The
FOR THE LOCALS BY THE LOCALS
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JUNE 2010 Nยบ 72
LOOKING GREAT FOR THE WORLD CUP ! Get your free wall chart inside
plus More ITV CHANGES
Buying a house in Spain
INTERNATIONAL WILLS
HELLO, GOOD READING...& WELCOME TO...
and.... EVEN more areas covered
Cabo Roig, Punta Prima & Playa Flamenca
GRAN ALACANT- SANTA POLA - LA MARINA - GUARDAMAR - ROJALES CATRAL - ALBATERA - HONDONS - LA ROMANA & PINOSO
FRONT COVER Danielle Wright, 21 - model from GA & the pretty face of Jungle Drums, Sandra Claderon Molina, 19 - Santa Pola’s
and
Fiesta Queen, cheer on our teams.
this month
4/5 HAVE YOU GOT CRABS? Buying local fresh fish
I got invited out the other night…by a lovely Spanish woman no
make Pat Butcher smile, and
less. A phone call from her and ten minutes later I was showered,
enough liquid to test the
changed and ready to go.
fittest bladder and it was
Half an hour later we met in town and went for an aperitif in a
over…and there was me
quiet bar before moving on to the restaurant - I’d booked it earlier,
earlier in the evening just
in-between the shower and getting dressed – and it was here that
hoping for a quick nibble…
we bumped into a couple of her friends. Three hours later and with
9 ANDREA BURNS... International Wills
several other friends and various members of her extended family
Also this month I had a rude
in tow – and a few more bars patronised - we were within spitting
awakening when I jumped out
11 LIVING THE LIFE...
distance of the restaurant. The same restaurant where I’d reserved
of my skin one night as I took
Life as an expat
a table in readiness for a cosy meal for two…and we should have
the rubbish out and lifted the lid
13 ASK THE LAWYER...
been there two hours previously. But, as usual, when I’m out with
of the big grey bin to discover a Moro
a beautiful woman...I was not using my brain to do the thinking
grinning at me (toothless) from the inside
and had left the restaurant number at home, so it was a case of
(with a miners torch on his head). After a
pacifying the owner when we eventually got there.
quick ‘hola’ he was back to it – head down, and rummaging, - so
We got there at just after midnight. All fourteen of us. And, as ever
I turned my attention to the adjacent bin, where a lot of noise was
18/19 LIFE ON AN URB...
in Spain, the owner didn’t bat an eyelid when asked to make room
coming from, to find his wife, scouring the bags for her particular
for another dozen people at the cosy corner table…how romantic.
brand of treasure…and another toothless smile – complemented
21 HEALTH CARE IN SPAIN...
After another two and a half hours of eating and drinking and more
with a cheery ‘Buenos Noches’ then she was back to it… I love
Cover up!
eating, only interrupted by the Spanish family members asking
Spain…
25 WHAT’S ON...?
(shouting) me questions – all at once, and the end was in sight – the
Here’s a little gem I heard the other day about Ryanair…apparently
Buying & Selling a house
17 NATURE...
Tele-Birding
Goings on in Urban life
Get out & about
27-31 FREE WORLD CUP CHART 33-39
FUN FUN FUN...
Jokes and er...more jokes
41 MOTORING... ITV changes
43 COMPUTERS... Flickr
41
THE TROUBLE WITH SPAIN...
Sport
49 PUZZLES... Sooooo easy...
51 HOROSCOPES... Stars in your eyes
55 BUSINESS DIRECTORY...
All the businesses you’ll need!
and much much more!
&
restaurant was shutting. I got out, stuffed with the finest seafood
Michael O’Leary walked into a Dublin bar and ordered a pint of
and the cheapest wine, and with a back looking (and feeling) as if
Guinness, to which the barmen replied, ‘that’ll be 50 cents please.’
it was severely sunburnt after the whole lot of ‘em had slapped me
O’Leary, not believing his luck, said ‘My, that’s mighty cheap,’ to
as an affectionate way of saying goodbye. I remember the soccer
which the barmen replied….’Oh….were you wanting a glass with
riots of the eighties and I got slapped more gently by gorilla-shaped
that…?’
Arsenal fans back then than I did on this night.
But it was the end, and I could go home. Six hours, enough food to
If only eh…?
Read on..and enjoy,
Dave
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There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two small fish, but what are they among so many?" JOHN 6:9 (NKJV) "Only the best for the Captain's table", CAP’N BIRDSEYE 1983
HAVE YOU GOT CRABS ? ...and fresh Santa Pola crabs at that – the best crustaceans around (apart from a bowls team I saw last week… they were good) and seriously good food. Good for your health, good to taste and, possibly more important at the moment, good for your pocket. However, this isn’t a story just about crabs - that would be shellfish (geddit?) – what we’ve put together this month is a guide to buying your seafood, seeing as most of you reading this will live within a reasonably short drive from Santa Pola- the Mediterranean’s most important fishing port. We’ve all heard the story of the loaves and the fishes where more than five thousand people were miraculously fed, with just five loaves and two fishes. If that was to happen today…and my mum could do it, she seems to be able to feed as many people as will show up - and the cupboards remain full. But put the loaves and fishes story into a modern context and we’d probably just make a load of fish finger sandwiches. that’s what this article is about too really - the benefits of eating fresh fish, as opposed to a reconstituted mash in a burger bar called a ‘Seaman’s Slice’ or something, are enormous. Fish has oils in it that promotes healthy functioning of the brain and heart and seafood is also generally low in fat and high in other important nutrients including Omega 3 - which I thought was a film with Michael Caine ‘til I wrote this. So, apart from being one of the cheapest and healthiest forms of food, fresh seafood is also very easy to buy around here, and as I said earlier, especially in Santa Pola. In this town which relies heavily on the one hundred strong
4
fishing fleet that spend six days of the week at sea, we have an abundance of places to buy fresh – and I mean ‘that day fresh’ – including most of the large supermarket chains that are represented in the area. However, it stands to reason doesn’t it, that the closer you are to the town, the fresher your seafood will be. And within the town? It’s more than likely that it is just a few short hours since your chosen meal was swimming around wondering what was for dinner…and then realising…it was. That’s how fresh it is. At the MERCADILLO in the centre of town you’ll find that day’s (or the previous depending on times) displayed so that you can see the whole of the fish. Santapoleros know their fish and the vendors know what the locals want…good fish and they will soon let the vendor know should the produce not come up to standard. Take a walk along the port in the evening and you’ll come across the small cabins located behind the town hall. Here you’ll browse the seafood of the day which is, once again, laid out (pardon the pun) in readiness for the local housewives who will be along to natter, buy, natter a bit more and argue about the price, before bidding the vendor a fond farewell…until tomorrow. Mediterranean people live longer than the rest of us (a miracle if you’ve seen them drive) and those in the know tell us that it is not least because of their diet of seafood. The fact that they can smoke about 50,000 fags (each) every day and still curl their toes up years after us just endorses the argument, so if you don’t normally buy fresh fish, try it – you may be surprised. It’s simple to cook (we’ll give you some ideas next month) and just as cheap as buying a slab of Salmon with three eyes from
Buyeckistan or the like, and far tastier… unless eyes are your thing I suppose. A walk along the prom, a cool beer and then buy your dinner. A little olive oil and garlic along with the fish in the pan – and you have it…delicious, trust me.
STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408
Tips for Buying Fresh Whole Fish Full, clear, bright eyes. Bright red or pink, clean gills. Fresh, mild odour. Shiny, brightly coloured skin with tightly adhering scales. Firm flesh, elastic to the touch, clinging tightly to the bones.
Tips for buying live crabs, lobsters, and shrimp 1. Legs should be lively when touched unless the crustacean is soft-shelled (such as soft shell crabs).
2. The tail of a live lobster should curl under when lifted up. It should not hang limp. 3. Shellfish should feel weighty, not light or dry. 4. Raw shrimp should have translucent shells with a greyish green, a pinkishtan, or a pink tint. They should be moist and firm, not mushy.
Tips for buying live clams, mussels, oysters, scallops, and other molluscs
gaping shells that do not close when tapped. 2. Shells should be moist and intact, not cracked, dry or chipped. 3. Molluscs should have a clean ocean-fresh scent, not a fishy odour.
Tips for Buying Fresh Fillets and Steaks Glossy and freshly-cut appearance, firm texture. No signs of browning or drying around cut edges. No discoloration.
1. Shells should be tightly closed. If they are open, they should shut immediately when gently tapped. Discard
HAVE YOU GOT CRABS? If not you should have
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Fiscal help... INTERNATIONAL WILLS FOR SPANISH ASSETS I have come across a copy of an “International Will” for Spanish assets. The clients were assured of it’s validity in Spain. The information they were not given is the procedure necessary in order to have that kind of Last Will validated here in Spain. In case you are wondering now whether or not you have such a will, if you have signed a Spanish will in front of a notary you’re fine. All Last Wills attested by a Spanish notary are registered and probate can be finalised with that Will.
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The “International Will” I am talking about is not attested by a notary but simply signed by two witnesses. Since that type of will is not registered anywhere, it will have to pass the court, involving considerable expense to be paid in fees for a lawyer and attorney.
FISCAL REPRESENTATION
Apart from the increased budget required it will also extend the timeperiod for the probate.
NON-RESIDENTS’ INCOME TAX
If you happen to have made such a will I would advise you to make another one, properly attested by a Spanish notary. The extra expense right now will be far outweighed when probate is sought in the future.
NON-RES. CAPITAL GAINS TAX
Please contact me if you have any doubts or wish to seek clarification on your Last Will. You’ll find my contact details next to this article.
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HE CAME, HE SAW….HE WON’T GO BACK COLIN says his bit about life as an expat Now as you may or may not know, i have lived
regarding this subject but i now want to discuss
of it for
here 23 years so far and i have seen many
other things that are closer or were closer and
someone
changes and many faces come and go over the
of which i have fond regards. and that’s some of
who shall
years. Some changes have been for the better
the people i have known here in Spain over the
remain nameless.
and some for the worse, whichever way you
years who have either passed on to that great
And when a certain
want to interpret the meaning or the cause of
beach paradise in the sky…but this sort of thing
mechanic used these
the changes. Ever being the optimist i would say
i cannot write about too much because someone
cars for repairs to the
that some or most of the changes have been for
always knows someone else, but yes i have seen
existing fleet so that when
the better but on the other hand the pessimist
many come and go and lose a lot of money in the
the man called Pepe came
in yours truly throws up counter measures which
process from the man running a fishing boat for
to take away a car there
counter balance. Now i was originally attracted
fishing trips to the man who tried to open a car
was only what was left of
by the openness of the beaches along Arenales
spares shop. Now the idea might have been ok
a crunched body shell left
del Sol, and as for Guardamar and La Mata well
but the timing left a lot to be desired to say the
then the screaming
they were wonderful and open with lots of park-
least, when not many of the urbanisations had
started. After that a
ing areas and access to the beaches. Now? Well
even been conceived on paper let alone built. Or
private local break-
you only have to take the beach road into Santa
who were put out of business before they even
down truck was
Pola to see what i mean, then along came the
had a chance to get off the ground because in
used so no-one in
property boom and all the development along
them days - in the not so distant past - you had
the head office even
with it which entailed building as close to the sea
to have a Spanish partner to start a business
knew that a car was
as possible. The joke being that properties sold
here in Spain - before they joined the common
written off - if it was
as front line ended up having an apartment block
market fully.
picked up before
built in front of them with the all too familiar wall
I have heard of or encountered many of these
they knew.
and closed gates so no access was easily avail-
sorts of things over the 23 years of living here
So the list goes on
able. The occupants in these blocks regarding the
from people meeting a local waiter called shall
from estate agents
beach in front of them as a private beach with all
we say Pepe who spoke a bit of English and offer
with power of at-
the snobbery that entailed, then in 1988 along
some of these people a dream come true buying
torney to so called
came the Ley de Costas which has helped to
a bar in Spain and a new life. sending their local
property administra-
resolve the issue regarding these developments.
Pepe a small fortune to buy the bar which was
tors of urbanisations and the old favourite of a
Those of us around before this law used to say
duly done with their money all above board and
Spanish fiscal representative which seems to
they will be building on stilts in the sea before
on the level till they had been here six months
have died a death but the law was brought in
long but thankfully this never arose, but we had
only to arrive for work one day to find that the
about 10 or so years ago as i remember and was
a laugh about it at the time. Now all this building
bar had been sold by their so called business
a prescription for certain fiscal representatives to
has allowed a lot of people to afford a holiday
partner and friend Pepe. Because the deeds (es-
levy a non-existent tax on his customers and call
or retirement home in the sun and good luck to
critura) was bought in Pepe’s name only and once
it a payment tax so he could buy a new boat or
them and i do not begrudge them this small lux-
he had a property developer or someone else in-
another Mercedes car for his wife.
ury, in fact i quite like the idea of working class
terested in a up and running successful bar it was
As stated i have lived here a long while now and
people having this opportunity to own something
sold, also the car rental firm that had a Spanish
what i haven’t seen with my own eyes, I’ve heard
better than a beach hut at Clacton or Skegness.
partner and was set up with a lot of one man’s
about from the bar room lawyers who seem to be
It’s just the way the actual beach area has been
money only to be milked rotten by the Spanish
around everywhere, but i cannot say i have heard
spoiled that i have some reservations about
partner who was responsible for the buying and
them all yet…because i haven’t and something
because it has just spoilt it with all the build-
selling of the cars because they spoke Spanish.
new is always being talked about somewhere
ing so close. Anyway that’s my gripe over with
Even the wrecked cars were sold on paper for
along the coast.
for now unless something else rattles my cage
peanuts only to be repaired and a nice drink out
You can lead a horse to water… but a pint is better!Local riders from El Palmera stables
near Guardamar arrived at El Raso on horseback in May and enjoyed a cool beer…I suppose the horses ordered a red rum…?
Jim, Lisa, Julie and Gillian from La Palmera stables in Rojales
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ask@thejungledrums.com
ONE SHORT PLANK A quick note from the editor to the lady(?) in the blue t-shirt who complained loudly at Oro y Sal cafeteria in Gran Alacant last month… that the menu was in Spanish – well spotted love…do you want a lift to the airport…or you gonna walk? whichever– just go away. pic. A miserable old fat cow.
World Cup fever is turning up in unexpected places this summer-non more so than 10 metres underwater in the Costa Blanca! The dive crew at Dive Academy Santa Pola are offering 1/2 price dives, discover scubas and snorkeling experiences within 48 hours of your team winning a game during this summer's World Cup finals. Owner and PADI Instructor Damon Rose explains; 'We were going to offer the 1/2 price promotion within 24 hours of your team winning it's game but then we figured people might be a bit worse for wear the following morning after an important match! Basically we are offering divers or people wanting to learn to dive or snorkel a chance to celebrate their teams victory with a great days fun.' England supporter Damon is quite prepared for his team putting him out of pocket for a month. 'Obviously, personally I'd like England to do well but that could mean me giving away dozens of dive experiences to English tourists and expats if they go far in the tournament. Not forgetting Spain, Holland, Germany, Italy and France of course!' And who do Dive Academy expect to be giving away most 1/2 price dives to? 'Spain. I'd be very surprised if Spain didn't go very far'. And what about a Spain vs. England final?; ' I'm not sure we could afford that! However we could have a divers penalty shoot out underwater complete with scuba gear and fins before the actual final itself!'
Me and Mrs. Jones Not civil to the Guardia By Bully It had all started so well. A sunny afternoon, me putting up a fence in the garden while Mrs Jones and Meg soaked up some rays. Then the Guardia turned up. At first it wasn’t clear what exactly I’d done wrong to deserve the presence of two officers of the crown at my gate, but here they were. Apparently someone had smashed into a car and left the scene pretty rapidly, forgetting to fill out the accident form and disappearing into the distance. Apparently, that someone was me. Now at this point they asked to see my car, so I showed them. ‘No, the other car,’ said one of them with very bushy eyebrows (I actually wondered how he could see me but I bet they
are handy in the summer…). I offered the (honest) excuse that I didn’t have another but (apparently) I had acquired a BMW (black) with significant frontal damage. It didn’t matter what I said they insisted that I must have hidden it somewhere…all this was getting hard to take, especially with his eyebrows moving up and down as he talked. Eventually, they agreed to look at my ID and realised that my name, and the guy’s they were looking for, were completely different. At last, some common sense was going to prevail (I thought) but I was on another train of thought completely to eyebrows and his mate. My ID was false. It was checked, by phone, by radio all they failed to do was hold it up to my face and compare but they were not having it. Despite my protestations I was heading for the cooler (I know... but it’s the only way I can get my name in the same sentence as Steve McQueen…) and arrangements were made (by them) for me to be taken away. My knights in shining armour turned out to be the Local Police, who arrived in the nick (geddit?) of time and called me ‘Dave,’ I almost replied with an ‘I love you’ as eyebrows whipped his head between the two of us lost in the confusion. My friendly boys in blue began a serious sounding, although I
could only hear whispers, conversation, about me. The looks over the shoulder from all the officers were still unnerving; especially eyebrows and I began to worry for my future once again. Stripy pyjamas are just not me, especially the ones with arrows on. Anyway, to keep a long story long, it turned out that I didn’t have a BMW, hadn’t crashed and legged it and I was, in fact, the bloke that it said I was. Bit like Ronseal really. So everyone was happy once again, although eyebrows and co’ didn’t offer an apology but they did shake my hand over the gate. It was that point that Mrs Jones decided to put in an appearance and put her front paws on the top of the gate – eyeballing eyebrows – and then it happened. To give him credit he took it well and returned to his car without another word. Mrs Jones, for her part, had let out the longest belch I’ve heard from any animal, let alone a Great Dane, into his face. It was compounded by the noise of her cheeks rattling against her gums from the force of the escaping air, and Eyebrows er, eyebrows being pushed against his forehead. I don’t expect Eyebrows to hold a grudge, but just in case, if anyone can bake a nice jam sponge, with a file in it…
11
La Marina
June Offers SALE! Homes in Spain La Marina La Marina
Ref:454 144.500€
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2 bed, 2 bath det villa with under build & comm. Pool l
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Ref:433 122.500€
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2 bed, 1 bath sth facing, corner plot, comm. Pool. La marina.
Ref:441 119.500€
3 bed, 2 bath, quad conservatory, en-suite to master bed Utility Room, Separate Kitchen.
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Ref:445 128.500€
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3 bed, 2 bath, spacious quad, sep Kitchen, good location.
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2 bed, 1 bath, utility rm, Air Cond, comm. Pool South Facing, Priced to sell !
Ref:451 99.000€
2 bed, 1 bath immaculate ext terraced Fina and Ample Parking, Central Location.
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Ref:094
95.000€
2 bed, 1 bath spacious town house u/build & garage.
Ref:449 195.000€
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3 beds, 2 bath hugely ext,det Lola with garage/workshop.
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Ref:444 179.500€
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Avda. Londres 1-A, Local 8, Urb. La Marina San Fulgencio Office: 96 679 5233 email:info@ipgspain.com Visit our website to view our extensive range of properties:www.ipgspain.com 12
Ref:446
82.500€
3 Bed, 2 bath, Large 3 storey Townhouse, Picturesque location,
your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com
JLCA & AS Lawyers
ASK THE LAWYER… Top local lawyer Jose Luis answers your legal questions.
José-Luis Campillo & Asociados Abogados - Lawyers www.jlcalawyers.com
INDEPENDENT LAW & TAX ADVICE
BUYING AND SELLING PROPERTY IN SPAIN Many of you will already have an idea of the buying and selling processes in Spain, which are considerably more complicated than in the UK. There are many types of services which will offer assistance in these processes, but we would encourage people to use a lawyer – this is because it is our business, we have experience of the pitfalls and can often foresee issues where others would not, which can in the long-term save you money and undue anxiety caused by problems which can arise – especially regarding the taxes involved, for example capital gains, and the new increase on IVA for new built properties which will be implemented in July of this year
Buying - General Practice & Litigation - Claims against builders/promoters Advice on Tax Matters - Accountancy for companies/self employed - English & Spanish Inheritance Advice - Real Estate - N.I.E. Numbers - Power of Attorney, Bank Accounts - Resident Permits - Mortgages, Loans - Notary Deed - Registration of the deed at - Land Registry - Trademarks - Spanish Wills - Reposessions - Traffic Accidents - Changes of Foreign Cars to Spanish Registration
When a client decides to purchase a property in Spain, we provide them with the services listed below. They include all of the legal stages required to successfully complete a sale agreement, and thus avoid the numerous potential pitfalls: 1. After the client has decided to buy a property, the architect-surveyor issues an approval report for the property, which means the client can be sure they are not buying a property with hidden defects or flaws. This stage is optional, although we recommend that our clients commission this report, given the large amounts of money that are involved. 2. We search the Land Registry to find out what the legal situation of the property is, in order to verify whether or not it is encumbered, and if there are any facilities or difficulties attached to its purchase. 3. We draw up a private sale agreement before signing the Public Deed at the notary office. It is important to remember that in Spain the private sale agreement is extremely important. We cannot emphasize enough this point. Agreements made in this Private Purchase Contract are binding at the time of signing for the Title Deeds – Price, Conditions and Timescales. 4. We execute a power of attorney at the Notary’s office so that in the event of the client being unable to attend the sale, the Public Deed can be notarised at the Notary’s office within the deadline specified in the private sale agreement. If it is not possible to sign the power of attorney in Spain, we collaborate with notary offices in the United Kingdom, and other countries, which means that it can be executed in the country of origin. 5. We open bank accounts for our clients in Spain, and if they need finance, we provide advice on mortgages. Our clients have the advantage that financing is generally cheaper in Spain. 6. We prepare the documentation needed for the Public Deed, and on the day of signing we either accompany the client, or sign on their behalf with the power of attorney.
7. We advise our clients about taxes in Spain, and we also liquidate and pay the taxes on their behalf. We accompany foreign clients to the police station in the area where they are buying to apply for a Foreigner’s Identity Number (N.I.E), and arrange for the documentation to be collected and delivered to them or, if they prefer, they can appoint us to be their tax representatives in Spain. 8. While the Public Deed (First Copy) is being processed at the Land Registry, we withdraw copies of it on behalf of our clients and send it to their residence. 9. We register the Public Deed at the Land Registry. 10. Wills. We strongly recommend that all of our Spanish and International clients make a Spanish will, as this is essential if you wish to save your loved ones a long and tedious process when proving their inheritance rights to your assets in Spain. (This was explained in more detail in our previous article for May 2010).
Selling Although clients who want to sell a property have to comply with the same legal procedures as those that were described previously for purchasers, the tax implications are very different. For this reason, we provide our clients with presale advice in order to avoid problems, in particular with the capital gains tax that they may be liable for. All the documents are prepared by our firm, so that even if the client is not in Spain we can act of their behalf, complete the sale, and transfer their money to wherever they request us to do so.
As always, JLCA & As.-Lawyers are on hand to offer advice on buying and selling, making sure that your best interests are catered for at all times.
Avda. Escandinavia, 72, C.C. Altomar II, Local 8, Manzana E, 03130 GRAN ALACANT (Santa Pola) Telf: 966 698 796 · Fax: 966 699 570 Espana - Spain · info@jlcalawyers.com ELCHE: Avda. de Alicante, 24 7°03203 - Elche ·Espana - Spain Telf: 966 612 816 · Fax: 965 427 800 infonacional@jlcalawyers.com LONDON: 96-98 Baker Street W1 U6TJ London Tel. 0044(0)20072241095 e-mail. londonoffice@jlcalawyers.com
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TELE-BIRDING by Malcolm Palmer
We are nearing the anniversary of the sad death of the previous writer of this column, my dear friend Brian Conduit, and it is with his memory well to the fore that I write. An avid sports fan, he always delighted in watching the Tour de France on television. But he watched it with half an eye on the birds they inevitably focussed on as they recorded – or he simply spotted them in the background. He would ring me that night and say, ‘See the Griffon Vulture today?’ Or ‘What a pillock – the commentator said that Black Kite was an eagle.’ During the course of several tours, we logged, between us, some 40 species. Besides those I’ve mentioned, notable finds were Alpine Chough, Booted Eagle, Common Buzzard, Red Kite, Red-legged Partridge and once, even a Lammergeier, as the tour crept over a Pyrenean pass. I can’t, in fact, watch a film or series without seeing or hearing the background birds. Thus a play set in the twenties in Western Europe is rendered false by the persistent coo-ing of a Collared Dove – not to be found anywhere west of Asiatic Turkey at those dates. Similarly at odds are the night-time soundtracks of many series and films. It seems as if directors buy
‘stock footage’ of ‘atmospheric’ soundtracks, which often seem to feature Tengmalm’s Owl, a rare species which occurs only in mountains or the far north – it has a nice spooky ‘hoot’. More stock footage comes into play in French movies, which often seem to have a Nightingale or a Willow Warbler singing lustily, even when there isn’t a scrap of leaf on the trees, and even when there’s snow on the ground – and all those birds are sensibly trying to rid Africa of its insects. Still more stock-footage comes when American films include a soundtrack featuring wholly European Tawny Owl calls. Geography can be fun. The summer scenes in Doctor Zhivago have an Iberian Chiffchaff singing – way out of range on the Russian steppes, while the
spaghetti westerns, like ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’ feature Blackbirds, Thekla Lark and Sardinian Warbler – nothing of the sort is found in the Arizona desert. Films ‘made for television’ such as the often rather turgid ‘thrillers’ they show in the afternoons on Antenna 3 or Telecinco, may be made in the USA or, sometimes in Germany or Austria. If you can’t see a car or some other giveaway, almost all American films feature the ‘caw’ of an American Crow in the distance. News and current affairs programmes give you an occasional ‘armchair tick’ too – I only recently saw some very red-breasted Swallows flying under a bridge in Afghanistan – well, at least it’s better than the news item you’re supposed to be watching! But it won’t be long now before the Tour de France fills my sceen, and I shall not feel ashamed if a stray tear blurs the image, as I remember Brian – ‘Hey, Armstrong did it again, eh – but did you see that raptor as they crossed the Tourmalet – what do you reckon – Golden Eagle?’
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There’s so much to enjoy in Spain… without having to take your clothes off…
JD reporter Kevin Rendall has been sent out and about to find out exactly what’s on…and where.
Flaming June - Jungle Drums’ World Cup alternatives If you’ve been fast asleep for the past three months and are just about to wake up bleary eyed and grumpy, it’s gonna come as a bit of a shock to learn that all you’ll hear about on the news and in the papers for the foreseeable future is a not insignificant football tournament occurring way down south somewhere near Durban. Fear not, grab a fag, finish your cuppa and read on because a sedentary lifestyle featuring a football shirt just too small to cover the entire stomach, pizza, beer and the settee for the next five weeks most definitely aren’t all you’ve got to look forward to. Us jolly thoughtful Jungle Drums chaps now give you the lowdown on what else is occurring this month.
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LAS HOGUERAS DE SAN JUAN Right, now I’ve got your attention I’ll bash on and start in Alicante which hosts its annual fiestas from June 20th until the 24th. Everywhere else makes do with the Moros y Cristianos, but Alicante goes one better, and, as you’d expect from the nation that brought the world the San Fermin bull running in Pamplona and La Tomatina, it’s a bit dangerous. For the previous week or two, various residents committees in all four corners of the city will have been hard at work overseeing the construction of massive papier mache effigies, (hogueras), all of which, accompanied by mental firework displays, will be torched in the name of entertainment over the evening of June 23rd and the early hours of June the 24th. Possibly not the night then to be on shift with blue watch of the local bomberos!! Before Alicante collectively reaches for the Swan Vestas pop along, because, just like those ubiquitous sand sculptures, you’ll be blown away, there probably isn’t a more spectacular way to celebrate the Summer Solstice. Be warned though, car parking is next to impossible, with various important streets closed off, so get there early. http://www.hoguerasorg/web/index.php
AN EMOTIVE SUBJECT Next up, something quite a few Brits find somewhat distasteful - the bullfight, or, as the natives would say “La Corrida” The last couple of times I attended it was six nil, but in recent weeks the Spanish press has been full of stories about dear old Taurus the bull getting his own back. Perhaps surprisingly, public opinion in Spain is also divided with growing numbers opposed to the spectacle. If you fancy going, tickets can be obtained from any Carrefour branch and are priced not just according to your proximity to the claret but also whether you choose to sit in the sun, shade or a combination of both. In 2010, the Plaza de Toros in Alicante, a majestic edifice steeped in history, has eights days worth of an event which is a mix of pure theatre, ballet and the circus. Each of this years Corridas, from the 17th to the 27th, take place in the evening and start at seven pm. http://www.torosalicante.com/index.php
IT AIN’T HALF HOT MUM As the temperatures creep up and you start sweating like a dyslexic on Countdown, spare a thought for the players of Elche and Hercules
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football clubs. Their seasons started way back in August last year and aren’t due to be completed until the third week of this month. Both clubs are pushing hard for promotion to La Primera and the chance to host giants such as Barcelona and Real Madrid. Hercules take on Rayo Vallecano on June the 12th in their final home game of the season while Elche have two fixtures to complete en casa. First, an enticing local derby against Murcia on the 6th beckons and then they face the mighty Real Sociedad on the 20th in their last outing before the squad hits the beach, the golf course or the missus. Sorry for mentioning the ‘F’ word. http://www.elchecf.es/index.php http://www.herculescf.es/
A DANGEROUS COMBINATION Don’t be surprised to see various cars ands vans dropping off vast piles off wood on the regions beaches on the afternoon of June 23rd, they’re not fly tipping it’s all in preparation for the celebrations of San Juan, where, on the shortest night of the year a heady cocktail of barbecued grub, copious quantities of alcohol and a bit of skinny dripping come together as sinners everywhere get completely
mashed and jump over a bonfire three times to purify and cleanse themselves. Afterwards any badly burnt soles of feet are quenched in the adjacent Med’ and the glowing embers, if people remember, are buried forever under the sands. This is the one, just like November the 5th in the UK, which A&E departments around the Costa Blanca and beyond fear most.
ELSEWHERE ON OUR PATCH If you prefer your evenings out not to have such an element of risk, thirty of Elche’s best restaurants are collectively holding an event entitled “The Star Dish”, where, for € 3.00 you can sample some of the cities culinary specialities, many of which change daily. Look sharp though it finishes on Wednesday the 9th. Fancy a bevy or two? then get yourselves down to the Gran Alacant Centro Comercial, where, for one night only, popular bar Shamu celebrates it’s fifth birthday on Friday the 11th. The evening kicks off about nine-ish and continues, like the very best Spanish do’s, until the small hours with live music by acoustic rock band Steel Horse, you might even bump into one or two of those friendly Jungle Drums
types . I’m not sure what it is with Spain and pyromania; in the month Alicante goes to blazes, so to speak, Aspe and Guardamar get in on the act as well. The Night of St. John on the 23rd sees residents and visitors to Guardamar witness the magical “firedance” followed the next night by a ritual burning of all the witches and creations that took part. Inland, and at about the same time, Aspe folk go berserk with their cigarette lighters too in similar fashion before retiring to a local tavern for a well deserved ale or two. If none of these suggestions float your boat, there’s always the LGTBI fair in Elche during the last week of the month, it’s for Lesbian, Gay, Transsexual, Bisexual and the Intersexual. What the hell’s an Intersexual? Have fun!!
Next month Kevin checks out his stools (shouldn’t that be stalls?) as he roams the region finding the best markets for the JD readers.
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GROUP A
GROUP B
11/6 16.00
S.AFRICA - FRANCE
12/6 13.30
S.KOREA - GREECE
11/6 20.30
URUGUAY - FRANCE
12/6 16.00
ARGENTINA - NIGERIA
16/6 20.30
S.AFRICA - URUGUAY
17/6 13.30
ARGENTINA - S.KOREA
17/6 20.30
FRANCE - MEXICO
17/6 16.00
GREECE - NIGERIA
22/6 16.00
MEXICO - URUGUAY FRANCE - S.AFRICA
22/6 20.30
NIGERIA - S.KOREA GREECE - ARGENTINA
22/6 16.00
1
22/6 20.30
26/6 16.00 1st GROUP A v 2nd GROUP B v
2
26/6 20.30 1st GROUP C v 2nd GROUP D v
GROUP E
GROUP F
14/6 13.30
HOLLAND - DENMARK
14/6 20.30
ITALY - PARAGUAY
14/6 16.00
JAPAN - CAMEROON
15/6 13.30
N.ZEALAND - CZECH REPUB
19/6 13.30
HOLLAND - JAPAN
20/6 13.30
CZECH.REPUB - PARAGUAY
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CAMEROON - DENMARK
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ITALY - N.ZEALAND
24/6 20.30
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5
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B 1
28/6 20.30 1st GROUP G v 2nd GROUP H v 02/7 20.30 WINNER 1 v WINNER 2 v
6 JULY 20.30
A v B v
SEMI FINAL
11 JULY 20.30
FIN
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COME ON ENGLAND!
GROUP C
12/6 20.30 13/6 13.30 18/6 16.00 18/6 20.30 23/6 16.00 23/6 16.00
3
GROUP D
ENGLAND - USA
13/6 16.00
SERBIA - GHANA
ALGERIA - SLOVAKIA
13/6 20.30
GERMANY - AUSTRALIA
SLOVAKIA - USA
18/6 13.30
GERMANY - SERBIA
19/6 16.00
GHANA - AUSTRALIA
23/6 20.30
GHANA - GERMANY AUSTRALIA - SERBIA
ENGLAND- ALGERIA
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27/6 16.00 1st GROUP D v 2nd GROUP C v
23/6 20.30
4
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GROUP G
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IVORY C. - PORTUGAL
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BRAZIL - N.KOREA
16/6 16.00
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SEMI FINAL
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ITALY - PARAGUAY
14/6 16.00
JAPAN - CAMEROON
15/6 13.30
N.ZEALAND - CZECH REPUB
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HOLLAND - JAPAN
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ITALY - N.ZEALAND
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5
28/6 16.00 1st GROUP E v 2nd GROUP F v
6
A
02/7 16.00 WINNER 5 v WINNER 6 v
B 1
28/6 20.30 1st GROUP G v 2nd GROUP H v 02/7 20.30 WINNER 1 v WINNER 2 v
6 JULY 20.30
A v B v
SEMI FINAL
11 JULY 20.30
FINA
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12/6 20.30 13/6 13.30 18/6 16.00 18/6 20.30 23/6 16.00 23/6 16.00
3
GROUP D
ENGLAND - USA
13/6 16.00
SERBIA - GHANA
ALGERIA - SLOVAKIA
13/6 20.30
GERMANY - AUSTRALIA
SLOVAKIA - USA
18/6 13.30
GERMANY - SERBIA
19/6 16.00
GHANA - AUSTRALIA
23/6 20.30
GHANA - GERMANY AUSTRALIA - SERBIA
ENGLAND- ALGERIA
SLOVAKIA - ENGLAND USA - ALGERIA
23/6 20.30
27/6 16.00 1st GROUP D v 2nd GROUP C v
4
27/6 20.30 1st GROUP B v 2nd GROUP A v
GROUP G
GROUP H
15/6 16.00
IVORY C. - PORTUGAL
16/6 13.30
15/6 20.30
BRAZIL - N.KOREA
16/6 16.00
20/6 20.30
BRAZIL - IVORY C.
21/6 16.00
21/6 13.30
PORTUGAL - N.KOREA
25/6 16.00
PORTUGAL - BRAZIL N.KOREA - IVORY C.
21/6 20.30
25/6 16.00
25/6 20.30 25/6 20.30
7
29/6 16.00 1st GROUP F v 2nd GROUP E v
8
C
03/7 16.00 WINNER 3 v WINNER 4 v
D
2
7 JULY 20.30
C v D v
HONDURAS - CHILE
SPAIN - SWITZERLAND CHILE - SWITZERLAND
SPAIN
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HONDURAS
CHILE - SPAIN SWITZERLAND - HONDURAS
29/6 20.30 1st GROUP H v 2nd GROUP G v 03/7 20.30 WINNER 7 v WINNER 8 v
SEMI FINAL
AL ALL TIMES SHOWN ARE SPANISH
ase don’t let it go to penalties....