F0R THE LOCALS BY THE L0CALS
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This month The story behind the most important fishing port in the Med’ – Santa Pola Introduced by the Mayor of Santa Pola, MIGUEL ZARAGOZA
MARCH no 69
plus loads of valuable information & advice…
the ESSENTIAL read for expats CHEAPEST in spain ! & most EFFECTIVE Still probably the
advertising rates on the Costa !
g Incorporatin aes…. the INLAND p , fun Full of jokes es in the s s e in s u b d an
! o p m ca
COVERING.... Gran Alacant, Santa Pola, La Marina, Guardamar, Rojales, Catral, Albatera, Hondons, La Romana & Pinoso.
COVER SHOT AT THE END OF THE DAY A Santa Pola fisherman hands over the fruit of a very hard day’s labour. Photo: Mark Welton www.foto23.info
this month 4/5
SANTA FISHING... a look at the industry
‘You’ve got it good’, there you go - someone
was headstrong – all throttle and no slowing down – when he started, but he showed
9
ANDREA BURNS inheritance tax
else said that to me (again) the other day. Good? I’ve got a teenage son, and a dog
potential. The next time out he took me by
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ASK THE LAWYER... reposessions
that’s a managed to build up, in a very
surprise a couple of times and I had to work
short space of time, a reputation as a bit of
hard, (really hard) to keep in front. Our last
16/17 GRAN ALACANT...
a slapper.
outing resulted in a triumph of experience
Bloody hell…he’s 18 this month (my son,
over enthusiasm as Dad stayed on the track
21
Mitch –not the dog). The 6 to be exact,
while the young pretender ate dirt…literally.
and here I was planning on writing about
A combination of racing everything in sight,
spring and fluffy bunnies, but eighteen…
cold tyres, and a heavy throttle led to a
bloody hell!
crash at around 60mph and a broken bike,
It goes so quick, doesn’t it? What I have
ruined leathers and, oh yeah…he broke his
noticed is that, like rings on a tree, you
wrist. Now, as bad as this may sound…I’m
can tell how old they are by how often the
glad he broke his wrist that day, and for
fridge opens. But blimey, 18! Forgive me,
good reason. Because if he’d stayed on
but where did it go? Is it like that for all
for the next lap – when I came onto the
parents when their kids come of age? As
track on my bike– he would have beat me.
always, being a parent, you learn as you go
Despite the fact that I had a much more
NATURE... name that bird
– or ‘winging it’, which seems apt, but this
powerful bike, he still would have beaten
seems to have come along all of a sudden.
me. And I couldn’t have that could I?
MOTORING... the right way of doing it
It seems like only yesterday that I was
Now I look at him at 18 years old and he’s
clearing up behind him…oh, turns out it was
teaching people to Scuba Dive and showing
COMPUTERS... are you lost...?
yesterday.
more responsibility than I had at that age
But it wasn’t that long ago, I’m sure, that
(ok…and now) and I realise why I didn’t
NIGEL JARDINE... getting your head around
he was the perfect height to head-butt
want him to beat me that day. He didn’t
me in the ‘nuggets’, which was the polite
need to really, apart from the bragging
name in the house at the time, and when
rights which I flimsily hold on to, he and I
he started playing rugby, and very well too,
both know that he’s overtaken me in some
(aged 5). Golf too (at the same age) and
things and oh, boy, does it make me proud.
yeah, he was good at that too – winning his
And for all the cock ups his mum and I
first tournament aged six.
made, we got one thing absolutely spot
Then came motorbikes….my passion. It was
on...and he’s in the bloody fridge again!
santa pola & ga
PUZZLES... grey matter workout
23
LA MARINA... all the Urb news
25
LETTERS... oh do you...?
26/7
MAP OF LA MARINA... guide to the urb
28-36
INLAND pages fun & business
37 41 43 47 49 .
52/3 55
HOROSCOPES... the only real ones ever SMALL ADS... local businesses BUSINESS DIRECTORY... all the businesses
and much
much
more!
ADIOS
th
inevitable, I guess, that he’d want to ‘have a go’ after helping in the pits when me and
He’s gonna kill me when he sees this…
my fellow racer (JD photographer, Mark Welton) raced a few years ago. However, he
SO SAD
By the time you read this you will have noticed something missing in your life here in Spain. It is with a heavy heart that I write to you this month, with the sad news that Campo will no longer light up your life every month. I have had to make the heart breaking decision not to continue. During the last few weeks while breaking the news to our clients, readers and distributors, many of whom have become friends to the team of Campo over the years from the very beginning of the creation of Campo by Peter until the last copy came off the press, last month. I saw sadness in each and everyone.
You will still see me around as I help to introduce our friend Dave from the Jungle Drums who will provide you with all your advertising needs and a few laughs along the way. He better or he will have me to answer too. (Scary thought). I just wanted to take this opportunity to say Adios to you all, thanks for the laughs and who knows like Arnie says “HASTA LUEGO BABY” Regards
Maureen
Santa Pola
Fishing as a way of life.
Santa Pola is a synonym for sea, fishing, salt, nature, beach‌This quite village of Alicante surrounded by the Mediterranean has a deep connection with fishing from the beginning of the days. We spoke to its mayor, Miguel Zaragoza, about the past, present and future of the town.
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A History Linked To The Sea
T
he first settlers in Santa Pola lived, during the Neolithic Period, in “La Cueva de las Arañas”, a cave in the Carabassi area. From time immemorial different cultures have left their archaeological
remains in Santa Pola. The Iberians: a walled settlement from the 4th century BC called La Picola, where they traded with the Greeks. The Romans: a port which was the key to maritime trade: the “Portus Illicitanus”. Miguel Zaragoza tells us that “during the 16th century the Fortress-Castle and the watch towers were built to protect the population from the pirates –the Berbers– who had settled in the island of Tabarca. The fortification and later expulsion of the pirates from the island, in the 18th century, helped the permanent establishment of a centre of popula-
tion around the Castle, named Santa Pola, whose main economic activity consisted of fishing. It became an independent town in 1812”.
The Quality Trade Mark “Peix De Santa Pola”
“The current port has a location different from the historical one, due to the establishment of the Royal Customs in Santa Pola in 1844,
Miguel Zaragoza Fernández is the mayor of Santa Pola from 2003. Al-
which helped the construction of the present quay. The years between
though he is a nurse, he started his career on a fishing boat, like many
1950 and 1973 were its real splendour period, when it became the first
other youngters of Santa Pola, and he could know personally the hard
fishing port of the Spanish Mediterranean, taking the number of boats and
work in the middle of the sea: “the world of the fishing is so deep-rooted
the unloading of fresh fish in consideration. Its fleet was distributed be-
in our town that it is inseparable of any other activity. Everything here has
tween the Atlantic and Mediterranean fishing grounds, in total 130 boats,
a link to the sea. All the families still have, directly or indirectly, a member
with 90% trawling and the rest devoted to lesser arts. There were good
who depends on the fishing industry”.
days for the fishing in Santa Pola”, admits the mayor.
The mayor explains to us “from the town hall we are working side by side with the Fishermen’s Association (Cofradía de Pescadores) look-
The Port Of Santa Pola Today
ing for the best possible quality of life for the seamen and their families. Thanks to that collaboration and to the excellent work of the Major Skipper of the Cofradía, José Ramón García, and our councillor for fishing
In the 21st century the fleet has decreased, although 80 boats go on with
Loreto Serrano, the mark “Peix de Santa Pola” was born 6 years ago,
4 main specialities: trawling, fishing line, fish trap and “trasmallo”. The
whose aim is to promote the quality of our fresh fish and to complement
nautical activity is very important, with the port of the yacht club (Club
the fishing activity with the gastronomic tourism, thanks to our traditional
Náutico Santa Pola) and a sports marina (Marina Miramar).
and varied gastronomy based on fish and shellfish of the bay. The qual-
Miguel Zaragoza feels proud of the fact that ”the fish market
ity of all those products and the good cooks make eating in Santa Pola a
(lonja) is one of the most important of the Mediterranean Sea. Here, an
must for the visitors”.
average of 3,000 boxes of fish are sold at auction every day, according to
The fish shops and restaurants of any corner of Spain which buys fish and
a computerized system and the Dutch auction, that is, every box of fish
shellfish in our fish market get the quality emblem “Peix de Santa Pola”,
starts its auction at a high price and it goes down until the buyer thinks
which has already become a symbol very valued by the consumer.
it is correct, then he activates a remote control and the box is automati-
According to Miguel Zaragoza, “we have managed to give value
cally knocked. Later, the box goes out thanks to a conveyor belt with an
to the species that were not demanded in the market and were thrown
identity label where the buyer’s name, the date of the capture, the way
away. Now, we can say satisfactorily that the Cofradía has not any excess,
of fishing used, the name of the boat and the bar code for public health
everything is sold”. Moreover, the Cofradía created its own selling point of
inspection are shown.
fish where we can buy fresh fish of very good price. Finally, just to say our mayor is the greatest defender of “Peix de Santa Pola” because when you buy it you can be completely sure of what you are eating. Our fish has all the legal procedures of sanitary revisions and its quality is more than excellent. “I would like to invite you to consume “Peix de Santa Pola”, the fish of our town because you will help the sailor men of our town and you will enjoy one of the best quality products than you can find”.
next month...we take a closer look at the fish, the boats and the people.
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Fiscal help... SPANISH INHERITANCE TAX An issue that concerns every British
as adult children.
property owner in Spain is the Spanish
I have mentioned this in a previous article,
Inheritance Tax. Firstly, there are two
but it is worth repeating. Although you
major differences to the UK that I’d like to
“jointly” own your property, you are each
point out:
the sole owner of 50% of the property (the classic case of a married couple, unless
1. The taxable person is the recipient.
you bought in different proportions and stated as such in the deeds). Upon inherit-
The inheritance tax is levied on acquisi-
ing your late spouse’s 50% share you will
tions, not on transfers. In the UK, it is the
have the same tax allowance as any adult
estate of the deceased which is subject to
child, but you will not be exempt.
andrea burns Tax & Legal Services SPANISH WILLS CONVEYANCES SPANISH PROBATE & INHERITANCES
POWER OF ATTORNEY N.I.E. NUMBERS
tax. In Spain, the recipient of the lifetime gift or inheritance is the taxpayer.
At the moment, the tax free allowance for non-residents still stands at a mere
2. Spouses are not exempt.
16,000€ for a spouse/adult child. For residents it was raised to 40,000€ not
In the UK, a spouse is generally an ex-
so long ago.
empt beneficiary. In Spain, that is not the case. Spouses are taxed exactly the same
RESIDENCE CERTIFICATES
The tax office also grant a 99 percent tax deduction to a resident
FISCAL REPRESENTATION
bereaved spouse. But on the conditions that: • both the deceased and the heir are tax-
NON-RESIDENTS’ INCOME TAX
paying residents • they have been residing in the property, that is the object
NON-RES. CAPITAL GAINS TAX
of said inheritance tax, for a minimum of five years • they have been registered as such on the Padrón.
URB. DON PUEBLO II BW 140 GRAN ALACANT 96 669 7824 or 639 608 969 ANDREABURNS@ORANGE.ES
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TEL: 96 679 6603 103, Calle Madrid Urb. La Marina
(off N-332 between Torrevieja & Santa Pola)
From Gran Alacant: take the N332 to the La Marina Urbanisation. Look for a major left turning into the main street lined with bars etc. After Supervalu turn right, continue until you find bars and dentist on your left
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JLCA & AS Lawyers
Top local lawyer Jose Luis is here to answer your legal questions.
José-Luis Campillo & Asociados Abogados - Lawyers www.jlcalawyers.com
INDEPENDENT LAW & TAX ADVICE
- General Practice & Litigation - Claims against builders/promoters Advice on Tax Matters - Accountancy for companies/self employed - English & Spanish Inheritance Advice - Real Estate - N.I.E. Numbers - Power of Attorney, Bank Accounts - Resident Permits - Mortgages, Loans - Notary Deed - Registration of the deed at - Land Registry - Trademarks - Spanish Wills - Reposessions - Traffic Accidents - Changes of Foreign Cars to Spanish Registration
ASK THE LAWYER… REPOSSESSION It is obvious, and unfortunately very common these days, that given the current financial crisis, some owners are unable to keep up with the mortgage on their property. The process of repossession from the bank begins when payments have not been paid for three or four months; it is then passed to the bank’s legal department, following which an action by them is brought against the owners. For example, a couple Mr and Mrs Orange bought a property in Spain 7 years ago for €150,000, with a mortgage of €100,000. Mr and Mrs Orange wrongly assume that by handing over the keys to the bank the process will be completed and nothing further will be claimed, however, this is not the case. The Bank puts the property up for auction at Court, and if there is no bidder, it takes the property for 50% of its auction value, say in this case, €50,000; but Mr and Mrs Orange would still owe the bank another €50,000 (the possibility of the bank claiming the said amount in their country of origin will be dealt with in a future article). What happens with the property? Once the Bank owns the house, it is put for sale. We have several clients and investors that have been asking us, as Lawyers, about this kind of property, given that some banks do provide us with this information.
the existing one can be used). Therefore the expenses for notary and registry are also lower, as is the valuation (the value is already provided by the bank), and opening fees, etc. are also avoided. Economic benefits: Many of the properties are below 20-30% of the market value, given that the it is in the banks’ interest to sell them as soon as possible, as it is a disadvantage for them to retain them on their balance sheets, besides having to pay to the Bank of Spain. Legal benefits: Properties are bought directly from the Bank, who is the legitimate owner, therefore, there are no third parties involved, nor charges that do not come from that same Bank. It is very secure method of purchase. In short, “the bank always wins”. At JLCA & As.-Lawyers, we can offer an economic costbenefit study and comprehensive legal advice, should you be considering the option of acquiring property through auction, which is confidential information that we have. The competitive benefits of this type of purchase are that the property is already built - it is not off-plan, you can view the property, and reach an agreement with the bank, confident that we will oversee all the legal processes on your behalf.
What are the fiscal, economic and legal advantages of buying a repossessed property? Fiscal benefits and bank expenses: Saving 1% of stamp duty in the event of a subrogation of the bank’s mortgage (no new mortgage has to be requested by clients who want bank funding;
Avda. Escandinavia, 72, C.C. Altomar II, Local 8, Manzana E, 03130 GRAN ALACANT (Santa Pola) Telf: 966 698 796 · Fax: 966 699 570 Espana - Spain · info@jlcalawyers.com ELCHE: Avda. de Alicante, 24 7°03203 - Elche ·Espana - Spain Telf: 966 612 816 · Fax: 965 427 800 infonacional@jlcalawyers.com LONDON: 96-98 Baker Street W1 U6TJ London Tel. 0044(0)20072241095 e-mail. londonoffice@jlcalawyers.com
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ga sp gran alacant
santa pola
STOP PRESS The GA train will make a much awaited return at the end of March. New, faster and covering more of GA! Look out for it soon!! Chuff, Chuff!
Loreto’s response to Bob Whately (see letters page) Dear Mr. Whatley, I would like to answer to the writing you have sent to the Jungle Drums and
believe that all the projects done in Gran Alacant have been paid by the
that affects directly to me.
central government because then you are not telling the truth).
I think that what you are saying about me it is not fair for different reason and
3 - I have never denied that “some” of the projects done recently in Gran
I would like to think it is because you do not have the necessary information:
Alacant are paid by the central government. In fact, in one of my articles in
1 - Juani Soriano, the representative of the PSOE party in Gran Alacant has
the Jungle Drums I said the following sentence: “Santa Pola has received a
been writing her column in the Jungle Drums for long time (even before
subsidy from the Central Government.” ( and then I attached the projects
than me) and I can assure you she wrote in a higher political tone than me.
and the amount of money they cost). What you have not said in your writing
She is not writing anymore because she has decided not to do it. Anyway, I
is that every single town or city in Spain has received the same type of
cannot remember anybody from the Popular Party asking her to tone down
subsidy from the Spanish government, so I do not have more help from this
her political level in her writings, among other things, because I think we are
government than the rest of Spanish cities. We received the money from
living in a free country where everybody can say what they think. You can
them but you did not explain in your writing that our mayor, Miguel Zaragoza,
share or not the different opinions (and I can tell that the Jungle Drums does
decided where to invest this money and how to do it. Miguel decided to invest
give the opportunity to speak to everybody not looking to the political party
more than 2.5 million euros in Gran Alacant (and not in any other place of
you belong to) but you cannot shut up the different voices there can be in a
Santa Pola) and I have been the person who have been together with the
community. I think that is something wrong.
technical people deciding how to do them and trying that the companies
2- I belong to the Popular Party. I have been the first councillor that Gran
do their job properly. Nobody from the central government has decided the
Alacant has (because not any other party thought about Gran Alacant like
design of the municipal park or any other project. (I would like to ask you for
us) and I can say proudly I have done nearly all the first things in this area:
giving complete information to the readers and not only a part of it).
the first municipal office, the first municipal library, the first public school,
4 - I will write in Jungle Drums informing the people of Gran Alacant what
the first see-viewing points, the first municipal parks, the first public health
is going on, saying that I belong to the Popular Party because it is like that.
centre, the trees, the wide pathways, the cleaning and fencing of the Clot...
Finally, I would like to invite you, Mr. Whatley, to come and speak with
and all these projects that we did in Gran Alacant have not been paid by the
me because, maybe, you will change your opinion about Loreto Cascales.
Central Government but also by the Valencian Governments, the Diputacion
Sometimes, it is more important to look to the person and not only to the
de Alicante or the Santa Pola Town Hall. (Please, do not try to make people
policitian (or the political party) you have in your town.
HURRY BACK MAUREEN....... ALL OF US HERE AT JUNGLE DRUMS WOULD LIKE TO WISH YOU A SPEEDY RECOVERY X X
Biblioteca Internacional Gran Alacant The International Library of Gran Alacant offers the following activities: SPANISH FOR FOREIGN PEOPLE (beginners & intermediate) LANGUAGE CLUB - INTERNET BASIC (for english speaking people) VALENCIÀ - CREATIVE WORKSHOPS (for children over 6 years) THEATRE FOR CHILDREN (3-5 years and over 6 years) ENGLISH FOR TRAVELLERS - PILATES LATIN DANCING - BALLROOM DANCING - BATUKA + FITNESS BATUKA + BELLYDANCE - HIP-HOP, STREETDANCE... Further information at the Library Av. Escandinavia, 31, or by mail santapola.biga1@gmail.com or by phone 966697110
YOUR PHOTOS
IMPORTANT EVENT NOTICE LIFE RESORT
12 MARCH 2010
THE BRISTISH CONSULATE OF ALICANTE IN CONJUCTION WITH THE AYUNTAMIENTO OF SANTA POLA Hi JD I thought it was a wind up when I was told the caterpillars march in a line but here are some photos I just took in GA. Ugh!!! Karen Biddle
dont forget they are dangerous to dogs and cats
IS GIVING A TALK ABOUT PENSIONS-HEALTH CARE ETC. TO THE LOCAL BRITSIH COMUNITY
sier ra de Santa Pola parak opening
d
Subterfuge The new 300.000€ recreational centre complete with playgrounds for all ages, will be enjoyed by the residents of GA. for many years to come. Unfortunately it is situated at the junction of the busiest exit road and roundabout in GA, without parking facilities. A wonderful idea but in the wrong place! A park already exists, not five minutes’ walk from the new centre at the library complex with parking facilities. Last year, tax payers’ money was spent on improvements. The children’s playground was extended and updated; petanca area was created; trees planted; flower beds renewed; lighting and paths improved. It has become the focal point, meeting place, the community heart!
Fiestas take place here. bouncy
castles and live concerts. During the summer months a cafe opens where you can sit under the trees, drinking coffee watching the world go by.
Meet neighbours
on their way to the library or medical centre.
Local
policemen stop for a chat. People sit on the benches reading or working on their computers. Parents pick up their children from the school bus. The playground is always a hive of activity. Here, can be found the best views in GA! Therein lays the problem, for this is the site where the Council wants to build a hotel. In this recession, if, a hotel is needed, first finish the one along the N332. If the hotel goes ahead then the cost to the residents of GA will be the destruction of this beautiful public area. Hence the subterfuge, build a new recreational centre and hope that the residents will not notice the destruction Here is a thought, will Altomar I and Gran Vista’s privacy be compromised? Do the residents of these urbanizaciones want people peering, from their hotel balconies, into their homes and gardens? GA appeared to be one of the last unspoilt areas in Spain.
Foreigners who purchased homes were
attracted by the open spaces and green areas, not hotels and supermarkets.
Dear friends, hello again, Firstly, I would like to reply to the false accusations expelled about my person and my Popular Party team. I would like to answer directly to the person who wrote the article called “GA covered in concrete” but, unfortunately, that person did not dare to sign it and did not give a name to the unfair and inappropriate accusations about myself. I want to make it clear that every house built in Gran Alacant (even shopping areas and other infrastructure mentioned in that article) comes from the General Urban Development Plan of 1985 approved by the Socialist Party (PSOE), when I was 8 years old. That plan has allowed the massive construction of houses in Gran Alacant, without any order or projection for the future. The narrow pavements and the street lights in the middle of them, as well as the urban disaster in many urbanisations are also thanks to that plan dated from 1985. My party and our mayor have designed a new General Urban Development Plan which came into force a short period of time ago. This new plan, much more respectful towards the environment since it protects almost 70% of the municipal land (the Sierra of Santa Pola around Gran Alacant and all the green areas included), will force the construction companies to build in a different way, with wide pavements and avenues and modern and appropriate to 21st century street furniture, which you all deserve. It also will make possible the connection between Santa Pola and Gran Alacant through the N-332 road. It seems to me that it is not correct to talk about what is not known and to accuse people without clear reasons only to make people doubt and make Loreto Cascales look like a liar and environmentally unfriendly. I do not hide, I do sign all my texts. Moreover, when I give my word, I keep it. If somebody has any doubt, as our unknown friend says, you are invited to come to my office and speak to me, my door has been, is and will be always open for all the people who want to go in, whichever nationality they are and wherever they come from. In Gran
Alacant, we are all important and, at least to me, we all count. Regarding the sentence of the article where it is stated that Gran Alacant is the piggy bank of Santa Pola, I would like to ask the author if he/ she has the appropriate figures to make that kind of statements or somebody else has told him/her that as a figment of the imagination. The fact that the president of the government of PSOE, Mr. Zapatero, has led Spain to a deep crisis, that we are being one of the last European countries to recover and that we are one of the countries with more unemployment, I think all that is not my responsibility or my mayor’s. If the establishments of Gran Alacant and, in general, in Spain are not working at the moment, it is due to those who are governing at a national level. I may be wrong in some things and many promises will take long or short time to come, but it is shown that since I am the councillor of this area, Gran Alacant has changed: the municipal office, the library, the school, the health centre, the asphalt of the streets, the shelters, many of the pavements, the viewpoint of Escandinavia Avenue, the improvement of “Clot de Galvany”and many other things have not been paid by the National Government’s Plan E. The town council, the Diputación de Alicante or the Generalitat Valenciana paid all that. Of course, the most important to me is not who pays the projects, but to get them for a better Gran Alacant to live in. Whether people like it or not, I am achieving it. (What’s more, if I make those projects be paid by other administrations, it is much better for the santapoleros’ pockets). Me, of course, I keep the last 7th February at the opening of the new “Sierra de Santa Pola” municipal park. Thanks to all those people who were there, I felt happy because in days like that one where plans come true for the people of your town, the work, the worries and the unfair criticism that I receive every day are left in the background. And I see I am capable of getting a better quality of life for the Gran Alacant population. (see photos above)
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opposite Hyundai
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STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408
CROSSWORD 1
CROSSWORD 2
Alpha-Cross 01 The first letter of each answer is written next to its clue in alphabetical order. One letter has already been entered. Can you find the words then fit them correctly into the grid?
2. Let cure become a lesson (7) 3. Find a fish in a wee lake (3) 5. Begins tantrum in a moment (7) 6. Palindrome instrument (5) 7. Found in large scale drama crowd (5) 8. Hesitates to use spa turbulence (6) 12. Committee on a ship (6) 13. Evidence of injury, allow for
9 5
1
3
Wordoku key word: NEIGHBOUR
4
0
1 4 2
answers page 25
redness (7) 15. Shorten a river crossing (7) 16. Serenity, sounds like part of something greater (5) 18. Nobleman with ponytail is before his time (5) 20. Grasp earnest weapon, essentially (5) 22. High point found in octopus (3)
7
L. Prevarication (3) M. Award (5) N. Pleasant (4) N. Observed (5) O. Sumptuous (7) R. Send payment (5) S. Short tail (4) S. Begin (5) S. Powerful (6) S. Proposed (9) T. Rising current of warm air (7) W. Bet (5) W. Capricious (9)
beginning and end of shifts (6) 17. Last letter in some game (5) 19. Tolerates some token duress (7) 21. Alter code when moved (9) 23. One of the Earps, sounds interrogative at first (5) 24. Shuffle a paper then come into view (6) DOWN 1. Sum up tall youth, essentially (5)
4
A. Sharp (5) A. Remedied (7) A. Protective garment (5) C. Hoard (5) C. Tapers (7) C. Group of bovines (6) C. Fake (11) E. Epoch (3) E. No longer in existence (7) G. Chivalrous (7) I. Lit up (11) L. Terse (7) L. Lackadaisical (7)
Across 11. Bank employee, who can say (6) 4. Balance found in muesli bran (5) 9. Crumbling old places fell down (9) 10. Not as old as that confused Reno guy (7) 11. Plenty of land in tarmac resort (5) 12. Opposed to poetry (6) 14. Purloins duck between
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Visit: www.tibacb.com or Email: info@tibacb.com
Tel: 902 906 015 22
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FOULEYE’S I am not overly religious, but neither am I anti-religion: I have my own beliefs which are personal. But as a fully paid-up member of the La Marina community I like to see it looking nice, and attractive to live in. What’s happening to the church? Perhaps it’s down to the miserable un-Spanish weather we’ve been experiencing lately – I’m sure it wasn’t like this in February when I first came here – but I was walking past it the other day, and a more un church-like building you couldn’t wish to see. Ok, I’m English, and where we come from churches are very old, very traditional. There are a few modern ones, but…is ours here really supposed to look a half-finished warehouse built by the co-op? I suppose it all comes back to the time-honoured subject of money – or lack of it – as to why it appears to be as though the builders have just downed tools and walked away – any ideas? I hope that by the time you read this the weather has improved, the only (minor) consolation is that it’s the same over most of Europe; the UK looks very cold with more snow and ice to come. Can’t go on here - can it? Anyone been to the big new Chinese takeaway? You know, the non-food one on the N332, on the old Mortar Mavik site. There you can buy everything you could always buy at any of the other smaller ones, it’s just that…well, I don’t know really, there must be some point to it, mustn’t there: can you let me know? I’ve been, just to say I’ve been, and although I didn’t buy anything, my wife did – I’m sure the cushion covers will come in hand, we’ve only got fifty-seven. Oh, and you can never have enough plastic boxes, can you? That shopping centre adjacent to the new Chink by Mercadonna worries me. At present rate of progress – or lack of it – it will be full of shops and businesses by the end of the century (not saying which one). By the way I hear the La Marina train has been withdrawn from service until June. Hopefully by then the trippers will all be here to make good use of it… Back here in LM we struggle on, but in my experience as Easter approaches, so do the green shoots appear and hey-presto – we’re back to normal! Before you know it we’ll be bemoaning the lack of water, the heat of the sun, the strength of the pound v the euro (sorry, I forgot, we’re doing that last one already), and every day life returns here in paradise! See you soon
Fouleye
La Marina Sex.
By John McGregor
Right – now that I have your attention I confess that
I never recovered from this poor, inferior-status start.
this is not that sort of column – or magazine! It is about
On an early date I missed most of one James Bond
some peculiarities that exist between the sexes. I
film – Goldfinger, I think it was, must see it through one
first noticed there were real differences between the
day – trying to work out how I was going to put my arm
sexes, apart from the obvious physical ones, when my
round Marilyn Weightman in the dark confined space.
sisters, one older and one younger, seemed to know
Why was it we lads had to make all the running? The
instinctively how to play our Dad; whereas I didn’t have
girls seem to hold all the aces, they said yes or no
a clue. The younger one let me into the secret once,
(depending on the question!): it seemed grossly unfair
years too late of course: apparently you had to put on
to me to have to walk nervously across a dance-
a woebegone expression, look down, and say Da-ad…
floor and risk humiliating rejection when pleading for
He would put his hand instinctively into his pocket,
temporary companionship in time to the music. Here
and there you are, - well, they were - five bob she
you will note my use of ‘dance’ rather than ‘disco’ – that
said; never failed! My type of dialogue in those days
gives away my age!
with my ex-military father was more of the one-way
This then brings me nicely to more confusing gender
(downwards) variety, as in
roles: just as I was plucking up courage, and beginning
‘Here’s two bob, go and get your hair cut’. By dint
to get the hang of it all, along came – feminism!. Apart
of necessary research I knew the Polish barber off
from the burning your bra (didn’t it hurt?), the serious
Mansfield Road would do it for one and six, and the
bit was that women got a bit more militant – yes, ok,
change was mine. Hardly in my sisters’ league though,
you needed to, I realise that, but…secretly, you still
was it? In an effort to try to even things up, as a boy
wanted to be wooed and romanced. You still do now,
I was brought up to open doors for ladies, and stand
I know; I’ve just bin there on Valentines Day (did my
up when they came into a room; even raise my cap
bit, girls).
to senior ladies when I was small. Old ladies were my
But we lads of all ages are a bit confused these days,
speciality (still are):
aren’t we fellas? I was on the first wave of ‘new men’,
‘Such a nice polite boy, your John, Mrs McGregor…’.
going over the top in the name of equality in the
You can see where I got my pocket money from then,
seventies. Sadly I didn’t get in to see my two children
can’t you? Except that Mum never seemed to have
born, at the last minute both times it wasn’t going well:
much spare money, bless her. If Mum was always
the modern miracle of caesareans took over, and I was
there for me throughout my life I never seemed to
booted out. I gather fledging Dads are even included
get on the right side of Dad in those days, whereas
in those operations these days. But hey, afterwards I
my lovely sisters had it instinctively – in spades! My
got my hands dirty early, and I have to say I loved it.
older sister was a nightmare to follow. Everything
The grotty side, or end, held no fears and I loved all the
she touched turned to gold: ten ‘O’ levels, three ‘A’s,
toddler feeding, nappies (real Terry ones, not namby-
university, BA and MA. Just to spice that up she played
pamby disposables), baths, bedtime stories, all that
hockey for the county. So where was I when the brains
stuff. My preferred age of children is from birth, up until
were being handed out? At the barbers I should think!
the age when they can answer you back!
As if that wasn’t bad enough my younger sister won
I suppose the penny should have dropped then, when
one of seven free scholarships to the High School in
I found my son, a chip off the old block, obediently did
our city during her eleven plus year. I wasn’t thick, you
as he was told – and his younger sister didn’t. And
understand but compared to them I was - and Dad
yet the funny thing was she seemed to be able to get
didn’t get it: he was not impressed. The point I am
round me easily, no matter what. Hey, hang on, I’ve
clumsily trying to make is that they had brains AND
just realised something – wasn’t this where I came in?
animal cunning built into their female DNA: and I’m still
Sons - sisters – women – daughters - fathers. Yes,
trying to figure out how and why?
we’ve gone full circle, another generation has passed
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SMITHY IS RIGHT 'Smithy' (JD Feb) is so right, the PP Mayor and his Councillors seem hell bent on destroying any green spaces that are left in Gran Alacant. Arguably there has been too much building anyway and they now want to fill in every bit of open land between urbanisations, creating wall-towall concrete. The latest proposal is for a market place on the land just below the sports centre on the only piece of green space left in the area, near to six urbanisations including the Life Resort. This will be at massive expense being on a hill, will involve grubbing up of trees and is the last place for a market. It is so far from the main parts of G.A.that most traders and customers will be reluctant to make the journey. If a new market place is necessary surely it would be better to have it on the lower part of Gran Alacant - it could be situated on the spare land behind the Commercial Centre and car wash (scheduled for another supermarket) - there are various other sites I could suggest. Demolishing the municipal office, health clinic and library (then rebuilding these facilities on green land next to Monte Faro) to make way for a hotel is a scandalous waste of resources and materials. Building on every possible bit of land does not do down well with voters and people like to live within walking distance of green spaces, so we can only hope that Mayor Zaragosa and the council will wake up to this fact before it is too late. It would be better to develop local green zones rather than to spend loads of (Plan E) money from the government creating a pretty pretty park next to the most dangerous roundabout in Gran Alacant.
IT’S PROPOGANDA!
Gran Alacant
Dear Editor, I am am a keen reader of Jungle Drums and I think that you provide a valuable service to the Expat Brit community. However, I do have one point of issue with the magazine and that is the monthly column by Loreto Cascales. I have no objection to factual information from Santa Pola Council, but Loreto's column is fast becoming a monthly party political broadcast for the Popular Party. What makes matters worse is that many of the improvements that she boasts about are actually paid for by "Plan E" money from the Socialist government. I would point out that not all your readers are natural supporters of the Popular Party (equivalent to the UK Conservatives) and perhaps it would be a good idea to ask her to tone it down a bit or for the magazine to introduce more political balance. All the best,
Hi Reference a letter from "Michael and Rita, Rojales" in the February edition, it is the weak GBP which has affected the exchange rate for British ex-pats here and not a weak Euro. So any issue on this should be directed to Dr Gordon "no more boom and bust" Brown, 10 Downing St, London. The racist tone of that letter and its ignorance (lack of knowledge) were dreadful. IH Oooh.
DOWNLOAD Hi. can I download the mag anywhere ?. I have downloaded a PDF copy via the 'Issuu' web site by it is a bit unreadable in places. Is the Spanish subscription 'Free'.... if so how do I do it. Hope this is possible as the trek from 'Montecid Urbanisation'(near Monforte Del Cid) all the way over to Gran Alacant to hunt around for a copy, proves fruitless sometimes.
Bob. Gran Alacant
Thanks Guy and Lyn at a very 'cold' Montecid.
Hi Bob, We’ve passed on your comments to Loreto and she has responded through her article on the GA page. However, speaking for the magazine, I let the writers write, and the readers judge. ED.
Yours truly. Rose Jackson
BLAME BROWN
Guy and Lyn Mitchell Hiya, Yes, you will soon be able to do it directly from the website – we are in the process of updating it at the moment so bear with us. Meanwhile the copy on Is-
See Loreto’s response on the GA
suu should be better quality this
page.
month. ED.
How’dyado?
easy
puzzle solutions FROM PAGE 21
not so easy
wordoku
crossword 1
crossword 2
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2
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Phase One
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(THE FO REST
MARINA
cio
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27
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INLANDpages
F
For the jokers...by the jokers
YOU MUST JOKING
LAUGH...? LY ... I NEAR OTHER READ AN NE! MAGAZI
to. . .
ETISER IKED IS
Welcome
INLA
NDpa
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the Campo tradition on g in rry ca ’re we es jok w ne old e With the sam with lots of fun... e Jungle Drums... ...all tucked rather neatly inside Th
Come on in...and ’ave a laugh!
Bless ‘im... Throughout our marriage, my wife has always stood by my side. She had to. We’ve only got one chair. I was showing my wife this one. I said, ‘Look at this dear.’ I always call her dear. She’s got antlers growing out of the side of her head. I was woken up this morning by a tap on the door. I must remember to get the plumber to take it off. There have been times that I have known disappointment, even despair. The public never realised because I was laughing on the outside while I was crying on the inside. Very dangerous that - you could easily drown. At the Royal Command Performance 1964, Tommy walks on stage with a heater he says, ‘They told me to go out and warm the crowd up.’ A man walked into a bar. Ouch.........It was an iron bar. A woman told her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back.’ The doctor said, ‘It’s old age.’ The woman said, ‘I want a second opinion.’ The doctor says, ‘OK. You’re ugly as well.’ A man is trying to sell his dog. So he stops another man and says, ‘Wanna buy a dog? He’s very clever look at this.’ He throws a stick into the pond and says, ‘Fetch that, Rover.’ The dog gets up on his hind legs and walks across the water and gets the stick. ‘Thats no good to me mate,’ said the man. ‘He can’t swim.’ A man went to the doctor and said, ‘I need help urgently. I keep dreaming that women come into my bedroom and I keep pushing them away.’ The doctor said, ‘What do you want me to do?’And the man said, ‘Cut my arms off.’ A woman phoned her husband and said, ‘The carburettor is full of water.’ ‘Where’s the car?’ the man said. ‘In the river,’ she replied. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
you know you’re having a bad day
ADIOS!! when...
Unfortunately ‘Campo’ has been unable to survive the recession. Developments, completely beyond our control, have meant that overnight we have had to ‘pull the plug’ on our popular magazine. Because events happened so quickly it was impossible to publish a final ‘farewell’ edition. We would like to express our appreciation to ‘Jungle Drums’ who have gracefully allowed us the space to credit everyone who has been involved with Campo over the past six years: our readers, advertisers, sales team, distributors and and designers: you were part of a unique publishing experience. We are pleased that for the past seventy five months we have brought a smile to thousands of faces. We’ve made people laugh and hopefully helped people through some troubled times. We’ve got to thank Anne Robinson for this one ….. Who thinks a Tandoori is a brown door?
Peter
20 Zens...part one 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just go away and leave me alone. 2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any. 3. No one is listening until you fart. 4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else. 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
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‘What a great chest you have!’ He tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, Baby.’ He takes off his pants and the blonde says, ‘What massive calves you have!’
INLANDpages
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,
The body builder tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, baby.’ He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran Out of the apartment like that. The blonde replies, : I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!
20 Zens...part two 6. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. 7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Five rules for men to follow for a happy life 1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you. 4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It’s very, very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Te a c h h i m h o w t o f i s h , and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
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20 Zens...part three 11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen. 13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment. 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says... “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”
Grey Matters 1- Find the C below.. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below. 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3 - Now find the N below. It’s a little more difficult. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, your brain is great and you’re far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.
“Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. “ With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pork. “Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree.” “Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don’ forget.” “Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree.” And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath, “Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree! “ “Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? “ “Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree... Ees... Ees... Ees... Ees... Ees a ham bush...”
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Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes’ wife is begins to
INLANDpages
It’s Complicated...
deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attendance. “What d’ya want me to do, Doctor?” “Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!” the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. “Mike, you’re the proud father of a fine strapping boy.” “Saints be praised, I...” Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, “Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike.” Soon the doctor delivers the next child. “You’ve a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter.”
20 Zens...part four
“Thanks be to...” Again the Doctor cuts in, “Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!” Soon the Doctor delivers a third
16. There are two excellent
child. The doctor
en. Neither one works
“Doctor,” asks Mike, “Do you think it’s the light that’s
theories for arguing with wom-
holds up the baby for Mike’s inspection.
17. Generally speaking, you
attracting them?”
aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse
....... then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circum-
stances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com
Jungle Drums would like thank JOHN HARRIS for sharing with us his passion of local flowers....
SPRING FLOWER WATCH by John Harris
WHAT’S IN A (BIRD) NAME?
DARFORD WARBLER
by Malcolm Palmer Some bird names, of course, are part of everday
Early settlers in America, no ornithologists, spotted
conversation. Swallow and Starling, Magpie and
a bird with a red breast, and called it a Robin, even
Blackbird – there can be few people for whom an
though it’s bigger than a Blackbird, and blackbirds,
image isn’t triggered by these words. Of course the
warblers and sparrows over there are from different
name of a family can also put a picture in your head
families to ours’.
– duck or woodpecker are words that do that. But
Spanish names tend to be a touch more practical,
as soon as things get complicated, most people lose
but oddly, they have no equivalent of ‘owl,’ calling
that instant image, and only a birder would see an
all such birds ‘nocturnal raptors,’ Barn Owl being
image of, say, an Olivaceous Warbler, or even, less
‘lechuza’ Little Owl ‘mochuelo,’ Eagle Owl ‘buho
specifically, a hippolais warbler. (the name given to
real’ and so forth. Funny translations abound:
the same species’ genus, or close relatives) He/she
Cetti’s Warbler is called ‘illegitimate nightingale,’
might also be able to tell you that its scientific name
and Wood Sanpiper ‘Illegitimate river-runner.’
is Hippolais pallida, or that it is known in Spanish as
French names can be fanciful, as ‘Hibou Grand-
Zarcera palida. To be any use, a bird’s name ought
duc’ for Eagle Owl, but the dear old Germans
to tell you something about the bird, its habits,
take the biscuit, with their tendency to run
appearance or voice – good examples in English
words together and create unwieldly handles, as
are Turnstone, Pintail or Hoopoe. The first turn over
‘Bogenschnaebligerstrandlaufer’ – ‘bent-billed
stones in the search for a tasty meal, the second
beach-runner.’ And that is their word for Curlew
has a long, tapering tail and the third says its name.
Sandpiper.
But there are some remarkably silly English
A study of names, and their origin, can be almost as
names. Who on earth sees the length of a Short-
fascinating as the birds themselves.
A quick look at just some of the many wild flowers we can see coming into to bloom locally within the next 6 to 8 weeks. These are all growing on the campo opposite Monte Faro in Gran Alacant and in many other locations locally, please bare in mind when looking for these wild flowers most of them are only 8 to 10 cm tall and are easily crushed underfoot whilst trying to find them. Get out there and have a look and open your eyes to another world. If anbody requires any further information just give me a call. John Harris 630351807 or 966699265
Galactites Tomentosa
Fleur de Sangre
Wild Gladioli
Ophrys Speculum
Daphnia.
Narssici
Narssici Blanca.
Corse Vetch.
Centaurea Aspera
Cynoglossum Cheirifolium
toed Eagle’s toes? Why not Snake Eagle, as in the German Schlangenadler or the Spanish Aguila culebrera? Even so, the romantic French give it an even dafter name: Circaete Jean le Blanc! Other names based on appearance fall short of common sense: The Black-headed Gull never has a black head and the Red-rumped Swallow’s rump is never more than smudgy orange. Then there are the species which have distinctive breeding plumage, so that their name is inappropriate for much of
HEN HARRIER
the year – Black Tern, Spotted Redshank, Black Guillemot, for instance. Another pitfall is to name birds after a geographical situation. Hence no Dartford Warbler would venture near industrial North Kent, Kentish Plovers no longer nest in Britain, let alone Kent, and Sandwich Terns have only a passing knowledge of the town of that name, and don’t eat butties either! Look for a moment, then, at habits. What do Oystercatchers eat? Well, mussels, in fact. And how
BH GULL
many hens does your average Hen Harrier harry? Or consider the birds named after people. OK if they were eminent figures in the history of the science, I suppose, like Bewick, Audubon, Wilson, Pallas or Temminck, all of whom have several birds to their name, but whoever was Signor Cetti? And who
Would like to know the name ?
was Lady Amherst to have a pheasant named for her – perhaps she had something going with the gamekeeper, like another Lady we could mention?
SWALLOW
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some will go to any lengths...
The Jungle Drums Magazine ONLINE
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Easter’s almost here, beach, barbecue, and work!
When I left him he was preparing to paint direction arrows at a junction, so watch out, when driving around La Marina Urb.
No rest for our Team, we are in crisis beating
Funny enough that ties in nicely with a kind
mode and ready, willing and able to serve all
phone call we received, from a lovely Lady
your motoring needs.
in Valverde, who thought we should ask our
Let’s start with some information that you, may
Spanish friends about their attitude to white
find useful. Did you know that when you buy a
lines. Well, I shall save that one for next
new car in Spain, that it does not need an ITV,
month, when Paco has painted a few more, by
until 4 years after it’s date of first registration.
which time, I am sure he will be an expert in
You will, approaching it’s 4th birthday, receive
the philosophy of white lines.
a letter, from the “Ministerio Del Interior”,
On to other serious stuff, lots of enquiries con-
advising you that an ITV is required by the due
cerning cars, that have been sold on, or sent
date. However, if you have imported and re-
to be scrapped. These folk are still receiving
registered your car, during 2005, you will also
the Road Tax bills and, in one instance Traf-
receive this letter, as the computer in Madrid,
fic fines. You must ensure that when getting
will show your vehicle to be a first registration,
rid of your car that the ownership, is quickly
irrespective of it’s age and ITV history. Some
transferred into the new owners name, or if
more paper for the recycling bin!
being scrapped that the correct documentation is returned to you, by Steptoe y Hijo.
Unfortunately, this month, I have not had the
We can deal with these matters, please give
opportunity to speak with either Paco or Jose,
us a call for advise and a quote.
although I did bump into Paco, literally, when I came across him, in his new job for the local
Till next month, safe motoring, don’t forget you
Council, painting lines on the road. Now this
can contact us on, Tel : 966 419 769.
is a man, who is happiest driving his pony and
Or e-mail :
trap, or chasing his pigeons around the coun-
mick@completemotoringsolutions.es
tryside and his previous attempts at painting have been either his pigeons or his fence.
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Office: 902 906 200
Back in September last year we reviewed a video on demand service called www.ted.com. They feature talks from some of the worlds most remarkable people. This month I would like look at a couple of talks from this website that I have found very interesting and I hope you will too. The first talk is by a guy called Pranav Mis-
The next talk that I found very interesting
try who has been developing a new way of interacting with computers.
was by a guy called Jamie Haywood who setup an Internet company called “Patients Like Me” inspired by his brother Stephen
The video can be found at http://www.ted.
who contracted ALS (a terminal disease).
com/talks/lang/eng/pranav_mistry_the_ thrilling_potential_of_sixthsense_technol-
The video can be viewed at http://www.
ogy.html or at this shortcut http://tinyurl.
ted.com/talks/jamie_heywood_the_big_
com/ydescjl
idea_my_brother_inspired.html or at this shortcut http://tinyurl.com/y8j44fu
Rather than using a mouse and a keyboard
Competitive Rates
mobile: 655 044 970
Welcome to this month’s computer article written by Richard from BlueMoon Solutions
Pranav feels that a gesture type interface is
What the family wanted to do was to gather
the way forward and has developed a quite amazingly sophisticated input device for a computer that can be carried around as
as much information about Stephens condition as possible, review as many other people in the same situation as him and
part of your clothing. The computer screen can be projected onto any surface (wall, writing paper,
use that information to make the best decisions about his treatment, the drugs that he should use
newspaper) and
and
can be interacted with by hand movements, for
to get the most from what little time he had left.
example to see what time it is Pranav draws a circle on his wrist with his index finger and
Although the talk is a very sobering look at life – it’s also however inspir-
the computer attached to him projects an image of the Windows clock onto his wrist! When he picks up a newspaper, the computer “reads” what he is looking at and projects relevant information onto the page to enhance the news article (video, statistical information etc). All in all, this is a compelling video that shows us what we could expect to see in technology in the coming years. Certainly the general principle of using gestures to interact with our computers seems to be the way forward, it’s something that we do naturally and we don’t really have to learn. Who knows perhaps sign language will be the language that is taught in the school of the future?
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how
best
ing because out of this research came the website www.patientslikeme. com which allows any of us to review our own conditions. It allows us to learn from other people who match our symptoms and allows us to learn about new treatment methods and ways of managing our individual health situations. One good example can be found in the symptoms section of the website there are currently 9535 people suffering from Insomnia. From the website you can see what drugs (both “over the counter” and “supplemental”) or treatments are being taken, how effective in each case these treatments are over time.
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Coach on the Couch Well Valentine’s Day has been and gone and I suspect many happy meals for two and some not so happy moments of ‘miscommunication’ between couples. I thought, with Spanish Father’s Day and UK Mothers Day this month, it might be a good time to share some of my ideas about communication between the sexes. I’ve spoken briefly in the past about communication and I reckon how to communicate between the sexes is one of the most important lessons we can learn. There are many jokes about how women talk too much and men reply with a grunt from behind the newspaper – in my experience many of the jokes are born out of truth! Even in single sex relationships, there are usually roles played out in one form or another. The fact we have roles and different styles of communication is not a problem, what we have to do is acknowledge this, begin to understand it, and even better – have a good laugh about it!
Tips for women Don’t talk when he’s talking Women think they’re adding. For women to add to each others’ sentences is acceptable Most men need a space in which to enter a conversation
Believe what he is saying
Many women believe men speak on many levels and therefore try to find hidden meanings, however usually men say what they mean and mean what they say. Men don’t spend 2 minutes of their day calling another guy to say, “Here’s what she said at breakfast this morning – what do you think she meant?”
Be patient
A man’s facial expression may be different from a woman’s. He may talk more slowly or pause more often than a woman, when this happens, let his thoughts flow, don’t speak during his pauses.
Tips for men Listen to a woman all the way through
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Sometimes women will talk in order to process information or to figure out what they want to do – instead of thinking in silence and then stating a conclusion (like a man). If you recognise this is happening, just let her thoughts progress ie allow her to talk. Don’t rush her – prompting her interrupts the thought process, which can cause her to feel slighted/ annoyed.
Give her your full attention
Look at her in the eye (This may be different in different cultures). This response shows you care about what she is saying.
Be patient
Her pace when talking may be different from yours. She may want to cover more subjects than you in the same conversation, often flitting from one thing to another. At the end of the day, remember we communicate differently – make an effort to accommodate those differences. There is no right and wrong. I hope you have a very happy Valentine’s Day. Concentrate on acceptance and enjoying each other’s company, to my mind, that’s more important than the red roses and cards – especially in these ‘financially challenged’ times. Please feel free to drop me a line to comment or question nigel@coachonthecouch. co.uk.
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MARCH 2010 The Long and Winding Road The future calls, yet you may not be ready this month. Circumstances could prevent you from reaching your goals, yet there are many positive reasons to maintain hope. Now is the time to keep your eyes out of the past and on the prize. A trip to Santa Pola market will help – a bargain is waiting for you…and a bloke selling tissues. For the Good of All Now is the time to imagine a future filled with work that satisfies the soul. Your discarded dreams are revived now, yet your attention is directed more toward the care and happiness of others rather than yourself this month. Your application to be a lifeguard in Alicante is turned down…yes, even with the water wings on. False Start Your natural restlessness can turn this into a frustrating time if you actually believe that everything should simply fall into place this month. Whether your work is inland or on the coast, a sign from a Spanish farmer driving a tractor is imminent. But ignore him – that’s just rude. You may continue to struggle with a lack of resources, yet you are able to comprehend the difference between impossible dreams and those that can come true. Cancer Discovering Buried Treasure Obstacles may arise this month, yet these challenges can bring out your resourceful side and allow you to uncover assets that were previously hidden. Your life is full of unexpected events and generous, like-minded individuals.
Time to Heal Much of this month is about establishing a new direction, Leo. Connecting with others is key now, and your forgiving side emerges to allow you to move past old emotional pains. But the month isn’t all about feelings -the rest of your focus goes toward handling finances and managing your resources. Or better still, pop into the bar, watch the footy, get bladdered and neither feelings nor direction will matter. Spirit of Cooperation This lovey-dovey month could be especially sweet for you, Virgo. There’s an overflow of inspiration to elevate your spirit and enrich your daily life. Remember the one who winked at you in La Marina? No? She’s now got the other eye working too so you’re in with a chance. You can now smooth out the rough edges of unsatisfying connections by forgiving and letting go of little issues that don’t matter anymore, like twitches. Dream the Impossible Dream You may feel as if you’ve been knocked off course and it’s now time to put your life back on track. New opportunities in the form of hungry people and a big M on your work hat will prove tough but ideal. You’re being offered a chance to create new dreams to feed your soul. magnifying the healing power of compassion and love. Relying on critical thinking can only take you so far. Set logic aside and let your uninhibited intuition reveal what’s in your future. From Darkness to Dreamland Your famously powerful feelings are especially delightful this month. You are able to release your restrained desires in constructive ways, but beware the onset of frustration when people or situations reveal themselves as less than perfect. Queuing in the CAM bank will take up most of your month but with the rest of the time try and watch an advert on TV. A fresh light is cast on old patterns to excite you with new possibilities now. A New Dawn There’s good news for you this month. Although your life is improving, remember that the hard work of stabilizing your finances doesn’t happen overnight - but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the only problem is it’s the Guardia, and you haven’t got your lights on. Cast hopelessness aside in favour of realizing the good times that are ahead.
Growing Pains This is a month of adjustments, Capricorn. Changing conditions require you to alter your course to avoid running into resistance from others. Taking the time to make a few simple adjustments now can make your life drastically easier down the road. A trip to Pinoso will prove fruitful in more ways than one.
To Thine Own Self Be True The heaviness of last month is waning and you’re now able to grow more progressive in your thinking. There’s magic to be found in your personal faith as you face the sometimes harsh realities of everyday life. But looking on the bright side flights are fairly cheap so the in-laws will be over soon...
Magical Mystery Tour Your life gets a little rosier this month, the Spanish sun will shine on your special day, unless it rains, or its cloudy. Your general manner and appearance are more appealing as you’re enjoying life’s little delights and sharing those good feelings with others. Your recharged imagination allows you to see that those dreams that seem far out of reach are actually closer than you think, although some of them are not always strictly legal…
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BUSINESS DIRECTORY AIR CONDITIONING DIGINOVA Santa Pola KOOL KLIMATE All Areas MAYO Gran Alacant REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant
Tel 660 631 380 Tel. 96 679 1184 Tel 665 063 228 Tel 670 260 684
ANIMAL RESCUE LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 112 0244 ALBERGUE Bacarot Tel 96 596 0224
BARS BAR DE RISA Hondon Tel. 96 548 2047 LOS BELGAS Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8298 LOUNGE BAR La Marina Tel. 96 679 0506 PHOENIX BAR La Marina Tel. 663588340 SUNSET BAR Gran Alacant Tel. 664 277 986
BOOKS LA MARINA ANIMAL WELFARE La Marina Tel 96 679 5593 MALVINA BOOKS La Romana Tel. 96 569 6656
BUILDING / MAINTENANCE ALTOMAR Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353 CLIVE COOMBER Gran Alacant Tel 669 593 212 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040
BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS TIBA All Areas
Tel. 902 906 015
XTRA RENT A CAR Santa Pola Tel 607 850 664 HONDON RENT A CAR Hondon Tel 96 610 5205
CARPENTRY Tel 665 063 228 Tel 670 260 684
CAR REPAIRS RENAULT Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3746 PERFORMANCE & DIESEL Guardamar Tel. 96 610 7606 VILLAGE GARAGE Catral Tel. 667 369 043
CAR SALES FWR CARS El Altet RENAULT Santa Pola CLUB CARS La Marina
DIVING SANTA POLA DIVE ACADEMY Santa Pola Tel. 677 670 468
DOCTORS CLINICA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel: 96 669 7411 EMERGENCY Tel 608 666 455
DOMESTIC APPLIANCES
APPLIANCE FIX Gran Alacant Tel. 96 618 3024 EURONICS Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5365
ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC CCW ELECTRICAL Gran Alacant Tel 617 872 405 DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040
ENTERTAINMENT FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399
ESTATE AGENTS IPG La Marina Tel. 96 679 5233 MASA INTERNATIONAL Gran Alacant Tel. 629 251 747 TOP ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7357
FARMACIAS FARMACIA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7471
FISCAL
CAR HIRE
MAYO Gran Alacant REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant
INSURANCE
DENTAL ALBA DENTAL Albatera Tel. 664 722 154 BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 DENTURES DIRECT Gran alacant Tel. 619 185 122
Tel. 96 568 7976 Tel 96 541 3746 TEL. 96 618 0006
CAR TRANSFERS CAR SERVICE CENTRE La Marina Tel. 650 821 082 HEADLAMP EXCHANGE La Marina Tel. 96 610 8938 LEGAL SOLUTIONS La Marina Tel. 96 679 6060 RE-REGISTRATION SPECIALISTS La Marina Tel. 650 821 082
CLUBS / SOCIETIES MONTE MAR BOWLS CLUB Gran Alacant Tel: 96 669 8676
COMPUTERS BLUE MOON SOLUTIONS All Areas Tel. 655 044 970 SPANISH INKS All Areas www.spanishink.com
CONVEYANCING ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 8796
BILLERICKY All Areas Tel. 96 238 9622 ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 ABACO Torrevieja Tel 96 670 3748 WWB All Areas Tel. 96 619 6563
FURNITURE SECOND HAND FURNITURE La Marina Tel. 96 644 3370 BARCLAYS NEARLY NEW San Fulgencio Tel. 96 672 5725 NEW 2 YOU All Areas Tel. 96 571 5605
GARDENING JUST WILLIAM La Marina
Tel. 667 003 367
HAIRDRESSERS FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031 JO MOBILE HAIRD La Marina Tel. 96 679 0920
HEALTH & BEAUTY
BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031 FINISHING TOUCHES La Romana Tel. 637 993 667 JPS FITNESS All Areas Tel. 693 596 532
HEARING CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802
HEATING DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel: 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040
HOUSEHOLD SERVICES CHIMNEY SWEEP All Areas Tel. 620 650 220 MOZISTOP All Areas Tel. 659 259 319 TINA’S MOBILE CATERING Hondon Tel. 690 289 044 WISHES & DREAMS Albatera Tel. 636 948 581
ALMARCHA INSURANCE La Marina Tel. 96 572 9747 ALMARCHA INSURANCE Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7262 GLOBELINK All Areas Tel. 96 626 5000 ROWLAND INSURANCE Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3076
JEWELLRY GOLD WANTED All Areas Tel. 664 890 990 NIKOLAS MICHAEL Quesada Tel. 634 043 060
KENNELS JEAN & DAVE’S Hondon Tel. 660 969 529 LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 965 475 463
PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034
MORTGAGES JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796
MOSQUITO NETS MOZISTOP All Areas
Tel. 659 259 319
NATURE
MALCOLM PALMER Santa Pola Tel 96 608 2454
NURSING CARE IN THE COMMUNITY All areas Te. 96 597 5459
OPTICIANS
CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel 966 698 802 SPECSAVERS Torrevieja Tel. 96 692 7249
OSTEOPATH ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034
PAINTERS / DECORATORS
MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040 JULIO Gran Alacant Tel. 697 314 022
PETS CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 2328 LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax Tel 96 547 5463 MOUNTAIN VIEW CAT HOTEL Hondon Tel. 96 667 7273
PHYSIOTHERAPY ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034
PLUMBERS DMF PLUMBING All Areas Tel. 96 679 9740 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040
POSTAL OFFEX All Areas
Tel. 96 672 0959
PROPERTY RENTALS OPI RENTALS Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7438 La Marina Tel. 96 679 5422 INVEST SPAIN Elche Tel. 96 542 9396
REMOVALS MISTER VAN All Areas Tel. 697 775 588 BMC TRANSPORT Torrevieja Tel. 620 044 983
RESTAURANTS COCOA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8509 FOGO DEL MESTRE Crevillente Tel. 96 540 5468 LA NAO Santa Pola LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399 LOUNGE BAR La Marina Tel. 96 679 0506 OUR PLAICE FISH & CHIPS La Marina Tel. 96 679 5418 RINCON MONTE MAR Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7483 SAFFRON Gran Alcant Tel. 96 669 8098 SUNSET BAR Gran Alacant Tel. 664 277 986 WISHING WELL Dolores Tel. 96 671 1653
SHOES
SALVADOR ARTESANO Elche Tel. 96 667 5441
SIGNS / SIGN WRITING ACTION SIGNS All Areas Tel. 96 599 8927 CORTES SIGNS Santa Pola Tel. 686 464 076
SOLICITORS
JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796
SUNBLINDS TOLDOS PENALVER Santa Pola Tel. 96 543 2350
SUPERMARKETS EUROSTRETCHER Almoradi Tel. 96 671 6790 KJ’s Pinoso Tel. 96 547 8484 SAV€WAY Benijofar Tel. 669 611 653
SWIMMING POOL (MAINTENANCE) GA POOLS Gran Alacant Tel 628 030 184 PJ’s All Areas Tel 619 501 657
SWIMMING POOL (CONSTRUCTION) REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040
TAX ADVICE ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796
TOBACCO ESTANCO 7 Santa Pola
Tel. 96 669 4716
TRANSLATORS ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MITCH BULL Gran Alacant Tel. 638 608 422
TRANSPORT BMC TRANSPORT Torrevieja Tel. 620 044 983 TAXI Santa Pola Tel 609 959 408
TV DIGINOVA Santa Pola SIMULSAT Santa Pola
Tel 660 631 380 Tel. 677 878 210
VETS CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 8463
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