Chief Editor: Frankie Wingle

Operations Coordinator: Justin Bettcher

Contributing Writers: TJ Drinksof

Davey Shadow

Dr. Joe Kort

Keegan Michelson

Tiki

Tim Nakie

Josh Mendelson SANTOS of Santos & Crystal Visions

Art Layout/Design: Jerry Leasure

Additional Photography: RaeD8 Photography Frankie Wingle Cameron Banks

Midwest/Local Sales: Charlie Frontera 248-543-3500

National Advertising: Rivendell Media 212-242-6863

Distributors: Eddie Desormeau Brad Simmons Nicholas Wendling UPS

Go Ahead . . . Visit your local bathhouse!

Entering a local sex-positive space can be an empowering step towards exploring your sexuality and connecting with a like-minded community. However, the fear of encountering someone you know can often hold you back from these enriching experiences. It’s important to remember that these spaces are designed to be safe, respectful, and confidential, ensuring that everyone feels comfortable and secure in their exploration.

Sex-positive communities operate on the principles of mutual respect and discretion. Just as you would want your privacy respected, others in these spaces adhere to the same unspoken rule of confidentiality. If you do see someone you know, they are likely to be just as committed to maintaining privacy and discretion as you are. Recognizing this shared understanding can help alleviate the initial

discomfort and allow you to focus on your personal journey.

Ultimately, the purpose of visiting a sex-positive spaces for personal growth and self-discovery. Letting the fear of seeing a familiar face overshadow this goal can prevent you from experiencing the benefits these environments offer. By embracing the principles of respect and confidentiality, you can overcome this fear and fully enjoy the supportive and liberating atmosphere of sex-positive spaces.

Remember, everyone is there for similar reasons, and the focus should be on your own journey and the enriching experiences that await you.

There are plenty of sex positive spaces for men in the region. We have Body Zone in Detroit, the Diplomat Club in Grand Rapids, Club Tabu in Lansing and there’s plenty of niche clubs like Motor City Jacks.

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Affirmations Spotlight

Roxanne Mitchell Board Member

How long have you been with Affirmations?

I have been on the Affirmations board of directors for about 3 years.

What is Affirmations to you?

A supportive environment that provides unconditional acceptance for the LGBTQ+ community and our allies.

When you’re not working, what do you do for fun?

Concerts, theater, traveling, gardening, and spending time with friends and family.

What subject do you wish was taught in every school?

1) Mental health and stress management

2) Money management - how to save money or invest wisely, use credit cards with caution, do your taxes and create a budget.

What’s something you want everyone to know about Affirmations? It’s built on a foundation of inclusion for the LGBTQ+ community. We offer support, encouragement, and a place where you can feel safe being YOU! free of judgement or criticism.

The Myth That Won’t Die

As a sex therapist for nearly four decades, I am concerned about a return of the myth that LGBTQ people are the way they are due to having been traumatized by sexual abuse as children. I see evidence of this persistent and growing myth on social media and other sources.

This is a false narrative.

First, let me define “trauma.” This is having something emotionally charged happen to you and not being able to express it—which most LGBT individuals have to live with. The child lacks the emotional, maturational, and cognitive development to deal with the abuse. Luring a child into a sexual relationship is based upon an all-powerful and dominant position of the adult or adolescent perpetrator. This authority and power enable the perpetrator to coerce child into sexual compliance.

However, while this is overtly traumatizing, children who have natural feelings of sexual attraction to the same sex are more frequently subjected to covert traumatization by the homophobic and heterosexist culture in which they must live. This is abuse that causes painful effects very similar to those of sexual/physical abuse. LGBT children and adolescents are emotionally overloaded and burdened by having to keep the “sexual” secret of who they are being unable to talk about it to anyone. Thus, they are forced to play a role of being heterosexual and cisgender in order to exist in relative harmony with the society surrounding them. When they constantly suffer the taunts of others such as being called a faggot, sissy boy, a queer, or even when they hear someone in school say, “That’s so gay,” it can be equally or similarly traumatizing.

The daily suppression of one’s sexual feelings is as traumatizing as sexual abuse. Children (and adults) are bombarded

found and part of their identity, leading to core beliefs such as: I am bad and unworthy; I am damaged goods; The world is a dangerous place; and my needs are never going to be met. These beliefs can easily lead to such things as:

* Inappropriately sexualized affection

* Preoccupation with sex

* Deadening of all feelings to avoid sexual arousal

* Isolation, and short-lived relationships.

* Internalized homophobia

* Addictions (chemical dependency)

* Mood disorders such as depression/anxiety

* Phobias (HIV)

* Low self-esteem

* Poor self-care, high-risk behavior

Despite this myth that I see renewed and growing in our present-day culture, especially among conservatives, I am confident saying that sexual abuse does not lead to sexual orientation. I have found little to no research that confirms the opposite.

In fact, several important studies find that, among other causes of trauma, adolescents who reveal their same-sex sexual orientation are often targeted for maltreatment1, and adolescents exploring same-sex attractions may put themselves in risky situations, increasing likelihood of maltreatment2, and sexual orientation minorities disproportionately exhibit gender-nonconforming behaviors in childhood3, increasing likelihood of maltreatment4.

People come into my office believing that they are attracted to the same sex due to sexual abuse in childhood, but when we explore their background we can’t find any sexual abuse because it isn’t there. There is no research that confirms sexu

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Continued on next page.

Continued on next page.

Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, continued on the next page and at BIKTARVY.com.

Meet a few of the extraordinary people who take BIKTARVY. Watch their stories at BIKTARVY.com

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People

Whore - o - Scopes Whore - o - Scopes

With Jupiter just entering Gemini, your natural 3rd house begins a year-long activation! The planet of expansion, higher learning, and optimism moves into the realm of your local community, boundaries, respect, and communication. This is a wonderful time for you to explore the current city you’re living in, settle down if you’ve been on the go, or return back to somewhere that holds a significant special place in your heart. As for lovers and love affairs, novelty, curiosity, and new experiences will be the name of the game! Prepare yourself for a spicy little fiesta, Ram! Prepare yourself for a significant boost and blessing over your finances, personal values, and stability, TAURUS! Jupiter will gracefully be moving into your second house and bring forward motion into the physical and sensual world. Not only will you find yourself in positions of security and comfort, but Mars will be gracing your first house at the beginning of the month. This will bring a significant charge and focus on matters of the self, personal development, and taking charge where you may normally tend to move at your own pace. Expect a little extra pep in your step, Bull, and some extra horniness to go with it! If there was ever a time to prepare for positivity, blessings, and good luck, this next year will be blessing your life with significant upgrades. As Jupiter has entered your first house, this is a period of time where you will be alleviated of much of the duality, confusion, loss, or chaos that has ensued since the pandemic. You’ll now be moving into a period where you feel tremendous support from your local community, an overall sense of happiness or expansion in self-development and personal power, and an especially optimistic and joyful approach in everything you do. Don’t be surprised if you’re attracting more attention than normal during this period – it’s your time to shine, GEMINI, and don’t you forget it!

As Jupiter sashays into your 12th house over the next year, this is a significant period of focusing on turning inward, reviewing the trajectory of your life, and finding light in moments of introspection, solitude, and ultimately, profound transformation. Jupiter’s presence here will bring unexpected and unseen rewards while also allowing you to chip away at unconscious forces which may have been running the show for a while. Mid-way through the month, Venus enters Cancer, bringing a significant blessing upon your physical appearance, charisma, and charm. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself attracting new suitors and be prepared to be pampered!

It’s time to step into a role of enlightenment, Leo! With Jupiter in Gemini activating your 11th house for the

next year, prepare yourself for humanitarian efforts, non-attachment and letting go, and allowing yourself to become part of the group rather than shining as the leader or star. This will certainly be a period where building up your network will allow you to achieve larger goals that serve both you and the collective in harmony. This placement may allow for a lover (or a few lovers) to enter your sphere, while also asking you to focus more on your local community. Don’t be surprised if you’re sexually a bit more experimental and adventurous during this period. Full steam ahead, Lion!

It’s all about career, public image, and climbing the ladder of self-actualization over this next year as Jupiter, the planet of expansion and joy, enters your 10th house! This transit brings an extra fruitful and abundant nature to the day to day happenings of your life, just don’t be surprised if you happen to find yourself a bit more busy than usual. Mars entering Taurus at the beginning of this month also brings a tremendous push towards your 9th house, so don’t be surprised if you have some sudden travel plans this month. This is certainly a time that’s focusing less on your personal life and more on career, so MAKE THAT BANK, Virgo! With the planet of expansion, international travel, joy, and good luck (Jupiter), entering your 9th house, it’s time to step into a period of prosperity, Libra! Jupiter transiting this portion of your chart will bring positive twists of fate that could relate to a promotion at work or a trip to take you to an exotic destination or novel adventure. You may just find yourself in the center of a whirlwind love affair that sweeps you off your feet or making a major life changing decision that ultimately has positive long-standing effects on your life. Whatever the case may be, you can absolutely be sure that your life will be filled with new changes and great fun, Libra! While your nature is typically mysterious, sexual, and intense, Scorpio, prepare yourself for an incredible activation! As Jupiter transits into your 8th house, this is a time where your strengths, talents, and natural inclinations shine! Because the 8th house is in analogy with Scorpio and Jupiter shines a light here over the next year, this will be a period of profound growth and change in ways that bring about a significant upgrade in your life. Themes such as choosing to move on from old dynamics that no longer serve, using your boundaries and self-respect to garner more for yourself, and bringing more activity to your sex life can certainly be expected! Don’t be afraid to test the waters, Scorpio! Well, well, well, Sagittarius – as the sign that typically prefers freedom and adventure, it’s time for you to

step into the role of the girl-next-door. Don’t be surprised if you enter a new relationship, find yourself making a serious commitment when it comes to romantic love, or simply learning to become more relatable to others over the next year. While your bread and butter is typically more focused on how to explore every uncharted possibility, this transit invites you to ask yourself, “what really matters?” and it’s likely this will come down to who you’re closest to! Don’t be afraid to share your heart, dear centaur!

As Jupiter ingresses into your 6th house over the next year, Capricorn, prepare to become more efficient, energized on the day to day, focused on your health, and seeing results. For the sign who loves work and career, you’ll find that your administrative prowess, time management skills, and overall refinement of your life’s direction and goals gets a significant expansion. If you’ve been feeling like life has been throwing significant challenges and hurdles your way, prepare for a transition that will knock your socks off and have electricity coursing through your veins. Everyone will ask you what’s gotten into you, and you’ll simply have to say your riding the winds of Jupiter, dear Goat! Although your primary focuses is on helpfulness, humanitarian pursuits, or the brilliance of your mind, this next year will be a total change of pace, Aquarius! As Jupiter in Gemini activates your natural 5th house, this is a period of time where you’re summoned to put yourself first, focus on building yourself up as much as possible, and stepping into the main character energy that you so frequently avoid. Prepare for significant expansion around overall recognition in your life and don’t be surprised if the good things in your life tend to want to stick around. As the sign of non-attachment, commitment is something you may not be running towards, however, something about this one might just be a little different. Don’t be afraid, Aqua! Love is in the air!

As the planet of joy and expansion graces your natural 4th house, Jupiter brings a significant upswing to your personal life! This will be a year long transit that invites positive change at home and takes you out of the work environment to experience significant upgrades and wins away from your job. Whether it’s moving, getting into a relationship, improving a current relationship, or a significant event that activates home, don’t be worried if the focus happens to be more on what’s going on when you’re not on the clock at work. Instead, enjoy the rewards and blessings Jupiter will bring you. You deserve a little love and happiness, Pisces!

PrEP can reduce your chance of getting HIV by up to 99%. That’s very empowering. Want to see why others are being proactive about their sexual health? See what other Michiganders say about it and take the next steps.

Freshly single snd ready to mingle, I figured I might as well enjoy life. I decided I’d go to a music festival not too far from home, a lot of friends usually go so I figured it would be a great time. Day 2 of the festival I started a conversation with a guy that kept making eye contact, like staring me down. I ask him why he doesn’t just approach me. It wasn’t like that - He said he I had a beautiful smile, I started to blush and looked away. My face was beat red and I know it. I looked back at him and we started making out. While making out his hands mode down my body, ending with his hand on my groin. I figured I had about 60 seconds to get my getaway

from this guy without seeming rude, I don’t mind the attention, but damn did it feel awkward having someone be so forward in public. So many trees we could’ve snuck behind, but not my thing. I quickly started saying on repeat ““You’re clean, right?”, it took him a few seconds to come to realization what I was potentially asking, I was asking if he took a shower. But, he perceived it I was asking about STD’s. I guess he wasn’t clean.

I did end up meeting someone who turned my tables.

On-going Men’s Counseling Group

For those who identify as male to help process past childhood sexual trauma Contact this office for

MOTOR CITY’S GAY BAR

PACKAGE MONDAYS

Show off your hottest underwear!

KARAOKE TUESDAYS

Hosted by Brad & Lily with Unity Sound

BEARS OUT FRIDAYS

Grab a drink and take a load off!

PATI-HOE SUNDAYS

Patio drinks and fun!

GRAND OPENING EVENT

Saturday, June 8th, 9PM-2AM

Join us and celebrate after Motor City Pride!

BLUF DETROIT SOCIAL

Saturday, June 8th, 5PM-8PM

DETROIT BONDAGE CLUB

Saturday, June 22nd, 8PM

Join

Hey Everyone! I’m Josh and I’m a single gay man living in the Metro Detroit area in my mid 30s. I’ve spent many years in this community! I’ve had some great memories and some pretty bad ones but in the end it’s shaped me up to be who I am! In my 20s I really thrived and made a name for myself. I had a big group of friends and we had a blast together living it up with many nights at Pronto and vacations to Chicago on the regular. It was a great time, but as we know great times don’t last forever. I started to struggle with my mental health in my late 20s and developed a binge eating disorder. I got to a point in my mental health journey where I didn’t feel loved in this community. I got to 365 lbs in a toxic relationship while isolating myself to my couch not

wanting to be seen in public. It got to the point where I had enough and I was ready for a change! After many failed diets and weight loss fad attempts (ozempic) I made the decision in October of 2023 to have bariatric surgery to better my life and health. Since then I have dropped 125 lbs and been on a journey of self love and discovery. Within the last 7 months My life has changed significantly and I am constantly meeting new people and going on new adventures. Join me each issue as I discuss my experiences in dating, hook up culture, events, and my new self discovery of self love and fitness. My goal is to inspire all of you to live your best lives. Believe me, I have a lot to say, and I don’t hold back. Can’t wait to take this journey with all of you!

BABYLON BRIDGE