All Abroad Magazine June 2012

Page 1

EE

June 2012 issue number 11

FR

www.allabroad.es

!

SUMMER’S HERE! Feeling.. HOT! HOT! HOT!

YOUR FISCAL ONCE-OVER

- THE BRIEFS ARE BRIEF!

SPANISH AIRPORT FOOD...

Mr Grumpy ain’t happy Do resident’s pay capital gains...?

Andrea Burns explains

Now that’s what i call SPAIN ON THE ROCKS!

Covering the coast from Gran Alacant to La Zenia & inland from to San Miguel to Pinoso, Hondon and beyond!

+ What’s on?!

Where? When? & Who with..? find out inside



The euro is offering visitors to

way of looking at it, I guess.

Spain good value again, the weather has warmed up, and

Last week I also had one of those dreams where you wake

construction is at its busi-

up and you´re actually thump-

est since the crash and it´s going to be a great summer! However, you wouldn´t think that by reading some of the local papers would you? Why is it they seem to focus on the doom and gloom? Especially my old paper The Courier…but then I do hear *@&%$ the Grim Reaper works there nowadays. It´s far too easy to do bad news and it takes a lot more effort to produce good, fact based pieces. There are a few exceptions – you´ve only got to read them to see which ones I mean – and some good reporters out there trying not to shoot all us businesses on the Costas in the foot…unlike the ones who take the easy route? It´s been one of those months… After going A*** over T** again during the night I’ve come to the decision, I either need a new rug...or a different dog…however, dogs aside colour not) we’ve reached (or

ing the pillow (or something) imagining it´s Simon Cowell (or someone). I was snoozing on the terrace (in my dream I was smooching with Cameron Diaz and I was a perfect gent…), and I awoke thinking I was being kissed, passionately. There’s got to be better ways of waking up from a nice dream while sun bathing than being French-kissed by a Labrador, and it´s put me off Miss Diaz… almost. And anyway, you have to question evolution when any dog can stick her head between her legs (in front of everyone), and sound like they´re enjoying it so much... Back to the grind I guess. More research over the coming month to do. Who serves the best beer, wine and tonight (once again) I shall unselfishly dedicate the evening to helping the struggling Spanish economy...using the medium of Rioja... I have the wine, the finger food, the music and the sunset to enjoy, with two females. But I’ve still got to FrontLine them first...

that time of year in Spain when we all get religious and head for the beach, lay down a towel and worship our Sun God having blessed ourselves with Ambre Soler beforehand. The last Friday of May I spent (unselfishly) the whole day doing extensive research on behalf of all the expats out there and one day I’ll publicise my conclusions on who serves the best coffee in Alicante …I just All Abroad and Real Radio need to be sure first. On the way into the lovely city I got Have you heard? The Costa´s fastest growing radio station stuck in a traffic jam stuck Real Radio is quickly becoming a favourite behind a woman who amongst expats and All Abroad are proud insisted on continually to be sponsors of the Sheriff´s afternoon using the poorly-aimed show between 3-6pm. Tune in on 95.6fm screen wash jets on her or PERPETUO online at www.realll.webs.com or click Merc and I was on my mo- “EL SOCORRO” on the link on our website. torbike...refreshing was a positive WITH.

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QUALIFIED GESTORA

Est. 1991

CAPITAL GAINS TAX FOR RESIDENTS?

Fiscal help... Spanish probate / Inheritances Spanish Wills Conveyancing Notarial deeds

W

hy does it seem that

lowing the sale, whereas non-

the resident does

residents have a deadline of 4

not pay any Capital Gains Tax?

Fiscal representation Property taxes

Often I have come across a misunderstanding that I wish

Private sales contracts

talking about the rumour that

Planning permissions

And, of course, the major difference is that no percentage is taken from the sales price if the

Power of attorney Change-over of utility bills

months from the date of sale.

to clear in this article. I am residents do not

seller is resident. This is quite understandable. A resident foreigner is treated equally to a Spanish national regarding

pay any capital gains

tax

presentation

be-

they

is stopped from

the presentation

Both,

tax bracket is identical. Only recently the tax bracket was raised from 19 to 21% and is to be applied for the tax years 2012 and 2013.

pay

The due date for

This is not the

the capital gains tax and the

both

in Spain.

man.

non residents, are subject to

to

their income tax

to pay to the tax

and

are

subject

the sales price

residents

of

the taxes since

cause no money

case.

the

of residents’ annual tax declarations is the end of this month! Residents that have sold a property in 2011 will declare their capital gains in that very same declaration. Naturally, at the rate of 19% which was applicable for the year 2011.

The difference is the due date for the presentation of the declaration. Residents declare the said tax in their annual income

For further advise please contact me, details below.

tax declaration, in the year fol-

Avenida AmĂŠrica, 32, GRAN ALACANT 96 669 7824 OFFICE@ANDREABURNS.ES

Our own contributors - experienced for expat info

7


Hondon de Las Nieves

KEEPING IT YOUR FISCA Whether pay We all want anyou easy (ish)

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in the same sentence I system we have to work

usually need to sit down

with but with some expert

or have a drink, or both. help you can make sure

But when you´ve had a that you’re not one of the

chat with some experts

Large selection of dry & frozen Dutch products

ones rushing to the bank

who can put it into plain on the 20th of June to pay a

and simple language

Calle Nueva 7 Hondon de Las Nieves

tax bill at the last minute, or

(English, Spanish – your worse still a fine.

choice) it all starts to With the annual tax dec-

GRAN ALACANT COMMERCIAL CENTRE

make sense and, when

laration (Renta) deadline

you also discover that not

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The offices taxman (Alicante Region) cometh… CIUDAD QUESADA Avenida de las Naciones 36, L.6, Ciudad Quesada, DaveRojales Bull Tel. 965 480 737 – 606 056 282 Email: info@pellicerheredia.com discovers the ALICANTE Plaza Calvo Sotelo,1, 03001 Alieasy way to live cante Below British Consulate Tel. 965 480 737 – 606 056 282 a trouble-free (as Email: info@pellicerheredia.com HONDÓN DE LAS NIEVES far as the Plaza de la Vila, 30, 03688 Hondón de las Nieves (Alicante) Tel. 965 480 737 – 606 056 Tax man is282 Email: info@pellicerheredia.com concerned) life in PETRER Avda de Madrid, 60, 03610 Petrer (Alicante) Spain. Tel. 965 480 737 – 606 056 282 PELLICER & HEREDIA

Email: info@pellicerheredia.com

coming soon, on 30th June,

only will it cost very little anyone with an income

to get yourself legally and should be getting their

fiscally sorted in Spain declaration in order (if

– well, it´s a no-brainer you really want that ‘easy’

isn´t it?

life) so we asked Alicante lawyers, Ignacio and Pedro

For example one couple to once again step in and

who went to see them

explain just what the ‘Renta’

were paying tax on their is and who should be get-

income (that was paid

ting the pens out to fill in a

to them via the UK) in form or two.

Britain. But once the Who?

lawyers had taken a look Everyone who has an

at their financial affairs income while living here in they were pleased to find Spain needs to make a decthat they could register laration whether it is from in Spain and not have to a salary or from a pension pay any tax here at all. in another country. Now That meant the small fee before you start worrying, they paid for the service

ABOGADOS · BARRISTERS SOLICITORS · TAX ADVISORS We speak English

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408


+ NEW

SIMPLE IN SPAIN AL ONCE-OVER...

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New openings means new opportunities for in Spain) - even though you only have one pension, Quesada and beyond

was covered by their tax savings quickly…in not everyone and will have pay taxes on their decla-

because your pension comes from the UK and is

other words, it didn´t cost them anything for the ration and the odds are that if you’ve retired here in

over 11.200 euros (and it has not been tax-deducted

advice and they have saved money! Spain and are receiving your pension from abroad, Ignacio confirmed: “The Law states that all the you might not have to pay depending on certain residents in Spain should do their worldwide requirements. declaration in Spain. This means that if you pay If you have retired to Spain and stay in the country taxes at source (UK), you should register here

more than 183 days then you too must declare your

in Spain, inform England that you should be

income here and not in the UK. You will also benefit

NO TAX there (NT reference) and declare your

you must to declare your income in Spain. Compensation from a road accident is also By the time you read thistraffic Pellicer & Heredia´s exempt from in theAvda tax office but again(opposite – it’s worththe new offices de Naciones declaring it anyway. Spice Hut) will be open and buzzing to the sound Anyone receiving unemployment benefit (up to If of ringing phones and professional chatter.

from the special International Treaty between Spain

15,000€ -not who’s getting also free you´ve met themthat yet much..?!) just pop is along and

and the UK. There are still an awful lot of people liv-

from deductions. have a chat with the friendly staff and (thank

income in Spain. This formula will avoid double taxation. There are some pensions from which

ing in Spain but still declaring their incomes in the UK

How? you) accessible lawyers, Pedro and Ignacio,

which means that could be missing out on saving a

To makequite sure you don’thave needatono-obligation pay tax on your who´ll happily chat

lot of money just because

income, or indeedyou reduce about whatever like.your bill at the end of the fi-

they don’t realise that they can do their declaration

nancial year, it’s highly you speak We were there for therecommended opening daythat on 18th of

here and take advantage of the fiscal benefits such

to someone is experienced Spanish(and tax May when itwho seemed as if halfinofthe Quesada

as inheritance tax for residents, or just paying less

system – or you couldalong end up than you beyond) had come topaying meet more the guys!

taxes, for example.

neednot to! surprising seeing as they are two of It´s

the tax cannot be removed, especially those who worked for the Government, but you will still

need to do the income tax declaration in Spain if you are here more than 183 days and reach the income limits scale.

FISCAL Why? RESIDENT

The thing is that even if you do not reach the

Pedro told me that there are often an array among of options Alicante´s busiest lawyers – especially

Obviously the Spanish government needs taxes and,

for people to reduce their –tax billwith (or even nothing expats, their speciality and fourpay other

if you are receiving an income you need to be legal.

at all) if around their case is region looked at professionally and offices the the boys are certainly

Even if you know there will be nothing to pay – you’ll

with an experienced eye. For example, someone who kept busy looking after a lot of expats´ affairs.

get yourself in the system (which, trust me on this

has theirwhy parents living emerged in the same canlawyers have That´s they´ve ashouse the top

one, only make life easier) so when the day comes

certain funds deducted from end ofhaving year taxbuilt bill around for foreigners livingtheir in Spain

that someone (we’ll call him ‘Johnny Foreigner’)

as can anyone who has perhaps to adapt their up years of experience dealinghad with the intrica-

dies in Spain Johnny’s family will have a simple task

house for disabled access. cies involved in the infamous Spanish bureauc-

dealing with the fiscal (the Will etc.) matters than

As ever, with any tax office, things are a little more racy system.

someone who has never gone into the system.

complicated than we’d like but by dealing with

Exceptions

someone in the know it often works out far simpler

To keep it simple (remember it’s me writing this…)

(and less expensive) to have someone who knows

here are some exceptions to the rule of ‘Having to

what they are doing look after those (very) important

declare’ but remember also what I said earlier about

fiscal matters that can often become an expensive

there being no harm (only benefits) in getting into the

nightmare in the wrong hands – ours.

system.

From my own experience, the fee charged to make

If you earn less than 22,000€ annually (from one em-

my declaration was less than Pedro managed to

ployer and are already having tax deducted) or (if you

reduce my tax bill after showing me exactly what I

have incomes from several place) that none of those

could and couldn’t claim and therefore the cost of

exceed 1,500€ annually.

doing it properly has cost me nothing…in fact I’ve

If you have received profits from shares or dividends

made a little on the deal, now…do I declare that…?

of less than 1,600€ per year (this even applies if you

If you have any questions or queries about the

have, for example, sold a car for a profit privately).

upcoming ‘Renta’ and whether indeed you should be

Salaries or incomes below 11,200€ (usually pen-

declaring your income – call either Pedro or Ignacio

sioners) are exempt but remember also that if you

and they’ll put you straight. And the benefit for All

are employed your employer is obliged to deduct a

Abroad readers is that they’ll give you first consulta-

minimum of 15% from your wage packet to withhold

tion free – so what have you got to lose apart from a

for the taxman here in Spain. If that does not happen,

headache from those piles of paper!

limit of the scale (11200€ for those who receive pensions from abroad), we recommend you either lodge your tax declaration to confirm

you are a fiscal resident in Spain every year, or renew the fiscal certificate to prove you are fiscal resident in Spain. Proving fiscal residency will make you save money on inheritance tax than otherwise, as a non resident, will never apply the benefits. “

It´s not often we can think about going to see a lawyer and saving money is it? To be fair a lawyer’s lot is, more often than not, having to deal with all those difficult matters, which always

seems so expensive – mainly because we don´t understand the law – which is why we pay them in the first place.

FREE CONSULTATION

However, the guys and girls at Pellicer & Heredia will not only offer you a FREE first consultation

of you mention All Abroad magazine, but they´ll also, and more than likely, save you money.

Put those two together and the fact that you´ll have peace of mind knowing your fiscal affairs in Spain are in order.

About Pedro & Ignacio The two spent a year at Southampton Institute of international law so it’s no surprise that they speak English so well. Later, having studied law together at Alicante university, Pedro and Ignacio teamed up and formed the highly successful Pellicer & Heredia Solicitors (based in the same building as the British Consulate) and using their understanding of British people have built a firm of three offices (so far) with a fourth opening in Ciudad Quesada very soon –and all the staff speak English, very handy.

Their doors are always open – even if you´re not sure if you really need a lawyer – so pop along and see them in Avda de Naciones, Ciudad Quesada – or one of their other local offices.

965 480 737 / 606 056 282 info@pellicerheredia.com

ABOGADOS · BARRISTERS SOLICITORS · TAX ADVISORS Any legal problems?

Be Original - ALL ABROAD! -TEL. 606 540 408

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16

ALL ABROAD! - original ideas...


YOUR COMPUTER

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Questions & ANSWERS

with Steve Haynes of

SAVE YOUR PC’S LIFE! HOW TO SET POWER MANAGEMENT ON YOUR PC When you leave your PC running but are not using it, you can set the length of time your hard drive(s) and monitor run before they go to an ‘idle’ state. Slowing down the spin rate of a hard drive from a high to a low speed, reduces the wear on it bearings.

At the bottom of the window you can set the time to run before turning off your monitor and your hard drive(s). This time is measured from the last keystroke or mouse movement you make. To set your hard drive running time, select the time you want from the drop down menu next to ‘Turn off hard disks’. Select a time that you think you will not exceed in your typical routine. I set mine at 45 minutes, which means the drive will slow down 45 minutes after tha last time it was accessed. The hard drive(s) wake up when you access a file or when some other activity occurs that requires access to it.

Turning off the monitor when not in use saves a significant amount of power. It is by far consumes more power than any other component in your PC. To set these options, follow the instructions below:

Double-click the ‘Power Schemes’ tab. At the top of the window that opens you can select different modes to which you assign hard drive and monitor activity. There are usually three there with preassigned names: ‘Desktop/Home’, ‘Laptop’ and ‘Always on’. Select Desktop/Home and let’s set it up.

Computer Threats It is imperative that you keep your PC protected as best you can at all times! When the Internet first caught on with the general public in the mid 1990s it was a relatively safe place. Since then some dangerous places have sprung up within it. With worldwide reach and virtual anonymity it has attracted many destructive, dishonest people. Some of them create viruses, worms, spyware, adware, keyloggers and the other forms of virulent, invasive code known as malware that cause computer problems. Some of them use this code and various techniques to secretly steal your identity by gaining access to your personal information! Annoying pop-ups, machine slowdowns and PC crashes are often a result of malware. Hackers monitor Internet traffic and look for unprotected PCs that they can infect.

On your PC click ‘Start’, then ‘Settings’ and then ‘Control Panel’, Double click the Power Options icon in the control panel and a window appears with a number of tabs across the top labeled: Power Schemes, Alarms, Power Meter, Advanced and Hibernate. There may be variances in these options depending on which Windows operating system you have.

To use another mode, select it in step 4 click ‘OK’ and your PC will run with it, until you change it.

The monitor running time is set similarly with the ‘Turn off Monitor’ drop down box. I set this at 20 minutes. So if you don’t press a key or move your mouse, the screen goes dark in 20 minutes. It wakes up again when you move your mouse or press any key on your keyboard. Click ‘OK’ or ‘Apply’ to save the settings. To setup another mode, go back to step 4, select it and repeat steps 5-7.

Even worse if your PC is compromised it can without your knowledge become a slave machine that further spreads these malware programs to other unprotected PCs! What can you do? .... A number of things! Never send Personal Information in Emails Install an Antivirus Program Block Spyware and Adware Remove Spyway and Adware Windows users - keep your Critical Updates current Install a Firewall Use a browser other than Internet Explorer Use care when downloading ‘free’ software

For more help and advice call in and see us or contact us using the details below: contact Steve direct on info@iber-tech.com or 96 671 8705 17


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         

                                

               

            

ALL ABROAD! - all our own ideas.

TEL. 606 540 408


3 GREAT Shops in 1 Call now on: 966 183 002 - suziescrews@hotmail.co.uk

Avenida Escandinavia Gran Alacant

(Suzie Screws - we are moving 2 doors up!)

Quality

Second-hand Furniture WANTED & for sale

COMING! Saturday 23rd June

TABLE-TOP SALE Sell anything that fits on the table! (Tables 7.50â‚Ź each)

10-2pm

a TREASURE CHEST...

Ask in store for details & to reserve your table!

of gifts, cards & much much more!

Book Club

FERRETERIA

everything for DIY & trade

Plus Key-cutting, cycle & mobility scooter hire

... and those that copy...TEL. 606 540 408

19


A H C A E R A S E M I ‘THE T

Plaza Mayor in Gran Ala

Times are tough. And even more so when you discover that the fees you´ve been paying for the upkeep of your business´s location are not in fact being used for that purpose at all. But that´s exactly what happened to several businesses in Plaza Mayor in Gran Alacant who were left without lighting in the square and broken, and arguably dangerous, entrance steps that have gone unrepaired for a number of years. However, far from moaning about their lot (nothing seems to be happening with the administration of the place) most of the businesses in Plaza Mayor have teamed up to make the place what it should be – a great place for all the family to go to…even the dog. Rather than battle with each other, the businesses have sat down and agreed that this fabulous square is a great place for families, or those on their own perhaps, to rest up, take some refreshment and meet some friendly people. All it needs is a little TLC (ok, some bricks too) which the businesses have already in motion and the Plaza Mayor will be, once again, an enjoyable place to go to.

E S QUAtaR S E ra M u I T Irish Pub & Res nt

Plaz Ma

We´re not just talking about drinking here either (although that obviously is enjoyable), for example how about the best curry in the area from Gran Alacant´s original Indian restaurant, Saffron or traditional (and tasty) fish and chips from the friendly Maureen and John at Darby´s Fish and Chips. If alcohol is on your mind (although both of those places serve it too) then just opposite you have the choice of two typically comfy English Bars, Rumours and The Hole in the Wall, while next door is a traditional Irish Bar

20

If you’d like to feature your business or businesses in a sp


ANGING’

at (MASA Square)

GRAN ALACANT

acant - looking good for Summer! 9th June!

the pudding is in the eating (I hear Gavin at Times Square does

za ayor

a mean apple pie…) so you really should get down there and try things for yourself and meet a great bunch of people working very hard to give us a nice place to go and

OPEN DAY RE-LAUNCH

An evening of FUN FOR ALL including: 7.30pm the

FABULOUS Tony Hall Disco

GAMES! band

do things…like drink, bless them I say! Seriously try and give the businesses in Plaza Mayor your support as they

& INTERNET CAFÉ

go through the

Daily Specia

or s, cod chip all & Sm dock s or a had y pe ns, sh a mu d be ad & re bake of b kled e slic er, pic butt n onio

5

ls

process of fixing up what is one

of the best places to

Larg

had e co d fru dock or it cre sala & chip d wit am, se & ic s, h bee a sm rved e win r, gla all ss e dri or c of nk an of

10

FREE DELIVERY ON ORDERS OF 10euros OR MORE

Opening times Monday - Thur sday Friday & Saturday 4pm - 11pm 1.30pm - 11pm Sunday 4pm 10.30pm Eat inside, outs ide or Take awa y Tel. 96 669 707 0

Coming soon: Xmas stock. Place your orders for all your Xmas goodies, i.e. Turky, Hams Gammons, Cakes, Sweets, Crackers etc

where tasty grub is also on the

9pm a five piece

at

will carry on the

fun

+

MIDNIGHT the partying continues with

Tony Hall

8 Ball Pool

once more getting the dancers bopping away!

RIDES!

visit in Gran Alacant.

going by the name of Times Square

+

Come and find us! GRAN ALACANT

menu. You´ll notice too Gran Alacant’s busiest vets are here too – what better place to get Rex shave d for summer while you wait outside, in the shade, with a glass of crushed grapes? Talking of busy, I

Plaza Mayor

know Silvia and Isabel at FAB, no, it´s not anything to do with Thunderbirds (Foreigners Advisory Bureau) who are always running around looking after the fiscal side of things for expats.That´s it really, as with most things – the proof of

pread like this - just give as a call on 606 540 408 or 96 669 5160

21


MAYOBUILD

EST. 7 YEARS

GENERAL BUILDERS design & build

RENEW YOUR BATHROOM Freshen up with an economic makeover

ARISTON PRO ECO BOILER (Fitted) 50L 250€ 80L 280€ 100L 320€

email: MAYOBUILD@hotmail.com

Tel. 665 063 228

ALTOMAR FINE FINISHING

PROPERTY MAINTENANCE & IMPROVEMENTS

POSTAL & COURIER SERVICE

e

TEL: 963 865 144 663 049 258 - MOBILE: 648 786 708 22

NOW AVAILABLE AT

50cm

Phone Eddie

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LIVE MUSIC- GREAT FOOD

Cocktail Terrace

What’s on at this month

Fri 5th CHESS 9.30pm Sat 6th CHESS 9.30pm Fri 5th CHESS 9.30pm Sat 6th CHESS 9.30pm Fri 5th CHESS 9.30pm Sat 6th CHESS 9.30pm

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24

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GIG GUIDE

Welcome to our all new Entertainment Guide. Let me start off by introducing myself my name is Mandy O’Hagan and I own a very professional entertainment agency here on the Costa Blanca called Stars in Bars.

All Abroad and myself realised that what’s missing out here is a great entertainment guide with news of what’s going to be happening and future events to look out for with an easy to follow gig guide so you guys know what’s happening and more importantly..Where and when, so by bringing you this great guide every month and letting you all know about the fantastic events coming up this summer hopefully you won’t miss a thing!!

SOLAR RINGS

Well this month we have street parties a plenty happening everywhere for the Queens Diamond Jubilee, on Tuesday 5th Entre Naranjas are holding a great days entertainment with music supplied by Emily Hullmann and an olden day music quiz finishing off with the very talented Matt Christian, also on Sunday 3rd Torrevieja town hall are having a huge party in the Park of Nations

people are invited to bring their own picnic, there will be an array of bars there serving all types of cold drinks and the profit from the bars is going to the local Alzheimer’s Association AFA, from 6pm there will be a number of local artists and groups performing all free of charge including dance shows, Morris Dancers, The Phoenix Concert Band, Nick Gold, Maria O’Hara, Keely C and many more, so if your going to one of the many big organised parties or you are just holding your own street party where you live then have a great time guys and raise a glass or two for sixty years reign of Queen Elizabeth II. Well that’s me finished for this month so if you’re a bar or an entertainer and want to appear in the gig guide or you have any events coming up that you would like me to tell everyone about then please contact me by email on mandy@starsinbars.org or call me on 685302529 or just visit my website www.starsinbars.org

Mandy x

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1.Even though this is a group of super heroes, which one does not belong? Spiderman The Hulk Batman Thor Iron Man Captain America Nightcrawler

Across

1. Span’s partner 5. Prefix with body or freeze 9. Pearl or peridot 14. Broke 15. What a litigant does 16. Spanish birthplace of St. Theresa 17. Choir section 18. Con’s game 19. Flax fabric 20. Like a stunned beachcomber? 23. ___ loser 24. Choose 25. Mar’s follower 28. Part of SUV 31. Flavor enhancer 34. Fleece 36. It could be white 37. Salmon type 38. Anxious cigarette consumer? 42. Go ___ (nag) 43. Use 52 Down 44. Speeds 45. ___-Mex 46. Black and white 49. ___ for the money 50. See 51 Across 51. Uses 50 Across 53. Soviet actors take a bow? 61. Nasty necktie? 62. Seed coat 63. Popular cookie 64. Market opener 65. Takeout place? 66. Await judgement 67. Acid and litmus 68. Put up 69. Lessen

Down

1. Ems et al 2. Vault necessity 3. Tiny Greek letter 4. Ticked off 5. State categorically 6. Cell centers 7. Colorful duck 8. Doctrines 9. Hillbilly’s car 10. Turn out 11. ‘Just kidding’ signal 12. Robert ___ 13. Bring down 21. Mythical Muslim maiden 22. Roomy place? 25. Cravat 26. Booth item 27. Send a document again 29. ‘Camel’ of the Andes 30. Davis Love letters? 31. Slogan 32. Martin in “Apocalypse Now” 33. Furze 35. Buccaneer’s back 37. KGB adversary 39. S. Pacific island with important phosphate deposits 40. Goose egg 41. Providence, R.I. university 46. Riot cops at times 47. Schools 48. Daily preparation 50. Early stage 52. It magnifies the game 53. MIT, for example (abbrev.) 54. Libertine 55. Trip taker’s exclamation 56. Parking garage feature 57. 30 Down, for example 58. W x H 59. Part of SLR 60. It makes a prospector prosperous

2. A man decides to quit his job, so he turns off the lights, and walks out of the room, and 200 people die. Why do 200 people die 3. A horse is tied to a 15 ft. rope and there is a bail of hay 25 ft. away from him. Yet the horse is able to eat from the bail of hay. How is this possible 4. A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and points it at him. The man says, thank you and leaves. Why 5. A man is lying dead with a backpack on, face down in the desert. What happened Answers below

It’s more powerful than God. It’s more evil than the devil. The poor have it. The rich need it. If you eat it, you’ll die. What am I?

the solution The answer is nothing.

Down

1. Stir up 2. Europe’s tallest volcano 5. Tie 3. Brad 9. Indian tea state 4. Plans secretly 14. Relating to the ear 5. Faint 15. Scintilla 6. Perch 16. Bessie’s favorite wild 7. Not beneath ruminant? 8. Arab equivalent of an 17. Bessie’s favorite tune? arroyo 19. Peels 9. Surroundings 10. Euphemism for a 20. Glove material scum bag 21. Food critic’s concern 11. Tender 23. Appropriate 12. Quizzes 25. Possessed 13. Eyesore 26. Most retiring 18. Maiden name users, 29. She can’t be married often 34. Russian news agency 22. Tai’s follower 35. Word with phone or 24. Score block 26. Bee bee? 27. Saigon’s adversary, 37. Raccoon relative once 38. ___ roll 39. What Bessie will do at 28. Stern 29. US painter, John F. a bovine bash? ___ 41. Stanley Cup org. 30. Trudge 42. House bug 31. Argentine dance 32. 44. Put together Lucy’s landlady 45. Pulitzer Prize novelist, 33. Irked James ___ 36. “Kate and Allie” role 39. Building material 46. Lake state 40. Goose egg 48. Fix origami, maybe 43. Third world menace 50. Que.’s neighbor 45. Cottage styles 51. Sow mate 47. Corp. swallowed by 52. Absence of pain Verizon 57. Hitachi rival 49. Assuage 61. Flat 51. Cleanse 62. Where Bessie finds 52. ___ mater bliss? 53. Light gas? 64. Bessie’s favorite Bond? 54. Bard’s river 55. ___ dish 65. Long 56. Move slowly 66. Advantage 58. Connecting point 67. Kournikova and Freud 59. Hindu philosophy 68. Survivor’s first word? 60. Washington bills 69. Red and Black 63. Get timber 1. Dems opposite

SOLUTIONS:

D? all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all BORED?

Riddles - Answers below

1. Answer This is a list of “Marvel” comic super heroes. Batman does not belong. Batman made his first appearance as a comic book superhero in DC Comics “Detective Comics No. 27, May 1939”. Bob Kane has been credited with the original creation of Batman. 2. The man worked at either a lighthouse or an air control center, and when he turned off the lights, the captain couldn’t see and crashed. 3. The rope isn’t tied to anything, so the horse can go freely to anywhere it pleases. 4. The man had the hiccups and the water helped him stop it, and the gun scared him which also help stop his hiccups as well. 5. The man jumped out of a plane over a desert, but his parachute failed to open

Across

Word riddle

RED? all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all

all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all BO

BORED? all BOR.ED? all BORED? all BOR Easy...ish

It's a toughy!

Word: anorexics

27


PROPER TY OF T HE MON TH

SUMMER OFFERS

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LA MARIN A URB WHAT A R B W.C. AND ARGAIN !!! 2 BE ef 616 D, 2 BATH HAND BA COND TH ,( S ROUGHO IN ONLY) QUAD. 1 IS GREAT UT, FURN UM, SEP IS H E D, SOLAR KITCHE IAND ONL N, COM POOL Y 75,000 €

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t to contract

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Spacious 4 Bed, 2 Bath det villa, furnished, terrace, storage, under build backs onto verde, viewing recommended.

Avda. Londres 1-A, Local 8, Urb. La Marina San Fulgencio Office: 96 679 5233 email:info@ipgspain.com Visit our website to view our extensive range of properties:www.ipgspain.com 28

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3 Bed. 1 Bath, semi Det Villa, Exceptionally large plot, off road parking, 2 com pools, air con, views, Ex cond, Viewing recommended


BARGAIN BASEMENT!? and now the GOOD NEWS!

Looking for a property in Spain? – why not bag yourself a bargain in La Marina?

Dave Bull talks to La Marina estate agents IPG and discovers some great properties at even greater prices on the Urb’.

Another of similar price and condition (RF 601) is a three bedroom, two

The newspapers may well be full of doom and gloom but here on the Costa

bathroom Isabella style property

Blanca there is always some good news for expats to make the most of. For

fur which is on two floors and comes fur-

example in La Marina, which – by the way – have some of the most beautiful beaches on the coast, there are bargains to be had!

gar-

t to contract

SOLD - subjec

nished and with an easy to maintain den for 117,500€.

Property prices have steadied but some people still want to sell up and move on, and quickly, and that means that there are some great properties If those are little more than you’d

to be had – at very reasonable prices.

consider then how about a three I’ve spoken to local experts IPG who have

bedroom, 0ne bathroom quad style

been trading in the area for almost ten years

home in a quiet location? (REF

now and they showed me just some of the

568). Fully furnished with off road

great offers they have at the moment. For

parking, a communal pool and a

example on La Marina Urb (REF 548) there

lovely garden this place will cost a

is a beautiful (detached) three bedroom, two

lucky buyer just 89,000€ - now that

bathroom house tucked away in a nice quiet

is a bargain!

location. This used to be a show house with a wonderful landscaped mature garden in a 500m2 plot. It has master bedroom with en suite, a very nice kitchen and separate utility area and upstairs a sun-catching solarium. This place comes fully furnished and you could get all this for just 199,000€, not bad eh? Another place Anne McGregor showed me

STOP PRESS!! th, det 1. Dolores, 3 bed, 2 Ba 2 large villa on a 3,000 m2 plot e, bathcovered terraces, garag droom, be r ste room en suite to ma ious ac fireplace in lounge, sp property.

on the Urb’ was a little smaller but the price must be attractive to anyone looking! Just 64,950€ (REF 457) could net a buyer a two bedroom, two bathroom home in the sun with a solarium, terrace, dining room and air con already installed!

And ONLY 99,000€!!!!!

Other homes have been improved since first built and a tasteful three bedroom, two bath bath-

Bed, 2. La Marina Urb, 3 nge lou d 1 Bath Det villa, extende rear terdiner, new kitchen, large off road race overlooking verde, install to parking for 2 cars, room hed. a small pool. Fully furnis

room quad style home that I looked around certainly fell into that category. With a decent sized solarium and an en suite in the master bedroom this part-furnished property is only a very short walk from the communal pool too. Up for sale for only 104,995€ (REF 545) I’d suggest anyone looking should take a look at this one as my words wont do it the justice it deserves.

Ref. 619

1 Ex cond 105,000€ Ref. 62

In, or around, the same sort of price range

That’s all folks… Anne and Alan at IPG tell me they have many more like

Anne showed me a few more that could easeas

these too – so make the most of Spain and snap up a bargain before the

ily be someone’s bargain home in the sun!

prices rise inevitably again!

(REF 602) is similar in description to the one above this place was absolutely immaculate with storage room also and again is well worth a look – especially for the asking price of 119,500€.

Contact Anne or Alan on 96 679 5233 for any of these properties of if you are looking for something that you haven’t seen here.

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

29


€175


31


r ying thought fo A worr 2012 ! ob Hope 10 years ago B died ago Johnny 5 years d ie d sh a C of modnths ago A coupJle Steve obs die ks ago Jimmy A few ewdee Savill ied no Hope, Now we have

32


‘aving a laugh...

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATHS Have a pencil & paper, or a calculator first. OOL.

VING SCH SEEN EACH OTHER SINCE LEA JAN, SUE, AND MARY HAVEN’T They rediscover each other via

Friends Reunited, and arrange

to meet for lunch.

e Versace dress. Jan arrives first, wearing a beig io. Grig t Pino of e bottl a rs orde She ring a grey Chanel number. Sue arrives shortly afterward, wea joins Jan in a glass of wine. she es kiss and After the initial hugs

It takes less than a minute . Work this out as you read . Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun.

s and boots.

faded old tee-shirt, blue jean Then Mary walks in, wearing a She too shares the wine.

1. First of all, pick the mar number of and met she y, ersit ol and attending Oxford Univ times a week Jan explains that after leaving scho hter. a beautiful daug that you would like to have chocolate (more ried Timothy, with whom she has on’s leading law firms. than once but less than 10) Timothy is a partner in one of Lond hter, attends daug the , anna Sus re whe , t on Park Lane 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) They live in a 4000 sq ft apartmen nd home in Portugal. 3. Add 5 drama school. They have a seco or 4. Multiply it by 50 -- I’ll wait while you get the doct a me beco to ied from Cambridge University, stud calculator Sue relates that she graduated banker in nt stme inve cial finan ing lead a and, Clive, is 5. If you have already had your birthday this . and became a surgeon. Her husb Italy in e hom nd stockbroker belt and have a seco year add 1762 .. the City. They live in the Surrey k. If you haven’t, add 1761.. Mar , riend boyf her left school at 17, she ran off with 6... Now subtract the four digit year that you Mary explains that she after she k can stand Mar s. table vege own their Essex and grow were born. They run a tropical bird park in erect penis. You should have a three digit number five parrots, side by side, on his The first digit of this was your original number her that out s blurt Jan wine and several hours later, (I.e., how many times Halfway down the third bottle of ley and Brom in t tmen apar ll sma a in o’s. They live you want to have husband is really a cashier at Tesc t drive. chocolate each week). have a caravan parked on the fron Clive The next two numbers and she that ains by her old friend’s honesty, expl are Sue, chastened and encouraged kham and Pec in live y The e. hom le’s in an old peop YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it are both nursing care assistants is!!!!!) take camping holidays in Kent. THIS IS THE ONLY has to stand on one leg. YEAR (2012) IT WILL Mary admits that the fifth parrot EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

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35


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Legal and Registered - Over 30 years experience

DMF

WE COLLECT!

Benidorm to Almeria + 45km radius inland

We are having a Spring Dance at Encebras village hall on Saturday 19th May 2012 starting at 7.30pm tickets 3 euros. Bring a plate of food for the buffet table and your own drink. Tony M will be providing the music. Come along and have some fun. Thanks to all who attended our Auction on 30th March. We raised 458 euros. We have lots of puppies at the moment all looking for their own secure loving homes. Can you help?

Interested in any of these adorable pups, phone 659274573 or Email: barneys.hope@gmail.com Web :www.petsinspain.info 38

Member

Benidorm to Almeria + 45km radius inland

eltatts@hotmail.co.uk

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Tel. 965 071 220 - 666 907 456

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Classifieds

Place your FREE classified ads (up to 25 words) @

ask@allabroad.es

Please place adverts by 16th of each month - sorry no businesses

Earn some extra CASH with a clear out & raise some cash with All Abroad Free Ads! also at www.allabroad.es Generator 2.6 Kva Briggs & GENERAL OFFICE FURNITURE - DESK/ Stratton Brand New Cost £800. FILING CABINETS/CHAIRS - Oo Accept €350.00 €200 -FORTUNA-650 788851 Tel. 676 079996

Bmw 323 Ti Compact Evo M 2001,Itv 2013,Manual,170Hp,Full Bmw Evo M Pack,Blistein Pss9 Coilover Suspension, Jbl And HP SCANNER €15 - FORTU- ,Custom Colour Coded Head Lining,17 Inch M6 Rims,Twin Mobility Scooter Shop Rider in NA - 650 788851 Stainless Exhaust,In Extremely Excellent working condition Good Condition 5750€ Tel. New batteries 600 Euros loca- COMPLETE EXCERCISE GYM - €200 - FORTUNA - 650 603142786 tion Fortuna Town >. Mobile 788851 633193156. Harley Davidson. 2003 AnMETAL STAIRCASE FOR niversary Road King. 24,000 FREE STANDING GAS OUTSIDE, STRONG METAL, Klms, One Owner. F.S.H Over OVEN, €120 - FORTUNA, 650 STRAIGHT RUN,€60 2000 Pounds Of Extras.Tel. 966 788851 FORTUNA - 650 788851 699 465 11,995 Euros Ono 42Inch Tv With Wall Mounting One 1.4 mtr Portugese prime Mazda Mx5 2.0 Litre. 6 Speed. Bracket 200€ satellite dish. In very good order 2005, One Owner. 26,000 Klms Tel. 622 870 799 and complete with LNB and Only. Metalic Red. Spanish Plates. Lhd.As New 12,995 Teenagers Mountain Bike 30€ fixing bracket. Reason for sale is the need to provide two Euros Ono Tel. 622 870 799 take offs. Price 100 euros Tel. 639 545 694 GAS FRIDGE,1.5H, ICE BOX, 966716400. Peugeot 1.9 €495 - FORTUNA - 650 788851 Diesel Airport For Sale.Someone’s Bright Idea To Expand A Little Glass Top Computer Table 40€ 1997, Right Hand While Ago Means We Have Drive on Spanish Tel. 622 870 799 plates, - fully Hundreds Of Square Metres imported and legal Spare. Ideal Storage For Wife’s 2 X CARD RACKS, €20 with all paperwork. Shoes Or The Odd Boeing Or 1 Years ITV, brand new tyres, brand new FORTUNA - 650 788851 Two... front & rear brakes, regularly serviced. 4 Newell Posts For Stair1650 euro ono case Cost €108 For €20 Tel. 966699511 SPORT 693525799 or leechappell@live.co.uk Picton 4.5 Sportboat With Breville Slow Cooker 3Ltr New Trailer, Needs Fairing And Yamaha 1600 V Twin Wildstar Engine. €20 Tel. 693525799 650E O.N.O. La Marina Tel: Only Done 8,000M As New €5,000 Tel. 693525799 666029666 OAK VENEER WRITING BUREAU 1930’S - €20 - 650 Piaggo Nrg, 50Cc, Water *Fibre Glass Dinghy 3 Man 788851 Fits Ib Riif Racj 4Hp Engine Or Cooled Special Scooter, 1,400Kms From New, Black/ Oars €380 Tel. 693525799 27’ Tv-Built In Dvd €40 Tel. White, Itv 2 Years, Tax Paid, 693525799 Excellent Condition €695.00 Set 12 Wood Carving Chisels Tel. 650 788851 €15 Tel. 693525799 Sky Boxes From €30.00 Tel. 650 788851 Suzuki Intruder 125 V-Twin Golf Clubs 12 In Bag Dunlop 900Kms, 2005, Mint Condition, €35 Tel. 693525799 COMPUTER DESKS Metalic Blue, Extras €1795.00 LARGE €50 - SMALL - €25 Tel. 650 788851 FORTUNA, 650 788851 HP PRINTER + 4 COLOUR INK, 3 BLACK INK - €45 FORTUNA - 650 788851

VEHICLES

2X Clio 5 Door A/C.. 2002.. Exc Condition.. Great Car.. Ring For Details. 619 726 480

Piaggo 50Cc Scooter 1985, First Twist & Go Electric Start, Re-Vamped-Resray, New Tyres, Yellow, Excellent Condition €350.00

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